


Waves

by Uzumaki_Rebellion



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BDSM, Big wave surfing, Black Character(s), Black Panther AU, Black Surfers, Black Women Surfing, Erik Killmonger Is A Surfer, Erik Killmonger Lives, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Japanese Rope Bondage, Michael B. Jordan - Freeform, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Tension, Shibari, Smitten Erik Killmonger, Soft Erik Killmonger, Surf Culture, Surfer!Erik Killmonger, Surfing, Tow-In Surfing, erotic romance, surfer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:06:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 47
Words: 238,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26026939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uzumaki_Rebellion/pseuds/Uzumaki_Rebellion
Summary: In this Black Panther AU, Erik "Killmonger" Stevens is a Pro Surfer who has semi-retired to Mission Beach, in San Diego California to try and live out a quiet and reclusive Endless Summer. One of the few Black Pro's to be successful and famous on the Pro Surfing tour circuit, Killmonger derived his namesake from attacking some of the largest waves around the world.Older, wiser, and navigating a prickly relationship with his estranged wife, a former model, while raising two energetic young children, his world is turned upside down when a young upstart Black female surfer crashes into his life and takes the surfing world by storm.
Relationships: Erik Killmonger/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 189
Kudos: 47





	1. Sexy M.F.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This is a new book series featuring I think the first and only Surfer!Erik Killmonger. It is an AU, (my very first), and I'm really excited about writing a world I love--Black Surfers and the beach culture I live in real life. Enjoy!

"In a word or two, it's you I want to do  
No, not your body, your mind you fool  
Come here baby, yeah  
You sexy motherfucker…"

Prince—"Sexy M.F."

Sabine "Sugar" Bennett rode her red, black, and green beach cruiser up and down Ocean Front Walk just to calm her nerves. It was the first day of the 'Girls Surf!" summer surf camp that she was running with her besties, and she was worried about the turnout. They had spent a pretty penny on renting wetsuits and surfboards for the day and she hoped enough girls showed up to use the equipment. There had been a few cancellations and she prayed they broke even for their first event.

It was only six in the morning and the surf camp didn't start until seven, so she had plenty of time to loop around the beach basketball court and work her legs.

Three white men were using the court when she passed by and as she made her way back, a three-story beach house under some construction caught her eye. Scaffolds, cement bags, stacks of wood sat on the roof of the house, but the enclosed patio at the bottom had three expensive Killmonger brand Killer Waves surfboards lined up against the side of the house. All out in the open.

Sabine stopped her bike and stared at the surfboards.

One green and white longboard. A yellow and red shortboard. And a solid blue stand-up paddleboard. The fin design on the shortboard was exceptional.

Three thousand dollars' worth of boards just sitting out in the open so close to a public boardwalk. Money must be nice to not care about theft. She admired the boards a few minutes longer, wishing she had the type of coins to procure top-notch gear. Her eyes took in the home. Lots of glass and open spaces on a corner lot. Patio big enough to house a party or two. Enviable views of the ocean on all three floors.

Must be nice.

Sabine admired the boards again as four construction workers entered the property gate with tools and plywood.

She started pedaling again, stretching her legs out as the bike carried her to…

Holy shit.

When Sabine had left her friends Asia and Yolanda on the beach in front of the Mission Beach amusement park, they were the only ones there watching over their gear, as a few early birds, walkers, joggers, and bike riders passed them on the boardwalk. Now, at least twenty excited elementary-aged girls were clamoring to sign up for surf lessons. Most were white with a couple of Asian girls, but Sabine was pleased to see three Black girls waiting to learn too.

Sabine was happy that she had listened to Yolanda. Originally, they wanted to model themselves after the Black Girls Surf organization up in Santa Monica and focus on teaching Black girls and women like themselves. However, it was Yolanda who suggested that they open it up to all girls to make it profitable for their first gig. As much as Sabine wanted to cater to girls like herself who were often ignored and made to feel unwelcome in some beach spaces, they would've lost money with three eager Black girls. Yolanda insisted they could do special Black Girl clinics once they started making a profit to expand what they were trying to do.

Staring at the bright happy faces ready to learn, Sabine saw that they didn't have enough gear for everyone to use, which was a good problem to have on some level. They would have to teach in partner/share mode. Hopefully, some of the girls wouldn't want to use a wetsuit.

"The moment you left, they just started turning up!" Asia said running their check-in station that consisted of a folding chair and a large beverage cooler as a portable table. She ran a couple of credit cards on her cell phone attachment for the parents who were signing up for classes on the spot.

Within thirty minutes, Sabine, Asia, and Yolanda were leading the cutest little gang of high-energy girls on the beginning basics of surfing. She was relieved when many of the girls had bought their wetsuits for the class. There were enough wetsuits to go to others who didn't have one. Partnering the girls with surfboard use worked out wonderfully. The ten boards were just enough, and if all the girls came back again the next day, then Sabine wouldn't have to rent anymore.

The two-hour session covered water safety, stretching/warm-ups, slathering on sunblock, getting to know the history of surfing, learning the parts of the board, and then they were out on the water practicing paddling, balance and learning how to stand up without tripping over the leashes. Sabine was happy that so many of the girls caught on fast and several were able to drop into small waves for the first time.

When Sabine had to tell the girls that their first day of surf camp was over, there was a loud groan of disappointment, especially from one little nine-year-old named Marina who stuck to Sabine like glue.

Collecting borrowed wetsuits and empty water bottles and after surf snack trash, Sabine threw the girls' shaka hand signs with her thumb and pinky finger. Shouts of "Later dude!" bounced around among the girls.

"I can help you do that."

Sabine looked over at the little girl with the reddish-brown skin, snaggle-toothed grin, and tightly curled dark brown hair with the sun-bleached tips. Her slightly drooping left eye made her the cutest thing in the world to Sabine. She was still wearing her teal and white tankini and bikini bottoms. Sabine noticed she didn't have a towel or bring a change of clothes. She was also barefoot.

Sabine stood back from the open public beach shower and allowed the girl to rinse off the small wetsuits. The large white bucket Sabine had with her was filled with neoprene cleaner, and she gently washed the inside-out suits and handed them to Marina to rinse. They were done in no time.

"I had fun today. You are good teachers," Marina said.

"Thank you. I'm so glad you came to learn with us."

Sabine rinsed off her hands and gathered up the wetsuits with Marina's help. Asia joined them to help carry suits and the empty cleaning bucket.

Looking around the beach, all the other girls were gone. Marina was the only child left. Alone.

"Who is picking you up?" Sabine asked.

"My Mom. She'll be here soon."

Sabine left Marina with Asia and Yolanda as she walked to the parking lot near the old wooden rollercoaster to get her black and white VW van. Driving it around to the main boardwalk entrance, they loaded up their gear, and Sabine's bike inside her van. Six of the boards went inside, the other four she tied on top of the roof rack.

"Hopefully they'll all come back tomorrow," Yolanda said.

"They will," Marina said swinging her hands.

"Starving," Asia said.

They all stared at Marina.

"Your Mom knows to get you at ten, right?" Sabine said.

It was already eleven.

"Yeah. She said she was going to have breakfast while I was here."

Marina's eyes darted around looking for her mother. Sabine kept her van running in case some cops came to hustle her along. The beach was getting crowded and the sun was getting hotter.

"Here," Sabine said handing Marina sunblock. Her skin was turning an even darker brown from being out on the water for three hours.

"There she is!" Marina squealed waving her hands frantically.

Sabine tried to see who she was waving at and a dark-haired white woman with a spray-on tan tottered over in chunky heels and an expensive purple beach romper.

"I am so sorry to be getting her so late! There was a long wait at Petey's Café in O.B. and y'know, some good mimosas and garden omelets can distract anyone. Hi, Muffin, did you have a good time?"

The woman hugged Marina and stroked her daughter's hair.

"Ooh, we better take care of this when we get home," she said.

She lifted her pricey sunglasses and Sabine noticed the scrunching of her nose when she fondled her daughter's thick curls.

"Before I forget—"

The woman reached into her tangerine Hermès Birkin handbag and pulled out crisp twenty-dollar bills.  
Now Sabine remembered her. Calista Stevens. The woman whose credit card was declined when she tried to pay for Marina's lessons. She had been mortified when Asia handed her back her card. She swore up and down that she would return with cash, and poor Marina stood there embarrassed when the other women and girls stared at her mishap. Sabine allowed Marina to participate sans payment sparing her further discomfort. She shook her head. Folks living above their means never learned.

"There's some extra in there for me being late," Calista said.

There was a tired glamor to Calista. She was very pretty, but with some surgical help in a lot of places.

"Let's not hold you up any longer. Thanks for being so cool about, y'know…won't happen again," she said.

Calista slammed her sunglasses on her face.

"Bye," Marina said as Calista dragged her in the opposite direction.

Sabine and her friends watched the mother and daughter blend into the crowd.

"Girl…what negro…?" Yolanda said.

"You know how it is," Asia said rolling her eyes.

"She seemed nice. A little flakey. Marina is really cute," Sabine said.

"Yes, she is. So polite and helpful," Yolanda said.

"I wanna see who her Daddy is," Asia quipped.

They hopped inside Sabine's car and rolled out to their breakfast spot, the regular-shmegular IHOP with the three-stack special.

As they ate and debriefed, Asia calculated their profit and losses. They would make a small profit.

"New tires for me!" Sabine said running down all the bills she had due, one of which was her upcoming tuition fees at UCSD. She was graduating early with a marine biology degree and the fees were eating into most of her budget. Living out of her van helped a lot, and having parents that owned a local taco shop helped with food. She glanced at her water-proof watch.

"Gotta run, you guys good?"

They paid for their food and Sabine dropped them off at their cars back at the beach. Driving two blocks away, Sabine parked in the small parking lot of her Step-Father's Taqueria, San Felipe's.

"Azúcar!"

Her Step-Father Cedro walked out from the kitchen when he saw her walk in.

"Hey Papi," she said giving him a big kiss on his cheek.

Cedro's tight eyes and pock-marked skin gave him a formidable look. The serious Aztec designed tats on his arms let people know he wasn't one to play with. Especially when it came to his gourmet San Felipe style fish and shrimp tacos.

"Mommy here?"

"She'll be here soon. Picked up some seasoning at the market. Hungry?"

"Ate already."

"Hey, Sugar Baby, you hungry?"

Belinda, Sabine's mother swept in with shopping bags from the nearby Mexican market.

"Just told Papi I ate."

"Where?"

"IHOP."

"Traitor!" Cedro barked tapping her arm with the back of the spatula in his hand.

"I could've made you one of my new breakfast burritos with the sliced avocados and white sauce."

"I'll have that for dinner."

"I only cook it from seven until twelve."

"So who's the traitor now? I'm your daughter!"

Belinda handed off her bags to one of their workers and spritzed hand sanitizer on her fingers. She pulled on a green apron and helped take orders at the counter for the lunch rush. Sabine wandered over to their self-serve drink dispenser and helped herself to some free horchata. She sat at a booth and used her parent's free wifi to check her emails on her laptop.

"Here, cause I know your stomach is a bottomless pit," her mother said handing her a plate of carne asada taquitos.

"Love you," Sabine tossed out.

"Yeah, I know," her mother tossed back.

Belinda's short fro was hidden under a black hairnet, and her coconut brown skin was already sweaty from the heat. Sabine watched her parents and marveled at how two college sweethearts dropped out of school together, broke up, four years later finished school, got back together, and then opened a taqueria based on the tacos they ate in San Felipe as surf bums back in the day.

That lean handsome Mexican man from Chula Vista and that shapely gorgeous Black woman from Encanto had been through a lot together. Especially with the birth of Sabine.

When Belinda broke up with Cedro, to get over him, she took up with a man from Dallas and moved there. It didn't work out. Sabine was the result of that union. Returning to San Diego with a toddler in tow, Belinda reconnected with her true love and he accepted Sabine with open arms and an open heart. She had no contact with her biological father, (not by her own doing) and Cedro took her as his own the moment he saw her. They were so close, everyone assumed she was his child. He hated people calling her his Step-daughter. Her mother had a son with Cedro, and she looked so much like her brother Robert that Cedro felt vindicated because Robert looked like him.

She typed in the Killmonger Brand surfboards on google. Perusing the different types of boards, she found the one shortboard that she saw sitting outside on the boardwalk. Fuck. Fifteen hundred dollars for that shit. And it wasn't even due out on the market until Fall. Lucky bastard.

Wolfing down the taquitos, she left some money at the counter tip jar and bid her parents farewell and thanked them for the wifi usage. Leaving her car van in their parking lot, she walked two blocks back to the boardwalk and followed the walkway path back to the fancy tri-level. Just to look at the boards again.

Rounding the curve of the boardwalk that led to the house, she spotted Marina sitting out on the sand, running her fingers through the golden grains.

"Hey, Marina."

"Hi," she said with unenthusiastic energy.

"What's wrong?"

"That's why I cut off your cards, you spend too much on ridiculous shit you don't need!"

"I was paying for your daughter's surfing lessons—"

"Surfing lessons? What the fuck are you doing paying for surfing lessons?"

The voices were so loud and vicious. They startled Sabine.

She could see the reflection of a woman inside the tri-level. The construction workers sat on top of the roof and went about their business as if what they heard was nothing new. Marina flinched when she heard the screeching of the female voice.

"Fuck you, Erik!"

Sabine watched Calista fly out of the front door and slam it shut. A tall imposing figure ran out and grabbed her arm.

"Don't be slamming my shit like that!"

Calista wrenched her arm from the man's grasp and shoved the carefully placed surfboards with an angry swipe of her hand.

"Are you crazy?!"

The man rushed forward and lifted his precious boards back up.

"Out here acting like a goddamn child-!"

"Because you treat me like one!"

Marina pressed her hands against her ears.

Sabine saw a light-skinned pre-teen boy with loose wavy hair wander out onto the second-floor balcony wearing wireless headphones. He glanced down at the commotion, then wandered back into the house with a bored expression on his face.

Sabine's mouth fell open.

The owner of the surfboards she admired was created by the same man screaming at the belligerent Calista.

A man whose picture she had hanging on her bedroom wall among other photos she'd collected over the years when she first started surfing seriously as a teen. The sexiest M.F. to ride the waves since Kelly Slater.

Erik Stevens.

The wave killer.

The Big Kahuna.

Better known as Killmonger.

The man admired among proud Black surfers as That Nigga.

The surfer they all wanted to be like on the water.

Her hero was screaming at a white woman who began to kick at the surfboards with her hard chunky heels to make her point heard.

"That's Killmonger…" Sabine said out loud wistfully.

"That's my, Dad," Marina said with the smallest voice in the whole wide world.


	2. 9th Wonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik's conflict with Calista causes a stranger to step to his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is really humming along!

"To the depths I dive seems lunar like aqua  
The cool blast mega we black we wild flowers  
"Scott La Rock had emm all, " I gots the ball  
And roll a little panthers through these project halls  
The 3-color flag can't hold my baggy's sag  
7 1 8 to omega  
Black motion is ocean style…"

Digable Planets – "9th Wonder"

The moment Calista slammed his front door, he lost it.

Erik chased after his estranged wife and grabbed her arm hard, harder than he had intended. She had been pushing his buttons the moment she arrived. It had been a mistake to let her in the house in the first place, but she had his baby girl with her, and Erik didn't want to make another scene with his daughter present. His son arrived later, dropped off by his friend's parents from a soccer game. It was his weekend with the kids, and he looked forward to spending time with them and not their mother. His boy, Erik Stevens Jr, (called Deuce by the family), went immediately to the second floor of the house where his bedroom was. He didn't speak to Erik when he walked in, so he knew his son's team had lost their game. The boy would be moody for the rest of the day. Erik learned to ignore Deuce when he was in that state.

Marina was a bundle of endless energy, the complete opposite of her brother. Talkative and forever moving around, she shifted the energy of the house with her bright smiles and constant chatter.

Daddy how come this?

Daddy how come that?

So many questions that he tried to answer before she was off running outside and onto the beach to play in the water or ride her bike on the boardwalk.

Calista had been waiting inside the house for him when he arrived home after a contract negotiation in Los Angeles for a new athletic brand in Japan. He would be flying to Tokyo in a week to film a commercial and the amount of money they were paying him was ridiculous. All he had to do was wear an aerodynamic bodycon tracksuit while walking with a surfboard in Shirahama, then stop and gaze at some water while young Japanese surfers walked around him. All expenses paid. Half a million. Erik made more money selling non-surf products overseas after semi-retiring. When rumors started floating around that he was thinking of making a come-back, chasing after a World Championship win to tie up with Kelly Slater's record, his value had gone up considerably.

Erik shunned a lot of U.S. products understanding early at the beginning of his career how to market himself by making himself a scarce commodity.

His early days attending UC Santa Cruz taught him that.

An Oakland transplant, Erik didn't follow his parent's footsteps by attending Berkley. He opted to leave Northern California to study in Southern California and live in Surf City which was Santa Cruz. The beaches were better.

Packing up his Toyota Forerunner with clothes and two surfboards, he headed south and fell in with a group of semi-professional surfers. Spending more time at the beach than in class, Erik scraped by with a B average and graduated with an engineering degree. The day after graduation he turned to professional surfing full-time and never looked back.

Everyone knew he was destined to be one of the great ones. Steamer Lane was his spot to surf in Santa Cruz. Locals and ogling tourists would come out to watch him rip through the waves because he was an anomaly: A Black surfer who was eating up white boys left and right on the water. When the swells were up, it was a dangerous place to surf, but Erik was known to ignore danger and go full out, taming the waves in his aggressive style. It was where he earned the nickname that stuck with him into his professional life. The wave killer. Killmonger the Great. In his mind, he was the ninth wonder of the world. The eighth wonder was his favorite surfboard, Buckwild.

Before he even stepped into his first professional competition at seventeen, corporations were coming at him to endorse all manner of products. When a popular surfer hangout for fast food caught wind that there was a video circulating of Erik eating one of their tacos on the water before riding one of the most treacherous waves that year at Steamer Lane, they hired him to do his first commercial. And his second and third. The commercials were so popular that business boomed and Erik had to stop eating there because he was harassed by people. Especially women.

Lord.

The women.

By his own self-assessment, Erik knew he was good-looking. He had used his looks, especially his smile and dimples to run game on many people. The women were easy. Especially the white ones that flocked to the beaches all the time giving him all the sex he could ever want. Asian women. Latino women. The sistas.

But things shifted when he moved to Santa Cruz. Wasn't too many sistas there. The few he messed around with weren't really into beach life. Getting the hair wet constantly, the grit and dirt of climbing rocks, or being in the hot sun too long around a bunch of drunk dudes bothered a lot of them. He started dating a few IG chicks that slid into his DMs, and by the time he left Santa Cruz, he had the reputation of dating only white women. And it was true. Being on the circuit, that was the pussy that was easily available to him. They threw themselves at him and he caught each and every one. He wasn't just killing waves, he was killing the Beckys too.

Back in the day he wasn't ever discerning about who he hooked up with. However, he understood the power of optics, so when he was invited to give an NAACP Award after winning his first surf Championship and his face was plastered everywhere, he took his sister as his date. It squashed chatter about him for a minute and he didn't have to bring his then Swedish girlfriend Allison there to add fuel to the fire of online gossip that said he hated Black women.

He didn't hate them. He just didn't date that many because he wasn't around that many in the professional surfing world. His own Mama questioned him about it after the NAACP Awards and he felt disrespected by her because of it. All the Black girls he fucked with in Oakland wasn't enough to let people know he was down for whoever attracted him?

Luckily, he didn't put too much energy into convincing people that white women weren't his only type, although many Black bloggers kept posting "Gotcha Nigga!" photos of him around the world with non-Black women. He ignored it.

And then Calista came along.

Runway and print model work had her globetrotting constantly. She even tried her hand at acting even though she wasn't very good at it. They met on a Sports Illustrated shoot. He was twenty, cocksure, rolling in dough winning two World Championships back to back. He was gunning for Kelly Slater's records and was on track to matching or breaking them.

Fate paired them up on a beach in Malibu doing seductive poses together. He was all hormones and bravado, and she was all big breasts, tiny waist, and an expensive sculpted booty. She was the "It" girl of the year. Two years older than him, she was well-traveled and into him the moment she laid eyes on him. During a lunch break at the shoot, he fucked her in her RV dressing room. When they resumed taking photos out in the water with her laying seductively across his surfboard, all he could think of was that she had her lips wrapped around his balls like she wanted to be there forever.

Every man wanted her. Every woman wanted to be her.

His ego had grown then. He was feeling himself. Having the bad bitch on his arm that everyone wanted to cozy up to made him snatch her up. They looked good together. At first.

He got caught on the French Riviera with a Spanish lingerie model sucking his dick on a yacht. Photos circulated with all the chatter going on about his dick.

"That girl is going to need mouth surgery from being stretched with horse dick!" One blogger commented.

All kinds of jokes flew around, but instead of ruining his reputation, it bolstered his hotness factor. Thank God he was blessed between the legs because he could've been ethered had he not been packing. The funniest meme he saw about the incident was a picture of a surfboard at the bottom of the ocean with the caption stating it couldn't hold Erik up with all that weight he carried.

Calista didn't find it funny at all and broke up with him. He was cool with it. But then they ran into each other at the ESPY Awards, and she looked good, and one thing led to another. Before he knew it, she was telling him she was pregnant. He had been embarrassed to tell his family about it after he dogged out his brother for knocking up some rando. So, he proposed to Calista, promised to be faithful, got married, and became a Dad on his twenty-first birthday. The moment he held Deuce he thought he could make the family thing work.

Marrying Calista upgraded her status, and she began to receive invites to model for several designers. The best night of her life was attending the MET Gala with Erik in a dress designed by Karl Lagerfeld before he died. She was the belle of the ball and held that social status for a couple of years until a new "It" girl popped up. Erik's career had skyrocketed and he was constantly training and touring the world for surf tournaments. He had three sponsors that allowed him to live lavishly. He even starred in a movie for a friend. It was a bit part, and he helped fund the production. The movie became a hit, and Erik ended up turning down other film and tv roles because he wasn't interested. The irony was, Calista was dying to be a movie star and took trashy parts in films that never saw distribution or tanked. His first time out as a favor turned into a smash. Now he was a partner in a production company that did very well every year. This stuck in Calista's craw. It also soured the marriage even more.

The birth of Marina seemed to calm Calista and she became focused on motherhood. He hired nannies and housekeepers for her to help out while he was gone making money, but something broke in her. Erik had no interest in fixing her. He had tuned out of the marriage, and when he found his daughter having learning disabilities and problems at school, he semi-retired and focused on raising his kids himself in San Diego.

The year before, he asked Calista for a legal separation, and she flew off the handle. He moved out of their La Jolla digs and bought himself a home in Mission Beach.

Calista stood in front of him huffing and puffing, and then she tried kicking his boards again. He lifted her up and pulled her away from the prototypes he had made by hand and she thrashed in his arms like a wild banshee.

A Black woman wearing a tie-dyed half tank top and cut-off shorts ran onto his patio space and tried prying his arms from Calista. Marina was right next to her crying and begging her mother to stop.

"Who are you?" he shouted.

He dropped Calista and Marina pulled on her mother's arm to keep her away from him.

"You two need to take this inside, people are watching," the woman said.

"You're an asshole!" Calista shouted stomping back into the house.

Marina stood there, her eyes wet with tears, and Erik felt his heart sink. The separation was to keep his babies from seeing their parents go at each other.

Erik picked her up and rocked her in his arms.

"It's alright, babygirl. We're just mad at each other. I wasn't trying to hurt Mommy. She was just destroying some things and was I trying to stop her okay?"

"Why do you guys fight all the time?" Marina wailed.

Erik carried his daughter inside the house. He could hear Calista in the kitchen slamming his refrigerator shut and the icemaker running. Erik was able to get Marina to calm down and he rubbed her back as Deuce came down the stairs.

"Mom okay?" Deuce asked.

His fair skin looked flushed from the heat and his light brown eyes were suspicious of everything. His shoulder-length brown hair was twisted up into a junior man-bun.

"She's fine, Deuce."

His son hesitated and his eyes looked behind Erik.

"Who is that?" he asked.

Erik turned and found the strange woman from outside now inside his house.

What the hell?

"You can leave. Nothing to see here now," Erik snapped.

He stalked up to the woman and tried using his body to back her out of his home. She stood her ground. Only a few inches shorter than him, she looked him dead in his eye without blinking.

"I'll leave when I know Calista is okay."

Her voice was tough. He heard a challenge behind it.

"This is my house. Leave."

How did this woman know his wife?

"Daddy, this is my surfing teacher, Sugar."

Sugar?

Erik looked the woman up and down. There was nothing sweet about her at all. Not with that fire in her eyes.

"Sugar, thank you for checking on me," Calista said.

His wife walked in carrying a big glass of ice water. Her eye make-up was runny from crying, and her skin looked a ridiculous shade of spray tan. All the shortcuts this woman took to make herself feel beautiful seemed to make her less happy about herself. She took it out on all of them.

Sugar stepped back from Erik slowly, like a viper cautiously sliding away into the underbrush but ready to strike if the enemy moved too quickly.

"Do you need me to stay here with you and your kids?" she asked Calista.

Bitch, what?

"We're fine, I'm leaving anyway," Calista said glaring at Erik.

Calista gulped down her water and placed it on the coffee table. Grabbing her Birkin bag, she kissed Marina on her cheek.

"I'll see you Monday night, okay Muffin?"

Marina hugged her Mom and walked with her and Sugar out of the house. Erik followed them. After Calista walked around to his private parking, he watched Sugar and Marina hold hands.

"You need anything, you just call me," Sugar said handing Marina a card, "I live close by."

Erik walked over and snatched the business card from her hand.

"My daughter is fine. Please leave my property."

"What are you gonna do, call the cops on me?"

Erik's face grew tight.

"Daddy, stop being mean. Sugar is cool," Marina said grabbing his hand and swinging it in hers. Erik read the card.

Girls Surf! Sabine "Sugar" Bennett. Owner/Operator.

His daughter's eyes twinkled as she stared at the curly-haired woman with the body of a …

Shit.

Ma was built.

This was an elite athlete in front of him. Her calves let him know those shapely legs were sculpted from riding waves. Her midsection was tight with defined abs.

"You surf, huh? You any good?" he said with a tinge of doubt about her.

"She's as good as you, Daddy."

Marina sounded confident about that.

"Grab a board," Erik said pulling off his t-shirt.

Sugar's eyes dropped down to his chest, and then they flicked over to the boards Calista tried to destroy.

"Any board?" she said.

He tilted his head at her. There was a hunger in her voice.

"Your choice."

She snapped up the shortboard.

"You wanna ride fast. Let me get my other shortboard," he said.

He sauntered into his house and heard Marina whisper to Sugar.

"Don't make him look bad, he's kinda old."

Sugar laughed and Erik stopped to look back at her. It was a lusty laugh and she had her head thrown back. The sun at that moment made a halo of light around her ocean-swept curls. She wiped her eyes and gave Marina a high five.

"I'll be gentle with him," she said.


	3. Mornin' Dew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik shares waves with Sabine, but she finds it hard to reconcile his gruff personality with the hero she admired as a teenager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knew writing shorter chapters would make me write faster chapters, lol!

"One more time  
I think I see the fire in your eyes  
You're burnin but you know you need the light  
You're searching for your self to redefine  
Gimme a sign

You keep on wanting someone just like you  
Takin your chances with me way to soon  
Sayin you're lonely and always consumed  
Girl you're gettin way way too close"

Sunni Colon—"Mornin' Dew"

Sabine rested her fingers on the coating of wax on the shortboard.

She couldn't believe she was holding a Killmonger shortboard prototype. The first and only of its kind in the world. It was very light in weight with a sensual shape to the overall experimental design. Less than six feet tall with quad fins, Sabine wondered what it would be like to watch Erik mold and handshape the board. The craftsmanship nearly took her breath away. The fact that he was a shaper, making boards by hand himself felt romantic to her. Leading board manufacturers used high tech machines to spit out boards fast in twenty-five minutes or less and clamored to get endorsements from Erik, but there was something about the human touch that made the board in her hand special. Erik had sat somewhere and imagined this board in his head, drew it, molded it, then sanded it down himself. Picked the colors himself. Decided how many fins it should have and made them himself.

Marina watched her fondle the board.

Sabine was glad that the little girl had recovered from her parent's squabbling. It was an ugly scene and she felt second-hand embarrassment when passersby on the boardwalk stopped to look at the hot domestic mess. What a way to meet him.

In every picture she had ever seen of Erik, in every picture she had ever collected of him, (even that infamous photo of him and some chick on a yacht when he was twenty), he had a big smile on his face. Those sly dimples made him look so mischievous and yummy and she had spent many a day swooning over shots of him in any new issue of "Surfer Magazine" that he appeared in where he was shredding a wave or doing 360s like it wasn't shit.

She felt a jolt of fear when she saw him rush out of his house and grab his wife's arm. Marina jumped up and took off running toward them when Erik lifted Calista with one strong arm, and Sabine ran after her to break it up.

He was ready to whoop that woman's ass. His face was pinched with a vein throbbing on his right temple, as he snarled at her. It was like watching Godzilla rush up on someone and let out that bloodcurdling battle cry. When all that anger radiated out of him toward Sabine, she didn't back down. It was triggering for sure. She remembered being a small child and hearing her biological father bellow at her mother like that. Sabine felt that child-rooted fear try to anchor itself back in her belly, but she puffed her chest out as her real Daddy taught her. Cedro Ohtli Moreno raised Sabine to let fools know that punks jump up to get beat down. If she had to fight one of her surf Gods to protect a woman and child from abuse, then that's what the fuck she was prepared to do.

In the heat of that moment, Erik Stevens was just an enemy, not a man she admired, and she followed him into his home to make sure he didn't act out any further. He was quick to get in her face, but she held it down until Calista left. She was ready to go off on him again when he snatched her business card from her hand, but Marina defused the situation by grabbing her father's fingers. Sabine saw Erik immediately soften, his eyes becoming less narrow as he looked at his daughter.

When Erik looked at Sabine again, he reacted as if he were seeing her for the first time. She felt his eyes rake up and down her body like he was assessing who the fuck he was really dealing with, and she felt a ticklish feeling at the bottom of her stomach. The rage was gone from his face and in its place was curiosity. He read her card and a smirk came across his lips, one she recognized from staring at it his face for countless hours when she was fourteen and he had just turned Pro. She had to look away from his gaze then, afraid he would see the inappropriate thoughts running through her head.

When he took off his shirt, she had to swallow hard to focus on what he was allowing her to do.

Ride one of his boards.

Erik stepped back out of his house with a solid yellow shortboard that had quad fins too.

"Daddy, can I come? Can I come?" Marina sang out.

"Yeah," Erik said, but his eyes were glued to Sabine's, "give her your keys or whatever you don't want wet."

Sabine handed Marina her keys and change purse. She ran inside the house.

"Let's go," he said.

"You're not going to wait for, Marina?"

"She knows where to go," he said walking out of the patio barefoot wearing peach-colored Hurley shorts.

Sabine trailed behind him and watched the muscles in his back. He was always heavier and undefined in the abs during the offseason when he used to compete, but being semi-retired gave him a softer sexy Dad-bod. She was digging it. It made him less of a deity in her eyes up close.

He led her to his spot not too far from a lifeguard tower. Being that far down the beach had less foot traffic and a lot fewer surfers to crowd into the ocean with. Erik stretched his back and legs and she did the same.

"Wait for me!" Marina cried out as she hustled her teal and black child-sized surfboard clumsily in her hands.

Sabine began to wonder why Calista insisted on Marina getting outside lessons. Her father was ranked high in the most recent Top Ten all-time best surfers in the world list, the only Black person rated like that in the world. He couldn't teach his own child?

Marina bent down to tie the board leash around her ankle. She was still wearing her swimsuit from earlier.

The late afternoon waves were not that high, less than four feet.

"Ready?" he said.

Sabine thought he was talking to her, but his eyes were on his daughter.

"Ready," she said.

She stepped up to her father and they linked their pinky fingers together then snapped their fingers in a specialized bonding that was just for them. It was cute, and Sabine kinda wanted to do it too, but she didn't want to steal their private father-daughter thing.

Erik's eyes glanced at Sabine, and she got the butterflies in her belly again.

Concentrate.

This man was ranked just under the father of modern surfing, Duke Kahanamoku of Hawaii. Sabine had watched hours and hours of YouTube videos of Erik stunting on his board. His foot game was sick on his board, and he could do aerial stunts on the water just like he used to do when he skateboarded.

She had bought a DVD documentary that told the story of skater punks turned pro surfers when she was fifteen and full of scars from her skateboarding mishaps. It was her first time seeing Erik. He had a head full of locs with bleached tips, and he was so cute as a kid, that she found herself cheesing watching him on DVD when he was a kid in Oakland. The editors of the documentary did an amazing transition shot of Erik at a skate park where he did a backside air, grabbing the heel of his skateboard while lifting off the transition and turning the board in the air. The scene was match cut to a much older Erik doing the same move on a surfboard before dropping into a barrel roll where an ocean cinematographer filmed him riding the curve of a glorious tube of iridescent blue water. His fingers skimmed the water inside the tube and that big smile of his fluttered her heart. She wanted to be just like him at that moment.

When it showed him at UC Santa Cruz and his first championship, she fell in…love?

Not love. Hard crushing to the point of stan behavior.

She begged her Daddy to drive her and their family to Big Sur just to try and catch Erik in the water there when he posted photos of himself hanging with buddies there for a weekend. He wasn't there, but she was able to catch him in Santa Monica when he was part of a celebration of the Inkwell, an area where Black surfers back in the day were allowed to swim and surf when racists whites segregated and subjugated Black life to hellish conditions. Erik and other Black surfers were changing the narrative of Black beach culture. Black surfers were on the rise. Sabine wanted to be one of them as her own mother was in the early 80s.

Her adoration of Erik was pure athletic reverence. Every championship he won, she acted like she had won. It gave her the courage to compete in local amateur competitions herself. Her goal was to turn Pro. She promised her parents she would finish school first. But turning Pro cost money, which…she did not have.

The three of them eased into the cool water as the hot sun blazed down their backs. Paddling out, Sabine saw that Marina was already a good surfer. She had been so shy and accommodating during Sabine's surf camp that she thought the girl had never seen a surfboard before. But here she was, slicing her arms through the water like a miniature version of her father.

They floated in a quiet line-up with one another. Marina splashed water at Erik and he splashed her back. Sabine snuck peeks at his face as he smiled at his daughter, and his whole face glowed. Erik looked behind himself.

"This one is you baby girl," he said.

Marina stared at the incoming wave.

"Go!" Erik said,

Marina took off, paddling ahead of the wave. She popped up just in time too and rode the top of the crest before dropping down, twisting her board back and forth diagonally to extend her ride. When she made it to shore without falling off, she threw up the familiar hang loose shaka hand sign.

Erik shouted his proud approval of her seamless ride. Marina flipped her board around and paddled back out.

"Here comes a nice one—"

Before Erik could finish his sentence, Sabine took off, her strong arms moving the board forward. She loved how the board handled the water and as she popped up, Erik caught the same wave, and aggressively rode alongside her, putting pressure on her to move her board in ways to keep from crashing into him. It pissed her off. Crouching low, she jumped up high on the wave crest lifting the board in a slick aerial move that surprised him. When she landed back on the water, she clipped his board on purpose causing him to wipe out.

Making it to shore, she turned right back around and paddled out, doing a duck move under a wave with the board splashing out on the other side. She joined up with Marina who watched her father paddle back in. Marina took another wave by herself and took a tumble, but she bounced back to the surface coughing and pushing her hair back from her eyes. She worked her way back.

Erik's face looked hot when he paddled over to Sabine and waited for another wave.

"The fuck you do that for?" he barked.

"Why the fuck you dick riding?" she snapped back taking off again, leaving him in her wake.

Erik hung back as she snagged a beauty. The board moved like a dream, and she played on the wave trying a few foot tricks, even doing a 360 the way she first saw Erik do it when she was younger. By the time she kicked out of the wave, she felt regret knowing that she would have to give the board back.

Erik slid past her and jumped off his board. They eyed one another then headed back in, sharing waves with Marina. Erik and Sabine shared a couple more waves, zipping down neck and neck at times and moving with expert precision around one another as the waves grew a little bigger and came a little faster. He got back at her by pushing her off the board when she dropped down too close to him trying to put pressure on his ass.

They surfed for an hour before Erik headed back in for good. Sabine took her time riding the last good wave in, hitting a few aerials, and testing the board with a lot of footwork. Erik and Marina watched her from the shore.

"How it feel?" he asked when she unleashed herself.

"It's an excellent board. I'm impressed. It moves super-fast. I'd like to see how it rides in a barrel. You have any plans to make removable fins?"

"Thinking about it."

"How I do?"

"You aight, Ma. Nothing to write home about."

Her heart sank. His face was neutral and she couldn't tell if he was playing or not.

"C'mon, baby girl," he said.

Erik walked ahead of her once more with his shortboard slung under his arm.

Sabine felt a tightness in her chest. She tried to suck it up and praise herself for some cool maneuvers she did. But the heaviness weighed on her. He didn't think she was any good. Her surf God, the coolest surfer to her in the whole wide world outside of her parents, thought she was basic. Not worth a damn. If he would've just said she was okay, she would've eaten up his words like manna from heaven.

Her eyes found Marina's supportive face. They walked side by side together back toward the tri-level. Marina carried her board on top of her head.

"You look sad," Marina said.

"Your Dad thinks I suck."

"He's lying."

Sabine stopped. Marina paused with her. Erik was far ahead of them, almost to his patio.

"He thinks you're good."

"He said that?"

"Yeah. He said you need to work on your take-offs, you're way too slow with them on a shortboard, and you need to show more respect to the waves."

"What does that mean?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know, but I said you looked cool, and he said you were pretty good."

Sabine felt a smile grow on her lips.

"Marina, how come you're taking surf lessons from me? You know how to surf. You're Dad is one of the best."

"My Mom thinks I can make friends at the camp because I'm good at surfing and people won't make fun of me there like they do at school."

"Why do people make fun of you?"

She shrugged again.

"They just do. My teacher said I don't understand stuff that good, so I get bad grades. People think I'm dumb."

Sabine wanted to cry.

Marina told her those things so matter-of-fact while staring at the sand at her feet.

"You aren't dumb. You are so smart and you are an awesome surfer. Were the girls nice to you at the camp?"

Marina smiled then.

"Yeah, I had a lot of fun."

"How come you didn't surf like you did just now?"

"I didn't want to show off."

Sabine stroked the girl's wet curls.

"Marina, don't ever make yourself small. Don't dim your light for anybody, okay? When we have camp tomorrow, you surf like you normally do."

"Okay."

"Marina!"

Erik called to his daughter.

Sabine handed Erik his board back and he rinsed all the sticks with water from a hose and leaned them back against his house to dry.

Erik stared at Marina. For a long time. She grinned at him.

"You want to keep going to her surf camp?"

"Yes."

His eyes regarded Sabine.

"She'll bring her own board," he said.

"Cool. See you tomorrow, Marina."

"Wait! Your keys."

Marina ran in the house and ran back out lickety-split handing Sabine her things.

"Go clean up for dinner," Erik said, "and wash your hair," he called after Marina as she ran inside the house.

They were alone.

Standing in front of him she noticed his eyes looked so warm and sensual in their sun-kissed brownness. She had so many things she wanted to ask him about his skills and years of experience. Instead, she asked about his daughter.

"Marina told me children make fun of her at school."

Erik's eyes became gentle and his eyes darted away from her direct stare.

"She has some processing issues, so it takes her a little longer to grasp things with her schoolwork and interactions with other kids."

"She said people think she's dumb."

"She's not dumb."

"I know. She's kind. Considerate. Very gentle and helpful. Knows a ton of facts about dolphins and sharks. I'm finishing up a marine biology degree, so we had a nice chat about sharks depositing calcium salts in their skeletal cartilage. She was schooling me."

A big grin came across Erik's face.

"And she's a damn good surfer for her age."

His eyes held hers again.

"Yeah, she is. All those things."

Sabine had to look away from him. Her hands started to sweat. She glanced at her watch.

"I'm late for…um…"

His head tilted toward her waiting for her to finish her sentence.

"I better go," she finally squeaked out.

"Dad, Mr. Sutton is on the phone!"

Erik's son hollered to him from the front door. Sabine saw him better this time. He looked a lot like Calista. Marina looked like a darker female version of Erik

"Be right there, Deuce" Erik said not bothering to turn around.

Deuce went back inside and Sabine took that cue to leave before she started fangirling like she did in high school over this man. She walked to the patio gate and opened it.

"Sugar, wait a minute," he said.

Sabine turned back.

He padded over to the drying surfboards and picked up the shortboard. He reached inside what she thought was a patio table but was actually a rattan storage chest. He pulled out a surfboard sock and stuffed the board inside the green protective covering.

"Use it tomorrow while you teach the girls. Let me know how it really feels after a few hours."

She took the board from his hands. Her nervousness made her hands shake slightly. She felt like she was being hypnotized by him.

She walked out of his patio fast with her mind doing mental gymnastics. She had to stop and stand to the side just to gather herself with the one of a kind board resting at her side.

Looking back toward the tri-level she saw that Erik was still standing there watching her. He waved at her and she gave him a corny ass peace sign before scurrying down the boardwalk once more.

She had no business swooning over a married man.


	4. Solar Plexus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik digs into Sabine's background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are coming out fast, so I'm just going to roll with it. I guess these two want me to tell their story quickly!

"Give thanks when shit get bittersweet  
I be shining inwardly  
I radiate my power  
With a squad of sunflowers (that's the gang)  
Protect ya sweetness  
Your light is not a weakness…"

Oshun—"Solar Plexus"

Erik stared at Sugar's business card.

Sipping on fresh lemonade and lounging out on his bedroom balcony, he turned on his laptop to check on the woman's background. The website for her surf camp was simple, plain, and to the point. A big blue ocean wave gif banner sat at the top, followed by a color photo of three Black women wearing baby blue and white T-shirts that said "Girls Surf!" in a design that matched the wave at the top of the screen. Sugar and two other Black female surfers ran the entire operation. There were no sponsors and their fees were reasonable.

There were individual bios, and when Erik read Sugar's, he learned that she had won a few amateur surf competitions in Southern California and at a Baja Mexico Invitational. She wanted to go Pro and enjoyed using a variety of boards. She had dreams of competing in tow-in Big Wave surfing and her surf heroes were Delilah Franks, an old school O.G from Australia who now judged surf competitions, and…Erik Stevens.

Erik stared at his name and then looked at Sugar's picture above her bio. It was a shot of her carrying a longboard into a wide swath of seafoam. Her smile was big and bright. It was a good marketing picture to use to encourage parents to sign their kids up. Her smile exuded warmth and fun. Marina clearly had fun with her and couldn't stop chattering about all the things they did at the camp. His daughter's favorite part of the experience was sitting around on the beach sand gossiping and eating healthy snacks that Sugar's company provided for the children with all the other girls her age.

Marina talked on and on about all the friendly girls, and her excitement always circled back to how awesome Sugar was.

The other women had impressive surfing experience, and they seemed invested in bringing more young ladies into the sport. There was an extensive sample camp schedule provided and they emphasized safety, fostering confidence, and also having an appreciation for the marine environment. That had to be Sugar's wheelhouse since she said she was a marine biology student. She was young but acted far more mature for her age which he guestimated to be in the early to mid-twenties.

Most of her social media pages were private, but there were a few surfer blogging sites that had interviews with her after her amateur wins. There were also a couple of clips of her on YouTube uploaded by a few Black surfing organizations. She was a San Diego native, who lived a short time in Texas, and she graduated from Mission Bay High School. UCSD was her spot now. She was a local who knew the beaches well up and down the coast.

He stared at her picture again, then clicked on a YouTube clip from five years previous. She was on an Ensenada, Mexico beach, her thick coils of springy hair hanging in damp ringlets around her shoulders with a deep gash on the front of her dark blue wetsuit. She had braces on her teeth that made her face cherubic and she was a little heavier too. Obviously, she was even younger than when the video was uploaded.

"Tell us what happened in that last heat," the sun-bleached blonde interviewer said as he stood next to Sugar with a mic.

"Well, I was hitting this totally sweet tube and I got dragged under. The currents are really strong out there, and I got pummeled. Ripped my suit."

Sugar's voice was hyped up, and her eyes were shiny with the high of riding a gnarly tube almost to completion. Erik found himself smiling at her spastic energy.

"You've been doing very well on the amateur circuit this year. Many are saying you're ready to turn Pro. What are your thoughts on that?"

"That's the dream, but I still want to do a few more amateur competitions, and my parents want me to finish school first…"

Erik sat back in his lounge chair. Her parents sounded like his parents. He could dream about the Pros when he was younger, but schooling came first before anything.

"We heard that you met one of the surf legends when you went to Australia last winter."

"Yeah, Delilah—"

"Delilah Franks—"

"Yeah, she's a straight G. Still out there doing her thing, and showing us youngins how to do it right. I almost fainted when I met her, I was so nervous. But she was really great…gave me a lot of encouragement and tips. We got to do some longboarding together and she fed me an insane amount of food."

"Are there any other legends you'd like to surf with?"

The Black woman standing next to Sugar rolled her eyes playfully and stared at her.

"What was that look for Asia?" the interviewer said.

"I already know the answer," Asia said.

Erik recognized Asia as one of the women running the camp with Sugar.

"What's the answer, Sugar?"

Sugar's medium brown face turned a reddish-brown as she held her face and giggled.

"Killmonger!" she blurted out.

"The wave killer! A great choice to admire. What is it about Killmonger that makes you want to surf with him? What does he do to inspire you?"

Sugar's bubbly face turned a little serious.

"He's the best. Fearless. It can be a little nerve-wracking going against these really huge waves that can snap a board in two, but he just has this drive that makes him take on the challenge of that. He's so pretty when he's out there. It's like he's taming the waves…or like the waves do his bidding. I just…I just admire him so much, and he's one of the few Black surfers to reach the heights that he has in the profession. I just want to be like him…on that level."

"And?" Asia said putting her hand on her hip and nudging Sugar with her arm.

Sugar giggled and held her hand over her mouth.

"Say it!" Asia pressured while laughing at her friend.

"What is it?" the interviewer said, egging her on.

"He's so fine!"

Sugar jumped away from the mic and went out of view for a second after she answered. All Erik could hear was her laughter.

"You have really good taste and a lot of fans would agree with you. Killmonger, if you're watching this, one of your biggest fans draws inspiration from you, and she'd like to share a wave one day. Thanks for speaking with us, Sugar. Good luck in the next heat!"

"Thanks!"

Sugar won that event and there were slow-mo replays of her final heat where she screamed on her board when she dominated a big wave that tried to take her under once more. There was an assertiveness in her surfing that made Erik think of his younger days.

He sat looking at Sugar's young face as he paused the clip of her on the water with her hands raised up in triumph.

What must she think of him?

Was he a disappointment to her since they had shared a wave now?

Did she still feel the same way about him as she did then?

He felt bad for telling her she was just alright. She was good. Very good. Had the makings of a true champion, but she had some sloppy ways about her on the board, and he wasn't invested in wasting energy on her. He had enough on his plate keeping his life from unraveling as much as it had with Calista and the children. He'd given advice and help to various people in his past that he thought were potential talents, but they clung to him like some guru and it was a turn-off. There were plenty of surfers out there that had the aptitude to teach up-and-comers and share their wisdom, but Erik wasn't wired that way. He just wanted to surf and mind his business. Every surfer had their own individual journey and there was no definitive right way to surf. Just pick a board, learn the basics, and carve out your path on the line. Most of his learning came from watching others, not asking a shit ton of questions, and following folks around like a mindless disciple. He knew this rubbed a lot of the old heads the wrong way, but that was his truth. His apprenticeship consisted of watching, doing, experimenting, and adjusting. His catchphrase had always been "Do you." Nike shoes had even paid him to tell the world that in a few print ads and commercials the previous year.

He closed the laptop and went downstairs.

Marina and Deuce were on the sectional in the family room watching anime and snacking on BBQ chips.

"You guys good?" he asked.

They both nodded, eyes glued to the TV.

"Time to get that head lined up, boy," he said staring at Deuce's long hair.

"I don't want to cut it. Girls like it."

"That's what they tell you, or that's what you think?"

"My hair is too straight."

"Wave cape. My dude."

"I need your texture for that, Dad. My hair looked like Josephine Baker when I tried that."

"Your hair looking like Prince with his 70s perm now."

"Just say you're jealous, Dad."

"Whatchu talkin' 'bout boy?"

Erik rubbed his hand across his scalp.

"You need to get with this," he said blocking Deuces view of the TV.

"Can I wear a wave cap, Daddy?"

"You can if you want to, baby girl."

"Told you !" Marina said hitting Deuce's leg.

"You have to have short hair for that, dummy."

"Aye, what I tell y'all about using that word?"

"Sorry….sorry, Marina."

Marina stuffed chips in her mouth.

"You're the dummy, and Daddy's hair looks better than yours," she retorted rolling her eyes at him.

"Hey, I said not to use that word."

"Sorry."

He let them relax. Being with Calista during their weekly trade-offs was stressful for them, according to Deuce. With school, afterschool activities, and Calista making road trips up to L.A. to parade them at Hollywood Celebrity Child Events, they just wanted to be still and chill with Pops. He allowed it.

"Pizza or wings for movie night?" he asked them.

"Both!" They shouted.

He'd already fed them their lunch and their movie session wasn't going to be until seven.

"I'm heading out for a little bit. I'll be over at the Washout down the way. Be back in an hour or so. Call me if something comes up."

The Washout was a local pub right across from the rollercoaster with great beer and even greater Mahi Mahi tacos. That's what he wanted for his lunch since the kids only wanted to eat Greek food which he ordered in for them earlier. A good artisanal beer, some tasty eats, and he would be set for Daddy time movie fun.

He set the alarm on the house and grabbed his keys and cell phone. Stuffing his wallet into his shorts pocket, and jamming slides on his feet, he headed out of the house through his garage. When he was about to step across the narrow side street, a slick coal-black Audi with dark tinted windows pulled up.

Shit.

Dana.

"Hi! Where are you sneaking off to?"

Dana stepped onto the sidewalk in front of his garage. His eyes darted back to make sure his kids weren't peeking down from any windows.

"Grabbing a bite to eat…"

His eyes trailed down the tight plum-colored mini halter dress she sported.

"Could you park down there?" he said.

Hopping into her car, he guided her in backing up two houses away. The great thing about living where he did, purposely, was that the other pricey houses around him were used as vacation rentals. They were a month out from summer vacation, so the other properties were empty.

It was heaven.

Peaceful.

"My kids are here this week."

"Oh, I thought they were gone this week."

"I had to switch up my schedule. I'm heading to Tokyo next weekend. I'm doing a commercial."

"You've been a busy boy these last few months."

"Pays to be popular, even in semi-retirement."

"Where were you headed?"

"A local spot."

"Oh, I'm sad now. We haven't been together in so long," she purred.

"Sorry I forgot to let you know the changes. Been busy."

Her long mauve-colored fingernails trailed up his face.

"I got all cute just for you."

He pushed a blonde strand of hair from her face. Dana pulled her fingers back and dragged then down to her chest. Pulling down her dress top, her augmented breasts popped out, the pale tan lines of the tiny bikini top she once wore outlined vividly. A real tan. Not the lazy paint job his wife started using.

"Dana…damn."

He checked the surroundings again to make sure there wasn't a wandering tourist. Dana's tinted windows gave them a bit of extra privacy on the empty street.

He reached over and plucked a pink nipple. She licked her burgundy painted lips and slipped a hand between his legs. The thin material of his beach shorts allowed her to feel his balls and his growing wood. He rested both hands on her tits and squeezed them as she stroked him down below.

"I won't be able to play with you then, huh baby?" Dana pouted, twisting up her lips for effect.

She had his dick standing at attention. He glanced down toward his house, then checked his cell. No messages from the kids.

"I only have time to grab a bite to eat at the Pub, and then it's back to my…oh shit…Dana…"

She fished his dick out of his shorts and he helped pull them down further as she took his growing length in her mouth. Dana reached between her legs and pulled down her black T-back panties. Her blonde head bobbed in his lap. He pulled her hair lifting her head up so he could watch her lips stretch around the head of his dick. She tickled his slit with her tongue.

"You like that dick in your mouth, huh? Being a nasty little bitch in these streets."

He thrust his hips up forcing his girth further in her mouth.

"Suck that shit. Fucking slut."

Pumping in and out of her mouth, her thin lips wrapped around him tight, he needed fast relief.

Erik pressed a small button on the side of the passenger seat and it silently slid back to give his legs more room.

"Let me give you something good," she whispered into his mouth as she kissed him.

She sucked on his tongue and he fumbled for his wallet.

Pulling out a condom, he carefully tore it open. Dana pulled off her dress entirely and climbed her petite frame onto his lap. Her waxed pussy was already dripping when he slipped two fingers inside of her to test how fast he could get up in her.

"You been ready, girl," he huffed.

"I've been thinking about you all day, Erik."

He fucked her silly, her hands clutching his shoulders for balance. Soon, he was lifting her up and down by her waist and hitting the back of her pussy hard enough to make her head hit the roof of her car. Erik had her mewling like a cat in heat. He came first, shouting in her ear and calling her filthy names until her release squeezed his dick in rapid pulses. Lifting her off of him, he tied off the condom and tossed it in her ashtray.

"Not there!" she squealed as she put her panties and dress back on.

"I can't take it with me, and I'm not taking it to my house," he complained.

She checked her make-up in the rearview mirror. Grabbing a tissue packet from her glove compartment, she wiped smudges of her eyeliner and dabbed her face to wipe away sweat. She put another coat of lipstick on while he checked his cell again.

"Let's go eat," she said.

They snuck out of the car and walked around the back houses until he felt they were far enough away to walk on the boardwalk. Within seven minutes they were at the Pub ordering Mahi Mahi tacos and beer. He paid cash and they sat outside to catch a cool breeze while they ate.

"Up for round two in the car when we go back?" she asked.

"Sounds fun, but the kids will be looking for me soon."

He sipped the last of his beer and threw crumpled napkins onto his empty plate.

"Those were delicious," she said.

She leaned over and kissed him on the lips. He noticed a few white male patrons staring at Dana. A few of the white women were ogling him too.

"Gotta go," he said checking his phone one more time.

He texted his children that he was on his way back. Deuce sent him a rolling eyes emoji. Erik downloaded a photo of the singer Prince from his first album cover, and sent it to Deuce with the caption, "This you?"

Five seconds later Deuce hit him with, "It just might be."

Erik laughed. Deuce could be a moody little brat sometimes, but the boy had a sense of humor.

"What's so funny?" Dana asked.

"Nothing. My son is being silly."

Dana stared at his face and tossed her long hair over one shoulder.

"Will I get to meet your children soon?"

Here we go.

"We're still adjusting to the new living arrangements."

"It's been a year already, Erik. Kids are really resilient and adapt to change easily."

"I know my own kids, Dana. It's still tough for them bouncing back and forth. I need more time. They need more time—"

"I was just asking about it. Not pressuring you. I'd like to be able to eat Mahi Mahi tacos with them in the future that's all."

"Drop it for now, okay? I'll let you know when we're ready."

Dana's lip curled in that way it did when she wanted to argue her point. He gave her a don't-try-it stare and she grabbed his hand and held it tight. He walked with her across the street to the parking lot of the small amusement area and they watched the wooden rollercoaster crank its way to the top of the first drop. Dana rested her head against his shoulder and he pulled her toward the boardwalk.

"Erik!"

He turned his head toward the main street and saw Sugar waving to him with his shortboard under her arm. She was across the street at a stoplight. When the light turned green, she hustled along with a crowd of beach visitors.

When she reached him, her eyes took in Dana. He saw the surprise in her eyes when she saw he wasn't with Calista. For some strange reason, he felt guilty for getting caught with his girlfriend. He was legally separated, but he felt a caul of shame come across his face. He didn't know if his shame was from being with another woman or being with another woman who happened to be white…again. He never cared before, but thinking about what he saw earlier in the day, how a young geeked out Sugar thought the world of him, how did she feel now seeing him with a woman who was not his wife? Did she think he was a lowdown cheater? At that moment he felt like the cliche famous Black guy with the stereotypical blonde blue-eyed Barbie dolls on his arm. Literally. Even Calista was a dirty blonde when she wasn't dying her hair every shade every two months. It felt weird to even consider any of those thoughts. Had Sugar been anything but Black, he would've felt nothing about it. Looking at his ardent fan in the face, it began to matter to him what she thought about his character.

"Hi. I brought your board back yesterday, but you weren't home and I didn't want to leave it outside in case someone stole it."

She looked so relax.

Soft cascading black hair that sat on her shoulders like they were ocean waves themselves. A black bikini top and loose swim shorts gave him the complete view of what her body had transformed into from her cherubic early days making a name for herself. Blue and black water socks covered her feet.

"I'm heading home now. I can take it with me."

"Cool. It is the shit! I took it up to La Jolla and I was tearing it up! Man, I dropped down in this massive barrel and this board had me sliding through like I was gliding on butter. It had me in the zone like…like whoa. For real! You did that shit!"

He took the board from her.

Erik could feel himself getting hyped by her words. Her fingers slid down the sides of her shorts and his eyes followed the movement.

He felt Dana's fingers slide up his arm and wrap around his bicep. Her nails dug into his skin and then she rubbed light circles on the muscle while pressing her hip into him.

"I'm Dana…you are?"

Dana flipped her hair and Sugar took a step back sizing the other woman up.

"Sugar."

"Sugar?" Dana repeated. A haughty laugh left her throat.

"Yeah, Sugar."

"That's unique," Dana said looking up at Erik's face.

"My parents taught me how to surf and when I got really good at it, my Dad said I moved across the water so sweet…azúcar. Like sugar. Got it?"

"Cute," Dana said.

Erik felt the tension between the women. Sugar talked to him as if Dana wasn't there. Not because she was being rude, but because she was caught up in the life. Dana didn't like being ignored. Set aside. Not the center of attention.

"The kids are waiting, Erik," Dana said pulling him back from Sugar.

His eyes glossed over Sugar's body again.

"Going in the water?" he asked.

"On my way to Coronado beach. A little bonfire action. Tell Marina I said hi. We should have some good waves tomorrow. Nice swells heading in. Thanks for letting me hold onto the board. It should be a best seller."

They stared at each other and he wanted to ask her questions about the shortboard. Sugar looked like she wanted to speak more herself, but then her eyes glanced over and peeped Dana's face.

"I'm out. Be cool," she said.

Sugar turned around and walked away.

"She knows your daughter?"

He sensed an accusatory tone in Dana's voice. Sugar really ruffled her feathers.

"She's her surf teacher. I loaned her this board to test it out for me."

"Oh."

Dana visibly relaxed as if a threat had been removed from her midst.

They headed back to her car and all Erik could think about was that in a different time and place, Sugar had put him on a pedestal. Somehow, he felt that he had fallen in her eyes.

He didn't like that feeling.


	5. BMO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine feels a little different about Erik...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Two updates on the same day!

"Break me off  
And gitchi gitchi yaya when the lights is out  
I'm summertime crushin', put that game on pause  
And do it how I like it, baby, nice and slow (Ooh)  
Break me off  
And gitchi gitchi yaya when the lights is out (Yeah)  
I'm summertime crushin', put that game on pause  
And do it how I like it, baby, nice and slow (Yeah, look, hey)"

Ari Lennox – "BMO"

All the girls helped Sabine, Asia, and Yolanda move the surf equipment to the far end of the beach.

A beach patrol truck stopped by their original section and lifeguards asked them to move because they expected large groups of people arriving early to beat the heat and didn't want board accidents. They ended up near Erik's house. Marina was thrilled. She knew how the waves broke on this end of the beach.

Every single girl showed up to attend surf camp and the parents who dropped them off were enthusiastic with the responses of their children to it after the first day. Three days in and the weather was poppin, the waves were perfect, and the girls had a blast. Marina didn't hold back on her talents. Her peers oohed and ahhed when she did some cute aerials with her personal board. She even assisted Yolanda and Asia in helping their small group who had difficulty learning to pop up on their boards. She demonstrated how to do it on the sand and cheered the others on when they finally got the hang of it. She was a natural teacher.

Something was in the air that day because all the girls had giggle fits and laughed so much together as they fell in the water or crashed into each other trying to catch the same wave. Sabine loved it. It made what she did feel like play and not work at all, which is what she wanted. During their snack break, they sat further back from the sand and on the grassy knolls near the boardwalk. Twenty loud girls under the age of thirteen.

They were so loud, that Erik came out of his house to investigate.

"What the hell is going on out here? I can't even rest with all this noise!"

The scowl he had on his face lifted when he saw all the girls staring at him with juice boxes in their hands with string cheese and bananas being consumed.

"Sorry, Daddy," Marina said through a mouthful of banana.

"Why are they down here?" Erik asked.

Sabine jumped up from the grass.

"We had to move for safety," she said.

"The construction guys are finally gone and I thought I could sleep in peace for once," he said rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes were pink and he had bags under them.

"We'll try to keep it down."

"Too late now, I'm up."

"Cheese, Daddy?" Marina said holding up an unopened packet.

"No thank you."

He wandered back into his house.

Asia and Yolanda stared at Sabine.

"You know who that was?" Asia said.

Yolanda stared at Marina.

"Killmonger lives here?!" Yolanda yelped.

Sabine's friends fan squee'd, and she nodded her head.

"Look at you being all cool around him!" Asia said, looking back at the tri-level.

"I read he moved to San Diego, but….wow, right here!" Asia said.

"I got to surf with him," Sabine said.

"Tell us everything," Yolanda said pulling Sabine away from the girls and some distance from Erik's house.

"I found out he was Marina's Dad a couple of days ago. I saw some new boards he made and he let me ride one of them. He came out there with me."

"And?" Yolanda said.

"He was a bully with me at first, and then he just did his thing, and I did mine. He is…he's still the shit out there."

"You seem very nonchalant about it. Did something happen?" Asia asked.

"He's married with a kid, that's what happened. I saw a ring on his finger," Yolanda quipped.

"Wait, if Marina is his daughter…"

"Then Calista is his wife!" Yolanda finished for Asia.

"He married that flaky doodle?"

"He must be going broke if her credit cards don't work," Asia said.

"No, he's not going broke. He cut off her money. I guess she spends too much."

Asia studied Sabine's face.

"Sugar, what is it?" she said.

"He let me test out a new shortboard that he made. When I gave it back to him over by the rollercoaster, he wasn't with his wife. I think he's cheating on Calista."

"Typical," Yolanda said.

"Well, what did you see exactly at the rollercoaster, she could've just been a friend," Asia said.

"She was up on him and letting me know he was hers," Sabine said.

"Maybe they're separated," Yolanda added.

"He's still wearing his wedding band. Men are quick to drop rings when they are out," Asia said with confidence.

"I think they're separated, but he looked really guilty when I saw him."

"He should've kept that hoe on the down-low if he didn't want to be caught in public," Asia said.

"I just feel icky about it. Marina is so sweet and I hate when kids get caught in the middle of shit."

Asia rubbed Sabine's shoulder.

"Looks like a little of the shine has gone out of our hero-worship, huh?"

"Just a little," Sabine said.

"Maybe so, but damn, that man looks scrumptious in person!" Yolanda said.

She gave Sabine a high five and they locked fingers together.

"We're done eating," Marina said.

Yolanda and Sabine stared at Erik's daughter and dropped their hands.

"We'll be over in a second," Sabine said.

Marina skipped back over to her little crew and sipped on another juice box.

"We are bad," Yolanda said.

Sabine saw Deuce ride up to the tri-level on a dirt bike. He carried a bag of tacos from a shop that she despised. Deuce stared over at all the girls lounging on the grass chattering away. Marina ran up to him.

"You bring me anything?" she asked.

"No," Deuce said pulling the bag away from her hands.

"Meanie," she said.

"That place has awful food," Sabine said.

"Who asked you?" Deuce said.

Smartass.

"Enjoy eating trash food. My Dad makes better. When you want to do better with your life choices, check out San Felipe's on Mission Boulevard," she snapped at him.

Deuce opened his bag, pulled out a burrito, and bit into it before riding off.

Walking back to their charges, Sabine led them all to clean up their trash and recycling.

###

"I have to go pee."

"Me too."

Sabine looked over at two of her students. Amy and Lisa.

They stood in front of Sabine doing the pee-pee dance.

She looked off in the distance. The nearest restrooms were far away, and the girls refused to urinate in the water.

"They can use the bathroom in my house," Marina said.

It was the closest place. Plus, Sabine didn't want the two girls to tell their parents that she allowed them to piss in their swimsuits.

"Okay, let's make it quick."

"We have to go too!"

Another girl ran up to them. Looking around, Sabine saw that she had eleven girls who needed to relieve themselves.

Marina led the way to the tri-level.

"There are two bathrooms down here, one there and there, and I can take some of you to the second floor," Marina said.

The girls scattered leaving trails of sand everywhere.

"Don't touch anything, just use the restroom and wash your hands!" Sabine called out.

She took a minute to look around in the kitchen for a broom and dustpan to clean up the mess the girls were making.

"Marina! What is going on?!"

Sabine heard Erik shouting on the floor above. She put away the broom and dustpan and walked up the wide spiral staircase. Several girls were standing around waiting to get into a bathroom. Erik was standing in front of Marina.

"They had to pee, Daddy—"

"Look at all this sand on the floor messing up the grain!"

"I forgot to have them wash their feet outside…"

"I have to go bad!" A girl cried out.

Marina ignored Erik and led several more girls to the third floor.

"Keep your dirty feet on that runner," Erik said to one girl who brushed sand from her feet.

"Hey, Mr. Stevens. Sorry about this. They really had to go and it was too far for them to walk to the public restroom," Sabine said.

Erik glanced at her.

"I'll clean up after them," she said.

"Don't worry about it. My housekeeper will take care of it tomorrow. Just make sure they don't grind their feet on the wood when they leave."

Erik turned and headed up to the third floor.

"What the hell?"

Deuce walked up the stairs glaring at the rambunctious line of girls. He saw Sabine.

"You must like being in our house a lot," he said before walking into a bedroom and slamming the door shut.

Sabine stared at his door. What a pill.

"Okay girls, if you are done go downstairs."

Sabine returned to the first floor and waited until all eleven girls and Marina returned. She counted heads a second time to be sure and then led them back out to their meet up area.

Asia reviewed what they learned for the day, Yolanda told them what to expect the next day, and Sabine made sure the correct child went home with the correct parent or guardian.

"I'll be back in a moment," Sabine said.

She made the walk back to the other side to retrieve her van. She drove around the side street and parked at the basketball court. The two other women and Marina helped lug their gear to the boardwalk.

"I'll have to drive this back down to the showers to clean these suits—"

"You can use the hose here."

They all turned to see Erik standing near his patio entrance.

"You sure?" Sabine asked.

Erik opened the gate and they brought the wetsuits and surfboards into the large space. Sabine mixed the wetsuit cleaner with the hose water in her big white bucket. Marina helped her wash the suits as Yolanda and Asia rinsed the boards.

Erik stayed out of their way.

They finished quickly and carried everything to Sabine's van. She was surprised to See Erik carrying two boards. He tied them with the other surfboards on top of her van rack. When he finished, he stood back checking out her VW.

"Nice ride. What year?" he asked.

"Seventy-two."

Asia and Yolanda kept staring at him.

"This is my friend Asia, and Yolanda. They run the camp with me."

He shook their hands. Yolanda was really scoping him hard.

"Thanks for helping us out. Sorry about the bathroom issue—"

"Don't worry about it," he said.

Marina hung onto Erik's arm and swung her right leg around.

"They had to pee bad," Marina said.

Deuce rode up on his bike again. He took a look at Sabine's van.

"Grandpa used to have a van like that," Deuce said. He seemed impressed.

"The camp is going well?" Erik asked.

"Better than we thought it would be, although the next time we do it, we'll make the groups smaller. We don't have enough equipment and suits for everyone, so it takes a little longer to get everyone out on the water. But we make it do what it do as my Mom says."

Sabine felt awkward talking to him while she could feel her friend's eyeballs all over both of them. Yolanda was still checking out his gold wedding band. Sabine couldn't help it, she glanced at it a few times herself. She felt bad for Calista.

"You learn as you go," he said.

"We'll probably have to stay down here for the rest of the time. It'll only be three more weeks and then we're done."

"You do well?" he asked Marina.

"Yeah, I even helped teach," Marina said.

"Look at you, little Miss Teacher."

Marina's face beamed.

"Have a good rest of the day," Erik said.

He walked off with Marina, swinging her hand before lifting her up onto his shoulders. Deuce followed behind them lazily cruising on his bike.

"That shouldn't even be sexy, but it is," Asia sighed.

"I know, a married cheater with two kids," Yolanda grumbled.

Yolanda turned to Sabine.

"Was it me, or did anyone else feel a certain vibe coming from him?"

"Like what?" Asia said.

"I dunno, like he wanted to linger…hang out. Like, if he didn't have those kids with him he'd sit in the van with us and smoke and talk shit," Yolanda said.

They piled into Sabine's van and she drove back over to the rollercoaster parking lot. Waving goodbye to her girlfriends, she headed over to her parent's house to hang up the wetsuits in their back yard.

###

Sabine was surprised to see Marina already sitting on the grassy knoll waiting for her at 6:30 a.m.

She was even more surprised to see five brand new Porta Pottys behind the girl, along with a stack of surfboards and various wetsuits. Yolanda and Asia arrived moments later, their eyes just as big as Sabine's.

"What…who…" Sabine touched the boards. Killmonger's stingray logo was etched into the bottom of the boards.

"My Dad got all this," Marina said.

Yolanda and Asia screamed and jumped around for a second.

Ten surfboards. Ten wetsuits. Porta Potty's to keep dirty feet out of his house.

Sabine turned toward Erik's house and saw him up on his third-floor balcony/deck. He leaned against the banister holding a coffee mug. He lifted it up to her. She waved at him. He waved for her to come to him.

"Be right back," she said to the others.

She walked across the boardwalk and stepped into his patio. Walking into his house, he met her in his living room.

"Thank you. Thank you so much!" She blurted out.

"The Porta Pottys will be there for the duration of your camp, and you can keep the boards and suits."

"What? You're giving me free boards and suits?"

"Advertisement for me. Do you have space to store the boards?"

"Yeah. I mean, I can split them up with Asia and Yolanda—"

"You can keep them here, all your boards. I have space in my garage. Racks and shit. That way you don't have to lug them around."

Sabine's mouth fell open. She was about to say something else, but then her eyes began to well up.

"Hey…Sugar…"

Erik stepped closer to her.

She waved her right hand and pressed it against her chest.

"I'm fine…I…that's so generous of you. We struggled just to get the little bit of equipment that we have, and we've been worried about not having enough, and the girls having more time in the water…"

She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes.

"I needed to make up for my bad behavior when we first met. I didn't make a good impression on you," he said.

"No, you didn't."

He laughed.

"My daughter is very happy. Happier than I've seen her in a long time. Thank you for that. Her Mom and I...we're going through some things and it's been hard on her the most. Deuce is older and understands a little better, but my baby girl…"

His forehead creased and his eyes looked stressed.

"I get it," she said.

He wiped a hand over the waves in his hair.

"The other day…that woman you saw me with...my kids don't know about her."

"Is that your girlfriend?"

"She's someone I've been seeing. Calista and I are separated. Legally. We've been living apart for a year."

"No plans to get back together?"

His eyes looked haunted by the question.

"Sorry. I'm prying. Forget I asked that."

"It's all good. I'm still sorting things out…we're still sorting things out as a family…"

"Listen. Marina is a great kid, and Deuce...the jury is still out on him."

Erik chuckled.

"He's slow to warm up, but he's a great kid like Marina," he said.

Her heart felt full from his gift.

"Time for me to get the program started."

"Sugar…you are a very good surfer. I was just being a jerk when I said you were just aight. You're more than that. I watched a few of your competitions online. You got what it takes. Keep working at it. Let me know when you go Pro."

Sabine lunged for him and threw her arms around his shoulders.

"Thank you!" she shouted.

He laughed and dropped his fingers on her lower back.

"You are very welcome."

Her face was so close to his face.

"Killmonger."

Her voice was breathy as she whispered the name that thrilled her for so long. His head dropped down and she could feel her heart beating as fast as his. She let her forehead rest against his. How many days and nights had she fantasized about surfing with him, talking to him, being near him to have any of his magic rub off on her?

Fuck it.

Sabine pressed her lips against his.

And he pressed back.


	6. Dr. Seuss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik feels a certain way about Sabine's kiss...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't even ask y'all. This story just keeps coming out quickly. I'ma roll with it. I'm really trying to update my "Blood Child" Blade Vampire fic too, but this story has got me....

"Not hard to say, but it's hard to do  
Easy for me, but it's hard for you  
You say you fly, but you never flew  
Not hard to say, but it's hard to do"

Tierra Whack—"Dr. Seuss"

He wasn't expecting her to kiss him.

When Sugar's arms wrapped around his neck, he thought she was giving him a hug of gratitude. He felt that surge of energy that he saw when he watched her video clip, and it made him laugh. Erik touched her back and her voice said his name in a way that made the hairs on the back of his neck raise. It was a seductive sound that caught him off guard, and when she pressed her soft full lips on his larger ones, he gave in willingly.

He licked the seam of her lips and she opened her mouth allowing him to slip his tongue inside to explore. Pulling her in tighter, wanting to feel her up against him more, he groaned into her mouth when he felt the warm round swelling of her breasts from her bikini top against his bare chest.

She pulled back suddenly and it made him tumble forward trying to stay up against her.

"That was wrong…that was so wrong…" she said.

She touched her lips and stared at his mouth before rushing out of the house.

He stood there tasting the ginger drink she had on her tongue mixed with the rich flavors of the imported East African coffee he had for breakfast. The ghost of her lips still lingered on his and he felt thunderstruck by the quiet urgency of the fleeting connection. He walked over to the entrance of his house and watched her jog over to the already loud excited voices of little girls ready to hit the waves. His own daughter helped carry the other boards from Sugar's van with Asia and Yolanda and pretty soon all the girls were using their towels to do leg stretches mixed with yoga moves.

After taking a few business calls and verifying his flight information for Tokyo, Erik pulled on a shirt and slipped on some flip flops. He walked outside to go watch the girls. Deuce was busy riding up and down the boardwalk with his skateboard and ignored Erik as he moved into a spot near the Porta Pottys where he could see the action, but still be far enough away to not be a distraction.

Sabine, Yolanda, and Asia had the girls playing some type of water game in the small waves with hula hoops. Divided into three groups, the girls held hands in a circle trying to move the hula hoop around by crawling through it and passing it along without letting go of their hands. Tons of squealing and excited shouts rang out, and he could hear his own daughter falling out in peals of laughter.

"Looks like they're having a lot of fun."

Calista eased up next to him, her long dark hair pulled into a severe pigtail. Big brown sunglasses covered her eyes, and she wore a light pink cotton summer dress that touched below her knees.

"Marina loves it," he said.

"I'm so glad I signed her up. I had a feeling she would enjoy it."

"She's making friends. Spent last night talking on the phone with a few of her new little buddies."

Calista pulled off her glasses.

"I'm not here to bother you. I just came to check out the camp. I didn't want to do it on the first day. Marina was already nervous, but some time has passed. Why are you standing way back here?"

"I don't want to intrude either."

"Hey Mom," Deuce said rolling up on his skateboard.

He kicked the back of it up with his foot and caught it in midair. Calista gave him a kiss on his forehead.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Watching Marina's surf camp," Erik said.

"Looks like you're spying."

"We're not spying. Just observing from afar," Calista said.

"Spying," Deuce said rolling off in the opposite direction.

Calista looked around.

"It does look like we're spying. I'm going over."

Calista slipped off her sandals and walked on the warming sand.

"Coming?"

"Nah, I'll stay back here."

Calista looked at his face.

"Are you okay? You look a little flustered."

"I'm fine."

She watched him closely.

"Go on over," he said waving his hand at her.

He wanted to go too, but he didn't want to face Sugar at that moment. Calista moved down to the shore and he returned to his house still feeling off-kilter from Sugar's kiss.

Erik did a bit of reading and surfing the net while fielding more calls for work. He spent some time sketching board designs until he grew hungry and heard Deuce down in the kitchen.

His son stacked thick cuts of turkey lunchmeat onto some wheat bread.

"Make me a double too," Erik said pouring himself a glass of water.

Deuce made their sandwiches and when he finished dressing them up with lettuce and tomatoes and honey mustard dressing, they ate at the gray marble kitchen island together. Erik saw his son's sketchbook sitting next to him.

"Do much today?" he asked.

Deuce nodded, wiping dressing from his lips with a napkin.

"Finishing up a downtown cityscape."

His boy was a talented artist and his latest specialty was sketching detailed black and white parts of San Diego as he envisioned them in the future. Erik checked his cell a few times before finishing his meal. Deuce cleaned up after them and Erik went back to his home office on the second floor.

When his cell alarm went off, he walked back downstairs to collect Marina. He saw Calista talking to Yolanda and Asia as Sugar hung back from them stacking boards with Marina. Eventually, there was nothing else to clean or stack and Sugar stepped next to Asia. Calista said a few words to Sugar and then gave Marina a big hug before leaving them. He was glad that she opted not to stop at the house to chat.

He watched Sugar speak to Marina and then his daughter came running back to the house suddenly all out of breath.

"Daddy! Daddy!"

"W'sup?"

She brushed wet hair back from her lazy eye and clutched onto his arm

"Sugar gave me a job! I get paid for helping out!"

"How much is she paying you?" Deuce asked.

"Ten dollars an hour!"

"Minimum wage is twelve dollars an hour," Deuce said.

Marina's face looked confused.

"That's not fair, huh?" she said.

"Go tell her you want the minimum or no deal," Deuce encouraged.

"Should I Daddy?"

"Go get your paper, baby girl."

Marina ran back outside and Erik watched her with Deuce at the window next to him. A minute later she came running back.

"She's going to pay me twelve dollars and fifty cents," Marina said.

Deuce nodded his head.

"Not bad," he said.

"Not bad? She got a job before you," Erik said.

"Yeah. I can contribute to the household," Marina said with authority.

"That's right baby girl."

"Dad, you're rich. We don't have to contribute anything," Deuce said rolling his eyes.

"Good work on getting your first paid gig!" Erik said.

They linked their right pinky fingers together and snapped their fingers after.

"Sugar said I'm always there early and help out so much that I should get paid."

Marina ran for the stairs.

"Where you going?" he asked.

"I gotta find what to wear for work tomorrow. I have to look professional."

"Don't you have to finish helping them?" Erik asked.

"She said I could have a vacation today. They need you to open the garage."

"Deuce, open the garage, I'm going to help bring the boards around," Erik said.

Yolanda and Asia rinsed the boards, as Sugar took care of the wetsuits. When she saw his face, she looked away quickly. He guided Yolanda and Asia around the side of the property to his three-car garage space.

"Just hang them and stack what you can over here," he said.

When they were done, he offered them drinks.

"Sure, thanks!" Yolanda said.

They followed him into the house through the garage and their eyes grew big when they took in his home. Asia waved for Sugar to join them inside, but she was hesitant. Yolanda walked out and pulled her inside. She refused to make eye contact with him but accepted a large glass of ice-cold lemonade from him.

Yolanda and Asia kept looking around like they wanted a tour. He wasn't going to give them one. When they were refreshed and cooled from his air conditioning, Sugar slid off the island barstool.

"Time to go," she said jerking her head at Yolanda and Asia.

Marina ran down the stairs.

"How does this look?" she said, modeling a powder blue tankini and matching swim shorts.

"You look good," Sugar said.

"I'm trying to match your t-shirt," she said.

"I'll bring you a t-shirt," Asia said.

Marina looked like she was over the moon.

"I'll be out there at six."

"You don't have to be out there that early. Since we're keeping the boards here, six forty-five is good," Sugar said.

Marina nodded.

"We'll go stack up the suits," Asia said.

Yolanda followed her out.

Marina ran back upstairs. Deuce had the TV in the family room up loud.

Sugar finally faced him.

"I was inappropriate earlier."

"Don't worry about it. You were caught up in the excitement of getting free shit."

He walked over to his fridge to make her feel like it wasn't a big deal to him. She seemed so uptight. Rigid.

"Thanks for giving Marina a job. She's stoked about it."

Sugar's face relaxed.

"She's a hard little worker. I keep telling her she doesn't have to do anything, but she won't listen."

"That's her thing. She likes helping. It makes her feel like she's a part of things, and it also helps her to focus better on what is happening around her—"

"Her processing?"

"Yeah. Some tips for you…only give her a few instructions at a time. Too many overwhelm her and she gets anxious. Have her repeat things back to you if she looks confused."

"She's been doing well. I haven't witnessed anything out of the ordinary."

"That's good. That means that you naturally do things that help her stay focused."

Yolanda and Asia returned to the front door.

"We're ready," Asia said.

Sugar glanced over at him.

"Thanks for everything again," she said.

She left the house and he let out a long exhale.

###

Tokyo ended up feeling like a vacation.

He filmed the commercial and flew back home to a quiet house. The kids were with Calista and he could let loose. He dressed up in tangerine pants with a coconut white dress shirt with the new egg white Hiro Yanagimachi shoes he bought while in Japan. Hopping into his white Acura NSX, he drove up to Del Mar to have dinner with Dana in a high-end restaurant that Erik frequented that knew how to be discreet when he stepped out. The owner was a friend, and Erik felt comfortable in his private booth seating in a VIP section with Dana.

She was a naughty girl that night, playing with his dick under the table during dessert. She was feisty in the car, but he kept her calm by palming her warm mound as he drove her back to her condo.

"Tell me all about the shoot," she said as they sipped white wine on her couch.

Her fingers ran up and down his chest.

"Not much to tell. I didn't spend that long filming. Did a little surfing afterward, took in some sights…"

Her eyes watched his, but she was horny for him, her bottom wiggling on the couch as he spoke.

"Are you even listening to me?" he asked.

"I am."

She kissed his cheek and nibbled on his ear, her hand pawing at his crotch. The wine made him slow to get aroused by her. He tilted up her chin to kiss her and then stopped. His mind wandered and he tried to focus back on the Dana. He found it difficult.

Staring at her thin lips covered in a burgundy matte lipstick, he felt the white wine warming up his body. He kissed Dana softly, and she sighed in his mouth. He pulled back and her lips parted, ready for more kisses.

It was different. The feel of her mouth. Different in a way he hadn't felt for a long time.

Erik looked at Dana, but his thoughts were on Sugar's mouth. The plump softness that was unhurried and made his mouth moist for more of her was so far removed from the painted slash of red that gaped open for him now. When he slipped his tongue in Dana's mouth, she allowed her tongue to tangle with his, but he remembered how Sugar sucked on it. Teased the tip before wrapping those lush lips around it and…

His dick plumped up. Dana rubbed it trying to coax it to the firmness she wanted, and thinking of Sugar sucking on his length made him grow fast and firm. He unfastened his pants and Dana helped him pull out his dick. She dropped to her knees and gobbled up his erection. He felt his mind and body going in two different directions.

He stood up and let his designer pants drop around his thighs. Dana sucked all along the sides of his dick and stroked him, her eyes watching him as she juggled his nuts in her mouth. Erik grabbed his dick and violently stroked it, pressing the spongy tip against Dana's face.

"Keep sucking my balls," he demanded.

Dana lowered her face and did what she was told to do.

He fisted himself just under his frenulum and tried his best to center Dana, but Sugar's mouth and the pressing of her breasts into his chest had him thinking desperate erotic thoughts. How easy it would've been to pluck loose the strings of that black bikini top. What did her tan lines look like? How big were her nipples? Would her soft, brown, peach-sized tits look delicious if he came all over them with his white-hot jizz?

He groaned then. Threw his head back and pounded his fist down to his slick balls that Dana kissed and licked.

Killmonger.

Dammit. The way she said his name before she came at him with those puffy lips thrilled him.

He felt the build-up of semen at the base of his dick now.

Dana moved her head in position. She knew he liked to cum hard on a pretty face.

But the only face he could see was Sugar's.

Thinking of her body out on the water took Erik to another level. Watching her paddle away from him to catch a wave, that tight round ass of hers in those lose swim shorts teasing his vision. She could probably ride dick just as good as she rode a wave. But that mouth of hers-

"Oh fuck…oh fuck…!" he shouted.

"Yes, baby!" Dana said sticking out her tongue.

Erik beat his dick against Dana's cheek until long ropes of cum spilled out of his slit. He kept spurting until her entire face was covered in milky white semen that matched his shirt. His legs shook and he sat down quickly before losing his balance from the force of his release. Dana wiped his ejaculate from her eyes and licked some with her tongue.

"Baby, you missed me so much," she said.

The need to get up out of there overwhelmed him. He just wanted to be in his own house. Alone. He quickly pulled up his pants. Dana looked confused.

"This jet lag is fucking with me. I'ma go home and get some sleep—"

"You can sleep here—"

"Nah, I…the kids are coming back in the morning. Calista has a thing she has to do and I have to keep them…"

The lies rattled out easily.

Dana was hurt, but he just couldn't stay there. He felt suffocated in her space.

"I'll call you tomorrow. We'll do something special later. I need to rest, for the kids…"

He left her on her knees with a face full of his cum.

###

He walked onto the beach in front of his home wearing his fancy clothes and expensive shoes. The moon was waning and the sliver of moonlight bounced off the night time waves. He listened to the crashing of the surf and concentrated on the glowing foamy backwash as it slithered along the wet sand and back into the ocean.

The vastness always calmed him. There was so much hidden beneath those waters he skimmed across nearly every day with a flimsy piece of fiberglass that separated him from the eternal primordial waters. They seemed even more powerful at night. When the blue liquid became black without the sun, Erik felt like he could speak to God then.

Something was happening to him. Something that was sparked with a kiss from a woman who just rolled into his life like the black waves rolling before him. His life was already a feverish mess and he was barely holding it together for his kids. He had no respite except for these waters.

The fragile truce he had with his wife was tenuous at best. But something told him in his gut that it was about to change.

Because of her.

Sugar.


	7. Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine graduates and her parents throw a party...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? A Chapter a day? What is happening? I don't know how much longer I can keep going at this pace. I'll roll with it!

"What is it you're waiting for  
It's time to open up your eyes and see  
See, see, see  
You are what you're waiting for  
Just open up your eyes  
It's time to see  
See, see, see…"

Madison McFerrin— "Try"

"Oh my God, this was a bad idea!" Asia shouted.

Sabine watched Yolanda fall over her longboard, her black graduation gown billowing around her in the water.

"Don't let your stole fall off!" Sabine screamed before she fell over next to Asia. They all clung to their blue and gold-trimmed stoles.

"Quick! Paddle back out so I can get more pictures!" Cedro yelled, frantically waving his hands to get them to move.

The three newly graduated women paddled back out into the cool waters of Scripps Beach. Cedro wanted to get a shot of the Scripps Pier in the pictures he took, but the waves north of the landmark were choppy and they kept falling.

Finally, after ten minutes of trying, the waves smoothed out, and Sabine tried to show off on her longboard.

"You are so stupid!" Asia shouted.

Riding her board in a handstand, Sabine kicked her legs in the air before dropping down tangled up in her soaked graduation robe.

"Be careful, Sugar!"

Belinda stood behind Cedro, holding her hands above her eyes to block out the sun. Her mother's new brown twists made her look like a young college graduate herself. Cedro took a few more shots of them on the sand holding their boards before he was satisfied that he had enough pictures. Asia stared wistfully at the water.

"We should catch a few more waves."

Pulling off their dripping robes, Sabine and the others revealed their swimsuits underneath.

"We have people waiting at the restaurant. We have to go now!" Cedro said.

Sabine's Dad wanted to have a celebration at the taqueria. Relatives came down from Carson and several came up from San Felipe Mexico to celebrate. Not everyone could attend the actual graduation at UCSD, so Cedro wanted to make up for it by having the girls re-enact it at the shop for everyone with tons of food to eat. Her mother wanted to have the gathering at their house, but Papi wanted his customers to be part of the celebration too so they could see how he had a daughter with a science degree with a potential internship at Scripps Institute in the Fall.

Sabine was gunning for her first full time, post-graduation pro competition.

She had stressed over the years that she had waited too late to go pro full time. Most of the best surfers in the world turned pro at sixteen or seventeen, but she had lost the battle of quitting school at sixteen by promising her folks that school would come first. Waiting so long to go all out cost her advantages. For one, qualifying with enough points in the professional surf world to be invited to the major competitions that counted. She had won plenty of competitions and placed high in important amateur ones in her youth, but being allowed to compete in qualifying spots and earning the points and placement to attract sponsors and huge endorsement deals were fleeting for her. She had earned the right to surf as a professional at the age of eighteen, but she never had enough money or time off from school to travel the world and hit a full professional year-long circuit.

She was behind the curve and had to kick it into high gear now that UCSD was done and she could hand Mom and Papi a hard-earned university diploma. The surf camp money she earned would help pay for her flight and lodging in July when she competed in a World Qualifying Series in the Nias Pro in Indonesia. Hopefully, she could attract some sponsors to help get to the rest of the qualifying matches across the globe. It was like playing in the minor leagues of baseball waiting to make it to the big leagues. Luckily, the next WQS was in Huntington Beach, California, a quick two-hour drive from San Diego if the traffic was good. It would be grueling. If she didn't earn enough points within the next two years, there was no way she would ever be invited to participate in the World Championship Tour. Younger women pros were being churned out every year. And those young guns were beasts. Highly-paid and very sponsored beasts.

All Sabine could do was train every day at the gym as she had been doing, surf twice a day every day, and earn money wherever she could to cover fees, travel, food, lodging, and any other expenses that accrued overseas. She'd stretched her budget for two years by scrimping and saving, living on and off at her parent's house, sleeping on friend's couches, or parking her van at camp spots whenever she made road trips to surf up and down the coast between classes, with occasional splurges to compete in other countries. She was lean and hungry for a chance to surf with the best of the best.

"Mija, I am so proud of you."

Cedro gave Sabine a big hug and her mother joined in giving her a human sandwich smothering. Using towels to hide their bodies, she and her friends changed into dry summer dresses and strap on sandals. There was no time to shower and they didn't care. She picked up her board and followed her parents to where they had parked their red SUV behind her van. Yolanda and Asia put their boards in her VW and they followed Papi to the taco shop.

The taqueria was jam-packed with family, friends, and loyal customers. Sabine felt like a star as people called out "Sugar!"

Yolanda and Asia's families were there too, and the food came out of the kitchen freshly prepared and piping hot.

Sabine posted up at a wall booth where she could see everyone coming into the restaurant. She sipped on orange soda and stuffed her face with diablo shrimp tacos, and the hot peppers burned her mouth the way she liked. Her mother kept touching her hand and wiping her eyes with happy tears.

"Mommy," Sabine would whisper giving her mother kisses on her wet cheeks.

"I'm so happy," Belinda said touching Sabine's hair.

"I got next."

Sabine's brother Robert sat across from her. He handed their mother a napkin to dry the tears streaking her face and ruining her mascara.

"I'll be crying when that happens too," Belinda said.

"You better," he said.

Sabine reached across the table and held her brother's hand. He had Papi's dashing dark brown eyes, and thick glossy black hair, that hung in curly ringlets to his back. He had their maternal grandfather's rich golden-brown skin, and he towered over everyone in their family at six feet three inches. Papi was six feet, and Mom was only five feet five inches. Sabine was five foot ten inches and they had to endure Robert towering over all of them by the time he was sixteen. He was nineteen now, and she swore that he had added another inch or two. Papi called him his giant Aztec Prince. Robert was just a tall Afrolatinx version of their father. Sabine had the same dark eyes and thick eyebrows like them, and her bee-stung lips favored theirs whenever they pouted. No wonder so many people thought she was Papi's blood.

Sabine gave her cousin Leticia from Baja a hug. Spanish and Black vernacular slang flew fast and furious throughout the restaurant. Sabine mingled and then went to help the kitchen keep track of food. Papi had set up a free buffet for the celebration, but customers who wanted menu items had to order from the counter and eat their food on a separate side of the restaurant. Robert handed her a Pacifico beer and basket of fresh tortilla chips to go with the spicy guacamole she was snacking on. She heard her father give a loud grito yell and Sabine grinned from ear to ear. He worked so hard to run a successful business and take care of her mother and brother. Six days a week he worked non-stop, and on this day, he was giving away free food and hugs because of her.

The lip of the beer bottle felt good to her as the old air conditioner pretended to cool everyone. One side of the restaurant had a huge mural map of Baja California and California that covered the entire wall. There were little drawings of famous surf spots along an imaginary road trip with a jeep. On another wall were pictures of their family surfing and spending time in San Felipe where Cedro's extended family lived. Another wall had pictures of Sabine and Robert at various junior surfing competitions winning awards and certificates. It was a comfort food type of place that customers always felt welcome in. Many of her father's employee's had been working there for years.

She glanced over at Robert. He had three more years at UCSD, an expensive school for their family. Having one child get through it was a struggle, having another one there back to back was tough. She worried about her father working too hard and keeping long hours at the taqueria to make the money he needed to pay for all their needs. He refused to allow their mother to work. She had high blood pressure from working several years as an accountant for several companies. Papi had her do the taqueria's books and work a few hours there a week when she wanted and that was it. He coddled their mother and made sure she lacked for nothing. Her Mom was happy and her health improved once she stopped working for high-stress white folks.

The beer messed with her focus and she drank some water to clear her head. A kid with a man bun stood over by the counter. Sabine squinted then walked over to see if it was who she thought it was.

Deuce.

"So," she slurred at Erik's son, "you finally dragged your tasteless ass over to my place."

"Are you drunk?" he asked, his light brown eyes showing disdain.

"I'm celebrating. I just graduated from UCSD."

"And?"

"That's a big deal."

"To you."

"You are such an ass."

"Takes one to know one."

Sabine's mouth dropped open and he turned his head and looked up at all the color photos of food on the wall menu.

"Can I get some service or what?" Deuce said.

Papi's staff were busy refilling buffet items and serving regular customers not partaking of the buffet of Spanish rice, tacos, enchiladas, and Baja style burritos.

Belinda sauntered past carrying a tray of condiments.

"Have you been helped yet?" she asked.

"Nope."

"Sabine, can you give this to your father?"

"I can help him, Mom," Sabine said.

She walked to the back of the kitchen and scrubbed her hands clean. Stepping back behind the register, she glared at Deuce.

"Whatchu want?"

"Better customer service."

"Boy, tell me what you want to eat."

Deuce looked all over the menu.

"What's good here?"

"What do you feel like eating?"

"A burrito and a…what's a taco de pescado?"

"You've never had a fish taco before?"

"That sounds nasty. I thought it was like a carne asada taco."

"Carne asada is carne asada. Ain't no fish in beef."

"Is it good?"

"We make the best this side of the border."

"I'll get a carne asada burrito, and two chicken tacos, and…what's that?"

One of the staff walked past carrying a plate of diablo shrimp tacos. His nose was enticed by the rich spicy odors.

"Shrimp tacos. Can you handle hot stuff? It has a kick."

"Yeah."

"Then get it. How many do you want?"

"Two."

"Okay, one carne asada burrito, two chicken tacos, and two diablo shrimp tacos. Anything else?"

"A coke."

Sabine turned her head toward the head cook in the back.

"Cesar, uno carne asada burrito, dos tacos de pollo, y dos camarón diablo. You can get your coke over there."

Sabine handed Deuce a clear plastic cup.

"Straws are over there too…Tió Lalo! "

Sabine ran from behind the register and hugged her Uncle from San Felipe who arrived late. Guiding her elder Uncle Lalo to her father, she joined up with Asia and their family to take more pictures with her own mother and brother. Working the room, she felt giddy and happy. School was fucking done. She was free. She snagged another beer from the restaurant fridge and enjoyed the cold on her tongue.

The shop grew more crowded with the early evening beach crowd. She noticed Deuce sitting at a small table waiting for his food. She went to the front counter and picked up his tray. He must've missed the part about picking up his order.

"Here you go," she said placing it in front of him.

His face scrunched up.

"What?" she said looking at the food. It was hot, looked delicious, and was ready to be enjoyed.

"It's small."

"What's small?"

He picked up the burrito.

"Roberto's has a carne asada the size of an arm. And these tiny tacos…this is supposed to fill me up?"

"We serve Baja style street food. That's the size it comes."

"It better be good."

"My Dad's food is the shit little boy."

"The shit, or shitty?"

"Eat."

She left him alone.

Fifteen minutes later, she saw him back at the register. She walked back to him.

"So?"

He had a sheepish expression on his face. She looked over at his tray back on his table. The bitch was cleaned out. Not a scrap of anything left on his plate.

"Good?"

"I'm back getting more. What does that tell you?

"Naw, I want to hear you tell me it's good."

Sabine held her hand to her ear and turned it toward Deuce.

"It's good," he grumbled.

He ordered the same exact thing.

When the cashier asked for his money, Deuce reached for his pocket. His face looked worried.

"I don't have my wallet," he said.

"Wait, you didn't pay for your first order," Sabine said.

Cedro came over.

"What's going on?"

"I forgot to have him pay when I took his order, Uncle Lalo came in and I got distracted. You owe us nineteen dollars and seventy-five cents."

Deuce's eyes looked full of lowkey panic.

"I left my wallet at home," he said.

"You ate my food and you can't pay for it?" Cedro said with an incredulous look on his face.

"I'll call my Dad," he said reaching in his other pocket. Another look of panic.

"I don't have my phone."

"This is a problem," Cedro said.

Deuce's new tray of food was placed in front of him on the counter. Sabine could practically see the boy salivating over the tasty plate.

Sabine pulled out her cell.

"Give me your Dad's number," she said.

Relief spread on Deuce's face. Sabine typed in the number he gave her and waited. Seconds later she realized she was calling Killmonger.

No one answered and his voicemail was full.

"No answer."

She tried again.

"His voicemail is full so I can't leave a message. Is he home?"

"He's out on the bar strip with some friends."

"Where's Marina?"

Deuce's eyes narrowed.

"Why would you ask about her?"

"If your Dad is out with friends, whose watching Marina?"

"She's at the movies with some of those surf girls from your camp."

Sabine was actually happy to hear that.

"How do you plan on paying for all this food?" Cedro asked.

Deuce looked at Cedro, noticed his tats, and the no-nonsense expression on his face. Sabine handed him the tray.

"Go eat. I'll try your Dad again in a few minutes—"

"He might dine and dash—"

"I know where he lives, Papi. If he runs, I'll walk over to his house."

"I can afford the food," Deuce said with more disdain in his voice.

"I don't see no money in my hand," Cedro quipped.

Sabine tried to hide the smile on her face.

"It's an honest mistake. I left my house without my stuff."

"Go eat. She'll make the call in a few."

Deuce took the food and went back to his seat. He ate the shrimp tacos and licked every bit of sauce that dripped down his fingers.

"You know him well?" Cedro asked.

"His Dad is Erik Stevens."

"Erik…Killmonger? No shit?"

"Hey!" Belinda shouted from the soda bar, "Children are here," she said.

"Sorry, Mami," Cedro said.

Sabine tried the number again. Still no answer.

Deuce finished his meal and sat quietly in his seat.

"Here, I texted him and told him the sitch and where you are. Hold onto my phone in case he calls back."

She didn't want to speak to him herself.

More people. Hugs. Kisses. More picture-taking.

Sabine kept checking on Deuce, but he sat there patiently waiting for his Dad to call. Cedro walked over to the boy carrying an apron and an empty brown bin.

"Here. You might as well work off your belly."

"Work?" Deuce said.

Cedro handed him rubber gloves and the bin.

"Start bussing tables. Collect dirty dishes and cups and take them to that guy over there."

Cedro pointed to a Black man wearing a hairnet and thick yellow gloves peeking out from the kitchen door. Bernard, the dishwasher.

"You're breaking child labor laws," Deuce whined.

"You ate food that you didn't pay for—"

"But my Dad will pay for it—"

"Your Dad is not here, and there are dishes that need to be collected and cleaned. Work for two hours and you have paid off your debt."

Deuce's lips pressed together tight. He looked at Sabine's cell.

"It's easy, Deuce. Just collect and hand it over to Bernard. I used to do it," Sabine said.

She took her phone away from him.

With a scowl on his face, Deuce wrapped the apron around his waist and pulled on the gloves. Grabbing the brown dish bin, he looked around the space.

"Where do I start?"

"The tables that don't have people, but have a stack of empty dishes."

Deuce went to the far end of the restaurant and began collecting cups and plates.

"Niño rico?" Cedro said.

"Very," Sabine said.

"A solid bit of work never hurt the one percent."

Sabine enjoyed watching Deuce schlep around collecting dirty dishes. Soon enough she forgot about him and spent time with her Step-grandmother and cousins from Carson.

"Sugar! Baby, come here for a minute!"

Cedro waved to her and she walked over to him in front of the cash registers.

"Atención por favor, everyone please. Shh, be still. I need to say something," Cedro said.

Everyone in the restaurant turned toward them. Sabine stood next to her father as he held her hand. Deuce stood closest to them holding an empty bin and watching Sabine's face. Still no call from his Dad.

She made up her mind to cover his meal until…

Erik walked into the restaurant with two men, a gorgeous Black man with a ripped body visible through his Patagonia short-sleeve shirt, and a white man with an equally sculpted body. Erik looked just as delicious in a scooped neck t-shirt. He spotted Deuce, but when he saw how everyone was standing, he stood near the entrance with his friends.

Sabine felt the back of her knees sweat seeing him there. She tried not to look in his direction, but her mother was standing next to him with her brother and Step-grandmother, Lila. Praying her father's speech would be short and sweet, Sabine turned to Cedro.

Cedro looked deep into her eyes, and she could see tears welling up in his. That's all it took for her to start feeling pinpricks trying to squeeze from her eyes. She inhaled deep and squeezed her father's hand.

"Te amo con todo mi corazón—"

"I know Papi—"

"You have done everything we have asked you to do. Which was simple. Be kind. Help your fellow man. Respect the earth, especially the ocean. We also told you that your education was very important."

Cedro looked out at everyone and cleared his throat.

"When my daughter was sixteen, we had the one and only fight we've ever had as a family. Remember, babe?"

Belinda nodded her head and Sabine saw her mother hold her hand by her lips. Her fingers trembled.

"Azúcar…my little Sugar lump, she wanted to start a professional career. Leave school. Surf. And we said no—"

"They sure did," Sabine said rolling her neck.

Everyone laughed. Sabine caught Deuce with a smirk on his mouth watching her.

"It's a tough life trying to be a Pro. I know, I tried. It's brutal. Even tougher when you have a young family. I told Sugar that she needed to get her degree. Have something in her pocket in case things don't pan out."

Belinda stepped over to her and flanked Sabine's other side.

"We made a deal. Finish school and she could do whatever she wanted. She wants to go pro, and we give her our blessing, and…."

Cedro held out his hand. Belinda placed an envelope in it.

"We have been saving a little something with the help of your family and friends. We don't want you to struggle after finishing school. We want you to focus on training and competing for your qualifications. We want you to have this."

He gave Sabine the envelope.

"Mom?"

"Open it," Belinda said.

Sabine flipped open the unsealed flap. Her eyes squeezed shut and she covered her mouth.

"What is it?!" Deuce shouted.

"Deuce, chill," Erik said.

Sabine's eyes caught his and Erik looked intrigued. Sabine pulled out her parent's personal check with the dolphins on it that she made them get when she was ten years old.

Eight thousand dollars.

"This should help you through December, sweetheart," Belinda said.

Sabine embraced her mother and Belinda's warm arms rocked her and she cried like she was five again.

All the things they needed for themselves and her brother, and they were still being the wind under her wings. As always.

"Make the life you want, Mija. We got your back," Cedro said.

Sabine nodded and wiped tears from her cheeks. Hugging her Dad, she couldn't even find the words to speak. Papi knew when she needed time to compose herself, so he didn't ask her to talk.

"Okay, eat up, drink up…soda only!" Cedro shouted.

Robert gave her a hug and she thanked everyone as they took turns to speak to her as she gathered herself. She tucked the check into her fanny pack and went to the soda bar to get some ice water. Turning around she saw her father talking to Erik. Deuce looked so grateful.

Sabine wandered over.

"Thanks for texting me. I didn't know my voicemail was jammed up," Erik said.

"Just pay them," Deuce huffed, pulling off the apron.

"Wait a minute. How much more time does he have on the clock?"

"Another hour," Sabine said.

"I think you should finish working. Marina has a job. Maybe it's time you had one too."

"Dad! C'mon! For real, just pay them so we can go!"

Erik stood with his friends and checked out the menu on the wall.

"Y'all hungry?"

"Starvin' like Marvin," The Black guy said. The white guy nodded.

"Yo, Deuce…you wanna work another two hours and pay for our food?" Erik teased.

"Dad—"

"Finish your work, boy."

Sabine snorted. Erik winked at her.

Deuce watched Erik for a full five minutes as he ordered for himself and his friends. When he saw that Erik was not going to save him, he stomped his foot and grabbed the brown dish bin walking away while mumbling under his breath.

"He'll get over it," Erik said.

A male cashier took their order and Sabine walked away from him and sat down near her mother. Resting her head on Belinda's shoulder, she finished her soda and placed it on the table.

Deuce walked by and snatched it up, tossing it into the bin.

"I abhor you," he said.

"You ain't getting no tip then with that attitude," she snapped back at him.

"Wait, I get tips?"

Belinda cackled and Sabine shooed him away.

"He's so annoying, Mom."

"He reminds me of you."

"Tuh!"

Sabine held onto her mother's arm and watched Erik and his friends eat the best shrimp tacos North of Tijuana. When their eyes met again, he tilted his bottle of Tecate Lager at her. Her cell phone vibrated on the table.

"When you have time, come talk to me about qualifying for the WCT."


	8. John Redcorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik finds that Sugar's attentions are elsewhere...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so devastated by the news of Chadwick Boseman passing. Been crying for hours now.  
> The Black Panther Fandom has become holy ground.  
> May he Rest in Power.

"I'm alone, every night alone  
Why am I alone? I wanna know that you want me, too  
Am I wrong? Tell me that I'm wrong  
Tell me I deserve all the pain that you put me through, oh

You don't have to bring me good news, babe  
I just wanna be there when you choose, babe"

John Redcorn – "Sir"

"It'll be good to see you back out there, man. The scene has been boring without you."

Erik watched his best buddy Colin Youngblood order another beer as they sat in a random bar on the boardwalk. Colin's words sunk in, and Erik had to admit to himself, he missed being out on the circuit. He loved to travel, loved to move at a fast pace outside of the home, but his personal life was holding him back. He gave up full-time surfing to be there for Deuce and Marina as a full-time Dad.

Taking more of a hands-on approach with his children and even the surfboard company he partnered with, brought him satisfaction. Deuce was doing well at La Jolla Country Day School and even Marina was showing improvement there before it ended for the summer recess.

Erik missed the camaraderie of being on the line with other surfers, connecting with the ocean, waiting patiently for that one great wave to roll through, and making that charge to catch it and ride the whirlwind of liquid power. It was a love that he could never get across to Calista when he surfed every day and trained with Bruce, and traveled every few weeks out of the country with Colin. She loved the beach and loved looking beautiful at big public events, and rubbing shoulders with the celebrities he ran into at many social gatherings. But she hated his discipline and commitment to the sport. It took attention away from her. She wanted all the razzle-dazzle he provided but hated the time he had to take away from her to make that life happen.

His popularity as one of the few Black surfers to gain notoriety also helped. He was known as an aggressive Bad Boy on the circuit, cool to party with, and party he did, but also a hardass on other surfers who got in his way when he competed. His popularity soared more when he stole the glory from a golden boy NoCal surfer named Todd Danvers more than ten years ago. At a final qualifying heat at the Billabong Pipe Masters in Oahu, Hawaii, Erik outperformed his most vocal surf critic. Danvers ran his mouth in greasy ways about Erik publicly stating that Erik made the sport look bad by his public persona. Accused of being too flashy on his board (when other white boys were celebrated for the same thing and glorified as innovators and trendsetters), too much of a braggart (for telling other surfers on his level that they better bring their A-Game when they went up against him, something Danvers himself was known to do), and also using his sex appeal to make money instead of focusing on surfing and not celebrity. Up until Erik hit the scene, Danvers had been the face of American surfing. Dirty blonde, hazel eyes, and the sun-bronzed skin of the cliché surfer "look", Danvers was a beloved figure in the sport, often touted as the American Ambassador of U.S. surfing.

And then Erik came along.

Oakland swag. Gold and platinum grills on his teeth while he surfed. Cuban links and bad bitches on him as he posted up at A-list parties in New York, L.A., and Europe. He made surfing grimy and sexy and more provocative than it had ever been. Took it away from the beach and brought it to the Hollywood party scene. He hung with another Brazilian Bad Boy surf crowd, that were dominating the sport now. This upset Danvers because the focus in popular surfing media and circles all went to Erik and his wild international crew, instead of Danvers himself.

More people showed up at surfing events because of Erik appearing at competitions. Folks who had never watched or took an interest in surfing before were flocking to big meets, especially in California. And especially the women who were blowing him up all over social media. Tons of pictures of him were posted, always the shirtless ones of him doing his thing on the beach. Another nude photo was taken of him while he was sunbathing in Spain, and it circled around driving Calista nuts. People paid more attention to his naked body instead of hers lying right next to him.

Erik was a rock star and started modeling selective gear and products to go with his lifestyle. Erik suspected that Danvers didn't like him reaching Black folks in huge numbers, and they began showing up to events, changing the culture a little bit. A Polynesian sport co-opted and exploited by white people, was now being embraced and fucked with more heavily by a new wave of Black talent. A showdown between the two men was inevitable, and when they were paired up for a heat, Erik was prepared to fuck up the man's life.

And he did.

Danvers could barely take off after a wave before Erik was already dropping down a wall of water, yoking up each and every wave that dared cross his path. Danvers, the number one ranked surfer at the time compared to Erik's ninth place, was expected to obliterate all comers. Every other heat had him with high scores and eliminating competitors with each round of surfing.

Erik's dominant style, his all or nothing approach when charging waves flustered the reigning King. It probably didn't help that Erik trashed talked Danvers about wanting to fuck Calista and questioning publicly why a beautiful white woman would hitch her wagon to a Black loud-mouth like him as they sat on their boards waiting for swells to erupt. He barked at the man with custom gold grills on his teeth. A photographer caught an iconic shot of Erik snarling with those grills as he ripped through a tube that Danvers failed to snag.

Erik dusted the man and won with the higher scores and better rides. He never let Danvers forget it. People salivated over any rematches they had over the years. But that first public thrashing Erik handed out to Danvers made him a legend. The Black American was now the golden boy wonder of U.S. surfing. Every surfer was put on notice. Be ready to ride or die against Killmonger. Erik had been so hyped about beating Danvers that he took it out on Calista. They lived it up in Hawaii after he won. He also fucked the shit out of her that night, putting Marina in her womb. Nine months from the date of that victory, his baby girl was born.

Staring at Colin, Erik was pleased that the sport he loved had plenty of new Black talent making waves. Only a few years younger than Erik, Colin was on the rise until he discovered a love of tow-in surfing and innovate design in aquatic sports. He quit the pro circuit and created Surfgeist, a company that designed aquatic sports equipment and also sought to train future aquatic athletes. Partnered with Bruce, they were doing well and afforded Colin a lifestyle of leisure and creativity. Colin was also the best personal watercraft operator in tow-in surfing, and if Erik was thinking of jumping back into the game, then Colin was the man to have by his side. He trusted his life to him many times in Portugal and Pe'ahi, Hawaii.

"I miss it, I really do," Erik sighed, checking his watch.

Marina was out with friends, a nice treat for her, and Deuce was at the house playing video games. Bruce and Colin rushed right over the minute Erik spoke of training again. The two men had moved Surfgeist HQ from Santa Monica to San Diego, once Erik made Mission Beach his home base. Colin was excited because he had the use of Mission Bay and the beaches to experiment with his new equipment. The city agreed with him and he was ready for a change. Bruce was already a San Diego native, so the move back home was a treat for him.

Erik checked his phone that he had on mute by accident. He noticed a few missed calls from a number he didn't recognize. There was also a text.

Hi! This is Sugar. I'm over at San Felipe's Taco Shop on Mission Boulevard. Deuce ate some food here and he forgot his wallet and phone and can't pay for it. Could you come here and take care of it for him? Thanks.

"Aye, y'all mind going with me to get Deuce? He left the crib and forgot his wallet. He's stuck over at a taco shop."

Colin chuckled.

"Yeah, we can hang," he said.

They walked out of the bar.

"Do we need your jeep?" Bruce asked.

"Nah, it's not far from here, we can walk."

They headed East to the main street of Mission Boulevard and walked six blocks North. Finding the taco shop and walking in, Erik was surprised to see Deuce wearing an apron and gloves and holding a brown bin. His son's eyes were on Sugar and a Latinx man with his arm around her.

Erik and his friends stood to the side and listened to Sugar's father speak. He felt humbled being witness to an obvious family event. He was touched to see her get so emotional when her family gave her a start-up fund for her passion.

"Hi, I'm Erik Stevens, Deuce's Dad, " Erik said.

"Killmonger, the champion. I'm honored to have you in my place. I'm Cedro Moreno."  
Cedro pumped Erik's hand firmly. He studied the man's face. He had no idea Sugar was Mexican and Black. But she didn't have the same last name…

"Sorry about Deuce not having the cash…"

Sabine walked over and Deuce whined, as usual, and Erik decided to let the boy work off his meal. The menu looked great and he ordered a ton of food for himself and his friends. Sliding into a booth, the atmosphere was festive and he kept trying to catch glimpses of Sugar. She moved around to say goodbye to a few people and she spoke fluent Spanish to a lot of family members. She hunkered down next to her mother, and as Erik ate and drank a cold brew, her eyes rested on his.

"This food is better than that Roberto's joint in PB," Colin said.

When Erik didn't answer, Colin bumped his arm with his elbow.

"Earth to Killmonger, you hear me?"

"Yeah. It's most definitely better."

Deuce walked over to Sugar's table and Belinda, Sugar's mother, laughed. When his son moved away to clean another table off, he had a smile on his face. Erik wondered what was said.

"She any good?" Colin asked.

Erik reached for another spicy shrimp taco and noticed Colin checking out Sugar.

"She has the potential to be a strong competitor. I surfed with her once. She's got the skills. Needs some work though,"

"You should mentor her. It would be good for your comeback training too."

"I told her to hit me up when she was ready to go full time."

"You hit her up."

Erik looked at Colin. His eyes were still on Sugar. It made Erik feel a certain way.

"Is she close to qualifying for anything?" Bruce asked.

"She has to jump into some competitions quick and dirty, she won't be invited to no big dogs any time soon, but if she can do well in the next six months, she may get on the radar."

"Good enough for sponsorship?"

Erik could see thoughts churning behind Colin's eyes.

"Not yet. She still has to be vetted—"

"But you said she was good."

"The potential is there, but I can't go all out based on one surf session that only lasted an hour. I need to see her in action on some big waves. See her in an actual real-life competition."

"She's going to need money, more than what her parents and friends gave her," Colin said.

"She looks good," Bruce said sizing her up.

"Sexy," Colin mumbled as he bit into a chicken taco.

"I agree. It's a subtle sexy. We'll be looking for models soon for some new campaigns. When you think she's quality, Erik, let us know. We could throw her some ad work. We need to be more inclusive with our brand. A beautiful Black girl is a great look," Bruce said.

"Mmhmm," Colin murmured.

When Colin reached for some napkins, his eyes caught Erik's stare.

"What?"

"Nothing," Erik said.

He reached for his cell and typed a quick message and shot it off to Sugar. He watched her reach for her phone and read it. Her eyes raise up and he waved her over to the table. She hesitated for a split second until Deuce came by and sat down.

"Whatchu doing, boy?"

"Taking a break."

"Get back to work," Erik said shoving Deuce aside so Sugar could sit next to Bruce.

"I get a split of all the tips, so leave a lot of money on the table. You too, Uncle Colin."

"I always leave a tip."

"Yeah, but I need to get paid for this slave labor."

Deuce brushed past Sugar who looked a little nervous in front of Erik.

"I'm Colin."

Colin wiped his hands then stretched out his arm across the table. Sugar took his hand and Colin held it longer than Erik thought he should. She seemed enamored with him and those pearly whites that zeroed in on women for the kill.

"That's Bruce," Erik said breaking up Colin's flirty behavior.

Sugar nodded to Bruce but her eager brown eyes went back to Colin.

"I used to watch your heats when you did Jaws. Me and my girls used to watch the ten worst wipeouts and yours was our favorite. Not because you wiped out, but because that wave fucked you up and you came out smiling," she said.

"Oh, you just gonna put a brotha on blast for getting his ass kicked by a rogue wave!"

Colin laughed loud and Sugar joined him, her eyes all dewy and playful.

"We learned from that. Your mistakes help us do better. What did that feel like, I mean, tell the truth. I've had some bad hits, but you got plucked like a chicken by a forty-foot wave…"

Bruce cackled and Colin sat back in his seat.

"I like her, man. Just straight-up honesty," Colin quipped.

Erik's lips grew tight.

Sugar never asked him about his surfing. She was supposed to be his biggest fan and she was sitting there chopping it up with Colin. She had kissed him and set his world spinning, but now she was practically ignoring him.

Colin reached into his wallet and threw a bunch of bills on the table for a tip.

"You have time to hang out? I can tell you all that you want to know."

"I've got to go be with my family. I have relatives up from San Felipe and we're doing a lot this weekend."

Colin reached back into his wallet and pulled out his business card.

"Give me a call. Better yet, let's do lunch. You like sushi?"

"Love it."

"I know a spot. Bring your friends too."

"That's cool. Thanks for the invite. I will let them know."

Sugar turned her attention back to Erik. He acted petty.

"Guess you have to make room on your schedule to talk shop with me then," he said.

Her eye dropped down to Colin's card. She slipped it inside the small fanny pack draped around her waist.

"School is done. All I have is the camp now," she said. Her voice was soft and even.

"After next week, will you guys do another session?"

"We're taking two weeks off. There's a bunch of events happening on the Bay and Belmont Park, so it'll be too hectic trying to run another camp so soon. Now that I have some money, I'll probably re-think some things."

"Training?"

"Yeah."

"I'd like to help with that."

Sugar's eyes lit up. He felt like a moth fluttering to a flame trying to stay close to her warmth.

Her full attention was on him now, and not Colin.

"You have my number already. Let's set up a time after your summer camp next week and meet up at the house. I'll make you lunch and we can see how much you can accomplish for the rest of the year. Sound cool?"

"Yeah. Real cool. Thanks."

Erik glanced at Colin. Yeah nigga, I'm making her lunch.

Deuce flopped back over to him.

"I'm finally done."

"Admit it. It wasn't so bad," Sugar said.

Deuce would never give her that satisfaction.

"I'm ready to go," he said, poking Erik in the shoulder.

Erik and his entourage stood up to leave.

"Mr. Moreno, amazing food," Erik said to Cedro as the man walked near their table with Belinda.

Sugar's mother watched him carefully, a shy smile on her face.

Cedro shook Erik's hand.

"Mr. Stevens, would you mind if I took a picture of you, Sugar and my son Robert? It's for our wall of fame," Belinda said pointing to a section of the space that had framed photos.

"Sure," he said.

Sugar waved her brother Robert over and the three of them stood in front of the soda bar. Erik stood in the middle and slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her in closer to him. He threw his other arm around Robert's shoulder.

Cedro and Belinda both took pictures with their cell phones.

"Deuce, get in the picture," Cedro said.

Deuce looked surprised, but he stood in front of them anyway.

"Oh, this is a good one," Cedro said looking at his phone.

The older man looked at Deuce.

"You did a fantastic job young man. Kept on top of everything, and made the place look spotless with all these people."

Deuce seemed actually proud of himself with a big grin on his face.

"I heard that the employees share the tips. So, do I get my cut now or…?"

Belinda fell out when she saw the look on Cedro's face.

"You have to work an entire shift to get a cut," Cedro said.

"But can we prorate it or something for the two hours I put in, right?"

Sugar's father stared at Deuce, but his boy didn't back down.

"You work a half shift for me on Sunday, and I'll pay you your tip and some wages. Under the table."

"I don't see why you don't just—"

"Deuce," Erik said.

"Hey, fare wage and free lunch during your break. Can't beat that," Cedro said.

"I get minimum?"

Sugar glanced at her father. Erik saw surprise on her face.

"We'll work something out. If your father agrees to it. It has to be under the table because you're not old enough for a work permit."

Deuce and manual labor? Unbelievable.

Erik watched his son consider it,

"I give my permission just for a half shift," Erik said.

"I get to eat anything on the menu for lunch?"

"All my employees are fed a decent meal for the labor they put in. And it's not at a discount. Free."

"I'll do it," Deuce said.

"See you first thing Sunday morning at ten a.m."

"Can I park my bike here?"

"I have a place where you can put your bike."

"Thanks for the job and thanks for working things out with Deuce," Erik said.

He led Deuce outside and they all walked back to Erik's house.

"You and Marina are part of the working class," Erik said, rubbing his hand on his son's hair.

Colin stopped walking and stared at his cell phone.

"Looks like I have a meeting with your protégé," Colin said.

Erik felt a scowl itching to crease his face until his cell phone vibrated. It was Sugar.

"Can we meet on Tuesday after camp?"


	9. Addicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar has a memory and wonders about Erik.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feeling a little better today.  
> Enjoy!

"I got what you need every season  
Giving you the keys, you can keep 'em  
Got me in your seat, pull me deeper  
And every time we hit I'm addic-I'm addicted  
Rolling in your trees, I'ma fiend now  
Seeing everything I could dream 'bout  
And no one's gonna bring what I need now  
I'm waiting for the heat  
Don't you hold, don't you hold out…"

VanJess—"Addicted"

Sabine was four years old when she almost drowned.

Papi had taken the family to Black's beach so he could catch the swells that had come from an offshore storm that started thousands of miles away. Black's beach tended to have the bigger waves during tropical storms and was a favorite spot of Cedro's.

Her baby brother was still being breast-fed, so that was the only reason her mother was sitting on a reclining beach chair with Robert latched onto her nipple and her Auntie Melissa playing with Sabine in the warm sand instead of being out on the water with her husband.

Sabine remembered the grit on her feet and the damp smell of the sea as she stood up and wandered to the wet part of the sand as foamy water swept in. Large swells were in the distance and as the waves broke onshore, the foamy water crept closer to her family on the dry sand.

"Stay right there," Melissa said.

Sabine waved her hand above her head to try and get her father's attention. He was slicing through small four feet waves and she wanted him to come out of the water.

"Papi!"

Her voice bounced on the water and Papi waved back at her before he popped over the lip of a wave and paddled back out bypassing white water that pooled in a wide swathe behind him. She wanted to go out with him. He would take her out on his longboard when the waves were small, but today he left her behind. She stepped her small toes in the cold water and yelped when she felt the slimy wet texture of the bunches of seaweed strewn along the shoreline. Some of it tried to tangle around her toes and she hopped around it. Dried bunches of it sat on the sand attracting flies.

"Papi!"

The water rushed back revealing soft gushy wet sand and hidden shells. Sabine ran forward. thinking she could reach her Dad and climb on his board.

"Sabine!"

Belinda's voice was a faint shout with the roar of water rushing forward again. It knocked Sabine over once, then twice, and then her eyes saw a wave rise in front of her and her eyes became as huge as saucers as she stood frozen watching it curve above her. Being only four and not understanding the danger, she kept running forward and felt her right foot drop down into a soft depression of sand that sucked her leg deeper, trapping her.

The wall of water slammed down on top of her and she felt the terrible pushing and pulling of the heavy weight of liquid on top of her. She lost her breath and water siphoned into her nose and throat. Pressure on her ears made her cry out only to choke her with more water. The sharp taste of salt filled her mouth as she shouted for her mother. Everything slowed down and her eyes burned with the green waters below the surface. She could see light above illuminating the path to oxygen, but her leg was stuck and sunk deeper.

It was her Aunt Melissa that grabbed her by her waist and pulled her out of the rough surf and carried her back to her mother. Belinda turned her on her side and rubbed her back to help her expel water from her coughing mouth.

"You're okay, baby, you're okay…"

Her mother's voice sounded stressed and Sabine could hear Robert crying, their mother's breast no longer feeding and placating him. Cedro came out of the water to help, and when Belinda turned her over onto her back, the sun was directly overhead blinding Sabine's eyes. Papi looked like a giant looming above her.

"Mija…"

She reached for him and Cedro lifted her from their beach blanket and hugged her tight as she continued to cough, her eyes still stinging with cold saltwater and hot tears.

"You'll be able to be out there with Papi one day, you're just little right now," he whispered in her ear.

When she had calmed down, her mother wrapped her in a towel and allowed her to lay on one breast while Robert returned to his feeding in peace on the other breast. Papi sat on the blanket near them rubbing Sabine's feet, never leaving her side until she fell asleep with the roar of the surf still pounding in her ears. She dreamed of conquering waves then. She dreamed of flying across the surface like her Mom and Dad.

From that moment on, she dreamed of walking on water.

Surf was life.

Always.

Standing in front of the surf as an adult, a longboard tucked under her arm, Sabine glanced behind her.

Erik's house was still dark. It was five in the morning and Sabine wanted to take advantage of the quiet and lack of people to surf before the girls arrived. Yolanda and Asia were already out on the water waiting for waves. The sun's first rays were still faint, the sky blue-black with light blue patches on the horizon of the water.

She walked forward.

Icy water on her feet, her wetsuit snug on her body, she dropped her board the moment the water hit her waist. Positioning herself on her board, she dipped her arms in deep and pushed water back. She adjusted her position on the board, moving forward to keep the nose of the board from tilting up. Once she joined the other women, she sat up and waited.

The calm and the quiet was her favorite part of dawn patrol. In the distance further south, she could see some white male surfers sitting and waiting too. One of them gave a polite wave and she waved back as the sky began to lighten.

Yolanda took the first wave of the day, and they watched her pop up with ease on her longboard. Sabine glanced behind her and saw another wave making its way toward her. She waited a few seconds to see if it would grow or crumble, but it stayed on track to becoming a good catch. She paddled fast and once she felt the back of her board lift up, she placed her hands under her chest and pushed down on the board evenly, quickly hopping her feet into position. The fresh wax she coated her board with before going in gave her perfect traction. She tended to over wax just to be safe. The coating was so thick, she couldn't even see the fiberglass beneath it. She timed it just right. As her feet hit the board, she kept her knees bent deep.

Her bottom turn set her up for a successful ride and she whipped her head, shoulders, and arms in the direction she wanted to go. Rocking slightly backward onto her heels, she eased into a smooth ride as early morning sprays of foamy white water drenched her hair. She cut it the night before and loved not having to tie up curls tight or constantly wipe her hands over her head to brush hair back.

There was a lull in the waves.

Sabine laid back on her board and floated. Yolanda paddled over to her.

"Look who's up already," Yolanda said.

Sabine sat up and looked toward the land.

The ground floor lights were on at Erik's house as well as the patio lights. They could see Marina already carrying surfboards out onto the grassy area of the beach from the garage. Sabine glanced at her watch. Five forty-five in the morning.

She could see Erik helping her by handing her wax to rub onto the boards laid out on top of blankets. Sabine paddled back toward land, allowing a small wave break to push her in. Carrying her board over to Marina, she rested it over the two folding chairs she had placed there earlier.

Marina's wore two French braids in her hair, and her Girls Surf! t-shirt was twisted at the bottom to make it fit better since it was a woman's size small. She had a serious expression on her face and she was fussing with Erik. He was dressed for a lazy day in a soft-looking gray t-shirt and gray sweats. Dark slides covered his feet.

"I told you I can do it—"

"I know you can. But I'm up and I can help."

"But I'm getting paid to work and if you help me then I'm not doing the work—"

"I'm assisting you, baby girl."

Sabine stayed out of their squabble and wiggled out of her wetsuit. She placed it over her board and pulled on some shorts and flip flops. She walked to her van and started carrying wetsuits and snacks to their meet up site.

Erik stood back and let Marina handle the boards. Yolanda and Asia went to retrieve the rest of the suits.

"Would you like some coffee? I have some Jamaican Blue Mountain percolating," he said.

His voice was doing that raspy thing it did when it was early and he was keeping an eye on Marina as she worked.

"No, I'm good, thanks."

"Deuce liked working with your father on Sunday."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Marina brought another board around.

"That's the last one. I closed the garage," she said.

"Okay, good."

"You can go back in the house now. I'm not by myself anymore."

Marina grabbed the bar of wax she was using to treat the last board.

"Waves just so-so this morning?" Erik said glancing over at the water.

"It's okay. Perfect for the girls."

"Daddy…"

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving. Have fun today."

Marina ignored him and made sure the leashes on all the boards were visible.

"Coffee is here whenever you guys want some," Erik said.

"Cool."

"I like your hair. It looks good shorter like that."

She found herself touching it.

"It grows back fast, so I may cut it shorter when I leave for Indo."

"Don't forget, lunch after camp and then we talk," he said.

"I'll be hungry."

He strolled back to his house and Sabine wondered what his day was like. To be with his children all the time in a big expensive house doing whatever he wanted.

The good life.

Given to him by surfing.

Watching him enter his perfect home, she wondered if he would divorce Calista and marry that clingy girlfriend. That woman would live a luxurious life, gain two children, and have a man that woke up with a raspy voice and wore clothes that accentuated muscles and…

Coffee did sound good.

She watched the tri-level for a little longer.

One day she would have a house like that for herself.

###

Sabine, Yolanda, and Asia sat on the grassy knoll with their legs crisscrossed facing Marina.

Erik's daughter sat on a folding chair with a notebook and pencil in her hand staring at all three women with serious eyes. There was only a week left in the surf camp and Sabine wanted to have a debriefing meeting with Marina to get an honest opinion of how the program had been and to get honest feedback from her and the other girls. They allowed the children to sit in a circle and have a private chat without them being near to know who said what. The other girls voted for Marina to take the notes since she always had a notebook with her to write down whatever Sabine, Yolanda or Asia said during activities.

Sabine worried that the excited chatter and overlapping conversations would overwhelm Marina, but from what she saw from a distance was the girl taking her time to write and shushing people who interrupted individual speakers. Sabine had instituted the talking stick concept of using a small piece of wood to hold when speaking. Only the person holding the wood could talk, and the wood could be passed around if someone else wanted to speak. It seemed to help Marina out a lot in concentrating as she jotted things down for the group.

Marina tapped the eraser of her Black Panther pencil against her cheek looking over her notes.

"Smaller groups are better. We think one teacher with five students is good. Snacks should be given at the end so people don't have to use the restroom while they're surfing. We like the games, but there are too many of them and it doesn't give us more time in the water. You should have different levels. Some girls are really good, but there are some who need extra help and that slows down the class. On the first day, you should put the girls into different levels."

She stared at her notebook and crossed off things as she spoke.

"Is there anything else?" Asia asked.

"I don't want to hurt your feelings Yolanda, but you are too nice sometimes. Amy and Lisa sometimes don't follow the rules and you don't give them time out for it. My Dad says that it's important to know the rules and follow them. If you don't, you make it unsafe for other people."

Sabine glanced over at Yolanda whose face registered surprise.

"I like to remind students of the rules instead of punishing them. It's good to talk through the problem and reiterate the rules," Yolanda said in her defense.

Marina tapped her eraser on her chin.

"When I don't follow important safety rules, my Dad makes me get out of the water and sit on the sand. I remember not to break the rules when he does that. They kept breaking the rules even after you talked to them. The other girls don't think that's fair."

Asia ducked her head down to hide the snickering coming from her mouth.

"Duly noted," Yolanda said.

"Any personal notes for me and Sabine?" Asia asked.

Marina turned a page in her notebook. Sabine grew nervous.

"No."

Sabine's shoulders relaxed.

"Thank you for your honesty, Marina, and thank you for being the leader to have a private conversation with the group to give us all this information. We will work to improve things."

They proceeded to pack things away, and when they put the last of the surfboards in the garage, Yolanda and Asia spread the wet suits around the garage floor near the boards as Erik instructed. They were cleaned and pulled inside out.

They admired Erik's Acura, and the new Jeep he had parked inside.

"See you tomorrow, let us know how it went," Asia said.

Erik stuck his head out of the garage door.

"Hey, Asia and Yolanda, why don't you stay for lunch too. I made a lot," he said.

The women stared at Sabine and she nodded her head for them to stay. It would make her feel less nervous being with him. As much as she tried to put away the memory of kissing Erik in such a bold way, she felt weird being around him. He acted like it wasn't a big deal, but she remembered the feel of his tongue in her mouth, and how his lips swallowed hers like he wanted more. His hands pulled her in close and the groan from his throat made her skin tingle.

The kiss itself only lasted about a minute, but a minute was a long time. Time could stretch in one minute, and it did stretch in that minute. If she hadn't stopped it, she felt like they could've gotten into trouble. She was surprised that he didn't pull back first or chastise her for doing it. Erik had a wife and a side chick and his lips were acting as if he had neither with her.

Why didn't he set her straight in a harsher way? Set some boundaries? Why did she act like there were no boundaries? Yes, she was thrilled when he gave her and her friends the things they needed for the surf camp, but she took it to another level. And he let her.

Watching him now with that smile on his face and inviting her homegirls relaxed the anxiousness she felt in her midsection. Could they all see how attracted she was to him? It was one thing to have a teenaged crush, but to still carry that torch as a grown woman felt foolish and immature.

What was worse, she wanted to kiss him again. Especially when he was trying to help Marina that morning and his child was trying to shoo him away so she could do something on her own. His hovering and being protective while trying to give his little girl space to grow up a bit just did something to her. It was just too damn sexy. That weirded Sabine out. Shit, maybe she was about to have her period. She often grew soft and emotionally sensitive during her cycle, and watching a man be a supportive girl Dad had her squirming. Especially since it was him and he was so good at it.

She watched her friends open their car trunks and pull out backpacks on the side of Erik's house behind her van. She grabbed her own knapsack with clean clothes from her VW and walked back into the garage with Yolanda and Asia. Erik pressed the white garage door button and watched it shut before they all walked into his house.

"Hey. You all can take showers on the second and third floor," Erik said from the kitchen.

Marina grabbed her hand.

"I'll show them!"

"My flip flops?" she asked.

"Leave them by the garage door. We pretty much go barefoot inside."

They all kicked off their sandals and flip flops.

Whatever he was cooking smelled delicious. He mixed together a giant salad in a glass bowl and Deuce walked into the room from the family room. He sniffed the air.

"You're making scallops? What's the special occasion?" Deuce said staring at his father.

Erik added salt and pepper to the salad ingredients and tossed the mix with two big mixing spoons.

"I make this all the time."

"No, you don't—"

"Mind your business. Sugar, Yolanda…Asia, lunch will be ready when you're done cleaning up. No rush."

He left the island and went to his fridge.

They followed Marina to the second floor.

"You can use the guest room, Yolanda. It has its own bathroom. Asia, you can use the bathroom here, and Sugar, I'll take you on the other floor."

"Thanks," Yolanda and Asia said rushing to clean up their bodies.

Sabine went up to the third floor with Marina. Her eyes took in the décor and furniture. The artwork on the walls were beautiful ocean scenes and maritime accents. Light bright colors that matched a beach environment. It was a calm house. But energizing too.

"You can use this bathroom. I'm going to go clean up too."

"Your braids held in good with all the swimming you did."

"Daddy makes it tight so it doesn't come apart."

"He French braided your hair?"

"Yeah."

She was impressed.

"See you downstairs."

Sabine walked into the guest room and closed the door. When she looked around, she couldn't believe it was a guestroom, it looked like a master suite.

Fresh towels and all kinds of fancy soaps and shampoos were available for her in the bathroom and she took her time cleaning sand, bits of seaweed debris, and sweat from her body. Washing her hair, she used some lemon hair conditioner to bring life back to her dry curls.

Slipping on clean underwear, and a new strapless bra, she pulled on a tie-dyed off the shoulder cotton blouse and jean skirt. She felt ready to face Erik.

She left her belongings on the guest bed and hung her swimsuit and shorts on the bathtub ledge. Wandering out, she took some time to look around. There was a wide-open den-like space with a nice view of the end of the boardwalk that had expensive gym equipment, weights, a Stairmaster, and a stationary bike. Adjacent to the home gym was a true master bedroom suite. Clearly, it had to be Erik's private abode. She stood outside the open double doors and peeked in.

The bed was custom-made with built-in bookshelves in the twisted gun metal headboard. Sabine glanced behind her. She was alone.

Creeping into the room with quiet steps, she looked around even more. Her eyes set upon the balcony and when she walked onto it the view of the ocean from that height was beautiful. Peaceful. Far in the distance, she could see swells moving in. With so much climate change happening, San Diego's beaches were experiencing unpredictable wave patterns and currents.

He had tasteful furniture on his balcony to relax on, and she could imagine he spent a lot of time out there gazing at the water.

Stepping back into the bedroom, she saw that his bathroom was split into two separate rooms. One was the toilet with a bidet and a long double sink with giant oval mirrors. Next to the toilet room was a large whirlpool bathtub and walk-in shower that sprayed water from all sides of the space. Chrome and silver filled that separate bathroom with a built-in sauna next to the shower.

She decided to wash her hands again for lunch and used his sink. Checking her hair, she noticed that the mirror had glowing white touchscreen buttons at the bottom of it. She touched one button and it altered the amount of light in the room and on the mirror itself. Fancy. She swiped another button and the mirror popped open revealing a cabinet. Inside she saw expensive colognes and shaving tools. She lifted one bottle of cologne and opened the top. Sniffing it, the scent made her close her eyes. Such a clean, crisp, smell. It was like the ocean air mixed with a slight melon scent. She put the bottle back and noticed open boxes of condoms. Two different brands. One ultra-thin and ribbed, and the other one lubricated for women's pleasure. Both types were made for men who were blessed.

Sabine felt her face grow warm. Both boxes were nearly empty.

"Daddy is getting it in," she murmured under her breath.

She heard footsteps.

Pushing the mirror closed, she left the room quickly and ran into Marina outside the bedroom door. She had changed into a pink jumper.

"You want to see my room?"

"Sure."

Sabine's heart skipped a bit thinking it was Erik busting her looking at his stuff. They reached the top of the stairs and Erik met them coming up. Her stomach flip-flopped.

"I left my stuff in the guest room," Sabine said in a rush of nervous air.

"That's cool. Ready to eat?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He touched his chest.

"Need to change my shirt. Been cooking in this one," he said.

He walked into his room and Sabine quickly passed Marina to get downstairs. She gave thanks to God that Marina found her before he did.

How would she explain opening his cabinet and inspecting his condoms?


	10. Soul Sista

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik realizes something about his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

"It's all in the eyes, you and me  
Words just disguise  
All the things that you be  
What is deep, it's deeper than sea  
Soul only knows  
This type of vibe gets stronger in time"

Bilal—"Soul Sista"

Erik's house hadn't had that much laughter during a meal since…forever.

Sugar and her friends were loud, boisterous, smart, funny, and so much fun to have with his children. They hung around the island counter with Deuce and Marina watching him stir fry fresh spaghetti noodles in garlic and oyster sauce with red cherry tomatoes and capers. He added lightly seasoned sautéed scallops with cilantro leaves and plated everyone with an Italian side salad mixed with thick and sweet balsamic vinegar dressing. Fresh bruschetta and white wine was the final touch, with cold apple cider for his kids.

Once he served everyone their plates in the dining room, there was very little talking as mouths ate and lips sipped. He ended up cooking more pasta and scallops for everyone which he was prepared for, and he noticed that Sugar relaxed a little more once she had a little wine and good food in her belly. She made eye contact with him frequently as she ate, and it made him feel good that she enjoyed his food so much, eating three helpings of pasta and salad.

Marina seemed enamored of Sugar's friends, hanging on to their every word as they spoke to one another in a type of shorthand that had all three women cackling and making Deuce laugh too. Erik watched his son develop a staring condition as he watched everything that Yolanda did or said. She was an attractive young woman. They all were. All three had big curly hair they wore out freely and their skin was touched with sun enhanced brownness that sparkled with what Sugar said was mica infused sunblock from Burt's Bees lotion. Full features and full personalities, they were all so similar, and yet so unique and Erik saw why they became besties in ninth grade and followed each other to UCSD where they all majored in science degrees.

Yolanda was a molecular biology major and Asia was a microbiology major. They got their nerd cred on at the table when they explained to Marina the bioluminescence that was happening around the Scripps Pier area of La Jolla near their mother's home better than Erik could.

When Yolanda began to go a little more in-depth about the haunting blue glow floating along the coast made by tiny organisms, and why it smelled so bad, Deuce stuffed his mouth and just…stared…. at her big fat brown curls that fell past her shoulder blades, at her hands that were busy with movement describing water currents, and how she enunciated words for Marina to make sure she understood. He was fascinated when she spoke Tagalog to Erik when saying thank you for the meal and sharing that her father was Filipino and her mother was a Southeast San Diego hood girl like Sugar's mother. Erik knew Yolanda was mixed, but he didn't know what type of Asian she was mixed with because there were so many different groups of Asian Americans in San Diego.

Asia jumped into the conversation to cover the fascinating lives of creatures that bloomed in red tides, and before the discussion was over, Sugar gave the big picture overview of marine life having to deal with some dinoflagellates that were toxic to fish and mollusks, even the ones they were eating with their pasta. Both Deuce and Marina stared at their lunch plates making the connection when Sugar explained interdependence in the marine ecosystem. When she went off on symbiosis she stopped halfway through and asked the children if they were boring them. Deuce and Marina both said no.

Somehow the conversation moved from bioluminescence and red tides to Avatar the animated series, then amusement park rollercoasters, then hair, and more. The dizzying speed of the interactions made Erik sit back and just listen. He couldn't keep up and he loved his children being around…

He stopped and looked at all three women.

Black women.

He had to think when was the last time he was around more than one Black woman that wasn't related to him. His close relatives lived in Oakland and Chicago with a few scattered in Florida who he was not close to. He and his children only saw them three times a year during birthdays, Thanksgiving or Christmas, and births of any new children from his siblings.

When he was with Calista, all of her female friends were white. Their house parties were full of white people and any of his male Black friends who were married to white women or dated white women. All his children's teachers at school were white. Their sports activities were with white people and a few Asian folks. There were a few Black students at their school, but less than two percent. The only Black women his kids really ever saw were on TV, or the few they saw out and about in public.

Erik sat there stunned.

This was the first time he had non-related Black women around his children in their home. What shocked him more was how normal that was for them to never have that type of contact, and he never thought anything of it until he saw his baby girl's eyes light up over a meal with three women with her skin color, facial features, and thick clouds of dark curly hair.

"Anyone ready for some spumoni?" he asked.

"Yes!" Marina said raising her hand.

Erik left the table and pulled the ice cream out of the freezer. Scooping out six small bowls, he took two trips to bring everyone the cool treat.

"Do you surf, Deuce?" Yolanda asked.

Erik's son's face beamed when she gave him her full attention and he stirred the pistachio nuts in his ice cream around on his spoon.

"I do, but I like skateboarding better. Marina's the dolphin of the family."

Marina grinned.

"She is very good," Sugar said reaching over and tapping Marina's shoulder.

"I want to be a pro like my Dad," she said.

"Me too," Sugar said.

"You're already a pro."

"Not like him."

Sugar's eyes glanced at Erik and he studied her face.

She looked good sitting at the far end of the table like she was the Queen of the meal. He sat on the far end opposite her feeling full and content having her and her friends there.

"Hey, Dad…Mom's here…" Deuce said.

Erik looked outside of the dining room window that faced the patio outside and saw Calista opening the gate carrying a plastic bag.

Deuce jumped up from the table and walked to the front door. Erik braced himself. Sugar looked worried.

Calista breezed in when she heard voices from the dining area. Erik saw the look of surprise on her face when she saw the fancy dishes and wine and all three women sitting comfortably in his house. It took her a second to figure out that it was the Girls Surf crew.

"Sorry! I didn't know you were having a gathering. Just dropping off Deuce's Jordans. He kept texting me all day to bring them, even though he has a ton of shoes here."

Deuce took the bag looking slightly embarrassed.

"I need these for soccer this weekend."

He kissed his mother's cheek and sat back down at his dining seat.

Calista stood in front of them with blue short-shorts, heels, and a white halter top. Her hair was back to its normal hair color, with added extra blonde highlights. It grew awkward with her standing and staring. He really wanted her to leave, but he didn't want to ruin the atmosphere they had developed over the course of two hours. It was one of the longest lunches his family ever had.

"Have you eaten lunch? We have leftover pasta and scallops," Erik said collecting ice cream bowls.

Yolanda stood up to help, but Deuce jumped up again and collected empty plates and bowls too. Calista stepped forward and stood behind Marina's seat. She touched her daughter's bunched up hair.

"No, I haven't."

"You want some?"

Calista slipped into the empty chair next to Marina.

"I'd love some…he makes great Italian dishes. Whenever we vacationed in Rome he'd make me this dish to try and impress me," she said.

Sugar smiled at her, but Erik could swear he saw a dulling in her eyes.

He brought her the last of the food with a salad.

"I'd like some wine too. Can I get a glass?"

Erik walked back to the kitchen and took a glass from the wine cupboard. He handed it to her and she poured a small amount for herself.

"Thanks, Babe," she said.

Sugar finished off her glass.

"We should be going," she said taking her cloth napkin off of her lap and placing it on the table.

Yolanda and Asia did the same.

"Don't go yet!" Marina said.

"We didn't get a chance to talk shop," Erik said.

He couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice.

"We've already taken up two hours," she said.

"It's still early. Italian meals last hours anyway. You have anywhere to be? We can all go out on the patio," he said.

Yolanda and Asia slipped on their sandals and grabbed their backpacks near the garage door.

"See you tomorrow Marina," Asia said.

"Thanks for the food, Erik," Yolanda said.

Deuce looked at Erik like he wanted him to make them stay.

"Please don't leave because of me," Calista said pouring herself more wine, "You all can talk shop and I'll be done in a minute."

Yolanda and Asia waved goodbye and bounced. Sugar picked up her empty glass and took it to the kitchen. Erik followed her.

"Don't go."

"You overfed us and now I need a nap. I couldn't even focus if you tried to tell me anything. The food was delicious."

"Go take a nap in the guestroom upstairs where your stuff is. It'll cool down later—"

"I feel…"

"What?"

Her eyes held his and he hoped she'd give in.

"I don't feel comfortable with Calista being here. I don't want to cause you two any friction. She didn't look pleased to see us here."

"It's my house. No one invited her here—"

"All done."

Calista walked in with her empty plate and wine glass. Sugar placed her empty wine glass in the dishwasher. Erik took Calista's dirty dishes and plopped them in next to Sugar's glass.

"Thanks again," Sugar said.

He watched her walk out of the kitchen. Calista followed behind her. Erik's lips pressed together tight.

Marina and Deuce stood near their mother as Sugar went up the stairs. Calista's eyes tracked her movement. She hugged their children and picked up her purse from the chair she sat on in the dining room. She headed out of the front door. Erik followed her. He held open the patio gate and she paused.

"What was that? A thank you meal?" she asked.

It was none of her business. But he wanted her to leave without drama.

"Yeah, it was."

"That's very nice of you."

"In the future, could you call me before you just come over here? I could've picked up Deuce's shoes tomorrow."

"He kept texting me. I'm not going to ignore my son."

"This is a bad habit with you. I don't want you coming to my house whenever you feel like it."

"You think I'm going to catch you doing something?"

"I don't show up in La Jolla without calling you direct."

"Are you seeing someone?"

"That's none of your business."

Calista's lip twisted slightly.

"We are still married—"

"Separated."

"I am your wife, Erik—"

"I'm not doing this—"

"You never show me any respect—"

He walked away from her.

"Typical," she shouted.

He closed the front door.

Deuce was back in the family room, but Marina waited for him on the bottom step.

"Mom left already?"

"Yeah."

"Is Sugar going to stay longer?"

"She has some things she has to do. You'll see her tomorrow."

Sugar came back down from the third floor with her knapsack slung on her shoulder.

"Got everything?" he asked trying to make his voice sound pleasant.

She nodded and gave Marina a high five.

"Two more days," she said.

"I don't want camp to end," Marina said.

"Me neither, but we'll start up another session. If your Dad says it's okay, you can work for us again. I'll make you our Junior Assistant."

Marina threw her arms around Sugar's waist.

"You're the best boss," she whispered into Sugar's tummy.

"You're the best assistant. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

They watched Marina skip to the family room.

"I'll see you out," he said.

He led her to the garage and pressed the garage door opener.

"You can store the boards here when camp ends."

"You've done a lot already."

He spread his arms out.

"You see how big this garage is? Those are fish boards and they don't take up that much space."

"That's because your garage is immaculate."

"I try to keep things organized."

He regarded her with tenderness in his eyes.

"Marina is going to miss you. She talks about you all every night. I know this is probably a lot to ask, but is it possible that you could stay in touch with her? I'm all for her working with you again in another month. She's made a lot of new friends that have had a tremendous impact on her. She's blossomed so much in four weeks. Her confidence is just mind-blowing. And today…"

He tried to find the right words without feeling ashamed of his discovery.

"I realized today that Marina doesn't get to be around a lot of Black women. My family is up north and we're not around them all the time, so she doesn't see many of my female relatives. She's also the only girl among all my nephews. I was sitting at the table watching her with you, Yolanda, and Asia, and I feel bad that she doesn't have that experience more. Calista doesn't have Black friends…I feel real shitty saying all this. If it weren't for the surf camp, she wouldn't have the new little Black girlfriends she has now. It could be an occasional phone call, a face chat…"

Her hand came up and stroked his bicep. The touch was comforting and all too fleeting.

"Saying that out loud makes me look like a bad father, huh? I have Black children and they're so isolated from parts of themselves. I didn't mean to do that to them."

"You shouldn't beat yourself up about it."

"They came alive around you and your friends. It was such a positive thing to witness. You're good role models. For my son too. I think he has a serious crush on Yolanda."

"I know the feeling myself—"

Her eyes widened.

"Oh, wayment…does that mean you're still my number one fan? A brotha can get his position back from Colin?"

Her eyes grew bigger.

"I saw an old video of you telling an interviewer that you were inspired by me. I was really flattered."

She stepped back hiding her face with her hand and for a second, she looked like she was sixteen again. He reached for her hand and held it.

"Look at you cheesing," he teased.

"Stop making fun of me."

"I'm not making fun. You were really sweet, Sugar."

She looked down at his hand still holding hers.

"Do you really have to go?"

"No."

"C'mon then. Let's go talk."

Pressing the garage door button, he pulled her into his house never wanting to let go of her hand.


	11. Mother May I Sleep With Danger?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine finds herself in a precarious position with Erik.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still shocked at how fast this thing is pouring out. Enjoy!

"Mother may I sleep with danger, please  
It's been knocking on my door since I was seventeen  
Oh, oh, and you saw but you choose to ignore  
But now it's more than a wish, it's a dream"

Joy Crookes—"Mother May I Sleep With Danger?"

Please don't sweat.

Please.

Can he feel the sweat on my fingers?

Can he hear my heart beating so fast?

Sabine can't figure out why time stretches for so long when she is around Erik. He held her hand in the garage and led her into his house and she expected him to let it go the second they crossed the threshold.

But he held onto it, interlaced his fingers with hers, and held it all the way into his living room and up the stairs to the second floor. It felt illicit when she passed the family room and Deuce glanced up from watching TV and saw them climb the spiral staircase together.

Erik walked ahead of her and she could see the veins in his arm and the smooth curve of the hard brown bicep she touched moments ago. His grip on her hand was firm, almost possessive, and she felt like she would follow him anywhere.

He guided her into a pristine home office filled with surfing trophies on two massive glass shelves. Five World Surf League cups dominated the top shelves of one shelf and the others carried various trophies from the top professional competitions in the world. Billabong. Quicksilver Pro. Hurley Pro. Volcom Fiji Pro. The O'Neil Coldwater Classic in Santa Cruz. Oakley Pro Bali…

On another smaller shelf were a few soccer and baseball trophies for Deuce and three junior surfing trophies for Marina.

Sabine's eyes danced across photos of Erik gliding through various Green Rooms—the glorious tubes that waves created—and her all-time favorite, Killmonger and the gold grills shaped like sharp cat fangs on the bottom canine teeth, was prominent above the wall where a glass and pewter desk stood.

He had another great view of the ocean with the balcony sliding door open allowing fresh onshore breezes inside. Above the balcony door was a two-toned yellow surfboard with the word "Buckwild" etched on the bottom of the tail fin side in bold blue and black graffiti letters. Two black and silver ergonomic desk chairs sat on opposite sides of the half-moon curved desk. Several silver-framed photos of his children took up the front corner of the desk with a widescreen Mac book pro propped in the middle. There were no pictures of Calista anywhere.

Erik finally let go of her hand.

Sabine picked up one of the photos of Deuce holding Marina as a baby.

"How old is Deuce here?"

Erik glanced down at the picture.

"He just turned five."

"His hair is so blonde and curly. Marina is adorable. Who would think she was bald as a baby!"

A couple of more recent photos with Marina showed her wearing an eye patch. She touched one of them. Erik saw her finger cross over the patch.

"We're trying to fix her lazy eye. Her amblyopia has improved. We're using eyedrops, patching on occasion, and she starts light therapy next week. If that doesn't help, she'll need corrective glasses."

"Her depth perception seems so good while she surfs."

"Her visual acuity has adjusted within the last year. She's still sensitive about how it looks, but her doctors say her vision is improving in that eye."

"Can it be cured?"

"There's varying degrees of success. Some people seek surgery. We're holding off on that to see if her non-evasive treatments help. Have a seat…"

Erik sat behind the desk and she sat in front of it.

"Ooh, nice chair," she said adjusting it.

Turning on his laptop, he angled it toward her. It must've been on sleep mode because it popped on fast. He opened a folder titled "Pro Shit".

"Lemme keep it buck with you, Sugar. It's going to be hella difficult for you to rack up points this year. You'll have to compete in all kinds of comps back to back and the physical endurance needed is going to be grueling because of travel and continuous training. The women coming out now are beasts. Check it…"

He pulled up clips of Kalani Boyd and Deena Loomis. The top female surfers in the world at that moment. They sat and watched a twenty-minute heat at the previous year's Indo competition where the two women faced each other in the finals. He paused a frame.

"See how Deena pops up in a fluid motion? You need to be that fluid at high speeds and from what I saw in that one session with you, you lag by two to three seconds. Every fucking second counts. Look at Kalani…"

He fast-forwarded to another clip.

"That wave picks up that tail and her foot jams down immediately to take that first drop. Again, you lag with that shit."

There was a ferocity in his voice and his eyes were narrow like he was pissed at her.

"What's the biggest wave you ever rode?" he asked.

"I've had a few triple headers, maybe fifteen to twenty feet max."

"Where?"

"Waimea. Last year"

He shook his head and she felt her stomach bunch up and her heart hurt.

He opened another file and a long list of competitions were typed up. She heard a wireless printer turn on in the corner and a sheet of paper moved through it. He grabbed the papers and handed them to her.

"These are all the comps you have to enter and do well in, I'm talking top two to start creating buzz and earning points. If you can't handle this, then it's going to take longer to make it to the invitational matches."

His voice lacked confidence in her abilities. She felt the pinpricks of tears fighting to shake from her eyelids.

He looked at his computer screen again and pulled up clips of her in her last pro competition the winter before in January when she was still on break from school.

"Watch yourself," he said.

He played her last heat against Sammi Littleton a fifth-ranked surfer in pro women's surfing all the way through. To her eyes, her last charge was her best, and she caught some great curves and dips on a six-foot wave that almost made her tumble when she pushed down on the rails of her board to keep her balance when her left foot slipped on an unexpected drop.

"Sloppy. Why are your feet so wide apart?" he said.

He swiped the touchscreen and opened another clip of Sammi and put their rides side-by-side on the screen.

"She caught a similar wave from the fourth swell. Watch both of these."

He tapped both clips and ran them at regular speed simultaneously. Sammi was great, but Sabine thought they both ripped the heck out of their last attempt to gain high scores.

"Now watch it again," he said.

He reduced the speed of the clips and played them both again. The slo-mo made Sabine focus hard, her eyes darting back and forth between her ride and Sammi's.

"See it? Watch it again."

He replayed it.

Five times.

She caught it finally.

"Your pop up needs to be crisp and decisive. That first bottom turn is everything and yours is weak. You're not getting enough power under the board, and that power is going to give you the speed you need . Forehand bottom turn. Backhand bottom turn. Look at Deena here…lots of rail and she's projecting herself into the turn with a ton of speed. See? Blowing water right out of the sky. You need to jam all your weight all the way down in your legs. All down in your toes… bury it into the rail. Release out of the tail and then make that big turn."

He looked deep into her eyes.

"You gotta be Zen on that bitch, Sugar. Sammi got more points on a ride that you should've done better on. You have it in you, I've seen it when I came at you on the water. You're not owning your shit. These other women are owning their waves. They're also choosing better waves to take off on."

Sabine held her hand over her mouth staring at her position on the board when Erik went in step by step describing her feet on the board. He did the same for Sammi and then compared her feet in slo-mo with Deena and Kalani.

"Look at Deena…one-two, BOOM! She's up. Watch it again. Here's Kalani…smooth. Turns sharp. Arms, shoulders…everything in alignment. Everything on your body has to be of one accord at those speeds. And if you want to do the really big waves…you have a lot to learn, Ma. A fucking lot. You have to unlearn some bad habits."

Erik thrummed his fingers on the desk. His lips were pursed together and the crease on his forehead made Sabine feel like she was in the Principal's office about to be sent to detention.

For the next hour, he went through more videos of her competitions in the past two years. Her head throbbed and her mouth was dry by the time he was done breaking her down visually. She was ready to go to her parent's home and take some headache medicine. She needed the comfort of her Papi's food and her mother's hand stroking her back.

"Whose been coaching you?"

Erik's voice was strictly business.

"No one really, my Dad when he can get away from work. I talk with other surfers on the circuit. I try to watch videos—"

"Do you really want this?"

"You don't think I'm good enough. I'm good, but not where you think I should be."

"Facts. You may need to re-think if this is the life for you. Starting with such a deficit compared to these women will get you eaten up out there."

She tried to will it back into her face but a thin tear streaked down her cheek and hung like a coward on her chin.

"Sugar…"

His hand slid across the table and touched her fingers. She closed her eyes and another one fell from the other eye and she chewed on her bottom lip to help the pain go away from her chest.

A gentle calloused finger slid up her face and wiped away the tears on either side of her face before cradling her chin in his hand. She opened her eyes.

"It's not the end of the world. When you step on this side of the green room it takes a serious commitment to becoming a champion. Especially a Black champion. There's just me out here at this level right now. There are no Black women. Do you have the discipline and intestinal fortitude of a Serena or Venus Williams? Because that's how the world will come for you."

His eyes held hers and they lost the narrow cunning they displayed earlier. They dropped down to look at her mouth and his left thumb gently stroked her lips.

"If you want this, tell me and I'll help you get it. I promise."

Sabine's legs trembled on the chair. She didn't know if it was from the touch of his thumb on her lips, or the seductive look on his face that made her clit jump in her panties. She was dying to reach across the table and touch his big fluffy lips and a lot more. The heels of her feet pushed down and she leaned forward.

"What are we having for dinner?"

Sabine jerked her head toward the office door. Erik sat back from her.

Deuce stood there watching them, his lips twisted in a slight scowl as he threw daggers at Sabine.

"We're hungry."

"Already? You two should still be full from earlier."

"We want Indian."

Erik looked at her.

"Be right back, I'll bring us something to drink. Coke okay?"

"Yeah."

Erik left the room and Deuce lingered in the doorway.

"Your Dad knows a lot about surfing."

"He's a pro, so he should."

She stood up and admired the trophies again.

"My parents are getting back together."

Sugar stared at Deuce and tried to keep her face from looking flustered.

"That's good."

Deuce folded his arms and continued giving her stink eye until Erik returned with two cans of coke. Sabine took a can from him and sat down quickly to drink it. She could feel Deuce's sharp eyes still on her being judgmental. Could she blame the kid for being protective of his family?

Erik sat on his chair and popped open his can taking a long sip.

Marina wandered in and walked directly to his seat and crawled onto his lap. She pulled the coke can from his fingers and drank it down.

"Greedy," he said giving her a kiss on her cheek which she playfully wiped off.

"You don't like Daddy's kisses?" he teased.

Marina shook her head and Erik puckered up again and gave her another big kiss. The girl giggled and pushed his face away.

"Deuce said y'all hungry."

"We want to eat at the Star of India."

"Okay…Sugar, you want to come with?"

Sabine glanced over at Deuce and the boy's eyes looked annoyed.

"I've taken up enough of your time, and you've given me a lot to think about."

"Star of India ain't no joke…free food too? You betta get with this."

His smile was big, and she could see his gums at the top of his mouth. Marina held the coke can to his lips and he took a sip from her.

Deuce left the doorway in a huff and Erik glanced his way.

"What's wrong with him?" Erik asked Marina.

Marina shrugged.

"He talked to Mom a few minutes ago."

"Why?" Erik asked.

She shrugged again.

"Did he call her?"

"No."

"Go wash up, we'll leave in a little bit," he said.

"Are you coming with us, Sugar?" Marina asked.

Marina's front tooth was growing back and her chubby cheeks were squeezed into a grin. She was literally his twin without dimples watching Sabine.

"Yeah," she said, her eyes on Erik again.

"Getting with the winning team makes you a winner. Indian food, and…how about we go check out the bioluminescence tonight?"

"Can we?" Marina said with an excited hitch in her voice.

Erik lifted her from his lap and shut off his computer.

"Deuce, get ready to go!"

###

Sabine had so much good food in her belly from one day that she unbuttoned the top button on her skirt as they left the Indian restaurant. Walking into the parking lot of the small strip mall, she watched Marina and Deuce hop into the back of Erik's black jeep. Two surfboards hung out the back of it and she smiled. He was too much like her. Ready for any beach action at any time. She climbed into the front seat and glanced back at the children as she fastened her seat belt.

Marina was all patient softness and Deuce was still full of puffed up irritation. He didn't talk very much over their meal, and she was disappointed that he didn't have the exciting chatter like he did at lunch. Erik climbed into the driver's seat. He checked his cell phone and texted someone. Sabine wondered if it was his wife or Dana. She tried not to be obvious as she leaned her head toward him while over-exaggerating the loosening of the seatbelt. He put the cell away and started the car.

They made a turn onto University Blvd heading out of Hillcrest and onto the 163 north freeway leading to La Jolla shores. Traffic was light and they made it past her Alma Mater within fifteen minutes and down the winding street of La Jolla Shores Drive and past the Scripps Institute perched near the sea.

"I can see it!" Marina shouted from the back.

They found parking in the rear of the jammed beach parking lot and after locking up the car, they wandered over onto the sand and stared at the neon-bright blue light dancing across the placid incoming night tide.

"Living things make that," Marina said with awe in her eyes.

Deuce stood next to his sister and his eyes held wonder and he listened attentively as Sabine reminded them of what was happening.

"When will the stink go away?" Deuce asked.

"Well, this particular algae bloom is lasting longer than scientists here expected. We really don't know."

"Is it killing everything in there?" Marina asked with concern in her voice.

"From what I know, it's been killing sea cucumbers, snails, and some fish."

"That's sad. How can something so pretty be so bad?" Marina asked.

"Most algae blooms benefit the ocean, but this one is depleting oxygen in the ocean too and stressing out marine life. No one really knows what causes it. Part of my study in school was to figure out the environmental conditions that create this type of phenomenon. I hope it goes away soon."

They watched a few white male surfers lug longboards out into the water two hundred feet from them.

"Ew, they're going to paddle out into that?" Marina said with her face twisted up in disgust.

"Whoa," Deuce said.

A three-foot wave broke onshore and the normally foamy white water was a brilliant ghostly blue.

"It's toxic to some animals, but what about humans with this much in the water?" Erik asked.

His eyes were on the surfers.

"People with respiratory issues probably shouldn't…Erik…where are you going?"

"No way," Deuce said with a giggle in his throat.

They followed Erik all the way back to the Jeep where he began to strip his clothes off. He stood on the other side of the Jeep away from them where he pulled off his jeans and pulled on his wetsuit.

"Erik, I don't think you should do this," she said.

"Go, Dad!" Deuce encouraged.

Erik grabbed his board and handed his keys and wallet to Sabine.

"Sometimes you gotta throw caution to the wind," he said.

"It'll make you stink," Marina whined as they followed him back to the water.

Erik jogged out with his board and threw it in the water.

"He's crazy," Sabine said.

Erik went far out and a small crowd of people stood near them watching. He stayed away from the other surfers and the wave he caught lifted his board and a spray of neon blue splashed in his face.

"Yuck!" Deuce said.

Sabine groaned with disgust knowing the water must taste terrible with all the organisms floating in it. Erik whipped around the shoulder of a wave and she saw other waves jacking up behind him, the swells growing larger and the glow looking like a scene out of a science fiction movie.

"Will Daddy grow another arm?" Marina asked.

"I hope not," Sabine said.

Deuce took out his cell phone and filmed his Dad as he took off on a four-footer.

"Erik, you should get out now!" she called out to him.

"Mom! Dad is out here clowning!"

Sabine glanced over at Deuce. He was streaming Erik's ride to Calista.

"I'm here with Marina…and Sugar," he said still aiming the phone at the water and Erik.

Erik stepped out of the water dripping wet, and Marina ran up to him to touch his suit.

"Cold out there," he said.

Sabine and Marina followed behind him back the jeep. When she looked behind her, Deuce was still filming them all for his mother.

Erik stood on the side of the jeep again putting his board back. Sabine helped Marina get into the backseat, and Deuce kept filming Erik as he peeled off his wetsuit. Sabine turned her head when he was wearing gray boxer briefs that outlined everything.

"Boy, turn that off," Erik said.

"Mom is watching," Deuce said.

"Turn it off."

There was some bass in his voice.

"Bye, Mom. Dad is acting pissy."

"Get in the car."

Deuce climbed into the backseat. Erik pulled on his pants at the back of the jeep. They were blocked from the view of the children by Erik's two surfboards.

"You're crazy," she said.

Erik sniffed his suit as he dried his arms with a towel.

"That shit smells like…shit."

He stopped using the towel and moved in closer to her.

"This was a great day," he said with a soft voice.

She nodded and turned to walk around the jeep. He slipped his fingers between hers again and pulled her back planting a big wet kiss on her lips. Her nose couldn't take it and she pushed him away.

"You really stink."

She moved away from him before he tried anything else and hopped in the front seat.

As they all waited for him to finish dressing, Sabine touched her lips. Guilt sank into her belly. No matter how attracted she was to him, he had baggage. Two women and two kids. Fastening her seatbelt once more, she glanced back at the children.

Deuce stared at her like he knew what his father had done outside the jeep. Sabine turned away quickly and rubbed her forehead.

Danger.


	12. Love Falls Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik has an unreliable memory, and Sugar puts him on notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, the story is moving along. I don't know how long I can keep doing a chapter a day!

"Won't you be my piece of mind?  
I'll be picking up the pieces just in time  
Lonely in the daylight, lonely in the dark  
Lonely in the hours my thoughts take me apart  
Try to tell you but my heart's too heavy  
My lips decide, but my mind won't let me  
(You won't let me)  
(You won't let me)  
Love me properly or don't love me at all  
Oh, don't you have your heart?  
Just because you're afraid to fall"

Poppy Ajudha—"Love Falls Down"

No one saw him when he fell off the boat.

The Stevens family vacations were always big braggy affairs. Marlon and Tina Stevens chose an exotic locale to take their brood every year, and coastal parts of Mexico became a favorite destination. It was cheap, gorgeous, and not very far away. They plastered pictures of every moment to impress their friends and family on their social media.

It was supposed to be a fun day of sightseeing and whale watching in Cabo San Lucas. Erik was six and just made the age limit to ride on the boat with his family and he was so excited to put on the little life vest and smear sunblock on his face. His mother slathered it on him and his siblings as his father held up an Ipad to film everything.

The seawater had been choppy that day and an hour in, his parents complained that maybe they should've taken them all to play with the dolphins at the dolphin pool because there were no whales in sight. The boat captain kept driving them around with thirty other people on board a small boat searching for humpbacks. Just when they thought all was lost, a woman screamed and pointed south of the boat to a grouping of migrating whales.

That's when it happened.

The rush and scramble of big bodies moving to one side of the boat to get pictures knocked Erik over the side. Not only was he knocked over, but the life vest his mother had snapped on him came undone. The large splashing of fifty-foot leviathans masked the sound of Erik's flailing as he sunk below the surface.

Instead of being frightened, Erik found peace.

His saltwater-filled eyes watched air bubbles from his mouth float up to the surface that was filled with the light of the pale sun. In his peripheral, he saw a large shadowy body swim past him, but he felt no fear. He wasn't under long. Someone grabbed a hold of his arm and yanked him back to the surface.

This was where the story became fuzzy.

When Erik broke the surface gasping for air, there was no one holding him. He could see the boat at least six feet away from him. His mother turned to get his attention and when she saw that he was gone, her eyes darted around until she heard him yell for her. She screamed to wake the devil and other people turned around. One of the tour crew members jumped in the water and grabbed him, pulling him to the safety of the boat and away from the passing whales.

"Oh, God, oh, God!" his mother yelled, clinging to his wet body.

A dark-gray blanket was tossed around him and another crew member used a long pole to snag a hold of his life vest that floated near the side.

"What happened?" his father yelled, looking around frantically for a cause.

"He jumped in," his twelve-year-old sister Yvette claimed.

Erik disputed this with a vigorous shaking of his head.

"Why didn't you say something?" his mother lamented to Yvette as she cradled him in her lap so hard that he had to push back from her so he could breathe.

"I did! But everyone was looking at the whales," Yvette whined, her lips pouting from being blamed for his misfortune.

"He was swimming and then he dived down," said his oldest brother John-John, his big forehead creased with worry.

"Did you jump in?" Tina asked.

"No."

"Yes, you did! You said you saw something in the water and you took off your vest and you jumped in!"

Yvette was adamant.

He saw a light. A glowing greenish-blue hue under the surface and he reached for it. He didn't remember taking off his vest, and he didn't remember jumping in.

Falling.

That's what he felt. Falling into warm waters off the coast of a popular tourist attraction. Falling into a calm peaceful light.

He wanted to stay there, falling in that light, falling inside the deep of the ocean.

Erik spent the rest of his life searching for that calm in the water…

Her eyes were solemn by the time Erik drove them all back to the tri-level.

His children talked about the bioluminescence in the water and Deuce played back cell phone footage for Marina to look at. Sugar stared out of the passenger side window quiet as a church mouse. Once they were back in Mission Beach, he sent the children to their rooms to get dressed for bed.

"Give me a minute," he said to Sugar.

He made his way to his room and showered, changing into comfortable dark sweatpants and a sleeveless t-shirt. He found Sugar standing with her knapsack on her shoulder by the front door when he sauntered down the stairs. He handed her another paper he printed up for her. She looked at the names and numbers on the sheet.

"These are names of nutritionists I've worked with, chiropractors, food companies with pre-planned meals for athletes, and some other stuff. Bruce is on there too. You'll need a personal trainer. I'll talk to him about not charging an arm and a leg for you as a favor…"

Her eyes scanned all the information he shared on the paper.

"There's a lot on here," she said.

"Elite athletes have to have the best. Use me as a reference and you'll get hooked up. I'll make some calls in the morning to let most of them know you're my protégé."

She raised her head up when she heard that. Those soulful brown eyes of hers were shiny and made him feel protective of her. He stepped closer to her and she moved back. Her eyes dropped away from his.

"I want to keep this professional," she said.

He tilted his head.

"Okay."

"You have a wife and a whole ass girlfriend and I'm getting mixed signals being around you. Deuce said you are getting back with Calista—"

"Deuce? When did he say this?"

"Earlier today…in your office"

"We're not getting back together."

"I don't like being in other people's messy relationships. I can't—"

"Listen to me. I will be getting a divorce."

"When?"

"Our situation isn't a simple quickie divorce. It's complicated and is taking some time because of my children."

"Is that what you tell your girlfriend too?"

Her voice wasn't catty. She was fishing for details. Feeling her way around him.

"Step outside," he said opening the front door.

She followed him onto the side of the patio area. The moonlight on her face made her skin look like dark satin and he wanted to touch her so bad. The bare skin on her shoulders enticed him to place his full lips there and kiss away any doubts she had about him feeling her so hard.

She was right though.

His life was a fucking soap opera.

Calista was a nightmare with the breakup. It was the reason why he was moving slowly with the divorce proceedings. She came unhinged when he first left her and it took her a year to get used to not being up under him. It took months for her to agree to equal co-parenting time with him. She almost came unglued when he unfollowed all of her social media and blocked her from viewing any of his. He was smart enough to get a prenup with the urging of his mother who was a lawyer and drew up the papers herself. He wanted to wait until the following year to push the divorce move forward. In his mind, the children would be fully adjusted and it would be easier to untangle himself from their mother.

And Dana…

He felt the turmoil in his stomach as he looked at Sugar.

He tried to put his finger on the slippery slope trigger that was drawing him to her. It was like being high. He was under the influence of her intoxicating personality. His daughter was crazy about her, she came from a supportive loving family, and she loved the water just as much as he did.

He was falling again.

Just like he did as a six-year-old boy falling in love with the sea.

Like a siren's call, Sugar had him swept up and he didn't want to let her go. He would fight anything that tried to lift him up and away from her.

"Dana and I are not serious. What can I tell you? It's companionship. I'm alone and trying my best to create a new home for my children and for myself. At the end of the day, I'm a man. I have needs. You can understand that, right?"

"I have needs too. I need to become a champion. A respected champion. Not just some random Black woman who surfs. I'm tired of people taking pictures of me and my friends like we are some cute little anomalies out here. I want people to know my name. Just like you. I have what it takes to be that champion. I want a wall full of big-time trophies like you. I want a big fucking house on the beach. I want to eat fancy food every day when I feel like it just like you. You broke it down for me today and I admit, I felt inferior compared to Deena and Kalani and Sammi…all those women who have been sponsored and pampered and looked up too. I want to see my big ass fro on the cover of a surf magazine like you…"

She wiped her eyes as a few tears squeezed out.

"That's just the glitz side of it, Sugar. Why do you need to be a champion?"

"Why did you want to be one?"

"I didn't need to be one. I needed to surf. I needed to ride the waves for the rest of my days."

Irritation crossed her face.

"But you must've wanted to be a champ because you went pro so young. You wanted to be the best in the world."

He smiled then.

"The best surfer in the water is the one having the most fun. You know that."

A small smile broke out on her lips.

"You've been having a fucking ball then," she quipped.

He laughed out loud and the tightness in his chest eased up.

"Let me build you a team, Ma. We'll keep our relationship professional. Do what I say and the sky's the limit. Pinky swear."

He held out his right pinky finger toward her. She looked at his finger then hooked her pinky with his. They snapped fingers afterward.

"Goodnight," she said.

"Night."

He thought she would leave right away but she stood there for a moment looking at him and then she turned to face the night time breaking surf. The continual sound of small swells at fifteen-second intervals became white noise at any other time, but now, she made him notice the power of nature at work once more, the continual cycle of water sweeping in and then sweeping back out.

"I like you," she said.

The admission sounded like guilt. The shakiness in her voice made him step closer so he could hear her clearly.

"I like your kids. Even Deuce and his aggy ass."

He chuckled.

"I like you too."

"I just needed to say that, out in the open so it doesn't become this thing…y'know…the elephant or gorilla in the room. I was a fan for a long time. But now that I know you as a real person… I like you even more. That's as far as I want it to go."

He gave a hard exhale.

"I can handle that."

"That's the only way this will work."

"Bet."

She lingered and he was glad for it.

"Should we meet again to start making a schedule or something for training….?" She asked.

Her eyes stayed on the water.

"Let's meet on Friday at Colin's facility. I'll text you the address. We can put together a program for you and…"

He pulled out his cell phone and checked a surf report site.

"Some big swells are expected around Black's Beach on Friday. Let's meet there at six and then we can go to Colin's after. I'll have Bruce and Colin come to Black's to watch you handle some doubleheaders too."

She took a deep breath.

"Okay. Friday. See you there."

"Let's meet on Salk Canyon Road."

"Cool. I'm out."

She walked out of the patio gate and he watched her move around his house. When she turned down the side street, she glanced at him and waved.

He saw her VW make a U-turn on the street and he walked back into his home taking the stairs fast. He went to the second floor and knocked on Deuce's closed bedroom door.

"We need to talk," he said.

He heard Deuce shuffle over and then there was a long pause.

"Open up."

"Yeah?"

Deuce's eyes looked hard and his lips were a grim line when he finally cracked the door open.

"Can I come in?"

Deuce walked away from him and took a seat on his double bed in the corner near a large picture window that overlooked the house across from them.

"You told Sugar that your Mom and I were getting back together. You know that's not true. Why would you tell her that?"

"You might—"

"We aren't."

"Things could change. You guys have been getting along. Mom is happier."

"She's happier because we are not together and fighting. Did your Mom tell you to tell Sugar that?"

"No. I thought she should know in case she tried anything."

"Tried what?"

"Tried pushing up on you…like she was trying to do in your office. I saw you holding her hand. I don't want a Stepmother—"

"Who's getting a Stepmother?"

Marina walked in holding her Black Barbie surf doll.

"No one, baby girl," Erik said making space for his daughter.

"She could be a gold digger. Mom says that's what women are when they get around you—"

"Who's a gold digger?"

"Sugar—"

"Hey! Shut your mouth," Erik snapped.

Marina's face scrunched up.

"That's not true! She's nice. She's my friend, Daddy—"

"She is!"

"Go to your room, Marina. I'll come over there in a minute."

His baby girl's lip trembled.

"You're just being mean. You're jealous that I have friends here now and you don't!" She shouted.

"Shut up!"

Deuce threw a pillow at Marina and Erik caught it before it struck her.

"Go on. Give me five minutes," Erik said.

Marina stuck her tongue out and ran out of the room. Erik dropped the pillow back on Deuce's bed. His son's eyes wouldn't look directly at him.

"You're worried about me getting re-married or seeing someone new?"

"You're home with us now. I don't understand why you and Mom can't work out your problems. She said you guys broke up because you were gone all the time. But now you're here. You should work—"

"Stop. Your mother and I didn't break up just because I wasn't around—"

"I know you cheated on her."

Erik's neck jerked back.

"Who told you that?"

"Mom. Is it true?"

Deuce would be fourteen soon enough. Tell the truth and shame the devil.

"I did."

Deuce struck Erik in the chest twice, fast and hard. Erik took the two hits and then grabbed the boy's hands.

"Why would you do that to her? She loves you! Why did you ruin everything?!"

He burst into tears and Erik pulled his son in for a hug.

"I'm sorry, Deuce—"

"Mom is beautiful and people like her—"

"Looks and people liking her have nothing to do with why I should stay or even why I cheated."

"Why did you do it, Dad?"

Deuce's chest shuddered and his hot tears soaked Erik's t-shirt.

"Why is he crying?"

Marina slipped back into the room with her doll clutched against her chest.

"Deuce?" she whispered.

"It's okay, baby girl," Erik said.

"No it's not, it's not…" Deuce wailed.

Marina ran over to them and pressed her face against her brother's.

Erik's heart fell to the floor and he hugged his children tight.


	13. To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine has to show Erik and his team what she's got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again! Still rolling through!

"There's something that I see in you  
That I see in myself  
But I'm nervous  
I'm still talking  
Tryna be myself  
And I got time for you  
So much time for you  
How'd I lose myself?  
You're winning  
So are you able and ready and willing  
To be mine…"

Rachel Foxx—"To You"

Don't meet your heroes.

Sabine read that in a book once.

She only had three in her life.

Eartha Kitt. Sister Rosetta Tharpe. Killmonger.

Two were long dead and the only living one was standing on the beach with a bullhorn yelling at her to do better as tripleheader bombs knocked her down and raked her over water that felt like someone was beating her with bricks. She was exhausted, dehydrated, and fighting to catch waves with a slew of other surfers who were well aware of what the surf reports predicted days before: massive sets.

The south winds were making the water choppy and there were too many kooks in the water. She had to bail on too many take-offs because some amateur paddled too close to her and she had to prevent the fins on the bottom of her board from slicing their bodies. Luckily, many of those jokers withdrew from the water when they couldn't handle the swells or the constant beating of white water as it crashed on top of them.

Sabine could see Colin filming her as he stood in the water near the shore with a waterproof recorder and Bruce sat down on a beach chair assessing her physical prowess. A lot of the surfers there, the ones in the know, were jazzed to see Erik out and about. He had his wetsuit and shortboard with him, but he refused to go in with so much crowded water. There were already a few photographers there trying to catch epic pics and many of them took candid shots of Erik. He ignored it, but she could tell he was irritated when he watched her suit up on the beach. He caught her slipping her fingers inside of her bikini top to adjust her pierced nipples from snagging on the cups. That seemed to draw his ire away from the photographers for a few seconds. If only he knew about the third piercing she had that only a few boyfriends knew about.

She floated in a cumbersome spot in the surfer line up beyond the swell waiting for her turn to take off. She didn't have to wait long, the intervals were fast, and the more experienced surfers were going off because the waves were macking hard. The sun was blooming in the sky at eight in the morning, and she glanced over at Erik who stood there on the sand with arms folded gripping that damn bullhorn.

"Sugar!"

Tadpole, one of Sabine's surf buddies from Ocean Beach shouted to her. She glanced behind him and saw what he saw and began paddling fast. She hit the lip of the wave and planned to drop to the right.

"Fuck!" she shouted letting water spray into her mouth as she realized too late that the whole wall of the wave was breaking at once and she had nowhere to slide across. She bailed on the ride covering her head with her hands and making her body a tight ball to protect herself from her board and other surfers. She turtled her board several times fighting her way back to the line of other surfers. Her body and board took a pounding as she clung to it and spun on her back to let the giant waves crash above her as she dived underwater. When she made it back beyond the swells, her buddy Tadpole looked wiped.

"I'm done," he said.

He and several other experienced surfers paddled away from the incoming sets and headed to shore.

"Sugar! Look alive!" Erik yelled through the bullhorn.

"Shut up!" she yelled back knowing he couldn't hear her from so far away.

She glanced at her watch. She'd been out for two hours. The waves were getting bigger and her nerves were getting frazzled. She felt closed in, unable to do her thing with so many people out on the water. She counted at least fifteen men, and four other women.

More surfers were heading in. It was too much for them.

After waiting a good fifteen minutes for some decent waves, a chill tickled the back of her neck and she saw a great set rolling in. She positioned herself by another female surfer who looked hesitant when she glanced back.

Fuck the order. Sabine was going to snatch Neptune bald on this run. Shit was looking glassy too? Perfection.

Her arms dug deep and she shot forward. Popping-up in a fluid motion allowed the wave to lift her up and then she ground her weight down on her board. Body aligned, legs the perfect distance, Sabine projected herself and for a single breath of time she looked down…like down down…like…holy shit how-fucking-high-am-I?

The water was so pristine, so glassy green, so clean-looking and perfect that she felt like it wasn't real. Until her board dipped and she waited too long to push down on the rails. It dropped down without her feet being on it and she fell over the side. Sabine felt like she was tumbling over a cliff and she prayed that she didn't break anything on the way down.

Slamming on the wall of water that bent into a tube she would never glide through, she was flipped several times on the surface before she even felt herself submerge. The tiny pocket of air she was able to gulp would have to last her for at least eight seconds. The washover was relentless. When she could pop her head above the surface again, she inhaled a larger amount of air and got pounded by another wave. She concentrated on remaining calm. Her leash tugged on her leg and she felt the weight of her board still attached to her. Her feet touched the bottom and she pushed herself up again, allowing herself to be carried by the current. White water surrounded her at the surface and she snatched up her board. Her wet hair flopped above her eyebrows and she shook her curls feeling the sand move under her feet.

Looking behind her, she could see a dozen fellow surfers getting totally slammed and picked off one by one by the massive clean-up set of six consecutive waves.

She was done.

That's when Erik went in.

As other surfers continued to get bombed, Sabine watched Erik paddle around the shoulder. She tumbled back with her board and just sat her ass down in the wet sand thankful that nothing was fractured or broken on her body. Tadpole came and sat next to her.

"That's fucking Killmonger," he said in awe, his thin curly brunette hair plastered to his scalp.

"Yeah, I know."

"He was yelling at you. You know him?"

"Yeah," she said pulling off her wetsuit.

The waves were all over twenty feet now, had to be, and Erik took his place far out in the water.

"Not bad out there, Sugar," Colin said strolling past her with his board. His dark eyes danced across her face and that megawatt smile of his made her swoon a bit. He had one of Erik's Stingray brand fast boards. He wore dark trunks and a red spandex rash guard shirt. He was smooth paddling out and once he made it out to Erik, a real show began.

"There he goes," Tadpole said.

Sabine felt her heart thump harder as she watched Erik negotiate a twenty-footer like it was a baby wave she had her surf camp girls practice on. Her eyes went all fangirly watching him drop down into the hollow curve of the large wave, his body crouching low and skimming back up to the top of the crest. He grabbed the right-side rail and did a small aerial, before carving into the tube, his feet moving toward the front of the board, essentially turning on the gas pedal.

Sabine stood up then and held her hands over her head, watching every move he made, trying to memorize it.

Erik rode back up the wave causing buckets of spray to go everywhere, wetting his face to cool himself.

"This nigga is J. Dilla out there, smooth as fuck," she murmured to herself.

Resplendent.

That was the only word that came to her mouth watching him do his thing.

To see him up close and in person was an honor and she could feel the young teenaged girl she used to be come alive with butterflies all in her belly. The wave killer was…beautiful.

The crest of the wave fell around him, but Erik slid through the barrel and made it back over the shoulder before Colin came gunning through on an equally impressive wall of water. Both men tag-teamed turns until another hour had passed. By then, she had moved herself and her board over near Bruce.

"Here, eat and drink this," Bruce said.

He handed her a clear drink filled with electrolytes and a plastic meal container filled with a cold sesame tofu salad. She gulped down the fluid and wolfed down the salad with the biodegradable fork that came with it. The carbs and protein smoothed her blood sugar.

Erik and Colin were schooling her on techniques and timing, and she was an apt pupil taking it in as she gazed at them, her mouth partially open as she marveled at the level of mastery. They made it look easy. Erik looked like he was having fun. At one point he and Colin charged down the same A-Frame wave break. Erik bottomed right and Colin bottomed left on it.

Sabine took in how they negotiated certain waves, trying to read their minds as to why they let certain waves pass when they looked good to her at those heights.

By the time they left the water, Sabine's stomach growled. Bruce laughed.

"You heard that?"

"All the way over here."

She rubbed her stomach.

Erik and Colin grabbed drinks and salads for themselves inside the cooler next to Bruce's chair. Scarfing down the food, both men kept their eyes on the waves breaking.

"Shit might jack up higher," Erik said.

When he was done eating, Erik stripped from his wetsuit and Sabine wasn't shy about watching him do it. Colin took off his rash guard and his rock hard abs made Sabine bite her bottom lip. She wished she was bold enough to take out her cell and snap a picture of both of them to send to Yolanda and Asia. She hated using food terms to describe the brothas, but Lord help her being in the presence of sun-kissed dark caramel and rich dark chocolate goodness. Beach porn. That's what it was. Tacky thoughts of masturbation floated through her head and she blew soft air out of her mouth when she saw the slight bulge in Colin's skin-tight trunks when he stretched his back.

Erik caught her looking at Colin and her eyes darted toward the plastic bottle in her hand as she twisted the lid back on it. Face heated, she closed her eyes for a second.

Damn. Openly caught eye fucking a dude.

But why not?

Colin was single. No kids, as far as she knew, and the kicker…he loved Black women. Openly. Who cared if she admired his physique? She caught him checking her out when she stripped down to her bathing suit. They were grown. Unattached. Childfree.

Dick had been a scarce commodity for Sabine.

Her last boyfriend had been a prick. Verbally caustic with their interactions to the point of her cursing him out every time they got together because he ran his mouth too much over stupid shit. Picked on how she dressed and how she wore her hair. He hated her beach lifestyle, called it slovenly living, and he wanted her to move in with him.

She was lame for staying with him but the sex had been so good and his Mama made bomb ass mac and cheese with salmon croquettes. She spent more time with Jamon's Mama and Daddy than she did with him, and two months ago she told him that she was actually dating and having a more serious relationship with his parents as a play daughter. She ended it. But was petty enough to still hang out with his folks even though he was dating a Korean girl from their University now. His Mama was just as petty, having her over for mac and cheese and salmon croquettes while the new girlfriend sat at the same table. Sabine's last word's to Jamon were "We cousins now, nigga. See you at Christmas." And she took a to-go plate home.

Her eyes danced across Colin's heavenly form again, Erik be damned.

Professional.

If Colin was going to be part of her team, then she had to be professional with him too. This was a new venture for all of them, and she couldn't mess it up…yet. She was feeling the man. He was just as confident and arrogant as Erik. Just as sexy. Sans baggage. Staring at Colin's lips all she could think was "What dat mouf do?"

Her kitty was acting up in her bikini bottoms and she stopped staring at Colin. She could feel Erik's eyes on her and he looked none too happy when she glanced over at him again. She sighed. If only he were free.

"I need to feed you," Colin said.

Sabine clutched at her stomach. The rumbling there was embarrassing.

"I owe you some Sushi."

"That you do," she purred.

His eyes seemed to twinkle and his lips quirked when she said it like that.

Long game, girl. Don't act desperate. Pussy jumping, but he didn't need to know that all too soon she told herself.

That mouth though…

"Let's get over to Surfgeist. Bruce has some things to go over with you. I do too."

Erik stood in front of Colin and handed her another drink.

"We should go eat first," Colin suggested.

"Not Sushi," Erik said, "she's in training now."

"One Sushi meal won't mess her up. She's just getting started."

Colin stared at Erik like he was being ridiculous. Bruce jumped in.

"I'll hook her up at Surfgeist. The daily meal plans the nutritionist put together for her are outlined in a folder there. Fran is waiting for us with lunch. We can go over the footage you took and eat clean this afternoon," Bruce said packing up his chair and other belongings.

"You brought work-out gear?" Erik asked.

"Yeah, in my van."

"Good. Bruce has an hour session planned for you."

Colin looked disappointed.

"Next time," Colin said.

Colin pulled a dry t-shirt on. Sabine slipped a dark blue tube top over her bikini top and unfastened the swimsuit pulling it off. Sliding on knee-length board shorts, her eyes stayed on Erik's. Block much?

Stuffing her loose items in her beat-up military green knapsack, Sabine grabbed her board and followed Colin back up the path to their cars.

"You did pretty well out there," Colin said.

"She got her ass beat," Erik said from behind.

"True, but she was up for the challenge," Colin replied with a gentle laugh.

"Thanks for the support, Coach," Sabine tossed back at Erik.

She followed Erik's Acura back over to the Mission Bay Aquatic Park where they parked not too far from the Mission Bay Aquatics Center. Sabine, Yolanda, and Asia went through a training session at the Aquatics center in order to receive their certification to teach surfing back in the Fall. She was familiar with the area.

Colin and Bruce's building was a large modern structure that could be mistaken for a high-tech Silicon Valley facility. Facing the gorgeous Bay water, Sabine stepped out of her van and followed the men into the building.

Erik was immediately greeted by a white woman with a natural bronze tan and peeling skin on her freckled nose. Two other men, one Black, and one Latino stepped over too.

"Sugar, this is Fran, your brand-new nutritionist. That's Lamar, your kick-boxing trainer, and that's Arturo your new swimming coach."

"Great to finally meet you in person, Sugar," Fran said.

"Hey," Lamar greeted waving to her.

"Hola," Arturo said.

"Que onda?" she said.

"Viviendo bien."

"I know that's right," she said looking around the place.

"Let's get her fed, and then we can get into it," Erik said.

He placed his hand on Sabine's lower back leading her gently to a meeting room where a nice spread of food was laid out for everyone.

Sabine felt nervous then. The cost of everything was adding up in her mind. Three different trainers, a coach, a personal nutritionist. The money value in labor sitting in that space was intimidating. Erik was covering all of it.

A thick gray folder with her name on it sat next to a plate of food. Sabine took that spot. Erik sat across from her and Bruce sat at the head of the table. Colin sat right next to her.

"This is Asian chicken fried rice with veggies. 31.2 grams of protein, 5.2 grams of fat, 34.2 grams of carbs…"

Sabine tucked in and ignored Fran's rundown. She was starving. Everyone else joined her as Fran smiled wide.

"Slow down," Colin said touching her hand, "we'll be here for a few hours. No need to rush your eating. Enjoy it."

She popped a piece of chicken in her mouth and savored the flavors and the textures in the meal. It was so good that she ignored Colin's words and stuffed more in her mouth.

Halfway through the meal, Colin turned on an LCD projector and connected his video recorder to a laptop. Bruce pulled down a screen on the opposite side of the room and they all watched the footage of Sabine surfing big waves. There were quite a few oohs and ahhs, and a lot of deep groans. She felt like she was in the hot seat as she watched Erik's face. His brow was creased and his lips were tight as he studied the footage.

"Damn," she sighed when she saw the image of herself falling from the giant wave that knocked her about and made her quit for the rest of the day. It looked brutal seeing herself fall. She hung in the actual air for a few seconds, and Erik had Colin run it again. A collective "Ohhhh!" rang out as they saw it again.

Bruce stood in front of the freeze-frame of her looking ungraceful as she plunged toward her doom upside down.

"Sabine, we need to work on your upper body strength. As a former surfer myself, I know what it takes to get out there, and your upper body strength makes all the difference. I know you're considering tow-in surfing too, so that's why we brought in Arturo to help train you on handling being under for a long time with all that weight on top of you…"

Sabine sat there a listened to Fran talk about her new diet when Bruce was done talking. They all went through the folder together, and Sabine saw her food bill going up in order to keep up with what she needed to change her body and feed it what it needed as a full-time competitor. Six times a day she would be eating, but she didn't have to cook it all herself. Fran was connected to a company that pre-made the food that was in the folder. If she wanted to, she could have all her meals delivered to save time and energy, or, if she had the time the folder had all the recipes with pictures listed.

Lamar talked about the kickboxing program he would put her on and then Arturo jumped in with planned trips to the Bay and Beach to work on strength training and also getting her lung capacity holding her breath up. Colin closed it out by telling her how he would train her on a tow-in surfboard and buoy vest.

She sat there and saw the world Erik lived in.

"Before we go any further, can I take a shower?" she asked.

She'd been wanting to take one the moment she arrived but she was buzzing with excitement too. Her skin felt itchy and she had scratched the heck out of her legs still covered in dried salt water.

"You can use my office private shower," Bruce said.

She ran out to her car to get a change of clothes along with deodorant.

Bruce's office was on the second floor. He left her alone and she quickly cleaned up her body and hair. Twisting her curls into two knots on her head with rubber bands, she stared at herself in the fogged-up mirror. Wiping her right hand across the mirror to look at her face clearly, she heard a voice inside Bruce's office.

Pressing her ear against the thick red bathroom door, she heard Erik.

"Dana, I'm not fucking playing with you!"

The bass in his voice made her shiver. She packed up her toiletries and clothing and walked out into the room.

Erik's eyes swept over her and he turned away from her with his cell phone.

"I wish you would!"

He swiped his phone and turned toward her.

"Ready," she said.

She wore a yellow sports bra and blue striped shorts for her short session with Lamar. Erik's face looked stressed.

"Erik, you've given a lot to me in a short period of time. I'm going to work really hard to be worthy of your time. I appreciate everything you're doing. Also, I'm sorry for telling you to shut up on the video. I didn't know Colin caught that."

She tried to make him laugh with that last part. He gave her a weak smile, but the softness of it didn't reach his eyes. They looked worn out and so tired. In fact, he looked like he was about to cry.

He stepped forward and pulled her in for a deep hug.

"Your appreciation is the only thanks I need, Sugar."

His chest shuddered against hers.

"It's bad at home, huh?" she whispered in his ear.

She let her arms rest around his waist. The faint traces of the cologne she smelled in his bathroom lingered on his neck. She took a deep inhale of it and closed her eyes.

"Nothing I can't handle," he said.

He pulled back from her and she caught his left hand wiping at his eye quickly.

"Let's get you out there with Lamar," he said.

"I'm a good listener, Erik," she said.

"Lamar's waiting," he said walking out of Bruce's office.

She followed him out and he answered his cell phone again.

"Hey, Deuce, w'sup?"

Lamar met her at the bottom of the steps.

"Ready to do a screening round?" Lamar asked.

"Yep."

"Great. Let's get you taped up and gloved up."

Sabine glanced up at Erik on the second floor. He seemed to be listening and doing very little talking. As she passed by Colin talking to Bruce, his eyes were on Erik too. He looked just as concerned as her.

She took a deep breath. It was none of her business.

Professional.

But he smelled so damn good…


	14. Buying Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik takes an important step...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still burning through this!

"Feels like I'm buying more time  
So keep grooving  
And don't stop  
What you're doing  
I'm buying more time  
'Cause I need an overdose of that

And tell me you're mine  
Mine  
You're mine  
You're mine  
And tell me you're mine  
Mine  
You're mine  
You're mine  
Tell me you're mine"

Lucky Daye – "Buying Time"

"Deuce doesn't want to stay with me anymore. He told Calista he'd rather live with her permanently."

Erik leaned back in the driver's seat of his Acura in the Surfgeist parking lot with Colin in the passenger seat. Sugar was still inside working with Lamar, and he needed to get some air and talk to his best friend.

"Did he say why?"

"Calista…fuck… Calista told him I cheated on her and he thinks that's why we broke up. I told him I wasn't getting back with his Mom and it tore him up. I didn't think he was holding out for that to happen. I thought we had reached a good place where he accepted the way things were."

Erik looked over at Colin.

"I held my child in my arms while he cried his heart out. I didn't think he was ever going to stop. Deuce has always been cool, never overly emotional about most things, but man….when I tell you I felt like shit. I told him the truth and had to watch him…"

Erik pounded his right fist on the steering wheel, hitting the horn by accident.

"What are you going to do?"

Colin's eyes were thoughtful but cut Erik no slack.

"I'm not going to force him to stay with me. When it's my time to have them, I'll ask him to come with me and if he doesn't want to, I'll just wait. Maybe he'll change his mind. I dunno man. I'm hurt."

"How does Marina feel?"

"She doesn't know about the cheating. Deuce won't tell her that. I don't think her Mom will either. She just thinks her big brother is homesick…man, don't give me that look…"

Colin's eyes gave him a dead-eye stare.

"I told you not to marry her. Have your kids, but Calista…dog. She has always been a piece of work—"

"Nigga don't start—"

"This is your own fault. You've never been marriage material. You told me that you were going to be a professional bachelor. You had it all dog. Bitches all over the globe. But you fucked up by getting married…and still having bitches all over the globe. Now your son knows you got loose dick and his Moms won't hide that from him anymore."

"You're supposed to give me a better pep talk than this."

"You clownin'. Deuce has every right to shun you nigga. You dirty. Always have been and always will. You still seeing her?"

"Who?"

"Valeria."

Erik cut his eyes to the windshield.

"See? Ain't nothin' changed. You got the honey in Del Mar, and you're flying your Spanish IG babe in whenever you leave the country…twist up your big ass lips all you want, but you set yourself up for failure with all this pussy you juggling. I bet you're still fucking with that blackfishing Swedish chick too, huh? Is it that good nigga?"

Erik tilted his head and squinted his eyes.

"You ain't shit," Colin spat slapping Erik's arm.

Colin chuckled and stretched his legs.

"Get divorced man. You won't live right until you do. Deuce will come around. Give him space and time away. He'll miss his Daddy and want to come back."

"I hope so. I depend on that little yella nigga. Deuce and Marina are the only things I live for in this world…"

From the corner of his eye, he saw Sugar walk outside the building with Lamar and Bruce. They stopped at the entrance to talk. Colin saw her too.

"Wait, you're checking out Sugar? You?"

"I'm just looking at them."

"Since when do you check for women like her?"

"Don't start—"

"I'm serious. That's not your lane. You already got a lot of dip on your chip nigga. Leave the Queens to me."

"She's off-limits."

"Off-limits for who? I know you not flapping your gums."

"Sugar is here to work. Not get worked."

"Shit, she can get this work from me anytime. I know she's a big ole freak too."

"How would you know?"

"You didn't see her tube top? Dog, she got nipple piercings…in both titties. I could see the barbells poking out."

"You were looking that hard?"

"Nigga, look at her. She's smart and funny, but damn…"

Colin balled up his fists and made a growling noise in his throat.

"I want her to hurt me."

Colin stared at her and stroked his well-groomed beard. It made Erik uncomfortable.

"Chill, dude."

"I'm going to stay cool, man. I'm here to make her a world-class surfer and unlike you, I know how to stay in my lane. Jesus…legs for days…"

Erik reached over and punched Colin in the arm.

"You need to start recognizing her God-given talents and be a lot more positive with your critiques," Colin urged.

"I give her constructive criticism on her abilities—"

"Erik, Sugar is a gifted athlete on the water. She needs more professional experience and she needs to work in better surf conditions. You come off too rough with her. Overly critical. When does she leave for Indo?"

"Three weeks."

"We should take her to Nusa Dua with us—"

"Nah…are you…that's our spot to…are you high right now?"

"I know it's your personal playground, but it would be smart to get her out there to surf some of those waves before she competes."

Erik shook his head vigorously.

"You gotta take her somewhere else for the big waves and the space to practice, man. There are other secret spots we can go to. Think about it. There's not a lot of time. Why would you set her up with potential success and not follow through on it? Why are you doing this anyway?"

"She's got something. And she's in a unique position to be a star in this sport. There's this swag about her. She's aggressive out there and she's hungry to win."

"Sounds like someone I know."

Sugar walked over to his car and he rolled down the window further.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah just talking about you," he said.

"Good stuff I hope."

Sugar's skin glowed with a slight sheen of sweat on her face from the hot sun. She unraveled the two twisted knots from her hair and fluffed out the curls. She had her tube top on again and Erik couldn't help it, his eyes dropped down to look at the swelling of her breasts and he saw the strain of her nipples against the thin stretchy cloth along with the indentations of metal piercings. He shifted his weight in his seat and looked away quickly.

"Talking about your schedule for next week that we discussed."

"I'll see my primary care physician and get my physical done next week."

"Good."

"See you guys next Thursday. I'm going to order some food from the meal plan and get that started."

"No sodas, no hard liquor, and stay away from processed juices."

"Got it, Coach. Anything else?"

Her eyes were so big and bright and eager. He felt like he was drowning in them. She was standing close to his car and he was grateful that there was a barrier between them. Erik fought the urge to reach out and touch her skin. Her lush lips parted and she leaned into the window.

"Thanks for all your help today too, Colin. I'm excited about trying the tow board next week."

Colin leaned over Erik and held out his fist.

"We'll build you from the bottom up," he said.

Sugar bumped fists with Colin and then stood tall slinging her knapsack on her shoulder.

"Later," she said.

She walked away and Erik watched her from his rearview mirror getting into her van.

"Were you holding your breath just now?" Colin asked.

"Nah—"

"Man, you are…."

Colin just leaned back in the cut and stared at him with a big ole grin on his face.

"I'll keep my comments to myself. Handle your home life before you go fishing again. That's all I'm going to say."

"Get out of my car."

Colin stepped out of the Acura and bent down to look in the window.

"Breathe, nigga."

"Fuck you."

###

He made sure they met in a public place.

The restaurant hostess at A. R. Valentien restaurant inside the Lodge in Torrey Pines led him to an outdoor patio that overlooked the Torrey Pines Golf Course. Calista picked the whitest place to dine just to make sure he didn't act his color if she pissed him off.

He dressed casual summer chic, Italian-made black slacks, and a knitted black summer shirt. Diamond earrings in his ears paired with a slender gold chain his children bought him for his last birthday, along with a black and gold Movado watch on his left wrist.

Calista was already knocking back a glass of red wine and he could tell by her eyes that she was ready to let him have it. She had new fillers in her cheeks and lips and she had stopped using the spray tan mess that made her look older than her thirty-five years. Her blonde hair was cut in a shorter chic style and she spent a pretty penny on the new plum dress that accentuated her pale bare shoulders.

A menu was placed in his hand and the hostess made hard eye contact with him, her hand lightly touching the back of his chair.

"Would you like anything from the bar?" the woman asked, tossing back her chestnut brown hair.

"A glass of your best red," he said.

When the woman left, Erik wasted no time.

"Why the fuck would you tell Deuce about Valeria?"

"Oh, that's her name?"

Calista sipped on her wine. She kept her glass in her hand.

"Grown folks business is grown folks business—"

"Is it? Is it, Erik?!"

She slammed the glass of wine down.

Erik glanced around. They were alone in their corner of the patio. It was still early in the afternoon. He saw four other coupled groups spread out on the other side. He glanced at the golf course and drew in a calming breath. A fresh wine glass was placed in front of him by their waiter, a young ginger with perfectly coifed waves in his hair. They ordered food and Erik waited until they were alone again before he spoke.

Calista reached into her Birkin and pulled out her cell.

"It's all over the place," she hissed.

He looked at her phone.

Pictures.

Valeria rubbing her ass on his crotch and him thrusting back into her and giving horny looks.

"And this bitch," she said scrolling again.

The Coach launch party for the winter coats he was hawking. The private party he claimed that he was going to skip so he could visit an ill family member back east. He was snapped with his New York situation. Another swipe of the finger and there was a photo he hadn't seen of himself and his Swedish side piece. Kissing.

He took a deep sip of his wine. All the photos were recent. That was his only defense. But she knew he was dicking down other women prior to him leaving her in La Jolla.

"I could deal with this shit when it was far away, but this…this Erik!"

She went to her text messages and pulled up a video. Pressed play.

Dana's flat ass red with his handprints bounced on his dick in the guest bedroom of the house he once lived in.

"Fuck my pussy hard!" Dana whimpered on the cell phone screen.

"Turn it off," he snapped, grabbing for the phone.

Calista's eyes turned icy as she snatched it away from him.

"Our realtor. The woman who sold us our house. Sold you the fucking house you live in now. Screwing that whore in our bed—"

"We weren't in our bed—"

"It was a goddamned bed in our house!"

"Lower your voice."

His eyes darted behind her. A few people were watching them. Their waiter brought them their food. He tried to eat in order to focus.

"She sent this to me. Let me read to you what she said—"

"I don't need to—"

"Thought you might like to know that Erik and I have been in a relationship since you moved here. He loves my pussy. Look how he destroys it."

He closed his eyes.

Focus.

"Deuce is who we need to worry about."

"He hates you."

"He's mad at me. He has every right to be mad. I hurt his Mom."

"How can we rebuild our family when this is all over the internet?"

"We are not rebuilding a family. I want a divorce."

Her eyes blinked rapidly and he saw the tears welling up in her eyes.

"You don't want that. This is a rough patch."

"I want a divorce. I don't want to be married to you. I don't want to be with you anymore—"

"I will fight you in court. I will take everything from you—"

"What more do you want? You live in a house that's paid for. Cash money paid for. I give you an allowance that most women would give an arm and a leg for. The kids are covered for life. You have everything you need—"

"I need you!"

She burst into tears and their waiter came over to their table.

"Is everything alright?"

Erik gave the man a hard look and he scampered off.

"This isn't the place to be talking about this. I'm sorry about the pictures. Dana was being a bitch with the video. I didn't know she filmed that before you and the kids moved in. She's being vindictive because I broke it off with her."

"Why?"

"Why are you asking that?"

"Why break it off with her? You found someone new?"

"That isn't important—"

"Are you fucking Sugar?"

"No!"

She swiped her phone again and shoved it in his face.

"Front page. Epic swells at Black's Beach and lo and behold who's all up under you now."

He stared at the local paper article with the picture of himself sharing an early morning laugh with Sugar. She had told him a corny ass joke about four elephants in a Toyota and it was so dumb, he had laughed hard and she had laughed with him. His eyes were facing the oncoming waves and she was staring at him with those sensual eyes crinkled with laughter. It was a nice beach shot with her holding her board.

"You're a habitual cheater. I know that look on your face. You're fucking her. The woman I hired to teach our baby how to surf so she could make friends because you broke up our family."

"I'm not fucking her. Colin and Bruce were there with me. We're training her now. She's going full-time pro….look, call Bruce if you don't believe me."

"He'd just lie for you."

"Bruce would never do that."

They sat for ten minutes saying nothing. Picking at the rest of their meal, he knew nothing would be resolved.

"I'm going to see my lawyer on Monday to file divorce papers."

"I did nothing but love you."

"We were never meant to be Calista. I am thankful and grateful for our children, but I never loved you in that way you want. You never loved me, not the real me—"

The wine from her glass drenched his shirt and dripped down onto his pants. He shook his arm to get the liquid off of his watch before wiping it down with the cloth napkin on his lap. Calista's hand shook as she still held onto her now empty glass of libations.

Pushing his chair back, he reached into his wallet and pulled out cash. Tossing it on the table he glared at her.

"I'll have my lawyer contact yours."

"I'll strip you of everything. I'll ruin your fucking life."

"Prenup."

She held up her phone.

"Receipts."

"Try it."

###

She had a clean bill of health.

Erik watched Sugar work with Colin out on the Bay. His bestie zipped along the water with a Jetski as Sugar held onto a braided tow handle that dragged her behind him on a tow-in surfboard. They soon practiced rescue maneuvers on a rescue board and he watched her laugh and tumble in the water when she misjudged the speed of the watercraft and missed grabbing the rescue board.

"Sugar, the last chance handle is what it says it is. If you miss his hand or that, you're assed out," he shouted to her.

Erik floated on his own personal watercraft watching from a safe distance.

Her laughter lifted his spirits.

For two weeks he had been going back and forth with his mother over heated video chats to Oakland. Calista was trying to break the prenup and his mother felt that his foolishness might give her traction and sympathy in order for the judge to throw it out. He conferred with his mother just to make sure his own lawyer was on the right track.

He didn't have a problem with giving Calista money for the children. He loved his babies. He hated that she wanted to be vindictive and punitive because he told her the absolute truth. He never loved her. At twenty, he loved the idea of her. She probably felt the same about him. Two good-looking people using each other to project an image that wasn't real. The only real thing between them was Deuce and Marina.

Erik hadn't seen Deuce for two weeks. Every couple of days he would send his son a text to check in with him and his boy would send an emoji with a neutral face. Marina was very attentive to Erik when she stayed with him. She was clingy and very sensitive, spending a lot of time playing with her dolls in his office as he worked instead of her room or on the patio. They surfed together in the morning and the late afternoon and he cooked a lot of food at home that she liked to make her feel secure. She would face chat with her brother on the desktop computer in the family room hoping that Deuce would talk to him while she was there. His boy wouldn't, ignoring Erik as he piddled in the background watching TV and eavesdropping on their conversation online.

Sugar finally snagged a hold of the last chance handle and pulled herself onto the rescue board. Colin dragged her over to Erik's watercraft. Instead of climbing onto the back of Colin's Jetski, she climbed onto the back of Erik's, pressing her chest into his back. Colin gave him a look and sped off to the dock. Erik followed.

"Did good," he said driving the watercraft slow.

"At last, some kind words from the Big Kahuna."

She squeezed his waist.

"You looked like you've been in deep thought all day."

"Got a lot going on."

"New commercials? Ads? I saw that new Coach layout. Hubba hubba."

He laughed.

"You liked that one?"

"Yeah. I won't be buying any Coach stuff though."

"Why not?"

"Not my style. It fits you though."

"Is that a compliment or should I throw you off this ride?"

"Coach is for a demographic that's a little too conservative for me. I like stuff with a little more flavor. A little more pizzazz."

"What's your style?"

"Edgy Black beach punk."

"Is that a real thing?"

"I'm real, so it is."

He pulled them alongside the dock and turned off the engine. Colin helped tie down the craft and Erik helped Sugar get onto the dock. Her eyes danced and she seemed more chipper than usual. Colin gave her dap and she threw her hands on her hips.

"I don't know what you guys are doing later, but would you like to go to Del Mar with me and my crew?" she said.

"What's happening in Del Mar?" Colin asked.

"Horse racing, but at the end of the races, there's a free concert afterward. Fishbone. It's Asia's birthday and we go every year. Cheap beer, a lot of street food to choose from. Free music. You guys have been working really hard for me and I can afford to spring for some two-dollar track betting and beer."

Erik glanced over at Colin.

"I'm down if you are man," Colin said.

Sugar's eyes seemed to be pleading for Erik to say yes. He could use the distraction.

"Beer is not part of your training regimen," he said.

"You can drink it for me then," she teased.

It was hard for him to say no. He had calls to make, contracts to look over…

But he also didn't have Marina that week, so he could stay out as long as he wanted.

"What time should we meet?"

"I'll pick you guys up. My treat, remember?"

"Okay."

Colin grinned at him when Sugar walked away.

"What?"

"I'm just watching," Colin said.

"What do we wear?"

"It's horseracing and beer. Fishbone. Whatever you want, nigga."

"She better not drink any beer," Erik said walking off the dock.


	15. Everyday Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine takes Erik to see Fishbone with her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a film break yesterday to watch some docs and chill. Enjoy!

"If we could fly away on wings  
To a place where all could be true  
And the skies were blue  
And love was true  
And me and you

How I wish everyday sunshine  
How I wish everyday sunshine"

Fishbone—"Everyday Sunshine"

Sabine wondered if she should've just had Erik and Colin meet her at the Del Mar Fairground parking.

Picking them up at Erik's house, she stuffed the two men inside her van with six other people including herself and drove up the 5 Freeway blasting loud Hip Hop and Reggae with an occasional Punk classic thrown in. Her friends were hyped, some high, and she kept glancing back in her rearview to check Erik's face.

Training with him and Colin for most of the morning had been productive and a lot of fun, even with all the times she messed up and fell over on the tow-in board. Colin was always forgiving of mistakes, but Erik was always a dick about her getting shit right the first time. That morning had been different. Even when he did point out her faults, his tone had been nicer, kinder even, and she had the feeling that he had a hard time focusing on the task at hand. She caught him daydreaming a few times and something in her gut told her it was some family drama.

Sabine's body was already changing from intense training and new eating habits. Erik was adamant that she stop calling her new food lifestyle a diet. It was simply elite athletic eating. Cutting out excess sugars and salts and fatty foods caused her body to become leaner. Bruce had her train with Erik on weights three times a week and she did extra in the evening at her neighborhood gym. They wanted her to build more muscle mass. She was allowed fun food days, and when that happened, she hot tailed it to her parent's Taqueria and gorged on shrimp and fish tacos with carne asada French fries. She felt stronger and Erik pushed her to be even better. She noticed changes in his body too once he hopped on his own regiment. His off-season body made way for his typical pro physique. To see the transformation beginning up close gave her a new respect for all athletes. It took a lot of work to shape the muscles needed to withstand the beating it would take out in the ocean.

Working with Arturo, her body stretched its capacity to hold air. He made her walk in the Bay carrying fifty-pound weights underwater holding her breath. When they moved to the open ocean and did the same thing with waves knocking above her, she could only imagine a mountain falling on top of her and having to wait for the chance to steal another breath of air before another mountain of water fell on her again, perhaps four to six or more times. All of that brutality just for an eight to ten-second glide on top of the sea.

In the first week of training, she was exhausted and her muscles screamed at her. It hurt to even sit on the toilet after she had leg days with weights. By the second week, she welcomed the challenge and the pain. She slept well at night. Her urine was clear and her bowel movements were smooth and easy.

Jamon's parents were gone on vacation to South Carolina and asked her to housesit. She had a house to herself and enjoyed the solitude while spending the quiet time reading. The downside was that the house was in La Mesa, so she had to drive to the beach in the morning traffic.

Watching Erik's face behind her, she couldn't tell if he was annoyed or horrified with the shenanigans that were happening in the van. Colin was all grins but both men just sat quietly observing and listening until she made the turn-off and got behind the long line of cars heading onto the fairground parking. She found a nice spot near a fence and when they all hopped out to stretch their legs, she saw a smile come across Erik's face that made her relax. She forgot they were a decade older than her and her friends. He was comfortable with Yolanda and Asia, but it took him a little longer to handle the energy of her male friends, Leonard, Glenn, and Boy Stacy.

"Why they call you Boy Stacy?" Erik asked.

Stacy shook his long locs before tying them back and he stared at Erik with maroon-colored eyes from all the weed he smoked in the van.

"Oh, cuz you'll meet our other homegirl, Stacy. She's Girl Stacy and I'm Boy Stacy," he said.

"Makes sense," Erik quipped before wiping dust off of his pristine kicks from the dirt ground they were parked on.

Erik and Colin were dressed comfortably in jeans and chest hugging t-shirts. Sugar had on her favorite little hanging out with the crew outfit, a short black rayon jumper with multiple slide squeeze buckles that allowed her to show off freshly shaved legs with black Doc Martens. She tied a thin black wrap around her waist in case it got cooler and to also sit on while perched on dirty bleachers that could be covered in spilled liquids or sweat. She felt cute sporting a little punk summer aesthetic.

Sugar led them all to the free trams that drove them to the front of the track entrance where she paid for her entry fee along with Erik and Colin's.

"Here, twenty bucks a piece for two-dollar betting. Ten chances to win money. I take thirty percent if you hit big," she joked.

"Keep your money, girl," Erik said handing the bill back to her.

She brushed his hand away.

"I said I was treating you guys."

He tucked the twenty in his back pocket.

"You want one?"

Leonard handed her a lemon gummy bear edible as they headed into the track and Sugar took it discreetly, but not before Erik saw it. She slipped it into her pocket.

They moved quickly to the first bar concession and everyone bought cold brews except for Erik and Sugar. She purchased bottled water as everyone perused their track race booklets to know what horses were racing and the times. Sugar stepped near Erik and Colin.

"All you have to do is decide what horse you want to bet on and just go to a window and place your bet. Tell them the race number, dollar amount, the type of bet, and the name of the horse. This page explains how you can do combination wagers, but that's a little more complicated if it's your first time. You pay extra for stuff like that."

She explained everything she thought they should know.

"The best thing to do is to go look at the horses. The jockeys usually walk them a little bit before they line up, so you can look at a horse and see if you want to bet on them."

Yolanda stepped forward.  
"Stick with Sugar, she talks mad shit to the jockeys in Spanish trying to pump info. She does pretty good."

"Horse whisperer?" Erik said smiling all big.

"Jockey whisperer."

They headed to the lower bleachers and piled next to each other still reading their program booklets. They missed a chance to bet on the next race. She was dying to drink beer as she watched her friends gulp down frosty cold suds.

Erik watched her and finally tapped her on the knee.

"Go get a beer. I'll let you slide tonight."

She squealed and ran with Glenn to buy booze. She bought herself two beers and drank the first one right in the clear plastic cup at the concession stand. She made it back to their group just as the horses broke out of the starting gate. The crowd roared and Sabine was thrilled that Colin and Erik got into the excitement right away, both of them jumping up and moving close to the fence that separated them from the track itself. It was over fast, and as she sipped her second beer slow, she saw Erik's eyes were bright with betting possibilities.

As the track cleared and the next batch of horses were led up and down the front of the track, Erik and Colin watched her speak Spanish to the Latino jockeys. She read about the horses that looked good and showed Erik and Colin what to look for in a potential contender. Ushering them to a nearby betting line, she stood near them to help guide them with any questions they had.

"…so when you box a bet, you're playing all possible combinations for the horse you choose," she said.

"I can win with any order they come in then?" Erik asked.

"Correct."

Colin started pulling out more cash.

"I'ma go with Summer Lover with a trifecta box—"

"Ooh, no, not that horse. This is a dirt track and that horse is lousy on dirt tracks."

Colin looked at his booklet.

"It doesn't say that in the booklet."

Sugar whipped out her cell phone and googled the horse's history she had saved from earlier.

"You serious about this," Colin said flashing her those gorgeous teeth.

Erik took the pen he had in his hand and crossed off his choice of Summer Lover.

"Who are you betting on?" Erik asked.

"Ben's Big Yacht and Hawaiian Express. They both did well at the Kentucky Derby last year, and they both go faster on dirt tracks. The other horses are, meh, but Starlight Magic is a newbie, so that could be a wild card."

"Alrighty then, Ben's Big Yacht and Hawaiian Express," Colin said stepping up to the window.

Everyone made their bets and returned to their spots near the fence.

"Shiitttt!" Erik shouted as the gates opened up and the horses took off.

Hawaiian Express stretched those powerful legs and her hooves dug in deep in the dirt and catapulted her to the front line. Sabine finished up her beer and watched Colin run up and down the fence screaming for his choices as Erik stood in one spot with his fists balled up and shaking toward the field.

"I won!" Colin screamed.

Erik high fived him and her friends laughed so hard as they were broken into their world.

"Next round of beer is on me!" Colin said.

Everyone followed him to the bar. Erik walked up to the betting booth to collect his winnings.

###

Sabine swallowed the edible after they had been at the track for two hours. The grounds were getting more crowded as people who came for the free concert began to take up space. The waiting audience was a rainbow of color and Sabine's other friends showed up to join them. Girl Stacy was introduced to Erik and she batted her eyelashes at him and asked him a ton of personal questions while tossing her purple braids before Sabine dragged her friend with her to the BBQ pit food line. She bought herself a BBQ brisket sandwich to eat so that the food would balance her out once the edible hit. She had urinated most of the beer out of her system and was comfortable sitting around the picnic table they congregated on. Erik sat on the table itself with his feet resting on the bench.

"Y'all don't want to move in closer?" Colin asked.

He was busy digging into his disposable food container filled with jalapenos and nachos. She licked her fingers of BBQ sauce. Erik nibbled on some potato skins but his eyes kept looking at the thick cuts of brisket in her container.

"Want some?" she asked.

She held out a nice slice of meat for him.

"I'm good."

"You want some, you keep looking at it. If I can cheat today, so can you."

She held the succulent BBQ up to his lips. He ate it from her fingers and she wiped the bit of sauce that dribbled onto his lips with a clean napkin.

"That's good."

"Told you. Better go get you some before they close up—"

"Too late, they sold out," Asia said grumbling.

Sabine made a sad face at Erik, but she offered him more of the loose slices in her container. He took two more pieces as music began to blare from the speakers spread throughout the concert space. They could see a DJ on the grandstand concert stage.

Sabine was full and let Erik have the rest of her food. He ate it and she pointed her finger at him and laughed.

Their group moved through the throng of people heading toward the front of the stage.

"I want to be in the middle!" Sabine called out.

A few people looked annoyed that they were pushing their way to the center, but Colin and Erik made people think twice about saying anything, especially the white people. Her friends were so eclectic looking that many just stepped aside just to look at them. They looked like the official Afropunk contingency.

"Sugar, remember this?" Asia called.

Sabine cocked her ear to the sounds around her. The DJ was playing a disco set.

"Oh, shit! Skating music!" Sabine shouted jumping in front of Yolanda and Girl Stacy and their two other female friends Marne and Cecilia.

Sabine and her friends started the ball rolling with people dancing to the old Skyy jam.

"Here's to you! Just for you! Here's to you! This song's for you!" Sabine and Yolanda sang out loud, doing the bump as Boy Stacy and Girl Stacy started a line dance.

"The Bus stop? Whatchu you guys know 'bout that?" Colin yelled, jumping behind Sabine and dancing in step.

Some people joined the line thinking her friends were doing the electric slide so there were a few awkward steppers messing up the initial groove.

"Toot that booty out, Sugar!" Colin shouted.

She laughed and Girl Stacy switched up the dance to the Skate Hustle. No one else outside their crew knew it so Girl Stacy ended up calling out steps until a big crowd got into it. Sabine looked behind her and saw Erik standing still and just taking in the active scene.

The music changed and Sabine shouted as the DJ threw on some Con Funk Shun. Funky horns blared all around them and the line dance broke up into people partying to deep funk. She felt the weed in her system kicking in making her feel even looser. Dancing over to Erik she grabbed his hand. He smiled at her but wouldn't budge.

"Get funky with me, child, don't you see, oh, you're sweet to me, sweet baby…"

Sabine sang to him, but he just stood there like a bump on a log. She jumped back with her friends and the music switched up again to "Jamaica Funk". She felt Colin dance behind her close and tight and she welcomed the movement shaking her hips and clapping her hands. He grabbed her hips and her arms went up in the air joining her friends who were swinging so hard and infecting the crowd with their need to turn up.

Sabine was feeling herself and her mind expanded with thoughts of joy and pleasure and enjoying the physicalness of her trained body. Her fingers drifted to the side of Colin's neck and she held him there while she snaked her body against his. The warmth from his skin made her fingers feel like they were expanding and when she looked him in the eye, that sexy smile of his made her move in closer to feel his hard body against hers even more. Another Tom Browne song came on and Sabine really cut loose.

"Thighs high to the sky! I want to grip your hips and move!" Colin sang along with the song.

Sabine spun around and poked her ass out for him. He bounced against her as she closed her eyes trying to feel his strength. Stretching her hands in front of herself she snapped her fingers until his fingers entwined with hers. She popped her eyes open. The fingers entangled with hers weren't Colin's.

She felt strong hips rock against her ass and a seductive masculine heat bled into her back. The scent of Erik's cologne teased her nostrils. Spicy melon and citrus with smoky almond undertones. She wrapped his arms around her midsection and leaned back into him as so many sweaty bodies surrounded them. The music around her swirled like colors and she felt like she was sinking into his chest. He rested his face next to hers and she released his right hand to reach up and stroke his scalp. Soft thrusts from his crotch into her backside made her legs go weak.

She wanted to spin around and face him, wanted to see his face and those big pillowy lips while she stroked the waves in his scalp. A nasty ska beat broke out and Sabine released her fingers to shake her body freely to the sounds. She couldn't turn around now and ruin the feeling it gave her to have him touch her. Her skin tingled all over from his closeness and she could feel a soft pulse between her legs from having him pressed tight against her.

She told him that she wanted a working relationship only.

She did.

But the edible had her faded and wanton and if she turned around, he would see her shaky admonitions to stay apart were hanging by a thread.

"Are you ready to party San Diego?"

Sabine screamed when she heard Fishbone's Angelo Moore's voice from the stage. It was the out she needed to get her body away from Erik's. She had to remind herself that he was off-limits, especially since a bunch of new photos surfaced online with a few more women he was supposed to be connected to. Asia had sent her links and text messages about the online chatter, and when Sabine looked up the gossip sites herself, she had to admit to herself that he had a type. She clearly was not it, so anything he was doing now had to be taken with a grain of salt. What did he tell her? He had needs. They were being filled quite well by the looks of the kiss he was giving one woman. She had stared at that picture knowing what his mouth felt like against her own and feeling envious of the woman in the picture. What did he feel like beyond lips touching?

The opening strumming of a guitar gave tasteful licks and then the stage lights grew bright as the opening of Sunless Saturday rocked out. Sabine and Yolanda started thrashing their heads to the music as the band came to life on stage. Sabine felt her eyes sting as she couldn't believe she was seeing original members of a band her mother adored and introduced her to. It was the same band that brought her parents together at an early punk/ska concert in Long Beach. She wished her parents had come out to see them with her, but Papi didn't want to see her Mom still fawning over vocalist and saxophone player Angelo Moore.

A pit formed in a corner and Sabine jumped in it with Yolanda and Leonard. Girl and Boy Stacy led the thrashing with their boots and it was glorious. No longer rocking his trademark frohawk and sporting a shiny bald head, Angelo stood on the corner of the stage with bass player John Norwood Fisher and his gracefully graying hair and beard, leading the throng of energy the pit was bringing to the musical celebration. Sabine looked up into their eyes on stage and she felt love pouring out from them to see so many young Black punks leading the frenetic need to rock all the way out among a majority white audience.

When the song Everyday Sunshine rang out, Sabine sang at the top of her lungs and Angelo saw her. He held his hand out to her.

"Go, Sugar! Go!" Leonard said pushing her toward Angelo's outstretched invitation.

She grabbed his hand and the frontman lifted her onto the stage much to the chagrin of the security guards near the stage.

"Sing it, sister!" Angelo shouted thrusting his mic in her face.

"Everyday sunshine!" she hollered.

Sabine felt the thick throng of people pushing toward the stage, the lights blinding her, and the music pushing into her chest.

Angelo started blowing into his saxophone as the other horns went off. Sabine jumped around the stage acting a fool, and Angelo gave her a big hug. She turned toward the crowd again. The lights had switched intensity and she could actually peep how far back the bodies went watching the show. She could see her friends working out their demons in the pit that had grown bigger. The audience went wild as she stomped her boots and shook her 'fro harder and she could see Colin screaming for her. Next to him was the amused face of Erik with a sly grin on his face. Their eyes linked up and she stepped to the edge of the stage. The sea of bodies moved in like a wave of water about to break against the edge. Hands raised up everywhere beckoning her.

Hopping back three giant steps, Sabine lunged forward and dived off the hot stage and into the hotter wild sea of fans. Erik caught her, but the sea of hands swept her away from him as the music grew into a powerful crescendo.

She relaxed into the wave and surfed the crowd like the pro she was.


	16. Extroverted Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik does some soul searching...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinks are going to start heating up!

"I'm gonna watch why you leave and appreciate mine  
Say yes  
We can take it nice and slow  
Find your crown right down below

Rock with me  
I'm in need  
Of an extroverted lover"

Jvck James—"Extroverted Lovers"

Erik held his breath as he gripped two thirty-pound weights underwater in the Surfgeist pool. The pressure on his ears was mild in the deep end of the pool, and he went into a meditative state trying to slow his heartbeat. The calm under the water centered him. Life had become more stressful.

Deuce had yet to speak to him, and now it had been four weeks since he had laid eyes on the boy. He still received the occasional emoji text, but their relationship had not recovered since Erik confessed to being unfaithful.

Thirty seconds underwater and he was still in a comfortable physical state.

Why?

It was the question he began asking himself after the separation from his son.

Sex was important to him. He liked to have a lot of it. The pitfalls of being well-known, rich, and attractive to certain women was the easy availability of pussy. Not just regular pussy but exceptional top shelf coochie. He never had problems pulling women, but once his surfing career took off and he transitioned into the Hollywood scene too, his access to prime ass went up exponentially to the point of being absurd. Women would approach him in front of Calista and rub up on him or hand him their number. He always avoided those types of birds. In the early days, he spent a lot of time between Calista's legs. Erik thought that he could be satisfied with her. He was blinded by her desirability by other men, and once he had her, over and over…he grew bored.

The woman on the yacht in the French Riviera so long ago had been a spur of the moment thing.

Erik assumed that the surf world was so insular and niche, that being in another country protected him from a secret dalliance. He was wrong. He learned the power of his early and far-reaching success when the pictures went out and the whole incident blew up. He wasn't just a random professional surfer killing it in the game, he was the "It" boy, the dark edgy game-changer, and people wanted to know everything about him. His sex life gave tabloid media salacious clicks and millions in revenue streams.

He couldn't even remember the woman's name that blew up his sex appeal. She just had a nice mouth along with perfect tits. That's what he told her on his surfing buddy's luxury rental that they tooled around in for a getaway weekend. There were always women hanging around willing to party, and that chick was the best of the bunch. She was down for him and all he had to do was pull out his erection and she was on her knees slobbering on his stick. Swallowing his jizz after that first nut, the second one found him soaking her face. Colin had been with him and the paparazzi blurred out his face when the pictures circulated. His boy had sat near them jerking off, and when Erik painted the woman's face with cum, Colin stood up and added his semen turning the session into an impromptu bukkake party. They took the woman down below into a comfortable stateroom and had a vigorous threesome.

Colin was privy to a lot of Erik's nasty shit. Mainly because he was a part of so much of it.

Private getaways to secret surfing spots often became the ruse Erik used to run off for secret trysts when Calista became too much of a hassle at home complaining about Hollywood rejecting her. He'd bring Colin and other male friends as a cover to bond over surfing and to discreetly fuck women he'd fly in from wherever. He laid down rules, gave out NDAs, and did his thing. Played husband to Calista, loved and took care of his children, racked up wins, sponsors, and ventures outside of surfing.

Many trips found him and Colin in fancy hotels, fucking women in the same room together. In their youth, they got off on watching each other fucking women at the same time. The illicit thrill of pounding to smithereens some IG hotties pussy while glancing over and seeing Colin doing the same to his jump-off had them using tons of condoms. It usually became a competition to see who made their girl cum first or hardest on their dicks.

Looking back on it now, it was all ego and Colin was a capable sexual competitor. Once his friend gave up the dream of being on Erik's level, Colin tended to have serial monogamy hook-ups. Colin's long-term girlfriends put a dent in their shared debauchery. Exotic trips now had them in separate suites with Colin's mainly Black female lovers giving Erik side-eye to the type of women he flew in. Colin ribbed him about his preference for IG hoes, but Erik had no illusions about what he was getting into with those women.

Everything was transparent.

They were to fly in, suck and fuck him, then go home and keep their mouths shut. If they were good girls, he might hit them up a few more times before moving on to the next new booty.

But now…

He was getting too lax with the caliber of women he had now, and because of that, he became sloppy. Pictures were getting out when they normally wouldn't. No videos had ever leaked of him, but Dana had gained his trust because she was a regular chick. It didn't even cross his mind to take her cell phone or check to make sure she wasn't collecting proof of their dalliances. She fell for him so hard, and his mistake was forgetting that she was a regular chick enamored by his lifestyle and wanting to hook into it. When she first started asking about his children, he pumped the breaks on his interest in her. She was cool to hang around with for a couple of hours, but the pressure to become serious grated on him. What had started as an enjoyable change of pace became an extra headache. Calista would now use it to break their prenup and drag out the divorce.

Why?

Why did he have the need to be with so many women? Pleasure was one thing, but once the act was over, he was still unfulfilled and wanting more. If one woman gave him the spark of something real, it wouldn't last. He grew cool easily and often right after he orgasmed. He didn't even bother to rotate women as much now. One and done. Hit it and quit it. Wham bam, thank you, Ma'am. Don't let the doorknob hit ya ass. It was getting stale. Even the kinks he enjoyed—spanking, choking, facials, edge play, humiliation, Shibari/Kinbaku—none of that got him off as much as it used to.

Perhaps his recent slip-ups were his way of forcing himself to confront his personal demons. He felt numb all the time. His children kept him from succumbing to complete oblivion, but when they weren't with him, he often wandered his house feeling like a living ghost. Surfing was his solace, but even his greatest love couldn't keep him from the dull ache that lived in his chest.

He yearned for something different.

At one point he thought moving from Santa Monica to San Diego was the shift he needed. Smaller city, a little more anonymity, and a fresh start for the family. Dana was engaging and efficient as a realtor. Erik wasn't interested in house viewing. Calista forced him to go with her even when he told her to pick a house, any house, and he would just pay cash for it. If it didn't work out and they ended up moving to another city, he planned on keeping the property as an investment or a vacation home.

Dana gave him eyes the moment she saw him and he noticed an increase of viewings whenever she hit up Calista's email inbox. She gave Erik her business card for any friends of his who were on the lookout for a new property. He put Calista on a short twenty-minute American Airlines flight back to L.A. to pack up the kids while he had new furniture installed in their new La Jolla digs.

Dana came by to see how the move-in was going and once she saw that Calista wasn't there, and Erik saw how natural she looked compared to the fast crowd he rolled with who all aspired to the same generic bad bitch aesthetic, he decided to dabble. Even in the midst of it, Erik knew he would stray again with someone else. For a year he rotated Dana with two other women. He suffocated from the bland sameness he was feeling. Even going out of the country to fuck lost its luster. Colin rarely wanted to travel overseas once he settled down with his former girlfriend. His ex, Taji, hated Erik being around Colin as if he were the Pied Piper of Fuckery leading Colin astray. She was probably right.

Two minutes.

Erik was still comfortable underwater.

He did arm curls with the weights in two sets of eight before holding them in a squatting position again. He could see someone walking near the edge of the pool. They stopped.

It had to be her.

Sugar.

He made it a point to switch up his training schedule opposite hers.

Three minutes and thirty seconds.

She stayed put waiting for him to surface.

One of the best days he had was with her and her friends at the race track in Del Mar. He felt welcomed and he did his best to let them vibe while he observed. But Colin was all in from jump and Sugar was just…Sugar was…

Danger.

She was a beautiful girl. Physically stunning. It was her inner beauty that messed him up.

Physical beauty faded fast for him. He'd been around plenty of beautiful women throughout his career. It was the way that Sugar made him feel that tripped him up. Her vivaciousness was infectious and watching her be the moon to her friends that spun around her like human satellites made him look at her in a different way.

When her friends broke out into spontaneous dancing pulling other people along with them, it was exciting to witness. He wasn't much of a dancer anymore since being with Calista even though he could cut up when he wanted to. Erik enjoyed watching Sugar shake her body, but when Colin got a little touchy-feely, he felt a little irked. Colin purposely poked at Erik with Sugar. His boy knew he was in a weird space with her, and pushed Erik to act every chance he got. He did it more now that he knew Erik filed for divorce. He wasn't sure if Colin was really interested in her for shits and giggles, or just testing Erik's own interest. He didn't like it, but he had no right to challenge his friend while he was still connected to Calista.

Colin was a free agent. Knowing the man since he was a teenager made him certain that there was a seriousness under the teasing. He would go hard for Sugar if Erik didn't act soon. It caused unspoken friction between them. They were too old to be fighting over a woman when there were so many out there with legs open and ready for them at the drop of a dime.

Sugar just wasn't any woman though.

When she dived off of that stage with Fishbone cheering her on, Erik reached up to catch her. She landed in his arms but her friends and the crowd lifted her up higher and sent her across the human surf. With her fists in the air, she was carried around for a full five minutes and gently sent back to the front where her friends pulled her back down into the mosh pit where they stomped and shouted and sang loud and proud.

When the concert was over and they all headed back to her van, he asked her how she knew Fishbone and all their lyrics.

"My Mom had a punk band."

"No shit?"

She pulled up a picture on her cell phone.

"That's my Mom, my Auntie Karmina, and her friend Beth."

"What did your Mom play?"

"Electric guitar. They called themselves Run Tell That. My Mom loved Angelo Moore. Ohmigod, she was planning to marry him and join Fishbone and just be that girl! Instead, she met my Dad playing up in Long Beach. She came back to San Diego and ran into him at Imperial Beach surfing. It was fate. They were meant to be together."

"Was she with your birth Dad then?"

"Sperm donor? Naw. It was just one of those things. They fell in love, broke up. She had me with someone else, and then fate came around again. She still plays with her group sometimes. Moms can play a stank punk set."

"Can you play anything?"

"Yeah, guitar. Acoustic. Electric. We jam together sometimes."

"You ever think about starting your own punk band?"

"I can't sing."

"You sounded good on stage with Fishbone. I thought punk was made for anyone, even non-singers."

"I was made to surf."

Sugar had layers. He wanted to peel and peel and peel…

A splash startled him.

She swam up to him like a dolphin coming to investigate a curious sight. Her brown eyes were inquisitive.

He floated back to the top.

Placing the weights on the side of the pool, Erik pulled himself out and sat on the ledge. She tread water in front of his legs looking up at him.

"Are you avoiding me?"

"Nah just busy. My training and work had to be shifted a bit."

"I haven't seen you or heard from you since Del Mar. Family okay?"

"The pool is yours. I have some calls to make for work. Training going well?"

"Yeah—"

He jumped up to his feet and grabbed his weights.

"Have a good session."

He left her treading water.

Colin was in his personal office when Erik went to check in with him.

"Can I use your shower man?" Erik asked.

"Why are you asking?"

"Being respectful. If you weren't here, I'd use it."

Colin chuckled and pushed his laptop back.

"You see, Sugar? She's eating up this training, dog. Bruce is impressed. Lamar and Arturo are jazzed with her. You know a hidden diamond when you see it."

"She's special."

"Not just in surfing, huh?"

Colin stood up and walked across the room. Closing his office door, he turned to Erik with a serious look on his face.

"She's worried about you. Worried that you're losing interest in her success."

"I have my own training and shit to deal with—"

"You control your days, bruh. It looks like you're avoiding her for a reason and we both know what that reason is."

Colin gently punched him in the chest.

"I respect you for being all noble and finally adulting, but don't make her feel your fears."

"My fears?"

"You heard me, man. Sugar thrives on visual and verbal support. You're being distant with her because you have feelings for her—"

"I like her, I like what she can become—"

"Nigga, you love that girl."

Erik scrunched up his face and held his hands up.

"How did you get my busy schedule mixed up with this idea of—"

"Stop the bullshit, Erik. This me. Colin. Your boy. I know you. I know what you are capable of and how you act when you are tussling with something. I saw it a few weeks ago. You were ready to bust me in my lip when I was dancing all on her. A week ago, you got heated when Lamar asked her out for drinks after her session—"

"I wasn't—"

"My dude. Steam was coming out of your ears when you saw him picking her up and swinging her around when they were just playing with the punching bag."

Colin's eyes were full of mirth.

"It's okay to fall in love, nigga."

"I'm not…I'm…it's not like that…you got it all wrong."

"You ain't even know, huh? Snuck up on your ass."

Colin sat back on the edge of his desk.

"The way you look at her tells the whole world how you feel. You don't have to fight it. Just feel it. Love is a blessing and man and you got it bad. Go take a shower."

Colin went back to his computer and Erik just stood in front of his desk dumbfounded.

For the first time in his life Erik "Killmonger" Stevens realized he had never been in love before.

###

The fresh Mojito he mixed sat in his hand as he watched the water. High tide was rolling in. From his bedroom balcony, he laid on his cushioned patio lounge chair, stretching his legs out. Sipping his drink, he hoped the cloud in his head would break up and float away.

His doorbell rang and when he checked his Ipad for his video security app he saw Sugar at the front door.

He hesitated then unlocked the front door from his pad.

"Erik?"

"Upstairs."

He watched her shut the front door and lock it. Placing the pad on his small balcony table, he sat back on his chair. His stomach muscles tensed up as he heard her approaching his floor from the stairs.

"Come out here," he said when he saw her waiting outside his open bedroom door.

She sauntered outside and he couldn't look her directly in the face.

"Sit down," he said pointing to the empty lounge chair right next to the one he was in.

Sugar sat on the side of it facing him. She clasped her hands between her bare thighs. All she had on was a teal bikini top and swim shorts. Her slide on sandals were pink plastic with seagulls drawn on them.

He sipped his Mojito and pointed to his table.

"Fresh batch, help yourself."

She glanced at the permanent table Lazy Susan that sat on his balcony table with the glass pitcher and a collection of small glass cups.

She poured herself some and drank it.

"Good," she said.

He finally looked at her face.

"Are you okay, Erik?"

"I'm fine."

"You won't talk to me—"

"Just work, Sugar."

"Are you having second thoughts about me? Everyone else says I'm doing well, but you haven't said anything and I'm worried I'm not meeting your standards—"

"I filed for divorce from my wife, Sugar. It's not going well. I have lawyer meetings every other day, I'm also training, and my son…Deuce…"

The shakiness in his voice surprised him. What was more surprising was the wetness he felt building behind his eyes.

"What's wrong with Deuce?"

Erik closed his eyes.

"I haven't seen or talked to my son in a month. He found out what a trash father I am and he won't see me. I just want to hear my son's voice…I want to hug him and say I'm sorry for being an asshole to his Mom—"

"Erik, I'm sorry—"

"Things are not going well for me. I'm sorry I haven't been making time for your training but I've been preoccupied."

He finished his Mojito.

Sugar poured herself a little more in her glass and took a big gulp. She wiped her lips and stared at him. His eyes darted back toward the water.

"You've probably already seen some of the internet chatter."

"I did see the pictures of those two…women."

"Knocks me down from that pedestal again, huh?"

"I don't care about that."

"Well, my son does and he won't have anything to do with me."

He twisted the empty glass in his hand.

"I miss him so much, Sugar. I get scared that my baby girl will find out and hate me too."

"Is there anything I can do to help? Or at least make you feel a little better?"

He smiled and placed his glass on the table.

"Come go surfing with me. It'll help clear my head."

He stood up and held his hand toward her. She clasped it and he pulled her up next to him.

"Are you okay to surf? How much have you been drinking?"

"Don't matter. You're here now. You can save me if I fall out."

She smiled and Erik had to admit to himself.

He did love this girl.

And he was terrified of losing her.


	17. Come On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar checks on Erik who keeps ignoring her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to start this ship sailing.....finally! Lol!

"I ain't gonna settle for no one  
I ain't gonna give no reasons to see  
And if I give you permission  
That only states that I'm ready for you to come on

Baby, wait tomorrow  
Don't leave  
Stay awhile boy  
Hear me out  
I've been waiting for you  
To bring your loving on"

Billie Lawrence—"Come On"

Sabine wiped a spray of water from her face as Erik's longboard smacked into hers.

She pushed on his arm as he laughed at her, his feet jumping forward to allow his toes to hang ten before he tip-toed back to the middle of the board to change direction and glide away from her.

Borrowing one of his longboards, she had to get used to not wearing a leash because these particular boards had none. Old-timey style. The big guns.

Erik's mood lifted being out on the water with her and she loved hearing him talk shit to her about her footwork on the board. Sitting and waiting for a new batch of swells to roll through, they splashed water at each other. They didn't bother to put on wetsuits or rash guards, and their skin absorbed the sunlight and deepened in hue. She caught him glancing at her several times as the lull in waves made them quiet. She pointed to a pod of dolphins swimming behind them, the fins dipping and flashing in the sun's rays.

Erik's board drifted closer to hers and when he bumped her thigh, she pushed him over into the water. She paddled away before he could grab her foot, and as she escaped, she inadvertently caught a nice wave, the big board lifting suddenly. She popped up just when he caught the same four-foot wave. She was surprised when he jumped on the back of her board allowing his board to surf back to shore without him. He grabbed her waist and they rode the wave in together until she slipped and fell, her laughter bringing a huge smile to his face.

They paddled back out together, competing to see who was faster, and she could feel the strength in her arms and core from doing so much training. Her flexibility and balance had improved and this grew her confidence.

A significant-sized wave sprung forward and they both caught it. Erik showed off.

"You can't touch this, girl. It'll take you years to catch this flow…aye!"

Her leap onto his board made him lose his balance for a second, and they tangoed together with Erik trying to counter her added weight, tussling a bit playfully before she maneuvered in front of him. The water grew choppy and they entered some backwash. Erik clasped her hands and held them as they rode all the way in together.

They sat on the sand next to the boards and watched the breaks.

"Will your divorce take a long time?"

She hugged her legs as she looked at him. His eyes narrowed and his full lips poked out a bit.

"If you don't want to talk about it, I'd understand."

He leaned back on his hands, his fingers gripping the warm sand. She rested her head on her knees.

"She's fighting the prenup and wants to make some changes in custody. She's mad at me…embarrassed that she's been telling people that we were just on a break, mad that I'm trying to move on without her…it's just a lot."

"Why did you marry her?"

His eyes regarded her and Sabine saw some soul searching there before he spoke.

"She got pregnant."

"Did you love her?"

Sabine felt a nervous tightness in her chest as the question rolled off her tongue. She hadn't been with Erik for weeks during training and she didn't know if she would see him again any time soon so she took a chance to ask what she was burning to know.

"I loved…I loved what we were together back then. I loved having her on my arm. I loved a vision of her that wasn't real. I was real young. Wild—"

"So you didn't love her."

He grew quiet and looked at the water again.

"When she told me she was having my baby I panicked for a moment. I'm not ashamed to say that I wanted her to have an abortion. I was twenty. A champion. I was on the rise and now…a baby? She chose to keep it. I married her because I didn't want to have a baby mama. Sounds stupid now, but at the time I was embarrassed. I didn't want the reputation of dropping a baby in a white woman and bouncing. It would be a bad look for my brand."

"Black men do it to Black women all the time."

She couldn't hide the tinge of surliness in her voice. Her fingers drew little circles in the sand. She hated feeling jealous. Calista did nothing but be a beautiful white woman, got knocked up, and snagged the most eligible bachelor of that time. It felt awkward sitting next to the man she fawned over as a kid knowing she used to take a computer mouse and crop out pictures of Calista with him so she could hang his solo pictures on her wall. That woman had no talent, no discernible skills in anything other than being gorgeous and on his arm as some prize. Pretty privilege was so unfair. And pretty white privilege was a whole damn mountain to get around. Sabine pulled her legs in tighter.

"I needed to save face with my family. My fans. My sponsors. I was high profile. I wanted my son to have a family. I believed in that whole nuclear family shit. I came from a great family and I wanted that for Deuce. Hindsight, it really wasn't the move."

Erik lifted up some sand and let it spill from his fingers.

"It was good in the beginning. I was good in the beginning. For a minute. I thought I was happy. Calista was ecstatic. My family accepted it. Her family loved the attention and clout I brought to Calista's career. She was everywhere—"

"Yeah, I remember. OP swimsuits. Those old Swansong perfume ads."

"She was happy with her life then. She had me, my baby, and my connections."

"Why did you cheat?"

She looked him in the face again. His eyes didn't waver when he gazed at her.

"Because I could."

Damn.

"You really didn't consider Calista's feelings at all? It was obvious she was in love with you…still in love with you…"

"I can't excuse what I did, Sugar. People outside my world don't get how it is with professional athletes—-"

"It's bullshit, Erik. Don't get married. Don't have girlfriends. Don't have babies you don't want. Men just want to play games. 'Because I could.' You know how lame that sounds? Bitch nigga shit for real."

"You right. But it is what it is."

"Another lame excuse. I want to slap you right now."

"I probably need to be slapped—"

She slapped him. Lightly on the cheek. He swatted her hand and she slapped him playfully on his forehead too. He leaned back to escape her hits.

The water snaked up closer to them and Erik jumped up. He grabbed his longboard and she did the same.

"You hungry?"

"Getting there."

They left the longboards out on his patio and went into his house.

He picked up his cell phone.

"I need to make a call for work. I'll take you out to eat. Go ahead and take a shower and when I'm done, we'll bounce."

"Okay."

She walked outside to her van and grabbed her knapsack that she always kept a change of clothes and grooming supplies in. Heading to the third-floor guest room that she was familiar with, she passed Erik in his personal office on the second floor as he opened his laptop and talked on his cell.

Sabine showered and washed her hair, oiling it up with coconut oil after changing into another bikini top and swim shorts. Erik was still on the phone and it sounded like he was going to be yapping for a long time so she took out a wide-toothed comb and small black rubber bands to twist her hair in Nubian knots. Staring at her face in the good lighting inside the bathroom, she decided to put on eyeliner and a light tinted lip gloss. She smoothed down her eyebrows with an old toothbrush. Killmonger was taking her out to eat. She smiled and decided to pretend it was a fancy date.

She cleaned out the hair that bunched up in her comb and she also wiped up the drippings of coconut oil that fell on the counter. She walked down the stairs with her knapsack and saw Erik still talking in his office. Moving to the main floor, she posted up in the family room and figured out how to turn on the huge wall screen TV. Glancing around she saw a cute picture of Erik carrying Deuce as a baby on an end table. She picked up the gold frame. Erik looked so young and so proud. He and Calista had been married for a year then.

There were other photos.

Erik at an NBA game with floor seats rocking his own tailor-made Killmonger jacket. His trademark arrogant look was quite apparent, but it didn't match up with the silly photo he took with his mother in the frame next to it.

"Aw, Marina," Sabine sighed peeping another gold oval-shaped frame.

All dark cloudy hair and adorable cherubic face, Marina must've been four or five in the picture. She prayed the little girl didn't get hurt in the messy fray of her parent's divorce like Deuce…

Sabine picked up the current photo of Deuce and looked it over. Typical smug look. Diamonds in his ears like his Daddy. Throwing up his fingers trying to imitate Erik's swagger. The boy couldn't help who he was being raised by a man who snatched up the world by the balls as Erik did. Deuce was a good-looking young man. A heartbreaker in the making like his Dad.

"Call your, Daddy boy. You can be mad all you want and still talk to his shady ass—"

The landline phone startled her when it rang in the family room next to Marina's photo. Sabine put down Deuce's picture. Erik didn't pick up by the fifth ring so the answering machine did.

"Dad? You home?"

Chills ran up Sabine's arm. It was Deuce.

"Dad?"

Erik must've been on his cell phone still doing business. If she ran up to tell him, Deuce would hang up. If she answered, Deuce might be upset to know some other woman was in his Daddy's house…again.

She debated what to do.

"Deuce? Hey, hold on a minute, I'll get your Dad."

"Who dis?"

"Sugar."

Silence.

God, she hoped he didn't hang up.

"My Dad there?"

"He's up in his office working, I'll get him for you. Please don't hang up."

She dropped the phone and ran up to the second floor.

"Erik!"

He wasn't in his office.

She ran up to the third floor and ran into his bedroom.

"Erik!"

The shower was loud and steam spilled out from the door. She shouted his name again, but he had music playing and couldn't hear.

Stepping into the bathing part of his bathroom, the steam enveloped her but she could still see Erik rinsing off his hair. The all-over shower spouts drenched him in warm liquid and she couldn't help herself and just gawked for a moment.

His body.

She swallowed hard while staring at the curves, muscles, and the rivulets of water that pearled and rolled off of his extra toasted brown skin. His glutes flexed and her mouth went lax with lust as her tongue licked her top lip. Sabine tapped on the glass startling Erik as much as he startled her with his glorious nude physique. She no longer had to guess or fantasize about what his manhood looked like anymore. God was truly good. All the time.

Erik pressed a button on the shower wall and all the water jets stopped spraying around him along with the music. Opening the glass door, he stepped out dripping wet and she almost lost her breath being that close to masculine perfection.

"Deuce is on the house phone."

Erik rushed past her grabbing a towel and she stood enveloped in the steam and odors of the expensive body wash he used.

Walking out of the bedroom she saw that he wasn't there. She could hear his voice from down below, excited, and surely grateful to hear from his son. Sabine touched her chest and was thankful that she picked up the phone.

She wandered back to the ground floor and sat in the family room again. Forty minutes later Erik was dressed and beaming in front of her.

"Everything better?" she asked.

Erik's eyes looked past her for a second and then he shook his head.

"It's a start. He sounds good. I apologized again and just listened to him talk. He told me about his soccer league and complained that his Mom makes him go to bed too early during the summer."

"Good."

Sabine listened to him, but her mind wandered to seeing him naked in his shower.

"Sorry I busted in on you. I didn't want you to miss the call."

"I'm glad you did. Ready to go?"

"Where are you taking me…us?"

"A little spot I like. They have a nice variety on their menu and you can wear beachwear openly. A good bar—"

"Oh, you springing for drinks too? Let's go!"

He laughed and then gave her a big smile. A real smile. One that made his eyes light up and smile too.

###

Sabine slammed the shot glass down then stuffed the lime in her mouth squeezing her eyes shut. When she opened them again, she stared at Erik who had water in his eyes too as he pulled a lime from his lips.

"That is some powerful shit, damn!" he said.

They gorged on stacked and stuffed bison burgers with truffle French fries. The house Margaritas were delicious. But they decided to try the top shelf Tequila together and she was quite sure her esophagus was burned through and through.

He drove them to a spot in Del Mar not too far from the racetrack. She enjoyed riding in his car with him and he did things that made her realize that he was in another league compared to the simps she dated. He opened her car door for her and made sure she didn't hit her head when she climbed out. He made sure she walked on the inside of the sidewalk and not out on the street part where he walked. He opened doors for her, pulled out her seat, and made sure she had what she needed before they ate. If something wasn't to her liking, he sent it back right away. Her first Margarita wasn't that good, he made the bartender make her another. Her chicken quesadilla sliders were not warm enough and he sent it back with a stern warning to get it right.

The staff didn't seem to mind, he was a regular there, and they apologized right away sending them over a fancy tray of oysters Rockefeller to make up for her Margarita. Whatever she wanted to try, he bought it. It was a cheat day, so they both could eat whatever they wanted.

His eyes were bright and his spirit brighter. Talking to Deuce lifted the dark morose mood he had been under for weeks. They spoke on a number of topics, and when their burgers arrived, they took another half hour talking it up before even touching the generous portions.

"Food kinda lukewarm now," he grumbled.

"That's our fault," she said smacking her lips and licking her fingers.

They ate, drank, talked, and before she knew it, it was almost four in the afternoon. She had spent six hours with him, and not one time did they talk about surfing or training. It felt like a…date.

She took pleasure in watching his face as he talked. Having the opportunity to stare at him without it coming off weird was a treat. His big white teeth appeared often as he smiled or laughed which was frequent with her. When he was really cackling his gums appeared. If he thought she was saying something crazy, his eyebrows had a life of their own and moved in odd ways that had her cracking up.

"My family always teased me about that," he said touching his left eyebrow.

"It's comedy, dude. I'm listening to you talk, and it's like they're questioning the facts that you lay out. I'm dying!"

He slapped her hand and she slapped his back pinching his wrist.

Grabbing the menu leaning against the wall next to their empty shot glasses, he looked it over.

"You want any dessert?"

"Cheesecake."

He waved their waiter over and asked for Cheesecake.

"Chocolate or strawberry sauce?" he asked.

"Strawberry."

They shared the cheesecake with chunks of fresh strawberries in a puree sauce and talked about her declining the Scripps Institute internship she was offered.

"It was tough turning it down. Not too many Black people are there and then there's the prestige of the offer. It was a dream for a minute, but I want to give the pro circuit all my attention, y'know?"

"If you didn't surf, would you be a Marine Biologist full time?"

"Yeah. When I was a kid, I lived at the Birch Aquarium. I wanted to run that place when I grew up. When I was at UCSD I decided that if surfing full time professionally wasn't viable, I wanted to do research at Scripps on biodiversity and conservation. This climate change shit has impacted so much in the ocean. And that's on top of the fuckery humans do to the marine life and the water anyway."

"You could still do that after a surfing career."

"What would you do if you gave up pro surfing for good?"

"Pretty much what I'm doing now. I cut back on going full out for my kids. Calista was struggling with them. I was gone a lot. Had to make some family moves."

"I wanted to ask you about that. I was curious as to why you stopped competing so much. You were on your way breaking records. You could still do it. Slater is still out here doing his thing in his 40s."

"It does get tougher the older you get. The body starts changing and can't do a lot of what it used to do."

"From what I saw, your body looked fine."

She closed her eyes.

"That was the Tequila. Y'know, I better drink some water," she said.

She gulped down her water and felt her face sting with embarrassment. Erik bit his bottom lip with a smirk on his face.

"You want anything else?"

"No, I'm full."

He paid for their meal and left a generous tip. They wandered around the area to sightsee and ease their stomachs.

"You surf up here much?" he asked.

"Not really. You know how locals be acting, all territorial and shit. My boy Tadpole comes up here, but he's a white boy and they are less shitty to him."

"Yeah, I know how it is. When I first went to UC Santa Cruz and started doing my thing, these assholes used to put crazy glue on my windshield and flatten my tires."

"That's so fucked up."

"I know. I beat a lot of ass up there until they understood I wasn't going nowhere."

"Aggressive back then, huh?"

"You have to be if you want to win."

"Is that why Colin quit?"

"Yeah. He was good too. But you have to be an unrepentant beast out there. I used to watch Slater videos and talked to people about why he won so much. His whole crew just dominated the 90s and switched up what it meant to be a pro. The thing I was told, and what I witnessed in person with him was extreme calculated annihilation. That's what I did automatically. I am there to body niggas and those waves."

His eyes watched her closely as they walked together.

"Not everyone can do that," he said.

"That's why they don't win."

"Recognize."

Walking close together, their shoulders touched, their hands brushing lightly near one another. She wanted to hold his hand. It had been such a cool day with him. That morning she had been nervous and almost changed her mind about going to his house. She thought the worst, thought he was ready to toss her aside and revoke his help, and it turned out to be nothing of the sort. He had a lot of weight on his shoulders because of his own actions, but he also had children to care for.

He opened his car door for her and she stepped in. Watching him walk around she imagined in her mind that they were on their way to some exotic location for a vacation. He was a dog and a man hoe, but he still did something to her and she could have him in her mind as he had always lived. She sighed. Life wasn't fair. Why couldn't he have waited for someone like her?

Her old fantasies had them meeting up at the U.S. Surf Open. He would win the Men's Championship and she would win the Women's and they would be side by side holding their trophies and snapping pictures together on the winner's stand. She would turn to him and say something nonchalant like, "Congratulations. Do you want to go out?"

Of course, in her old daydreams, they would bypass the going out part and just go straight to fucking.

"You good?"

His eyes were on her as he pressed the start button on his Acura.

"I'm…yeah, I'm great. Thanks for the food and liquor."

He grinned.

They hit traffic heading back to Mission Beach. Erik played good music from his satellite radio and she sang off-key to an old Eagles tune.

"Who sings this?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes.

"Hotel California? The Eagles."

"Let's keep it that way," he teased.

She slapped his arm.

"Aye, I'm driving, girl!"

"I sing better with people singing with me. You should hear me and my Mom jam this together."

"Next time you do, call me, cuz you're slaughtering this song in a bad way."

"Hater!"

She punched his arm.

"I told you I'm driving."

He pinched her thigh.

"Ow!" she gasped.

She slapped his fingers and their hands playfully fought until he rested his right hand on her thigh.

"Okay, calm down," he said.

Tingles ran up and down her leg. The warmth from his hand heated up her skin and she sighed. He rubbed small circles right above her knee before removing his hand. Her breathing grew heavier and she turned to focus on the scenery flying by on the freeway.

Back at his house, she went in to use the restroom near the family room before leaving. She felt light and airy and giddy. She knew a little more about Erik, and it made her like him extra hard, more than she already did.

"Sugar, come back up here," he called down from the third floor.

She eased her way up the stairs again feeling a little nervous, but also curious.

He was back out on his bedroom balcony sitting on his lounger.

"Here."

He handed her bottled water.

"I'll feel better if you watered yourself down before driving."

"I'm fine."

"For my peace of mind."

She plopped down on the lounger next to his and twisted the cap open. She sipped and rolled her eyes at him. His cell phone vibrated.

"Hand me that please," he said.

She picked up his phone from the patio table.

Erik swiped the screen and his face froze. His finger shook.

"Erik?"

He put his phone down next to his right hip. His eyes closed and he shook his head slightly.

"What is it?" she said moving closer to him.

"Deuce. He wants to see me tomorrow."

Sabine touched his arm and Erik's bottom lip trembled. His eyes welled up and he wiped his hands across both lids.

"My son wants to finally see me."

A heavy exhale blew out from his mouth and he cradled his forehead.

"I can't fuck this up again," he whispered.

Tears fell freely from his eyes and Sabine threw her arms around his neck and rubbed his back as he released all his stress.

"You're a great Dad, just remember that Erik. He missed you as much as you missed him."

Erik nodded and she continued to hold him.

When his breath became soft shudders on her neck, he pulled back from her, leaning deeper into his lounge chair. She wiped her own eyes with the heels of her palms.

"I'm going to go, Erik—"

He pulled her down against him.

"Don't go yet. Please. I don't want you to leave right now."

She relaxed her body against his and he pulled her closer to his side and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He looked deep into her eyes and when he saw her own tears there, he wiped them away.

"I don't want to see you crying over me," he said.

"I'm just happy for you," she said with tremors in her voice.

His eyes were still shiny liquid pools of unshed tears and she reached up cradling his face. Pulling him closer to her, she rested her forehead against his. He closed his eyes and her lips found his.

She kissed him.

Tenderly.

Sabine closed her eyes and kissed him with a firm pressing of desire and compassion and that other thing that simmered deep down in her heart.

Love.


	18. Let Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik and Sabine explore some things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case I haven't announced it here, there will be a book 2 to this thing. "Beyond The Waves".

"I suppose now it's the time  
That we imply body soul and mind  
Do you mind  
I'll just love it  
If you will let me find myself in you  
Let me introduce you to a seduction  
That will guide you into another groove  
I see future in you  
I read pages of you  
And never get tired  
You get me higher  
Lets float away to another space another place  
I hope you'll retry what you've ever lost"

Floacist – "Let Me"

The softness of her lips slowed his heartbeat.

The first time she kissed him he felt the synapses in his brain fire up in strange new ways, but after time had passed, he thought it was just the excitement of kissing someone new.

That was a major untruth.

He knew it now.

Kissing Sugar snatched him up and held him in place. He felt everything at that moment.

The smell of the sea as the early evening wind blew the scent of sand, ocean water, and other odors that floated from way down the boardwalk from the amusement park. Warm air danced on his darkened skin and he could feel it most on the back of his neck where a light sheen of sweat rested.

He heard the breaking of the waves on the wet sand and the high-pitched screeches of seagulls and the muted voices of a few tourists and locals walking down the boardwalk. Sugar's tongue tasted sweet like the strawberries they had earlier mixed with the sweet and sour Margaritas they downed. The water he gave her moistened her lips and her kisses were wet and titillating. It made him greedy for more, and his own full lips devoured hers.

She worked her neck side to side like him trying to find all the ways to best join their mouths, but it didn't matter. The moment their lips fused together it was if they had become one being. He held the back of her neck with his hand to anchor her close. The lounge chair was big enough to fit two people and he found himself fighting the desire to push her down on it and climb on top of her. He wanted her to set the pace. Make all the boundaries.

The arousal between his legs was acute, and he felt his dick grow heavy in his light gray swim trunks. The pressure in his balls made him nervous. She had him riled up so fast. God forbid he should nut in his shorts within the next minute or so. Erik felt like he would.

Buttery lips so pliant, so greedy…this girl made him pull back from her. When he did, she grabbed his face with both hands and forced him back on her mouth. He smiled, his lips splitting wide as their teeth clicked against each other in her rush to stay attached to him.

Placing his right hand over her left one holding his face, he pulled it back and pushed her back.

"Slow down," he whispered.

Her eyes darted to his lips and she licked her own making him groan deep in his throat. Heavy lidded eyes greeted him and he heard soft wanton sighs fall from her. Leaning forward he kissed her cheek and the soft enticing skin on her clavicle.

"Killmonger…"

The sultriness of her voice made his balls jump.

Sugar's left hand lifted up his sleeveless t-shirt, he pulled it off to keep it from falling back over her fingers as she pinched and fondled his nipples. He watched her hand rub across the planes of his chest and he wondered what was going through her mind. Was she reliving the fantasy of him that she may have painted for so long? Was he anything like she imagined him to be? Those soft fingers made their way down to the hairs under his belly button that made a soft path down to his…

Her eyes took in the straining heavy print in his shorts. Rock hard and ready, his erection made her lips part and he could see the pink of her tongue tip moving inside her mouth. He traced his fingers along her neck, past her throat, and let it fall on her left breast. Her eyes followed those fingers as he traced it along her nipple, feeling a piercing there. He plucked at it and her eyes closed with pleasure. He did the same to the other nipple and the purring she was doing deep in her throat made his toes bunch up.

"Can I touch you?" he asked.

The rumble in his voice made her nod her head yes.

Reaching up he pulled loose the teal string bikini top revealing round plump breasts with upturned dark nipples decorated with small silver barbells. Her tits gave him more than a handful to hold and he squeezed to feel the weight of them with both hands.

"Beautiful," he murmured.

Her eyes never left his. He fondled her chest for a long time, teasing the piercings with tugs and light swirls of his fingertips. The calloused parts of his fingers made her nipples even more sensitive to his touch. She groaned loud and long when he lowered his head and engulfed those nipples with his big lips. Her legs shook as he sucked on her, letting his tongue get used to the metallic taste of the piercings.

Raising up he stared down between her thighs and let his fingers drift there. The heat between her legs let him know she was ready for anything. He tugged on her swim shorts and she wiggled out of them willingly.

Fuck.

She had a plump brown mound to match those plump titties. Sugar was shaved real close down there, nearly clean-shaven. Her legs fell open and he could see a shiny barbell embedded vertically in her clitoral hood. The top part was a dark blue gemstone, and the bottom part was a silver ball much like the barbells in her nipples.

His dick throbbed.

He rubbed his thumb across the top of her clitoral hood to touch the gemstone and she hissed under her breath. Her thighs opened wider. Dragging his thumb down to the silver barbell he let it slip down to her inner labia. They were already sticky and he could see wet pink inside her pussy. He pinched her inner lips together and Sugar's lips quirked with pleasure. Seeing those plush lips of hers react to his fingers, he dragged his thumb back up to her clit and rubbed tight slow circles in a counterclockwise direction.

"Oooooohhh..."

Her right hand clutched at his arm. He played with her clit even slower drawing out intense groans from her mouth.

Erik watched her vulva grow fatter as her inner lips fell open on their own from the engorgement.

"Pretty pussy…" he groaned pushing his thumb harder against the gemstone.

He started tapping on it gently when he saw her opening glisten with her own natural lubricant spilling out in pearl-sized drops and sliding all over his fingers. The pressure of his dick pushing against his shorts neared an unbearable discomfort. He adjusted himself between his legs and her eyes seemed to grow wet staring at his hard bulge.

"You want to see my dick again?"

She nodded vigorously and it made him chuckle.

Glancing down at his shorts he saw a dark stain on top of the material. He touched it with his finger. His pre-cum had soaked through. He gathered up some of his own lubricant and played with it, showing her the mess he was making because of her.

"Got my dick ready, girl."

She leaned forward and licked his fingers clean with that hot pink tongue of hers and he stuffed his digits deeper in her mouth. The suction she was doing with her tongue and lips made his heavy dick jump.

"Fuck, girl. That how you suck dick?"

He pulled his fingers from her mouth and kissed her again, allowing his tongue to probe every corner. He bit her bottom lip lightly before smothering her entire mouth with his own. Releasing her, he played with her breasts again, cupping them with his warm hands and pushing them together so he could run his tongue back and forth over both nipples. Sugar's head fell back when he bit her tips gently letting the metal scrape against his teeth.

Erik slipped his thumbs in the band of his shorts and pull them down his hips and over his ready length. Her eyes widened and her tongue licked her lips watching him grip his thumb and index finger just under the fat wide head of his dick. More pre-cum spilled out and dripped onto his firm thigh. He stroked himself with a deliberate twisting of his fingers to squeeze more glistening fluid out for her to see.

"Play with your pussy for me," he demanded, leaning back a bit to give her room to open her legs wide.

Erik wanted to see how she manipulated her clit. He wanted to learn everything he could so he could master her body.

Lifting her knees up, Sugar slid the fingers of her right hand down to caress the hood of her clit. She wasn't shy about masturbating in front of him. Her eyes were glassy and her lips parted. The jeweled nipples on her breasts were pebbled dark pearls. With the solar lamps working on his balcony, he could admire the blessing being out in the sun earlier had done to her skin. Jesus, did this woman even know how fine she was? How decadent she was lying open like that for him? She almost made a nigga want to break down and cry for her beauty.

Those dark sultry eyes beckoned him to take her…

"Oh fuck…" he gasped.

His dick grew firmer in his hand if that were even possible since he felt like he could break stone with his wood seconds ago. The root of his dick throbbed every time he brought his fist down on his balls.

Her hand patted that fat kitty and he saw strands of her own juices stretch and shine in the light of his balcony lamps.

"Keep playing with that pussy…fuck…you nasty little…oh shit you making this dick hurt baby…"

He dropped his head down as he fisted himself. Erik was losing his grip on the situation by looking deep into her eyes. Everything he was feeling physically was heightened by the fact that he was in love with her, and shit was feeling hella different because of that.

She slipped two fingers inside of herself and the sounds from her wet pussy made his lips curl up tight. It sounded sloppy and so ready for a heavy thrusting. Sugar was a high-caliber athlete so he knew she had the stamina to last for the length of time he wanted to stay inside her walls.

Slow down…

Closing his eyes, Erik beat his meat listening to the gushy sounds her fingers were making. He had to take her in a little bit at a time now. He wasn't ready to cum, and he didn't want this to end soon.

They had both tossed professionalism out of the window for the moment.

"Killmonger…"

Her voice pleaded with him.

"I want you to cum, baby," he encouraged.

Another deluge of pre-cum fell from his tip and slicked up his dick from root to tip.

"Make that pussy cum."

The bass in his voice made her fingers flick that ripe clit fast and hard. Her folds were spread open so slick and so inviting. His dick felt hot and throbbed in his hand as he stroked himself. His fist pounded his balls now. He fought the urge to lift her up and drop her on his erection raw. What he wouldn't give to ejaculate inside of her and tell her that he loved her while he did it. She had him wound up and the need to release was building to a crescendo he wouldn't be able to control if he didn't get her off first.

Her eyes watched his hand work his dick.

"You like how I stroke my shit?"

"Yes."

Her pink opening winked open and closed at the sound of his voice. She wanted his dick bad.

He reached over with his left hand and played with her tits as she manipulated her clit and her folds.

"I like how that pussy is sounding. You think my dick would make it louder?"

Her mouth fell open and a desperate mewling erupted. Loud cries of pleasure rang out form her.

"Please!" she shouted.

"Cum for me, Sugar. Show me you want this big dick—"

"Shit!"

Those furious fingers worked that clit harder, slapping and pinching it at intervals, making the friction from her piercings heighten the sensations each time she touched them.

He was losing it himself watching her pleasure herself. Her pussy just spewed out natural lubricant and all he could think was that she didn't need any lubricated condoms if that was how juicy her pussy got on its own. Fuck.

"Tell me that's my pussy," he blurted out focusing his fingers under his tip.

Her body was covered in sweat and her fingers were losing traction from all the wetness she released.

"Tell me," he said moving closer to her.

"This is your pussy!"

Her words were a slur of rushing air.

"I wanna nut so bad in you, Sugar—"

Her hips bucked and he watched her juicy pink opening contract over and over as she wailed out his name. That fat pussy was just throbbing at the thought of him putting all his semen deep inside.

"…such a good girl. Look at your pussy…."

It was still throbbing and he couldn't take it anymore.

Shoving her fingers aside, he dropped down and placed his entire mouth over her vulva and drank up everything. That hot throbbing pussy was a heartbeat in his mouth and he vibrated his wide tongue against her jeweled bud. He had to press on her stomach to keep her down on the lounger as her hands clutched at his scalp. Keeping his eyes on her face he watched tears squeeze out of her eyes as another orgasm rolled out from her making his mouth more wet and slippery.

When the tremors in her body finally subsided, he eased his tongue up from her folds, but not his mouth. He rested it on that vulva helping it to calm down. When soft pants fell from her lips, he began to lick her folds and kiss them into submission. Pushing her legs up in the air, he got real comfortable as he ate her out again.

Soft flicks to her clit, gentle nibbling to her inner labia, Erik took care of that pussy letting Sugar know he wasn't one to play with when it came to pleasing his women. His facial hair added extra ticklish friction and when he rubbed his entire face in her stuff she gripped his head again and shouted his name to the ceiling. He felt comfortable enough with her to dip his tongue in and out of her. He spelled almost every letter of the alphabet inside that woman and when he got to the letter 'L", her back arched up from the lounger. She came in his mouth again, her release rippling all across her body. He caressed her breasts as her body spasmed, playing with her nipple piercings as the tension in her limbs relaxed.

"Nigga!" she shouted throwing her hand over her face as she collapsed into herself.

Erik rubbed her legs and thighs until she rolled back over staring at his face. Her eyes dropped to his turgid dick.

"Can I take care of you?"

She didn't have to ask him twice.

Jumping up to his feet he stood in front of her, his erection pointed straight at her face.

Those damn eyes of hers.

Sugar stared up at him and held his length at the base.

"I can't believe I get to do this. For real," she said.

He grinned but that shit disappeared the moment she wrapped those lips around him. Her tongue rested under the head putting pressure there. Licking all around the head she gave his dick soft kisses, sliding her wet tongue up and down and around the sides of his length. He was accustomed to women gobbling his shit and deep throating from jump, but Sugar took her time, her eyes staying on his as she gave him sensual corrective dick sucking.

He placed both of his hands on top of his head and thrust forward a little. She pushed back on his stomach controlling the depth, those brown eyes still on his face. When her tongue went under his dick and started licking and sucking his balls, his left hand grabbed her hair. She lifted up his dick to get to the back of his balls and when she started kissing the space between his nutsack and his anus, his legs shook and he groaned her name.

"Damn, Sugar!"

Her short fingernails caressed his balls as her mouth returned to his dick. She took her time and soon she was working her neck and throating his length deeper. Sugar had tongue tricks that rivaled his own. His balls grew tight then. Her hands still fondled his sack giving it gentle scratches with her nails. She also knew where to press into the back of his sack up into that nether space to massage his prostate. The girl had skills. He rocked back on his heels when he felt that orgasmic build-up rise.

Sugar peeled her lips back from his dick. His pants had increased but the respite she gave him at that moment let him catch his breath.

"You like it?" she asked.

"Fuck yeah, keep going, baby."

She toyed with his dick, giving small licks and flicks to his slit.

"Do I suck your dick better than that woman in New York?"

His face scrunched up trying to figure out who she was talking about.

"What about the one you were kissing?"

Her tongue dragged so slowly going up the side of his dick. She kissed the head before swirling her tongue around making it wet and sloppy. Her saliva had his length shining and some of it fell on her chest with those perky nipples saluting him.

"Or that other one who was grinding on this big dick…?"

Shit, this girl liked to play dirty.

"What about Dana?"

He grabbed his dick and stroked it.

"You suck my shit real good—"

"Not good, better," she corrected.

She played with her nipples as she spoke to him.

"You like it when I cum in your mouth, huh?" she crooned.

He felt the hairs on his neck rise again. He fisted himself a little harder and a little faster.

"I love it when you cum in my mouth."

"I can tell," she said.

Her full lips kissed his tip and rested there.

"Your dick is so hard…"

Goddamn her voice was turning him on so much. His arousal was peaking.

"Can you cum on my face while I play with my pussy, Killmonger?"

She widened her legs and her fingers toyed with her clit. That jeweled fat bud made him drop his head forward.

"Cum all over my face—"

"Fuck…Sugar…I'm 'bout to bust this fat load—"

"Please…"

Those full lips of hers pressed into his balls and he sprung up onto his toes. Sugar's face tilted back and she opened that lush mouth and stuck out her tongue

"Oh my fucking, God! Sugar…Sugar!"

"…all over my face…."

"I'm nuttin'! Oh, you nasty little bitch!"

The spurts came hard and fast. Sugar tilted her face back at a perfect angle and he shot a thick white hot load all over her tongue and cheeks.

"Goddamit…goddamit—!"

His sack throbbed squeezing out more cum, and he was shocked to see more of his semen spill out onto her breasts. He lost his balance for a second and grabbed for her shoulders when she wrapped her lips back around his dick and sucked out whatever else he had to give.

Sugar moved aside and let him flop down onto the lounger gasping for air.

"Fucking trying to kill me, girl! The fuck?"

He lifted up onto his right elbow to look at her.

His semen glowed a silvery-white on her skin like some illicit renaissance painting. He couldn't stop staring at her. The knots in her hair made her look like a Queen upon a throne. One who was ready for more.

Erik stood then and lifted her up in his arms. He carried her inside to his bedroom. A look of nervous worry crossed her face.

"It's okay. I just want to eat your pussy some more."

"Let me wipe my face off—"

"Nah. I want to see you covered like that."

He kissed her lips before he placed her on her hands and knees on his king-sized bed.

Erik ate her pussy from the back, spanking her ass when she tried running from his tongue, and when she was ready for more, he had her sit on his face and grind while he jerked off. He spent the night kissing and licking and biting her body all over before he allowed her to shower and clean herself. He left her sated on his bed while he cleaned himself after her.

There was no intercourse between them. The only penetration was his tongue and his fingers in her pussy and in her ass, and he made sure to get permission to do it each time. He followed her lead and when she couldn't take anymore they stopped.

He held her in his arms, her body on top of his, her head resting in the crook of his neck.

"Stay the night. I just want to hold you."

"Okay," she whispered.

They stay cuddled and listened to the surf breaking.

The house phone rang on the second floor. He glanced over at his digital clock on the nightstand. It was only nine. The answering machine picked up.

"Dad? It's me again. Mom wants to know what time she should drop me off…stop grabbing for the phone…I'm talking to the answering machine."

Deuce sounded annoyed.

"Daddy, I want to come over too!" Marina shouted in the background.

Erik moved Sugar to the side and he climbed out of his bed nude and padded down the stairs to the second floor.

"Hey, Deuce, I'm here. You two can come over whenever. I'm not training tomorrow."

"I kinda just wanted us to be together, alone."

"Put Marina on the phone."

"Hi, Daddy! Can I come over too?"

Erik heard movement from upstairs. Moments later he saw Sugar heading past his office. He tried to get her attention but she kept walking. The door alarm went off downstairs letting him know she had left the premises.

"Daddy, you still there?" Marina asked.

"Yeah, baby girl. I'm still here."

Rubbing his forehead, Erik wondered what Sugar was thinking. About him. About everything. But at that moment, he focused on his children. Especially Deuce.


	19. Kiss of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar reflects on her night with Erik...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Humming along nicely!

"When I was led to you  
I knew you were the one for me  
I swear the whole world could feel my heartbeat  
When I lay eyes on you  
Ay ay ay  
You wrapped me up in  
The color of love

You gave me the kiss of life  
Kiss of life  
You gave me the kiss that's like  
The kiss of life"

Sade – "Kiss of Life"

Sabine could not get over how delicious it felt to have Erik's mouth all over her.

From his tongue to his teeth, to those cushiony cotton-soft lips, he planted seeds of passionate kisses on every inch of skin she had on her body. Her last orgasm came from face-riding him, his wide tongue fucking her sopping wet pussy until she collapsed and rested her face against his headboard gasping for air. His lips and cheeks glistened from her juices and she could hear his hand stroking that firm dick.

"C'mere," he grunted.

Sabine fell onto her back and he crawled on top of her dripping with perspiration and stroked his dick until ropes of thick semen spurted from his slit all over her chest. She could see his balls pulsing in rhythmic squeezes working that cum out of him. She wanted to eat his ass but she was exhausted from his intense loving of her body.

His hands touching her breasts had her flesh overheating and when she couldn't handle all of the sensations that were hitting her at once, she tried to escape his mouth and he didn't like that. Lifting her up by her waist, he threw her over his knee and spanked her like she was a naughty girl caught being bad. She'd had her ass spanked before, but not for that long. The stinging strikes her ass cheeks got from his entire hand made her pussy jump.

"You gon' act right now?!"

She couldn't stop him because he had her arms held tight behind her back with his other hand as he spanked her.

"Tight little ass," he groaned.

His erection rested against her hip as he tore her ass up. She promised to be a good girl and he fingered her on his lap, playing with her clit piercing and folds until she was crying real tears and cumming at the same time. And he still wasn't done with her after that.

She loved it.

He dominated her, but he also gave her opportunities to opt-out if it became too much for her. She pushed herself to go as far as she could until she crumbled. Pussy destroyed.

For an older man, his erections seemed to come easily.

The last man she had been with after Jamon was a thirty-eight-year-old Black bank manager from her old bank who liked popping Viagra to keep his dick up to handle her. She thought men over thirty slowed down once they reached their peak, but Erik took care of himself physically and she found no issues with the level of firmness his dick was able to give her. He came three times, once on her face, once inside her mouth as she inserted a finger in his ass and tapped his prostate directly, and the final time he shot semen all over her breasts.

She loved that he was so vocal, yelling out her name as he ejaculated. He was attentive to her needs and asked her directly what she wanted. Sabine came so hard the first time Erik made her masturbate for him. She could see her pussy twitching, the exquisite orgasm making her anus contract too and Erik watched all of it as she gave throaty whimpers with her lips parted. His lips were poked out watching her pussy throb and release sticky clear fluid. He groaned so loud and her pussy throbbed even more. She fed off of his pleasure watching her.

When he pulled his fat dick out, she saw that those old photos that circulated with that Spanish chick didn't do him justice. Her mouth watered for it and she slurped up her spit before it fell out of her open mouth. It was automatic. Dick out. Mouth open. The head was a perfect spongy mushroom cap she loved on men and the solid shiny brown color made the cross-section of veins on the sides look intimidating, especially with the girth. He was above average in length and her mouth had some difficulty taking it in. She wasn't one of those hardcore deep throat girls but she did her best and he seemed pleased.

He had a filthy mouth.

The words he used while sucking on her pussy made her ears hot with the salacious sounds. He called her out of her name. Slut. Bitch. Nasty little slit. His little fuck toy. She was ready to be all and any of those things for him. She hadn't even gotten a taste of that dick, and she was already willing to give him anything he wanted.

Her fantasies were nothing like what he did to her. She had criminally underrated him in her dreams.

No wonder Calista was fighting tooth and nail to keep him and to also punish him for trying to leave. Sabine could imagine the terror she felt knowing what he could do and knowing he was giving it to other women…

Melancholy settled over her then.

When Erik went to shower after pulling off the top cover of his bed that they had soaked, she sprawled out her limbs resting nude on soft expensive cotton sheets. Her fingers rested on her belly and she listened to the water that was probably coursing down his back like sexy rainwater in all the erotic fantasies she had of him.

He crawled into bed, his body slightly damp, and asked her to stay with him. She agreed to do it, hoping for more sexy times in the morning. She was on the pill. She had condoms in her purse and she knew he had condoms in his bathroom. He could bust her open and she would let him give her some morning loving until noon. She felt her clit swell as it tugged on her piercing. He had her in heat.

Erik's fingers stroked up and down her back and she loved how right it felt to be with him in his bed. She had stars in her eyes, tingles flowing through her body, and his heartbeat was thumping against her breast. They kissed off and on and she just knew they were going to make love. His dick swelled and then the phone rang.

Her heart stopped.

It was late in the evening. The children weren't there. It had to be a woman.

She closed her eyes waiting with anxious breath for some IG model, or Hollywood hottie to ask for his dick over the phone.

Instead, she heard his son Deuce, and Erik was pushing her aside and leaving the bedroom with that fat dick swinging between his legs.

When she heard Marina's sweet voice, Sabine jumped off the bed and quickly dressed.

It was wrong for her to be there.

It was wrong for her to be involved with a man in the middle of a messy and contentious divorce.

It was wrong to be pining for some other distraught woman's dick.

Sabine felt sorry for Calista. She didn't know the woman well, but Sabine knew from a few observations that she was a loving mother who would do anything to hold her family together for her children. Plenty of people filed for divorce but eventually got back together.

She also had to face another fact.

Erik was not faithful.

What he had done to her body he had done to countless others. She probably wasn't that special to him, just something new, a novelty to break up the long line of white women he ran through that the public only saw online. His personality at home didn't seem to match up the hoeing he did. But then again, he had wrecked her private parts and she was done for the night. He probably needed a full stable of women to satisfy his insatiable habits. A lot of women got on their knees for him and let him spill semen on their faces. A lot of women arched their backs as he ate out their ass. A lot of women swallowed his sweet and salty cum as it dripped all over their wet tongues.

Who was she to think she was an exception? She was just a willing and available fangirl.

Shaking her head, Sabine left his bedroom on wobbly legs. She passed by his office without looking and when she was outside, she ran to her van and drove away fast. When she was blocks away, she pulled into her parents Taqueria.

Papi was still working the night shift.

He saw her face when she walked in and he left the kitchen to join her in an empty booth, the only empty booth available. The shop was a popular nighttime spot with all the nearby bars serving mediocre food.

"Mija, what's wrong?"

She didn't mean to start crying but Erik had her emotions in turmoil.

"I think I messed up a relationship."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Is it someone I know?"

"Not really. I crossed a line and I don't know if I can get it back to the way it was."

"Want something to eat?"

She nodded.

Papi patted her hand. When he returned minutes later, he had a plate filled with smoky black beans, saucy Spanish rice, grilled corn on the cob sprinkled with seasoned queso fresco, a pile of savory carne asada, and freshly made corn tortillas.

"Eat," Papi said.

Sabine ate her Dad's food and he watched her face.

"Ready for Oceanside?"

"Yeah."

"Taking two boards?"

She nodded stuffing meat and beans into the tortillas.

"Training with experts are paying off. You look strong. Muscles rippling."

Sabine made a muscle with her arm.

"I lost a lot of weight too," she said.

"Water weight. You've always been long and lean. Could've been a model."

Sabine snorted and rolled her eyes.

"It's true. You are gorgeous. You don't see it because I'm the one saying it."

"Me, a ton of make-up, and unnatural posing are not a good mix."

"I've seen you pose on the board. You got what it takes."

"Thanks, Papi."

"I have a beautiful daughter."

Sabine paused in her eating. Erik had called her beautiful. Well, he called her tits beautiful.

She finished her food. Papi tapped her hand.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks, Papi. My mind is going a mile a minute."

"Coming to the house to sleep?"

"No, I'll probably drive up to Oceanside tonight and camp out. Hang out with Bibi's crew in the morning."

"Be safe. Do well up there. We'll try to come up if we can to watch you-"

"Wait until next weekend when I do Huntington Beach. Belmira will be there."

"For the love of God and the Virgin Mary who looks after you, Mija, keep out of trouble—"

"Papi—"

"The two of you together is…aye... nada más que problemas."

"Eso no es cierto—"

"No fighting, no starting shit—"

"Papi—"

"You heard me. A champion can't have a reputation like that."

"Too late," she said stuffing the corn between her teeth.

"Don't disappoint your mother with poor behavior."

"I'm bringing those high scores home with me."

"Your averages have been pretty good."

"I know. Improving too. Make room at the house for my trophy."

Papi stood up and kissed her forehead before returning to work.

"You should stay at the house more often. We like having you there."

"Getting my hustle on."

She watched her father head into the kitchen as a long line of customers waited for his specials.

Sabine was always on the move.

She could never stay in one place for long. Not only was she a nomad, but she was an adrenaline junky too. The highs of surfing, the highs of chasing that one great wave burned in the back of her eyes. She loved traveling and if she could snag some decent sponsors, she could travel on someone else's dime and become a permanent globetrotter.

The drive up the coast was quiet. She found a rest stop that she often used as an impromptu camping spot. Bundled up in her sleeping bag on the floor of her van, she moved around on top of the pallet she had made to make her sleep comfortable.

Her cell phone buzzed.

Erik.

She let it go to voicemail. He didn't leave a voice message. A text popped up.

Are you alright? Why did you leave?

She texted him back.

I'm fine. You have family stuff to deal with. I don't want to mess it up with Deuce.

Her phone buzzed again. He was insistent.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, you didn't have to leave. He's not coming over until noon. I'm taking him to lunch so we can talk."

"I would feel uncomfortable being there knowing he was arriving tomorrow."

"You sound upset."

"I'm just tired."

"That's why you should've stayed. I was planning to cook you breakfast—"

"Erik… I shouldn't have done this…with you. Not now. I know you're getting a divorce, but…"

"But what?"

"I want a clean slate. I want you…I mean…I want us to just be about the training for now. Okay? I was weak tonight. I was living out a long-held fantasy but it's not good for me. I need to get my game face on—"

"I understand."

"You do?"

"I get it. Maybe we shouldn't have hooked up like this, but I don't regret it. I want more to be honest. But I hear what you're saying and I agree. My kids…they come first in my life."

"Yeah…"

Sabine felt her stomach drop.

"Sugar?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I'll keep it cool on my end. You don't have to worry about that. I won't make it weird for you."

"Me too. It's just best, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know."

"You have fun with Deuce tomorrow. I'm happy that you two can get together again."

"Me too. Hey, if I don't see you next week or the next, have a good trip and do well."

"Thanks. I will. My homegirl Belmira is sharing a spot with me—"

"Belmira Sousa?"

"Yeah."

"She's a contender. I didn't know you were friends with her."

"I thought you did your homework on me."

"I don't keep up with crews anymore."

"That's my set, the Bad Cat Crew."

"Brazilians are coming up strong."

"Taking out the Australians left and right."

"I see you hanging with the wild bunch."

"All day every day. Me and Belmira been running together since our junior championship days. She's got serious sponsorship now. Momo, Gato Pete, and Esmee…that's who I roll with overseas."

"Jesus, that is…whew Lord."

"No different than you and Colin and them. I've heard stories. I know people think I'm the ringleader for shit, but that's Belmira."

"I know. Hang tight with her. Your crew is your lifeline with attracting attention. Belmira is hot right now. It'll rub off on you, especially if you place—"

"If I place? Tuh. You mean when I place. I coming for necks."

"I hear you, baby."

Sabine dropped her cell phone to her chest. Please, God. No pet names. Not now.

"Make sure you watch the competition with Colin. Watch me smoke everyone."

"Just catch some good waves. Remember, the best surfer…"

"…is the one having the most fun. I know. I know."

"Sugar…"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For today. You let me have a little escape at lunch. I enjoyed talking with you."

"Among other things."

He laughed.

"It was fun for me too. You're not always a crotchety old man."

"Do well and hit me up when you come back. Um…just text me."

"I will."

"Night, girl."

He hung up first.

"I hate this," she whispered.

Her voice sounded lonely and hollow inside her van. She rolled over in her sleeping bag and heard the scattered motor sounds of cars driving on the freeway. Curling up in the fetal position she couldn't sleep. Erik was on her mind. She eased onto her back again and pulled her panties off. Fingers fumbling on her vulva, she lightly stroked her clit thinking of his lips again. It didn't take long for her to become sweaty in her bag as her folds became slick once more. She smeared her natural lubricant onto her clit and tapped on her jewelry there sending sharp tendrils of pleasure down to her toes. Tugging on her inner lips she imagined him there with her, watching her masturbate again.

"Fuck me…fuck me…fuck me….ooomph…fuck me…please….I'm cumming…I'm cumming…ohmigod….ohmigod…yes…yes…your little slut is cumming for you…"

Her release made her slump into a wet ball of sweat with pussy juice dripping from her fingers that needed to be in Erik's mouth. She needed to kiss those big lips and taste herself there and all over his face once more.

She wanted to cry again.

She could never be a priority in his life. His children came first. She would only come forty-ninth if she was lucky. Pulling out her cell phone, she tortured herself with those recent pictures of him and his lovers. That's what he wanted. That's what he would have when his divorce came through. She was lying to herself to think she could act normal around him, act chill and not weirded out that he ate her pussy. Those big lips made her cum. She sat on that man's face. Had him lapping up her loving between her legs.

How could she go back to a normal relationship after that? She knew for a fact that her clit would start jumping the moment he walked into a room with her. Christ on a cracker. What had she done?

###

Sabine had a good beach day with her Oceanside friends the next morning. But the day of the Nissan Super Girl Pro, it all went to hell.

Because of Belmira.


	20. Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar and Belmira compete together and run into some problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Who told you to come to be

With a heart sized like the ocean?

Tamar Kali – "Ocean"

Belmira Sousa had been Sabine's international bestie since she was thirteen.

Brazilian, dark-haired, and dark-tempered, Sabine found instant kinship with Belmira because she was a stone-cold shark. Black-eyed, and bold like Sabine on the water, their friendship crystallized when they both realized they would have to work harder to get respect and recognition compared to fellow surfers who had easy access to resources to participate in the sport.

Like getting to a beach every day.

Affording a surfboard and all the gear that came with it.

Fighting locals who were not only territorial but often dicks to women. Often racist without thinking they were.

There were times when Sabine and Belmira would travel together to competitions they had saved up for and could only survive on bread, cheap peanut butter, and bananas the whole time. They slept on beaches in rotation to keep an eye on their gear because they couldn't afford hotels. They both had dreams of sponsorship and titles and suffered the grind of trying to make it. Their fellow Bad Cat comrade Esmee was from Ecuador and she had complaints about her country only wanting to sponsor women surfers who looked like models.

All types of women surfed around the world, but every time Sabine checked out the web pages for the competitors on the circuit for women, the majority were white, often blonde, and quite a few came from surfing family dynasties. Their set was thrilled when Belmira was sponsored by a high-end international sports clothing brand, Athletican. She could afford to stay in hotels and eat more than peanut butter and fruit nowadays. Belmira knew it was because she herself had model looks and because she was a white Brazilian. However, she was also from the streets and from a working poor family, so she stayed in solidarity with others who did not have access to the things they needed which was beyond their control. Belmira took no shit, but she gave it when she felt it was needed to be given. Sabine was more often than not right there with her.

They were both slated to compete at the Nissan Super Girl Pro in Oceanside and the Vans U.S. Open in Huntington Beach and Sabine couldn't wait to hang around her girl for two full weeks inside nice hotels that were paid for. Sabine was dying to have room service and catch up on all the pro surf tour gossip. Belmira was on her way to being invited to the Championship Tour the following year. Ranked number eight in the world, she was a shoo-in with her high scores and stunning performances around the globe thus far. Sabine was ready to bust that girl's chops full time now. Belmira was a great surfer. Sabine believed she was better. Belmira knew this and welcomed the challenge and the camaraderie.

It was hard traveling the world as a pro and having to hear criticism about not being a nice girl or not being overly bubbly and friendly. Sharks didn't make friends. They were apex predators. The Bad Cat crew was really a shiver of sharks moving among dolphins. Camaraderie was important in the surfing world. People traveled far and wide together and bonding was important to get through the good and bad times. Sabine just felt like her grouping of friends were the liminal outsiders. Most of them came from poor backgrounds and sometimes it was hard adjusting around people who had always been comfortable. They didn't feel sorry for themselves; it just made them hungrier to win and dominate the sport. They wanted to show the world that Malibu Ken and Barbie clones didn't own the waves. The waves belonged to the world. Sabine planned to be the Queen of that world. One day.

Driving up to the Oceanside Double Tree Inn, Sabine found Belmira lounging at the hotel pool slathered in Hawaiin Tropicana suntan oil, her hair in a high pigtail. The moment she saw Sabine, she jumped up from her plastic lounge chair squealing and throwing her arms around Sabine's neck.

They gave each other cheek kisses and held hands walking into the hotel bar together.

"Where are your things?" she asked.

"In my van."

"I'm so happy to see you. I'm sad Esmee couldn't come. She has sponsorship from the government now, but she's only getting two hundred dollars a month."

"That barely covers—"

"Don't even get me started. How is your family? Papi and Máe Belinda are coming?"

"Maybe next weekend. There's a street festival in Mission Beach so they're busy trying to make that money. All hands on deck."

They drank a couple of beers at the bar and decided to spend time testing the waves where they would be competing. The weather was hot and the breezes absent so it felt good being in the water. The first hour was fun as they talked a mile a minute about Belmira's new Australian boyfriend who moved to Brazil to be with her. Her man was another competitive surfer but was caught up in Belmira's love magic and now sold surfboards and taught surfing on the beaches of Eastern Rio.

Sabine slapped hands with Belmira on the water as they caught up.

"Will Yolanda think about competing?" Belmira asked.

"I don't know. She's a beast on the water too, but now her mind is on grad school. It's been hard thinking about what will happen to us in the fall. We hang out as much as we can now, but once she starts grad school, it'll be different. Now that I'll be doing this full time, I don't know when I'll see her in the future."

"San Diego is your home base, so of course you'll see her."

"Who knows, I'll be moving around a lot.

"The one thing you are good at is staying in touch with people."

"It's hard though. Last week, for the first time, it really hit me that my university days are over. The apron strings have been cut. Everything I do here on out is my doing. At least at school, I had a pre-made schedule, everything was set in stone. Now…anything could happen."

"So…any new dick in your life?"

"Ohmigod you never stop!"

Sabine splashed water on Belmira as a large wave lifted up their boards and they scrambled to keep their balance while they floated over the back of it.

"I saw the pictures you posted. Training looks insane. What's it like being around Killmonger? I met him twice last year at the Australian Open and he was hanging out in Hawaii when I was there. He's pretty intense."

Sabine's eyes darted to the water in front of her and she twirled her fingers near the rails of her board. Belmira paddled closer to her.

"Is he mean? He seems cool in person and on land, but in the water…meu Deus. I would be scared to do a heat with him."

Sabine rubbed her thigh.

"Well?"

"He's intense."

"I knew it. You hit him up for help with sponsorship?"

"No. The training he's paying for is enough."

"He's paying for your training?"

"I only pay for my food."

"He's sponsoring you then. A personal sponsor."

"He's not covering my travel."

"Maybe he's investing slowly."

Sabine closed her eyes and thought of Erik's lips going up the side of her neck peppering kisses along her jawline and holding her on his lap while he ran his fingers…

"Sugar?"

"I have to prove my worth out here. This weekend is my first pay off to him."

They watched a few other surfers join them on the line and Sabine stretched her back. She could see vendors and staff for the surf event setting up for the next day.

More surfers paddled out and Sabine recognized a few contenders for the men's division of the event.

"Belmira!"

One guy waved to Belmira and her girl acknowledged him with a hand wave.

"Ooof, Crampton is here. Fucker," Belmira grumbled.

Sabine looked around Belmira and saw the man she was talking about.

"You two beefing?"

"Asshole."

They greeted two white female surfers who were competing and they were friendly and welcoming to Sabine, both of them excited to see new faces coming out.

Waves began to show out and they all rock and rolled.

Belmira made Sabine take notes, and she watched her buddy carve up waves better than some of the men who swept past them.

"This you," Sabine called out.

"Jump on it with me!"

Belmira took off and Sabine did too, but so did Crampton on the same wave behind them. Sabine watched Belmira crouch down low and drop down to make her bottom right turn while Crampton didn't ease back to let her have the wave by herself. He bent his knees, reached out, and grabbed Belmira's leash causing her to fall off of her board.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Sabine screamed at him.

Crampton flipped Sabine off.

Belmira had a wave fall over her before she could grab her board and Sabine changed directions to check on her, dropping down into the water with her.

"You okay?" Sabine asked.

"I'm fine."

"You get hit with his board at all?"

"No."

A few other surfers shouted at Crampton, but the man glided his board all the way to shore. Belmira grabbed her board and went after him. Sabine was right behind her.

"Que porra e essa? Monte de merda!"

Belmira struck Crampton's arm to get his attention.

"Learn to surf, bitch."

"Fuck you," Sabine said.

She stood right next to Belmira.

"She had that wave. You should've fallen back when she passed you," Sabine shouted.

A few other surfers came over to try and diffuse the situation.

"Uncool, Crampton," a white male surfer with a neon rash guard said.

Crampton pushed back his tawny lank hair and stared Belmira down.

"Keep your hands off of my board…bitch," Belmira spat.

"Know your place on the line-up. You're supposed to be a pro, right?" he said.

"Take it to the water folks, we're here to have a good time," another white male surfer said with kind eyes and a jovial expression.

"Let's go, Don," a female surfer said grabbing his arm.

Sabine recognized the woman. Stephanie Zhang, a Hawaiian surfer that was doing well on the circuit. Her slick black hair hung to her shoulders and her eyes looked pissed at Belmira. Don glanced around at the other surfers and walked off with Stephanie.

The mood soured for Sabine. Belmira's face looked like it was ready to fight everyone.

"Let's go eat and relax by the pool," Sabine suggested.

"Yeah. We need to get ready to whoop some ass tomorrow."

Sabine drove them back to the hotel and they left their boards in her car in the protected hotel parking area. They showered and dressed in cute babydoll dresses and walked to a Denny's restaurant that was close by. They ate and scrolled on their phones. Sabine checked Delta Airlines for cheaper flights to France and North Carolina for two more qualifying series events in August while Belmira wore her earbuds and checked for surf reports.

"Sugar, look at this…your personal sponsor is talking about you!"

Sabine was tucking into a turkey burger as Belmira shoved her cell phone under her nose. A popular online surf show had a Zoom chat with Erik. Belmira rewound it and put it on speakerphone.

The moment she heard his voice, Sabine felt her body shiver. It was an early morning interview and Erik's voice was gravelly and a little deeper than normal. He was sitting out on his bedroom balcony with the view of the ocean. Seeing that space made her clit thump and she wiggled in her seat.

There was the usual surf chatter and Sabine didn't mind because she was so caught up in Erik's face. He looked so relaxed. Reconnecting with Deuce must've been great for him. He laughed a lot with the interviewer.

"Everyone is excited that you'll be making an appearance at the Vans U.S. Open…"

Sabine's mouth fell open.

"You didn't know he was competing?"

"I was focused on the women."

"He's going to be there…wait here it is…listen…"

The male interviewer turned to their co-interviewer, an old school longboarder who judged many U.S. surf competitions.

"You've seen a lot of up-and-comers over the years Killmonger. Any newbies on your radar?"

"France has some great new talent, Katriane Varte, Etienne Sadoul. I've been peeping Japan's Takuya Mifune, he's dynamic on the water. Australia always has the hotness. Brazil has Fernanda Golias and her brother Paulo—"

"A lot of international names. Any homegrown talents in the U.S.?"

"Jack Hanks is good, I'm curious to see how he does in Huntington Beach. Hawaii's Zoe Cassell is doing very well—"

"Vans now sponsors her and she's really showing the world what she can do—"

"No doubt."

"Anyone else?"

Erik paused for a moment.

"Sugar Bennett from San Diego."

Sabine caught her breath.

"The former Junior Champion," the older interviewer said.

"Yeah. She's one to really watch. I've been mentoring her a bit and she'll be out here doing her thing full time now."

"Surfing is about to become an official part of the Olympics. Would you say she and the others you have named from the U.S. could become the inaugural representatives for us?"

"I think so."

Belmira squeezed Sabine's arm.

"Sugar! Killmonger just endorsed you to the world!"

Sabine swallowed nervously. The pressure was on now.

"I have to crush it tomorrow," she said.

"We both do."

They ate in silence then walked back to the hotel arm in arm making travel plans together for France.

"Eyes will be on you tomorrow. Killmonger has set you up for sponsors to take a good look at you…what's wrong?"

"A part of me is happy he said what he said…but…"

"You're worried about disappointing him?"

"Yeah."

Belmira stopped walking once they reached the hotel lobby. She put her hands on Sabine's shoulders.

"This is your life now. Every time you step onto a beach the world will be watching you. Judging you. Killmonger handed you his name to help you stand out. Be yourself out there and it will all be fine. Sponsors will be knocking on your door. Watch."

They took the elevator to Belmira's room and Sabine felt butterflies, marbles, and pop rocks all in her stomach.

###

Sabine focused her eyes on the flags flying in the distance as she floated on her board in the third heat of the day. Two other women floated there with her. One of them was Stephanie Zhang. They had thirty-five minutes to surf the best waves they could catch. Sabine received great scores, her last two turns on the waves earned her an 8.5 and a 9. She was leading the other two women who were catching abysmal waves. She had to make sure her highest combined two-wave heat total stayed higher than the other two.

The one female surfer from New Jersey who surfed with them, Gretchen, was easily intimidated by Stephanie. Sabine didn't pay much attention to Gretchen because her judgment of the waves she caught was poor. Stephanie, on the other hand, was a pain in the ass. Sabine was a shark, but Stephanie was an octopus who oozed fake compliments to Gretchen. She'd stroke people with one tentacle as if she were a friendly comrade, but seven other arms would reach up from the deep to strangle her competition. That shit didn't work with Sabine who cut eyes at Stephanie and took every opportunity to aggressively snatch the waves Stephanie dropped away from out of indecision.

There was no limit to the number of waves they each could take in that thirty-five minutes, only the two best scores were counted, so Sabine tried to take all the exceptional waves she found. The swells were good and the waves were jacking up to six feet, so she was able to finesse her scores by doing maneuvers that would garner higher scores from the judges with the higher degree of difficulty and innovative moves she could muster. Speed was her forte, so she did her best to use a combination of moves each ride to garner the highest scores from the judges as much as possible. It seemed to be working.

Doing her research on the judges, she knew one of them was a fan of tricks, so she waited for another high wave to roll in so she could do a Superman aerial. Glancing behind herself, she saw the perfect wave coming through. Gretchen had already gone and received a 6.8. Stephanie took off and Sabine waited to see what she would do since she had priority at that moment. Stephanie's hand slipped and she looked like she was pulling back to go in another direction so Sabine took off and dropped in her place.

She was going on her forehand and went down the line of the five-foot wave doing a slight bottom turn. She didn't go too steep. Kicking her board up, she let the wind catch it and projected her board toward the beach as she let her feet drop away from it. Grabbing the rails with her hands, she lifted the board high in the air as she found the perfect landing spot back onto the trough. Planting her feet on the board once more, she landed perfectly and ended with a sweet 360 before kicking out and returning to the line-up.

Stephanie was red in the face and Gretchen gave her a thumbs up.

"That was interference! You were snaking me!" Stephanie screamed at her.

Sabine saw an interference flag waved.

"Fuck!" Sabine shouted.

She knew that ride was a high score for sure, but now she would only get to use one of her highest scores instead of her two best. Sabine had hoped the judges would count Stephanie's pullback as taking her turn but squandering it. They didn't. A miscalculation on Sabine's part. She lost her priority position.

"Amateur," Stephanie spat.

"I'ma still blow you out of the water," Sabine quipped paddling further into the ocean. There were seven minutes left for the heat. She had to make something happen.

When it was her turn to charge next, Sabine had a fast bottom turn to the left of the wave and carved on that bitch. She put all her weight on the rails and buried the left side of her board in the water drawing a nice arc that kept her in the curl. A white spray of water splashed on her as she twisted back fast in the opposite direction. She clenched her fist knowing she would beat her high score with that ride. Sabine made sure to keep her eye on the color-coded priority board just to be safe.

Gretchen had priority next and fell off of her board when she miscalculated her drop in speed.

A nice glassy wave appeared. There were only twenty seconds left. Anyone could take the next ride.

Sabine went for it. Stephanie did too.

They stood at the same time on two separate peaks, but then the peaks swept toward one another trying to meet. Sabine felt she had the right of way and Stephanie refused to move out of her path. Sabine refused to fall back. They swiped past each other and Sabine hit Stephanie with her shoulder out of frustration and Stephanie jerked her shoulder back into her.

The heat was over.

She and Stephanie received a double interference call on a non-priority ride. Sabine was given zero points and disqualified from the heat because it was her second interference call. Stephanie's second scoring wave would be cut in half.

Sabine cussed Stephanie out as they left the water and Stephanie got a little too close to her arm and Sabine was ready to punch her.

Belmira ran up to pull Sabine away as surf officials stepped forward.

"She has to leave the competition area immediately."

The head judge, a ruddy-faced man in his fifties, stood huffing and puffing in front of them. Sabine stormed off with her board. That was part of the rules. When she glanced at the final scores on the scoreboard as she walked past, Gretchen had squeaked past both Stephanie and Sabine with her best scores that were lower than every score Sabine and Stephanie had received.

###

A woman from Florida won the Nissan Super Girl Pro. Belmira placed third.

Sabine sat with Belmira in a local bar filled with many of the competitors. Knocking back shots of Tequila and pomegranate martinis, they commiserated over the last two days of events.

"What's fucked up though is that I was killing it…bitch my Superman was fucking icy out there. Bitch, Christopher Reeves would've come back to give me some dap for that shit," Sabine complained.

Belmira's eyes were red and her words slurred as much as Sabine's. They weren't quite sloppy drunk, but really loose and easy.

"Killmonger left me two voicemails and I can't even listen to them," Sabine lamented.

She wiped the condensation on her fresh martini glass and stared at Belmira with wounded eyes.

"Call him. He can give you some advice on how to save face," Belmira suggested.

Sabine took out her phone and erased both messages from him.

She spoke to her parents earlier and explained her side of the ruling, and her mother told her not to let other people get her down. Papi was disappointed but they were proud of her performance and gave her tips on how to use more daring moves on the water. It felt good to talk to them.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

Belmira had Sabine's phone in her hand and she swiped a number.

"I'm calling him for you," Belmira said.

"Shit!"

Sabine grabbed her phone back and swiped to end the call.

"Now he's going to see my number on his phone!" she whined.

"So?"

"You make me sick."

"Stephanie makes me sick," Belmira grumbled, "oh, speak of the devil."

Sabine glanced in the direction that Belmira was looking in. Stephanie and her dick boyfriend Crampton were seated in a booth with two other men near the exit. Sabine's phone lit up. A picture of Erik that Sabine took of him at Black's Beach filled the cell screen.

"Answer it! Belmira squealed.

"No!"

"Answer your phone!"

Sabine closed her eyes and picked it up.

"Sugar."

"Yeah?"

"Why you sound like that?"

"I know you saw what happened and I'm sorry."

Belmira's face was shiny with excitement. She kept making goofy faces at Sabine.

"What did you learn?"

His voice sounded playful.

"You're not upset with me?"

"For what?"

"I was disqualified. You were online talking about I was a surfer to watch and I got kicked off the beach."

"You think I haven't been where you are?"

"This could hurt your reputation."

"You did really good out there. You might've been in the top three had you advanced to the semi-finals."

"But you said good things about me and I was dinged for unsportsmanlike behavior."

"Learn from it. Move on."

"It was cool what you said…about me. Thanks."

"It was true. Focus on next weekend."

"I get to see you then. I didn't know you were competing."

"My picture is on the website line-up."

"I must've missed it."

"I miss you."

Sabine pressed her lips together and turned away from Belmira.

"I can stay cool but still miss you, Sugar."

She closed her eyes. The thumping of the bar music vibrated around her as the martini warmed up her blood.

"Is Deuce okay? You two work it out?"

"He's better. We're still working through it, but he's staying with me this week before I head up to Huntington Beach."

"Good. Is Marina well?"

"She is. They're both downstairs asleep."

He was in his bedroom. Probably laying on that big comfortable bed. Sitting at the bar Sabine could remember the smell of the ocean breezes flowing through his room.

"I'm here with Belmira at a bar and it's really loud. We're about to leave. I'll see you next week…"

Sabine turned toward Belmira's seat but she was gone. Her eyes darted around looking for her until she heard a commotion at the entrance.

"Bye, Erik," she said hanging up.

Stuffing her phone in her purse, she ran over to Belmira who was arguing with Stephanie and Crampton.

"…they were wrong! You gave up that wave, but she was already going in a different direction. You would've still had priority—"

"Fuck her and fuck you!" Stephanie shouted.

"Let's go," Sabine said grabbing Belmira's hand.

"I forgot my purse."

"Where is it?"

"I left it hooked on my seat."

Sabine and Belmira eased through the crowded bar back to their seats. Two women snagged their vacant stools.

"Just getting her purse," Sabine said.

Belmira took a minute to unhook her purse in her inebriated state.

"Got it!" she said waving her purse around.

Crampton and Stephanie approached the bar.

Belmira tried to ignore the two, but Crampton blocked her path. Stephanie had her arms crossed glaring at them both.

"I'm not wasting any more breath on you shitty people," Belmira said.

She shoved past them but Crampton grabbed her by the back of her hair and swung her into Stephanie who stumbled into a barstool and fell. Sabine grabbed onto Crampton's hands to get them off of Belmira as her Doc Martens stepped on Stephanie who fumbled around on the floor screaming. Belmira got loose and started windmilling Crampton while Sabine kicked him in the legs knocking him over on top of Stephanie.

A bouncer lifted Sabine up and carried her outside the bar as another bartender dragged Belmira out by her arm. Adrenaline ran all through her and she squirmed in the bouncer's arms trying to run back into the bar and whoop ass properly.

"Let go of me!" Belmira shouted.

Crampton and Stephanie limped out of the bar with their friends and the chaotic scene made Sabine's head hurt.

She continued flailing in the bouncer's arms until the cops arrived, handcuffed them both, and carted them off to jail.


	21. Don't Ask My Neighbor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar gets the help she needs...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all. I'm still shocked this story is coming out like this. I must've really needed to tell it!

"Don't ask my neighbors  
Don't ask the friends I hang around  
Don't be afraid to come to me  
Don't ask my neighbors, come to me  
Don't be afraid of what ya see  
You'll find I love you, come to me  
Don't be afraid"

Gary Taylor – "Don't Ask My Neighbors"

Sabine was terrified.

Too scared to call her parents, and too scared to call Yolanda or Asia because they would call her parents, she sat next to Belmira in the holding cell trying to figure out who to call. Her Oceanside crew drove to L.A. to go clubbing. Tadpole and his clique would most likely be strung out on acid trips in OB, and not worth the risk of having them attempt to drive forty-five minutes up the coast to Oceanside.

Belmira couldn't call anyone being an international visitor. They both were desperate to keep this disaster quiet. The only person she could call was Erik, but he had his children with him, and it was eleven at night and they were sleeping. How could she ask the man going through his own problems for help? It would mean he would either wake his children and bring them to another city to make their bail or scramble to find someone to watch them and risk Calista finding out. She didn't want to ruin his life with child abandonment accusations in their contested divorce proceedings.

There was only one person she knew who could help, but she didn't know if he would.

Colin.

The cops had her personal belongings and she had to either call a lawyer or family. She was thankful that she memorized numbers and Colin had an easy one to remember.

When she was allowed phone usage, she dialed his number with nervous fingers. She was shocked when he picked up on the second ring.

"Colin?"

Her eyes filled with tears so grateful that he answered.

"Sugar? What's up?"

"Were you asleep?"

"No, I'm a night owl. I was up looking over some work stuff…what's going on?"

"I need your help. Me and my friend Belmira were arrested for assault and we're at the Oceanside police department on Mission Ave. I hate to bother you this late, but we need bail, and I don't want to call my parents…"

Tears flowed fast then, and she wiped her eyes feeling shame course through her entire body. Her heart felt so heavy.

"If no one gets us within twenty-four to forty-eight hours they may transfer us to the Chula Vista South Bay Detention Facility—"

"Okay. Calm down Sugar. I'll come get you guys. Don't worry. Give me your friend's name again."

"Belmira. Sousa. B-E-L-M-I-R-A. S-O-U—"

"The surfer who placed up there, right?"

"Yeah."

"Let the authorities know I'm on my way—"

"I'm sorry I had to call you. Please don't tell Erik or Bruce—"

"Sugar, relax. I'm coming up there."

"Thank you."

"Sit tight."

Sabine hung up and felt her tears slow down. The confidence in Colin's voice made her feel secure. She'd had serious run-ins with cops before partying, being in sketchy places, and protesting police brutality. She'd talked mad shit to them too, but she had never been arrested and taken to jail. Ever.

She stressed over Belmira losing her sponsorship, and her own reputation in the surf world. All because Stephanie and Crampton accused them of instigating the entire altercation at the bar. Stephanie claimed that Belmira and Sabine conspired to jump her and did so as she was trying to get a drink at the bar.

She sat down next to Belmira and held her hand when she was brought back to the holding cell.

"Colin is coming to get us."

Belimira wiped the tears from Sabine's eyes.

"You are the bravest person I know and yet you cry so easily," Belmira said.

They had been photographed and fingerprinted during the booking and now they sat in a holding cell filled with two other women who were drunk, asleep, and slumped over the bench they sat on across from Sabine and Belmira.

Sabine gave a deep exhale and placed her hand over her heart. She'd pay Colin back the moment they left the jail. She hoped their court appearance didn't interfere with their surf schedules. Sabine could limp by without surfing for a couple of months, but Belmira had the most to lose with her sponsorship. Their careers were hanging in the balance. All because a white man and his Asian girlfriend lied on them.

"They had it out for us from the moment we ran into them," Sabine said.

"Crampton is that guy…a bully for no reason. He thinks he's the shit because he placed in a few major competitions. And Stephanie…that bitch is just…I hate her guts. She follows behind Crampton like he's the second coming. I know you joke about women being Karens over here, but Stephanie is the Chinese American version. Women don't like her being around."

"I wish you hadn't confronted her about our heat."

"Sorry. I couldn't let it go. Both of those calls were bullshit to me and a lot of people. But that's what happens when you come from a popular surfing family."

Belmira held Sabine's hand.

It was nearly two in the morning by the time Colin arrived.

The moment Sabine was able to walk free from custody, she ran up to Colin and threw her arms around him and cried.

"It's okay, Sugar. I got you."

Colin wasn't alone. A crisp and serious forty-ish looking white man with a perfect part on the left side of his lined up brunette tresses walked inside the jail.

"Who is that?"

"Your lawyer. Dax Milner. He's representing both of you. Don't worry about a court appearance. That man is a killer. He'll do his best to keep this shit quiet."

Sabine and Belmira gave heavy sighs of relief.

Sabine's cell phone vibrated. She pulled it out. It was Tadpole.

"Yo, man," she said.

Sabine followed Colin to his Mercedes and hopped in the backseat with Belmira waiting for their lawyer to return.

"You and Bel are over the net right now. The chatrooms are insane…Sug, your mugshots are out here! What the fuck happened up there?"

"What?"

Colin stared at her from the front driver's seat. She clutched Belmira's arm.

"That chick Stephanie did a Livestream telling people what you did to her…"

"Fuck! I'll call you back."

Sabine's chest hurt again. Her family would find out what happened. Erik's reputation was trash now. Advocating for a jailbird.

Papi and Mommy would be crushed. She felt tears welling up again. She used her phone to go online. Swiftly swiping letters, she found the mugshots. That fucking fast.

She showed Colin. Belmira's hand went over her mouth.

"This isn't right!" Belmira lamented.

Dax walked back to the car and got in the front passenger seat.

"Their mugshots are out," Colin said showing Dax Sabine's phone.

Dax's handsome yet no-nonsense face stared at the photos. He looked back at Sabine and Belmira.

"If it's any consolation, which I'm sure isn't helpful with how you two are feeling right now, these are some great pictures."

Colin smiled.

"He's right. Hate to say it, but you look good in these mugshots. Pissed and ready to throw hands again."

Colin reached over the driver's seat and rubbed Sabine's arm.

"It'll be alright. You've got the pitbull working for you guys."

Dax handed Sabine her phone back and he was immediately on his own phone. Lawyers this pricey working in the middle of the early morning was some serious rich people shit.

"You two hungry?" Colin asked.

"My stomach is in knots," Belmira said.

"You should eat."

"I just want to go home," Sabine whispered wrapping her arms around her own waist.

Colin's eyes wouldn't let her go.

"Sugar, I promise. I got you."

The tone of his voice sounded…it sounded like Erik's after she rested her head on his chest naked and sated.

Her eyes flicked away from his. The shock of the night was heavy on her.

"I'm at the Double Tree Inn," Belmira said.

Oh yeah. They were still in Oceanside. She couldn't go home. Not now. She was scared to.

Colin drove them to their hotel and both men walked them to their room. Belmira flopped on top of her bed and Sabine sat on the edge of hers. Dax and Colin sat on the two side chairs near the hotel window.

"You sure you don't want anything to eat?" Colin asked.

"No."

Dax handed Sabine two of his business cards.

"What happens next?" Belmira asked, her eyes red from stress.

Colin stood up.

"Get some sleep. We're on it. Dax, I'll get us some rooms—"

"You're staying here?" Sabine asked.

"Yeah. We're getting this shit dropped."

Dax followed Colin out of the room. Sabine jumped off the bed and ran after him.

"Colin."

He turned around.

"I can't thank you enough. Erik's going to pissed."

"Dax has gotten Killmonger and me out of situations worse than this. He won't trip."

"You sure?"

Colin looked like he was about to say something, but then he glanced over at Dax. Turning back to her, his eyes were calm and kind.

"You and Belmira just rest today. Eat some food…listen to me…eat some food in a few hours and stay in the hotel. Stay off social media for the next two days. Dax will contact you both when he's handled some things…hey…Sugar…don't make that pitiful face. You'll make me cry."

He touched her chin.

"What if Erik calls me? What do I say?" Sabine asked.

"Don't ignore him. Text him if you don't want to talk, but don't dismiss him if he tries to reach you. I'm just saying. Go back inside."

Colin patted her arm and left with Dax. Closing the door, she faced Belmira.

Her cell vibrated on the bed.

She ignored it for a few seconds, then picked it up.

Tadpole.

"What's up?"

"Are you okay?"

"We're back at our hotel."

"Check it. There are a bunch of people posting videos of what happened. What were you charged with?"

"Assault."

"The videos I'm seeing show that dude attacking Belmira. Stephanie is trying to delete a bunch of texts she put out claiming you attacked her. A bunch of people screenshot her lies."

Sabine waved Belmira over to her bed and put Tad on speakerphone.

"How many videos are there?"

"Three so far from different angles. The best one is close enough to show Crampton…dude, he grabbed her hair hard. Sug, you got some good stomps in there, damn!"

"We need to tell Dax about the videos," Belmira said grabbing her phone to download proof herself.

"Thanks for the heads up, Tad. I'll talk to you later today," Sabine said.

"I'll see what else I can dig up. Steph and her boyfriend are being dragged all over social media. Surf heads are hot right now. Do you need me and the boys to come up? We can fuck up dude. We don't mind going to jail for you."

Sabine laughed. These crazy loyal white dudebro friends of hers. Tad was notorious for drunk and disorderly conduct for years. He didn't give a fuck. It helped to be white though.

"Night Tadpole."

"Night Sugar Pie Honeybunch. Send us the Bat-signal and we'll ride out of the bat cave."

She hung up and flopped back on the bed. Staring at the ceiling, she felt her stomach untwist for the first time in hours.

Grabbing her phone, she looked up her mugshot. The internet was crazy. A few clicks on the Oceanside police website and anyone could look up charges and copy photos. Stephanie and Crampton must've put them out for people to see.

Belmira stared at her own face on her phone.

"Colin is right. These pictures…I don't even remember smirking like that. My hair looks fucking amazing after fighting. Look at you…head tilted like you are daring them to say shit to you. Hair looks amazing."

Belimira fell out in peals of laughter.

"What?" Sabine asked, allowing a real smile to form on her face.

"Too bad we don't rap, this would make an amazing album cover!"

They both busted up.

"What would we call it?" Belmira asked, "You don't want this?"

"I wish you would?" Sabine cracked back.

They laughed again until they wiped tears from their eyes.

"This has been the best and worst night of my life," Belmira said, "place third and go to jail."

They curled up next to each other on Sabine's bed and fell asleep.

###

Sabine and Belmira sat inside the hotel restaurant eating an early dinner with Colin and Dax.

They slept for hours and by the time Colin was knocking on their door after six in the evening, they were starving for food and word on their case.

"Formal charges will be dropped tomorrow. Outside pressure and the media slamming of Ms. Zhang and Mr. Crampton forced them to recant their previous statements to the police."

"All those videos and calls flooding the Oceanside police department helped squash their lies," Colin said.

"But our mugshots are still out there," Sabine said.

"Can't be helped," Dax said sipping some water, "people have access to it. It'll float around and die off."

"Will my sponsor have a problem with this?" Belmira asked Colin.

"You're innocent. You were defending your person and there's video proof and witness testimony."

"How come those witnesses didn't come forward last night?" Sabine asked.

"People were drunk. They probably thought nothing serious would happen. Those two seemed to have a bone to pick with you," Colin said.

"There was a slight incident earlier before the competition. A little wave scuffle. Crampton dropped in on Belmira and pulled her leash. Knocked her over," Sabine said.

"He's always been a dick. It's not even his beach and he's trying to piss all over it," Sabine spat.

"It's over now. Dax will handle everything else," Colin said sitting back with a dinner espresso in his hand.

"I owe you. Both of you." Sabine said.

Colin shook his head.

"Dax is Surfgeist's protection. You are part of our family so we have you covered."

"My parents were so angry when I told them, but they feel better knowing we were defending ourselves."

"They hate me now, huh?" Belmira asked.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know, but they know when we get together anything crazy is bound to happen."

"Girl, I'm in it as much as you when we get into mess. I will say this was the scariest. I don't ever want to be around cops. They are trash, even if you are innocent."

"I just can't believe that an Asian woman would lie on a Black woman and call the cops. Had it been me by myself, none of this would've happened—"

"But you have an accent. They saw you as a foreigner. If I squint, you could pass as a regular California Latina. In their eyes, we were two darkies in a white space causing a ruckus."

"Stephanie's not white," Belmira said.

"Proximity to whiteness. A white man vouched for her. That's all it takes," Colin said putting down his espresso cup.

"Is it really over? I won't have a record or anything?" Sabine asked with a little worry still in her voice.

"You are good, Sugar. If anyone tries to talk to you, give them my number and I will take care of it. I will advise you both to not speak to any media about it. We don't want to flame any fires and keep this thing circulating. It hasn't been picked up by major news agencies yet, so I expect it to disappear quickly," Dax said.

"Thanks so much, Dax," Sabine said.

Belmira glanced at Sabine's phone.

"Killmonger," she said pushing Sabine's phone closer to her hand on the table.

Sabine let it go to voicemail and tucked her phone back into her purse. Colin took out a credit card and placed it on their check. He reached in the back of his jeans and pulled out his phone. He glanced at the screen and his eyes went to Sabine's face. His left index finger swiped his cell screen.

"Hey man. What it do? Yeah…I know about it. Naw, she's okay…I'm with her now."

Colin closed his eyes then stood up.

"Let me explain, man…."

Colin walked away from the table to take the call in private. Anxiety perked back up in Sabine's stomach. Dax took that moment to make a call of his own.

Colin came back to the table.

"He wants to talk to you," Colin said.

A waiter brought back Colin's credit card and he signed off on their dinner.

"I didn't tell him anything. The mugshots got picked up and folks started sending him messages."

"Did he sound upset?"

"Concerned. Call him."

Colin looked at his watch.

"We have to get back. You two okay here?"

"We're going to head up to Huntington beach tomorrow," Belmira said.

"I'll see you next weekend then."

Dax slid out of his seat and as Sabine and Belmira stood up, Belmira gave Colin a big hug and kiss on his cheek. She did the same to Dax.

"You saved us," Belmira said.

"The truth came out. That's all," Dax said.

Colin held out his arms and Sabine hugged him.

"Kick ass next week," said.

They watched the men leave the hotel. The collective weight of the weekend dropped away from their shoulders.

"I'm going to call my sponsors," Belmira said.

"I'm going to hang out by the pool for a minute," Sabine said.

She walked through the hotel and followed the signs that led to the pool and jacuzzi area. Finding a quiet spot to sit, she stared at her cell phone. Erik called three times and left one voice message. Her nerves were too jacked.

She typed out a simple text.

I'm okay. I'm leaving for Huntington Beach tomorrow. Have a great week with Deuce and Marina.

She sent the message and ignored all of his later calls, texts, and voicemail.

###

The story of their night in Oceanside blew up.

Their mugshots became memes, but instead of being a hindrance to their reputations, it did the opposite. When the entire story broke out about what Crampton and Stephanie did, Belmira and Sabine became the temporary darlings of the surf world. It was because of the pictures.

People loved them.

Sabine's own mother sat next to her on the beach watching Belmira's heat and commented on how photogenic they both were. Their looks became social capital that smoothed over the horrendous fears they had of blowback. She and Belmira went out to a beach club to mix and mingle with other surfers before the competition and someone snapped a picture of them that went viral. They truly looked hot together and there was speculation as to how well they would do. Stephanie Zhang pulled out of the competition out of embarrassment and deleted her online presence. Crampton turned all his social media private.

"They don't even look like mugshots…my God, the fact that I can sit here and say that one of my children has a mugshot—"

"Not their fault, Mommy," Robert said, laying his surfboard down next to him.

"Where did you go surf?" Sabine asked, touching his wet silky hair.

"Further down. Didn't stay in long, officials chased us out. I'll go back in after the last heat. How's Belmira doing?"

"Okay," Sabine said.

Her high definition sunglasses made it easier to watch her friend get down. Asia walked over with Papi and Yolanda carrying sodas and chips from the snack vendors dotting the beach.

"Waves are small," Papi said sitting next to Belinda and handing her a large drink, "stop looking at those mugshots," he said tapping his wife's phone.

"They look good. I can't help it. Most people look tore up going to jail, our daughter looks like she's on a photoshoot. Go figure."

"I need to get my vest," Sabine said.

She stood and wiped her bikini bottom of sand and tied her aquamarine rash guard around her waist.

"Put more sunblock on, baby," Belinda said handing Sabine a spray bottle.

"I have enough on. Waterproof and sweatproof."

Belinda shook the bottle.

"Not much left in here."

"I'll get some from my van."

Sabine grabbed her keys and clipped them onto the hip of her bikini bottom.

She walked down closer to the judge's stand to watch Belmira. There were ten minutes left and Belmira was up against an experienced pro from France. The two women had to contend with a lull in three-foot waves. Four days earlier, Sabine and Belmira surfed those same waters and worked on trying to practice maneuvers on small waves. That practice came in handy as Belmira did what she could with what piddling waves came her way. The scoreboard had Belmira in the lead. Sabine knew her friend would go on to the next round. The cool thing was Belmira had a lot of crowd support with hoots and hollers when she did well. Word had gotten around the beach and most people there were aware of who Belmira was. The same went for Sabine. Her 'fro was a dead give-away. She was asked to take pictures with young fans of surfing. She knew they wanted some clout, but they gave so much positive energy to her that she allowed herself to accept it and snap a few photos.

Time ran out and Belmira raised her hand in triumph. She paddled in as final scores were tallied. Sabine greeted her and gave her a big hug. They both could feel cell phones and professional media snapping pictures of them together.

Belmira would get a small break. Sabine wasn't due to perform for another forty minutes.

"I have to get my competitor's vest," Sabine said.

"I'll come with you."

They stopped and accepted cold bottled water from a fan before heading up to the official's table.

"Yay! Blue. Matches my rash guard, sort of," Sabine said.

"Sunglasses are cute!" Belmira said.

She pulled them off Sabine's face. The brightness of the sun made Sabine squint.

"How was it out there?"

"Weak ass waves. You'll have better luck than me. Supposed to get bigger in an hour."

"I know."

"Just get your ass into the quarter-finals so we can have a chance of squaring off."

"You tryna get beat beat, huh?"

"Keep talking—"

"Sugar!"

Sabine froze.

Her eyes darted around, and she saw him standing near a garbage can throwing away some napkins.

Light and tight Hurley t-shirt with light blue board shorts. Flips flops. Dark sunglasses.

Sabine wanted to turn and run the other way.

"Killmonger," Belmira said.

Erik waved his hand for her to come over to him. She wanted to stand her ground. Ignore him. She prayed someone would walk up and ask for a picture or start talking to her so she could slip away.

"C'mere!"

This was a little bite in his tone.

"I'll see you later. I'm keeping these glasses too," Belmira said walking away.

"Bitch," Sabine hissed after her.

She glanced back at Erik and he stood there with a water bottle in his hand. Sabine wandered over, but the closer she got to him, the heavier her legs felt as if she was walking through quicksand.

"Erik."

"You can't call me back and talk to me?"

"I was embarrassed."

She couldn't see his eyes through the sunglasses.

"You can call Colin, but not me. For real?"

She glanced around.

People knew who he was. And they knew who she was.

"Let's go somewhere else, okay?"

She walked a few feet ahead of him and he followed.

"Where you going?" he asked, a snappishness in his voice.

"I'm parked near here."

She led him to her van. Opening the side door, she invited him inside so no one could hear all her business. Sitting side by side, she still couldn't look him in the face. He took off his sunglasses.

Anger. Irritation. Disappointment.

Sabine read that all in his face.

"I wanted to call you. But I knew you had Deuce and Marina with you. I was scared to call my parents, or Asia and Yolanda. My other friends were out partying. Colin was my last hope—"

"You could've called me and I would've taken care of it. I would've sent Dax—"

"I didn't want to get you in trouble. I didn't want to mess up your time making up with Deuce."

She pressed her lips together willing herself not to cry. His voice sounded so unhappy with her.

He glanced out of the van window.

"You alright?"

"Yeah. Dax handled everything—"

"I know he did. I'm asking if you are okay. How are you feeling?"

"I was scared. I was worried about my reputation and yours."

He looked at her then.

He held his hand out to her. She moved her hand over and rested it in his.

"You don't have to worry about me."

He pulled her closer to him and she still couldn't look him directly in the face.

"Anything that goes down in the future, I don't want you to call anyone else but me, okay?"

"Your kids are your priority. You need to focus on that."

"You are my protégé. That means you are my priority too."

She nodded her head.

"Look at me," he whispered.

She lifted her head and met his eyes. He tilted his head and lifted his right hand to her chin.

"Tell me you'll call me first."

"I'll call you first."

"Say it like you mean it, Ma."

Her eyes dropped away from the intensity in his. He pulled her face toward him again.

"Say it."

His thumb stroked her chin and she felt herself feeling lightheaded from his touch.

"I'll call you—"

"Only me—"

"Only you."

His hand dropped from her face and rested down by her thigh. Staring at her face for a long time, Erik stayed quiet. She could hear voices of people walking back and forth behind her van, and the occasional roar of the crowd on the beach cheering on their favorites.

"I gotta get ready for my heat," she said.

"Okay."

She moved to get off of her seat and Erik struck her left ass cheek. Hard.

Sabine sat back down and rubbed her butt.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Punishment. For not calling me."

He reached over and rubbed her ass cheek. His touch made the slight discomfort die down.

"Maybe I won't call you now—"

SMACK!

The sting made her mouth fall open.

"Keep talking trash and see what happens, girl."

"What will happen?" she challenged, feeling the blossoming of pleasure awakening in her backside from his hand.

Erik pulled her onto his lap and untied the rash guard from her waist and let it fall down. Both of his hands gripped her ass cheeks and squeezed them. His right hand struck her again and she gasped, clutching onto his shoulders. Her bikini top brushed against his chest causing her nipples to harden.

"You want me to stop?"

"No!"

He slapped her ass cheeks alternately and she squirmed in his lap as he did it, feeling his dick get fat underneath her.

"You know what to say to make me stop right?"

"Yes!"

"You take this punishment until you learn your lesson. Understand?"

"Yes!"

Sabine pressed her face against Erik's and held on as he made her ass cheeks bounce and feel delicious pain that made her clit grow fat.

"I bet your pussy is getting really wet right now—"

"Yes, Killmonger…yes…ohmigod yes…"

She found her lips sucking on his t-shirt as he punished her ass. Groans fell from his lips as he soothed her cheeks with gentle rubbings before he pushed her back and forced her to sit side-saddle on his lap. His dick jutted up in a rigid peak. Two thick fingers pushed her bikini bottoms aside and he stared at her swollen pussy lips.

"Look how fat you got, baby."

Erik strummed her clit and lips like he was playing a cello. His fingers went in his mouth several times to lick away her sticky juices.

"You taste so good, baby."

Sabine's head fell back as he fingered her.

"Oooh…oooh…Killmonger…Killmonger!"

Erik wrapped his left hand around her mouth to keep her loud voice from attracting attention from all the people walking past them. He fingerfucked her with agonizingly precise strokes, curling his fingers to tap on her walls gently. She clutched at the erection in his shorts.

"You want some of that Daddy dick?"

She nodded and he slapped her hands away.

"Nah, bad girls don't get no Daddy dick."

She squirmed on his lap and he sank his fingers deeper in her pussy and she slumped into him.

"Pussy making all that noise. Shame on you, Sugar. People outside can hear this sloppy kitty."

Sabine squeezed her eyes shut. Her pants were heavy, and she could hear his fingers working her out so loud in the van. He pressed his lips against the shell of her ear. His teeth tugged on her earlobe as he wiggled his digits against one side of her pussy that had her whimpering and her toes pointing out.

"Baby, I don't think we can stay away from each other like this. I missed you so much. A week felt like a year, Sugar. It's hard for me."

He was hitting an exquisite spot inside her pussy and she was melting on his lap like grease in a hot skillet.

The alarm on her watch went off.

"Your heat," he whispered in her ear.

She had fifteen minutes to get to the judging station with her shortboard.

He slid his fingers out from her and licked off everything. Removing his left hand from her mouth, they both looked down at her folds.

The engorgement was ridiculous, her folds were frothy and shiny from his touch. She felt irritation as he slid her bikini bottoms back over her swollen pussy lips. Erik noticed the grim look on her face.

"You don't get to cum," he teased, "you gotta surf with a fat pussy."

She hit him on his chest.

"You don't get to cum either," she said rolling her neck.

"Yes, I do. Get on your knees."

Her eyes grew wide and he pushed her off the seat.

"Suck this dick."

He pulled down his shorts and she wasted no time wrapping her lips around his hot length.

"Oh shit…being such a good girl…ooh fuck…just like that Sugar…slide this meat in your mouth…tongue is feeling so good…God you're such a good girl. Take all that Daddy dick in your mouth…being such a good little bitch…letting me play in that tight pussy…such a dirty mouth…"

Sabine spit all over his dick and stroked him as she sucked on his balls. Her saliva soaked his erection from root to tip. She gave him some salacious tonguing on his tip that made the bulbous head swell up more.

Time was running out.

"Cum in my mouth…"

"Is that what you want?"

She nodded and stuck out her tongue. Erik beat his dick against the wet pink muscle in her mouth dripping with so much warm spit.

"Can I nut in your mouth, baby?"

"Yeth…"

It was hard to enunciate with all that girth in her mouth.

"Good girls get this thick nut. You gon' be a good girl for me?"

She nodded and Erik grabbed the back of her head.

"…shit…baby…tongue so sweet…here it comes…here it comes…get ready…ohhhhhhhhhh!"

He spilled hot and heavy in her mouth. She swallowed every delicious drop.

Her alarm went off again.

Sabine threw on her rash guard and slid the contest vest on.

"I have to get my board!"

Erik pulled up his shorts and she rushed him out of her van. He slapped her ass again.

"Show the fuck out. You hear me? Let these fools know you are here to stay."

He kissed her lips and she groaned in his mouth. Erik had her horny and agitated.

They separated, Erik went in one direction throwing his shades on, and Sabine walked in the opposite direction with tingles all over her body and a puffy wet pussy pressing against her bikini bottom.


	22. Electric Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar competes. Erik coaches. And then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again!

"All along the eastern shore  
Put your circuits in the sea  
This is what the world is for  
Making electricity  
You can feel it in your mind  
Oh you can do it all the time  
Plug it in, change the world  
You are my electric girl"

MGMT—"Electric Feel"

Erik stood close enough to see Sugar compete, but far enough away from the judge's station so he didn't have to interact too much with fans and spectators. The Men's Championship heats weren't happening for another few days, so he was free to observe and hang out with Colin.

"Waves are small," Colin said.

Erik nodded.

"She can handle small waves. San Diego has a lot of them."

"You talk to her?"

"Earlier."

"What's her mental state?"

Erik bit his bottom lip.

"She's good. Real good."

They watched Sugar and Australian Vera Eisner along with France's Katriane Varte paddle out for the start of their heat. All three women sat far in the water. Vera was a veteran with precise moves needing to compete in the WQS to get back into the World Tour after an injury and a dropping in ranks that prevented her from an automatic slot back on the major world tour. She needed to advance for a chance to be a wildcard for the following year. Katriane was a newbie with the skills to body Sugar, and Erik was bummed she was going against someone like that so early in the event. C'est la vie.

"She feeling the pressure?" Colin asked.

"Little bit."

"C'mon Sugar!"

A familiar voice rang out and Erik stepped forward to look past the throngs of bodies to see Sugar's family posted up near a home-brought flag that had the Black Nationalist red, black, and green colors on one side with the flag of Mexico on the other billowing above them loud and proud. Her parents were surrounded by her friends and her brother. Belmira sat on a blanket next to Belinda sipping on a Pepsi bottle.

Sugar shook her hands and stretched her arms above her head as the heat started. A swell rolled through against the backdrop of the Huntington Pier and Sugar went for it, dropping left and kicking up spray as she skimmed a clean mini-wave by gliding to the top of the small peak, then jumping her body backward on the board and riding in backward for a smooth five seconds before hopping forward again then kicking out. She threw up West Coast hand signs to a cheering crowd.

"That's my, baby!" Belinda Moreno shouted while standing up and pointing at the water.

"Aaaaaajajajaja-hoyyyy!"

Sugar's father Cedro gave a loud shout and threw up a West Coast sign back at his child.

Colin grabbed Erik's arm.

"Nigga! This girl is coming straight with the attitude!"

They gave each other a pound as they watched Vera take the next wave with a conservative but respectable display. Katriane seemed jazzed by Sugar's energy and tried to throw in some snazzy aerials and tricks too with less fanfare.

Sugar's next run was a bit of foot agility. The wave was crappy, but she made the crowd focus on her smooth tiptoes to the nose of the board and then the low crouching on the deck as she changed direction so fast that it made Erik's head feel like it had whiplash. She was able to get a small, impressive aerial at the end.

"I wish these waves were bigger," Erik said.

"She's making it work…ooh, she should've bailed on that one. She's going to get dinged on points…oh snap, Katriane fell so she's good."

"She's trying to take every wave, I dunno if that's the lick."

Colin glanced over Erik's shoulder.

"She's getting high eights and nines—"

"Gotta do better."

"All she has to do is keep more nines…ooh shit, that better be a ten…ah! 9.8…still good. The crowd is in her pocket."

Erik could feel the electricity in the spectators as they watched the future of surfing show all the way out.

"She's scoring in the same range as Belmira."

"She's dope too. Be nice to see them matched up," Colin said.

"Be like us back in the day."

"You know how I felt about that performative shit. Get the two Black guys to compete against each other. Divide and conquer."

"Sometimes. In the beginning. But you proved your worth. Shoulda stayed in it."

"That's all you. That killer instinct. Not in my nature. But fuck…she's got it. She's staying on they ass."

"She has something to prove."

The heat was done after twenty minutes.

Sugar advanced to the next round and she didn't need to be told that as she rode in with her fist in the air and her parents giving grito shouts and ululations. As his mother used to say, showing their color in public. He enjoyed it. And he enjoyed watching her.

The taste of her was still on his lips and tongue and it excited him to know that those long dark brown legs led to the center of a place he wanted to be. Soon.

The past seven days without seeing or hearing from her was torture. He didn't know how much he relied on her energy to keep him going until she was gone from his life. The children made him happy. Having Deuce back with him made him ecstatic. But it would've been even more soothing to have her there with them.

Marina asked about her every day, and even Deuce with his typical snarky mood inquired about her after he saw her mugshot online. His son was incensed when he saw Crampton grab Belmira's hair, but he was impressed when he saw Sugar jump into the mix without hesitation to help her friend.

A tap on his shoulder made him turn to his left. One of the surf contest commentators stood with a greasy grin on his sunburned face.

"Killmonger, happy to see you!"

Erik shook the man's hand.

"Good to be here."

"Sugar really came out of the box smokin'! I heard what you said about her recently. How long have you been mentoring her?"

"Only a couple of months."

The man slipped Erik his business card.

"I would love to do an interview with you two soon for the Waveline Podcast. It's great to see women of color thrive in the sport."

"Black."

"What?"

"Black. Sugar is Black. If we come on there, we're going to talk about Black women in the sport."

"Gotcha. Give me a call when you have time. Look forward to seeing you out there. Don't stay away so long again, you hear?"

The man patted Erik's back and trudged through the sand back to his area.

"Hopefully some sponsors will hit her up," Colin mumbled to Erik.

"They will. She just needs to place high in this thing and the next few events. She'll have the pick of the litter. Sponsorship has been tight with newbies, so she really gotta stand out. Money ain't rolling like it used to."

"Who you telling? Bruce and I have to get more bang for our buck. If she places high or wins, we're going to approach her."

"Serious?"

"Serious."

"That's w'sup, Black."

"We have a new campaign coming up with our Slater Wave Pool partnership. You guys talking still or…?"

"We're cool. Egos always come out when talk turns to records and shit. Y'know how it be…"

"Two sharks making nice. Well, keep playing nice cuz our girl could be the face of some things. Those fucking mugshots…my nigga, those two were serving looks with that shit. How they ain't been modeling gear is beyond me. You see this from the other night?"

Colin pulled out his cell and scrolled until he found Belmira and Sugar.

"Where was this at?" Erik said enlarging the photo.

"Some club out here. Dog, them come hither looks is too much. These two can be like you back in the day, a breath of fresh air. Shake shit up in the industry. We need something new. This economy now and the economic fallout from ten years ago? Shiitttt, we need a fucking change in direction. We need something to attract more people to the sport."

"Think she's it?"

"I know it. You know it too," Colin said taking his phone back.

"It's a grind though, dude. Folks out here starving and struggling just to get noticed."

"Cutthroat Island. What else is new? That's why I found my niche and got the fuck out. It's also why you were smart enough to branch out and diversify your portfolio. Being Black has been our good fortune. It can be hers too."

"The irony."

"It's not lost on me. Just stating the obvious. Look at her. People can't get enough of her. That jail shit just catapulted her into the limelight. We have to take care of her."

"I'll take care of her," Erik said looking Colin dead in his eye.

"Understood. Just be careful."

They walked away from the beach and toward a refreshment stand. Erik didn't want to talk to Sugar at that moment even though he was dying to. He wanted her to revel in that win with her family and keep her mind straight. The fact was, he couldn't afford to be seen cozied up with her too much.

Calista was making wild accusations to her lawyers about Sugar. The sad reality was that the accusations were becoming true. They had sexual contact, and even though there had been no full intercourse, he wanted it. Wanted it so bad he could taste it every time he looked at her. It wasn't just the release he wanted with her, he wanted to love her…give her love. He couldn't bring himself to tell Sugar how he really felt because of his divorce battle. He also didn't want to put that pressure on her, especially if she didn't feel the same way. His heart told him she did just by her responses to him physically. But the suspicious part of his own nature came into play. He'd known plenty of young women wanting to play games by wanting a Sugar Daddy. He'd played that role before only to have it reverse once those same women had a taste of the "D" and then shit switched up. Hence having Dax on his payroll. Sometimes those young women grew upset when he cut them off after moving on to the next flavor on his plate. Erik would send the Pitbull, and Dax would give that NDA reminder chat with a deep growl behind it.

Erik didn't suspect Sugar of being like that. Using him for gains. Had she never kissed him, he may very well have given her a little help and then been about his business. He felt ridiculous sometimes when he thought about it. A little one-minute kiss. Out of perhaps a couple dozen kisses from different women across the globe in over a decade.

He wanted to smash so badly, but he also wanted it to be special and have meaning for her. Just to hear her sigh in his ear had him weak in the calves and that was an anomaly of the highest order. Catching feelings this bad had him questioning everything about his life. How could he pursue a woman he was supposed to mentor? People would think he was doing it to get between her legs. His children were at the top of his list for love and protection and he wanted to place her there too without destroying his fragile family.

He had the feeling that Calista had him under surveillance to catch him in another liaison so she could prevent him from having permanent split custody. She was fighting him on allowing the children out of the country when he traveled. She was concerned that their kids would be spending time with his "whores". Erik just wanted the freedom to take Marina out for competitions. His daughter was ready to take the plunge, her confidence bolstered from Sugar's camp and her new training. Marina surfed twice a day and made him take her running. She started a little weight training in their Mission Beach home and was signing up for more junior league open invitationals. Instead of watching anime like Deuce, his baby girl watched his old surf videos and any wave riding online. Muffin had the talent. Their bond grew stronger.

How could he juggle all that home life and want to have Sugar too?

"Killmonger! Killmonger!"

A small group of white children ran up to him wanting to have pictures taken. Colin helped by using the four separate cell phones the youngins thrust in Erik's face for the photos.

"Killmonger."

Now a group of women with revealing swimsuits, dark tans, and honey mouths stepped in front of him. He took photos, ignoring some of the extra close pressings of bodies against him.

"I hope you win..."

A buxom raven-haired cutie purred trying to direct his attention to her cleavage and a tiny bikini bottom that barely covered her vulva. Any other time, he'd be all over it. But it rolled over him. He looked, but…that was it. Sugar was in his mouth and in his heart, and he had to protect her from scandal, and he also had to protect his children from more domestic disruption.

###

Her lips were tight, and her eyes were focused on his with so much intensity that it made Erik feel like he was staring at his younger self.

This bold, mouthy, assertive, gifted, and insanely beautiful young woman had surfed her bodacious ass off into the finals.

And now he was giving her advice on how to slaughter her bestie. Belmira.

"She's not your friend out there. That's your damn enemy. Hear me? No hand slaps. No dap. No peace signs. No kind words of encouragement. The waves are perfect and may jack up more. Get your ass out there and leave their blood in the water. Understand?"

She nodded.

"Let me hear you say it."

"She's my enemy."

"Not ya homie, not ya girl, not your best bud since you were thirteen. That's now a stank ass bitch. A bitch who wants to take your things. Same for Augustina. I saw those pictures of you at brunch with Augustina and having that sisterhood feminist bonding. Fuck all dat shit. Hear me?"

"Yeah, Coach."

He heard footsteps next to them in the parking lot near his jeep's driver's side door. They were partially hidden from so many prying eyes. When he looked over to his right a photographer was trying to take shots of them.

"Get the fuck outta here!" he shouted.

The photographer's face drained of color with Erik's thunderous voice attacking him and he moved his ass on with no photos taken.

Erik turned his attention back to Sugar. Her hair looked like a giant black sun and the orange bikini she had on made her darker skin pop with amazing red undertones. He tried to keep his eyes from dragging up and down her body, but he gave a sly glance at her thighs. Lord help him.

"You don't need to rely on tricks this time out. These judges want to see skills in the basics with a tiny bit of extra. Use your speed and that finesse you got when you're carving. If you can find a small tube, take it. Just don't get caught in the backwash and crash into the pier. People love that tube shit. When you do it, it looks hella cool."

She smirked and her glossy lips made him move in closer when he knew shouldn't.

"It's yours if you want it, Sugar. Unlike golf, or tennis which have individual players playing against other individuals, surfing is the ultimate 'just you' sport. Just you and the waves you choose. You fly or fall on your own. Got it?"

She nodded. He cocked his ear toward her.

"I got it, I got it," she said. Her face looked annoyed.

"Don't make no stank face with me, girl. You gotta say that shit out loud with your chest. I need to hear it from you."

She rolled her eyes.

"Keep rolling them eyes."

He didn't mean to put that much gruffness behind his words, but she caught it, and something flickered behind her eyes. Her lips moved, and she brought her legs closer together. His right hand dropped down by his crotch and he leaned forward so only she could hear him.

"Don't act up out here. You know what happens when you do."

A small sigh escaped her lips and her right hand dropped to her mound and he saw her touch where her piercing was behind the material of her bikini bottom.

His eyes darted around, and he blocked her from view as he pressed his index and ring finger against her hidden jewelry.

"I know you like it when I punish you. I like it too."

Tiny minuscule swirls from his fingertips had her mewling against him. It was so wrong. So reckless. He couldn't help himself.

"I feel you getting fat, girl."

He patted her vulva lightly making her gasp before he returned to her hidden clit. Grabbing the towel Sugar had in her hand, Erik held it against his burgeoning erection in his thigh-high black board shorts.

The danger made him take more risky chances. He pushed her against the jeep and slipped his fingers down her bikini bottom and pinched her clit.

"…wet…" he groaned slipping his fingers up inside of her.

His shorts had the rare zipper and Sugar unzipped him and pulled out his dick through the opening. She stroked him and the breath got caught in his throat.

"Such a dirty girl. Lettin me do this to you…"

They both looked around to make sure they still had privacy and they did, most people packed onto the beach waiting for the Women's qualifying finals.

"…fuck, Sugar…lemme have you baby…please. Tonight. I'm fucking losing it over you."

Her eyes were trying to focus but they were so glassy watching his face. He gritted his teeth when her fingers twisted under the ridge of his bulbous head.

"Lemme have you—"

"Yeah!"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah! Oooohhhh…!"

That simple affirmation made him explode.

Erik's hips jerked forward, and his glutes clenched tight as his semen shot out all over the side of his car.

"Fuck, baby, look what you made me do…big mess all on my ride and shit—"

Sugar kept stroking, squeezing his tip as she worked out more hot cum from him, watching it spill from her hand in large stringy drops all over the dark pavement. He felt her walls clench around his wet fingers then and he gave her short deep thrusts. Her pussy tugged and pulled, and he groaned knowing his dick was going to be there soon enough feeling that tight heat all snug around it. Tugging and pulling all over his thickness.

"I'm gon' fuck the shit outta you, girl. Just wait!" he gasped removing his fingers and gripping his dick, finishing off the last strokes that emptied his balls.

Voices.

Erik quickly tucked away his dick and zipped up his shorts as Sugar grabbed her towel from his shoulder and held it in front of her. An excited young couple walked three cars down away from them.

He was being stupid. Out in the open risking it all just to touch her.

They were definitely fucking after the day was done. He had to get it out of his system or else he would lose his damn mind pining for her and doing dumb shit like fingerbanging her out in the open. He was smarter than that. She had him fucked up. That was his only excuse.

"You go first, I gotta clean this off."

"With what?"

"I have water in the back."

She pushed up against him.

"Sugar, c'mon…we can't—"

She kissed him. Mouth open. Her tongue was still the sweetest thing in the world to him.

"I want you. I feel mixed up, Erik. I can't help it. I wish you could take me right now…right here—"

"Damn, Sugar…"

She pressed her forehead against his and they just held still. The scent of her hair was mint, her skin chocolaty cocoa butter lotion, and an orange-smelling sunblock.

"Go ahead of me. Remember what I told you."

He had to push her away to make her move. When she finally wandered off, he grabbed a gallon-sized water bottle from his trunk and dumped it all over the side of his car door. Nuttin' in public like some horny teen. Jesus.

His life had come to this.

###

From the start it was war.

Erik could tell Sugar took his words to heart because the moment they all stepped into the water together, she did not let up.

The waves were reaching five feet and at the height, the three women looked like they were dancing on tiptoes across the peaks near the Huntington Pier. Sugar and Belmira knew each other's styles and weaknesses, but Sugar was well versed in staying on someone's ass when she put that pressure on both women. Her only real problem was that she relied on a lot of trick moves instead of the solid oldies but goodies he told her to do, but she must've felt the need to do them since Belmira was throwing up nines and a few tens to Sugar's eights and high nines. Some people had to learn the hard way.

The one bright spot was the often rare and perfect tube that Sugar snatched like Prometheus stealing fire from Zeus that netted her the only ten of her final heat. Crouched low she projected herself through it and they all thought she was about to fall when her right rail hit the side of the water wall. She corrected her balanced in a crazy display of agility and flexibility and shot out like a cannonball in a spray of thick white foam that had the crowd clapping and cheering like crazy. Belmira and Sugar had an intense back and forth of shredding great waves with a global audience watching them.

But Erik saw it.

Sugar's body language could be read like an open book, and the way her shoulders slumped forward as the last three minutes ticked away, he knew that she knew that Belmira had won.

Sugar was the second-place winner.

And she hated it.

As the women left the water, Sugar gave Belmira dap and they both walked over to Sugar's parents to leave their boards. Belinda and Cedro, along with Robert and her two San Diego besties, Yolanda and Asia, gave Sugar hugs and kisses and congratulations until it was time for the two women to go to the winners stand.

Sugar did her best to stand there thrilled for her friend, but the coldness in her eyes let him know she was not handling it well. It probably didn't matter if Erik reminded her that she beat out fifty-nine other elite women surfers from around the globe, that she and Belmira threw out impressive high scores before averaging, and that she had just received a check for thirty-thousand dollars.

Nah.

Sugar stood there with her gravity-ignoring hair and bruising brown eyes simmering with a fire that Erik knew all too well.

That girl needed to be a winner. First place only. Fuck all that number two bullshit.

After it was all said and done and she stood near her family with her second-place trophy and money as pictures were taken of her and Belmira, Erik decided to step in and lift up her spirits with a pep talk-

Two sets of wildly flailing arms wrapped around his midsection nearly knocking him down.

"Daddy! Surprise!"

Marina's excited voice startled him. He looked down at his son and daughter with their wide grins on their faces. Turning around he saw Colin standing with Calista who wore big glasses and an even bigger floppy sun hat.

"They wanted to come and see you compete tomorrow," Calista said.

Behind her, Erik saw the stone-faced discomfort of his soon to be ex-in-laws, Margie and Todd Salinger.

"Are you surprised, Dad?" Deuce said.

His son had a genuine happy face and Erik hugged him and Marina tight.

"Yeah, I'm surprised. I'm happy to see you both."

He didn't want to, but his eyes flicked up toward Sugar.

Erik never wanted to see that look on her face again. The sparkle of tears he saw her wiping from her eyes were not from her family's joy about her success.

It was from his failure.

As a husband. A father. And a lover.

Fuck.


	23. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik has dinner with the wife and in-laws before competing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this gets ya through the weekend!

"Sometimes it's soft as a misting rain  
That gently touches my soul  
It cools the fire that burns in me  
And I simply lose control  
So just

Rain down (on) on me  
Let your love just fall like raindrops  
Rain on me  
Just  
Rain down (on) on me  
Let your love just shower me  
Just rain on me"

SWV—"Rain"

Erik dressed in light cotton dark slacks and a thin dark dress shirt for an impromptu early birthday dinner for Marina with her maternal grandparents, Calista, and Deuce.

He met them in the Hyatt Regency hotel restaurant where they were all staying. The lobby was clearing out of travelers who stuffed the place to the rafters with execs and big wigs from the surfing world. Those with money and great sponsors stayed at the Hyatt. The not so well-off stayed at motels and Airbnb's. He stroked his face where he had trimmed up his slight beard and when he stepped off the elevator Calista and the rest of the family were waiting near the restaurant host podium.

"Busy," he said looking inside the packed restaurant.

"We're about to be escorted to our table," Deuce said.

His son looked uncomfortable with his grandparents and bored with the idea of spending time with this side of the family. Marina grabbed his hand and swung it, her hair in a high ponytail and spilling over her shoulders in big puffs of dry curls.

"This way please," the male host said.

They were led to a circular table in the back and Erik girded his loins for the slick salty comments and looks Calista's parents gave him.

"Think you'll do well since you've been out for a year?" Todd asked.

Erik stared at him over his menu.

"I've stayed in shape and my training has me prepared. I should do well."

"Daddy's going to win," Marina said playing with her salad fork.

They ordered food and Erik endured the bland surface conversation. Thank God most of the talking involved the children. He sipped on a rum and coke from the bar and his eyes grew wide when he saw Sugar's family enter the restaurant with Colin.

"Sugar!" Marina squealed.

His daughter jumped out of her seat and ran up to Sugar hugging her. Sugar was all smiles until she saw his face and the rest of their party. Colin stepped up.

"Hey!"

"What are you doing here?" Erik asked.

"Sugar and her family invited me to dinner. I ran into them in the lobby just now."

Cedro stepped up to Erik and held out his hand.

"Thank you for your hard work. Sugar was stellar out there," he said.

Erik shook his hand and tried to make eye contact with Sugar, but she looked everywhere else but at him.

"Winner's dinner," Colin said, "Belmira is treating."

"Good seeing you again, Mrs. Moreno," Erik said.

Belinda was all smiles and bubbly.

"Deuce! How are you? We miss you down at the restaurant," Cedro said holding out his fist.

Deuce gave Cedro some dap with a huge grin on his face, the first smile his son had on his face since they arrived for dinner.

Marina held Sugar and Yolanda's hands her face giddy with excitement.

"I'm having a birthday dinner with my Grammy and Grampy…Grammy, Grampy these are my surfing teachers. This is Sugar, Yolanda, and this is Asia."

The women returned greetings with his in-laws and Erik could see the false smile on Calista's face. Her eyes were on Sugar who wore make-up and was dressed in a nice bodycon red dress with her hair twisted up on top of her head in a slick knot. It was a sophisticated look and Erik just knew Calista was churning with negative thoughts involving the two of them. He did his best not to look directly at Sugar. His chest and stomach carried nervous needy energy. He wished he could just take Sugar's hand and go somewhere quiet with his children. A celebratory dinner with just the four of them.

"It's your birthday?" Asia asked.

"Not for real. My birthday is next month but my Grammy and Grampy won't be here…oh! Mommy, can I give them their invitations now?"

Marina's face lit up brighter and Calista sipped her white wine then tapped her nails against the glass.

"You can mail it to them when we get home—"

"But I have them here now—"

"I can go up to the room with her and bring them down," Margie said.

Calista stared hard at her mother before she fixed her face.

"Sure, Muffin."

"Yay! I'll be right back!"

Marina grabbed her Grammy's hand and they left the restaurant.

Sugar's party took their seats three tables down in a large group section. Erik watched Colin sit next to Sugar and Belmira, and he felt his jaw tense when Colin whispered in Sugar's ear and she laughed. When Colin caught Erik staring at him, his friend threw up his hands with a "Not my fault" look on his face.

Erik sat there waiting for an expensive plate of steak and fingerling potatoes while listening to his bombastic father-in-law try to convince Deuce to think about an internship in the business world and going to college back east in the future. Deuce looked like he wanted to crawl under the table and disappear.

"You must be proud that your mentee did well," Calista said.

"It's the highest she's placed this year."

"Think she'll get asked onto the World Tour?"

"In a year or two."

"So you'll be working with her more?"

"I have my own training, and Colin is her main contact."

"They look pretty chummy."

Erik glanced over again at the Moreno table. Colin had his arm over Sugar's chair and he made Cedro laugh hard. Their appetizers arrived at the table just as Marina and Grammy returned.

"I'll be right back," Marina said.

She rushed over to Sugar's table waving her blue and green invitations with purple dolphin stickers. Sugar, Yolanda, and Asia looked thrilled to be hand-delivered the little envelopes.

"Deuce! Come here for a second!"

Cedro's loud voice stirred Deuce from his seat and Erik watched his boy happily escape the cool mood at their own table. Calista's parents just watched their grandchildren interact with other people.

"So loud. Do they seem loud to you?" Margie asked breaking apart a dinner roll.

Cedro put his hand on Deuce's shoulder and gesticulated to the others something amusing that made everyone bust up with laughter. Deuce said something that just made Belinda fall out. Marina leaned against Yolanda's arm and watched her brother.

Lobster bisque arrived at Erik's table.

"I'll go get them," Calista said with annoyance.

"I got it," Erik said pushing his chair back and placing his dinner napkin on the table.

He approached their party gingerly, putting his arm around Deuce's shoulder. Sugar looked up at him and he almost lost his train of thought. Seeing her dressed up made her look so different from her regular beach look. The spaghetti straps of her dress looked delicate against her creamy brown skin. From where he stood, he could see Colin's thigh pressed next to hers. He wanted to pull her away.

"Hey, Deuce…Marina…our first course has arrived. Let me get these two back over to our table," he said.

"Let me know if you want to do it, Deuce," Cedro said.

"Do what?" Erik asked.

"He can have a part-time summer job bussing tables. I could use the extra help. We've been insanely busy this summer because of all the street festivals. If it's cool with you and his Mom."

"You want to do that?" Erik asked.

"I'll think about it," Deuce said.

Erik could tell by his son's tone that he wanted to do it.

"It's up to you, but you'll have to work your schedule out with your Mom when you're up in La Jolla."

"Oh, I thought you lived in Mission Beach," Cedro said looking at Deuce.

"I live there, my…his Mom lives in La Jolla."

"Got it. Let's do this then. When you're in Mission Beach, you come do a few hours in the afternoon and you tell me what days."

Cedro dug into his wallet and pulled out his card. He handed it to Deuce.

"And thank you for backing me up about that woman with the fake dog. None of these doubters believed me, but you saw the whole thing!"

Deuce laughed and Cedro tapped his son's shoulder.

"See you at my party!" Marina said.

He ushered his children back to their family and immediately Deuce's mood soured. His son glanced back over at Sugar's table and they all heard the continuous guffaws and loud cackles. They were having a ball. Erik ate his bisque and listened to the in-laws again and he gave concise and pleasant answers to their questions about his upcoming preliminary round.

"Isn't this nice? All of us together again?" Margie asked.

Their main course arrived, and Erik picked at his meal. He did his best to not look over at the Moreno table, but he could hear snatches of Colin's voice and he felt his blood pressure rise. Marina rattled off all the names of the children she invited to her party and he honed in on that, excited that his daughter was having her very first big birthday party with new friends in a public place at the amusement park.

Staring at Marina's face, he saw that there was some improvement in her lazy eye. He was happy about that. He finished off his rum and coke and had to go urinate.

"Be right back," he said.

He headed out of the restaurant toward the hotel lobby restrooms. Handling his business, he washed his hands afterward and then stared at his face in the mirror. What a reversal of fortune. He had anticipated making love to Sugar in his hotel bed, but instead, he was playing happy family with people who hated his guts. At least his children were happy, and Deuce stuck close to him all afternoon after Sugar's win. Maybe it was God's way of cooling down his ardor and keeping him on the straight and narrow of whatever his life was shaping up to be.

Stepping out of the restroom he caught Sugar going into the Ladies room.

"Sugar," he said heading for her.

She stepped around him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know they were coming."

"It's fine. Let's just forget everything…"

She dashed past him.

He sat on the small velvet ottoman seat between both restrooms to wait for her. When she came out, he stood up.

"Why are you still here?" she asked.

The hurt in her eyes was still there.

"I just wanted to say sorry—"

"Okay, you said that."

She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I know this won't work between us. Not until I'm divorced—"

"It probably won't work after that either."

She cut her eyes away from his. He stepped back from her.

"I see. You're right though. Power dynamic is fucked up anyway."

"I need a coach. Not all this other stuff."

"Looks like you and Colin can work it out with Bruce then. That work for you?"

That snap in his tone made her eyes narrow.

"Yeah."

"Cool."

He moved away from her.

"It's that easy?"

He turned back to her.

"What?"

"Turn everything on and off like that?"

Her eyes were shiny.

"I guess it is easy for you," she grumbled.

She stormed past him and he grabbed her arm and yanked her close to him. She struggled to release herself from his hold.

"Fuck you talking about, Sugar?"

"I'm just another bird in a long line of side-chicks."

"That ain't true, Sugar, I—"

"What are you doing to my daughter?"

Cedro rounded the corner and found them. Sugar tried to keep her eyes from welling up, but Cedro saw it and shoved Erik back. Erik raised his hand in defense and Cedro snatched up Erik's shirt and shoved him against the Men's restroom door.

"Why do you have your hands on her?"

"She's just upset—"

"I was mad about my placing, Papi. Let him go. I was just upset because I should've done better."

Cedro's eyes were blazing and he didn't really believe her words by the sad stress in her voice. He released him and Erik tried to smooth down his shirt.

"Vamos," Cedro said.

Erik let them walk away and he waited a few minutes before making his way back to the restaurant. He didn't make eye contact with anyone when he sat back at his table and finished his meal with Calista's eyes boring into his face.

His cell vibrated.

What happened?

Colin.

Erik texted him back as Calista watched his face.

Nothing. A misunderstanding.

"Yay!" Marina shouted.

A waiter brought over a giant chocolate sundae for her early pretend tenth birthday.

A single pink candle sat atop the whipped cream and Marina blew it out. They sang Happy Birthday to her with everyone in the restaurant. Erik glanced over and he saw Sugar singing with a smile on her face for his daughter. Cedro gave him death stares.

Dinner ended without further incident and he covered the bill.

Walking with everyone to their joined hotel rooms, he said goodnight to his children. Marina hugged him goodbye and Deuce gave him a head nod as he slipped headphones over his ears. They were on the tenth floor and he was on the sixth floor.

He took a long shower in his room and crawled into bed. Tossing and turning he struggled to sleep. He couldn't get Sugar's face out of his mind. The ecstasy of making her cum, the righteous anger when she took second place, and the sadness when she saw him with his wife and children. Grabbing his phone, he scrolled social media looking to see what Sugar was doing and to see if she texted him. She hadn't.

Erik checked the competition he was up against to see if there were any changes, and he went down the rabbit hole of checking a surf site that always reported the happenings of every current surf contest. He found pictures of folks he had seen throughout that day. There were pictures of Sugar and Belmira with their trophies and money. Something made him hop over onto Belmira's social media and he found pictures of them after their dinner in the Hyatt. The most recent was her and Sugar on the beach wearing provocative swimsuits and posing on the Pier. From Belmira's feed, the last photo was posted ten minutes ago.

He jumped off of his bed and threw on a t-shirt and light sweatpants. Slipping on his Keen beach shoes he grabbed his keys and wallet. Finding his jeep in the parking structure he drove out into the night heading toward the beach. Erik found parking near the pier and looked for any sign of Belmira or Sugar. There were a few people wandering around that late. He gave up and went to his jeep and tooled around all the parking spots until he found Sugar's VW van. He knew she had to be nearby because there was no overnight parking. Erik slipped his car in a spot not too far from her ride and he stepped out to look for her.

He didn't have to look far. She was walking back to her van from the boardwalk with a giant beach towel wrapped around herself.

"Kinda late to be out here by yourself. Where's Belmira?"

Her eyes couldn't hide the surprise on her face when she saw him.

"She's catching a red-eye back to Rio. She just caught a Lyft. Why are you here?"

"I saw some pictures of you two online. Recognized the pier. I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come out."

"Stalking me?" she said, opening up the side of her van.

"Nah. Couldn't sleep. I didn't think I'd actually find you."

"Stalking."

"I wanted to see you—"

"Erik…please. Stop playing with me—"

"Are you heading home tonight…damn girl, what do you have on?"

"I made Belmira buy me the most expensive swimsuit in town."

"It looks like lingerie. I can see your nipples."

He swallowed hard and tried not to stare with the overhead light making it so noticeable.

"This is the hottest thing out," she said.

He glanced around the inside of her van. She had bedding down on the floor.

"You sleeping here tonight?"

She ignored him and sat on the edge of the floorboard.

"Just going to ignore me?"

"I'm going back to San Diego."

"It's late."

"I'm a big girl. I'm used to being up late and driving."

"I thought you'd stay to watch me compete."

"I can catch the results online."

He sat next to her.

"Sugar, you're not a jump-off to me."

She held her hand up.

"I don't want to talk about."

"Okay. Let's talk about how you didn't listen to me while you were in your final heat and that's why you came in second instead of winning it all."

Her eyes looked like she wanted to cut him.

"Told you to play it close to the vest but you felt the need to show off and I told you that wasn't what those judges want to see. One thing you gotta do now that you are running with this full-time is to learn all you can with each event. Huntington is a big deal, but they tend to be a little old school here. You are from Southern Cali and they like to see their own do well with international folks. It was yours but…"

Her eyes dropped from his as she contemplated his words.

"I just wanted them to see what I could do."

"Do that but also give 'em the basics done well too."

"I should've won the top spot."

"Yep. But you didn't."

She punched him and he rubbed his arm.

"Coach abuse," he whispered.

He glanced at her face but then his eyes were distracted by her nipple piercings visible from her bikini top. He forced himself to look away. Standing up he shoved his hands in the pockets of his loose sweats.

"You should get going," he said.

"I'm not in a rush. No training tomorrow. Just sleep and eating what I feel like."

She stood up and tossed her beach towel into her van.

"Night," he said leaving her.

"Hey, Erik…"

He turned back.

"I'll listen to what you say next time. You know more than I do…I wanted to impress you too…show you that I'm worth all the money you've spent on me."

"I don't care about the money, Sugar."

Those eyes that had once challenged him in his house when he first met her were once again soulful…open.

"Don't stay out here too long he said."

"I have pepper spray and…," she pulled a small axe from under her bedding, "…this bad boy right here."

She tossed the axe and caught it before stuffing it under the pallet again.

"Be safe," he said.

He left her alone and drove back to his hotel room where he tossed and turned in his bed for the rest of the night.

###

The ritual was the same.

Early morning rising. Meditation. Yoga stretches. A light breakfast. Earbuds in, he either listened to a mix of Joi Gilliam or Anderson.Paak. This was followed by careful showering and phone calls to his children. Depending on what time his heat was, he would sit on the beach and watch the waves. Study their ebb and flow. Every wave was unique and different and could be affected by wind changes and storms miles away. Were the waves crashing left or right? Big or small? Choppy and foamy, or glassy smooth? He'd wax his board and focus on what he needed to do. Slaughter the wave. He needed to be around the spectators so he could slowly close them out from his mind.

He would go into the zone.

The world then was only man, board, and wave.

He was conscious only of sand under his feet, the leash on his ankle and that first cool step into the sea.

Muscle memory set in and the simple truth was that Erik was meant to conquer the water. The World Tour only allowed the elites. The Gods of the Sport. Mount Olympus didn't allow humans and rarely demi-Gods. He steamed through heats and advanced through rounds like it was nothing, like he had never been out of commission for a year. His high-ranking allowed him to pick and choose what events he wanted to participate in. He chose Huntington Beach because it was close to home and he could dip to San Diego if he needed to for any emergencies.

Erik skimmed through the preliminaries and by the time he shredded his way into the finals on the second day of the Men's Championship, word around the beach was that he was back and better than ever before. He showed no mercy on the waves.

Once he secured his finals placement, he gave a quick interview on the beach with Marina by his side. The female interviewer asked Marina how she felt about her Dad being in top form, and his daughter hid her face slightly into Erik's dripping side.

"He's awesome."

"I hear you're making a name for yourself too. Do you think you'll walk in your father's footsteps?"

Marina nodded her head vigorously before hiding her smile.

Erik walked her back over to Calista and Deuce. The in-laws hung out for the first day of his heats but opted to stay in air-conditioned comfort during the finals at the hotel. Calista ate up the attention she was getting being with him and the children, posing for as many photos as she could and letting other women know she was still in the picture in some capacity.

She gave him a congratulatory hug when he advanced to the final showdown and they had lunch with the children where he was inundated with autograph requests. Marina had her autograph book with her and he helped her snag a few from some young male surfers who competed the previous day.

Prior to his showing in the final event, he saw Sugar speaking with a blogger of a popular woman's surfing site. She had on dark sunglasses and a lime-green seahorse beach wrap. He watched her wander off alone on the boardwalk. She didn't see his family walking to get seats in the opposite direction.

A small smile creased his lips. She stayed to see him.

Concentrate.

Erik's eyes took in the water.

Crisp, plunging greenish-blue wave breaks rolled in with great energy as a glistening white swash enticed him. The rumble of the water made his thoughts tranquil and small. Man. Board. Wave.

An announcer over the P.A. system called out two names. Killmonger and P.J.

Erik glanced over to P.J. who stretched near him, his eyes also focused on the water ahead of them. The twenty-eight-year-old South African was a formidable opponent, part of the new South African vanguard that was slowly outshining Brazil with its fresh new talent. Goofy-footed on his board and just as arrogant as Erik, P.J. had done well in the semi-finals throwing up as many tens in his scoring as Erik did. He pegged the J-Bay surfing waterman from the start as a contender to match up with himself in the end.

P.J. turned to Erik and held out his fist for some dap. Erik picked up his board and headed out to make chum out of him.

Paddling in Erik could feel the anticipation of the crowd, some were disappointed that another favorite, Foster Troutman hadn't advanced to face Erik. Like so many white male surfers in his past, Troutman hated Erik and wanted the opportunity to show him up in his hometown. It wasn't meant to be. But there would be other opportunities and Erik welcomed it. He would take great pleasure in taking off for a year and returning to flay every bitch ass dudebro who was relieved to see him go.

From the water, all Erik could see were packed bodies. The sets were coming quick and once their time started, Erik took off for the first great wave available. Dropping left into a nice five-footer, Erik juiced the wave of all its essence. He had nice pop outs of every turn he took. His second wave found him whipping the board vertically with a lot of power as he shifted his weight from the middle of the deck to the tail of his board to slow up a turn.

P.J. was ripping some nice moves, but he got a little cocky when he almost got in Erik's way paddling around a shoulder once Erik had priority. But it didn't matter. Erik cranked up the speed and whipped past P.J.'s head cutting back across the whitewash sending up a soft lacy veil of sea spray to refresh the man's memory of how not to fuck up again. P.J. got the message, especially when Erik dead-eyed him as he swept past.

Erik let a few waves pass that weren't worth taking and P.J. snagged them, falling over twice before Erik was up. He slipped on a bad balance turn and fell, his board flying one way and Erik the other.

A fantastic blue vision of a wave sprang up and Erik hesitated for a second before he went for it. The peak curled over like his daughter's hair and Erik's mind was all about Marina and he decided to give his baby girl a thrill even if the small tunnel didn't hold up. He dropped down into the tube and shot out with his arms over his head to keep a precarious balance and the Huntington Beach crowd were on their feet screaming for him. He knew Marina was probably jumping up and down so he threw up his right pinky for her so she'd know he was thinking of her.

Erik's last wave had him gliding close to the pier doing some hang time in the air with a high- flying aerial. He whipped his board back and forth off the bottom where he punched it out and saluted everyone for their warm reception to his big return. He rode all the way to the finish as P.J. tried to grab one last stab at getting a high score as time ran out.

Erik raised a hand in triumph. He knew he had it. The crowd did too.

A deep exhale left his body as Calista and the kids ran over to greet him with hugs and pats. Deuce took his board for him and carried it behind Erik as he wrapped an arm around a deliriously happy Marina. He stopped walking and took a minute to close his eyes.

He was back.

It felt like he had never left, and he was grateful to win big on his first comeback event. Bodies closed in on him in a tight gauntlet as cameras were shoved in his face. Colin was by his side shoving his chest into Erik's screaming "Yeah nigga! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, playa!"

When they drew closer to the winner's stand, Calista threw her arms around him and kissed him on his lips.

"I'm proud of you!" she said holding his face as Marina squeezed his neck.

Tunnel vision set in and the cacophony of screaming and whistles and thunderous applause made him slow his mind down. His eyes darted across the hundreds of blurred faces and he tried to find Sugar's warm brown eyes. Was she still there somewhere watching?

Once he walked up the steps to the winner's stand, a World Surfing League rep thrust a mic in his face. Colin handed him his surfboard.

"Congratulations! It has been a long time since the surfing world has been able to say that to Erik 'Killmonger' Stevens. How does it feel?"

The white male interviewer looked thrilled to speak to Erik.

"I feel great. The entire time I just focused on this final heat. Visualizing myself here and just spending the entire time working to get here. I paced myself and caught some great waves."

"Doing you!"

"Yeah, like always, doing me at my best."

"The fans are thrilled to have you back—"

"The fans, my friends, my family right there…"

Erik pointed to Deuce and Marina as Calista stood with her arms around their shoulders.

One hundred thousand dollars.

That's what he was taking home for two days of intense heavily scrutinized surfing.

Marina ran up the steps and Erik lifted her up.

"I do alright baby girl?"

"Yeah."

Erik held out his pinky and Marina clasped hers with his. They snapped fingers and Erik finished the rest of the ceremonial pomp. But his eyes kept searching for Sugar.

###

Beat.

Erik was beat.

Jeep packed, boards secured, he was ready for the drive home to San Diego. Calista still had the children and they had already headed back to La Jolla hours earlier. Colin was gone and most people were clearing out from the week-long event.

In his youth, Erik would party into the night with Colin. Hell, he would've partied with Colin that weekend, but his spirit didn't desire that form of release. His cell buzzed.

Congratulations.

He smiled.

Sugar.

Thanks. Where are you?

Heading onto the freeway.

You stayed to watch me?

Yeah.

How was I?

Aight.

He laughed and pushed away his glass of Pellegrino water at the bar. He'd finished two short interviews for two separate online magazines and the Waveline Podcast owner was blowing up his phone asking for an interview with Sugar again.

He debated staying another night at the hotel, but he only had three free days before he had the children again, and he wanted to be in his own house with peace and quiet and the ability to sleep in late. Paying his tab, he said goodbye to the bar staff and headed out.

It was already five in the evening and he knew he would hit the end of the weekend traffic. Firing up his satellite radio to an R & B station, he took off his t-shirt and drove barefoot onto the Interstate 5 South.

Some Jazmine Sullivan came on and Erik snapped his fingers.

"Sang it, baby!"

He rolled down his front windows to let a weak breeze flow through.

"And here we go…" he muttered as he got a nice thirty-minute flow on the freeway before they all started inching along with bumper to bumper traffic.

It took ninety minutes just to get to Mission Viejo. He leaned back and wiggled his butt and stretched his back. He reached down to turn on his air conditioner and a car horn startled him. He looked to his left and saw Sugar in her van with her front windows down.

"You left before I did!" he called out.

"There was an accident earlier and I didn't hop on the toll road."

He couldn't stop the grin from getting wider on his face.

Traffic kept crawling and Sugar squeezed ahead of him by six car lengths. When they grew close to San Onofre, he saw Sugar exit Basilone Rd. that went near the San Onofre nuclear power plant affectionately known by some San Diego natives as "the tits" because of their two round breast shapes with nipple-like tops.

"What the hell?" he muttered.

He jammed his jeep toward the same exit and followed her, curious to know what was out here near the edge of the Camp Pendleton Marine Base.

Driving along the winding side road, Sugar pulled into a camping area that overlooked a bluff. There were several RVs camped out and Sugar drove far from them until she pulled into an isolated spot. He whipped his jeep right next to her. When she hopped out to stretch her legs wearing her new bikini bottom with a half shirt covering her top, he did the same.

"What are you doing?" she said putting her hands on her hips.

"Tryna find out what you're doing."

"Don't tell nobody about my spot," she said. She walked away from her van and he followed along like a puppy.

"Wow," he whispered.

The start of a sunset down into the Pacific was spectacular until large, grayish clouds rolled through blotting out most of the brilliant lighting. Sugar opened the side of her van and grabbed a bottled water.

"Taking a break?"

"Camping."

"You like being alone a lot."

"Me and Beauty been doing this since I was eighteen," she said tapping her van.

She grabbed another bottled water from a small cooler and tossed him one. She sat on her floorboard again and she gestured for him to have a seat.

"Look at you, big winner," she said.

"You're a winner too."

"I had some time to think about it and I'm cool with being second."

She sipped her water.

"Lying ass," he said, and she laughed.

"The money helps," she whined stomping her feet.

He was happy to see her in a better mood.

"Marina was so stoked to see you win."

"You watched me?"

"Yeah. Had to. The comeback kid makes good. I mean, one hundred grand? Whew."

They sat and watched the sun lower as the clouds drifted away.

"Smells like a summer rain coming," she said sniffing the air.

She pulled off her shirt and that damn bikini top hypnotized him. She kicked off her Birkenstocks and tossed them on top of her shirt. Her eyes found his again and his mouth went dry and his heart double thumped. The falling sun struck her eyes making them look like brown gold on fire and her skin made him slide a little closer until his shoulder touched hers.

Her lips parted and her eyes dropped away from his.

"I watched you and studied everything you did. You were so…in control. I get what you mean about the basics with some flair. It looked like you started off a little conservative and then you just…walked on the water."

"Oh, so I'm Jesus now?"

"No!"

They stayed silent again as she turned on small LED lights inside her van.

"Is your Dad still pissed at me? I didn't mean to grab you hard…"

She glanced over at the ocean.

"Just don't do again because he will show up with a hammer and bust your head in."

"Understood—"

"And my mom will grind up your bones and mail them to your parents."

"Damn. They hardcore."

"Very."

"Don't blame them. They have a champion on their hand."

"Almost champion. I'll get to your level soon enough."

"Will you come to Marina's party?"

"I want to. But Calista—"

"But Calista..."

"She seemed happy to kiss you when you won."

He stared at Sugar's face again.

"I didn't have any control over that."

"I know."

He stood up.

"I'ma head out."

"Okay."

"Have that pepper spray and axe ready."

She laughed.

"This is a family-friendly spot. I'm good."

"Alright."

"Killmonger…you really were something out there."

Her hands slid up his chest and rested on his pecs and her lips gave him a chaste kiss on his cheek. He closed his eyes and could feel his heart making his whole body beat frantically. He was nervous and it shocked him. Sugar's nose brushed against the tip of his nose and she kept her hands on his chest for a few more seconds before wrapping them around his neck.

"Sugar, if you don't let me go right now, I don't think I can leave."

She pressed into him and when her breasts smashed into his chest and a needy sigh fell from her sweet lips, Erik knew he was done.

"Don't leave. I can't stay away from you either," she whispered in his ear.

His hands wrapped around her waist and she accepted his embrace, her hands sliding further up the back of his head, where she softly rubbed the waves in his hair. He pulled her into her van and shut the door behind them.

He had to have her. Right then and there.

And he did.


	24. Brown Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy as always!

"Every time you come around, something magnetic pulls me and I can't get out  
Disoriented, I can't tell my up from down  
All I know is that I want to lay you down

Every time I let you in, abracadabra magic happens as we swim  
Higher and higher finally we reach heaven  
Come back to earth and then we do it all again  
Yeah"

India.Arie—"Brown Skin"

Sabine sat on the sand far from the judging area but close enough to see Erik.

The surfing took place on the south side of the pier and she sat on her small beach chair hiding her eyes behind dark shades and keeping her hair in a short ponytail. Her usual carefree curls brought a lot of attention, especially after she won second place, so she wanted to attract very little attention to herself on this day. Belmira sat next to her on a blanket and Sabine was glad that she wasn't alone. There was security in having her friend with her, especially when she saw Calista with Erik's children wandering by with Colin and another man that Sabine knew was part of Erik's travel team.

The beach was so packed that Calista didn't notice Sabine. Sabine was happy when they moved far enough away where she could relax and enjoy the spectacle Erik was about to bring. Everyone around her waited with bated breath to see Killmonger return to his element. She had to admit to herself that she couldn't wait to see him, even though she felt a wound in her heart. His touches by the jeep had her floating days ago, but that feeling vanished the moment she saw Calista and their children.

It was a harsh reminder that he was tethered to someone else. The thrill of being in another city and longing to be alone with him carried her through her final heat. Coming in second stung like hell and the taste of an almost full victory was acrid in her mouth. Sabine saw Erik walking toward her at that moment and that bitter taste lifted from her when she saw the sly smile on his face. She wanted a hug from him. She wanted him to kiss the loss away. She wanted to wrap her arms and legs around him…until his children surrounded him and his wife blocked her view of him.

Sabine had the sensation of a rogue wave knocking the air out of her lungs. He was not hers. He belonged to some other world. She was always looking at him from the outside and she wanted to be inside so badly.

It was made even more acute when she walked into the Hyatt restaurant and saw him with his family again. Sitting and eating and watching him from across two tables was excruciating hell. She did her best not to stare at him but she couldn't help but rest her eyes on him from time to time. She caught slick glances toward her from him, and she looked away not wanting Calista to take notice. But that woman noticed everything.

When Marina brought over her birthday invitations, Sabine was genuinely thrilled to talk to the girl. She was so excited about her upcoming party. They opened their invitations in front of her and her eyes were so proud when Sabine commented on her neat penmanship. Papi called Deuce over and she was impressed with how docile he seemed with her father. There was no attitude or smart comments directed at her. Sabine's mother took a shine to the boy and she was tickled by the things that did come out of his mouth. Belinda just thought Deuce was the funniest person alive with his deadpan humor and when he contradicted Cedro's outrageous dog in the restaurant story, it just made the entire retelling funnier and Sabine's mother fell out laughing so hard. The entire table erupted with belly laughs and Belinda kept saying, "That is so you when you were that age."

Sabine didn't see it, but she did see Erik walking over to their group.

Colin's hand brushed against her shoulder with his arm slung over her chair and Erik's eyes seemed to fixate on that before he pulled his children away. Deuce and Marina grumbled about having to go back, but go back they did. She drank a lot of white wine afterward and needed to go pee before they ordered dessert. Erik wasn't at his seat and she wondered if he had left because it looked like his family was finished eating. Running into him was unexpected and it threw off her cool. She wasn't ready to talk to him. Finding him still waiting for her made her nervous. Being around him and Calista at the same time had her cautious.

Physically her body had the annoying push and pull of wanting to be near him, but hating all the stuff that came along with being around him. She was also angry that she wouldn't have him that night. Cumming on his fingers, stroking that fat dick that made her pussy throb just even thinking about it had her skin crawling with so much desire. Staring at his twisted lips as he held her arm tight when she tried to leave made her take stock of what she was dealing with: a married man who was going through a bitter divorce involving children, division of property and assets, and other women. Sabine did not want to be another woman in his endless parade, and his careless words about leaving her to Colin and Bruce made her want to slap the shit out of him.

Papi's loud yell had embarrassed Sabine. To be caught with Erik like that was such a bad look and it hammered in the fact that the man was a problem she didn't need in her life.

But here she was sitting on a soft sandy beach with hundreds upon hundreds of people crammed there too.

Sabine touched the bottom of her neck when Erik walked out onto the beach with his board. He wore a yellow-colored vest over his black and blue rash guard, and he wore form-fitting swim trunks that made his muscular thighs look thick and ready to handle the waves among other things. He paddled out with P.J. and the crowd grew restless waiting for the foghorn to blow announcing the start of the final heat.

A nervous ball of pressure rested in her chest. A year ago she had wanted to be there watching him compete but he had gone on hiatus, and that one time she could see him live was snatched away. It was strange how the world worked. Not only did she have her chance to ogle him in the water at a huge competition as a fan, but she also knew him as a coach and a little more. Just a little more.

Erik and P.J. ripped out there and she watched everything like a student prepping for a pop quiz. Killmonger was very shrewd when it came to picking his waves. When he bailed on a few take-offs, she tried to see what he saw with his last-minute ditchings. His form was impeccable, and even when he was knocked off-balance or slipped on his board and wiped out, he was spectacular.

Time ran out and when he emerged from the water, Sabine jumped up like she was going to run to him, but she stopped herself, very much aware that it wasn't her place to do that in public. Deuce and Marina tackled him and Calista sauntered up to him with outstretched arms and a kiss. Colin bumped chests with Erik, and the man stopped walking. She saw Erik close his eyes and take a breath before he looked around the crowd. She ducked down and sat back on her beach chair next to Belmira.

"He's going to destroy so many events," Belmira said.

"I know."

"Promise me we will become better with time like him."

Sabine held out her hand for Belmira to shake.

She waited a long time to congratulate him. The hurt of his family surrounding him wore off and she replayed his winner's speech on her phone. Sabine couldn't help but smile as he held his daughter. No matter how upset she may have felt, she couldn't be mad at him for loving his children so openly. He had walked down the stand and put Deuce in a headlock and his son hugged his waist as Erik kissed him on his forehead. He was a good man in a bad situation of his own making, and she couldn't expect him to drop everything for her. Something in his eyes when he looked at her told her that he was sincere. Sabine had to concede that her wants and needs couldn't change his obligations outside of her desire for him.

Her feelings for him were still confusing and jumbled, and she didn't know if she was in love with the fantasy of him and the sexual pleasure he gave her, or if she was in love with the real person she saw on that glorious day they went on a pretend date. She had a hard time reconciling what he really was to her. Hero? Potential lover? Fantasy made real? Mentor? Coach? Friend?

Every time she looked at him, she wanted to crawl onto his lap and hold him as she did in his bed. At that moment, she felt as if she had gotten to the real him. The one that mattered most to her. He did matter to her more every day. She knew she cared about him and his children. Cared about him more when he let down his guard and became real with her. Sabine was frightened that it would all go up in flames sooner or later. Her own father watched her with different eyes when they finished their celebratory dinner. She dreaded going home and facing her parents. She was quite sure Papi told her mother what he saw.

Sabine was in love. And falling deeper.

Catching Erik on the freeway made her heart beat faster and she had to get his attention once she recognized his jeep behind her. She slowed her van down so that he could catch up to her, and when she honked her horn and saw the huge smile on his face when he saw her, she almost squealed out loud. Before she was ready, her exit came up and she did some ballsy driving to cut in front of people to make it to her campsite so she could catch the sunset.

Her nerves were twitching as she talked to him in front of her van. His eyes were so comforting and attentive. When he stood up to leave her, she couldn't let that happen. This was the place. A secret faraway place where they could shut out the world and just be together. Her fingers had a life of their own as they trailed up his chest and she pushed up on him. She couldn't use the excuse that she was drunk or high acting the way she did with Erik. She wanted him. That was all there was to it. This beautiful insanely athletic man before her was a treasure that she couldn't pass up. The guilt she hid in her heart for Calista dissipated.

"Sugar, if you don't let me go right now, I don't think I can leave."

"Don't leave. I can't stay away from you either."

The words fell from her lips and that man lifted her up with her wrapping her leg around his waist. He laid her out upon her bedding and closed the van door. The LED yellow lights made his skin look so pretty. She stroked his arms as he looked down at her. His eyes raked down her body and his right index finger traced across her neck and shoulder.

"You need to wear this bikini for me in private, not out in the open," he whispered.

His finger trekked down the middle of her chest and ghosted over her bikini bottom, pressing gently into her mound.

"You drive me crazy, you know that, right?"

She smiled and turned her head to the side, but he forced it back with his hand.

"I'm serious, Sugar. I think about you all the time. I can't help it."

"I think about you too…all the time."

She ran her left hand up his arm as he held onto her chin.

"You are a complication I didn't expect to have in my life."

The smile left her face. He caught it and traced his thumb across her lips.

"Sugar…I don't want to fuck you…"

His thumb stroked her neck before he lowered his body closer to her and kissed her cheek and then gave a soft peck on her lips.

"I want to love you, okay baby? Can you let me do that?"

She nodded and let out a breathy, "Yes."

His mouth devoured hers then and she became lost to his kisses. So wet and sloppy and so much lip and tongue. Erik had her whimpering and her hips squirming before he even let her come up for air. He released her lips and raised up his head. Eyes closed she heard him drop a heated "Fuck," before he opened his eyes again. Her nerves pricked up more. Did he change his mind?

His tongue wrapped around her left breast and he sucked right through the thin material of her bikini top. He blew on her nipple and suckled the other one before he pulled her top off of her shoulders. She lifted up and unfastened it from the back. His eyes became heavy-lidded as he played with her breasts, plucking at her piercings. His fingers ran down her sides giving her delicious tickles as he pulled off her bikini bottom. Sabine's thighs fell open for him then and he fingered her clit until she grew wet and her juices seeped down her open folds. He spread her natural lubricant around her clit before pinching it.

Erik lifted up and pulled off his shorts. His dick plumped up and she admired the neatly trimmed pubic hairs as he slowly fisted himself. Erik's balls looked heavy and hung like smooth, fat juicy plums. He kicked off his beach shoes and continued fisting himself until the first tear-shaped drops of pre-cum leaked from his slit. His eyes never left her face.

Releasing his dick, it fell from his hand erect and so thick between his legs. He bent down to kiss her again before resting down by her side and pulling her on top of him. He cradled the back of her head as they kissed again. He was taking his time with her and she was grateful. She needed it to prepare herself mentally for that weight poking against her stomach. Sabine had sucked and licked his dick, let him nut in her mouth and everything, but she was feeling anxious about having it inside of her. He was going to stretch her out and even though she welcomed it, it looked like a lot to handle. Would he be disappointed if she couldn't take it in all the way? What if it hurt? She'd heard stories from Yolanda and Asia about big dicks feeling uncomfortable sometimes. Could her body get wet enough for him without lube?

"Hey…you okay?" he asked.

She nodded and he held her face.

"Words, baby."

She looked down at his dick.

"What?"

"I'm worried it'll hurt."

His eyes searched hers and there was concern in them.

"Is this your first time?"

Erik stroked her back and pulled her closer to him.

"No…you're just…it's just…"

She glanced at his girth again.

"I've never been with someone that's…it's big."

She closed her eyes feeling so self-conscious and he chuckled. He kissed her forehead and then bit his bottom lip staring up at her.

"I promise you. I'll get you ready for it. I'll use my lips…my tongue…my fingers…"

He kissed under her neck and licked a wet line back to a sensitive spot on her shoulder.

"You don't have to worry 'bout a thing, girl. I'll take care of you. Tell me how much you can handle, okay?"

He kissed the center of her chest and she lifted herself higher so he could push her breasts together and licked them with that wide tongue of his. Erik's lips were insane when they circled around her nipples and parts of her breasts. The precise suction he created had her mouth lax and she called out his name in uneven pants. He scooted his body down and pushed up on her hips.

"Sit on my face," he said.

She scampered up and squatted over his mouth lowering her pussy to his lips. His wet tongue swiped over her engorged vulva and she gasped, clutching onto the shoulders of the two front seats to keep from falling over. Erik's tongue tip spelled unknown words along her folds and just under her jeweled bud.

"…all gushy, Sugar. Tryna drown me down here?"

She smashed her pussy down on him and he groaned.

"Soak my face, girl…"

She wound her hips in a circle on top of his big lips and she squeaked in surprise when she dropped down on his mouth and his tongue thrust up into her dripping slit. Fucking his tongue, her pleasure grew as he groaned under her, making the vibrations from his mouth ripple out all over her sensitive folds. He rolled his tongue across her clit piercing and sucked on it. Sabine shouted his name.

"Erik, you're gonna make me cum!"

He stopped then, making her gasp so loud.

"Not yet," he said flipping her over onto her back.

He kissed her from head to toe, giving love bites across her shoulders, waist, and even down to her ankles.

"Turn over," he whispered.

He stroked his hands up and down her back massaging the muscles into putty before he kissed her from shoulder to shoulder and down her spine making goosebumps break out on her skin. He sparked tingles and itches that needed scratching, and his fingers kneaded messages of love into her flesh before he bit her ass cheeks and slapped her hard. She yelped and looked back at him.

"Think I forgot you were hardheaded? Huh? Not listening to me? When I tell you to do shit you supposed to do it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your last heat."

He slapped her ass evenly. She bucked her hips and he grabbed her waist and pulled her onto her hands and knees.

"Take it…"

He spanked her hard. Alternating slaps to each ass cheek, the echo in the van was loud. She dropped onto her elbows and pressed her face into the bedding as the erotic pleasure manifested as sharp hot pain.

"Ohhhh…" she whined.

"Hold that ass still!"

He sandwiched his hot heavy dick between the crack in her ass and continued to spank the fuck out of her.

"This how you learn…I said keep that ass still!"

He reached down and grabbed the back of her neck. His fingers slid to the slick knot in her hair and he pulled on it, forcing her neck back and her head up. He held onto her hair as his other hand finished what he started, tearing up her cheeks until they felt like they were ablaze.

"You 'gon be a good girl for me?"

"Yeah!"

"Don't lie."

"I'll be a good girl…ooh…yeah…yeah…I'll be good…I'll be good...I'll be good!"

When he released her hair and fingered her pussy from behind, she heard him moan deep in the back of his throat.

"Sugar, you 'gon handle this dick. Your pussy is so sloppy for it. Shit…get all deep in this…"

He lifted her up and made her face him on her knees, their chests pressed together as he tongued down her throat and squeezed her scorched backside. He slapped her a few more times on the rump and she gasped in his mouth.

"Say you're sorry for being disrespectful."

Her eyes felt watery as she tried looking at him directly. His spanking had her feeling loopy and her pussy pulsed several times. She could feel her juices sliding down her thighs making them slippery when they rubbed together. Sabine gasped again when he fingered her from behind, dipping a finger or two inside her snug sticky tunnel.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again…oh…oh…"

"Tight pussy…I'ma stretch you out so good girl," he whispered in her ear.

Her eyes must've shown fear again because he kissed her eyelids softly.

"I got you. I'll make you feel so good…"

His lips smothered hers again and they stayed that way for a long time, kissing, twisting their necks side to side for more deep moist kisses as his fingers moved in and out of her from behind. She gave a lusty shout when he flicked her piercing, tugging down on her swollen clit.

"You betta not cum!"

His gruff voice made her shudder and her knees wobbled. He lowered his head to suck on her tits and she rubbed his scalp. Her left hand reached out for his dick and pre-cum spilled all over her eager fingers.

"You ready for this Daddy dick?"

"Yeah."

"Suck me off first, baby."

Erik moved onto his backside and opened his legs for her. She lowered her body until she engulfed his dick in her mouth. That heavy vein on the top of his dick pulsed in her mouth and he groaned his pleasure as her head bobbed in his lap.

"Who taught you to suck like this, Sugar?" he gasped grabbing onto her topknot again.

He pulled her head back so he could see her face and Sabine slid her tongue along the wide head of his dick and then swiped it along the other thick vein under his length, hallowing her cheeks as her tongue and mouth worked in unison to pleasure just the mushroom cap. Her lips gripped the soft spongy top and his eyes stayed watching her suck like a champion. His mouth fell open and he closed his eyes a few times and swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing as she worked him over with slow sensual ministrations. She let a hand drift to his nutsack and gently scratched the underside of his balls as she sucked along the sensitive ridge under the head. She spit all over it and dragged her hot tongue under his erection until she suckled each ball sack while giving gentle, full-lipped kisses down there too. Erik threw his head back.

"Ooooh…suck that shit girl…goddamn…tryna make me bust already?"

She sucked and squeezed his balls rhythmically. He reached for his crumpled shorts and pulled out his wallet from a pocket. He fumbled with it pulling out a condom. Her clit thumped and she let go of his dick with a loud smacking of her plump lips. She pulled away from him and sprawled out on her back. Letting her legs fall open, she stroked her clit as she watched him sheath himself. He leaned over her, widening his knees as his eyes took in her body.

"Sugar…I…."

Erik shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. She raised her left arm out to him and he clasped her hand entwining their fingers together. His eyes shined in the LED lights. Lowering his body, he lined up his dick with her opening. He brought his lips to her ear.

"Tell me you're mine," he whispered.

His voice sent a shiver through her body making it jump.

"I'm yours."

He kissed her, his tongue leaving no part of her mouth unexplored before he gripped his dick and dragged it up and down her soaked folds. He smacked his dick on her clit.

"Be careful," she warned, "you don't want to tear the condom. The top part can snag sometimes."

He rubbed his erection back on the inner folds and they both could see the glistening strands of her fluids making the condom glossy.

"I can't wait anymore," he said.

His lips found the shell of her sensitive ear again.

"Tell me I'm your man, Sugar."

Her arms draped around his neck and tried to bring him closer, but his warm breath was unabated in her ear. The smell of his almond hemp hair oil, the crisp tropical scent of his cologne, and the light trace of her flowery perfume teased her nose. Their bodies were already drenched in sweat and she could feel the slow warm trickle of it down the cleft of her ass.

"Mmmmm….you're my man—"

"Say it again…"

"You're my man—"

"Sugar…take me…"

The fullness overwhelmed her.

His penetration was slow and steady and when he was rooted deep down in her, her head fell back and she stared at the roof of her van to catch her bearings. He pulled out slowly and shifted his weight and position before pushing into her again. She clutched his back but lost traction because of all the sweat and finally dug her nails into his flesh to anchor herself to something solid before she lost her breath again. His short shallow thrusts had her pussy sounding lewd and indecent, and she was slightly embarrassed at how loud it was to her ear.

Erik rested his hands around her shoulders as he lifted up to watch her face as he fucked her pussy with loving long strokes that had her mouth parted and making mewling noses that she had no control over. His lips got tight and his eyes grew lusty as she kept saying "Yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…" over and over with each nasty stroke.

The man was moving his ass and hips like some passionate mambo king giving her the best dick she'd ever had. All thoughts of worrying about pleasing him went out the window. The look in his eyes let her know he was enjoying her body.

"Baby, you okay?" he asked slowing down when her head fell back onto the blanket and her chin lifted up.

The girth inside her walls made her toes flex, and when he moved up, it put pressure on her clit, and when he shifted down, it tugged on her piercing and she felt the build-up of a strong orgasm.

"I'm good…I'm good…oomph…ohmigod…ohmigod…yeah…yeah…ooh…yeah…Erik…my pussy…"

Erik pushed her legs down wide and watched his penetration.

"Baby…your pussy is so tight around my dick. Look at this shit gripping me…damn girl, it won't let me go, just sliding and holding my shit when I go in and out…fuck…look how you doin' me!"

Sugar pushed her arms back against the front seats to hold herself in place. Erik put his back into it now that he was used to how she felt surrounding his dick. She was snug on that big wood and circled her hips to match him thrust for thrust.

"…Sugar…Jesus Christ girl! You fucking that dick! You fucking that dick…oh my God…"

He dropped down putting his full weight on top of her as he stuck his tongue in her ear. She wrapped her legs around his waist and that small shift made him go deeper and she shouted his name like she was calling on God to save her.

"Damn girl," he panted in her ear, "you just gon' fuck me like this? Like this?!"

His mouth found hers once more. As his tongue went deep into her throat, his dick went just as deep in her pussy and she damn near lost her mind from the dual sensations…in, out, in, out…

Woozy, her mind moved fast trying to hold the world together when he was pulling it apart with his loving.

"This fat pussy got me…"

"I'ma cum, Erik…"

"Nah, girl."

Erik pulled out of her and she clawed at his back to pull him back down. He pushed her over onto her stomach and straddled Sabine doggy style while she stayed flat on the blankets. Inserting his dick again, he pounded her, his strong arms surrounding her shoulders as he gave passionate thrusts that made him grunt. They interlaced their fingers together as he hunched down on her back. She could feel his facial hairs against her ear as he whispered filth to her, making her walls clench as he went deep.

"God Erik! Dig in there…dig up in there!"

He laughed and she laughed with him, but she was serious about needing that ponding. His balls smacked hard against her clit and he lost the words to speak, his grunts and groans heavy against her earlobe. She lifted her legs up allowing him to go even deeper. He widened his thighs shouting her name and she lost it. Her head dropped forward and she cried out the intensity of her orgasm. It felt like her entire midsection was clenching-her stomach, her pussy, her asshole-everything throbbed with tight pulls all focused on yanking his fat dick into submission even as she fell apart on it.

"AHHhhhh! I feel you! I feel you!" he yelled.

Erik grabbed the front of her neck and held her head back as he shouted in her ear. His dick swelled inside of her.

"Cum in my pussy!"

"Fuck…baby…I'm cumming….I'm cumming….I'm cumming…oh fuck, I'm still cumming!"

Sabine felt his body go rigid as his dick pulsed and kept pumping semen. Erik collapsed on her back and she felt like a giant wet wave was trying to drown her.

"Damn Sugar…damn…"

He rolled off of her and she turned to her side to get air into her lungs again. Even with his dick removed from her pussy, she still felt like she was wide open with his erection. Watching him, she saw Erik throw his left arm over his face as his right hand clutched at the soaked blanket. Glancing down, she saw the condom was full of so much cum in the receptacle tip. He was still semi-hard.

Sabine allowed herself to fall back completely, her eyes on the ceiling of the van once more. She listened to Erik as he removed the condom.

"There's a small trash can…yeah…there," she whispered as he found it between the front seats.

He threw an arm around her waist and they both kept still until they could no longer hear themselves audibly breathing. Only the sound of the crashing surf below serenaded their rest. She touched her heart and then slid her hand to Erik's arm on her stomach. The sweat on the top blanket cooled and felt wonderful with the heat surrounding them. Turning on her side, she found Erik watching her. He raised his hand from her stomach and stroked her cheek. Leaning in to kiss her lips, he caressed her face afterward and stared into her eyes.

"You were everything, Sugar."

The pinpricks came then.

"Hey," he whispered, pulling her closer.

Sabine wiped her eyes of tears.

"Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?"

The worry on his face made her tummy flutter.

"I'm just happy," she sighed burying her face in his chest.

"Ah girl, you had me scared for a minute, like I messed up or something."

He cradled her, stroked her back, and whispered endearments to her until she fell asleep in his arms to the lullaby sounds of the sea.

###

Sabine woke up in the van alone.

When she stepped outside, Erik's jeep was gone.

Panic set in. She checked her cell phone. No messages from him but plenty from her parents and one from Belmira telling her she arrived home safe.

Sabine sat on her van floorboard and gazed out over the bluff wearing her favorite halter top and boy shorts. The sun was gorgeous, the hint of rain from the night before gone. Rubbing her left knee, she couldn't believe he would just leave her like that. Fucked her brains out and bounced while she slept.

She pulled out her fold-out chair and sat it in front of her van. There was a picnic table/bench and a firepit near her campsite, but she wanted to sit low on the ground for reading later. Grabbing her toiletry bag inside her van, she changed into a string bikini and carried a beach towel with her to the public shower and chemical Porta Potty toilets passing by a few RVs and families slowly waking up and planning their camp day. There were trails to explore, the beach, and great views for picture-taking.

Sabine cleaned herself quickly, brushed her teeth, and soaked her mouth with mouthwash. Heading back to her van, she saw Erik's jeep pull back next to her home on wheels. The emotional turmoil she felt earlier spun her into a new direction as she saw him step out of his car carrying a tray of Starbucks coffee and a grocery bag.

"Morning," he said, leaning over to kiss her cheek, "What's wrong?"

"I thought you left me."

"Nah. You were sound asleep so I made a food run. Got us some Breakfast Jacks and that coffee you like. I also bought some coals to barbecue. Got a pit out here, might as well use it."

She took the bag from him. Her eyes must've given away her fear and he threw an arm around her.

"I thought I'd get back before you woke up. I had to drive kinda far back up the coast to find shit. Aye, baby, I would never leave you like that. I'd send you a Birkin bag or a Fendi tote at least-"

She punched him and he kissed her lips.

"Those showers are cold as fuck," he said.

She dug into the grocery bag and pulled out hotdogs and Italian sausages. Erik pulled out a small bag of ice and dumped it in the bigger cooler he had in the trunk of his jeep. He had cold coke cans, catsup, relish, buns, pre-cooked BBQ pork ribs, macaroni salad, chips, and assorted dried fruits and nuts. There were two bottles of wine and plastic red cups along with imported German beer.

"This is a lot of stuff, Erik."

"The campsite is cheap. I figure we can spend a couple of days here together…I mean if you're open to that. Surf looks good, we can train a little, maybe do some practice heats together—"

Sabine threw her arms around him and kissed him. It was like she had been given a trip to Disneyworld or Magic Mountain. Erik kissed her back passionately and all she wanted to do was stay there forever with him. When she released his lips, Erik's face looked like he felt the same way too.

They ate the ham and egg Jack in the Box breakfast sandwiches sitting on her camp chairs while drinking individual bottles of orange juice. Locking up their cars they waxed their surfboards on the picnic table before she led him down the path that led to the beach where they surfed all morning until they were hungry again. They cooked hotdogs with the Italian sausages and listened to music from her phone before heading into her van to nap naked together before fucking again when they woke up in the late afternoon.

Sabine rode him hard in reverse cowgirl. He smacked her ass and cursed her out.

"Bounce on that dick…just like that…bounce for me, Sugar. Ah, fuck…you so good girl! So nasty on that shit."

She laid flat across his legs and turned her waist slightly to the side so she could look back at him while she rode him. She had his eyes rolling back with his mouth wide open. She burst out laughing and dropped her face into his leg.

"Why you laughing?" he said smacking her butt.

"Your face!"

"That's your fault, shit…c'mon now, finish what you started!"

She got back to it, lifting onto her feet as she dropped up and down on him, still watching him over her shoulder.

"You like that?" she said with a seductive growl.

"I love it…fuck…baby…do that shit…fuck your man good."

She laughed again and he reached up for her untied curls, pulling her head back. He thrust up hard and her laughter died in her throat.

"Turn around," he demanded.

She lifted up and shifted her position to face him. He kissed her, then gripped her ass cheeks, and pummeled her pussy. Sabine held onto his shoulders with her face pressed against his face.

"…tight pussy…you keep it tight for me while I'm gone, okay?"

Her eyes squeezed shut. They both had to travel out of the country for competitions in two different places across the globe and knowing he wanted her again when they returned made her feel special. But it also made her worry. Her talks with Colin about his days traveling the world with Erik had her nervous. She sat back on his dick and rolled her hips in a counterclockwise motion. His full lips fell open as he watched her pussy grip him. She squeezed on her inner muscles as hard as she could and he groaned. He reached for a breast to play with her nipple. She rocked on him with exquisite slow movement.

"Baby…" he panted.

"You won't fuck other women when you leave, will you?"

His eyes glared at her.

"Sugar—"

"Promise me you won't fuck anyone else. Just me."

"I don't want anybody else—"

"You can have anyone you want. Promise me."

Her fingers dropped down to her folds and she pulled back her pussy lips as she wiggled on his heavy balls. His arms hooked under hers as he gripped her shoulders from behind to anchor her to their sexual union. Erik's thrusts were cold and calculated to teach her who was boss.

"You heard what I said, Sugar—"

"Erik, please…oooohh!"

He knocked the breath from her mouth with hard fast triple thrusts before he paused and glared at her.

"What did I fucking say?"

Her lips grew tight with tension.

"Answer me!" he barked.

He pushed her onto her back and threw her legs over his shoulders.

"I need you to tell me!" she shouted while pushing her hands on his pecs, "Erik—"

He shoved fingers down her throat as he dug her pussy out.

"I'm fucking this pussy! Just this pussy!"

"Ooohhhh!"

Her back was slammed down onto their lovenest as his dick hit the side of her walls in a punishing stroke-fest. The van was rocking and she worried the emergency brake would slip and they would go tumbling over the bluff.

"Look at me!" he shouted.

He was mad. Genuinely upset by her question.

She played with her clit for him, giving him a taste of what he would be missing in a few days. The wet sounds from her pussy made him curl his lip and tilt his head to the side.

"Fuck, I love how your pussy won't let go of me when I stretch you out. Pussy full of my dick. Got me balls deep…wetting me up. Goddamn, I'm in you deep…"

His eyes found hers again after wrenching them away from her pussy swallowing his length.

"You was all worried about taking all this dick. Look at you now, girl….Sugar? Dammit, stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

He stopped moving and shifted his weight.

"Like you don't believe me…don't trust me."

"How can I-?"

"Really? Now? You want to have this convo now while I'm deep in your guts. The fuck?"

"I'm scared, Erik. I don't want to be in Indonesia and see some more pictures of you wearing some bird out—"

He cracked up and she twisted her lips in frustration.

"It's not funny, I'm serious—"

"I'm serious too. Don't be scared, Sugar. Trust me—"

"I can't."

"What we got is good. I know it ain't ideal because of my sitch, but damn, I'm telling you, this is different. You're different, I'm different now—"

"I'm scared to trust you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you!"

Sabine covered her face and pushed herself off of his body curling into the fetal position. She shoved her face into the blanket and bawled her eyes out.

"Sugar…"

Erik's hand touched her hip. He tried to pull her back but she fought him and curled up tighter. He was stronger than Sabine and lifted her easily, pulling her onto his lap as he leaned against the far back seat of her van.

"It's okay…it's okay, Sugar," he cooed.

He rocked her in his arms. Sabine wiped away her tears and the heavy shudders in her chest subsided. She rested her head in the crook of his neck. Erik reached for her hand and held it, resting it against his heart.

"I don't know what this is Erik, but I don't want to end up like Calista. I love you and I can't help it—"

"I love you too, Sugar."

She sat back and stared at his face.

"You do?"

"I do. I think I fought it for a long time because I had doubts about myself. Old dog, new tricks…but…I've never been in love before. Never gave myself a chance to fall in love the right way when I was younger. Now out of the blue, I'm trying to extricate myself from a bad marriage and of course, God, or whatever is out there, brings you to me. Damn, my baby girl brought you to my house. Timing is shit, but I know what I feel. And I know I would never hurt you like I did Calista and so many others."

"Go back to that part where you say you love me," she said.

Erik laughed and nuzzled his face in her neck. He stroked her cheek and looked her in the eye.

"I love you, Sugar. I don't deserve you, but I'm taking this chance to be with you."

She cocked her ear toward his mouth.

"One more time."

"I love you," he said again.

She pressed her lips against his mouth and he closed his eyes.

"I love you, Erik. So much."

"I'm glad because I don't want to be in this by myself. You and my children are the only things right in my life right now. I'm transitioning into some new things in the future and I need you, Sugar."

Sabine hugged him and he nibbled on her earlobe.

"I love you…I love you…I love you…." he whispered peppering her neck with kisses after each declaration.

"Show me," she said climbing off of his lap and stretching back down onto the bedding with her legs open.

Erik adjusted the condom and it didn't take long for his erection to return to full hardness. In one fluid motion, he penetrated her and they locked eyes while he pumped into her body with languid unrushed strokes. There was no shouting or curse words or dirty talk. No spanking or biting or clawing of skin. She sighed and her voice hitched several times when he hit a spot that curled her toes and the waves in her hair. She gave it back to him just as good from the many soft grunts of satisfaction falling from his lips as he pressed his forehead against hers. They stayed locked that way for a long time until tears of pleasure rolled down from her eyes and his when he spilled into the condom as her walls clenched around him with tight pulses from her release.

"Fuck, baby!" he gasped as the last of his cum filled the thin barrier of protection he wore.

Her own orgasm deepened and extended and she felt like she was rolling on acid by how far the sensations took her inside her own body. Love made the feeling richer. She was tripping on his love and their sex was elevated to a plateau that she had never been to before in any relationship. She felt like she was evenly matched with him and the fear she expressed to him still hovered around her, but his declaration of love eased her heart a bit.

They rested for an hour before busting out of the van to go surfing again.

After their water fun, Erik fired up the grill heating up the ribs in covered foil, and roasted some baked potatoes. They stuffed their faces and drank wine watching the sun go down again.

An evening bonfire had them talking together and she learned more about his past and his famous competitions that she had tons of questions about. She shared more of her dreams while he held her hand and everything was perfect.

Until it was time to leave.

Their third day was filled with lovemaking and a run to the store for more condoms, before he had to take a call from his children in the evening to arrange a drop off time for them back in Mission Beach. He stood far away from her when he took that call, and once more, she watched him from the outside as real-life came back full force. She packed up her things while he spoke to Marina and Deuce and poured water over the ashes in the firepit and cleaned away the last of the coals in the BBQ grill.

Erik's tone of voice changed and Sabine knew Calista was on the phone. She switched out her flip flops for her slide on Birkenstocks and waited for him to finish. She watched him put his phone away and he stood still in deep thought. She knew the feeling.

It had been an intense three days, and confessions of love made it even more visceral. Her body was worn thin from a lot of surfing and a lot of sex…and she wanted more.

"All set?" he said.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up giving her a big wet kiss on her neck.

"You better be ready for me next weekend when the kids are gone. I want some more good stuff before I jet off to France and Tahiti."

She hated that they would miss each other in France. He would be arriving while she would be leaving for a qualifying series on North Carolina. She glanced at her watch. Traffic was going to suck balls if they didn't leave. Sabine climbed into her driver's seat. Erik stood by her open window.

"Kiss me," he said.

She leaned over and kissed him.

"Tell me what I want to hear," he whispered in her ear.

"I love you."

"I know you do. I'ma need to soak in ice tonight. Got me all bruised. You a wild woman."

"You love it."

"That I do. Cuz I love you, Ma. Don't you forget it. Get going. I want to see you leave first."

They kissed again slowly with their tongues battling for control of the other until he bit her lips with little nips.

"Fuck, Sugar. I just want you to come home with me."

"I got shit to do, and you..."

"I know. I'll see you at Surfgeist on Wednesday. Okay?"

"Yeah."

She started her van and he rapped his knuckles on the door.

"Drive safe you speed demon."

She rolled her eyes at him and backed out. Before she got far, she saw him pull out his phone again in the rearview and she felt a cold pulling in her stomach.


	25. Petty Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar has dinner with her parents right before Marina's birthday party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter. I'm cheating trying to keep this thing at 30 chapters before the next book!

"I'm not an easy lover, but I make times for others  
I don't take things lightly I'm not your average  
You keep calling me sober, like there's something to say  
But now the weekend is over, it's just another day

Yes I'm a bitchy lover today  
So don't speak to me when I feel this way  
Don't text me and expect to reply  
Cause we both know that she still on your mind  
I need to…

Let that shit go, let that shit go  
Keep telling me to…"

Jaz Karis – "Petty Lover"

Sabine's brother Robert pushed up close to her on his shortboard and they crashed into each other falling into small mushy waves over in Pacific Beach. Tadpole hooted behind them with his crew of white male surfers who Sabine was chill with. Mission Beach was her typical spot, but after being with Erik, Sabine began to spend more time in PB and Black's Beach. Black's Beach allowed her and her female friends to surf and sunbathe nude at the only nude beach in San Diego. PB gave her time to hang with her rambunctious white boy pals who were stoked she placed so high at Huntington Beach.

Robert shook his long hair and Sabine wiped the water from her eyes.

"We should get going," Robert said.

Sabine wasn't ready to go but she dragged herself and her board out of the water. It was a sucky surf and she hoped it would get better, but family Sunday dinner called, and Mr. and Mrs. Moreno expected their children to arrive on time with hungry bellies.

They rinsed off at the public shower and stacked their boards on the roof of Sabine's van. Rolling onto Olney street not too far from her old high school, Sabine pulled in front of her parent's yellow three-bedroom home. Walking into the house, Sabine could smell the rich savory odor of her mother's pot roast and garlic mashed potatoes.

"Right on time," Belinda called out.

Sabine and Robert beat paths to the two bathrooms in the house. She snagged her parent's bathroom in their bedroom as her brother took the other one near the hall. She showered, washed her hair, and gave herself two uneven twists and changed into cutoff jeans and a faded off-the-shoulder t-shirt.

Wandering into the kitchen, Sabine's mother handed her a stack of plates.

"Set the table outside," Belinda said giving Sabine a kiss on the cheek.

Robert was handed tableware and cups.

"Where's Papi?"

"Went to the store for some batteries."

Sabine went out to their backyard which was a cement patio enclosure with a picnic table and benches near a small patch of grass surrounding it for a park feel. A yellow umbrella cover stuck out from the patio table providing shade from the early evening sun that was heading into another lovely summer sunset.

Sabine and Robert set the table and helped their mother bring their dinner entrée and sides outside. By then, Cedro had returned replacing fake tea light candles in the center of the table with new tiny batteries.

"Voila!" Cedro said. He patted Sabine's shoulder.

"Been away from us for a while, Mija. Busy?" he asked.

Sabine caught her mother giving Cedro a look, but she pretended not to notice it and took a seat at the table. Robert sat across from their father and Sabine sat across from their mother. Serving dishes were passed around and plates were filled with hot delicious food. She closed her eyes the moment her mother's tender pot roast smothered in brown gravy hit her tongue.

"Been a minute since you ate a homecooked meal," Belinda said filling her fork with green beans.

"Yolanda's Dad made beef pancit and adobo chicken yesterday."

"Is that where you stayed?" Cedro asked.

Sabine ate some garlic mashed potatoes and stared at her father.

"Yeah. Asia and Girl Stacy were with us too. They're going to start up camp again. But this time they're going to hold classes at Tourmaline Beach. Parking is easier and the waves are better for beginners."

"You'll miss out on this session?" Robert asked.

"I'll try to help when I can, but yeah, I'm too busy."

"Training going well with Killmonger?" Belinda asked.

Papi's eyes narrowed. Sabine ignored his expression.

"Training is going well with Colin and Bruce. Killmonger is prepping for France and Tahiti."

"What happened to him training you?" Belinda asked.

Sabine started to feel ambushed.

"He still checks in with me occasionally at Surfgeist. Sends me notes from the videos Colin records of me."

She concentrated on eating while trying to sound nonchalant. The topic switched to relatives having babies and Robert moving into his new dorm room in a week. Her little brother was nervous, excited, and bewildered by all the changes happening to his life. He received an email from his new roommate and it sounded like a good match.

They ate homemade brownie bites with vanilla ice cream and Robert cleared the table. Her parents stayed seated and Sabine braced herself for an interrogation. Belinda glanced over at the house and the side double doors. Robert stayed inside.

"Your Dad told me that he found you and Killmonger together at the hotel arguing. He was hurting you—"  
"He wasn't hurting me—"

"The man had you by your arm like he grabbed you up. You were near tears—"

"Papi, I told you…I was upset about losing to Belmira and I said some rude things—"

"No man needs to have their hands on you in that way," Belinda said.

"Mom, it's not like that—"

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"Papi! Dag!"

Sabine's eyes darted away. Busted.

"Sugar, the man is married," Belinda said.

"He's legally separated and getting a divorce—"

She regretted saying that.

"So, you are sleeping with him?"

"Mom…"

"Mom, nothing. You know better than that," Belinda said.

Sabine couldn't lie, so she kept her mouth shut.

"Sugar. That man is a decade older than you. He's had a life and yours is just beginning. He's got kids, and until he's divorced, he still has a wife. I know a lovers spat when I see one, and you need to stop this thing."

"It's not like that, Papi—"

"Then what is it?" Belinda asked.

"It's complicated."

"Not too long ago you came into the restaurant upset and talking about messing up a relationship. You are still growing into adulthood. Your brain hasn't even finished maturing and forming into its grown-up version—"

"Ohmigod. You're going to use science to tell me—"

Cedro slammed his hand on the table.

"Sugar…listen to us. We know you're an adult in the legal sense, but you're still so young and you're still growing mentally. I know it must be exciting to be around your hero, but think about it. What could he want from a young woman like you besides sex?"

"Ugh! I don't want to hear this!"

Sabine's mother reached out and touched her hand.

"We know you'll do what you want. We can't stop you. You have a fierce independent streak and we raised you to be that way. What your Dad and I are trying to do is get you to look at the big picture. The long-term outcome of this…relationship."

"Do you even think about his kids, Mija? His son works for us. Deuce is a great kid. Think about how he'll feel if he finds out you're messing around with his Dad? He struggles with this separation. I've talked to him during breaks, and he worries about his parents. Why would you insert yourself into all of that? You're too smart."

Sabine still couldn't look her parents in the eye. She stared at the metal rod on the table umbrella that opened and closed the canopy above them.

"Honey, leave him alone, for your own sake and the sake of his children," Belinda pleaded.

She felt pain in her chest. Her parents were disappointed in her. She hated that.

"We won't talk to you about this again, okay? It's uncomfortable but we had to speak on it," Cedro said.

She nodded.

Cedro stood up and walked into the house. Belinda moved to sit right next to Sabine, throwing an arm around her daughter's shoulder.

"I know that look," Belinda said.

Sabine turned her face away.

"You're in love. Aren't you?"

Sabine's face grew tight and she felt shame flow over her, but she held it together.

"It just happened. Part of it was just the fantasy of him, y'know? But then I got to know him and…Mom…he just…I can't even put words to it."

"New love is always intense and fills you with so much desire and need. I get it. But reality does come back around, honey. We don't want you to get hurt—"

"But he loves me too. He told me."

"What happened at the hotel?"

"I was upset that his wife was there. I tried to act like I didn't need him and pushed him aside and he just grabbed my arm to make me stay and talk to him."

"Did you hear what you said? You were upset that his wife was there. His wife. He had his children with him too. Why put yourself through that, Sugar? It's not worth the pain. Or the pain you can give his children. I've spoken to Deuce too. He carries this hurt with him and he puts a wall up to the world to cope with it."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I swear, I didn't mean for this to happen. Erik doesn't just want sex with me. It's more than that—"

"If it is, then you live your life and he needs to handle his business without you. Date other people, start your career focused on you…if it's meant to be then he'll come back to you. Please don't put your happiness on hold waiting for some man to get his shit together."

Sabine exhaled with the breath she held in her chest. She was glad that she didn't cry even though her lip trembled and her voice came out warbly.

"It's hard, Mom. I can't just turn these feelings off—"

"I'm not telling you to. You feel what you feel. But you can have those feelings and stay away too. Call him and tell him that you're putting things on pause. Then go about your business."

Belinda went into the house and Sabine sat at the picnic table alone and feeling like crap.

There was no way.

Spending three days alone with Erik had solidified everything for her. They fit. That's all she could come up with to explain how fulfilling the entire time at the San Onofre Bluffs had been. They were hyper-focused on each other, but there were times when they gave one another space to be alone. Erik went for long walks on the beach trails while she read, or she went for a little exploration while he read or napped. They sat in her camp chairs and just stared at their bonfire in silence, the flickering red and gold flames hypnotizing them both. She laid up against him in her van while he massaged her scalp and told her travel stories, or he fell asleep on her lap and she rubbed the back of Erik's neck listening to his soft rhythmic breathing. There were so many similarities in their life paths.

Sabine thought of Deuce.

That smart-mouthed boy who seemed to open up to her parents and become this person she had never met. She was terrified of making the child want to leave Erik again.

Her body felt heavy as she stood up to join her family in the house. Everyone was in their small den watching an American version of a Korean show she watched with her friends. The Masked Singer. They tried guessing what celebrity was dressed as a tub of popcorn. True to their word, there was no more talk of Killmonger.

She spent the night in her old room where her big travel suitcases were already packed. She curled into another fetal position on her bed in her sleep shorts and a sports bra holding the beach-themed party invitation and thinking about Marina's big day. Making the decision not to attend, Sabine's throat grew swollen from the quiet crying she did. She was going to break the little girl's heart just to protect her from the mess she and Erik made by falling in love with each other. Two weeks had already passed since their secret rendezvous. She only saw him twice after that, both times at Surfgeist, and they were never alone. It drove her nuts not being able to touch him, or kiss, or even make love again since that joyous tryst. She had been on her period the week before so she was cool with no physical contact, and they both went to get tested for STDs and shared their results to make sure things were cool. She missed him.

Her hormones kicked her ass.

Thoughts of him had her squirming in her panties and when her cycle was over, she was dying to get another taste of him. He was just too damn busy and she got another close-up of his world once his entire team started being around him. Erik was a mini-industry and it took her a minute to adjust to his personal assistant Ryan. He kept talking about someone named Ryan handling his daily schedule and travel itinerary, and when Sabine called his house phone, she was shocked that a woman answered all breathy and business-like. When Sugar asked who she was, Ryan was not with the shits and took a message for Killmonger and let her know the appropriate hours to call him for business as a courtesy reminder.

Sabine had been irked about it until she met Ryan in person, a petite brunette with shoulder-length hair and a thin build. She looked mixed with Asian and white and followed Erik around Surfgeist constantly using a Samsung tablet with a pen handling all off Erik's work affairs. He had a male personal chef that took over meals for him at home, and Sabine spent very little time actually talking to him. The last chat she had over the phone with Erik was the previous day, and it was a quick dissection of her practice heats with Colin. His voice sounded strained and his thoughts seemed to be occupied elsewhere. She stepped back a bit to let him take care of his personal life and she used that time to focus on her own work with Colin and Bruce. She did notice he kept tabs on her by liking all of her social media posts with his burner account that he created just to follow her and share DMs. There were a lot of "thinking of you" and "stay on task" notes. Sabine felt conflicted. Was he trying to pull back also because she was too much for him to engage with fully?

She stopped crying thinking about him. He was back on his regular pro schedule and it began to look like surfing would separate them naturally. It gave her a glimpse into the life she was working toward.

The pain of disappointing Marina simmered in her spirit. It would just feel horrible being around Calista. She tried to think of valid excuses to give Marina about not being there. Twirling the cute dolphin invitation in her hand and staring at Marina's writing, Sabine was torn in so many directions. Yolanda and Asia would be there, so she could just pal around with them and have fun. But Calista had sharp eyes and would watch every interaction, no matter how casual. God, it all felt so torrid.

Unless…

Sabine grabbed her cell phone from off the nightstand. She swiped Colin's phone number.

"Uh oh, another late nighter. You in jail again?" Colin joked.

"No! You busy?"

"For you? Never. Talk to me."

"Can I ask you a big favor?"

"Sure. Let me hear it."

"Can you pretend to be my boyfriend?"

###

Sabine sipped a coke as she rode her skateboard south on the boardwalk. She stopped to tie her shoelace and throw away her empty soda can when she saw Deuce barreling his way on his skateboard going North on the boardwalk. He kicked up his board and caught it when he saw her.

"Heading to work?" she asked.

He nodded.

"I'm going there too."

He studied her face and Sabine hopped on her board and dug her toes into the cement and pushed off. Deuce followed, cutting in front of her fast.

"Hey!" she shouted and he looked back at her with a smug expression.

Deuce cut down a side street toward the taqueria. At a stoplight, they eyed each other before tearing out again when the green walkway sign popped up. Sabine grabbed for his backpack to slow him down but Deuce shook her away. She flipped him off and he laughed all the way to the front door of the restaurant. They both headed to separate restrooms to wash their hands leaving their boards at a table. When they came out, Papi had a tray of shrimp tacos for them both.

Sabine sat with Deuce in a corner booth and they ate their food in silence. She watched his face and saw the puberty acne beginning to pop out a little. He looked relaxed as he ate.

"You like working here?" she finally asked when she finished eating before him.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"It's fun."

"Bussing tables and washing dishes is fun for you? Deuce Stevens. Bougie negro, Deuce?"

"It relaxes me. I like the repetitive actions. Helps me think."

"You have a lot, on your mind?"

Deuce stared at her and his light brown eyes were hard to read. She expected him to blurt out a smartass comment but he just sat there quietly.

"My parents like having you here. Papi says you make the staff laugh a lot."

"People are cool here."

He stared at his last uneaten taco.

"You went to Mission Bay High School, right?"

"Yeah."

"You like it?"

"I had a blast. I mean classes were a pain and I ditched a lot to go surf with my friends, but I endured. Why?"

"I might go there."

"Oh, yeah? You don't like the school you go to?"

"It's okay, but I want to be around regular people."

"Regular people?" Sabine scoffed.

"I don't mean it like that. I mean…it's hard to explain."

"What do you not like about your school?"

"La Jolla Country Day…it's kind of sheltered. People are boring."

"Why Mission Bay?"

"I met some kids here who go there and they were cool and they seemed more interesting than the people at my school. They just feel real to me. Like they live in the real world. I dunno."

"My friends made school fun. The school itself doesn't do that. You have friends up there?"

"Yeah, but…they're boring. It just makes school drag to me."

"What's boring about them?"

"All they do is focus on school stuff and getting into the right college, and studying all the time. There's pressure to be perfect and it's…wack."

"You get good grades?"

Deuce stared at her like she was bugging asking that.

"Straight A's, nothing less."

"You talk to your parents about this?"

"Not yet."

"Why not?"

"They pay a lot."

"How much is tuition there?"

"Nosy."

"Don't tell me then—"

"Thirty-seven thousand a year."

"For you and Marina?!"

Sabine glanced around the restaurant. A few customers looked their way.

"Boy, your parents have invested a lot for your education."

"They pay less at that school than the one I went to in L.A."

"When are you going to talk to your parents? Have you ever visited the Mission Bay campus? It'll be a bit of a downgrade for your kind."

"My kind?"

"Rich people."

"Maybe I want a downgrade."

"You don't like rich people?"

"They can be fake."

"Are you fake?"

"Nah."

"But you're rich."

"I have a rich Dad."

"Same thing."

"No, it's not. I just get an allowance."

"How much you get-?"

"Nosy ass—"

"Aight—"

"I get fifty dollars a week."

"For chores and stuff, right?"

"Chores? We have housekeepers."

"So two hundred dollars a month…"

"That's not a lot—"

"To you!" she said rolling her neck like he always did to her.

He laughed.

"You have a whole year to talk to your parents about changing schools. You're in the eighth grade now?"

"Yeah."

"Talk to your parents about being with us poors—"

"You're not poor."

"If you have to work more than forty hours a week just to survive, that's the working poor."

"Papi's not poor."

Sabine stared at him. Calling her father Papi?

"Papi works long hours. Way too many hours."

"But he likes what he does."

"I know, but it still takes a lot to run this place."

"That's because it's popular. Does better than the place across the street and they sell Mexican food too. People love it here. It stays poppin' all day. Nothing is ever boring here—"

"Deuce! You ready?"

Papi held up his hand from one of the cash registers.

"You gonna finish that taco?" Sabine asked.

He pushed his uneaten food to her.

"Greedy," he said.

"Let me know if you want to visit Mission Bay. I can give you a tour. I can show you the best skateboarding spots."

Deuce nodded and headed to the counter. Papi spoke to him as Deuce pulled on his work apron and whatever her father said to the boy made him smile wide. Papi patted his shoulder and Deuce headed through the door that led into the kitchen.

He was different. The normal confidence and sharp wit were mild as they spoke, and she thought of what her parents said. It made her think of how she would feel if Cedro and Belinda were going through some divorce and some woman cozied up to Papi. Sabine remembered how sensitive she was as a child. Her anger and stress and strong feelings of emotions always erupted into tears because of all the angst bottled up. Deuce was always direct with people, and since he hadn't spoken to his parents about changing schools this let her know that he was afraid of something.

Sabine ate her meal and pulled out her laptop. She checked surf forecasts for France and peeped her social media. Erik liked the two posts she made. One was of herself upside down on Yolanda's couch with a glass of wine in her underwear, and one of her and Girl Stacy hanging out in Chicano Park sitting on her cousin Sleepy's car while he chopped it up with some lowrider crews. They were trying to serve face for the camera and it looked pretty damn good. Her friends thought so too. Her DM icon popped up.

Y'all join the New Black Panthers or something?

Sabine felt her insides get bubbly. She typed up a quick message back to Erik.

Just hanging out. How are you? Are things still hectic?

Still hectic. Everything going good on your end?

She sent him a thumbs-up emoji.

He texted back.

I miss you.

Deuce walked past with a brown dish bin and cleared off some tables behind her. She waited for him to return to the kitchen before she responded.

I'm good. Really busy. Miss you too.

See you at the party.

Gotta go. Just so you know, Colin is going to pretend to be my boyfriend when we show up so Calista won't trip.

Sabine's phone rang next to her laptop.

Erik.

She stared at it and let it go to voicemail as she signed off of her social media account and put away her computer in her computer bag.

Her text mail blew up.

Answer your phone.

She stared at her phone as her stomach churned.

Her cell blew up again. Another text.

Sugar, pick up!

"I'm out, Papi!" she called grabbing her things and heading out of the building.

She slung her computer bag across her shoulders as she kick pushed her board toward her van. She threw on her phone buds and answered his call.

"What I tell you about calling other people about shit?"

"I wasn't going to come to Marina's party. Colin would be a good cover for me. I don't want Calista on my ass, Erik. She would know everything just looking at my face."

"You could use one of your male friends—"

"Colin was going to be there anyway, and none of my male friends could fake it. They're too goofy."

"It's going to be at the amusement park—"

"I know, but—"

"You're making a mountain out of a molehill for no reason."

"No reason? Do you even care that I'm going to be walking around your family like there's nothing between us? I haven't seen you or been alone with you for two weeks. We're both training and running around. The moment I see you people would know—"

"Sugar…alright already. I hear you."

"I'm not coming. Forget it. It was a stupid idea"

"Please come. Marina would be devastated if you didn't. You mean a lot to her. We're adults. We can handle two hours having fun with her on her day. I'll keep Calista in check."

"Erik…maybe we shouldn't do this. Not now…"

Her mind went to Deuce.

"I don't want to hear that—"

"We're not around each other and this could be the space we need…the space that you need to get things in order on your end."

He was quiet.

Seconds turned to a full silent minute.

"Erik?"

"I'm here."

"Things are cranking up for you and we'll both be out of the country next week—"

"Can we talk about this over dinner or something? Maybe after the birthday party?"

Sabine stopped skating. It could be an adult conversation. Her mother's words of advice floated around. Let this man get his shit together.

"We can have dinner."

"Good. I'll see you soon."

She put her cell in her bag and let her feelings settle. The feeling of being pulled in many directions started again.

###

Colin picked her and her friends up.

It would look good for appearances.

Marina's party was an all-day affair. It started across the street from Belmont Park at the Bonita Cove right in front of the bay water with a giant sea-themed bounce castle. Fifteen girls, twelve of which came from the surf camp swam in the bay, jumped around inside the bounce castle, and ate grilled hot dogs and burgers.

Sabine, Yolanda, and Asia rolled up their sleeves and assisted Calista in running one of the best-organized outings they had ever participated in. Calista had the parents who stayed occupied with adult games while she had her female friends kept the girls happy.

When they first arrived, Sabine had knots in her stomach as she walked with Colin trying to give the impression that they were together. But Calista was all smiles and greeted them all with sincere energy.

"Those gift wrappings look amazing, here, put the gifts on that table and help yourself to food and drinks. All non-alcoholic."

Sabine and her friends put their gift on a table piled high with birthday presents. Shiny metallic blue and aquamarine balloons floated everywhere along with Sponge Bob Square pants decorations. The birthday cake was cute, and Marina was adorable dressed in a Little Mermaid swimsuit with a seashell crown.

"Sugar! Asia! Yolanda! Uncle Colin!"

The birthday girl ran up to them and gave them each a big hug around their waists. Marina's eyes danced with excitement.

Sabine glanced around. There were a lot of adults hanging out, but the food looked amazing they were busy stuffing their faces and checking on their kids from time to time with happy shouts to them. She didn't see Erik anywhere until Calista shouted to him and Deuce.

"Get out of that thing!"

Calista walked over to the bounce house with her hands on her hips. Her skin looked a little sun-burned in her short pink summer dress. Deuce stuck his head out from one of the bouncy windows with two other boys, one black and one Latino.

"This is for the girls, go swim or skateboard or something."

"But it's huge! There's a lot of space in here!" Deuce yelled.

"Erik!" Calista shouted.

Sabine laughed along with Colin and her friends when Erik stuck his head out.

"What?!" Erik said.

"Let the girls enjoy this!"

Erik slid down the barnacle slide and jumped up slapping Calista on the butt.

"I rented the one that adults can use too!"

Sabine felt a way about him touching Calista like that.

"Out!" Calista said.

Deuce and his friends tumbled down the slide all wild and Calista shooed them toward the Bay water to swim. The girls were all busy eating chips and hot dogs on blankets. Some wore flower crowns and others had leis around their necks. Their chatter was non-stop.

Erik's eyes left Calista's and found Sabine's. She tried to be as blank as possible with Colin right next to her. He walked over to them and she felt her nerves crank up.

"Hey, man! Looks great out here!" Colin said.

Erik clasped his friend's hand. He greeted Sabine, Yolanda, and Asia, like normal guests and she was relieved when Calista paid them no mind. Within minutes, the girls were climbing into the bouncy house with Marina leading the charge.

"Get some food. Everything is good," Erik said.

Sabine joined her friends in fixing plates and meeting the parents. The party was cranking on all cylinders and Calista walked up to her.

"Hi, Sugar. Can I ask a big favor? Would you, Asia, and Yolanda mind watching the girls while they swim. It's been thirty minutes since they've eaten and they want to use the rafts. I need to call the laser tag place to get ready for us."

Erik was entertaining the parents in a game of Taboo with Colin.

"Sure, no problem," Sabine said.

Calista looked relieved.

"I think I may have planned too much trying to have her party in two places."

"The girls are having a great time. This is awesome," Asia said.

"Thank you. I'm just so happy all the people Marina invited showed up. She was so stressed that no one would come. Even Deuce is having fun."

They all glanced over at her son and his friends as they ran around throwing water balloons at each other while screaming loud and being rowdy.

"I don't even know those boys. They don't go to his school," Calista observed. "Be right back," she said pulling out her cell phone.

"Has she even eaten yet?" Yolanda asked.

"I think I saw her nibble on some chips," Sabine said.

They walked over to the girls as they grabbed inflatable sea animal-shaped rafts. They splashed into the water and Sabine wished she had a bathing suit to join them. She and her friends stuck their feet into the water and watched all the children have fun with Marina squealing loud. Deuce and his friends had changed into trunks and swam away from the girls.

Mountain out of a molehill.

Erik was right. She felt no tension from Calista or even shady looks. Of course, the woman was busy running around with Erik keeping everyone happy and entertained, so she had no time to even think about anyone other than making her daughter happy. Sabine was grateful.

An hour went by and she heard splashing behind her and the next thing Sabine knew, she was falling face-first into the bay. She jumped up wiping her face and Deuce's laughter made her spin around.

"Got you!" Deuce called out laughing.

Sabine ran after him and when she caught him, she lifted him up and threw him into the water as his friends laughed at him. They splashed water at each other and she put him in a headlock and they both fell over. When she stood up in the water, Colin stared at them all. Deuce crawled out and ran his hands through his hair. His lank tresses curled at the ends.

Colin held his hand out for her and she took it.

"Calista said it's time to cut the cake," Colin said.

"Let's go, girls! Cake time!" Sabine called.

A wave of legs and wet bodies left the bay and they all walked over to the cake table. Erik lit the candles as Calista stood behind Marina with her hands on her daughter's shoulders. Marina's eyes took in her birthday cake and she looked around the crowd of girls and adults surrounding her. She brushed back her wet curly hair from her eyes and Sabine could tell something was wrong, the water from her face wasn't from being in the bay. The girl was crying.

"Baby girl?" Erik said once he caught the shift in his child.

Marina wiped her eyes and turned to bury her face in Calista's chest.

"Muffin, what is it?" Calista said.

Calista stepped away from the table with Marina.

"Something happen in the water?" Erik asked Deuce.

Deuce shrugged his shoulders and walked over to his mother and sister.

"I'll be back," Erik said going to his family.

There was an awkward silence among the rest of them. Two of the girls from Sabine's camp walked over to Marina to comfort her.

After a few minutes, Erik walked back over and looked at everyone.

"Everything okay?" Colin asked.

"Marina is feeling a little overwhelmed right now. She's fine, just working through everyone being here with her. She's happy, but it's a lot for her—"

The rest of the girls ran to Marina and gave her hugs. Each one giving her space as they wrapped arms around her helping to wipe her eyes. Two of the Black girls that Marina met at the camp held her hand and brought her back to the cake. Erik reached out his hand to her and Marina clasped it, pressing her face against his side.

"Happy birthday to you…" Sabine started.

The others joined in and Marina turned her face toward them all.

Calista walked back over and stroked her daughter's hair and joined in the singing with everyone else. When they got to the end of the refrain, Sabine and Yolanda switched up the version to the Stevie Wonder Black one and the group laughed and clapped.

"Go Marina, it's your birthday, we're gonna party like it's your birthday!" Sabina shouted.

Marina smiled wide and when they were done, Sabine pointed to the cake, helping her focus on one thing at that moment.

"Blow out your candles, baby shark," Sabine said.

Her nickname for Marina made the girl smile even harder and she stepped close to the cake holding Erik's hand.

"Make a wish first!" Asia said.

Marina held a finger to her chin.

"Close your eyes," Sabine said.

Marina did and her face became radiant. When she opened them back up, she blew out the ten blue candles and everyone clapped. Calista hugged her and Marina had the biggest grin on her face. There were no more tears.

Colin grabbed the cake knife and started cutting and putting the cake slices on paper plates as Calista passed them out.

"We'll have ice cream over at Belmont park right before we go play laser tag," Erik said.

The girls cheered and spread out on their blankets to eat. Marina ran over with her piece of cake that had her name on it to sit in the middle of the group. Calista gazed at Erik and her hand went to her mouth as her eyes watered. Erik put an arm around her and they walked away from the table.

"Maybe it was too much…" Calista said in a muffled tone.

Sabine turned her head from them and saw Deuce and his friends standing near another table eating cake and clowning one another.

"Hey Deuce," she said.

"Sup?"

"Is Marina okay?"

Deuce's eyes darted over to where Marina was sitting.

"She gets like that sometimes. Real sensitive. She kept saying she was happy, but I think having a lot of people staring at her made her nervous."

"She's going to be okay, right?"

"Yeah. This has happened before. She's good. She's never really had a party like this because she can't handle a lot of…stimulation? When too much is happening to her, she freaks out."

"Oh."

"Don't trip. She'll get over it. See? She's laughing already."

Sabine watched Marina eat cake and all of her party guests surrounded her with support. She turned back to Deuce. She needed to get her mind off of Erik comforting his wife.

"These your Country Day friends?"

"Pffft…no," Deuce said.

"We go to Mission Bay," the Black boy said.

"What's your name?"

"Bertram," the Black boy said.

"Sergio," The Latino boy said.

"You guys come to my Dad's taco shop, right?"

"Yeah. Mr. Moreno is your, Dad?" Bertram asked.

"Yeah."

"That's cool," Bertram said.

"What grade are you guys in?" she asked.

"Really?" Deuce said, "You sound like my Mom."

The boys laughed.

"We're in the ninth grade," Sergio said.

Deuce looked annoyed and Sabine took the hint.

She left them alone and returned to Asia and Yolanda's table to eat cake with Colin and two parents. The chocolate marble cake was fluffy and quite tasty. Sabine ate two big pieces. Calista checked in with Marina and Erik came to their table holding a plate of cake. For the first time that day, he looked at Sabine. She wrenched her eyes away from him not wanting to deal with her feelings for him and the discomfort she felt with how loving he was with Calista. She had no right to feel that way. The woman was the mother of his child and Calista was upset that their daughter was upset.

"All good?" Colin asked.

"Back on track," Erik said.

Once everyone had their fill of cake and the children were dry, and after Marina opened her gifts, Calista hustled the girls to slip on their shorts.

"We're going to head over to the laser tag place!" Calista called out.

Erik and a few parents stayed behind to clear up the cake and leftover food. The bounce house company arrived and cleared out their product.

"Everyone, you're welcome to stay here and chill while we take the girls to play at Belmont Park. We'll be done with the tag place in an hour and then they'll ride the rides and all that for another two hours before we head back here. We have enough chaperones, so you are free to do as you wish. Eat more, get in the water, wander over and play…just be here to take your crumb snatchers when we return!" Erik explained.

The parents laughed. Most of them stayed put, but six walked over with Erik to Belmont Park. Sabine's clothes were still damp, but she could handle it. She stuck near Colin and her friends following behind Erik.

The laser tag spot had the girls geeked out. They slipped on Tron-themed laser vests and once they had their two teams divided and held their colored laser guns in their hands, they were off to the races. Erik bought the Unlimited Birthday Package, so once they were done playing tag, they could run around the small amusement park and ride anything they wanted. Deuce and his buddies were free to roam the park and do as they pleased with check-ins to Erik by phone every twenty minutes.

Time passed and once the girls were done with tag, they all moved over to the bumper cars, and then the tilt-a-whirl, the carousel, rock climbing, and various other rides that involved spinning and dropping down from the sky. Sabine was exhausted by the time they were done running around. Marina had a blast, and they stopped at the restrooms to make sure everyone voided their bladders of soda before heading home.

Strolling back across the street they released the party guests to their parents and Sabine, along with Yolanda, Asia, and Colin, cleaned up any mess left behind and carried Marina's presents to Calista's gray BMV in the Bay parking area.

"Oh! I left my crown!" Marina shouted.

"Where did you have it last?" Calista asked.

"Laser tag."

Calista looked annoyed.

"I can go back and get it with her," Sabine offered.

"Thanks!" Calista said, relieved she wouldn't have to do it.

Marina grabbed Sabine's hand. Yolanda and Asia joined her. They took their time crossing the street and heading back into the amusement park.

"Do you remember exactly where you left it?" Sabine asked.

"I think so."

The laser tag staff allowed them to look around the space for Marina's birthday crown. They couldn't find it. Marina's face looked like it was about to crumble. A female assistant manager walked over to them when they returned to the front counter.

"Our birthday girl left her birthday crown here," Sabine said.

The woman smiled and reached under the counter.

"We thought you may come back. Here you go," she said handing the missing crown to Marina.

The girl placed it on her head.

"Thank you," Marina said.

"You're welcome."

They left the laser tag building and took a moment to watch the rollercoaster go around once. It was the one ride they were unable to go on with the girls because some of them were too short for it.

"You have a good time, Marina?" Yolanda asked.

"Yeah! Everyone came, and I got the best gifts! Thank you for my shirt and stuff."

Sabine and her friends chipped in to buy Marina a colored ink-set with one hundred art pens with five adult coloring books that had complex designs more complicated than a regular child's coloring book. They also gave her a Girls Surf! T-shirt with her name on it and the title "Assistant Manager". She loved it. Deuce was impressed with the art pens and tried checking them out before Erik swatted his hand away.

Sabine felt relaxed and the day was fun. Marina was happy. That was all that mattered.

"You put him up to this!"

Calista's shrill voice took Sabine back to the first day she ever met Erik immediately.

They walked up to where Calista's car was parked and she was screaming at Erik, shoving her fingers in his face. Colin jumped between them and Deuce leaned up against the BMV with a tight-lipped expression.

"What is it now?" Sabine whispered.

Marina clutched Sabine's hand.

"Not again," The girl whispered.

"Calista, chill. Don't do this!" Colin called out.

Calista was in full Calista mode. Erik was not shying away with getting in her face, shoving his chest against Colin's to yell back at her.

"Take her back to the park," Sabine said to Yolanda and Asia.

Marina would not let go of her hand.

"Baby shark, go with them. I'll make them stop, okay?"

Marina nodded and her lip trembled. Her eyes gleamed with tears. Yolanda and Asia took her away.

"Dammit, Erik," Sabine muttered under her breath as she walked over to them.

"You never want to listen to him. All you do is pencil in what you think he wants!" Erik shouted.

"You're just trying to take him from me. Both of them!"

Deuce jumped in.

"I just want to go to Mission Bay next year. I can live with Dad and see you on the weekends—"

"No!" Calista shrieked.

"I'm going!" Deuce belted out storming away from them both.

"Get back over here!" Calista shrieked.

Deuce kept walking and Calista went after him. Erik grabbed her arm and pulled her back, shoving her against her BMV. Colin stood close to him trying to calm them both.

"Private school will get him where he needs to be. He can't afford to go to some trash school—"

"I went there. It's a good school. He just wants to have a new experience," Sabine offered, moving in next to Erik.

Mistake.

Calista's sharp eyes fixated on Sabine.

"No one asked for your fucking opinion!"

Calista lunged for Sabine and Erik pushed her back hard against the BMW. Calista took the small gift bag she held in her hand and struck Erik in the face with it twice and he grabbed her by her throat and slammed her back against the car. He shoved a finger from his other hand in her face.

"Keep putting your fucking hands on me and I will mess you up. I'm done with your ungrateful ass, Calista!"

"Erik, yo, man. This ain't it. Let her go…c'mon now!" Colin said softly.

"Mess me up! Go ahead! I'd like to see you do it! You're such a big bad ass…go ahead. Beat my ass. Let the whole world see Killmonger the Great abuse a woman-!"

"Erik…please. Let her go," Sabine whispered.

She pulled on his bicep and his face was so terrifying to see. His breathing was hard and she could see his internal struggle to keep from beating the shit out of her.

"Erik, don't let her ruin your reputation…"

"Yeah, that's all he cares about. Fucking his whores in secret and trying to take my children from me!"

"Calista, stop trying to goad him into hurting you," Sabine said.

"Oh, he's beyond hurting me. I've been disrespected, made the laughing stock among our friends. Isn't that right, honey? I'm just that washed-up white girl that you don't want to use anymore—"

"Calista…" Colin said.

Erik was bleeding.

Whatever was in the gift bag injured his eye and there was blood pooling down the left side of his face. Sabine reached into her fanny pack and pulled out some tissue and wiped his face tenderly.

"Let her go," Sabine begged.

His breathing was harsh and he turned to look at Sabine with brutal heat in his eyes. If she or Colin weren't there, he would beat this woman to a pulp. She could feel that hard energy wafting off of him. She stroked the side of his face.

"You're better than this."

"Dad!"

Deuce returned. Erik glanced over at his son and released Calista. She struck him in the face again with the bag and Sabine slapped her hard. The woman's head whipped back and she stumbled against the car.

"Knock it off!" Sabine shrieked.

Calista grabbed her cheek and started crying. Sabine stepped back, shocked at what she had done herself.

"Mom!"

Deuce ran over to Calista and she crumbled to the ground like a sad sack of potatoes. Erik rushed forward to help her up and Calista buried her face in his chest.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Calista gasped as she wept in Erik's arms.

"I just want to go to school there. I have better friends here. I'm not trying to leave you, Mom!" Deuce said as he buried his face in his Mom's shoulder.

Colin pulled Sabine away from them.

"C'mon. Let's give them some space. They have to work this shit out on their own," he said.

"Erik?" Sabine said.

Erik didn't look at Sabine, just held his hand up to make her stop talking. It was dismissive and she felt hurt pour all over her.

"Where's Marina?" Colin asked.

"She's with Yolanda and Asia over at Belmont Park—"

Colin linked his elbow with hers and pulled her away.

Glancing back, Sabine saw Erik holding Calista and Deuce. His hands stroked Calista's back and her head rested under his neck.

Sabine fought the angry tears that threatened to spill from her lids. They joined her friends over by the rollercoaster. Marina was anxious.

"Hey baby shark," Sabine said trying to make her face look positive.

She couldn't do it and broke down in tears herself. Yolanda and Asia pulled her close.

"What's going on?" Asia asked.

"Take her to her parents," Sabine told Colin.

Colin took Marina by the hand.

"What's wrong with Sugar?" Marina asked.

"Come on sweetheart, we have to get you back to all those cool birthday presents," Colin said making his voice sound chipper.

"Sugar?" Marina said tapping Sabine on her arm.

Sabine couldn't stop her tears.

"Go with Uncle Colin, Marina. I'm okay…I'm okay," she bawled.

Colin whisked Marina away and Sabine could not stop crying.


	26. How You Feel?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik's life has changed and so has Sugar's...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few more chapters yet. I will probably post every other day because the chapters have been longer.

"You say you love me baby and I don't doubt it  
But you always find some way around it, oh yeah  
And is it love when we can't even keep in touch  
We sleep like 20 feet apart  
So tell me where you are

And if I'm being honest it's been hard to be honest  
When I do you always tell me fix my mouth like orthodontist  
So I'm just tryna collect all my coins like I'm sonic  
So I don't have to see none of you fuckers when I'm shining  
Somebody say something  
Somebody say something  
It won't be long 'til I start swinging like a playground  
How long I gotta wait for?  
You said we'd talk on day four  
Five six  
I flip  
Oh shit  
Now suddenly I'm a bitch?"

Swsh—"How You Feel?"

Erik sat at his home office desk and stared at his laptop.

The picture he stared at made his mind run at top speed. Sugar sat at a fancy dinner table with the French CEO Billionaire of Maverick Innovative Sports, Jean Fouche. Erik's eyes could not get over how Sugar looked. Black Sequined blazer and no top. The swell of her deeply tanned breasts were provocatively displayed. No nipples though. Sexy. Sophisticated.

The girl had learned well from Erik by making herself a scarce and sought-after commodity. She signed an exclusive and lucrative sponsorship deal with Maverick bypassing offers from Billabong, Quicksilver, Roxy, Hurley, and so many other major surf sponsors. She won first place in the Caraibos Lacanau Pro in France beating Belmira and so Erik assumed that's where she met Jean Fouche. Soon after, she beat Belmira again in Spain at the ABANCA Galicia Classic Surf Pro. A second-place showing in Japan followed and then she was off to Australia to face the Australian female champion, Grace Campbell. Sugar came in second and Erik was amused to see that she still had a hard time hiding her disappointment at losing to anyone.

She cut ties to Surfgeist and hired a new coach and he found out she was training in La Jolla and up in Malibu when she did fly back to the states. She was doing the damn thing and his predictions for her nearly six months previous had come true. She also diversified her own portfolio by branching out into other media like him. He caught her in a music video for a famous eclectic Black female singer who was related to the biggest pop star in the world. It was a shock to be in the apple store shopping for a new computer and seeing Sugar shaking her hips and looking fly as hell as she did it.

Erik saw the grumblings in the surf world, especially from the women's side. Quite a few popular female surfers criticized Sugar for selling sexy instead of her athleticism. During an interview on The View, he watched Sugar tell Whoopi Goldberg that Black women were always being policed on how they handled their own bodies and to have white women commenting on what she does with hers was the same bullshit that Serena Williams, Venus Williams, and so many other well-known Black celebrities endured.

"They aren't critiquing my sexiness, they are critiquing my Blackness and it is a threat to them because I'm winning so much. My body, my, hair, my assertive energy is a disruption to the status quo. Fuck them."

They bleeped out the "fuck them" part.

Sugar's attitude didn't win her many female friends in the surf world, but she had Kelly Slater's respect when he interviewed her for a surf podcast. She made sure to shout out her Bad Cat crew, especially Belmira. They were always neck and neck at some of the smaller competitions and often flip-flopped wins between them garnering them a Sports Illustrated spread that showed their friendship over the years and dug deep into their surfing roots. There was a cute picture of Sugar when she was a little girl and he learned a few things about her that made him smile. She leveraged her unique looks, skills, and personality. It was not a surprise to hear the surfing world comparing her to him. A Black mouthy phenom that backed up any words spoken. He was proud of her.

It hurt to see her from so far away.

After Marina's birthday party, he never saw her again in person. He called about what had transpired that terrible night, but she only spoke to him on the phone. She apologized for slapping Calista in front of Deuce and broke it off with him. He tried pleading with her to give him time, but she would have nothing to do with him. The trauma of that night broke them both.

"You're not ready for me," she said.

"Sugar, I'm trying. It's not easy—"

"Try harder. But not with me."

"You won't even give me a chance to fix this?"

"Fix what? Calista has a hold on you. Do you want to know how I felt when I called your name and you just waved your hand at me like I was some mosquito buzzing in your ear?"

"I don't remember doing that."

"Of course not, you were too busy hugging your precious little delicate wife—"

"Sugar, I love you."

"I know you think you believe that. But I didn't feel it then. That's my fault though. I should've just let her beat you up and walked away. Would've saved me all the heartache of being dismissed like an annoyance. I'm not your first choice. I know it now. I'm just glad I didn't invest that much time in you."

"Don't say that to me…baby…don't say that…please."

"Bye, Erik. Maybe you'll do better with someone else next time."

He could hear the tremors in her voice and could imagine the tears on her face as she spoke to him. She refused to do a face chat so he could at least look in her eyes. If he could see her eyes then he would know it was real. That she was really leaving him for good. Any other woman would've stayed and endured the long haul of his divorce, but not Sugar.

He replayed that day in his mind, so pleased that he was able to act like he wasn't in love with another woman playing with his daughter and son in front of his dysfunctional wife. They were so toxic together whenever it came to the children or trying to agree on anything. He was grateful that Marina didn't see the physical violence, and when Colin brought her back, Erik drove Calista's car and took them all home with Colin following them to make sure that nothing else happened. Calista sat in the passenger seat of her BMW and cried while Marina whimpered in the backseat, and Deuce stewed in his own funk of wanting to live with him.

Back in La Jolla, the children went to their rooms as Colin sat on Calista's couch watching Erik circle his wife who was clearly having a mental breakdown with the thought of Deuce leaving her home. The woman spoke of her fears, but she directed them at Colin, trying to gain sympathy for her side. Colin was able to convince her to at least allow Deuce to stay with Erik for the rest of the summer. Perhaps the boy would change his mind and want to stay in school in La Jolla.

"Let me think about it," she whispered, sitting on a loveseat and wiping her red eyes.

Erik was exhausted, but the light had finally come to lead him from the darkness.

He ran his fingers over the divorce decree on his desk.

He was a free man. Finally.

When his lawyer called to tell him to expect the decree in the mail, he cried. He sat on his bedroom balcony and cried like a baby. Erik wanted to call Sugar and tell her, but she was on the other side of the world doing a photoshoot for Maverick Innovative Sports in Tahiti. There was also another problem. She had a new boyfriend. A professional French tennis player with a Black American father and a French mother. Colin showed him the pictures of them together in France. Maverick's Headquarters was located there and the man, Alexandre Claude-Serres, was a French citizen and also sponsored by the Maverick Innovative Sports brand.

Erik looked at the picture and tried to figure out what attracted her to the twenty-eight-year-old with the wavy black curls and European flair in his dress. Money upped Sugar's wardrobe and Erik's eyes stared at the slit in her dress that went up to her thigh. He could tell she wasn't wearing underwear, and he closed his eyes thinking about the time they made love. His body grew tense thinking about some other man between her thighs. When he had her, when he was deep inside of her, the sound of her voice in his ear made him weak with lust. The feel of her getting wetter around his dick had his skin crawling with desire. He needed her touch. He needed her back with him. He was free to love her the way she deserved it but now she belonged to someone else. It burned acid in his belly. Was that man sticking his face at her apex at that moment? Licking his tongue on her jeweled clit making her cum in his mouth? That nigga was probably talking all that fancy French shit while she threw that perky little ass back—

Erik slammed his fist on his desk at the thought. Why did she have to come into his life and entice him with real happiness only to run off to live in France?

It was his own fault.

He knew this. He didn't wait when he should've. He made promises he couldn't keep because of the delicate nature of Calista.

Stop it.

He tapped his left wrist to focus on facts. It was something his new therapist was helping him to do. No more coddling Calista.

A week after Marina's birthday Erik was convinced by Colin to seek divorce counseling and therapy. Erik had to finally see what he had blindly ignored for years. Calista was unwell. Had been long before he met her. During their counseling sessions, they were both advised to seek the help of a therapist. Calista was found to be clinically depressed. Their therapy sessions together were to help guide them both through the divorce for themselves and their children. Erik wanted the children in therapy too, but Calista fought him on that, afraid of the stigma attached to it. Her being mentally unwell was all she wanted them to focus on. Erik disagreed and sought out the best child therapist in La Jolla. The children had their own sessions once a week, and a group session with him. Calista refused to join them.

It took Erik three different therapists to find the best one for himself. A Black woman with a downtown office near Petco Park and the Padres baseball stadium. She was in her forties with full features that reminded him of his mother and dark brown hair she had cut in a slick bob. Her kind brown eyes broke him and Erik spent his very first session with her crying for the full fifty-five minutes. The woman, Dr. Bonita Wright, held his hand while passing him tissues as his release wracked his body.

"I don't even know why I'm crying, I haven't even said anything" he lamented as hot tears coursed down his cheeks.

"Your body does. You are safe here, Erik."

He cried for thirty-five minutes during his second session. By his third, he was able to talk more and cry a little less. The tears never went away fully. He upped his session twice a week, and he revealed things to her that he wasn't ready to share with anyone else. The first lesson he had to learn with Dr. Wright's help was to let go. Let go of the mother of his children because she was killing him spiritually and mentally. His guilt over her pain, even though he had tuned it out as much as he could, made him stay with her. He was so afraid that she would harm herself if he left her, and he didn't want the responsibility of her doing that in front of his children. It was just easier to live a separate life with her where he could be with his kids and keep an eye on her. He didn't realize he was doing this until he talked it through with the therapist. He didn't want to be blamed for her erratic choices if she did harm herself if he left her. The legal separation was just his attempt at prolonging his fears.

Erik didn't think Calista would harm their children. She was a good mother with the support of the extra caretakers he provided for them. The housekeepers, the two nannies, and the weekly co-parenting schedule kept his children under a watchful eye. Just in case. That "just in case" fear paralyzed him into inaction when it came to Calista. He was learning to put a stop to it.

Now that they were divorced, he was free to decide what he wanted for his kids. What he wanted now was full custody. But he would tread lightly. The first victory was divorce. He would let Deuce finish out his eighth-grade year in La Jolla. But the following year he was going to have his son and daughter with him permanently. Thus far, Calista was handling their new legal status.

"Look what I found at home!"

Erik's sister Yvette walked into his office with a printed photo in her hand. He took it from her and started laughing when he saw it. Yvette's light brown face beamed with nostalgia. Loose braids touched her shoulders.

"Damn. I ain't had that much hair in a minute," he said.

"You did in college,"

"I had locs then."

"You should bring back the afro. It looked good on you."

"Not this big."

He was fourteen in the photo and had taken out his cornrows to wash the giant puff of hair staring back at him.

"You okay in here? Been kinda quiet."

"I'm good," he said.

"Your chef said lunch is ready. Ryan went to get your dry cleaning. I like her."

"She's good. Been working for me since…hmmm…since Marina was five."

Yvette saw his divorce papers on the table and her eyes danced across his laptop screen.

"Is that her?" Yvette asked.

"Yeah."

"She's gorgeous. Are you still mentoring her?"

"No, she has a new coach."

"But you're the best baby brother. She's a dummy not to keep you."

Erik glanced at his sister's face. She had no clue about his real relationship with Sugar. She only saw the interviews he did talking about Sugar's skills.

"She's in good hands, I don't have time for her anyway."

"What's she like?"

"She's cool."

"She has this flair about her. Makes me want to watch surfing now."

"So I bored you all these years?"

"No. It's just…she's this gorgeous Black woman in the surf world being all amazing. It feels like when the Williams sisters were starting out just whooping everybody. It's nice to see a talented Black woman on the come up. Is she tall? She looks tall."

"She's tall."

"Look at that dress. Is she wearing a g-string with that thing? I mean, it's right up there at the gap…what?"

"Are you done?"

"Sorry. I can't help it…why are you looking at her photos?"

"Catching up with her. Seeing how she's doing."

"Doing damn good. Is that her man?"

Erik felt a knot in his stomach.

"Yeah."

"He's that tennis player, right? The one who threw his racquet at a judge?"

"Yep."

"Hot-head. If you played tennis that might be you."

She touched the divorce decree.

"Everything okay with this?"

"Yeah. I'm just glad it's done."

"Me too."

Yvette stared at him with an odd smile on her lips.

"What?"

"Now that you're single, why don't you come up to Oakland for Christmas. I can introduce you to some wonderful women….Black women…and maybe you'll hit the jackpot."

"I'm not interested in dating right now."

"Please, no more paparazzi snafus. Mama can't handle seeing you in naughty photos again. Do some real dating for once."

"Right now all I need is some alone time."

Erik put the divorce decree in a file cabinet behind him. He glanced at his left hand. The gold band that had choked his ring finger was gone. Tangible evidence that he was free.

Walking downstairs, his personal chef Dennis prepared chicken and waffles for him with a winter salad filled with beets and a spicy vinaigrette. He ate with Yvette as Ryan returned with his dry-cleaning. His personal assistant looked at his meal and the side of maple syrup and hot sauce he mixed together.

"Is syrup allowed with your meal plan?" she asked.

"He can have a small portion," Dennis said as he prepped Erik's dinner meal.

Ryan's nose scrunched up and she took his things upstairs to his office. She came back down and went into the room next to the family room that was her own office. The perks of having a small staff was freedom. Erik ate his meal worried about nothing but hitting the surf after he was done eating. And getting Sugar off of his mind.

That was damn near impossible since she was popping up everywhere.

###

Erik took off on his longboard and eased above a soft swell of water. He stood up on his board and lazily let the board just go straight with the flow of the wave. It was a good two hours session on the beach and he was ready to take a nap.

After rinsing his board outside, he climbed up the stairs to his bedroom and shut the door. Dennis left him a meal he could heat up on his own for dinner. Ryan was gone for the day and Yvette went to the movies. He had his house to himself and nowhere to go and nothing to do but sleep. Erik took a quick shower and then jumped on his bed and called his kids.

Speaking to them both for a half-hour, he asked them where they would like to go for Christmas after he came back from the Billabong Pros in mid-December. Calista would have them for thanksgiving in Aspen with her parents the following week. There was talk of Disneyworld. EuroDisney. Hawaii. His own parents would be on a Christmas cruise with everyone except Yvette who was living with him for the next two months as she looked for a job in San Diego. Erik had asked for her to live near him to help him with his children. He was putting plans into place to have domestic support for when he went after full custody. Yvette was down for helping him.

"We talked to Sugar today, Daddy," Marina said.

"Oh yeah?" Erik said. He tried to keep his voice neutral.

"She sent us some souvenirs from France," Deuce said.

His son still worked for Cedro on the weekends, so there was still some contact with Sugar's people. Even Erik went in for an occasional taco, and her parents were kind to him and treated him like a regular human being. He saw all the new pictures of Sugar and her wins on the restaurant walls. Sugar's mother would look at him sometimes with a strange look on her face, almost a sadness, and he wasn't sure what she was seeing in him when she did that. Sometimes she sat with him if she were there as he ate and they would talk about one of Sugar's performances and she would pump him for advice. He'd give it and feel so odd afterward.

"What did she send?"

"I have a gold necklace with the Eiffel Tower on it. Deuce has a book."

"A book?"

"It's an art book, Dad."

"That's cool. How is she doing? I've been busy lately so I haven't had time to catch up with her."

"She's good. Her boyfriend lost in the semi-finals," Deuce said.

Good.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. A least he didn't yell at anyone this time."

"Can we go to France to see Sugar?" Marina asked.

"She's busy, baby girl—"

"She's coming back here," Deuce said.

Erik sat up on the bed.

"When?"

"Right before Christmas. She said she's taking a break and not competing in December."

"That's smart. She needs to give her body a rest. How is your Mom?"

"Good. She went to some high tea thing today with her friends."

"How was your therapy this week?"

"Okay," Deuce said.

"Fine," Marina said.

"How long do we have to keep going? You and Mom are divorced now. Things are good," Deuce said.

"I'll talk to Dr. Yates and see what the next course of action should be. Do you guys want to do just group sessions with us?"

"No," Deuce said.

"Marina?"

"I'd rather just hang out with you, Daddy," she said.

"Alright, I'll figure out what we'll do. See you two soon."

He turned his cell to vibrate and was about to put it on his nightstand when it buzzed in his hand. A long number popped up with a text message. Erik swiped the message and saw a video attachment.

You were a bad boy at the semi-final. So you don't get to have any of this as punishment. See you later!

He hit the video.

A shaky cell phone shot soon revealed Sugar driving in a car. She pulled over and turned off the engine. Looking around, she pulled up her skirt to reveal her very naked and very clean-shaven mound. She mounted the camera on the dash and angled it so that she was in full-body view. Raising her legs and widening them, she played with her pussy lips. Erik felt saliva gather in his mouth as he watched her play with her folds. Her eyes darted around again to look through the car windows, and then those dreamy brown orbs were staring at the cell again as she massaged her clit. Her clit piercing sparkled and she began to pant.

"See what you don't get, Alex? Bad boys don't get good pussy. Look how wet I'm getting…"

"Fuck!" Erik yelped. He felt his dick throbbing and watched it swell on his thigh.

Sugar patted her pussy and spread her folds open and Erik could see her wet pink glistening. She licked her fingers to make her pussy wetter. Dipping two fingers inside of herself, she wiggled her digits as her face took on a pinched look of pleasure.

"You want to put your dick deep inside there, huh, baby?"

Erik groaned and grabbed his erection. It was so full and so rigid in his hand. He stroked once and was glad no one was in the house to hear him shout her name as precum bubbled up on his tip. Sugar's vulva swelled and he could see her folds flowering open on its own, her sweet nectar spilling out making her fingers glossy.

"Damn, I can hear your pussy!" he shouted.

He beat his meat hard, shocked at how quickly he drowned in her voice and her image. That was his woman on the other side of the world playing with her pussy for another man. Anger mixed in with his desire for her and thoughts of pounding his dick in her pussy swam in his head. If she were there with him he would've taken one of his thick belts and spanked her silly across his lap before fucking her until she cried out her orgasm.

Her fingers flicked across her clit and her nub was so fat that she could barely put full pressure on it. The hood had pulled back and he knew she was on her way when he saw that. Sugar rested her three middle fingers on the top of her clit and rubbed furiously. Slick wetness poured out of her and Erik watched it pool below that perfect little ass of hers. Her pink tunnel was on full display, throbbing after each flick of her fingers. Even her asshole puckered and throbbed in unison as she got closer to her full orgasm.

"Yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…"

"Oh, fuck me!"

When she did that constant pant of "yeah" in that high whiny passionate way of hers, Erik stroked himself harder and faster chasing a huge nut. Sugar had been the last woman he had been with and seeing her pretty pussy act up all nasty like that had him moaning loud and begging her to keep playing with herself. He was so close. He wanted to ejaculate all over her.

Sugar's mouth puckered tight as she lifted her legs higher.

"I'm going to cum!" she cried out.

Her fingers were a blur on her sensitive clit and her juicy pussy just winked open and closed as she raced toward her release.

"Baby, you should be in my bed with me!" Erik shouted as his dick erupted all over his stomach.

"I'm cummingggggggg!" she screamed.

Her pussy spasmed hard, the contractions making her opening spurt more sticky fluid. She squirted a tiny bit as her body jerked about. Her eyes snapped shut and her mouth fell open as unintelligible sounds of her pleasure escaped.

A second wave of semen spurted onto his chest and he kept fisting himself watching her wet pussy open and close. She slumped into her car seat as her fingers fell away from that slick heat that taunted his dick. He jerked out the last of his hot load and stared down at the mess she made him do all over himself.

Erik fingered the cum on his hand and watched her revive a bit. She looked around again then pulled down her skirt. Her wet fingers fumbled with the cell phone and the footage ended. He fell back on his bed sweaty, hot, bothered, and craving more. He marveled at what just happened.

She had no idea she had made a mistake and sent the video to him and not her new lover. He was going to keep the video a secret for himself, but then he worried she might make the same mistake again. Maybe even send it to someone else who wouldn't appreciate exceptional pussy in their inbox.

His fingers typed on his cell screen.

I don't think this was meant for me. You need to be careful where you send personal things like this. E.

He shot the text off to her and debated about keeping the video. When his body revived, he watched the video again and jerked off even harder, cumming all over his floor as he called Sugar all kinds of dirty names, imagining himself nutting in her mouth and nutting into her pussy raw. What would it feel like to have the full throbbing of her walls all over his unsheathed thickness? As good as her pussy was with a thin condom on, he knew he would probably get her pregnant if he spilled into her womb feeling as good as he did right then. He deleted the video even though he wanted to keep it for later use.

His children said she was returning to San Diego for Christmas. He had to see her then. After four months of separation and no contact at all, Erik had to see Sugar. He didn't even care if her boyfriend came with her, he was determined to lay eyes on her. He still loved her, no matter if she had moved on. Erik had to let her know his heart still belonged to her.

###

Sabine felt flirty and sated as she rode the elevator in her boyfriend's apartment building. The concierge at the front desk waved to her. Alexandre said the older gentleman had been the caretaker of that building for over thirty years. He had a bit of a crush on Sabine and she delighted in making him feel good by practicing her rudimentary French on him while he did the same with his English.

She entered the luxury apartment and was disappointed that Alexandre hadn't returned yet. He was probably commiserating with his French crew about his loss late into the night. She hoped sending him a naughty video would lift his spirits so he could lay that French pipe on her.

There were leftovers in the fridge and she made herself an omelet and drank a good red wine that she dipped a piece of French bread into. It was a habit she cultivated from Alexandre's mother. She sometimes mixed olive oil with red wine as a dipping sauce for bread. It was different and Sabine kinda liked it.

What she didn't like was the bad press her boyfriend was getting by her being with him. Apparently, he had been a popular and much-beloved bachelor in the tennis world until they met during a commercial shoot for Maverick Innovative Sports. Jean Fouche plopped down a cool quarter of a million for her services as their brand ambassador just for signing. And just like that, Sabine was in a whole new tax bracket. Maverick was that bitch, and Sabine knew it was a smart move to go exclusive with them. She was one of the few women signed to them for surfing and when she stepped on set to film her part in the brand's new campaign roll out commercial, Alexandre was present and their connection was instant. French women everywhere hated her right then and there. Who was she to sweep into their country and snag their most popular export? Sugar Bennett of course.

Belly content, Sabine went into the wide-open living room with a view of the lit-up Eiffel Tower and turned on the TV. She grabbed her phone to check for Alexandre when she saw a text.

She read it.

Then read it again.

Sabine read it a third time and felt heart palpitations thump in her chest.

The video went to the wrong person. Not just any wrong person, but the worst wrong person.

Erik.

What the fuck had she done?


	27. You Know That I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik gets ready for the Pipeline Masters. Sugar deals with a spoiled boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Readers!
> 
> There will be a book two to this AU! It's called "Beyond The Waves". Look for it after this book finishes.

"It's been such a long time  
Since I've been with you  
My friends say I should play around  
They just can't figure out what I found in you

You know I'm not that other guy  
Who broke your heart  
You're still the only one in my, my world  
Even when we're apart

You know that I love you  
Girl, you're everything to me  
Just let me show you  
Just how much you mean to me"

Donell Jones—"You Know That I Love You"

Erik was tired.

The flight into Daniel K. Inouye International Airport in Honolulu was packed with tourists and plenty of pro surfers, many of whom Erik knew and greeted as he waited for his large board bag to come through a special section of the baggage claims. He brought over his two best shortboards and was eager to get to Colin's bungalow near the north shore. Erik had three boards stashed there all year round so he wouldn't have to lug over extra baggage. But he wanted to be prepared in case any of his boards broke. Colin had called him right before his flight over to warn him that the swells were outrageous this year and a lot of surfers were coming out of the water with dinged up boards and several snapped in two. It was reported to be an epic year at the Banzai Pipeline.

Erik had a lot on his mind besides the surf.

Calista met him for lunch at a favorite Korean eatery near UCSD and did the unexpected before he left town. She was preparing to check herself into a private and extremely expensive mental healthcare facility in Sedona, Arizona.

"Twelve weeks?" Erik said with an incredulous expression on his face.

Calista ate an antipasto salad with a glass of mineral water as she sat across from him.

"There's a special therapeutic program there that treats clinical depression with minimal medication. I need to do this Erik. I need to get away from California, go somewhere tranquil…peaceful."

"Are you sure about this? That's a long time to be away from Deuce and Marina."

"I know…"

Her eyes watered and she stopped eating. Putting down her fork, she dabbed her eyes with her napkin.

"I struggled with my decision, Erik. But for once, I just want to focus on me, just me. All I've ever been my whole life was Margie and Todd's pretty daughter and then I was Erik Steven's pretty wife, and Deuce and Marina's pretty mother…I just want to be me again. Just Calista."

"This is going to be hard on the kids."

"I have to do this. I've always let things just happen to me and for once I want to make a decision that gives me some agency. I would rather be away from our children for three months than be mentally gone from them for the rest of their lives. I need serious help and I found the place that can do it."

"Can you have visitors?"

"One weekend a month. It's a total immersion program with very little outside interference."

"When will you be leaving?"

"A few days before you come back from Hawaii. It would be good timing. You have the children for three weeks. Yvette is staying with you to help so she can keep them while you're away before their school vacation begins. Technically it'll be like I'm gone for only two months since you'll have them from December to mid-January anyway."

Calista dug into her Gucci handbag and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She slid it across the table to him. Erik picked it up and read it.

"I requested that the court give you temporary full custody of Deuce and Marina. That way if anything happens while I'm gone, there won't be a need to wait and get my permission for anything. You're a great Dad, Erik. Crappy husband, but a fully capable father."

She gave Erik a weak smile.

"This is a lot—"

"Please, Erik. If there was any other way I would do it, but I don't think I can get well enough to control my life here. I need to be in a place where no one knows me. I need solitude and peace. Some quiet me time. Give me this."

She dropped her head down and he saw her right hand shake as it rested near her salad plate. He slid his hand across the table and patted her fingers.

"I'll do it, but how will we tell the kids?"

She wiped her left eye and took a sip of water.

"I was thinking maybe going out for a family dinner with Yvette included. I would like to speak to Yvette first because it is a lot to take on, especially when you start traveling in January."

Erik sat back in his seat with his clam chowder soup untouched and growing cold. She wanted this. He wanted his children to have a healthy mother. The way she talked, the new language she used to explain herself and her needs without screaming or striking him, showed that her therapy was working. He could only imagine the torment she must've gone through to come up with the drastic decision to leave her children and travel to another state to seek more help for herself.

"The wave killer!"

Erik grabbed his large surf bag with his two boards inside from a baggage handler and turned to see Austin Nobles, the number one ranked surfer in the world. Severe buzzed cut dark hair and deeply tanned, Austin held out his hand. Erik shook it.

"All the big guns are coming out this year," Austin said.

Erik liked Austin, had partied with him enough times to know that the man was nervous about dropping in ranks if he didn't do well at the Pipeline. He was also correct about the big guns coming out. Slater. Beltran. Zuniga. Gomez-Johnson. Kurosawa. Killmonger.

"What hotel are you staying at?" Austin asked.

"I'm crashing at a friend's."

"I was going to see if you wanted to ride-share."

Erik's eyes looked beyond Austin and saw Colin walking up.

"Ready?" Colin asked.

"Ryan's in the restroom and I still need to get my suitcase."

"Colin, long time no see," Austin said.

"Oh snap, Mr. Numero Uno is in the house!"

The two men shook hands and Erik walked over to the baggage carousel and snatched up his large green hard case. Ryan found them rolling her own suitcase. Colin grabbed a baggage cart for them.

"Hey Ryan, good to see you," Colin said giving her a hug.

"Good to be here again."

"We'll drop Ryan off at her spot and then we can go check out some waves," Colin said.

The three of them left Austin to wait for his luggage as they zig-zagged through the crowd. Colin helped Erik tie his boards on top of his Range Rover as Ryan put their luggage in the trunk. It was in the high 70s and Erik rolled the windows down in Colin's car. Trekking over to Ryan's hotel, Erik rolled her bag into the lobby and checked her in for the duration of the competition. Two weeks if he made it to the finals. He could save a pretty penny having his assistant housed where he was in Colin's house, but the possible debauchery Colin could get into there was not a scene Ryan needed to be around. Erik himself almost felt a tingle of the old dog in him as he took in a few of the women that caught his eye in the lobby near the concierge.

Once Ryan was checked in and heading up to her room, Erik made a beeline to the Starbucks inside the lobby. Colin lingered over by the bar waiting for him and Erik's cell buzzed.

"Hey, Deuce."

"Hi, Dad. We got your message."

"Good, I'm with Uncle Colin now so we'll be heading to his house."

"Marina wants to talk to you…"

He heard the shuffling of the phone.

"Hi, Daddy!"

"Hey, baby girl. I made it over here safe."

"Can you bring me back a Hawaiian Barbie?"

"I could've gotten you one while I was home—"

"No, I want it from there so it'll really be Hawaiian."

"Okay, I'll pick one up. Does Deuce want anything?"

"He doesn't."

Erik chatted with them both and checked in with their feelings about Calista leaving before he returned home. They were surprisingly calm about it. Deuce was very pragmatic after he had time to think about it. He was happy that Calista was feeling good about herself and that she wasn't hovering over him like a helicopter. Erik still wasn't sure about Marina. His daughter asked her mother a lot of questions and needed reassurance that Erik would take them to visit her one weekend each month. Marina even marked it on her bedroom wall calendar so she could see it decorated with the colored pens that Sugar bought her for her birthday. Seeing the dates marked openly seemed to let his daughter ease into the major change in their life. They would be with Daddy for three months. Their home life together in Erik's house was structured around the needs of everyone instead of just the regimented and controlled dictatorship of Calista.

Erik raised his children the way his family was run and it gave him a sense of mastery over his life. He wanted that for his children. The back and forth between two households would stop and the children would have a life of very little disruption. Yvette was a godsend and he was blessed that his kids loved her and accepted her support in their new normal. There would be plenty of face chats and Calista did her best to be upbeat for Marina. He was looking forward to being with them for the long holiday season without stress. A first.

Erik poured two raw sugar packets into his coffee and headed to Colin who already had a serious drink in his hand from the bar.

"Damn, can't even wait until the evening?" Erik joked sipping his libation.

"I look forward to this every year. A little rum punch the moment you touch down and thoughts of fun, sun, and surf."

"Any excuse—"

Her full-throated laughter froze him.

Erik did a one-eighty and saw Sugar and her friend Girl Stacy posing for a photo from one of Billabong's professional event photographers. Both women had drinks in their hands and when the flash went off, Sugar's eyes caught Erik's, and the smile on her face went rigid.

He didn't know what to do.

It would be janky to just turn around and walk out, and they were too out in the open for him to pretend that he didn't see her. The shock in her eyes flickered away and she gave them both a head nod and walked away to the back of the bar with her friend. He wondered if her mind went to the masturbation video she sent on accident. Erik's mind did the moment he saw the sultry smile on her face after the flashbulb went off.

"Breathe, nigga," Colin said.

When Erik looked at Colin, they both started laughing.

"What are the chances?" Erik asked.

His eyes tracked her movement as she and her friend mingled with all the pros and big brand execs. Erik saw no signs of the French boyfriend. Sugar was dressed casual-chic

"Some fated shit, man. For reals though, you good?"

"I'm good."

"You want to talk to her?"

Erik scrunched up his face. He felt unsure and off his game.

"Let's go then," Colin said finishing up his drink fast.

"Why would she be here for the Men's Championship Tour?"

Colin pointed to the fancy royal purple and silver banner over the lobby door exit.

"Maverick is sponsoring a ton of events this year. She's on that team. Probably has to make some appearances on their behalf. Yo, you sure you're okay? We can go back in there if you want to talk to her."

"Do you want to talk to her?"

"Me and Sugar are good. I spoke to her last week."

"About?"

"Coaches in Europe…places to live in L.A."

"She's moving to L.A.?"

Colin shrugged.

"She just asked about different areas up there and where I used to live."

Back in Colin's car, they listened to surf reports and weather predictions, but Erik could barely focus on any of that. Sugar looked so happy. He was happy for her, but the radiance he saw there made him feel disappointed in himself. He wasn't the cause of that happiness.

Seeing her had him bothered. He had an entirely different scenario in his head planned out in which he would run into her back in San Diego at her parent's taco shop, perhaps a chance encounter when he picked up Deuce from work. That went out the window.

Arriving at Colin's place, Erik showered and immediately went to the Billabong website to check for photos and events that would be happening around the island during the competition. He soon grabbed a beer from Colin's fridge and paced the tranquil living room with the cheap rattan furniture. The house was once owned by Colin's great-grandfather when he was stationed at Pearl Harbor. After the war, Colin's granddad returned to Hawaii and worked at a hotel, raising a family until Colin's grandfather went to college on the mainland at UCLA. The small home was kept in the family by hook and crook to own property that escalated in price over the years. It was passed down to Colin and became the hub of the Black male surf clique that he and Erik cultivated over the years.

Erik's phone was already blowing up with their friends giving updates on their arrival. There would be parties and women and zany good times, but the annual excitement was dampened with the new life Erik had. He was single, but in love with a woman that moved in the opposite direction when she saw him. He felt depressed. Erik's nerves were frazzled by her beauty. There were pictures that he kept of her from their time together in San Onofre, even a few nude photos. He looked at them from time to time and there was an innocence to them. The pre-fame innocence.

When his eyes rested on her at the bar…good God. Sugar had always had a confidence about her. He had witnessed her diving off a punk stage and crowd surf on top of hundreds of people. He watched her carve waves like she was sculpting art. But the Sugar that eyed him that day was a whole new woman. Living in France, winning big so quickly, and living up to the potential he saw in her had changed her for the better. He was smitten all over again. Images of her whimpering in that car with her fingers shiny with sticky lady honey had him twisted up and feening for her.

"You don't look good," Colin said pulling off the cap of the beer he pulled from his fridge.

"Sugar…she got me feeling…I dunno bruh, Ma is messing me up."

Colin smirked.

"This is interesting. I have never seen you like this. Over a woman? The girl is bad though. Call her."

"She wouldn't even talk to me at the bar. She won't take a call from me."

"We have two weeks to enjoy ourselves. She's here and it's clear that we'll see her again."

Erik nodded and walked outside onto the old porch and took a deep breath. Colin joined him and they stood in silence watching the large waves on the North Shore.

"You ready for all that?" Colin asked.

"I believe so. You?"

"Spent some time out there today with the jetski. We'll be putting in some hard work doing patrols for you guys."

Erik's phone rattled his back pocket.

"Can we talk?"

Sugar.

###

Sabine was learning quickly that having an exclusive sponsor meant they owned her. She was compensated very well, but she was also on a tight schedule with Maverick Innovate Sports. Being the new face of the hottest international brand in the world put her in a higher status and she had to conduct everything like a true professional while also trying to remain true to herself. Having Girl Stacy with her made the transition easier. Having a close friend that knew her since grade school helped her navigate the folks that tried to gas her up just so they could snag onto her coattails. She hired Stacy as her personal assistant and it was a relief to have someone else handle all the business details that she didn't want to deal with anymore. Booking flights, handling correspondence via phone or email, scheduling appointments, and dealing with the outside world that was chomping at the bit trying to get next to her. Maverick had her writing a monthly surf blog and also an Ask and Answer column for groms. Sabine liked answering beginner surf questions for little kid surfers. It was hard for her to keep up with blog entries with all of her travel, so she began to mix in her marine biology background to talk about environmental issues that she championed.

There was pressure to continue performing at a high level and winning big every time she went out. It wasn't good enough to place high, she had to be in the top three every time she competed. This was her personal standard. She still had to gain qualifying points to move her up in ranks, and she was hoping to be asked onto the Championship Tour by the end of the following year. Belmira would start her full-fledged Champion tour circuit in January and Sabine would no longer see her at the qualifying series unless Belmira chose to do it.

Quiet as it was kept, there was the beginning of friction in their friendship. Belmira had been touted as the wunderkind until Sabine came out full speed. She could feel the tension in their conversations. Their last meeting in Japan was cool but less playful. Belmira was the one true honest friend Sabine had out there among the pros. She hated that her winning streak was making her bestie step back from her. She tried talking openly about this with Belmira, but the woman denied being concerned or even jealous.

Sugar sat down with her mother on a face chat and made a list of goals that she wanted to accomplish outside of the surf world. She was already doing a few commercials, bagged a music video with a Grammy-winning singer, and Jean Fouche spoke to her about doing a future line of swimsuits and beachwear based on her personal style. It was a carrot that was dangled in front of her once she made it to the Championship Tour. Sugar took Erik's career into consideration and her mother was on board with her following his path. She looked for other lucrative ventures within surfing and outside of it to create longevity. Surfers had to retire one day from competing. Sabine wanted to milk it for all that it was worth. Her mother spent time researching opportunities for her.

It was dizzying trying to keep up with the lifestyle now and she was so grateful for Stacy being by her side.

Maverick wanted her to be in Oahu for the Pipeline Masters to be seen. They didn't want her to be viewed as a female surfer and just show up for the women's events. Jean Fouche felt she was on par with many men, if not better. His dream was to one day have his own competition that was open to all competitors, male, female, or whoever, to compete against each other. His vision for sports was in line with what she wanted: equity, respect for what women brought to the game, and elevating non-white pros. Sabine was all for it. The man was blunt, passionate, and very alpha when it came to her. They already had one of the best female surfers in the world on their roster, Tara Hodges from Australia, and the best female big wave surfer, Kelani Tisdale. Both of those women had been with Maverick for about six years, but Jean was pulling out all the stops for Sugar. Major ad campaigns in sports media, a few talk show interviews at major outlets, appearances at global charities that the company supported. Sugar clocked so many Delta miles that she joked about it on The View. Before she knew it, Delta had contacted Maverick and she would begin a promotional campaign after the holidays.

Be careful what you wish for.

It was scary. Everything she wished for came to fruition and more. Dream career. Money to match the lifestyle she wanted. A one-time dreamy boyfriend.

Alexandre.

After the sex video fiasco, she waited for Alex to come home after his bad-boy behavior on a French tennis court. He didn't come home until the next morning worrying Sugar out of her mind. He was angry with himself and spent the next day fielding calls from Maverick execs and his mother. The man ignored her and her attempts to get some physical attention. She sent him the video, making sure it was his number it went to, and he watched it with amusement. When he finally gave her some dick, he couldn't sustain an erection, so worried that he would be dropped by Maverick.

She had her legs wide open, pussy juicy, and needing her walls wrecked, but he gave her some pitiful pumps before his shaft went flaccid. He ate her out and the orgasm that glossed his lips with her slick only came because her mind was on Erik. How did he react when he saw her playing with her folds? Alex's tongue darted in and out of her throbbing slit, but her back only arched up when she imagined Erik's heavy dick beating down her gushy path to glory. She almost shouted Killmonger's name as her fingers rubbed intense circles on her needy clit.

When Alex rolled off of her and fell asleep, she pulled out a thick dark brown dildo that she purchased at a French sex shop that came close to looking like Erik's dick, fake veins and all. Sugar wore out her love canal, bold enough to get on her hands and knees, sucking on her pillowcase as she thrust the dildo between her legs. Alex slept through it the whole time with his limp pale dick resting on his balls. She whined into her pillow thinking of Erik hitting backshots. It was terrible. Cumming to the memory of a man who broke her heart. Her walls clenched on that latex dick so hard that she bit into her pillow trying to stifle another scream. Her entire body shuddered from the aftershocks of her release.

Taking a shower afterward, she read Erik's text again before deleting it. Her stomach was twisted up for days just stressing over her embarrassment. But that feeling left quickly over the next few days when Alexandre's behavior turned erratic.

The bad publicity over his run-in with the tennis judge brought him negative social media press inside and outside the sport. Her boyfriend tried to use the excuse that other white male tennis pros acted the same way and didn't get the treatment he did because he was Black. Sabine felt there was a kernel of truth to that, but Alexandre was not some sweet good-natured dudebro. He had the rep as a bad boy for a reason. He did bad shit. A lot. At first, Sabine saw it as being assertive and confident in his abilities, but as their whirlwind relationship settled in, she began to see that her boyfriend was a spoiled entitled brat. A pretty boy raised to believe he was special.

When Sabine met his mother, she saw a beautiful and cultured white French woman with style and pride in being the mother of a popular professional athlete. But his father…

Sabine had never met a more self-hating Black man in her life. Matthew Cook was a retired army Captain and an ex-pat who filled Alexandre with horror stories about Black Americans. Alexandre admitted to her that when he brought her to meet his parents on their fourth date at a public event, his father was disappointed that he was with a dark-skinned Black woman. One from America no less. Sabine couldn't figure out why a white woman like Amelie would marry a bore like Matthew. They doted on their son, and Sabine saw how coddled and enabled Alexandre was. She also saw how his spoiled home life didn't serve him in the real world when Maverick execs dragged him to the mat about his behavior on the courts and around the world.

Fans who hated Sabine being with him began to blame her for how he acted, claiming that he was more hot-headed since he got with her. She started wearing dark glasses and hoodies when she went out in public trying to avoid Alexandre's fans. Paris was small and Sabine stood out. She was also unaccustomed to being with someone famous publicly and she quickly became a target for irrational tennis fans.

She came back to Alexandre's apartment one rainy day to find him in a horrible mood. Maverick had dropped him. The negative publicity was bad for their brand.

"Alex! Baby!" she said giving him a big hug.

He shoved her away. Sabine stared at him. She sniffed his body odor. He stunk of liquor, cigarettes, and the cologne she bought for him. It was the same expensive cologne that Killmonger wore. It didn't smell the same on Alexandre. The odor was sour on his skin.

"Everyone told me to stay away from you, but I didn't listen…"

"What are you talking about?"

"I've lost my focus…my direction. Wasting time with you took me off my game, Sabine—"

"Wasting time? What the fuck are you saying? Trying to blame me—"

"Hey! What's going on here?"

Matthew and Amelie walked out of Alexandre's kitchen.

"He's blaming me for Maverick dropping him!"

Sabine felt pressure behind her eyes and fire in her throat. She'd be damned if he blamed her for his fuck ups.

"Come Sabine, have some wine and we can all sit and talk about this," Amelie said trying to guide her away from Alexandre.

Sabine followed the woman and grabbed a wine glass where Amelie filled it with a light red wine.

"He's upset, just ignore him when he's like this," the woman whispered.

Sabine sipped her wine and Alexandre stormed in, still heated in the face.

"I can speak for myself," he shouted and Amelie held up her hand and walked out of the kitchen. Sabine could hear Matthew fussing with Amelie and agreeing with her boyfriend's behavior.

"You need to call Jean and fix this for me!"

"Me?"

"Yes! You're his favorite little star now, maybe shake that ass of yours for him—"

"What are you implying?"

"He likes them young and sexy, or have you not noticed that?"

"Fuck you, Alexandre. You know our contracts have morality and behavior clauses and if Maverick feels that you crossed the line, they can drop you. It sucks, but it is what it is. I feel terrible for you, but I have no control over bringing you back. You have to act better and start winning like me—"

"I am the big loser and the great Sugar Bennett is the protected winner."

"Why are you trying to fight me? I'm supporting you. I came all the way over here in the rain from taking a nap in my own apartment to be with you right now."

"I don't need you!"

His face was red and sweaty from drinking too much.

"Fine. Act like a spoiled brat by yourself. Let your parents baby you—"

The punch struck the right side of her cheek and knocked her against the stove. Sabine reached out to catch her balance and the pain radiated all throughout her face. She cried out and grabbed for her injured cheek. Staring at Alexandre with water in her right eye, Sabine heard his parents run into the kitchen to see what all the loud commotion was.

Sabine reached for the empty skillet on the stove and swung it hard, landing solid contact on the side of Alexandre's head making him stumble and fall to the floor. He clutched at his head and Sabine saw that she had split his scalp. Blood flowed through his fingers. Amelie shrieked dropping to her knees and pressing her hand on her son's hand to add more pressure. Matthew lunged for her and Sabine smacked him in the face with the pan. She ran out of the kitchen and grabbed her purse.

"Fuck you Alexandre!"

Sabine rushed out of the apartment and ran a full seven blocks in a downpour before she realized she still had the skillet in her hand as her cheek stung with so much pain. She hid in her Paris apartment for a week before she was flown out to Hawaii.

With Stacy's help, she used great make-up to hide the bruising on her cheek. She kept the attack quiet. Only Stacy knew what Alexandre had done. On the flight over to Honolulu, Sabine fretted about Alexandre using the private video she made for him against her. She also worried that he would use Maverick against her for busting his head open to the white meat.

Sharing a drink with Stacy in the hotel bar and serving good face for pictures, her heart jumped in her throat when she saw Erik and Colin. She almost lost her breath looking at Killmonger. He looked startled too.

Sabine walked to the back of the bar hoping he wouldn't follow her.

"Do you want to go to our room?" Stacy asked.

"No…it looks like he left with Colin. God, I hope he's not staying here too."

"Everything's booked up, I can try to move us to a rental—"

"No. I would eventually run into him. I just wasn't ready right now."

Sabine mingled and made the rounds around the bar for another hour before she and Stacy went up to their suite and decompressed. She checked her social media and her texts. There were a ton of voicemail and texts from Alexandre begging forgiveness. She deleted them all.

Lying on her hotel bed she closed her eyes and replayed the anger she felt with Alexandre. He deserved what he got from Maverick. At least his French fans could have their spoiled star back. She was done with him.

A few hours went by. Stacy was fast asleep on her bed and Sabine left her and went down to the hotel restaurant to have a meal. She ate by herself far in the back, enjoying a nice ribeye with shrimp poppers. Her eyes checked the room for any sign of Erik again, but she soon relaxed once she had a few Tequila Sunrises. She touched her cheek. The bruising had faded enough where she didn't have to use too much makeup, but it still hurt occasionally. From now on, she was going to stay single and keep her eye on the prize: get invited to the Championship Tour.

Glancing around her spirits lifted from all the energy in the room. Surfers from around the world were there and there was a homecoming type of vibe that she picked up on. She took a big drink from her glass and pulled out her phone.

Get it over with.

Sugar pulled up Killmonger's number.

Taking a deep breath, she texted him. And waited.

###

Erik dressed comfortably and borrowed Colin's Range Rover to meet Sugar at a restaurant near her hotel. They communicated through text and agreed to have lunch together. He made plans to meet with his personal assistant Ryan afterward just in case things went left. He'd have a good excuse to leave if it did.

He gave the keys to the Rover to a valet and got caught halfway through the restaurant with some surfers he would compete with. He saw Sugar at their table and gave her a hand signal to give him a minute. He caught up with the two men, but his eyes kept checking for her. She stared at her cell phone and Erik made a graceful exit and went to her. He was happy the restaurant wasn't full.

"Hey," he said.

Her eyes seemed happy to see him and she stood up and gave him a hug. Her arms sat stiffly on his shoulders and he gave her a friendly pat on her back. They separated. Sugar's face was free of make-up and the cute jumper she had on was perfect for the weather. There was a new nose stud piercing on her and the earrings dangling from her ears cost serious money. She was enjoying her coins. He remembered those days when the flood of real cash started rolling in. He bought two cars and a condo, Cuban links, finger rings, chunky diamonds for his ears, and trinkets for the women he was fond of. Those were the days.

His eyes danced over her face again and he noticed a faint bit of bruising on her right cheek.

"What happened there?" he said.

"Smacked in the face with a board last week," she said with a forced chuckle.

Sugar's eyes fell away from his. She was lying. The timbre of her voice didn't sound right when she said it.

"Sugar?"

Her eyes looked up at him again.

"What happened to your face?"

Erik reached out and cradled her cheek.

"Talk to me."

Sugar's soft hand reached up and held his hand that touched her. Her eyes looked haunted and Erik felt the spark of dread in his stomach. He already knew what she was going to say because he had seen that look on her face on his own sister Yvette's before she left her husband. Erik didn't want the words to come out of Sugar's mouth but he braced himself for the inevitable.

"My boyfriend…"

Her eyes dropped from his and he saw the shame in them as they darted around to see if anyone was watching them. He reached down and held her hand.

"Tell me what happened."

"I don't want anyone to know…I feel so stupid…"

There was anger in her voice even as a whispery tear fell down her face. He pulled her in for a hug and her face rested against his cheek. He rocked her in his arms for a moment, then made her sit down.

"Tell me."

###

His jaw was tight.

Although Sugar tried to gloss over the punch that her boyfriend gave her, he could feel his own body going rigid with anger. She didn't want to linger there.

The restaurant grew more crowded and louder, and Sugar put on a cheery face for him as they talked about everything that had been happening to her on the qualifying tour. Not once did they speak of her video.

He glanced at his watch.

"You have to be somewhere?" she asked.

There was trepidation in her voice.

"I told Ryan I'd be by before four."

It was already three. They had been together for over three hours and it felt like only minutes had passed. The last hour of conversation had been about his children and Calista. When he finally told her he was divorced he saw something go off behind her bright brown eyes. Erik felt like she wanted to talk longer but he had business to handle that couldn't wait. He took a chance.

"You want to go out for dinner with me later?"

She glanced down at her phone.

"I'm meeting with Jean Fouche and the Maverick team. There's some fan service I have to do before the first heat tomorrow.

"Would you like to come by Colin's afterward? Check out the waves up close? I know he'd like to see you too. We're having a little soiree for some people. A little mixer with some of the competitors…"

Sugar's eyes flitted around the restaurant and her head tilted to the side. She was unsure.

"I'll text you the address. Bring Stacy and just drop in if you feel like it. It would be a relaxed atmosphere to talk to some of the bigwigs."

"I have you for that," she said with a soft smile.

"Jarrod Oakley is here, maybe we could do his videocast. I can set it up. He's been hounding me for months since Huntington Beach."

"I can do that. All pub is good pub."

"I'll hit him up then."

There was a long pregnant pause between them. He looked at his watch again and she jumped up from her seat.

"I don't want to hold you up."

She paid for the meal and he left a nice tip. She threw on sunglasses when they stepped outside near the valet stand. He gave her a ride back to the hotel and they walked in together passing the gift shop. He noticed a few dolls in the display window and stopped. Sugar stopped with him.

"Marina wants a Hawaiian Barbie doll. I promised her I'd bring one back."

She followed him into the shop and looked over a few items along with the dolls. They weren't Barbies, but they were cute. He snapped a picture of the dolls to send to Marina for her opinion.

"Get in this," he said holding his cell above their heads.

Sugar leaned in against him and he snapped a picture to send to his children.

"Thanks for the Paris gifts. They love what you bought them."

"I'm happy about that. It's hard finding stuff for kids who have everything."

"They don't have everything," he quipped.

She rolled her eyes and they both headed to the elevators. Erik felt good about the lunch and the time spent with her. It was strictly platonic and he was thrilled to be around her again.

Sugar's fingers tapped the elevator button and they waited to go up.

"Erik…I hope I didn't offend you with that video."

"I didn't think we were going to talk about that," he said. He couldn't hide the smile on his face.

She cringed and he loved how her nose crinkled.

"I deleted it. I enjoyed it, but I deleted it."

Glancing over at her, Erik felt like a truce had settled over them. They could maybe begin again as friends. He wanted her to know that his love for her was still there, but he didn't want to rock the boat. Not now when she was smiling by his side.

"Sugar!"

Erik glanced behind them and saw the French tennis player storming forward.

Sugar's head snapped in his direction and her fingers slammed on the elevator button again. It still had many floors to go before it made it to the lobby. She ran to the other elevator across from them and jammed her fingers on the call button.

"Wait! Sugar! I want to talk!"

She pushed away from Alexandre and ran to a door that led to the stairs. Her boyfriend was close on her heels.

Erik ran after them.


	28. Stickin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik deals with Sugar and Alexandre.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My plot outline requires me to make the book 35 chapters now so I don't cram everything into just 30 chapters and mess up the beats.

"And it's been obvious  
The signs were apparent but I stayed true 'cause I loved you  
Ain't no way that I'ma give up the fight  
But ain't no way that I'ma run a red light, yeah

Every step we take  
And every circle we go 'round  
Only leads us to another route

But you know I'll still be here stickin' with you  
I'll still be here stickin' with you  
Whether you lift me up  
Or whether you're takin' me down  
Baby, I'll still be here stickin' with you"

Sinead Harnett (feat. VanJess)– "Stickin'"

"Dégagez!"

Erik heard Sugar shouting as the heels of her purple boots echoed up the stairs. Her voice bounced down again with the shrill tinge of fear laced in it.

"Foutez le camp!" she screamed.

Erik took the stairs two at a time and when he caught up to them, Alexandre had lost his balance and fallen on the carpeted steps, his hand grasping for the back of Sugar's heel. She tried to keep her fingers on the handrail but lost her grip.

"Je veux te parler!" Alexandre yelled dragging her down and throwing her off balance.

"T'es un salaud!" she screamed.

Sugar fell on her backside and punched the man repeatedly in the face before Erik was able to grab Alexandre by the scruff of his neck and throw him down onto the flat open space of the landing.

"Laisse la tranquille!" Erik barked.

Erik placed himself in front of Sugar as she stood up. Alexandre raised himself up and Erik saw hard features and almost feral teeth peeking from his partially open lips. It was a dark, almost satanic look on the man's face.

"This doesn't concern you," Alexandre spat out as he pushed past Erik.

"She is my concern," Erik said dragging the man back.

Alexandre's eyes narrowed and he ignored Erik, stepping to the side so he could see Sugar better.

"Can we please go somewhere private?"

"Why did you even come here?" Sugar said.

"You've ignored me for days—"

"You punched me-!"

Erik shoved the man in the chest, moving him back against the landing wall. Alexandre pushed back and that was all Killmonger needed to wrap his hand around the man's throat and slam him hard against the wall. Erik's eyes darted around. They were lucky. No surveillance cameras.

"Listen to me good, little man. She don't want to talk to you. She don't want to see you. Take your bitch-made ass to the airport and fly back home. You don't want this. I promise you nigga! You don't want this work!"

Erik leaned in, bringing his face close to Alexandre's. The pressure on the man's windpipe had him turning red.

"Let go of me!"

Alexandre squirmed and clutched at Erik's hand for release.

He was so ready to choke the life out of the simp.

Erik took a breath to steady himself. Adrenalin coursed through him. Sugar approached them and dug her hand in Alexandre's pocket pulling out his cell phone.

"What's your password?!" she shouted.

Pissed off eyes glared at Sugar. Erik could see stitches on the man's scalp, his head wound from the skillet red and angry-looking. He eased his hand from the man's throat to allow more air in his body. Alexandre refused to answer her.

Sugar slapped him upside the head with his phone.

"Give me the goddamned password Alex!"

The man yelped with pain and tried shaking loose from Erik's hold.

"Let go of me!"

"Give her what she wants. This on you, son."

"Alex…password," she growled.

Alexandre closed his eyes.

"Let him go, Killmonger," Sugar whispered.

Erik released him, and Alexandre rubbed his throat while turning his head side to side.

"Alex?"

Sugar's voice grew impatient.

"SABINE, QUARTRE, HUIT, CINQ, CINQ, TROIS…"

Sabine typed what he said. The cell screen changed and Erik saw a photo of Sugar and her ex in a bathtub together covered in thick white bubbles and smiles as a screensaver. She swiped the image and scrolled through his phone.

"What are you doing?" Alexandre asked.

"You better not have uploaded that sex video anywhere else," she muttered.

Erik saw a look of satisfaction come across Sugar's face as she deleted several things on Alexandre's phone. When she was done, she slammed the cell against his chest.

"I don't want to see you ever again—"

"I made a mistake, mon amour—"

"We're done, Alex. You put hands on me and now you got that lump on your head."

She jabbed her finger against his head wound. He slapped at her hand and Erik jumped in his face.

"Try it," Erik said. The rumble in his voice made the man think twice.

"People make mistakes. I was drunk…upset… you can't give me a chance to make it up to you? You love me…"

Erik grew uncomfortable and more agitated.

"Time for you to go," Erik barked again.

"Sugar…you are my woman…come on…we've fought before—"

"You've hit her before?" Erik said putting his hand on Alexandre's chest.

"Fuck no!"

Erik turned toward Sugar.

"He ever lay a hand on you before?"

Sugar's eyes didn't meet his. Erik's hands balled up.

"Has he hit you before?"

"I've never-!"

Erik shoved Alexandre back up against the wall.

"No," she said.

"Tell me the truth—"

"That is the truth…get your fucking hands off me!" Alexandre yelled.

Erik threw him down and Alexandre stumbled along the steps.

"We're done here," Erik shouted down to the man.

Sugar rested her back against the wall and closed her eyes.

"Okay?" he asked.

She nodded.

Alexandre picked himself up from the steps and cursed at Sugar with a stream of French expletives that Erik couldn't keep up with. But Sugar did. She flew past him and jumped on Alexandre knocking him down to the next landing, her shoes stomping the fuck out of him. Erik hopped down the steps and pulled her off of him as her body flailed in his arms.

"Let me go!" she shouted.

Alexandre's eyes were full of shock and he shrank back from her arms windmilling and punching air trying to get at him. It was like trying to hold a snarling, claws-all-out alley cat.

"Sugar…you good…c'mon now!"

"Crazy bitch!" Alexandre screamed.

Sugar had knocked Alexandre's perfect curls out of place and there was a red bruise on his face. Erik carried Sugar up the stairs.

"Come near me again, nigga! I'll fuck you up!" Sugar shouted down, her voice bouncing of the walls.

Alexandre grumbled something in French and dragged himself down the stairs licking his wounds.

"Sugar! He's gone…girl, calm down!"

Erik started laughing as she tried wiggling out of his arms. He threw her over his shoulder and spanked her ass. She twisted in his grip and he spanked her again.

"I said stop!"

The bass in his voice made her go still.

"You gonna act right?"

She kept quiet. He spanked her again. Her ass bounced and he fought back a groan.

"Answer me."

"Yeah."

He let her down and she huffed and puffed like she was ready to run past him and throw hands once more. He nudged her against the wall.

"Calm down—"

"You calm down," she hissed. She pushed on his chest to force him to move out of her way. He wouldn't budge and crowded her.

"Too many people, Sugar. We don't want a scene. You want to get dropped by your sponsor too?"

Whatever was building up in her was bubbling over. She had it in for Alexandre.

"You want to fight me too?" he asked.

"Maybe," she snapped.

He cocked his head to the side. She pushed him again.

"It's over. Dead this shit, Ma—"

"Fucking prick," she spat.

"He's gone—"

She threw up her elbows to shove him back, but he held firm.

"Stop!" she said.

"You stop. Going after him is not the move—"

She elbowed his midsection and he spun her around and shoved her against the wall. He slammed his hands on the wall boxing her in.

"Don't be like him and act a fool in public over some bullshit. You deleted the video and whooped his ass. Let it go."

He could see and feel her breathing hard, her fists jammed against her chest. She thrust her ass back to push him away but he held still. The feel of those tight round cheeks rubbing against his dick made him thicken up.

"Fuck," he mumbled trying to keep his cool.

He pushed back into her to make her stop moving, forcing her waist flat against the wall. He pressed his body into her harder.

"You gonna stop?"

She wiggled her hips more and he gasped. His erection began to tent his dark joggers.

"Make me," she panted back.

Erik wrapped his left hand around the front of her throat and used his right hand to spank her. Full open-palmed smacks had her cheeks bouncing in her tight jumper. His hands alternated striking each of her ass cheeks and that smart mouth of hers stayed quiet only releasing passionate whimpers when he rubbed soothing circles on her backside. He starting spanking her up under her plump cheek meat, grazing her thighs as he allowed her to feel the power of his punishment for being a disobedient brat in a situation that could ruin her life. The more he struck her the harder his dick became until he was groaning while he spanked her.

"Dammit…dammit…!"

Sugar turned her face to the side and he watched her lips pout as her eyes took on a glassy faraway stare.

"…your fault…making me do this…fucking hard-headed…I tell you to do something I mean that shit…got my dick hard like this…the fuck is wrong witchu…"

"Oh…oh…oh…"

Her pants made his length throb in his pants. He glanced down at his tip straining against his joggers. There was a large wet spot. His pre-cum was bleeding through the cloth. So much for free-balling in his clothes. His hand moved further back to add some more power to his strikes and he squeezed her throat tighter, causing Sugar to squeeze her thighs together. When the force of his blow made her booty jiggle hard, her mouth flew open and her eyes rolled back.

She was cumming.

Her body shuddered against the wall and Erik kept his fingers splayed around her right ass cheek as her orgasm swept her away with intense pleasure. He eased the pressure around her neck and she slumped forward, losing her balance. He caught her and held her close to him.

"I got you," he whispered into her hair.

He couldn't hide his rigid length from her as she leaned into him. Her fingers brushed against it and when he tried moving his waist back, she gripped the bulbous tip and twisted all around the ridge.

"You don't know what you're doing, girl," he whispered in her ear.

He reached down and grabbed her wrist. Perspiration dotted his face and he could feel trickles sliding down his left temple. Her fingers squeezed and gently twisted his fat mushroom cap. Pre-cum oozed and spread on his pants. She slid her index finger all around the wet and sticky stain.

"I miss touching your dick…Daddy…"

"Oh fuck!" he groaned squeezing his eyes shut.

He had to get away from her.

Pushing back, he pried her hand from around his dick. She stepped forward and circled her fingers around his tip again and continued that seductive twisting and tugging. The lust he saw in her wet eyes made him lick his top lip.

"Sugar, stop. You 'gon make something happen that shouldn't. Not now…please…"

She ignored him, her fingers sliding up and down his stiff shaft. Erik threw his head back and whined deep his throat.

"Stop playing with me…you know I don't know how to act when you got me like this…ooh you little nasty slut…"

He rutted in her hand as her lips parted spilling soft pants of his nickname. She was determined to ruin him. His balls grew tight and he felt his erection stiffen with her rebellious ministrations.

"I wish I had a fucking belt, I'd beat your ass—"

"Like I'm beating this dick?"

Erik threw his head back.

"Fuck!"

He threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her face close.

A door slammed below them, but Sugar's hand didn't stop. Erik cocked his ear toward the sound but then another door slammed and there was silence once more. He rested his forehead against hers.

"Okay, we gotta stop before we get caught…"

She wouldn't and he gritted his teeth, tightening his hold on her hair.

"I'm 'bout to nut…"

"Yes, Daddy, nut in my hand…"

It was strange hearing her call him Daddy like that. She really had changed since he'd last been with her.

"Ah shit—"

He felt his face grimace like he was about to die of torture, and it was torture, the push and pull of not wanting to cum, but also wanting his dick to spit a thick hot load all over her. He dug his heels into the floor and thrust hard in her hand. She was in control and he was helpless to do anything about it. He didn't want to do anything about it. She was his Siren and like those doomed ancient mariners who followed enchanted women, Erik was going to follow her lead and crash his body against the dangerous rocky island of his desire for her.

"Sugar!" he yelped.

She stroked more of his shaft and his voice hitched in his throat.

"I'm 'bout to bust…Sugar…baby…baby…fuck…fuck…I'm nutting baby…oh fuck I'm nutting in my pants…goddamit bitch…! Shittttttt!"

Hips bucking, Erik clamped his teeth together to keep from shouting out to God as she milked his dick. He felt his thick jizz making a mess, soaking his pants completely. Sugar kept stroking him and pulled another heavy load out of him that drained his balls. His nutsack felt do depleted and the rest of him felt dehydrated and ready to fall on a plush bed to gain back his strength.

Her fingers slipped away from his crotch and he held her away from him by her shoulders. There was no way he could go up and see Ryan with cum dripping in his pants. Sugar's face looked like she wanted more from him. If they were in a hotel room, he would break her fucking back in two making her cream on his dick all night. Sweat fell in his eyes and he released her. She leaned up against the wall and those dark chocolate eyes of hers seduced him further. He broke eye contact.

"I gotta go…I gotta…"

His left hand fluttered around trying to grasp a thought.

"Fuck!"

Any and all articulation escaped him.

"I'll call Oakley and set up the videocast…"

His brain became mush again.

"Okay," she whispered.

"I'll text you details. I'ma…I'ma head out…"

He made his way down the stairs but turned around quickly.

"Call security if Alex comes back. Don't put yourself in a bad light—"

"Okay."

Her eyes were a million and one hues of delectable brown, like the rich brown of fertile soil after a good long lush rain. He was losing himself staring at her.

"Go to your room," he said.

She nodded.

Turning his head, he tore his body away from her presence while tugging his thin black Nike jacket down over his crotch.

"Fuck me," he gasped once he stepped outside the hotel.

Erik drove the Range Rover back to Colin's bungalow in a heady daze.


	29. Desperately

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar has a beach encounter and Erik makes a decision for both of them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to work on updating every other day. I have a lot of reading to do the next two weeks, so every other day seems doable.

"You speak truth with your eyes  
While the lies come from below  
And I thought you say you're grown but it's alright  
And now I want it desperately  
And now I want it desperately  
And it can't get better baby if you try  
Onset fever in the night  
Miss a midnight crawl  
The bedside sprawl  
Oh I want it desperately  
Oh I want it desperately"

Sam Dew – "Desperately"

"Do you want the good news or the bad news?"

Girl Stacy watched Sabine's face for her choice.

"Bad news," Sabine said stuffing her hands in her skirt pocket.

She stared at the water breaking onshore as they strolled along the crowded Ehukai Beach Park near Colin's bungalow. They had both been invited to have lunch with Erik and Colin there before she was whisked off to tape a videocast with Killmonger for the World Surf League. Erik and Colin were still chilling on the porch while Sabine and Stacy walked off all the pulled pork BBQ sliders, sweet potato fries, and smoky BBQ baked beans they gorged on.

Stacy scrolled her Samsung notebook.

"There are rumors of an altercation between you and Alex back in Paris."

"Shit. Good news?"

"It hasn't spread to the States yet. A French gossip site sent an email requesting an interview—"

"Ignore it."

"I did. Le Monde posted a picture of Alex with Rosette at a café."

"She couldn't wait to jump on his dick. Alex is only out with her to make me jealous."

"They look happy,"

Sabine snuck a peek at the photo.

"He has dark glasses on, how can you tell what he's feeling?"

"He's laughing hard."

"That's his fake laugh just to get attention. Fake ass."

"Well, she looks happy—"

"He's rich, good looking, and has one of the best apartments in France. Any bitch over there with no talent would be happy with him."

"She's pretty."

"My pinky toe is too."

"The shade"

"I've never liked her. She was always hovering around us. Ole pick me heffa."

"People know he's single again. It'll raise his status with some positive online chatter."

Sabine picked up a broken seashell and threw it toward the water.

They found a spot to sit on the sand and she allowed herself to watch the surf break.

"Fuck. Those are huge," she whispered.

Once long ago she had surfed on one of the other islands as a teenager on the junior surf tour when the waves were mild, but sitting on the sand and staring at a few surfers getting bombed left and right, she felt nervous for Killmonger. She was always up for the challenge but the waves that pummeled the sand were larger than she had ever ridden.

The Pipeline had three reef breaks that made the waves crash in shallow water. At the first reef, the waves broke to the left and Sabine saw surfers barely able to slide across the wall before being slammed and thrown off their boards. The normal hot adrenaline that ran through her body was replaced with cool dread. She rubbed her knees and glanced over at Stacy's notepad.

"I found cheap tickets to Indo. Is Tadpole still coming with you and Belimira?" Stacy asked.

"Yeah. We'll celebrate his birthday there."

"I can snag flights there now."

"Do it."

The fearsome waves grew and Sabine closed her eyes.

Erik had been on her mind for hours before she had lunch with him.

He was free.

Opening her eyes, she slid her index finger on her right hand in the sand making the infinity sign over and over.

Divorced.

She shivered thinking of his hands on her rump, spanking her over and over in the hotel stairwell. Her pussy jumped the moment he spanked her when he carried her like Tarzan dragging Jane up the stairs. When he pressed his groin into her backside, his heavy erection rested comfortably between her cheeks. Her mouth watered and she immediately pushed back against him. Playing with his dick, she wanted to make him cum. If she could make him cum, then she would know for sure he was still hers. Running her fingers across his pants and feeling warm pre-cum soak her hand, she pressed her pinky finger against his tip. He liked it when she did that. She remembered how he commanded her to do that to him in her van. His slit was sensitive and sticking her pinky tip just inside his dick hole turned him on. Erik loved it when she flicked her tongue tip inside it too. He busted all over her face the last time she did it. Her pussy was sore when he got done with her after she did that. The man wasn't ready to cum then, and when she forced it out of him, he punished her folds.

She learned that weekend that he loved her bratty behavior. He grew frustrated with her when she wouldn't obey his demands while they fucked and she knew his jump-offs let him have his way with them. The look on his face when she ignored his alpha behavior ignited his sexual aggression. Several times he used his weight advantage to hold her down while he fucked her the way he wanted and all she could do was take it. But she loved those moments when he lost control and she was able to dominate him. His lips would pull open and he would grit his teeth, and when he was really losing it, she could see the top of his gums and his eyes looked helpless and bewildered. That's how he looked in the stairwell when she twisted that fat tip in his pants. Her clit twitched in her panties and she squeezed her thighs together once more and had another intense orgasm herself as Erik spilled in his joggers. The wet look in his eyes after he ejaculated told her that he would've obliterated her pussy had they been in a bed together. The release pleasure and an incensed expression sat on his face. He would've stretched her open all night. Just like he did on the bluffs in San Onofre. So much fucking and love-making happened there.

She jumped up from the sand at the memory. He was sitting at Colin's house waiting for her so they could leave together. She wanted to fuck him. Make him chase away the terrible aftertaste of Alex. Erik would make her get on her knees and suck his balls while he jerked off and told her all the filthy things he would do to her. He was brutal with her pussy…loving, patient, and reverent with it too. Erik brought out waves of passion in her. She loved how he made her feel when they made love and she missed that type of sex. When she went up to her room in the hotel, she was floating on cloud nine. Her feelings for him never went away. She just wasted them on Alex when she ran away from San Diego and Erik.

The moment Killmonger walked into the café for their meetup, Sabine knew she was still in love with him. Without even knowing all the facts, Erik read her face and knew immediately something was wrong. If there weren't people present, she would've crawled on his lap and cried her heart out.

She could have him now. She could love him openly with no restrictions. No more guilt.

"Let's head back," Sabine said wiping the back of her pink gauzy skirt.

Sabine and Stacy meandered around tourists and locals until they were near Colin's place. A crowd of people gathered around something near the shoreline. Erik and Colin were there too. Had someone drowned?

Sabine ran up and saw what people were staring at.

A small, weak-looking, and emaciated seal with shark wounds washed ashore and was terrified from all the onlookers blocking it in a scary human circle. Erik was pouring beach water on it with a large plastic pitcher they had used for their lunch earlier.

"Get back…I need everyone to stand back. You're scaring it!" Sabine shouted.

She knelt down and touched the seal's chest to check its heartbeat. The rapid pitter-patter let her know the animal was in shock.

"Someone give me a towel please!" she shouted.

A young boy handed her a green towel with a giant starfish on it. She pressed it against the seal's bleeding wound near its left side. She looked over the poor creature for more injuries.

"It's a baby monk seal," an old white man with sunburned skin said with confidence.

"No," Sabine said.

She pressed harder into the wound to staunch the blood flow. The old man's eyes narrowed.

"I have lived here all my life. I know what a baby monk seal looks like. They are a protected and endangered species."

Erik ran with the pitcher to get more water. Stacy stood behind Sabine and took pictures.

"Gentle," Sabine told Erik when he poured more water on the animal's hindquarters.

Her eyes met the old man.

"Sir, please stand back," Sabine insisted.

A young white woman with braided pink hair waved a phone around.

"I called the Marine Mammal Network," the woman said.

The old man moved closer to Sabine annoying the hell out of her.

"It just washed ashore. Must be some predators chasing it," he said.

"This is a Northern fur seal—"

"That's a monk—"

The seal lifted up on its own and tried to escape.

"Easy little girl, easy," Sabine whispered trying to calm it.

She glanced over at the old man who refused to leave her side.

"She just tried to stand up on all of her flippers. Monk seals don't do that."

Sabine gently touched the seal's ears.

"She also has visible ears, monks seals don't."

The old man looked skeptical.

"She's a marine biologist. Better just listen to her," Erik said with a big grin on his face.

"She might bleed out and the shock is taking over. We can't wait for those people to get here. Colin, can we use your Rover?" Sabine said.

"Yeah," Colin said looking helpless.

"She looks about seventy-five pounds. We'll need some blankets to buffer and carry her."

Colin ran from the beach to get his car ready for transport.

"Volunteers?" Sabine asked.

Another white man in his twenties stepped forward. The seal was so far gone that it didn't even fight Erik or the stranger when they lifted her onto a beach blanket that another tourist gave them to use. Sabine kept her hand pressed to the shark bite as Erik and the other volunteer moved slowly away from the beach and up toward the highway.

"There's Colin!" Sabine said.

Colin whipped the Rover next to them blocking in two cars and forcing cars behind him to drive around. The woman with the cell phone from the beach ran up to them.

"The mammal response team is nearby," she said.

Colin took the woman's cell and showed her how to drop a location flag on her map tracker to give them the exact location. Erik and the other volunteer placed the seal in the back of the Rover. Sabine kept her hand pressed into the shark bite. The seal only had shallow breaths now.

"Will it make it?" Erik said with concern in his voice.

"It doesn't look good," she said. A large blue pick-up truck pulled in front of the Rover and two men jumped out.

"I'm Steve White," the driver said. Colin guided him to Sabine.

"It's a Northern fur seal," Sabine informed him.

"How the hell did it get way out here?" Steve asked staring at the animal.

"Maybe it got tired of the Bering Sea and needed a warm water vacation until it got clipped," she joked pulling back the towel to show him the wound.

"Let's get her on the truck," Steve said.

Steve and his partner moved the seal into a cage in the back of their truck and Sabine fretted about the seal's chances of survival. Erik patted her back and Stacy took more pictures. Steve's partner jumped into the back of the truck.

"Can I go with you?" Sabine asked.

Steve stared at her with his driver's side door open.

"I have a marine biology degree from UCSD. I studied seals there. It's kind of my specialty."

Steve smiled at her.

"Hop aboard," he said.

Sabine turned to Erik and Stacy.

"I'll meet you guys for the videocast. I just want to see her get checked in and make sure she's okay."

Erik nodded.

"I'll come with," Stacy said.

Sabine and Stacy left Erik and Colin behind.

It took a long time to get past all the traffic, but eventually, they arrived at a government-run facility overseen by the National Marine Fisheries. Sabine explained what occurred on the beach and the seal was given the best care possible. She wasn't allowed to watch the animal being treated for safety precautions, but she was able to hang out with Steve and get a little tour of the facilities with Stacy.

"We better get going," Stacy said looking at her notebook.

"Could you call me and give me an update?" Sabine asked Steve.

She gave him her cell number and quickly went to catch a cab with Stacy. Sabine had the cab drop them off at a tourist trap so she could buy herself a new top and skirt that was now ruined from dealing with the seal. Stacy helped her put on some light make-up to spruce up her face and they jumped into another cab to make a mad dash to her appointment with Erik.

###

They made it to the videocast taping with ten minutes to spare. She walked into an air-conditioned radio station where Erik sat in a chair across from Jarrod Oakley.

"Welcome, welcome!" Jarrod said offering his hand to Sabine.

She shook it and took a seat next to Erik. Jarrod's shaggy mane of salt and pepper hair looked so perfect for a former pro surfer. His tan was natural and dark and he had the bluest eyes that made her feel comfortable right away.

"How's Honey?" Erik asked.

"Honey?"

Erik showed her his phone and a Twitter tag. Stacy had uploaded pictures of her helping the seal.

Stacy grinned from across the room.

"Sugar saves Honey. I couldn't resist!" Stacy said.

"They'll call and let me know about her," Sabine said.

She glanced around the space. Their interview would be streamed online as part of a new videocast series that paired up surfers called "Cocktails and Convos on the Banzai Pipeline". Erik already had a drink in front of him.

"What is that?" she asked.

"A lychee martini," Erik said.

"I'll try one," she said.

Oakley's assistant made Sabine a drink and she sipped on it.

"Different," she said.

"Let's get started. It's all fun and casual. I ask questions, you both answer, and we go for about an hour. There will be three cameras rolling…"

He pointed them out and Sabine got a little more comfortable in the swivel chair. The cool air in the room made her feel relaxed.

"You had time to change clothes?" Erik asked.

"Bought stuff on the way over."

"Ready?" Oakley asked.

"Fire away," Sabine said.

###

Erik laughed and wiped tears from his eyes as his stomach felt like it was going to explode. Sugar was hilarious and Oakley lost complete control of the interview as Erik and Sugar just went back and forth talking about their love of surfing and pivotal moments in their careers. The energy between them was palpable and Oakley was kept in stitches each time Erik butted heads with Sugar about the best surfers outside of themselves. The complimentary dynamic they had together could be felt in the room. They were now drinking rosé wine and Erik stared at her face as she spoke to Oakley.

"When did you know surfing was really your passion, Sugar?"

"I was really young, about four years old. My Dad was surfing and I ran out to be with him. This wave just took me out and I was drowning…I think I was drowning…"

Erik felt hairs rise on his neck. Her words sounded familiar to him.

"…all I saw was green water and sediment, and then my Aunt pulled me out. But check this out. My Aunt and my parents swear up and down that no one pulled me out of the water. My leg was stuck in the sand and I couldn't pull it out. I felt these strong arms lift me up and then I was above the surface and breathing. I heard my Aunt and Mom screaming for me and I think I was confused. I remember crying and my Dad coming out of the surf with his board…but they all say I came out of the surf by myself."

Oakley glanced over at Erik.

"Killmonger, your face looks a bit surprised by her story."

"Yeah, I had a similar experience when I was six."

He told the story of his family whale-watching trip and Sugar's face watched him with fascination.

"To this day I know someone pulled me up. I was floating near these huge humpbacks and I could've been killed or seriously injured, but I know someone grabbed me and saved me," Erik said.

"What do you think it was?" Sugar asked.

He shrugged.

"A guardian angel?" Oakley suggested.

"I dunno. But I wasn't scared. I felt…safe."

"Me too. I was scared when I first fell over from the wave, but once the hands grabbed me, I knew I was okay. I just knew I had to conquer the waves after that," she said.

"Same."

They both stared at one another. Sugar looked away first.

They spoke longer than an hour and Oakley didn't care deciding to make it a two-parter on the spot.

"Tell us about the seal encounter," Oakley asked.

Erik looked at Sugar.

"You tell it," he said.

Sugar described the event and her tone became serious. Oakley was fascinated.

"Sugar, you are a marine biologist who surfs!"

"I'd have to work in the field to be considered a full-fledged marine biologist."

"Why seals? Most people would pick dolphins or whales."

"I did too at one time. I had all these stuffed animals from Sea World, and my family went there every year for summer vacations. San Diego has the largest zoo in the world and I fell in love with the seal and Otter shows there and at Sea World. It helps to have access to seeing the animals up close like that. When I graduated high school I worked at Sea World for the summer but then there were all these protests by animal rights activists and Sea World had to change their policies about having orcas and marine life for human entertainment."

"How did you feel about it?"

Sugar took a small sip of wine. Her eyes were very focused on Oakley.

"I was caught in the middle of the debate. I don't like seeing animals kept in captivity, but I did understand the responsibility of rehabilitating animals that can no longer survive in the wild on their own. I've always sought out a balance between the two factions, but working at Sea World I had a chance encounter with one of the performing seals that had grown too old to do tricks. His name was Wilford—"

"Wilford?" Oakley said with a laugh.

"Yes, Wilford. He reminded everyone of the actor, Wilford Brimley. I made friends with one of the animal keepers and he let me see Wilford up close. I learned his story about being rescued after a boat accident. Some weekend sailors ran over him in a sailboat and he was cut up really bad. He was supposed to do a temporary convalescence at Sea World, and they ended up keeping him for his own survival. I fell in love with him and when I went to UCSD, I wanted to focus my study on seals. I've done summer internships in Alaska and the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I also did seal research for the Scripps Institute. I actually turned down an opportunity to work at Scripps after I graduated to surf full time."

"Their loss and our gain."

"Yeah…"

Erik drank some of his wine and couldn't keep his eyes off of Sabine. Each encounter with her taught him something new, and listening to her talk so relaxed and open about her life made him reevaluate some things. Her youth and excitement made him feel protective of her. Watching her take over the rescue of the seal on the beach deepened his respect for her intelligence and leadership.

"Erik?" Oakley said.

"'sup?"

"You are so quiet now."

"I'm just fascinated by the conversation. I'm learning a lot."

Sugar glanced at him and her doe-like eyes made those protective feelings loom even bigger in his mind. An internal shift took place in him. He was deeply in love with her, but she was beginning her life and seeing the world more, and he wanted her to grow from the experience. Erik's heart grieved a bit. He wanted to fully embrace the role of mentor for her, to help her go where she wanted. But he couldn't mix up his personal feelings in that. An internal fight took place in that radio room. Erik's desire to have her as his woman was pushed back by his need to help her dreams come true. He had to figure out the surfing life all alone without help from some other Black person who came before him in that world. He had blazed a trail. He had a responsibility to guide Sugar, encourage her, and help her bypass the bullshit he encountered along the way to make a name for himself.

Before the interview was finished, Erik decided to let her go. He would love her from afar. She deserved the time and space to make a life for herself without interference from him. He wanted her to fly.

It was the right thing to do.

###

"She's going to be okay!" Sabine squealed holding her cell phone.

"That's great!" Erik said.

Sabine swung her arms around in a happy dance.

"Steve said I could come by tomorrow to see her. I was so worried."

"What will they do with her?" Stacy asked.

"They'll assess if she can return to the wild. If not, they'll find a place for her to live on the island. That's a weight off my chest!"

She ate the food on her plate in the hotel restaurant.

Erik treated her and Stacy to a nice meal of Hawaiian tacos and beer. She watched his face closely. Erik seemed a little distant after they left the videocast. The interview had been fun and being allowed to let loose like that with him made her feel closer to him. She was amazed at their similar near-drowning stories and she wanted to talk more about it with him. She grew up hearing stories from her father about strange surfing experiences and tall tales. Her favorite was about the surfer with the human bone in his hand that could control the waves of any ocean.

"Have you heard about—"

Erik's eyes ignored Sabine's and went to a woman who approached their table while she was in mid-sentence.

"Erik Stevens, long time no see," the woman said.

"Karla Reyes," Erik said.

"Don't act like a stranger!" Karla said.

Erik stood up from his seat and gave the Asian-looking woman a hug. Sabine didn't like the way the woman held onto Erik. That hug lasted too long.

Karla's long dark hair was flat-ironed to an inch of its life and her make-up wasn't overwhelming the beauty of her face like a lot of the woman Sabine saw running around all the surfers in the hotel. Karla had on an orange and white flower-print wrap dress with short white heels.

Erik turned to Sabine and Stacy.

"Karla, this is—"

"Sugar Bennett. I know exactly who she is. Happy to have you at Maverick."

Sabine stared at Karla. The woman slid into the seat next to Erik's chair.

"Jean Fouche just adores you. I run his U.S. subsidiary in New York. We should do lunch while you're here," Karla said.

"Oh."

Sabine felt overshadowed by the woman.

"Karla is someone you need to hook up with. She's known as the connector on the East Coast," Erik said.

"Nice."

Sabine's vocabulary shrunk to pitiful one-liners. Erik looked at his watch.

"How about you two do desert right now? I gotta get back to Colin's to change clothes and get ready for the obligatory cocktail mixer," Erik said.

"I'll see you there," Karla said.

"I have to get ready too," Sabine said balling up her table napkin and standing up.

Stacy walked away to go to their hotel room as Erik signed for their bill.

"You should stay and talk," Erik encouraged Sabine.

Karla's eyes darted toward the bar.

"I see someone I need to corral for a bit. Good meeting you Sugar. I'll contact you this week. Erik, I'll see you later."

Karla sauntered over to the bar.

"Erik, wait a minute," Sabine said.

His eyes were warm but still distant. It made her feel uneasy.

"Ever since the radio show, I'm feeling this weird vibe from you. What's going on?"

Something in his eyes scared her.

"Sit down," he said.

Sabine made sure to sit right next to him. She could feel her heart speeding up.

"Today gave me a lot to think about."

"Think about what?"

"You. Listening to you talk made me want to make sure you go to the top."

"That's a good thing."

"It can be, but there's a lot that comes with that."

"Then be my coach again. When you can. I know you have a lot going on—"

"Sugar…I want to help you…"

"But?"

"I want to be your mentor."

"That's what I want."

"That's all I want."

"Erik, what are you saying?"

"I want to mentor you, but I don't want anything to go beyond that. You need a clear head in this world. I'm still dealing with personal things and the next three months will be a bit difficult with my kids adjusting to being with me full time and Calista being gone."

"I understand all that."

"Understanding it and living with it are two different things."

He threw an arm around her chair and looked around. No one was paying attention to them with all the free-flowing liquor and conversations floating around.

"I don't want to hold you back, Sugar—"

"You can't hold me back. I'm in control of my own life."

"That's all I want for you. Working on creating your own life. No distractions. No outside pressure from me and all my stuff."

Panic crept into her voice.

"You're not a distraction—"

"I will be—"

"That's not true."

He patted her back like she was a wayward child and she felt burning behind her eyes.

"Tell me you still have feelings for me…just tell me that."

"I still love you. That's what you want to know, right?"

"Yeah."

His eyes fell away from hers and his fingers played with his folded napkin on the table.

"I'm still in love with you too, Erik."

"I feel it from you, Sugar," he said.

He smiled at her and she felt relief.

"Let me be your mentor—"

"For now—"

His cell buzzed and he answered it.

"Hey, baby girl," he said.

He lifted his arm from her chair.

"Okay, hold on….Marina wants to talk to you about the seal. I sent her pictures and now she has a bunch of questions."

He handed her the phone.

"Hi, Marina!"

Sabine spent twenty minutes talking to Erik's daughter before he looked at his watch again.

"Marina, can you call me on my phone? Your Dad needs to get ready for an event…"

She ended the call and handed his phone back to him. She didn't want him to go. Sabine wanted to talk more and establish a new type of beginning with him. But he wasn't feeling it. She did her best to see things from his point of view, but her love for him was too mixed in it clouding her judgment.

"Time for me to go," he said.

She stood with him, and when they left the restaurant together, she felt a line of separation falling between them.

He said he still loved her. She clung to that.

###

Erik felt antsy walking around the high-end bar. He made it a point to always go to the first big sponsored party so that he could ignore the others for the rest of his time there. Typically, everyone who was anybody showed up to be seen and to potentially make connections to potential sponsors. It was also a homecoming celebration for local stars to mingle with surfer friends from all over the world. Colin was with him dressed to impress. Erik stayed casual cool with tailor-made patterned slacks and a slick black jacket.

A few of his surfer friends were ready to cut out and get to Colin's house for the afterparty, but Erik made Colin stay longer to hook him up with some newbies that might be interested in working with Surfgeist.

The party was filled with so many people that Erik started to feel closed in. He grabbed a drink from the main bar and mingled with a few of his close friends that flew over from the States. They were the only Black men in the mix, so it was hard to lose sight of them in the flow of the crowd.

He felt a hand slide up his back.

"Having fun?" Karla said.

"Look at you," he said eyeing her dress.

Karla's forest green crushed-velvet dress had a plunging neckline all the way down to her waist.

"I see you like it," she said twirling around.

"Fine as always," he said.

She leaned into him and whispered in his ear.

"A little birdy told me you were divorced now. Is that true?"

"It is," he said sipping on a fresh glass of Henny.

Karla's dark eyes took on a mischievous shine.

"What's that look for?"

"You know what that look is for. I've been waiting a long time to dig my hooks in you."

Karla's voice became sultry. A female photographer came by and requested a photo. Erik slid a hand around Karla's waist and she rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks!" the photographer said. Erik released Karla's waist but she kept her hand on his shoulder.

"Seeing anyone?" Karla asked.

Erik saw Colin stop talking to their buddies at the end of the bar and stare at the entrance. Erik's eyes glanced that way and he saw Sugar walk in.

Shit.

Ma was wearing the hell out of her tri-color dress. Pumpkin, cream, and black shades draped her form with a high split on the side. She wore designer black and white boots with a yin/yang pattern on them and she fluffed out her 'fro so that it looked like a beacon of obsidian glory.

"Sugar," he said loud enough to catch her attention. She turned to look at him.

Erik left Karla at the bar and walked toward Sugar, with a grin on his face as he admired her beauty. The smile faded when he saw one of his boys from Oakland slide up next to her and take all of her attention. Colin joined them and guided Sugar away.

Karla slid her fingers in Erik's hand.

"We weren't done talking," she said with a pout on her lips.

"Talking about what?"

"Us."

"That'll have to wait," he said as he went after Sugar.


	30. I Can't Help It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik allows Sugar to mingle with his friends and he competes at one of the biggest end of the year surfing events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Humming along.

"Looking in my mirror  
Took me by surprise  
I can't help but see you  
Running often through my mind  
Helpless like a baby  
Sensual disguise  
I can't help but love you  
It is getting better all the time

I can't help it if I wanted to  
I wouldn't help it even if I could  
I can't help it if I wanted to  
I wouldn't help it, no"

Michael Jackson – "I Can't Help It"

Erik didn't run up to Sugar, but the energy in his legs made him feel like he had sprinted to the entrance to get her away from the pack of jackals that were his friends sniffing around her. They were just as dazzled with her as he was.

Colin was in the middle of introducing her to all five of their friends with his hand around Sugar's waist. Erik joined their circle and Colin immediately released her.

"Every year you do this? Without fail?" Sugar asked.

Alton, the biggest dog among them, was licking his lips at her, his velvet dark skin catching stares from a lot of the white women buzzing around.

"For the last ten years. Tradition. We've been keeping tabs on you, Sugar. Erik's been bragging about you to us for months," Alton said.

Sugar glanced at Erik with a twinkle in her eye.

"Is that right?" she said.

Erik glanced at his watch.

"Let's dip, y'all," he said.

The men set empty glasses of liquor down.

"Are you coming to the crib?" Malik asked Sugar.

Malik touched the beard on his wide face, his signature move when he was trying to mack. Erik clasped Sugar's hand and pulled her aside.

"Let's meet up after the first day heats."

"You don't want me to come back to Colin's house—"

"It might get a little wild—"

"Like I can't handle wild?"

"It's kind of a guy thing."

"You have strippers coming over or something?"

She put her free hand on her hip. He kept a stronghold on her other hand blocking his friends from her.

"Well?" she asked.

Colin pushed up on her and took her other hand.

"Ride with us," Colin said.

"Where's Stacy?" Erik asked.

"Sleep. She's not a big party girl."

His eyes darted around.

"Why are you tripping?"

Erik looked down at Colin's hand pulling her toward the exit.

"Just don't judge us," he said pulling her away from Colin.

He led her and their group to the entrance of the hotel where they caught two separate cabs. Erik rode with Sugar in the backseat of the first cab and the scent of her perfume made him want to rest his face against her neck. The moment they arrived at the bungalow his friends began to cut up by turning up Colin's stereo loud. There was a private chef there preparing finger foods already and within minutes other people began to arrive. Surfing buddies and a lot of women. Young women ready to party and everything else.

Erik introduced Sugar to a few big-name male surfers and she was quite comfortable mingling on her own. She cornered two big wave surfers that Erik had known for years and he relaxed a bit. Thus far, the party was staying tame.

But it was early.

He kept his eye on her as he grabbed a mixed drink from the kitchen. He spoke to Colin for a bit before his eyes saw Karla and five other women enter the packed house. The porch was stuffed with party people and even the back of the house was loud with voices filled with laughter.

"Chill man," Colin said as Erik made himself another drink.

"This is only my second drink here," Erik said.

"No, I mean, chill with smothering Sugar. She's a big girl."

Erik's face crinkled up.

"I see how you're acting. The fellas are good. I told them she was off-limits."

"I'm not smothering her."

"If you say so."

"As her mentor, I have to make sure she doesn't get caught up in the bullshit. You know how we do."

"Mentor, huh?"

"Yeah. I agreed to work with her again. Help her with all the crazy that's coming her way."

"You tell her about the divorce?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"I'm working on keeping things regular."

"Really?"

"Yo, man. She needs guidance and that's it."

Colin smirked. His eyes regarded Sugar in the corner speaking to three women who came with Karla.

"She looks amazing," Colin said.

"How come you didn't tell me you were keeping in contact with her all this time?"

"That was between me and her. You never spoke about her to me after Marina's party, so I figured you didn't want to talk about your feelings. Ain't got nothing to do with me. She'd check in with me once every other week to ask questions about technique and shit."

"Is that it?"

"Pretty much."

"She ever ask about me?"

"No. If she wanted to know about you, she would've called you. Sugar is always direct."

Erik stared at Colin. His eyes were still on Sugar.

"She can have more than one mentor you know," Colin said.

"I arrived right on time," Karla said pushing up on Erik.

Erik finished the last of his drink in his clear plastic cup.

"Great gathering, Colin."

"Glad you could make it."

"When are you going to finally come around to Maverick, Erik?"

Karla's eyes were shiny with the effects of good wine, and Erik shifted his attention to her.

"I don't think you could handle me."

"Jean wants you."

"Yeah, I know. Been hounding me for over a decade."

"We are scooping up the hottest talent around the world—"

"Just take good care of Sugar and I'll be fine."

Karla's eyes looked at Sugar. She was the only Black woman in the room.

"If she does well next year, she'll have a long and profitable career with Maverick. We want more like her."

"Because she's talented, or because she's black?" Erik asked.

Karla's eyes flickered.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I've noticed you've ignored a lot of talented white women in the past three years who deserve sponsorship. Some of them better than Sugar."

"Talent isn't enough. People have to be a good fit. I admit it helps that Sugar is Black. She's attractive and on everyone's radar. But she would be with us even if she wasn't Black. She's not a token, Erik."

"Good."

"I work for them and I am very conscious of what goes on in the world in terms of race. I know what it's like."

"Being part Chinese doesn't put you in the same space as Sugar."

"I didn't say that."

"It's implied."

Karla pushed her hair back and moved closer to Erik and Colin when more people entered the house.

"I better go greet the new guests," Colin said.

Karla eased even closer.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Seems like you'd want to spend the night resting instead of having a big house party before a competition."

"It brings me good luck."

"Do you have plans tomorrow night?"

"Yeah," he said.

He walked away from Karla and stepped to his friends to check on Sugar.

"How's it going?" Sugar asked him.

"It's cranking up in here," he said.

"I got another update about Honey. She needs some rehabilitation for a few weeks but they think they can release her back into the wild."

"That's great."

"Yeah. They still can't figure out why she traveled so far away from her natural waters alone."

Her eyes watched the room.

"Are you and Karla a thing?"

"Nah."

"She's into you."

"Maybe. But Jean Fouche has been after me to sign with them when a few of my contracts come up for renewal with Nike and Danzing. A lot of that attention is to try and lure me to the company."

"It's more than that."

Erik looked at Sugar's face. Her skin was dewy and her eyes were bright. The gloss on her lips had a slight mauve tint making her mouth look so ready for kissing.

"Let me introduce you to some folks," he said.

He used that as an excuse to hold her hand again as he led her to some women from an online surf magazine. When the women agreed to set up an interview with Sugar, he took her over to three of his close Native Hawaiian buddies, the Kawai brothers, members of a surfing dynasty who were related to the last sovereign Queen of Hawaii, Liliuokalani.

"Sugar, this is Troy, Chubby Boy, and Lono."

"Hi," she said shaking their hands.

Chubby Boy, who wasn't chubby at all as an adult now, gave her a big hug smothering her in his bulky muscles.

"The best longboarders in the world," Erik said.

He watched Sugar talk a mile a minute with them and forty minutes later he took her to meet a few local female surfers who were also teaching the sport to young girls on the island. When she was done with them, he took her into the kitchen to get food.

"I like the brothers," she said.

"Lesson number one. Always pay your respects to their family when you come here. It's the first thing you do. They are royalty here, a long line of amazing surfers. A lot of pros come from them, but they tend to free surf and maintain the culture for their people."

"I've heard of Lono before."

"He's the oldest. His son is going to be a beast if he turns pro. He's twelve now. Don't ever cross them. They've been known to start fights with Haoles. I used to fight all three of them back in the day."

"That rough, huh?"

"Back in the 80s, when their father was in his twenties, he used to just bomb niggas upside the head for stepping into their waters around here. He's a grandpa now, but he'll still get in that ass."

"How bad were your fights with them?"

"Me and Lono used to be all bloodied up. In the water and everything. He must've thought I was like these white boys running around. I kicked his ass a few times and he kicked mine…but only with the help of Chubby Boy."

"What's Chubby Boy's real name?"

"Real talk? I don't know, he's always been Chubby Boy."

She laughed and he gave her a sardonic smile before taking her back into the living room. Erik kept her by his side for the rest of the evening until she went to speak to Karla. He needed a break then and went for a long walk on the beach.

The waxing moon lingered low in the sky and he listened to the wave breaks as he trudged in the cool sand barefoot. The grains tickled the bottom of his feet. He checked his cell phone and Deuce sent him a photo of him and Marina with his sister snacking on caramel popcorn and watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. They looked happy.

Erik stopped to watch the white caps of the waves crashing and imagined how he would tackle the huge swells that were expected. There would be a lot of wind fighting against them on the water, so wave riding would be more difficult. His body felt strong and fully capable of handling the next day's work.

"Killmonger."

He turned his head to the right and saw Sugar walking toward him barefoot.

"You were gone a long time," she said.

"Just thinking about tomorrow."

Her eyes took in the night waves as the moonlight bathed her face in a bluish glow.

"Did you want to be alone?" she asked.

"I'm good—"

"I can go back if you want—"

"It's okay, Sugar. I was just out here clearing my head."

"I haven't gone surfing since I've been here," she said staring at the water.

"Why not?"

"It's been a little hectic and my mind has been all over the place with Alex…"

"Since you're here for the duration you should get out there. You want to make the leap to big wave riding eventually, might as well jump in. I can take you over to peep JAWS if you want. Me and the guys are flying over."

"That sounds cool."

"I'm going to walk a little further," he said.

"I'll head back to the party so you can be by yourself."

"It's cool, you can hang with me…if you want."

Sugar looked at the water again then followed alongside him as he continued moving down the beach. They were quiet together, and when she shivered, he pulled off his jacket and gave it to her.

"Could we stop for a bit? I think I stepped on a shell," Sugar said.

She reached down and picked at her foot.

"Got a little cut," she said.

"Sit on my jacket," he said.

She placed his jacket on the sand and they both sat down. She cradled her foot where there was a small spot of blood. They spent a long silent hour chilling and watching waves.

"Your friends are cool," she said, finally breaking the silence.

"They are only behaving tonight because I asked them to."

"That sucks," she said.

"Trust me, it gets worse if you aren't ready for it."

"Orgies and stuff?"

Erik stared at her.

"Yeah."

"For real? I thought Colin was joking about that," she said.

"Yeah."

"You've done that?"

"I've done a lot of stuff."

"How many?"

He ignored the question. She pushed it.

"How many women at one time?"

"Time to change the subject—"

"How many?"

She grabbed his arm and tugged on it.

"You don't need to know my body counts—"

"Oh, so you are a hoe-hoe!"

He gently jammed his elbow into her side.

"How many?"

She tickled him.

"Stop!" he said giggling while slapping at her fingers.

"Tell me."

"Four. At one time. Technically five, but she just sucked my balls while I fucked the other four."

Sugar's eyes stopped looking playful.

"Five women?"

He nodded.

"In a house full of those dudes doing the same thing."

She pulled back from him.

"I thought you would say two."

"Like I told you, I've done some shit. You regret asking me now?"

"No. I'm just…how can you keep it up for five people?"

"Pacing and experience."

Sugar's face still looked shocked.

"This was back in my twenties. Stuff like that sounds like fun until you actually do it. The novelty of it is the exciting part. The bragging rights. It gets boring though. I started looking for other things to do.

"Like?"

"Spanking."

"I like that one."

He smirked.

"What else?" she said.

Erik stood up.

"Time to head back," he said.

He held down a hand for her and helped her stand up. She shook his jacket of sand and put it back on. The walk back was slow, purposely slow. He didn't want to rush the peace he felt being on the beach with her. Her hand brushed near his and she entwined her fingers with his. He allowed her to do it.

"I had a threesome once," she said.

"You?"

"Yeah."

He stopped walking. Her eyes were being coy.

"It was with a guy and another girl. It was…interesting. I just couldn't stay focused. Stacy could, but I had a hard time—"

"You and Stacy? Girl Stacy?"

"Yeah. She and I used to date back in high school. We just made better friends than girlfriends."

Her eyes studied his face.

"So you're…?"

"Bi? I guess queer adjacent is better. Fluid maybe. But I tend to date more men. Sometimes it's hard to be open like that. People still judge. I never really think about it. I like who I like and I leave it at that."

"Wow. I mean, not wow because that's your thing, but wow that you and Stacy can transition easily like that. So…about that threesome…"

Her smile was wide again, her teeth so pretty and bright.

"We were down in Cabo two years ago just messing around. Drinking, partying…horny. Not for each other but for this guy we met down there. We both wanted him and we weren't about to flip a coin. It just happened. What's funny is, we really didn't have sex with each other, just him."

"Watching each other get off. I've been there before."

"You and Colin ever…?"

"Nah. We've shared women but he and I are just boring cishet men."

"You're not boring."

"Neither are you."

He squeezed her hand and she leaned against him. Her warmth was too close to him. He stepped back. Sugar moved in front of him. They were near the bungalow and he could hear the party still going on inside.

Sugar's head was tilted up and all he had to do was lower his face just a little bit and he could kiss her. She waited there like she wanted him to do it. He honestly did want to himself, but he held back. It would be so easy to take advantage of her. For the first time in his life as a sexually active adult, he had been celibate for months. The urges were strong but he transferred that energy to his surfing and winning on his comeback trail. Sugar was standing there like fresh cold water for a thirsty man. He was fucking parched. All he had to do was guide her into the room he was sleeping in and she would open up those legs and let him beat down…

He was saved by loud hooting and hollering inside.

Erik walked away from her and climbed up the porch steps. They walked into the house in time to see Karla taking off her top and baring her nicely tanned breasts. Half the people in the room were in some form of nudity gathered around the glass and pewter coffee table on couches and chairs with shot glasses and a card game his friend Kirkland had in his hand.

Shit. The Tequila Sex Card Game. The one that usually started the orgy parties and nasty shenanigans. Chubby Boy had his dick hanging off the couch as he pulled a card and held a full shot glass in his hand.

Sugar's eyes looked intrigued and Erik walked up to the table. There were fewer people in the house, and the ones still hanging out were their usual freaky Hawaiian crew. Karla's tits jiggled as she moved on the couch and Erik had a hard time pretending not to notice them.

"I told y'all to cool it tonight," Erik scolded.

"Grab a drink, Sugar!" Kirkland said.

"Nah, she's not playing this," Erik said.

"I want to watch," she whined.

"You gotta play. Can't just watch. Thems the rules," Malik said easing up next to her while handing her a filled shot glass.

Erik shook his head at her. She decided to act willfully.

"What do I have to do?" she said.

Chubby Boy looked around the circle of fifteen people.

"Karla was the last one of the round, so you can go next. Pick a card," he said fanning out a deck of cards in front of him.

"I pick a card and then what happens?"

"Do what it says. But you can refuse and pass. We're all consenting adults here."

"Sugar…"

Erik's tone was adamant that she didn't play. She ignored him.

"Drink a shot and kiss the person to your left for one full minute."

Erik heard the words she read but was too slow to stop her.

Sugar gulped down the Tequila, then turned and kissed Colin.

###

The scene had become a different animal when Sabine stepped back into Colin's bungalow. A lot of people had left and when she glanced at the small cuckoo clock on the fireplace mantle it was already past midnight. The witching hour.

Seeing Karla reveal her breasts and peeping Chubby Boy's chubby flaccid dick made her excited to see what the rest of the time there would come to. Ignoring Erik, she pulled out a card from the deck and read it to everyone, downing the shot fast.

When she turned toward Colin, his eyes looked pleased. She cradled his face and pressed her lips to his without hesitation, the liquor burning her throat and warming up her chest. She was already feeling a low-grade buzz that made her open for anything.

Colin slipped his tongue into her mouth and Sabine felt her stomach tumble as she let him taste hers.

"Well, damn," Malik said.

Colin's hands slipped down to hold her waist and he pulled Sabine in close and she could feel the muscles in his chest grazing hers. Her mind faded out as she gave in to his firm lips that took the dominant lead in the kissing once she gave into it. When his hand slipped down to her ass a buzzer went off.

"Times up!" Chubby Boy shouted.

"Spin the wheel," Karla said pointing to another component of the game. A color-coded spinner with labeled pie parts awaited her hand.

Sabine reached down and spun the red spinner and as it twirled around, she turned to look at Erik.

He was gone.

"It stopped on, everyone with odd numbers. You know what to do people, everyone else with an odd number has to kiss the person on their left now…"

Sabine left the group and went to look for Erik. He was in the kitchen grabbing bottled water.

"Hey," she said.

His eyes were hot.

"What?" she asked.

He ignored her.

"It's just a game, Erik."

He drank his water and walked past her back into the living room. She followed him back out and Colin's eyes were on her and she felt a little weird. She could've kissed anyone. Colin just happened to be there.

After a few minutes of watching another full round and witnessing Karla having to whisper the dirtiest thing she could in another woman's ear based on what card she pulled, Erik left the party completely and went into his room closing the door.

"What's with him?" Kirkland asked Colin.

"He jealous," Malik said.

Karla stood up and walked topless to Erik's door and knocked on it. Sugar nearly hopped over Colin to get to that door. Erik opened it and Sabine saw his eyes check out Karla's breasts. Karla grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room.

"I gotta get some rest," Erik said.

"Play a round with us. The really x-rated cards are being pulled now. You might get to play with my tits," she said placing Erik's hands on her breasts.

Sabine saw him squeeze them before pinching the woman's nipples and sending her away.

"Nah, I'm good. Competing at ten, remember?" he said with a smile on his face.

"Your loss. Next time."

Karla turned away with tits jiggling as she bumped into Sabine.

"Sorry. Nice kissing," Karla said.

Sabine stepped aside so she could get past.

"Are you sleeping with her?"

"No—"

"Why would you touch her like that in front of me?"

"I was playing with her. Like you were playing."'

"Yeah, because it was a game."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"We good."

"But you don't sound good."

"I'm tired Sugar. Can we talk tomorrow after the heats?"

"You're making me feel like I did something wrong."

"I didn't want you to participate in this shit. I'm pissed that they were playing it when I asked for it to be off-limits."

"It's pretty tame, to be honest—"

"Is it?" he nodded back toward the other side of the house.

A white girl who was friends with Lono had her head between his legs and was bobbing her head on his dick while the others watched and clapped.

"At least I didn't pull that card," she said with a weak laugh.

Erik's eyes were hard, but then he started laughing and relief pooled throughout her body.

"I'm gonna text you a Lyft and get you up outta here," he said.

He pulled her into his room and shut the door.

"It's nice in here. Very vintage," she said.

The seventies beach décor fell in line with the old rattan furniture look. Even the queen-sized bed with the old pink flower blanket on it was made of some type of bamboo frame. His bedroom faced the beach, just like his bedroom back in Mission Beach. The soft light of the single lamp on the old tan wooden nightstand gave the room a rich golden glow.

"I could just stay here," she said.

"Nah, they about to get messy and I don't want you here."

That hurt her feelings.

"But I could sleep in here with you."

"Ain't no way you sleeping in here. I have to get at least six hours of shut-eye. You laid up next to me is a no-no. You know that. C'mon, Sugar. Stop tryna make this shit hard."

She laughed at him.

"You know what I meant. I'm serious, Ma."

"You still upset with me kissing Colin?"

"No."

"You sure?"

His fingers swiped his cell.

"Go get your boots."

"I can sleep on the floor," she suggested.

"Get your shoes, girl."

"I'll leave, but keep your hands off of Karla's tits."

He curled his lips up and set his phone on the nightstand.

"Close my door!" he shouted.

She closed it and saw another woman on her hands and knees as Malik licked her pussy from the back. Sabine decided to watch the game for a few minutes until she got bored with some of the card tasks and headed to Colin's room to grab her boots and purse.

Stepping into the room she caught Colin dicking down Karla on his bed. Her legs were thrown over his shoulders as he fucked her on the side of the bed facing Sabine. Stunned, she just stood there and watched him, his long dick sheathed and pumping in and out of Karla fast. His lips went to her neck and he kissed her before he raised up and saw Sabine watching him.

He kept fucking.

A slick smile creased his lips and he began to long stroke the woman, letting Sabine see his lengthy erection. Her mouth parted and she saw Colin's lips twist up as Karla yelped and gave whimpers as she took his thick member. Colin groaned and started giving Karla deep shallow thrusts.

"Take this dick, bitch!"

Colin growled at Karla but his eyes were on Sabine. She felt her nipples get hard. She had always been attracted to him, and she knew he was attracted to her. His kissing was top-notch, and she tried her best to act like it wasn't a big deal but watching him pound Karla, Sabine felt her pussy pulse between her thighs.

Sabine could hear more fucking going on in the living room and she knew Erik was right. It was time for her to leave.

"I'm cumming! Colin, I'm cumming!"

Karla thrashed on the bed and Colin watched her face before he pulled off the condom and jerked off his dick so Sabine could see it. She knew she should've left the moment he saw her. But she wanted to watch him. She wanted to see what he was working with. It was obviously sending Karla into a frenzy.

Colin fisted himself, working his fingers around the top of his knob so Sabine could see everything. Karla lifted up to her knees and licked under Colin's balls. He rested his left hand on his hip as he stroked, thrusting his groin forward so that his balls could be seen by her. They were big and succulent-looking like Erik's.

"Oh shit!"

His cum splashed all over the bedspread and Sabine grabbed her boots and belongings. She kept her eyes on the front door as she left the room and exited the house.

"Where you been?" Erik asked.

He sat on a rocking chair on the far end of the porch.

"Bathroom," she said.

She slipped on her boots and a cab rolled up.

"I thought you were getting me a Lyft."

"Cab was quicker."

He handed her cash and walked her to the cab.

"Hey! Can I share that ride? We're at the same hotel!"

Karla came running out of the house with Colin right behind her.

"Sure," Sabine said.

Karla gave Colin a kiss on the cheek and she waved at Erik hopping into the front seat of the cab.

"See you tomorrow," Sabine said to them both.

"Text me when you make it there," Erik said.

"I will."

She waved and jumped into the backseat.

"Wild party, huh?" Karla said.

The woman had her cell out and had her fingers were busy typing.

"Yeah. Total mood shift at the end."

"You and Killmonger seem pretty tight."

"He's my coach."

"That's awesome. I saw parts of the videocast you two did. Great chemistry."

"Thanks. How come you didn't stay longer?"

"I have a Zoom conference in the morning. Early. Can't afford to have bags under the eyes."

"Cucumbers help with that."

"Interesting."

Sabine shook her head. She didn't know why she brought up cucumbers. Karla turned around to face her.

"Are you and Colin dating?"

"No. He's a friend."

"Good."

"Good?"

"The way you two were kissing…everyone assumed you were with him," Karla said.

Sabine eyed Karla with suspicion. If kissing Colin gave off couples vibes, it certainly didn't stop her from fucking him. She was hot to trot for Erik too. Sabine wondered if Erik would've taken her into his room if she weren't there.

"I'm going to call you for lunch."

"You do that," Sabine said turning her head to look out of the window.

Sabine dragged herself to her hotel room feeling her energy drop off the moment she stepped off the elevator. Stacy was snoring on her bed tucked under the covers with the air conditioning up high. The room was freezing. Sabine turned down the air and shucked off her dress. She pulled on a lace camisole and climbed onto her bed.

Sleep came fast, but so did the morning sun.

Sabine woke up to an empty hotel room. Stacy was already gone to the hotel gym. Rubbing the side of her head where a small hangover headache rested, she slid down off the bed and sat on the floor to stretch her legs. Checking her cell, she had time to eat before going to watch Erik compete in his first heat. Outside the window, she saw the tall palm trees swaying with the wind. The waves would be choppy.

She missed a text from Erik and realized she forgot to let him know she made it back save. She shot off a quick emoji for him and noticed a text message from Colin.

"You left your scarf in my bedroom."

Sabine's mind went back to Colin kissing her back the way he did. The way he suckled her top lip before giving her his whole mouth as the hairs on his upper gave her faint tickles. She remembered him hunched over Karla and making that woman squeal in delight. Laying her head back against the bed, Sabine closed her eyes and let her fingers ghost over her panties thinking about him. The masterful way he stroked his dick while watching her face and daring her to leave the room made her sigh. Sabine curled her lips together and slipped her fingers inside her panties.

Another image crossed her mind. Erik squeezing Karla's breasts in front of her like it was no big deal to touch another woman in front of her. If he loved her, why would he do that? Was he trying to make her jealous? Get back at her for kissing Colin in a stupid game like they were some high school kids being petty?

Sabine's clit plumped up when she thought of the anger in Erik's eyes. If they were alone, would he spank her for tonguing down his best friend? Another image simmered on her brain. A made-up fantasy. Erik fucking her from behind while she sucked on Colin's dick on Colin's bed.

"Oohhh…."

A soft moan floated away from her lips as she flicked her bud and spread her legs. She looked down at her mound and pulled her panties to the side so she could look at how fat her pussy was while indulging in the fantasy of having both men. She tugged on her panties again forcing them into a tight line and pulling it hard between her outer lips that were swollen. Her right hand tugged harder forcing the silky panties to rub against her clit. What would it be like to have both men on their knees in front of her fisting their thick meat, rubbing their fat heads against her clit. She would take turns riding them both. Erik would spank her as she bounced on Colin's dick.

"Fuck!" she gasped.

Sabine pulled on her panties. They were sandwiched so tight in the middle of her folds, the friction unbearable. Colin was whispering filthy things in her ear now while Erik fisted his dick above her face, his balls in her mouth. Her eyes rolled back and shut tight. One final tug on her panties triggered her release and she came on the floor with Erik and Colin shooting cum all over her face together. Sabine's body crashed from the intensity of her orgasm and she fell on the floor curled up in a tight ball. Her fingers were soaked and she could smell the scent of Erik and Colin's cologne even in her fantasy world.

Stacy ran into the room sweaty and out of breath, her gap-toothed smile beaming.

"Let's go have breakfast and get ready to leave!" Stacy said.

She ran into the bathroom and ran a shower as Sabine sat up quickly and pulled on her panties to cover her wet vulva. Her eyes stared out of the window again. Stacy wasn't in the shower long.

"Come on, get dressed!" Stacy said.

Sabine stood up from the floor feeling bewildered and still aroused.

###

Erik struggled.

The competition was how he wanted it. There was nothing worse than surfing against mediocre people, but when his rivals were on their game, it made surfing more intense and pleasurable for him.

Paddling back onto the line after kicking out of a wave he passed on, Erik sat on his board trying to catch his breath. He was overexerting himself fighting against the wind, whitewater, and swells that were intent on brutalizing his body. He stroked his chest through his yellow rash guard and yellow vest as he watched the crowd on the beach.

Somewhere out there, Sugar was watching him, and knowing her, he knew that she was taking mental notes on everything. He had to fight hard to make it into the finals and switched out his board to handle the height and ferocity of the water. The final heat after two weeks found him and Serg Mendes of Brazil pearling over their boards constantly, their nosedives bringing audible gasps from the fans watching.

There were only twenty minutes left in the heat.

"I will need to soak in salt water and ice after this," Serg called to him.

Erik ignored him and glanced behind him as three sets of waves rolled in. Serg started to paddle, but Erik moved in faster and snatched it from him as he popped up. He slid down the wall of the wave but he overcompensated his weight to try and balance himself with the speed he was traveling and instead of nailing the perfect ride, the nose of his board penetrated the water and he slid forward. The wall was too steep and too fast. The back of his board launched up and he was catapulted over the nose headfirst, slamming his head and shoulders down into the unforgiving liquid.

Holding his breath, Erik felt the second wave cross above him forcing his body further down. He calmed himself. Giving in to panic made surfers use up their oxygen. Erik forced his way to the surface but was slammed down again by a fourth wave. He barely had time to snatch a bit of air before he was tussled about underwater.

When he was able to return to the surface, he saw Serg pearling over his board as a closeout swept him away, and Erik knew this was going to be more of a battle between the wind and waves rather than another man. Erik made the long haul back out into the deep feeling the taut muscles in his arms burn with lactic acid. They were unable to do basic duck dives getting past the big waves, everything was a turtle roll and that took up so much energy.

Ten minutes passed and neither he nor Serg charged forward. The wind blew back white water on their faces and large swells lifted them up and down causing his stomach to churn a bit. Time was ticking away all their chances to put up decent scores.

Erik closed his eyes and worked on calming his mind. He visualized the perfect wave in his thoughts. He would conjure up the one that would give him the points he needed to cement his win. The wave he saw in his mind's eye was large but under his control. He would glide down a wall and skim his fingers along it, shushing it like one would do a wild animal to get it to obey. He was the Master of the ocean. He was the King of the sea. The energy of Mama Wati surrounded him.

Opening his eyes, Erik looked behind himself and saw what he made manifest: an incoming swell that he would harness and ride to victory.

Serg saw it too and both men glanced at one another as their boards swayed on choppy waters with the wind still blowing their bodies back.

"This is mine!" he shouted over to Serg.

"We'll see about that," Serg called back.

Erik's arms dug into the water and he shot forward. He felt the board lift and he moved his hands to the center of his chest and pushed up, his feet planting hard as he faced the direction he would glide down. He kept his back foot above his fins and his front foot stationed in the middle of his board feeling the wax give him the traction he needed. Grabbing the right rail, he slid down the high wall fast while slowing down his mind at the same time. Keeping his body low, he felt a smile curl across his lips as the booming roar of water rattled his ears.

He dropped into a wide and deep pipeline.

The tube of bright blue-green water surrounded him and he clutched his right rail harder to keep the board skimming evenly inside the pocket as he slotted deeper into the tube. Stepping forward, he shifted his weight again to make the board move faster. He could feel the water of the tube breaking down around him as whitewash chased him trying to flip him off of the board. He swept through the first section of the barrel and was able to catch another curling wave section extending his time inside.

Fuck yeah.

His board bounced and almost threw him off on a foam ball, but he corrected the wobble and skimmed out beautifully without falling off, doing a quick 360 and a backflip just to show off a bit. From the beach he could hear a wall of loud cheering as he kicked out.

Paddling back in place to await another perfect wave, he saw Serg take-off. The wind blew him back and Erik watched the man fly over his board. Wicked.

The next sets were too choppy and Erik couldn't get a handle on any of them. Neither could Serg. Their time was going to run out and they would be stuck with whatever scores they had thus far, the judges tossing out their lowest ones.

"This is it!" Serg cried out.

Time was winding down and Erik watched the Brazilian take his last ride of the final heat. The crowd cheered for Serg, and Erik felt like he wouldn't get one last shot until and a rogue wave came up and he snagged it. This ride would either make him the new Pipeline Masters Champion or not.

The wave was sudden as it rose from the sea like some giant trolling the waters, but Erik's experience taught him how to pop up late on a tricky wave and make that shit work.

He felt confident dropping down and bottoming right. His drive down the wall was good and he tried to straighten it out, but whitewater slashed at his face and he lost his balance falling into the wall with his left shoulder.

He heard something pop in his shoulder as the wall turned him into mincemeat crashing on top of him. His board smacked him in the back and he flailed his arms trying to figure out where the surface was as the water rushing around him blinded him for a moment. He saw where the light was and pushed up only to get flattened again by another rogue wave. The pain in his shoulder burned and he could only use his right arm and his exhausted legs to bring him up for air.

He gasped once he breached the surface, and he allowed the water to toss him around as he tried to float on his back and push back on his pain. A safety team member had to pick him up with a jetski. He grimaced when a hand reached down to help pull him onto the back of a rescue board.

"I got you, man!"

It was Lono and Erik was relieved that it was a buddy who retrieved him.

"I fucking popped something!" Erik shouted.

"Hold on!"

A wave shoved the watercraft and Lono cranked the throttle to move them out.

Erik held on with his uninjured hand and when Lono got him safely to the beach, he could hear the crowd cheering and clapping despite his wipeout. A health tech helped him off of the board and Erik held his left arm against his side. Looking down at his leg, his leash was still attached to his ankle, but there was only half a board left sitting on the sand. A health tech unleashed him.

The pain was less searing and Erik prayed that he didn't dislocate his shoulder. The roar of the fans washed over him as he walked toward the medical booth. Colin and his boys ran up to him to congratulate him.

"Nigga, you got this one!" Colin shouted.

Erik could barely prioritize his friends, his fans, or even the realization that he had won even with a sloppy finish. All he could see was Sugar.

She slid up to him, her face full of worry as she stared at his injured arm and then took in his face.

"Killmonger, ohmigod, how bad is it?"

Erik grabbed her by her waist with his right hand and pulled her in tight. Pain or no pain he had to touch her.

"I'll be okay—"

"Erik—"

He sought out her mouth and kissed her, not giving a damn who saw it.


	31. Don't Disturb This Groove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar takes on the notorious Jaws in Pe'ahi and Erik gets a surprise...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this will end around 40 chapters before the sequel starts.

"Pay attention, are you listening?  
You're my favorite girl.  
Excuse me for the moment.  
I'm in another world.  
(On a mountain, ) by a fountain.  
Flowers blooming everywhere.  
With Venus and Cupid, the picture's very clear.  
Hang the sign upon the door, say:  
Don't disturb this groove.  
Just a way to say that  
I'm so into you, and the feelings so real.  
So don't disturb this groove…"

Me'Shell Ndegeocello – "Don't Disturb This Groove"

It had been a rough heat to watch.

Sabine had played around in the hotel lobby with Stacy teasing her about her rough-looking toes and Stacy cracked on the rough calloused skin on the back of Sabine's heels. She had to use a heel file to rub away the hardened layers there every morning while adding cocoa butter on it afterward.

"At least I get janky-looking feet because of surfing and saltwater. What's your excuse?"

Stacy play-slapped her on the back of her neck. They caught a cab to watch the competition and the closer they got to the packed beach, the more excited she became. Killmonger had beat out so many great surfers to make it to the final round in difficult surfing conditions. She didn't get a chance to hang out with him after Colin's first house party, and Erik didn't invite her back to the bungalow for any other mixers they had. But Karla had been there several times. Sabine knew this because she followed the woman's social media and kept tabs on her whereabouts on the island. She tried not to think about the woman possibly hooking up with Erik. The way Colin fucked her Sabine wasn't surprised that the woman was running over there every chance she got.

The first four days Sabine felt a little churlish mood festering in her chest when she saw pictures of Karla with Colin and Erik out and about, but she had to remind herself that the woman was still working her job. There were tons of pictures with her with nearly every competing surfer there. There were no sketchy photos, so Sabine's mind let it go.

The beach was packed with spectators, photographers, and surfers who had lost. A few drones flew high above them trying to capture overhead shots of the waves. They found a decent spot to sit and saw Colin and Lono on their jetskis patrolling the water. Sabine made sure they arrived in time to see Killmonger walk out like an ocean gladiator. She loved watching him study the water before he went in. The sets were gnarly and Killmonger attached his leash to his ankle after staring at the view for a full five minutes. She blew him a secret kiss as he made his way into the water with his opponent, Serg Mendes.

Serg had created a huge upset when he beat the heavily favored Austin Nobles in the Semi-Final round. Sabine had studied Serg's stats on the World Surf League's website and found him to be a tough competitor. He was twenty-four and had been on the CT circuit for five years. It wouldn't surprise Sabine if the man beat Killmonger, which was a hard thing for her to admit, because he had shocked a lot of people by beating Slater, Kurosawa, and Nobles easily with his finesse on the board. The man had the ability to work a wave, no matter how bad it was. And as it stood, the waves were wrecking everyone the entire second week. A few heats had to be rescheduled because the swells were too rough to paddle in.

Sabine watched the two men battle their way out onto the line where they would pick off the waves they wanted. It would come down to sage wisdom against bulldozing youth. Once the heat started, Sabine had the feeling that whoever could stand up longer than eight seconds would win. The two men were being hammered. It was disheartening to watch her fave fall over and over. The wipeouts were savage, the foamy white water pulling both men under and spitting them out like chewed up tobacco. Sabine found herself standing with her hands jammed up against her mouth.

"C'mon Killmonger, dig deep in that shit," she whispered.

Colin, Lono, and two other safety team members on jet skis zoomed around to assist if needed. She screamed like a wild woman when he dropped into a stellar tube and shot out like a champ. He scored a bunch of nines for it even though she felt he deserved a ten for the execution and the finesse at the end. Before the foghorn was blown to signal the end of the final heat, Killmonger snatched a crazy wave that reared up fast and Sabine held her breath watching him.

"C'mon…c'mon…c'mon…oh God!"

Her hand went over her mouth when she saw him slip and smash into a wall of water that covered him for a long time.

"Get him…get him…" she murmured watching Colin's jet ski get caught and pushed away by a wide swathe of powerful whitewater.

The water almost flipped Colin over but he was able to maneuver his jet ski around to a safer spot to wait for another chance to bounce in and try to grab—

She couldn't see Killmonger at all.

Her eyes scanned the surf and she couldn't find the bright yellow rash guard or vest he wore.

"Erik…" she whispered.

"There he is!" Stacy shouted pointing.

Erik struggled. Something was wrong with him.

Lono's jet ski bounced and caught air trying to get to Killmonger. Sabine moved closer to the middle of a worried crowd. Erik dragged himself onto the rescue board and Lono brought him to safety. Sabine hung back as the Health Techs assisted him. A doctor ran up to him too. Erik was able to walk fine, but he held his left arm stiffly and close to his waist.

So many people shouted and hollered and cheered for him. Sabine could care less about his score or if he had won. She wanted to make sure he was okay. Running up to him she tried to look at his arm but his right hand slipped around her and pulled her in close. Their eyes met. There was something wild in his that thrilled her and when his lips crashed down upon hers, she thought of nothing else except kissing him back. His tongue forced her mouth open and they shared a moment together. She couldn't hear a thing except for her own heartbeat.

When he released her lips, she gave a heavy exhale.

"I believe you won," she whispered to him.

"I love you, Sugar. You make this win sweeter."

He kissed her forehead and she let him get taken away by the medical staff so he could be evaluated. Colin was all smiles and she gave him a high five. When their hands touched her mind flashed to him and Karla together. Like Killmonger, Sabine hadn't been around Colin either since the Sex Card night. His eyes were excited by Killmonger's win, but she sensed something else behind them too as he looked at her.

"They're taking him away," Stacy said.

Sabine left Colin's side and ran over to the medic station.

"Erik!"

He turned to look at her. His left arm was in a black sling.

"They're taking me to the hospital for x-rays."

"Dislocated?" Colin asked.

"Maybe a sprain. They want to check for any torn ligaments."

"Fuck," Sabine said.

"Meet me over there after I get off the stand," Erik said to her.

Sabine and Stacy gathered up their personal items from where they had been sitting. Erik was rushed through a winning speech as photos were taken of him and Serg. He was whisked away by ambulance and Sabine snagged a cab with Stacy to follow him.

Waiting in the hospital lobby for two and a half hours, she finally received a text from Erik.

"How is he?" Stacy asked.

Sabine closed her eyes and gave a sigh of relief.

"His shoulder is sprained. He didn't tear anything just stretched it really bad."

Ryan walked in with Colin holding her cell to her ear.

"He sprained it," Sabine said.

Relief popped on their faces. Erik walked out wearing a new light blue arm sling.

"Doctor says two to three weeks of healing time. I have to wear this for at least a week."

"I'm so glad it wasn't worse," Ryan said.

"I'm starving," Erik said rubbing his stomach.

Colin drove them to a nearby food truck and they ate spam sushi, garlic shrimp, and white rice leaned up against Colin's car. Sabine held Erik's food container for him as he scarfed down his meal. She ate her fill when he was finished.

"You look exhausted," she said.

"I am. These painkillers are making me sleepy," he said.

"Let's get you back to the bungalow," Colin said.

Sabine was happy that the house was empty of all of his friends so he could crawl onto his bed and rest. Stacy sat on the porch with Ryan trying to glean some personal assistant tips from Ryan. They spent time looking at scheduling software on Ryan's computer. Sabine sat in the living room with Colin watching TV on low volume.

"Karla has been around you guys a lot," she said.

Colin stared at her with a wicked smile on his face.

"Yeah, she has."

"You like her?"

He chuckled.

"Sugar, you saw her with me."

"You weren't shy about letting me see everything either."

"Hey, you walked in on me. When I'm knee-deep I'm not stopping for anything."

Her eyes glanced over at Erik's closed bedroom door.

"Has Erik slept with her?"

The smile on Colin's face faded.

"I don't think he has—"

"Would he?"

"Not with you around."

"If I weren't here, would he?"

"He hadn't seen you in months…and as far as I know he hasn't been seeing anyone else now that he's free…and this is our funhouse…"

Colin's eyes turned serious.

"Yeah. Under different circumstances, he would've fucked her. Or any of those other women we had here."

"Are you still messing around with her?"

"A few times. It's all fun. Nothing serious."

She glanced around the bungalow.

"You like being a bachelor, huh?"

Colin sat back and took in his own place.

"I do. One day I'd like to settle down…maybe. Gotta have the right woman for that."

"Have you been close to settling down?"

"Um, maybe once or twice. It's difficult to find companions that can get used to all the traveling I do. I live here for part of the year so long-distance relationships don't last from the mainland."

His eyes regarded her gently.

"I'd like to have a house full of kids running around here in the future. A wife. Family trips. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You want to get married and pop out some little ones?"

"Noooo."

Colin stared at her with surprise in his eyes.

"For real?"

"I don't want to be tied down like that. I've seen a lot of women give up their dreams to have kids and lockdown in one place with a husband or partner. I want to travel and hook up with whoever when I feel like it—"

"But you and ole boy in France…and E…"

"Me and Alex are done. And Erik…he um…it's a tricky situation. I'm trying to figure us out. It's changed now that he's divorced. We can move different now."

"He loves you."

"Yeah, he does."

She couldn't help the grin that broke out on her face.

"He's not the only one."

Sabine felt her heart almost stop. Colin moved his face closer to her.

"I know you two haven't solidified anything yet. I'm not trying to interfere in any of it, but I want you to know that you have options, Sugar."

"Colin…"

"You have to know that I've been feeling you from day one. I held back when E said you needed to concentrate on making moves. I respected all that. I watched him fall in love with you knowing that I was already there too. All your attention was on him so I just let it ride."

Sabine's face grew hot from the open confession.

"I know my feelings are one-sided. I'm no dummy. Erik is my boy and I love him like a favorite step-brother, but I can't deny what I feel just because he's my friend."

She touched the back of her neck and felt a layer of sweat growing there.

"When you walked in on me and Karla, I didn't stop because I wanted you to see me. Straight up. I can put it down. I can also guide you in this career if that's what you want too. He's not the only one who can make you happy. I come with fewer problems too."

Sabine shook her head. It was all so out in the open. Colin touched her hand.

"Please don't feel any pressure to say or do anything about what I'm telling you. I've been wanting to share all this since Marina's birthday. But you went and got a new man and moved away. I just kept an open ear for you to call me whenever you wanted—"

"Colin, I—"

"I just want you to know where I stand. I'm in love with you. He's in love with you. That's all it is, Sugar."

"That's a lot to lay on me."

"It's just the truth. I can't deny how I feel. I've got nothing to lose by telling you this openly. I look at you and I want to be the one that shares in your victories and your losses. I want to be the one you run to when you have trouble or need some good loving. I could give you no less than what you deserve. Being around you makes me happy. I want to see you happy too."

"I'm going to get something to drink—"

Colin's lips pressed into her left cheek like a soft promise of forever.

"No pressure," he whispered in her ear.

She stood quickly and walked into the kitchen. Grabbing a soda, she popped the tab on it and drank it standing near the kitchen sink.

Colin had always been cool with her. Overly gentle in the past when he worked with her practicing tow-in surfing. Whereas Erik came off gruff and demanding when he coached her, Colin was the opposite. He had qualities that she found sexy, just like Erik, and he was being factual with his assessment of his lack of baggage compared to her hero. Life was really testing her. Offering her two viable partner choices.

Her attraction to Colin was undeniable, but Erik blinded her so much with his largesse that it eclipsed Colin.

Sabine stayed in the kitchen for a long time thinking about Colin.

Did Erik know that his best friend felt that way about her?

###

Sabine gave Stacy the day off to shop and relax while she dashed off to island-hop at four in the morning.

She met Erik and his crew at the airport where his chartered plane waited for them to board. They all watched her approach with her covered surfboards. One was a heavy wide board for big waves and the other a tow-in board that she was thinking of breaking in. All of his friends surfed and their gear was packed away on the plane for the trip to Maui. Erik planned on coaching Sabine from a boat. They had worked out intricate hand signals for each other. Colin called his local surf buddies at Pe'ahi to rent a watercraft so he and his friends could switch out patrolling for themselves and surf.

She was cordial with Colin, still reeling from his confession of love. He acted like he always did when he saw her walk up to the plane from the tarmac. She sat next to Erik on the short thirty-minute plane ride that crossed one hundred miles of water. Erik kept his face nuzzled against her neck the entire time. Sabine did nothing but sit and stare outside the window. She could feel Colin's eyes on her from the back and she felt self-conscious being affectionate with Erik. He held her hand on her lap and tried to kiss her a few times, but she only allowed modest pecks on the lips trying not to bring attention to their snuggling.

"I want you to stay with me tonight," he whispered in her ear.

"I can come to the house now?"

"No more parties."

"Hmmm."

"I want to talk. We have a lot more catching up to do before we go back home."

She looked away from him. He squeezed her hand.

"What is it? You don't want to talk about things?"

"We need to talk. We do."

"You worried about me kissing you in public yesterday?"

"I just wanted us to be private for a little while. People are making up stories about me leaving Alex for you. It's too much too soon."

"That's what happens when two well-known people get together. Your life becomes public fodder no matter how much you try to keep it hidden or private."

"Well, I'm not that famous yet."

"You were on The View. You danced in a music video. Your face is on the side of a building in Times Square—"

"What?"

Erik pulled out his cell and swiped open a file.

"That's you. Karla sent it to me this morning."

Sabine grabbed his phone and stared at her image riding a wave in Australia in the middle of a hard turn, her fingertips gliding across foam and the most intense expression on her face. A giant Maverick logo ran across the top in big purple and silver lettering.

"I almost ran that guy over," she said.

She thought about the surf photographer who kept thrusting his camera up toward her whenever she caught a wave and tried to make fast bottom turns. She knew it was Australia because of the eggshell-white wetsuit she had on.

Her hair was in tight wet ringlet curls and her diamond nose ring looked like a glowing white light on her face that matched the glowing white of her Maverick safety vest and the white of the foamy water swirling behind her. It was a beautiful contrast to her very brown slick skin. Erik used his index finger to tilt her chin up to his face.

"That billboard is wavy. You look amazing."

He kissed her lips.

"They didn't tell me about this," she said.

"Insider information. They'll hit you up soon."

"You making besties with Karla now?"

"Don't start. Strictly business."

The plane dipped and Sabine clutched Erik's right arm.

"A little turbulence," he said peeking out of the window.

They landed with a slight bump on the runway and Sabine kept hold of Erik. She didn't like riding in small planes.

They rented jeep 4x4's and picked up plenty of water and snacks for the trip.

Sabine rode with Colin, Kirkland, and Malik to go to the walking route with their boards, while Erik and the three other guys drove off to catch the boat that would stay out to sea watching the surfers.

"Parking is getting stacked up already," Colin said as they passed by stores and a few parking areas. Sabine could see on the left-hand side wave breaks. They were huge. Bigger than the ones over in Oahu.

"Nervous?" Colin asked looking over at her.

"A little."

"There'll be some tow-in peeps but nowadays, the hardcore heads prefer to paddle in. Back in the day, no one did that. Laird came through with the tow-in game and that became the big thing for a minute."

"Times change. People have better equipment."

"Use your vest if you need to. Dudes be out here thinking that they can be reckless because they can pull some tabs and buoy up like magic, but fools still drown out here. Don't push yourself too hard. You're still learning."

Sabine nodded and kept her eyes glued to the massive waves.

Soon they were passing a large patch of green lawn as a cemetery came into view.

"We have an old buddy of ours in there. Cha Cha. He was dragged down to the reef and no one could get to him fast enough. Happened seven years ago—"

"Don't tell her that while we're about to go hit these sticks," Malik said from the back seat.

Cars were lined up on both sides of the road as they drove closer to where they would have to make the trek down to the beach. They turned left and followed a line of cars until they were able to find a parking spot.

They slathered on sunblock and put on their gear. Sabine decided to take her regular board and just wear her bright orange rash guard, tight black-thigh length swim shorts and her pumpkin-colored Maverick safety vest with the double pull tabs. They waxed their boards and Sabine checked to make sure her quad fins were secure.

"Be ready for a workout before we even hit the water," Colin said winking at her.

They trudged along a dirt path with other people. The coppery colored dirt turned into slushy mud. It took almost an hour downhill just to reach the Pe'ahi overlook where crowds had gathered on the cliff to watch the big wave riders.

Drinking water and snacking on trail mix, Colin pointed out some boats and watercraft.

"That's Erik and them," Colin said looking through a small pair of binoculars around his neck. He let her look through them. A bright orange boat bobbed out in the ocean. There were several other boats, plenty of emergency watercraft for rescues, and a yellow helicopter flew overhead.

Colin pulled out a small tube of liquid from his backpack and took Sabine's water bottle from her. He dropped about ten drops into it and shook it up for her.

"Liquid electrolytes," he said.

She gulped it down.

"Tastes like metal," she grimaced.

"Better than Gatorade. Sugar-free with more magnesium and less salt."

She gulped down more.

"Save some of that for later," he said.

She patted her pack.

"I have a hydration pack in here."

"Good."

They watched the burly waves break far below them.

"Let's go," he said lifting up his board.

Trudging down toward the beach through palm trees and so much greenery, they met up with some other white male surfers when they finally reached a black rocky bottom where the water licked at their feet with light sprays. Sabine sat down to rest without her board and took in the waves.

"Windy," she said.

"Yep," Malik said adjusting his vest.

"Big ass bombs. They all look over twenty feet," she said.

"Triple-headers for sure," Colin replied.

"A lot of barreling and spit coming from the waves," Kirkland added.

Sabine inhaled.

Fear was the mind-killer.

Her thoughts tried to calm the nerves in her body. The last thing a surfer could be was afraid. Fear made people stop thinking correctly. Made them panic. Fear made people make bad choices and drown. She closed her eyes and tried to remember her Dad's favorite science fiction movie, Dune. There was as a scene where the hero, Paul Atreides, had to stick his hand in a box and not move it no matter what he felt. If he took his hand out of the box, he would die. The trick was to overcome his fear of the unknown. But Sabine was staring at the known.

In that movie, Paul recited lines that stuck with Sabine all her life.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

The men around her were deep inside their own thoughts. She watched the white guys go in first and watched their struggles to paddle out, the foamy swash shoving them back when they were barely three feet from the rocks. They turtle rolled immediately.

"Ready?" Colin asked.

Sabine nodded. She wished Killmonger was there so she could siphon a lot of calm from him better. Picking up her board, Sabine carefully watched her barefoot steps on the slippery loaf-sized rocks. They gave the white guys time to move away and it took a while for them to even get a good distance out to sea. She was already tired just looking at them. No wonder Laird Hamilton said fuck it and had a friend pull him out on a jet ski. This was fucking labor-intensive.

Her eyes sought out the bright colored orange boat Erik was on. He was out there waiting for her to test her abilities. If he wasn't injured, he would be there by her side. She took two deep rapid breaths and stepped to the edge of the rocks letting the cool water kiss her toes. Pulling two more deep breaths in, she leaped onto her board as it splashed into the swash.

###

The boat Erik rented was tossed around a bit before the hired Skipper eased them away from the whitewater. He could see Sugar paddling out with strong strokes. She was pummeled as she turtle rolled following Colin, Kirkland, and Malik. Kirkland was the weaker of their group and took longer to make it to the line.

There were so many surfers out trying to catch the bombs that were driving in hard. Erik envied them all. The painkillers in his backpack had him considering jumping in just to ride a couple of waves. He signaled for Sugar to move around a shoulder and he worried that she would get too tired before attempting her first charge. The wind lifted surfers off of their boards and sent them flying over giant walls of relentless watery aggression.

Sugar sat on her board and watch dude after dude charge forward. She kept looking behind her and Erik sensed that she was scared. The intimidation factor was real and the waves had jacked up higher and moved faster.

"C'mon girl," he hissed under his breath.

Colin eased up near her and spoke to her. She shook her head and dipped her fingers in the water.

"Look at Kirkland! Oh shit, nigga got ate up!" Alton shrieked.

C.J. was too drunk to surf, and their other friend Len was busy taking pictures and videos with his phone out on the jetski they rented floating near their boat in his wetsuit. They all laughed and watched Kirkland battle to make it out of the way of other surfers. Folks were just snatching waves two to three people at a time. There was no telling how long the large sets would last so everyone was taking advantage.

"Is she going to go?" C.J. slurred watching Sugar bob in the water.

Erik swirled his finger in the air and finally caught her attention. He held his arms out with palms open and she turned her head away.

"Baby, just take one…" he grumbled.

Sugar whipped her head back and he saw what she was staring at.

"Okay, here we go," Erik encouraged.

She took off like a rocket and popped up fast against the wind. Her drop was clean, but the wind was stronger and the wall steep. She fell in and Erik held his breath. This was probably one of her biggest waves ever, and how she handled a wipeout would set the tone for the rest of her time out there.

He saw her curly head of hair break out from under the foam and she turtle rolled back out to her position. Erik breathed easier finally. Although she fell, the ride brought back her confidence. She gave him a thumbs up and he flashed her the West Coast hand sign she always used when she competed to let fools know who they were fucking with. It sparked something in her and she took off again. Len road out to watch her closely on this one. The wave was larger. Sugar drove down the face of the thirty-foot wall and whipped her board to the left.

"Yes!" Erik shouted.

"Oh, she's in the green room!" Alton hooted.

A wide tube opened up and Sugar shot down into it before she was obscured by the curve of the tube as the offshore winds drove up over everyone else. A huge slab of whitewater covered her.

"Did she wipeout?!" C.J. squawked.

There were so many jetskis floating about, Erik worried she would get run over—

"There she is!" he shouted.

Sugar shot out from an unbelievable amount of whitewater that had been knocking other dudes off. She had a choppy hop across it before she did a kickflip in the air, her 360 seeming to hang with the wind.

"Oh, she sick. Your girl is sick!" Alton shouted giving Erik a pound with his good hand.

Colin paddled over to Len and they switched jobs, Colin taking over the jetski and allowing Len to catch some bombs.

"She's getting the hang of it," Colin said zipping alongside the boat.

"Party wave!" C.J. pointed.

They watched several surfers drive down a wave together before falling over.

"Fuck around and smash into each other," Erik grumbled.

Three hours went by and Sugar's mastery grew better. She stayed on her board about seventy-five percent of the time, pretty much doing the average as the men out there. The next sets that Erik saw rolling in made him uncomfortable and he signaled to Sugar to lay low.

She flipped him off and ignored his warning.

When she fell over and got dragged for filth three times in a row, he flipped her off and she waved her hand at him in a dismissive fashion. Within the next hour, several surfers called it quits. The swells were out of their league. Erik thought Sugar could handle it, and she did. But then she started looking behind her to size up the wave as she went down and she started falling over. Whatever confidence she had gained was now shaken away. She wasn't popping up fast enough.

"What the fuck are you doing!" he yelled at her.

The things they had discussed together the night before about the Jaws breaks seemed to go out the window. He had her study the natural wave patterns, had her understand what was under the water so she would know how to bail and fall if she needed to. Discussions of how to control her body going at faster speeds she had never ridden before just disappeared like she had forgotten everything he showed her. If they were playing baseball instead of surfing, she would be hitting terrible bunts and running to third base instead of first.

Malik and Kirkland had already climbed aboard the boat to rest. Colin paddled over and hooked his board onto the jetski and climbed behind Len.

"Tell her to come in," Colin suggested.

Colin was breathing hard and his eyes were red. Erik ignored him and signaled to Sugar to go back and try again.

"E, man, I'm telling you. Call her back in. It's getting too wild out there. It's too heavy and too fast right now."

"That's how she'll learn."

He could hear the thunderous roar of the water breaking over the deep-water reef. Pe'ahi was showing its teeth now, showing Sugar why it was nicknamed Jaws.

"There it is…take it…charge after that bitch…"

Erik watched Sugar take off on a big one.

"It's a lefty girl…this one is a lefty…shit….no, no, no…left not right…fuck…make that board move…dammit!"

Before their eyes, the seemingly perfect wave morphed into something hideous and Sugar hesitated. The monster wave swallowed her in a nasty closeout taking out several surfers with her in a giant cloud of whitewater.

"Shit!" Alton yelped.

"Go get her!" Erik shouted

Len switched places with Colin driving the jetski. Erik helped Len get on board the boat as Colin sped along followed by several other emergency teams scooping up throttled bodies and their boards.

"I don't see her," C.J. said sobering up fast.

"There she is, she pulled on her buoy tabs," Erik said.

The wind and choppy backwash kept Colin from getting to her before she was sucked under another wave.

By the third undertow, Erik grew concerned.

"Fucking get her!" he screamed out.

She popped up again and Colin was able to retrieve her.

Sugar waved toward Erik to let him know she was okay, but she looked exhausted. When Colin brought her back, Alton and Len helped her get aboard.

"Take this," Colin said.

Alton jumped over and took over the jetski.

Colin stood near Erik as Sugar sat on the boat and coughed up water and wiped her mouth.

"That last one was a doozy!" she joked.

"What did I tell you about hesitating? When you do that, then bad shit happens. And why were you looking behind when you were going down? That's how people scare themselves and then they fuck up—

"Erik, chill," Colin said, "she's okay."

"This time. I saw you making stupid little mistakes. You in too deep into this thing to be doing amateur shit you did back in June!"

"I won't do it again. Next time I'll—"

"Might not be no next time!"

His roar had everyone on the boat flinching.

"I told you to tell her to come in. They were too big for her," Colin said.

"They weren't too big for her, she was acting like she was too big for them. You not at that level yet Sugar. Making bitch moves out there ain't it, Ma."

"Erik, damn," Colin barked.

"When a wave that size is moving in that direction, what did I tell you was the best thing to do in that situation?"

"Go left, or bail—"

"And what did you do?"

"Go right—"

"But you hesitated and got slammed. These big waves aren't like the ones you've won on. You can't be stupid out there! You can't act scared out there!"

"Erik, let it go," Colin said.

Erik wrenched his eyes away from Sugar and glared at Colin.

"You can speak to her better than that. She's learning—"

"She's a goddamn professional! The learning curve is doctorate level now," Erik barked.

"Yeah, but your tone is out of pocket, bruh."

"Fuck you! I'm her coach and this is how I do to make her cement this shit in her brain."

"All you're doing is showing her disrespect by yelling."

"I'm yelling because I'm upset with something that she could've prevented. Freak shit happens. My arm is in a sling, but I knew how to tuck and roll to lessen the damage—-"

"It's cool, Colin, he's right. I got scared and made a poor split-second decision—"

"He doesn't have the right to belittle you in front of everyone."

"I'm not trying to belittle you, Sugar—"

"Then change your tone," Colin said through gritted teeth.

Erik tilted his head and stared at Colin. His boy had his chest puffed out like he was ready to fight. Erik went for the jugular.

"If your coaches hadn't talked to you like you were too soft to handle power like that, maybe you'd be like me. Winning titles like me. Having a career like me. The fuck you think I'm called Killmonger for, huh nigga? I'm the fucking wave killer, son. Fearless. You were too scared to hang with me. I tried to teach you, but fear got into your head and you quit. How she gonna be the beast I know she can be if she gives into fear and hesitates on her greatness like you did? Nigga you could've been one of the best in the world. Easily. But you made stupid mistakes and caved in to fucking fear. I'm not letting my girl go out like that. If I gotta get up in her ass all loud to make her understand something that could save her, that's what I'll do. I'm her coach. Not you!"

"Erik, stop. Please."

Sugar tugged on his arm.

"Is this ya coach? Huh? Is this ya coach? Nah, I'm your coach," Erik proclaimed.

"You always throw that shit up in my face," Colin said. His voice was flat.

"It's just facts. I don't need you getting into her head and fucking it up with your bullshit."

"Maybe she needs some of my bullshit—"

"Hey now, hey now," Malik interrupted, "let's just pack it in and go have some fresh beers and tacos and shit—"

"…fuck you mean by that, nigga?" Erik growled, stepping closer to Colin.

"Colin, don't," Sugar said jumping up from her seat suddenly.

"Don't what?" Erik said.

His eyes darted between them.

"She doesn't have to put up with a bully and a cheat for a man. I told her she has options."

Erik's eyes squinted and his lips twisted up.

"Options? Whatchu mean options? What is he talking about Sugar?"

"Nothing!" she shouted pushing away from him and pulling off her wetsuit.

Colin stepped to Erik, shoving his chest against his, pressing up against Erik's sling. He whispered in Erik's ear.

"I love her too, nigga. And I might just take her from you."

Erik took one step back and bombed on Colin's head with his right fist.


	32. What You Won't Do For Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be starting another new Killmonger AU series in a month or so. It's called "Concrete Cowboys"  
> Cowboy!Erik Killmonger coming soon!

"My friends wonder what is wrong with me  
Well I'm in a daze from your love, you see  
I came back to let you know  
Got a thing for you and I can't let go

Some people go around the world for love  
But they may never find what they dream of

What you won't do, to do for love  
You tried everything but you don't give up  
In my world only you  
Make me do for love what I would not do"

Daniel Skyhigh McClain (cover) – "What You Won't Do For Love"

Erik's punch knocked Colin back against Malik.

Body enflamed with anger and feeling deceit all around him, Erik ran up on his friend and struck him once more in the jaw before Colin swung hard and knocked Erik into C.J. who stumbled and fell, tripping up Erik who tumbled down after him. Erik tried to stand up but the boat swayed tripping up his balance. He threw off the arm sling not even cognizant of the harm he could bring to the weakened limb. Their friends tried to pull them apart but Colin was too quick and shoved Erik against the side of the boat choking him. Erik punched Colin on the side of his head again with his right fist.

Sugar screamed for both of them to stop as Len and Alton did their best to pull them apart and keep her from interfering.

"You ain't gonna take shit, nigga!" Erik gasped with Colin's fingers around his throat.

"Fucking greedy bastard!" Colin growled squeezing his fingers tighter on Erik's neck.

From the corner of his eye, Erik saw Sugar run from them, and then he heard a thump and a loud splash in the water.

"Oh, shit, Sugar!" C.J. hollered.

Colin immediately released his grip and Erik fell to his knee gulping for air and rubbing his neck. His eyes went to the side of the boat.

"She jumped out here without a vest!" Alton shouted from the jetski.

With watery eyes and sharp burning pain in his left shoulder, Erik watched Sugar paddle out as Alton followed to try and stop her by blocking her path.

"Sugar, get back here!" Erik bellowed.

"Sugar!" Colin shouted.

The boat lifted on the ripples of a passing wave.

"Shit!" Colin said running toward the front of the boat and yelling for the Skipper to move them.

Erik stepped onto the seat at the back of the boat and dived into the water ignoring his pain and the sudden cold as he went after Sugar. She swiped at Alton's hand when he attempted to help her climb onto the jetski. She kept padding toward the impact zone and a new set was rolling in.

"It's dangerous right now, Sugar!" Alton shouted to her.

Erik grabbed for her hand and she fought him in the water.

"Leave me alone! I want to go home!"

"Get back on the boat…baby…please—"

Her red eyes were full of anguish and Erik felt ashamed of how he behaved in the heat of the moment lashing out at Colin.

"Sugar, come with me. We can work all this shit out—"

A rogue wave swept over them all, knocking Alton off of the watercraft.

Erik only had a small amount of air in his lungs as he made a desperate fight to return to the surface. When he raised his head out to take a deep breath, he saw that Alton was able to climb back onto the jetski, but Sugar had disappeared under the whitewater without resurfacing. Erik climbed onto the back of the jetski and Alton took off.

"Go back!" Erik screamed with his head twisted back scanning the water for Sugar.

Two more waves rolled over her and Erik felt icy fear course through his veins

"I see her!" Alton yelled pointing to her board being tussled about. Without a vest, she could get stuck down below because of exhaustion.

Relief came to him when he saw that Sugar found her way back to the surface and climbed flat on her board, letting the next wave push her toward shore. She wasn't bothering with any attempts to surf. She just wanted to get away. From them.

Erik watched her get closer and closer to shore.

"I can't take a chance with these waves," Alton said.

Sugar was halfway back to the beach.

Alton zipped them over to the boat which had moved a good distance for safety. C.J. and Len helped Erik back aboard. He sat on a side seat and a flash of pain ripped up his shoulder. He probably tore something. Kirkland helped him put his arm sling back on and he felt better once the limb was immobilized and snug against his chest again.

"Look like she made it back," Colin said.

Anger still held Erik in its grip as he stared at Colin. Deep down he knew his friend liked Sugar a lot, and he even suspected that his feelings probably swayed into the same territory Erik was swimming in. He couldn't blame his homeboy for that. Sugar just did that to people. Gathered them up and made them want to stay near her. That didn't bother him at all. It was the audacity to tell him to his face that he would take her away from him that raised his hackles. No one else heard Colin say that. Only Erik did. The smug tone in Colin's voice made Erik go ballistic.

C.J. gave Erik a blanket to wrap around himself as the Skipper drove the boat to a landing where they could disembark. The boat was quiet as all the men watched Alton follow along on the jetski.

Erik closed his eyes.

Sugar's eyes haunted him. The way she looked at him in the water. It was if she found him repugnant. Colin stayed away from him and both men avoided eye contact with one another. What was there to say? Everything was out in the open. He began to feel bad for berating Colin in front of everyone. It was the tired thorn in their relationship. Erik always feeling like Colin squandered his gifts because he was too chickenshit. All that wasted talent.

Erik cut to the quick, trying to think of how his therapist would help him approach his feelings about Colin. She would tell him to take the emotions he projected out and pulled them back inside to be examined internally with just his critical eye. Colin's assertion of stealing Sugar wasn't in his friend's nature. They had competed for women together even before he married Calista. Colin had even let Erik know his desire for Sugar, but then it became about the work of training her and Erik ignored it. Colin was seeing women during that time, so it wasn't that serious in Erik's mind. Colin was the one who told Erik to embrace his love for Sugar. Why would he do that if he really wanted her for himself? He could've stepped to her and there would be nothing Erik could do about it being a married man. It would suck like hell to lose her to his best friend, but he would have to stomach it as fate.

The thought of that made him humble himself. If Sugar chose Colin, Erik didn't know if he could stay friends with him. That woman wasn't like anyone they had been around over the years. There were always bad bitches to be had, and both he and Colin could pull some world-class babes…but Sugar? She was a different league. If he weren't attracted to her, Erik could honestly say he would still want her in his life as a friend. She was that dope. To be in love with someone who was a great friend too was the holy grail. He didn't want to lose her to anyone.

Loss.

Erik snatched hold of that. Pulled it in close as his eyes regarded Colin sitting adjacent to him. The man had his arms folded and his gaze was on the water.

Erik loved him. Loved him like the true brother he was in his life. He was the Godfather to his children. The person he confided his bullshit too and wasn't judged for it too harshly aside from the hard ribbing and occasional side-eye. Colin saw him through his up and downs in the surf world and Erik just wanted the world to know his homeboy was a champion too who gave it up…

Loss. Abandonment. Colin.

Erik held the thought even closer starting to feel like he was near the true root of his anger with the man. They had become pros together. Traveled the world together. Made love to beautiful women and partied hard. Together. Colin left all of that. Broke away from all of that and Erik.

Closer now.

Colin had left Erik alone in a competitive field where he needed to have someone like him by his side to navigate being the only one there. There were Black men across the globe entering the sport, a few in Brazil with African ancestry popping up here and there, but Erik, nay…Killmonger…he was the only one at the top. And it felt lonely. He hated when Black people still had to be the first Black anything because it put pressure on them to be perfect and not put shame on the race like his grandparents used to say. When Colin was with him and doing well, he wasn't alone and he had more fun then. When he left, Erik had to shoulder the success and spotlight by himself. He hated Colin for that, but the real problem was that Erik felt abandoned and had a hard time being the only one.

Their other surfing buddies who were pros helped him form a community, but Colin was his boy, his main man who really understood what it was like to be out there at Erik's level. Erik missed him. Needed him. And his stupid ass didn't know how to tell him all that without the fear of appearing weak or vulnerable to another man. Instead, he lashed out and highlighted Colin's faults whenever he felt jealous or angry. He was feeling both at that moment. Angry that another man found a treasure in Sugar as he had, and jealous that he might actually have a claim on her. Angry that Colin was not in the world with him, and jealous that the man seemed content with his choice. Sugar didn't refute anything the entire time they were on the boat and it frightened Erik. Perhaps she felt something for Colin too.

What a shitshow.

He glanced over at Colin again. The man was staring at him. There didn't seem to be anger in his eyes anymore.

"How's your arm?" Colin asked.

In the midst of Erik striking him verbally and physically, this nigga was still worried about his injured ass. Erik gave a small laugh and swiped his tongue on his bottom lip before he felt his eyes well up. He swiped at his lids with his right hand.

"You alright, E?" Malik asked.

Erik shook his head.

"No, I'm not," he said before tears fell in heavy plops onto his sling.  
"I was wrong for saying all that shit to you, Colin. It was fucked up and I did it to hurt you on purpose."

Colin did a double-take. So did all their friends.

Erik stood up and sat next to Colin. The boat was getting closer to where they would disembark.

"Man, I'm sorry," Erik said.

He dropped his eyes from Colin's face.

"I always talk about you being a quitter, but I was just pissed that you left me out here by myself. You found something that makes you happy away from me and I've resented it because I haven't found that happiness yet. I'm at the top of my shit and I don't even know if I like it anymore—"

"E—"

"Nah, lemme finish before I chicken out. Every time I brought up you leaving it was because I was upset with my own shit. Projecting and all that. I didn't know how to ask for help. I didn't know how to ask you for help with coping. I just used you like a punching bag…made you my whipping boy. It's fucked up—"

"Yeah, it is," Kirkland said.

"You had us too, Erik. All of us. You could've talked it out with everyone together," C.J. added.

"I think I needed to be your hero, y'know? The nigga that made it. It's not all it's cracked up to be looking at it from the outside."

Erik studied Colin's face.

"I know you're still pissed at me. I'm truly sorry for how I acted and what I said."

"You need to apologize to, Sugar," Colin said. His voice was even. His face looked a little tight.

Erik nodded his head.

"If you love her, then speak to her in a loving way. Everything about surfing doesn't have to be loud and bombastic, man. She's smart and soaks up stuff like a sponge. You can tell her what she needs to know with assertive kindness."

"Assertive kindness, huh?"

"Yeah, man."

Colin reached over for Erik's backpack and pulled out his painkillers.

"Here," Colin said putting a pill in his hand.

Erik took it and chewed it up dry, the acrid taste on his tongue making him grimace. They all remained silent as the boat disembarked and Kirkland dropped off the jetski. A Lyft was called when they made it back to the one 4X4 to help transport Colin, Kirkland, and Malik back to their jeep parked near the overlook.

Sugar wasn't there when they made it to the other 4X4. Erik and Kirkland made the trek to go look for her with Colin close behind them.

They found her halfway up from the beach sitting against a tree with her board next to her. She looked like she had been crying. Erik got on his knees next to her.

"Are you hurt at all?" he asked.

She shook her head and held it down.

"I just want to leave. You guys made me look bad in front of your friends. They probably hate me now—"

"That's not true, Sugar," Kirkland said.

She glanced up at him and wiped her eyes. Kirkland gave her a gentle smile,

"These two get into all the time. This ain't really new. You just happened to be there."

"But I was the reason why they were fighting."

"It wasn't all about you," Erik said.

"Yes, it was. Colin, you shouldn't have said all that to him. I wish you hadn't said anything."

She rested her face on her knees.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know the truth. I also knew it would get him mad. I was being a dick."

"I was too," Erik added.

"You're supposed to be best friends. Only corny niggas fight like that," she said.

"You're worth fighting for, girl," Erik said.

"We're not fighting anymore. We had some other words and we'll have to talk again man to man, but don't worry about being a wedge. We got other issues. I promise," Colin said.

Erik looked at Colin and he seemed sincere.

"I don't like how I'm feeling. I don't want to be around you guys right now. I just wanted to surf Pe'ahi and learn how to do big waves like you, Erik—"

She burst into tears and covered her face with her hands.

Erik helped lift her up with an assist with Kirkland.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…this is all on me…," he whispered in her hair as he kissed the side of her face.

Kirkland picked up her board and the hidden pack that she left behind on the beach. Erik led her back up the trail. It took them some time to make it all the way back to the other 4X4 where the other guys were waiting. Colin rode in the other jeep as Erik rode with Sugar for the drive back to the airport. Her tears had dried up then and Erik was in a weird headspace where he didn't know if either one of them wanted to be around him anymore. He and Colin would speak in private for sure about their personal issue, but he wasn't sure how they would play out the unwanted triangle.

On the chartered plane, Sugar sat next to C.J. and the other guys had her laughing and feeling better and he was glad for that. Colin stayed solemn and kept his dark shades over his eyes on the plane with his head resting against the window. Erik sat next to Len who did his best to keep Erik busy talking about food. In the blink of an eye, they were back on Oahu and heading back to Colin's bungalow in cabs. Sugar left the airport in her own separate cab and Erik felt his heart sink lower than it already was.

When they reached the bungalow, Erik made the one cab driver stay and he collected his things. His friends were surprised.

"I can't stay here, I'ma get a hotel room and just get my head together."

He faced Colin with a bit of trepidation.

"Can we talk after I get back to San Diego?" he asked.

"Yeah. I have to think about everything."

Their boys watched them. He could feel the nervous energy around them.

"I may need some time away from you," Colin said.

"Okay."

"You said a lot and I have to wrap my head around why you couldn't be honest with me from jump with your shit. I'm happy, Erik. I have a life that I love. I worked hard to put it together and it works for me."

"What about Sugar?"

"I meant what I said. I love her. She doesn't feel the same about me so you don't have to worry about that. She's stuck on you. But you have to treat her better. And you have to decide if you want to be her man or her coach, cuz nigga, real talk, you can't handle both. Not the way you talk to her."

Erik nodded.

"I don't know what she sees in your arrogant ass, but you'll lose her if you don't get it together, E. She's precious. She likes me and I will remain her friend if she'll have me like that, but if you fuck it up? Man, you will never find another one like her in the world and you would deserve to suffer for it."

"I hear ya—"

"I'm not playing nigga. You know she's your best thing. Outside of your children, Sugar could be your lifeline to get back to who you need to be to make your own damn self happy. Now get the fuck outta my house."

Colin shoved him out, half playful and half-serious. Erik picked up his boards first then went back for his roller bag and carried them to the taxi van.

"Where to?" The cab driver asked after assisting him.

"Wherever the closest hotel is."

###

Sabine walked through the TSA with her pink Fendi bag and her small black Fendi purse. She wore a pink knee-length coat to help lift her mood. She read somewhere in a fashion magazine that pink represented harmony and inner peace. She needed both desperately. She texted Stacy to let her know she would be boarding soon. Sabine gave her friend an extra three days alone in Hawaii as a Christmas gift. Stacy worked hard for her and she was grateful to her friend. It was going to cost her an additional fifteen hundred dollars for those three days, but it was worth it. Stacy uploaded new software with Ryan's help that streamlined her ability to organize Sabine's life. Stacy also put out fires on Sabine's social media about her and Erik by posting several pictures of herself kissing Erik on the mouth and cheek just like Sabine so it looked like Erik was just being bombarded with affection because of his win. Ryan was in on it too by hugging Erik with Stacy's pressure. The gossip blogs were still on fire in the tennis world about her and Alex, and she just accepted it. It was better to have eyes on her and Alex instead of her and Erik.

Erik.

Sabine stopped walking when she saw him walking across from her talking to himself. He adjusted an earbud and she saw he was talking to someone on his cell. She stood still to let him pass and her heart sank when she saw him go take a seat at the same gate number she was headed to. Of course, he would be flying the same flight as her back to San Diego. She couldn't avoid this nigga at all. There was no sense hiding from him. They would see each other eventually. She plopped down in the seat next to him. He was surprised to see her and his expression turned pensive. He pulled the buds from his ears.

They just sat and stared at one another.

Sabine tried to come up with something to say that was profound or humorous or anything that would break the ice. But all she could do was stare at his eyes and then his lips. Her eyes drifted down to his arm. He was wearing a black sling on his arm that seemed to have more reinforcement on it. She swallowed hard. He must've injured himself more jumping into the water after her.

"You fucked it up more, didn't you?" she asked.

"Some slight tearing—"

"Damn. Why did you jump in after me? You know you have to compete next month—"

"I don't care about that. I care about you."

"Stupid," she mumbled looking away from him.

"I'm stupid?"

"No, this whole situation."

Erik leaned in closer to her, his right arm rubbing up against her left arm.

"Listen to me. I love you. That's not going to change. I'm divorced. In the next two and a half months I have to raise my children without their mother. I'm going through some personal struggles, and I have to try and patch up my friendship with my boy. I want to help you. I'm a terrible coach—"

"No, you're not."

"Colin said I was too rough on you."

"Colin can't speak for me."

"I thought—"

"I'm impulsive. A bull in a china shop. The last two coaches I had let me do whatever. You are the only one that holds my feet to the fire. You don't coddle me and that's what I need. Somebody to stay on my ass. That works for me because I'm stubborn and you already know I'm hard-headed."

A slight smile curled his perfect lips.

Her eyes darted away for a moment.

"What?" he said.

"Colin told me how he felt before we went to Pe'ahi."

Erik's lips pressed in tight and he looked elsewhere too.

"You like him."

"I like him. But that's it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Will you guys be okay?"

He shrugged. She felt horrible.

"We have some things to work out."

"So do we."

"Yeah, we do."

He turned his face back toward her.

"You did really good for your first time at Pe'ahi."

"Jaws ain't no joke."

"You feel like you can handle more?"

"I do."

He touched his phone and turned his head slightly.

"Hey. I'm at the airport," he said.

Sabine pulled out her phone to fiddle with it so as not to appear like she was trying to listen. But she was.

"Yes, I have the doll. I bought you two because I didn't know which one you wanted. You forgot to text me after I sent you the pictures…yes, I'm coming home right from the airport. Yes…the trophy is on the plane. Yes, you can keep it in your room tonight. Lemme talk to Deuce…"

Sabine smiled. He was back to his regular domestic life.

The plane began to board. She stood up. Erik stood but struggled to get his backpack on his arm. Sabine picked it up for him.

"…okay, I gotta board the plane. I'll call you when I land…yeah…okay…okay…bye."

Erik turned his phone to airplane mode and stuck it in his pocket.

"Calista left yesterday," he said.

"How are they doing?"

"Nothing is different yet. Right now it feels like our usual trade-off so I don't think it's really sunk in for them yet. I see you have bumped up to the perks of first-class."

"I'm catching up."

They boarded and Erik sat eight seats in front of her. The in-flight lunch meal was blackened chicken alfredo and Sabine ate most of it. Her stomach was still full of her breakfast with Stacy. She stuck her head to the aisle and snuck a peek at the back of Erik's head. He watched a movie but he seemed distracted like her. Sabine felt like she was waiting for another shoe to drop. She fell asleep and once the plane landed and started allowing passengers off, it was Erik her nudged her awake when he walked past her seat. Someone helped him with his backpack and she followed behind him down toward baggage claims.

They rolled down an escalator and Sabine saw his children before he did since he had his head down to his phone.

"Daddy! Daddy!"

Marina squealed so loud when she saw Erik.

Deuce had a big grin on his face and both children tackled him when he made it to them.

"Watch my sling!" he said but totally ignored it himself.

"Sugar!"

Marina let go of Erik and threw her arms around Sabine's waist.

"Hey, baby shark!"

Sabine looked at Deuce. He grinned at her. Progress.

"Sugar, this is my sister, Yvette. Yvette, Sugar."

Sabine studied Yvette's face. She was lean with smooth dark brown skin and a beatific smile that she lavished on her.

"What are you guys doing here?" Erik asked, clearly pleased to see them.

"We knew you'd need some help," Deuce said.

"Let's go get the trophy and my Hawaiian Barbies!" Marina shouted.

She grabbed Erik's good hand and dragged him toward the luggage carousals. Yvette took Erik's computer from him. Sabine followed along quietly and listened to the kids chatter away, so happy their father was back.

"They drove me crazy waiting for the plane to land," Yvette said.

Sabine glanced over at Erik's sister.

"I can imagine. Two weeks is a long time to miss him."

"I'm just happy that they get to be with him for two months. They need a break."

Sabine was surprised by Yvette's candor.

"Calista got off okay?"

Yvette stared at Sabine as they stopped behind Erik and the children waiting for luggage.

"Yes. You've met her?"

"A few times. She brought Marina to my surf camp."

"Oh, I thought you knew Erik from the circuit."

"No. It was through Calista."

"Interesting."

The red warning light flashed and rang and the carousal cranked up to unleash bags from their plane. Erik was still occupied with Deuce and Marina. Sabine texted her parents that she was home safe.

"Hey, the kids want to grab tacos at your parents. You wanna roll with us?" Erik asked.

"I just texted them," she said grinning.

"You down? If you don't want to it's cool. You might be tired still. You had all that drool running down your mouth while you were sleep—"

"Shut up! I did not!"

She slapped his left shoulder by accident.

"Oh, shit! I'm sorry! Ugh, sorry for cursing in front of the kids!"

Sabine patted his arm making it worse. Erik started cracking up and moved his body back.

"Tacos!" Marina sang clinging to Erik's good hand.

"Papi has this brand-new shrimp taco with mango relish and bacon," Deuce said.

"Bacon and mangos?" Sabine said.

"I told him to add the bacon," Deuce said.

"That's all that boy has eaten the last two days over there. They should just pay you in food as much as you eat."

"Fellow foodie!" Sabine said and held her hand up for a high five.

Deuce gave her a smug grin and slapped her hand.

Erik's eyes never left hers and Sabine thought about it. She wanted to see her parents, and she hadn't been with Marina for a long time. She even missed Deuce. The children needed all the support they could handle with their mother being gone.

Sabine wanted to be with them. And her own family.

"Tacos it is," she said.


	33. Runaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik and his children travel with Sugar's family....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be in a couple of days!

"Been trying to  
Look the other way  
Like we never knew love  
Giving you this space  
All I've got to say stuck  
Spinning in my head  
I'm done, I'm not gonna pretend no

I should have known it'd be this hard  
To let you go, free my heart  
The little things drive me insane  
I'm not gonna run away no

I'm not gonna run away from our love  
I'm not gonna run away from our love  
I'm not gonna run away from our love  
I'm not gonna run away from our love"

Moonchild—"Runaway"

Sabine took a deep breath and walked into San Felipe's Taqueria.

"Baby!"

Belinda ran from behind the counter and grabbed a hold of Sabine and nearly knocked her off of her feet. Her face was smothered with kisses until her father came out of the kitchen wiping his hands on a paper towel.

"Aye, Mija. Good to have you home."

Cedro gave her a long hug and patted her back when he let her go. She saw her brother in the back helping out with the food prep line. He gave her a head nod. Erik's entire family walked in behind her and Papi stared at Killmonger.

"We had the same flight so Erik gave me a ride over here," she said.

"Mr. Moreno," Erik said holding out his hand.

Papi shook it but then his eyes went back to her.

"Hungry?" Papi asked.

"Tuh!" Belinda said hustling them all to the biggest table they had in the place right in the center of the restaurant.

"I told them about the mango bacon tacos," Deuce said.

Papi tapped Deuce's shoulder.

"They have been selling like crazy today. I had to run out and get more bacon and double the order of shrimp for next week."

"I told you bacon was the bomb," Deuce said, proud of his contribution.

"Mango bacon shrimp tacos for everybody then," Erik said.

Papi returned to the kitchen.

"I'll be right back, I need to use the restroom," Sabine said.

Voiding her bladder after a long flight, Sabine washed her hands and fluffed out her hair. When she opened the restroom door, her mother was waiting for her. Belinda stepped into the restroom with her and locked the door.

"Mommy."

"Are you okay? We read about Alex."

"I'm fine."

"What happened? Is it true about Erik?"

"I broke it off with Alex because he was a jerk."

"Are you and Erik together?"

"No. I took him back as my coach."

"Sugar, is that wise?"

"He's the best. Why wouldn't I use him? He knows how to get me to do well. None of my other coaches can get in my head the way he does."

"That's what I'm worried about."

"I'm doing my best. There's a lot going on and I just want to spend the holiday in peace."

"The kids…their Mom left."

"Yeah. She'll be gone for two and a half months or so."

"I couldn't imagine leaving you and Robert for that long."

"She's getting the help she needs."

"Is Erik's shoulder bad?"

"He strained it then had a little tearing."

"Deuce was so bummed when he heard about it. I think they were supposed to go to Disney World or something for the holidays."

"Not anymore. He has to heal in time for the World Tour next year."

"How are you?"

Belinda wrapped her arms around Sabine's shoulders.

"Tired. Mentally drained. I just want to go to Baja and forget everything and everybody."

"I hear you, baby. Your Dad needs a long vacation. I do too. We're packed up and ready to go."

"I need to do some laundry and service my van, but I'll have my stuff together tomorrow."

"I missed you so much."

Belinda squeezed her tight and they walked back to join the feast of tacos that arrived piping hot to the boisterous table. Sabine sat next to Deuce and picked up a taco. He studied her face.

"Can I try it in peace?" she asked.

He stared at her harder as she bit into it.

The creamy salmon-colored sauce and the yellow of the chopped mango hid the bacon bits smothering grilled shrimp without the batter. The white corn tortilla made her close her eyes. She missed so many home foods while she was in Paris. Licking her fingers, she glanced over at Deuce. His brown hair flopped over his eyes as he held his chin in his hand watching her face.

"Okay, maybe bacon and mangos can co-exist."

Deuce and her father whooped it up and everyone else chowed down.

Sabine was surprised that her father spent the entire time talking to Erik about Pipe Masters and Pe'ahi. Her mother chatted enthusiastically with Yvette and the kids just stuffed their faces. Robert joined them and an hour went by. The next thing she knew her mother was talking to Erik about his arm and her Dad was telling Yvette about San Felipe and Puertocitas and how he can make the best fish tacos straight out of the ocean. Another thirty minutes rolled by and Erik looked at her realizing that his family and her family had ignored them both and were now having several conversations at once.

Robert brought them churros and flan while her parents went back to the kitchen. Erik moved to sit next to her.

"So much has been going on since I've been gone," she said.

"Yeah. How does it feel to be back?"

"Good. I missed everyone. I miss this food."

His eyes were gentle-looking and he watched his children joke with Robert until Marina walked over and crawled onto his lap flinging her arms around his neck.

"I miss my Muffin hugs," he said kissing Marina's forehead.

Erik hugged his daughter tight and Sabine felt comfort seeing him be a Dad. All the different sides of him she had seen in eight months made him fully human to her. Her hand ran up his arm and she pulled back suddenly when she realized what she was doing. It just came second nature to her. Touching him. Marina rested her head against his shoulder and he stared at Sabine like he wanted to just give her a gentle kiss. Like a couple would after a long day.

"I better get them home," he said.

"I need to get my stuff out of your car and off your roof."

He started to stand up.

"Relax, give me your keys, I'll have Robert help me," she said.

He handed her the keys and she grabbed her brother for assistance. Deuce tagged along to help out. Belinda told her that the boy grew close to her brother while his Dad was gone. He even went surfing with him.

Stacking her things inside her van and locking up Erik's car, Sabine sent Robert inside with the keys. She wanted a moment alone with Deuce.

"You doing okay, Deuce?"

"Yeah. Sucks we can't go to Florida though."

"Is Marina okay?"

"So far."

"Your Aunt is really cool."

"Yeah. We never got to see her that much. I like having her around. She's funny. She cusses a lot!"

"I noticed."

His eyes darted away for a second and then he took on a serious expression.

"I saw you kiss my Dad. When he won."

Sabine touched the back of her neck.

"Yeah…um…I was excited that he won. Got a little carried away."

"You like him?"

"I do. He's going to coach me again—"

"No, I mean…like him-like him. More than a friend."

"I've been a fan of your Dad for a long time—"

"Sugar! Hey, you two come in here real quick," Belinda said opening the back door of the restaurant.

She threw away a bag of trash and held the door open for them.

Sabine took that distraction to get away from Deuce fast. Inside the dining area, Erik was standing up and holding Marina's hand. Yvette carried a bag of food to go. Papi stood next to Yvette. Belinda went over to Cedro and he put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close so that they were hip to hip.

"Erik, I was talking with my wife in the kitchen and we know you had big plans for Deuce and Marina, but since you're injured…we were wondering…if you would like to…we'd like to invite your family to come spend the Christmas and New Year's holiday with our family in Baja. We have plenty of room at our beach home, and plenty of fun stuff that we do. It's not Disneyworld, but we have plenty of children there for your kids to play with, and we party hard, swim, fish, visit the hot springs, sleep under the stars, make music, shoot our own fireworks…it's a big ten-day celebration. You can heal and the children can have fun. I think it's better than Disney World."

Sabine was stunned.

Their clan went to Baja four times a year, and it was a family and close friends only destination. Erik's eyes stared at her parents, and then he looked at her. Deuce was about to leap out of his skin with excitement. Marina bounced next to him.

"Say yes, Daddy, please!" she begged.

"Think about it. We're leaving in two days. If you would like to go, just pack up some things, including jackets and warm clothes. Santa Klaus knows how to get there," Belinda said.

Deuce rolled his eyes, but Marina was over the moon at the thought of St Nick flying to find them.

"If he doesn't go, I would like to come myself," Yvette said.

They all laughed, but Erik was still hesitant.

"I'll think about it and let you know sometime tomorrow," he said.

"Dad, come on! This will totally make up for Florida," Deuce pleaded.

Erik had full custody. He could take the children out of the country for a vacation. His eyes sought hers out again. Sabine was torn. She wanted him to say yes, but it would mean constant scrutiny from her family. But it would also mean they could spend ten days together talking about surfing.

"Pretty please?"

Marina was really pulling all the stops.

Erik looked at her father and Papi was so open. Sabine was still in shock.

"Okay, we'll come to Baja with you."

The explosion of shouts from, Deuce, Marina, and Yvette startled Sabine. They said their goodbyes and Sabine wanted to walk them out, but she decided to stay prudent. She also wanted to speak to her parents.

"Mommy…Papi…hold up," she said stopping them from going back to work. An influx of customers made Sabine pull them to the side for privacy.

"Why?" she asked.

Papi glanced at Belinda.

"You both admonished me to stay away from him. Why would you invite him to spend ten days with us…with his family even…I don't get it."

"You don't want him to come?" Papi asked.

"I do…I…"

She couldn't explain how she felt.

Belinda stroked her arm.

"We talked about how the children must feel. Not having their mother around and being with their Dad full-time now. Change is hard, especially during the holiday. We thought it would help them to be around fun people and to maybe ease them into a new life. We still have some reservations about your call to work with him again…but he's divorced now and we want to see who he really is," she said.

"Papi, did Mom talk you into this?"

"No. It was my idea," he said.

"I don't know what to say. It was an incredibly generous offer to him."

"Well, your Dad kinda bought a bunch of presents for Deuce and Marina—"  
"I want to see them open them!" he said.

"You two are crazy. I'm going to the house," Sabine said.

She turned away but stopped.

"Thank you for doing this for them."

"Get out of here. We'll see you in the morning," Cedro said.

Sabine hugged them both, then left quickly.

Sitting in her van, she allowed the wave of emotions coming down on her wash through. After twenty minutes, she picked up her cell phone and called Erik.

He answered after the first ring.

"Hey," she said.

She could hear the children in the background.

"I should've waited until later to call you. I forgot you haven't seen Deuce and Marina for a long time."

"You're good, they're just playing with the gifts I brought them. We can talk."

"I didn't know my parents were going to invite you. I'm glad you agreed to go. It is a lot of fun."

"They actually saved me from a lot of grief. I was trying to figure out what we could do with my arm messed up. They could always do Belmont, but they see that every other weekend."

"If you change your mind, it's okay—"

"Nah. I want us to be there…with you."

"I can text you some stuff that you should bring. We take my van and my Dad's SUV. We load up a lot of stuff at the border to take down to my relatives. It's a long drive, but it's fun. You and your family can ride with me."

"Okay."

The children's voices grew louder and Marina's squeals made Sabine smile.

"I'll let you go. Sounds like they love what you brought them."

"See you in two days," he said.

Sabine hung up and sat a little longer in her car. The very visceral feeling of a shift came over her. Most people lived life and missed the imperceptible and very real change that just happened, but Sabine could feel it, physically feel the shift. She knew at that moment that the trip would change her life. She had no clue if the outcome would be good or bad, but she knew without a doubt that she and Erik were stepping into something life-altering.

She was scared.

But open.

###

"That's too much ice!"

Sugar's mother fussed with Cedro as he poured a bag of ice over the various meats inside a large cooler they bought at the Albertson's at the Calexico border. Erik watched Sugar pour another bag of ice over perishables in another big cooler as his children snacked on ice cream cones and stood next to Sugar's van.

Two days before Christmas Eve, and the weather was warm with a slight breeze blowing warm air around them. The Moreno family knew how to pack and organize goods like professionals. Both vehicles were stacked and packed with food, gifts, firewood, bottled water, luggage, liquor, blankets, and a mixed breed German Shepard named Butchie who sat quietly on the floor of Sugar's van wagging its tail and waiting for his kids to drop any ice cream that melted quickly in their hands.

"You won't be able to close that thing," Belinda said.

Cedro spread ice cubes around in the cooler, tossing out a few pieces until the cooler lid finally closed all the way.

"There!" he said.

"All that ice wasted," Belinda huffed kicking the loose cubes away from their SUV.

Gassed up and tires checked one last time for full inflation, they all divided up into the vehicles and drove toward the border crossing. Two hours earlier they had visited family on Belinda's side of the family who lived in El Cajon. The drive took two hours to get to Calexico and it would take about four hours to drive to San Felipe, and then another hour or so to drive to their beach home in an area known as Carisso that was in between the small towns of San Felipe and Puertecitos. It was a desert and beach culture and Eric felt comfortable allowing Sugar's family to guide them on the adventure.

Erik felt ease and calm in allowing Cedro to be the unofficial leader of their group with Belinda being the overall General over him. It was fun watching Sugar turn into a dutiful daughter who teased her younger brother but also became Aunt-like making sure his children were comfortable with the time and distance it was taking to get there. Yvette was a little nervous about the bathroom situation across the border. Sugar had warned them all that whenever they used the bathroom across the border, they would have to get used to not throwing toilet paper into the toilet bowls. The septic systems in San Felipe were not made to handle too much toilet paper so people threw them in the garbage cans next to the toilets. Marina and Deuce's noses turned up for a moment until Sugar explained why it was done that way to smooth over the cultural differences and etiquette. Yvette almost came undone when she learned that Sugar's family had an actual outhouse behind their beach home.

"We have two toilets inside our house that you can use to pee and stuff, and they flush, but we have a small septic tank, so you'll have to poop in the outhouse," she told Yvette.

"Does it smell?" Yvette asked.

"Sometimes in the summer or when it's really hot, but you get used to it. Most times you don't smell anything."

Yvette's face became pinched and Erik bought her a bunch of biodegradable toilet paper and wet wipes. He glanced back at his sister in the back of the van. Yvette's eyes watched the scenery as they drove on a two-lane highway. To the left side of the van was the Sea of Cortez and a wide swathe of dried cracked earth where the sea had receded from the land years before. On the right side of the road was the desert with cactus and other desert shrubs.

Sugar was a careful driver following behind her father. She played Deuce's music, which made him happy as he watched the world pass by. Marina held her new Hawaiian dolls in her lap and was fast asleep with her head leaned up against her Aunt's shoulder. Both his children had an opportunity to talk to their mother before they left before Calista went on lockdown.

His ex-wife was not pleased to know he would be with Sugar's family. He didn't want to lie to her and he let Cedro speak to her so she would know they would be with a responsible family. It was awkward for Erik to watch the man speak to a woman he left, especially when he was in love with the man's only daughter. Erik was curious to know what was in the man's head to want to bring the Stevens clan around his own. He did his best to keep his interactions with Sugar platonic, but it was difficult not to look at her and turn soft in the heart and eyes. So many times he wanted to reach over and hold her hand as she drove, but his left arm stayed bound to his side. She rapped bars from the MCs playing with Deuce and he had to scratch his head at who the different groups were. He listened to a lot of music, but the mixtape they were spitting with was foreign to him. He eventually plugged in his music player and switched up the vibe to Moonchild, and Sugar head-bobbed to it.

"Whatchu know 'bought this?" he asked.

She seemed impressed, but Deuce stuck his earbuds in to listen to his own stuff once more. Sugar snapped her fingers and he head-bobbed with her.

"Won't be long now," Sugar said.

The sun was lowering in the sky.

"Sugar, I have to pee," Marina said.

There was no immediate available turn-off.

"Okay sweetie, can you hold it for about five minutes?"

Marina nodded and Sugar flashed her high beams on her Dad.

Her brother rode in the back of the SUV and caught the flashing lights. Within six minutes they all pulled over to a narrow strip of dirt road.

"We gotta make it fast, Marina," Erik said.

Yvette hopped out with Marina and grabbed a towel and toilet paper. Holding the towel around Marina, his daughter urinated and buried the biodegradable toilet paper. Sugar took Butchie out of the car and the dog took his time pissing everywhere and then pooping.

"Good boy," Sugar told him before putting him back in the van.

Yvette gave Marina hand sanitizer and once more they were on their way. Two more hours in and they stopped at a Calimax grocery store in San Felipe where Belinda ran in to buy some fruits and vegetables Sugar's Abuela wanted for their Christmas meal. Belinda didn't waste time. She was in and out and within fifteen minutes and soon they were all sitting inside a small food square eating fish tacos leaving Butchie to sleep in the car protecting their things with two cracked open windows. The owner of the small taco stand greeted Sugar's family with hugs and they ate well. The town was busy with locals and vacationing tourists.

Deuce and Marina were excited at all the colors and the wide Cortez Sea that they stared at. After their meal, he took pictures of them in front of the San Felipe landmark sign and they watched people ride giant banana water rides.

"I want to do that!" Marina shouted.

"We'll come back into town later in the week, and we'll take you out there," Cedro said.

"Yay! Papi!" Marina squealed.

Cedro had a big grin on his face. Deuce looked like he was just as excited, and Erik was happy that his son wasn't his usual grumpy-looking self.

"Smells different down here," Deuce said.

The odors were pungent with the fresh food, the seawater crowded with fishing boats, and beached tour boats on the land, and of course the scent of a desert setting. The geography was beautiful. Cedro bought Erik a beer as they all stretched their legs while walking through the town and passing souvenir shops and bars. San Felipe allowed people to walk and drink like New Orleans and Erik took the beer like a peace-offering. Sugar and Yvette walked together chatting and eyeing cute dresses on display on the sidewalks. Deuce walked with Robert checking out the ATVs that roamed up and down the street. Marina held hands with Belinda in the very front of their entourage.

"I'm glad you could come with us," Cedro said.

"Me too."

Everyone else walked inside an open Bazaar area to shop and Erik stayed outside with Cedro to drink. Both men were the same height, and Cedro's eyes regarded Erik's face.

"You love my daughter?"

Erik almost choked on his drink.

"Um…"

"I know she loves you. I don't really approve—"

"Mr. Moreno—"

"I know you're divorced now. I know you two had some type of relationship in the past while you were still married…"

Erik could feel his face melting with embarrassment. Sugar's Dad was not trying to start their time together tip-toeing around the obvious.

"My daughter is everything to me. You are so much older than her. Why do this?"

"Do what?"

"This whole coaching thing. You don't want to just coach her—"

"Sir—"

Cedro held up his hand and his face grew tight.

"Don't try to shit me. You have all kinds of women. Why do you want my child?"

"With all due respect, she's not a child."

"You have a daughter. You would be just as protective."

"True. But Sugar is a woman."

"Her life is just getting started."

Cedro's eyes darted to the bazaar checking for his family and Erik's.

"I will fucking kill you if you break her heart."

"I don't have any intention of hurting her. A part of me wants to stay away from her because of all the things you said. She's young. Her life is beginning. I've got kids…"

Cedro's eyes were still hard.

"The first time I met her she caught me at my worst. But I can't help what I feel. She just gets under my skin and won't leave. Trust me. I have given myself a list of reasons to leave her alone, and I can't do it. I'm sorry. I'm the last dude she should want, but as long as she'll have me, I'm going to be around her. I love her. I won't apologize for that. I'm terrified of where my life is with my children right now going forward. But your daughter…Sugar…she makes it easier just by being in my life. I worry that she'll break my heart if I can keep it one hundred with you."

Cedro glared at him, but Erik stood his ground. The older man took a long drag on his beer bottle.

"Deuce talks to me. About you."

Erik let his eyes drop away from the man's face.

"What does he say about me?"

"I can tell that he worships the ground you walk on. He brags about you. He worries about you being alone and unhappy. He worries about his Mom being alone and unhappy too. He doesn't want to live in La Jolla anymore. He wants to stay with you full time, but he's afraid of hurting your wife's…your ex-wife's feelings."

"He told you all that?"

"He never said anything to you?"

"No. I know he wants to go to Sugar's old high school. He has friends that go there."

"Maybe these next ten days will be good for both of you. You can talk freely. Sometimes being in a new place opens people up. You can have an honest conversation with him."

Cedro tossed his beer in a trash receptacle. Erik followed suit.

"Thanks for being there for him," Erik said.

"You raised a good boy."

"Look at this!"

Belinda stepped in front of Cedro with a long red skirt.

"Hey, they brought those back!"

"Yeah! When Robert ruined my last one like this, I thought I'd never find another one. They just came in stock. I bought two to be safe."

Belinda's eyes caught Erik's and what she saw on his face made her glance back at Cedro quickly. Something unspoken passed between them. Sugar and the others came back out with bags of souvenirs.

"Look, jumping beans!" Marina said holding out her hand for Erik to inspect.

He held them in his right palm and watched the small brown beans move in his hands with subtle rolling motions.

"There are worms inside them. They're not really beans. Sugar said they're seeds," Marina said with her nose close to his hand.

"Cool," Erik.

"The man said the baby worms are trying to get out. Baby moths," she said.

He handed them back to her.

"What's that?" Erik asked.

Deuce held a small yellow envelope with a brown snake symbol on it.

"Rattlesnake eggs," Deuce said.

"Be careful," Sugar warned, "we have to release them back in the wild when we get close to our house."

"They sale snakes like that?" Erik asked.

Deuce nodded.

"You want to see them, Dad? They're really cool," Deuce said.

Erik took the envelope from his son's hand and pulled back the loose tab. The packet rattled and snapped in his hand.

"Shit!"

Erik dropped the packet and jumped pulling Marina back with him.

Sugar's family and his family burst out in loud guffaws. Deuce had tears in his eyes from laughing so hard, He clutched his stomach and pointed at Erik.

"Dad! Your face! Rattlesnake eggs don't rattle!"

Erik stepped on the packet then picked it up. Inside were paperclips twisted in rubber bands.

"Y'all wrong for that!" Erik yelled tossing the packet back to Deuce.

Sugar wiped her eyes as she cackled in his face. Her father was still falling out.

Erik curled his lip and just watched everyone finish howling at his expense.

Belinda looked at her watch.

"We better head in. We still have an hour to drive."

The ride out of town and back onto the two-lane highway was slow and steady. The roads were paved, but there were potholes and flood washouts in some areas. Once it grew completely dark without the moon, the starlight was a lonesome guide. Yvette and the children snoozed in the back.

"You are a real baller for driving all the way down," Erik said.

"I'm used to it."

"Yvette could've driven."

"I know the roads better."

It grew cool in the darkness and Sugar turned on the heater in the van.

"Rabbit," she whispered as a lean brown body streaked across the road.

"What was that?" Erik asked as another small rodent ran by.

"Kangaroo rat."

"That's a long-ass tail," Erik said.

Sugar stopped driving and let Erik roll down the window and use her flashlight to look at it closely.

"I'm glad Marina didn't see it. She'd want it as a pet," he said.

"Almost there," she whispered.

Ten more miles away from the rat and rabbit, Sugar made a left onto soft sand. It took another slow drive to reach a darkened house and park behind her parent's car. Stepping out, Erik saw another house to the far right of Sugar's family's residence with soft lights on, but to the immediate left at about forty feet was a long dark unfinished home. He could hear the water lapping along the sand from the sea. They stood in the back of the house.

"We have two doors to get in," Sugar said.

In the distance, Erik saw two figures emerging from the house on the right. It took some time for the two people to meet them. Butchie ran around in a circle and then ran toward the people.

"Hola," a man the same age as Cedro said. Next to him was a small woman. She held a lantern and the glow of the light revealed a sweet face with gray hair pulled back in a long loose braid.

"Abuela," Sugar said.

She gave the woman a hug along with Robert. The grandmother then held Cedro and Belinda.

"Abuela, this is my coach, Erik Stevens. Erik, this is my grandmother, Lila."

"Hola," Erik said.

"Le damos la bienvenida a nuestro hogar," the man next to her said.

"Welcome," Lila greeted.

Sugar's parents quickly opened up the house, and Erik woke Deuce up. He carried Marina with his good arm as he followed Sugar and Yvette inside.

Kerosine lamps were turned on and Erik saw the reddish-brown mottled beach house was a quaint two-bedroom home with a living room, kitchen, and dining area with large half-moon windows all along the front of the living room and dining area. Belinda pushed open the windows to let air in. It was decorated with a south of the border feel. Multi-colored Mexican blankets and a large red clay Aztec calendar decorated the living room walls and above the couch hung a big yellow kayak with oars. A wood-burned plaque rested above the front door entrance that said "Moreno Family". The furniture was wood with lots of red, orange, and bronze throw pillows, with one giant body-sized copper-colored pillow on the floor. There was no coffee table, just an open space with two small couches facing each other and a few plastic white chairs like the ones they sat on in San Felipe to eat.

The master bedroom had a queen-sized bed and bathroom, and the second bedroom was filled with three sets of bunk beds. Erik's eyes looked warily at the bunk beds. Sugar patted his good arm

"Don't worry, you can sleep on the living room fold out."

She showed him how the couch near the half-moon window pulled out into a bed.

"The second bathroom is right there. The outhouse is right out there. There's a battery-powered lantern inside of it right inside the door. You can do number two out there. You can pee in here, but don't flush until a few more people have too. We have a giant water tank on top of the house, so we try to limit the flushings unless really necessary. You can poop in there if you want to, but we try to limit that to outside bathroom time."

He still held Marina in his good arm.

"I'll take her," Sugar said.

He allowed her to take his child back into the bedroom they walked through to get into the house.

"Should we get our things?" Yvette asked looking around.

Her face looked happy that it was a normal house. For some reason, she kept worrying that they would be staying in a shack out in the wild. Sugar had told her they were low tech there, and Yvette just envisioned caveman living.

Belinda shook out some kitchen towels and stared at Yvette.

"If you want to get your personal belongings you can. We'll leave everything else in the cars until morning."

Everyone was beat.

"Choose a bed, Deuce," Sugar said.

Yvette checked out the bathroom.

"Can I take a shower in the shower?" she asked.

"We have sun shower bags that we hang up in the sunlight to warm up the water. Right now, the bags are full of cool water. You can use them if you don't mind a slight chill."

"I can wait," Yvette said.

His sister stared at him for a second.

"This is so nice," she mouthed to him.

"What are you doing?" Erik asked.

Sugar was beating the beds with a broom, and then she swept under each bunk bed.

"Checking for mice and snakes—"

"Mice and snakes?" Yvette yelped.

Sugar nodded and continued beating for a few more minutes.

"Yeah, sometimes things crawl in here. Our relatives check out the house for us while we're gone, but we always double-check when we get here."

Sugar finished a put the broom in the corner and adjusted the kerosine lamp in the room that sat on a small table near the door.

"Yvette, that other couch can be used as a daybed if you want to sleep out there with Erik," she said.

For a moment, Erik wished she would sleep on it herself. His mind did wander to her crawling in next to him on the pullout couch.

Sugar's parents and relatives spoke in Spanish and Lila's grandmother called her over pulled a small gold necklace out of her skirt pocket.

"Abuela!" Sugar said.

She allowed the woman to hook the gold cross around her neck and she kissed her grandmother's cheek. Cedro spoke to his male cousin and they walked outside to look at something with one of the kitchen lamps and a flashlight. Belinda walked into her bedroom and Sugar returned to his side fiddling with the necklace.

"A late graduation gift. For protection," Sugar said fingering the small gold crucifix.

Deuce walked into the small living room.

"I picked a bed," he said.

Erik tousled his son's hair.

"Haircut," Erik said.

"Nah, I'ma let it grow long," Deuce said.

Yvette stretched her arms and yawned.

"I'm turning in," Yvette said.

"My grandmother is going to cook a big breakfast tomorrow. It's a tradition. A bunch of my cousins are coming through. We'll go over to her house. It'll be around nine in the morning."

"Okay. Can I help with anything tomorrow?"

"Nope. Just show up," Sugar said.

They heard movement on top of the roof of the house. Sugar smiled.

"Robert sleeps on the roof," she said.

"Is that safe?" Yvette asked.

"My Dad built the house like that. We always sleep up there."

"We?" Erik asked.

"That's where I sleep," Sugar said.

"Can I sleep up there?" Deuce asked.

"If you want. There's plenty of room. It's safe Erik. Me and Robert have done that since we were little."

"Sweet!" Deuce said.

"How about you do that tomorrow night. Inside for the first night," Erik said.

Deuce grumbled, but Sugar winked at him.

"Night," Deuce said. He headed back to the second bedroom.

"I swear it's safe up there."

"Ok. He can go up tomorrow."

Yvette watched them and slowly backed away.

"I'm going to bed too. Get ready for breakfast and all that."

Yvette turned in and Erik looked around the house once more.

"This is hella cool."

"It's home away from home."

"Your Dad built it?"

"With my Uncles and my grandfather. When he was alive. He died five years ago. They built the house next door too. They're going to turn it into a vacation rental to earn some income down here. Everyone tends to stay in San Felipe for tourism, but we think it's nicer to be away from the crowds."

Sugar's eyes were red and her shoulders were slumped. She looked fatigued.

"I'll catch you in the morning then. I'll set my alarm."

"You won't have to do that," she said as she walked to the front door.

"No?"

She shook her head.

"Down here, you'll wake up naturally."

"I don't want to be late," he said.

"You won't. I promise. Night."

Erik wanted to kiss her on the forehead, but her father was still in the dining area speaking to his family. He waved at her instead then spread his body across the pull-out bed. The soft sounds of Spanish, the gentle barks of Butchie, and the lull of the rushing seawater washing in and out sent him into a cozy slumber.

###

"Whoa…"

Erik heard Deuce's voice and his eyes popped open. There was a weight on his chest. Looking down at his body he saw the big brown eyes of Butchie staring back at him. The dog licked his chin and Erik pushed the dog's face away from his.

"Breath, homie," Erik whispered.

Erik turned his head toward the open front door and saw Deuce and Marina standing there. Rolling off of the couch bed, he padded over to the children and stood behind them.

"Whoa," he said taking in the sight.

He and his children lived on a beach, but there was distance between their home and the actual water itself. Standing in the doorway, it felt like they gazed at a whole new world. The sun lifted up from the horizon and the sky was a layer of violet-blue, orange, yellow, and reds, the rays spreading out before them like warm fingers embracing their faces. Marina looked up at him.

"It's so pretty Daddy," she whispered with awe in her voice.

One of the sun rays struck the water and seemed to make a path that stretched out toward them like a yellow-brick road. To the left of the magnificent view, Sugar stood with Robert and their grandmother facing the sea. Lila held something bundled in her hand that burned white smoke that rose up to the sky. Marina took a step forward, her bare right foot touching the sand at the entrance of the door. Erik held onto her shoulder to stop her.

"Wait right here for a minute," Erik said.

"What are they doing?" Deuce asked.

"I don't know, but we shouldn't disturb them," he said.

Whatever Lila held in her hand burned away and she rubbed her hands together. Sugar glanced back at them, her hair as big and round as the morning sun, and when she smiled at him and his children, Erik could feel the warmth from it touch them like gentle fingers stroking their faces.

She whistled and Butchie ran past their legs with his children scrambling after the dog, their feet kicking up sand.

"Beautiful, huh?"

Belinda stepped next to him and watched her daughter walk his children to the water with Lila and Robert.

"Yeah, amazing morning."

"I made some coffee. Would you like some?" she asked.

"Yes."

When Erik turned to follow her to the dining area, Cedro and Yvette were already there sipping from delicate green coffee mugs. Sugar's father still regarded him with caution, but the excited laughter and yelps from his children drew Cedro's eyes to the big open windows. A smile creased the man's lips.

"It's like watching Sugar and Robert when they were little," Belinda said peeking out of the window as she poured Erik a cup of coffee from the small white stove. She handed him the steaming brew and he thanked her.

"Welcome to our home," she said.

At that moment, Erik knew he had to do whatever it took to make himself worthy of their daughter.

He was done running away from what he desired the most.

He couldn't fail.


	34. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar and Erik get more comfortable in San Felipe with family and friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Split another chapter in half. Enjoy!

"Listen,  
In so many ways baby  
You've helped me, to grow  
There are so many things love  
You've helped me to know  
If we did it all again baby  
I'd choose you  
Cause there is no end  
We're never through  
And that's why

Whatever you want from me  
You know you got it  
Whatever you need baby  
You're gonna get it  
You got me forever  
You got me forever"

The Floacist—"Forever"

Sabine watched Erik emerge from the house.

His children followed Robert down the beach with Butchie nipping at their heels. Her father and two of her uncles and one older cousin looked over the unfinished house they were building. There was a large gray pallet stacked with the traditional marbled reddish-brown bricks lying next to bags of cement mix and various tools.

Erik turned to look at the front of their home.

"How do you get to the roof?" he asked.

She walked him to the side of the house and showed him the wide wooden ladder that led up to it. He climbed to the top carefully watching his bad arm and she followed him. Looking around at the plastic chairs and sleeping bags spread out, his eyes gazed out at the sea.

"Nice," he said taking a seat. She sat next to him.

They watched Robert, the kids, and her father inspect his work until a big white Ford truck pulled up. Four children and three adults spilled out from it and Cedro gave a loud yell greeting Sabine's favorite older paternal cousin, Luis, and his family. Luis's wife Alma waved to Sabine and the four children climbed up onto the roof and surrounded her. She stood and hugged each one.

"Erik this is, Chucho, Theresa, Augistino, and Carmina."

Chucho and Theresa were fifteen-year-old twins. Augustino was eight and Carmina was nine. They all stared at Erik with curiosity.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Theresa asked.

"No," Sabine said.

"Abuela said he was your boyfriend," Chucho said.

Sabine felt her mouth fall open.

"Who are they?" Carmina asked pointing to Deuce and Marina.

"That is my daughter Marina, and my son Deuce," Erik said.

The children scrambled down from the roof and ran over to Erik's kids and Robert. Erik's hand clasped hers.

"Boyfriend. I like the sound of that," he said.

Sabine shyly held his hand and looked at the water.

"Your father put me on notice," he said.

"I am not surprised."

"I told him that I loved you."

Sabine stared at him.

"You still love me?" he asked.

Yvette climbed up the ladder and joined them on the roof.

"Oh, it's nice up here," Yvette said looking around.

She walked over to the giant white water tank sitting on the far end of the roof.

"How often do you have to refill this?" Yvette asked.

Sabine stood up and walked over to her.

"Once every four months. We have a water truck coming to refill it after Christmas."

Erik joined them in looking at the tank.

"They have a generator on the side. Cedro turned it on for the refrigerator. This house isn't low tech at all," Yvette said.

"We have solar panels behind the tank too that handle the lights. Our stove runs on propane."

Erik and Yvette lifted their heads.

"Something smells good," Erik said.

"My grandmother is getting ready for us."

"You can take a sun shower. Those bags heat up fast!" Yvette told Erik.

"It's only eight, so you have time to get ready before breakfast," Sabine said.

"I will go clean up," Erik said leaving them on the roof.

"Be careful going down," Yvette called out.

Sabine sat down on the plastic chair again. Yvette joined her.

"Deuce and Marina are in seventh heaven right now. They were a little worried that there were no kids coming like you said."

"More are coming. Trust me, they are going to wish it was just those four."

Yvette regarded her with curious eyes.

"I'm glad my brother agreed to come here."

"Me too."

There was a long silence and Yvette wrangled her hands in her lap.

"I'm just going to come out and say it…"

Sabine leaned into her seat and watched Yvette grapple with something.

"I can tell that Erik cares for you very much. You are good with his children and your family has been very accommodating and kind to us with this trip…"

"But?"

"I don't want you to waste time investing energy into him. I get that you want him to coach you. Anyone on your level would. But he's in a shaky place right now. I like you a lot, Sugar, and I want our stay here to be a good time for everyone…I just think that Erik might…he might…ah fuck it. My brother is a dog."

Sabine giggled and Yvette wiped her forehead.

"I think you are the first Black woman I have seen him crazy about since we were teenagers and I don't want you to be a rebound plaything for him. I love him to death…he's good people…but his track record is just dreadful. I want you to know that. I may be line stepping saying all that but I can't sit back and let another Black woman get hurt by a man. Even if he's my own brother. Okay. I'm done."

Yvette sat back with her hands folded in her lap.

"I appreciate the warning."

"He's cute with his big ole dented head and all that charm, but he never really grew up like a normal person. I mean, there really isn't such a thing as "normal", but he's been coddled and pampered for so long that he doesn't know what it's like to earn a woman. I know I'm not making sense. Women have always thrown themselves at him so he hasn't had to work for their respect. I'm talking too much. Lemme shut up," Yvette said.

"I'm all ears, Yvette."

"I don't want him to use you as a rebound. I'm scared that he'll turn you into this balm in Gilead to get through his mess…"

Yvette held her face in her hands.

"I shouldn't have said anything," she said.

"I'm glad you did. I totally get what you're trying to tell me."

Yvette turned her body toward Sabine.

"Please be careful. I want him to be happy and find love and have a good life. A real good life. I honestly don't trust him to have his shit together any time soon. From what I saw on the drive here, you two have something special. I just don't think he can handle it."

"I love him."

"Dammit."

They both laughed.

"He loves me."

"Well…shit," Yvette sighed and Sabine chuckled.

"Sorry."

"I guess I'm too late. I'm wishing you all the luck in the world. You'll need it."

"That bad, huh?"

"Calista was probably a bad fluke. They were not good together at all. I'ma pray for y'all."

Yvette grabbed her stomach as it rumbled.

"C'mon, let's head over to Abuela's," Sabine said.

They climbed down from the roof and met Belinda with a large foil covered platter.

"Please take these biscuits over, I have one more batch baking," Belinda said.

Yvette took the platter.

"Deuce! Marina! Chucho…you guys c'mon! Wash your hands. Time to go eat. Papi, time to head over," Sabine shouted.

Erik walked out looking refreshed and smelling good wearing a thin yellow t-shirt and pale brown shorts.

"Right on time," he said.

Sabine thought about what Yvette said as they strolled over to her grandmother's large ranch-style home. Erik was all smiles talking to Yvette as his kids wandered over with her cousins and Butchie. Sabine did feel a bit of worry in the back of her heart. She had dumped Alex and despite her love for Erik, she was worried about using him as a rebound for herself. She wondered about him using her, but the viciousness she saw in the way he attacked Colin on that boat in Hawaii gave her pause on those thoughts. He was out for blood the moment Colin suggested she could have someone else. Erik could've totally taken advantage of her in Hawaii, she wanted him to before the fight, and as much as she tried to keep it under wraps, she wanted him physically. Watching his legs and backside as he walked in front of her gave her naughty thoughts until they reached Abuela's home.

Several folding tables were lined up and draped with plastic blue covering outside the front door. A red and white striped tent cover provided shade from the sun. Plates and bowls filled with flour tortillas, fried potatoes, thick-sliced bacon, roasted chorizo, and machaca mixed with onion- fried scrambled eggs, chimangos smothered in cinnamon and sugar dust, along with seasoned pinto beans were spread out and ready to eat. Yvette placed the biscuits next to the flour tortillas and the jar of medium salsa and Lila's fresh pico de gallo.

"Morning," Lila said as she stepped out of her house wearing her favorite pair of overalls with flower decals.

"Good morning. Everything looks and smells delicious," Yvette said.

"Thank you. Sit down," Lila said waving her hand at the plastic chairs surrounding the tables.

The children grabbed seats and Sabine was happy to see Deuce and Marina getting along so well with her younger cousins. Her parents soon joined them as Belinda added the last batch of buttered biscuits to the table. Introductions were made and Lila said a prayer in Spanish before they tucked in.

The kids made breakfast burritos and stuffed themselves just as much as the adults did. Spanish, English, and Spanglish flew around and she relaxed into having Erik seated right next to her. No one was shy about getting seconds and thirds. There was plenty of food available. Yvette took pictures of the meal and every one with her phone. While they ate, a giant water truck showed up on their road kicking up dust behind it. Butchie took off running to bark and investigate the intrusion.

"They weren't supposed to come until the twenty-seventh," Cedro said.

Her father walked over to their house to wait for the driver.

"Must be coming early because the holiday has them busy," Belinda said.

Sabine's Uncle Ramon turned to Chucho.

"Don't take any of the ATVs too far. We'll gas them up more later," he said as he smothered his eggs and chorizo with salsa.

"Okay," Chucho said.

"You have ATVs?" Deuce asked.

Chucho stood up and Deuce followed him to a shed on the side of the house. Another big truck with a hardshell top rolled in. More relatives. Things were about to get popping. More kids, more adults, another mixed breed dog named Toro joined the crowd, and Sabine's favorite grand Aunt who spoke no English proudly gave her a big hug.

Yvette seemed to be overwhelmed by all the action taking place around her. Marina took off running back to the water with the younger children and Erik polished off another plate of potatoes and biscuits. Two ATVs came screeching out of the brick shed with Chucho and Deuce driving them. Erik jumped up.

"Hey, wait a minute!" he said halting Deuce.

"What?" Deuce said.

Chucho handed Deuce a helmet. Sabine eased over to them.

"I don't know about you using one of these," Erik said.

"Why?" Deuce whined, his face scrunching up in his signature scowl.

Yereli and Fay, two of Sabine's teenaged female cousins ripped out of the shed with two other ATVs. They all stared at Erik.

"The kids are really safe with these," Sabine said, "we wouldn't let them use them if we didn't trust them."

"Can you not act goofy on this thing?" Erik asked.

"Yeah—"

"If you don't, I'll snatch you off of it and you won't touch one for the rest of the time here."

"Okay, dang…"

Deuce turned his head away.

"Keep that helmet on."

"I will."

Erik stepped back and the teens roared off into the open desert.

"They're good. Relax," Sabine said.

Erik watched his son become a dot in the distance and his face began to loosen the tightness it held. He stroked the new growth on his chin.

"Robert and I rode those when we were like seven and twelve. By ourselves."

Sabine reached out and took his good hand.

"He's having fun. Better than Disney World," she said.

He nodded and returned to the table to help clean up.

Sabine scratched her head and Belinda ran her fingers across her hair.

"Want me to braid this now or later?"

"Let's do it now," Sabine said.

Back inside their own home, Sabine sat between her mother's legs in the living room. Belinda ran her fingers through a pink plastic tub of various colored beads and hair decorations as Sabine rested her cheek on her mother's warm uncovered thigh.

"Beads or clip-ins?" Belinda asked.

"Shells."

Belinda took time to part Sabine's hair in small sections to oil her scalp with Blue Magic Hair grease. She could feel the cool dark blue hairdressing melting the moment it was layered against her warm skin and lovingly rubbed into her thick hair. She heard her father talking to Erik over at the unfinished house and she could hear Yvette adjusting one of the plastic chairs on the roof so she could read her Kindle and sunbathe. Robert sat in front of the house strumming his acoustic guitar and tuning it.

"Look what I found!"

Marina ran into the house.

"Hey, baby, do me a favor. Wipe your feet off on that rug before you come in. We want to keep the sand out as much as possible," Belinda said.

"Sorry," Marina mumbled.

"No, you're okay sweetheart. You didn't know."

Marina wiped her feet and brushed her toes with her fingers. She stepped inside carefully and held up her hand.

"Lemme see," Sabine said holding out her hand.

A small corkscrew shell with shiny metallic blue colors on the inside dazzled the eye. There was a small hole in the center.

"Pretty," Sabine said.

Marina knelt down in front of her and watched Belinda oil her scalp.

"Regular or fancy?" Belinda asked.

"Just a few straight backs. Alternate thin and thick ones," Sabine said.

Belinda began corn rowing and adding shells as she went. She dug into the plastic bin for more shells. Marina slipped her fingers inside and picked out shells for her. It didn't take her mother long to finish ten rows.

"Like it?" Belinda asked Marina.

"Yes."

"Would you like your hair done too?"

She nodded.

"Go ask your father if it's okay."

"He won't care," Marina said.

"You can't let people play in your hair baby without your Dad's permission."

"Why not?"

Belinda glanced at Sabine and a soft smile painted her lips.

"Your hair is very powerful. And special."

Marina touched her puffy curls.

"It is?"

"Yes. Because it is so special, you have to protect it. It has good energy in it and some people will mess up that energy if they mess with it. Never let people touch your hair unless you want them too. Understand?"

Marina nodded.

"Go ask your Daddy," Belinda encouraged.

Marina jumped up and ran out of the front door. They heard her speak to Erik and then they heard her footsteps running back.

"He said okay!"

Marina wiped her feet and Sabine moved from her mother's legs and made room for the little girl.

"Come sit," Belinda said.

Sabine's mother placed a pillow on the floor to raise and cushion Marina's backside.

"Do you want regular or fancy?"

"Fancy."

"Beads or shells?"

Marina looked up at Sabine's hair.

"Shells."

Belinda handed Sabine her combs.

"Go wash these for me."

Sabine took the combs and washed them out in the bathroom sink. She handed them back to her mother after drying them on a soft cloth hanging in the bathroom.

"When was the last time you washed your hair?"

"Three days ago."

"Are you tender-headed?"

"I don't know what that is," Marina said.

"When your Dad combs your hair, does it hurt?" Sabine asked.

Belinda smirked.

"No."

"Let me know if it hurts while I'm doing your hair," Belinda said.

She began sectioning the girl's hair and oiling the curly roots down to the wavy tips with a pink moisture lotion instead of the blue hair grease. Once the hair was glossy, Belinda carefully worked her braiding magic, giving Marina layered zig-zag patterns. Sabine helped out by braiding the ends as her mother went on to another braid.

They took a break to rest halfway through and watched Cedro open up and clean the BBQ grill that sat near the right of the front door up against the half-moon window near the kitchen.

"We'll have some hot dogs and carne asada tostadas for lunch," Cedro told Marina.

Deuce and Chucho returned for soda and hurried back onto the ATVs going off into another part of the desert. Belinda washed her hands and wiggled her fingers before she went back to work on Marina's hair. By the time they were ready to have a late lunch, Belinda was decorating the last braid at the top of Marina's head with the shell she found on the beach.

"Go see how pretty you look," Belinda said.

Marina rushed into the bathroom and stared at herself. Sabine held up a big hand mirror so she could see the back of her head.

"You like it?" Sabine asked.

"Yes!"

Marina ran out and gave Belinda a hug.

"Thank you! Daddy, look at my hair!"

Marina ran outside to show Erik who was studying the marinade Cedro was mixing for the meat in a glass bowl.

"Hey, look at you, baby girl!"

Erik touched the ends of her hair gently and felt the shells decorating it. Sabine stepped to her mother and gave her a side hug.

"Thank you for doing that," she whispered in her Mom's ear.

"Auntie! Look!"

Marina climbed up the ladder to the roof.

"Wow, that's so nice. You look so pretty!"

"Need some help, Papi?" Sabine asked.

"No, I got Erik here. We'll take care of lunch. You womenfolk can handle dinner."

"I thought we were going out to eat?" Belinda said.

Cedro frowned.

"Everyone is kind of doing their thing and we just got here—"

"Robert and I can cook dinner," Sabine offered.

"Yeah, Mom. We can make pasta and use up Abuela's bruised tomatoes before they go bad," Robert said.

"Okay."

"Can I help?" Marina asked.

"Yeah, go up to my grandmother's house and ask her for the tomatoes in the brown plastic bag," Sabine said.

Marina took off running again. Belinda chuckled watching the girl move.

"She loves to run," Cedro said. Erik nodded.

"Call me when lunch is ready, I'm going to take a nap," Belinda said.

Sabine sat next to Robert and enjoyed the sight of her father schooling Erik on the best grills and smokers. After a while, she went into her parent's open bedroom and grabbed another acoustic guitar from a stand, took it back outside, and sat next to Robert who faced the open fire pit they would use later that night. She played with Robert trying to get the chords right to a funky old folk song they were trying to write together but could never finish with stupid limericks.

Erik glanced at her every now and then as she plucked away some tasteful licks.

"You can really play," Erik said.

"Told you," she said.

Marina finally made her way back with a brown plastic bag and another white plastic bag.

"What's that?" Sabine asked.

"Potatoes. She said to cook them before they go bad too."

Sabine sat her guitar against the house and took the bags from Marina.

Deuce and the other teens rode back in on the ATVs and parked over by the unfinished house.

"We're hungry!" Yereli said.

Fay hopped off of an ATV and started playing with Robert's hair as she sat next to him on bleached whale vertebrae they used for seats. There were four surrounding the firepit next to a handful of plastic chairs.

"Give us an hour," Cedro said.

Chucho and the others piled into the house. Deuce went over to Erik.

"There's this big giant whalebone on the beach!"

"Oh, yeah, it's the jawbone of a humpback. It's been there for over twenty years now," Cedro said, "We brought some of its bones here for seats."

Yereli pointed to the one she sat on.

"Come see it, Dad!"

"I'm helping out," Erik said holding a plate of uncooked carne asada.

Cedro took it from him.

"Go check it out, I got this."

Erik followed Deuce and they made the long walk to go see the whale remains together. Sabine looked over at Chucho.

"How was he?" she asked

"Who?" Chucho said brushing back his floppy black curls.

"Deuce."

"He's cool. Why?"

"Nothing."

Butchie started barking over at Lila's house. Another car had arrived, a small gray Toyota with only one person stepping out from it.

"Who is that?" Sabine asked.

"Looks like Battie from the Campo," Cedro said.

"No one else is coming today, right?"

Sabine was already trying to get a headcount together for the pasta dinner.

"No this is it for now."

"Good."

Sabine glanced over at Marina.

"You want to see the whale?"

Marina nodded.

Sabine led her on the long walk to the whale. Erik was inspecting the gigantic sun-bleached bottom jawbone with his barefoot when they found them. Several other bone fragments were scattered in the sand. Marina held her nose.

"It smells over here! Eww!"

She jumped back when her sandaled feet touched the dried and horribly twisted remains of dead fish. Dozens of the carcasses littered the area. She picked up one and smelled it.

"Yuck!"

Marina threw it but part of it fell on her and she jumped around wiping herself.

Sabine kicked sand over a few of them. Most were probably from illegal overfishing.

"What is that?" Deuce asked.

Near the whalebone was a dried-out body of a mangled fish much different than the other dead ones.

"A totoaba. Fishermen use gillnets to catch them. It's illegal to fish for them. The Chinese want them for their swim bladders. It's known as fake-gold because the price per gram for it is worth as much as gold."  
"For real?" Deuce said poking the dead fish with a stick.

"They have cartels that come out here to fish up and down Baja for these."

"People get rich off of that?" Erik said.

"Yep. It messes up the food chain down here. There are vaquitas that feed on these fish. They are really small porpoises…the smallest in the world. They're endangered and they get caught in the fishnets with these fish too."

"That's fucked up," Deuce said.

"Hey!" Erik said.

"Sorry…but it's true."

"Language!" Marina teased.

They admired the whale remains.

"Are those pelicans?" Erik asked when he caught sight of two large birds flying low in the desert backdrop.

"Yeah, they nest in the cactus."

Sabine led them carefully through some wild brush and had them keep their voices quiet as they observed the large flat nests.

"They used to be endangered because of DDT poisoning back in the day, but the population down here has improved," she told them.

"What are those?" Marina asked pointing to another bird in the distance. They walked closer to it.

"That's a blue Heron."

"The cactus doesn't hurt their feet?" Marina asked.

"The nests are big. They don't feel it," Deuce said.

Admiring the light green cardon cactus, creosote bushes, random ocotillos, and small tree-like yucca plants, they made their way slowly back to the house with Deuce and Marina walking ahead of them.

"Kids are having fun," he said.

"What about you?"

"If they're happy, I'm happy."

The kids walked further ahead of them.

"I heard your Dad say something about your grandmother to your uncle. He said people over at the Campo near San Felipe call her a witch—"

"Bruja."

"Bruja?"

"More like a medicine woman."

"Bruja means witch then. So is she?"

"Yeah. That bother you?"

"I've never met one before and she seems regular to me."

"It has a heavy connotation when you talk to religious people about it. There are a lot of brujas in my Dad's family."

"Will you become one?"

"Me? A sea witch maybe."

"For real though. Would you be one too?"

"Takes years of study and apprenticeship. I'd have to be here full time for all that. It's not my lane. Robert may be one. El Brujo. He's touched in that way."

"Whatchu mean?"

"He has second sight, at least, that's what Abuela says. Don't know if he'll take to it. He likes playing music and writing songs."

"So now I have to worry about your Mom grinding me into dust, your Pops stabbing me on sight, your brother predicting my doom, and your grandmother working roots on me if I fuck up."

"Looks like it."

"I better not fuck up then."

"Hmmm."

"Hmmm?"

"Time will tell."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Me and the kids saw your grandmother burning something when we woke up. What was she doing?"

"A cleansing and some protection."

"Like smudging with sage or something?"

"No. Smudging is what some Native folks do for ceremonies. A cleansing can be done with certain types of sage at any time and by different people. Abuela was making sure we keep good energy close. For my surfing and Robert's education."

"I might need some of that."

"I'll ask her about it. She still has you on probation. The kids are fine, but you…"

"Y'all hard on a brotha."

Sabine pushed him as they walked and he swatted her hand away.

Once they returned to the house, Sabine had Marina help her clean and cut up the tomatoes and potatoes, and then they played a game of checkers in the living room until Papi called them all to eat. It was buffet style and everyone grabbed a paper plate and served themselves in the kitchen then spread out all over inside and outside to eat. Sabine sat at the kitchen table with Marina, Fay, Yvette, and Belinda. The kids went for hot dogs and chips with soda, while the adults ate the carne asada with Sangria that Belinda whipped together. Sabine loved the sense of timelessness in their second home. There was no rush to do anything and everyone came and went as they pleased.

Belinda had to send Marina out with the other children. She had gotten comfortable being up under the older women and Belinda wanted her to enjoy the other young people. The entire pack of kids went to go explore the wide-open space behind the house. Erik grabbed a beer from a cooler and sat at the kitchen table with the adult women.

"How's your shoulder?" Sabine asked.

"I haven't thought about it until you asked about it just now. It's okay. Pain meds keeping it under control."

Robert washed his hands in the kitchen sink and began frying up ground beef in a large metal pan. Sabine boiled water for pasta and then washed lettuce and more tomatoes that hung in a basket in the window.

"Cooking again already?" Erik asked.

"With this many people, you have to start early," Belinda said sipping on her drink.

Cedro walked in and caressed the back of Belinda's neck. She bent her head back and Cedro pressed his lips against her and gave her a salacious kiss. Sabine smiled and when she glanced over at Erik, he seemed surprised and looked away from her parents who kept kissing until Cedro pulled Belinda out of her chair and into their bedroom. Her father closed the curtain separator that they used as a door, and everyone could hear Belinda giggling as Papi spoke to her in Spanish. Yvette's mouth was open.

"That's what I want," Yvette whispered to no one in particular.

Her eyes darted to Sabine's.

"Should we leave? Are they about to…?"

Sabine laughed and handed Robert onions to cut up. Something was definitely going on in the next room in hushed tones, but Sabine and Robert were used to it and went about their business. Growing up with homes filled with people constantly made her parents do what they needed to do when they could. No children were present and Robert had music playing on the counter. They were good.

Sabine took a peek outside the window and saw all of her cousins and Erik's children smacking a giant beach ball to one another as they hustled into the water screaming and laughing together.

She wanted that image to last forever.

###

"Why does it smell like rotten eggs?"

Marina's nose was crinkled as Erik helped her climb down into the hot springs.

"Sulfer," Robert said as he eased his lanky body into the naturally heated water.

Erik watched cold water from the sea rush in as his own legs got used to the hot and cold. They all stuck their legs in first until they were able to sink down into the full heat. Erik found himself hopping in and out from hot to the cooler holes that were closer to the sea itself. He couldn't get in all the way because of his sling. Deuce could only stay immersed for two minutes before he was sweating and had to let his feet bathe in the heat.

Sugar sat all the way in with her eyes closed. Cedro and Belinda soaked in their own little spring. Erik relaxed and thought about their Christmas Eve plans. Their early dinner of roast pork and fried cabbage was filling and Cedro broke out the champagne early to celebrate.

Erik reached over and stroked Marina's hair. She leaned up against his right leg and moved her hands under the hot water.

"It still smells bad," she said.

"It's good for the skin," Erik said.

The sun began to go down and once it grew too hot and everyone had sweated enough, they made the drive back to the house from Puertecitas. Erik watched the colors of the desert change from browns and ruddy orange with splashes of green to dark mauves and deepening blue-blacks of the coming night sky.

"You ready for Santa?" Erik asked Marina.

She shook her head.

"No?" he asked.

"I forgot about him," she said.

Deuce laughed.

"How did you forget about Santa Klaus?"

"I've been busy having fun," she said.

Belinda turned her head from the front seat of the SUV.

"That's so sweet, Marina," she said, "I know Santa didn't forget about you."

Yvette stayed behind to rest earlier and Erik found her seated on one of the whale bones with a fresh fire burning in the pit once they arrived at the homestead. Most of the Moreno family were circled around warming themselves. Belinda passed out marshmallows, graham crackers, and metal sticks with king-sized Hershey bars to make s'mores. Once the children were licking chocolate and gooey white melted clouds, she brought out her guitar and played with Robert and Sugar by her side.

The fire crackled and popped up little sparks of reddish-orange flames. Erik sat back in a comfy beach chair with Marina snuggled against him, her eyes on Sugar playing so skillfully. Deuce poked the fire with his s'more stick his eyes bright with the day's adventure with Papi. They spent the day fishing for their Christmas meal on Cedro's boat. Erik was with them as well as Marina. Papi taught them all how to set their bait and cast their line. The calm of fishing worried Erik that his kids would be bored, but Papi made the quiet exciting. They caught plenty of fish and stored them in several white buckets filled with seawater to keep them alive until they would be filleted and fried fresh in a secret homemade batter.

Jokes and stories were shared. Some in English. Most in Spanish, but Erik and his family didn't mind. It was wonderful just to be part of a large extended family. Sugar's grandmother told a story about magical cactus giants that walked through the desert on windy nights. They only moved on windy nights so that humans wouldn't hear them. When she finished her tale, a gust of wind picked up and blew a few fire sparks high into the air and made all the children laugh nervously, their eyes darting out toward the open desert to see if they could catch sight of a walking succulent.

More stories were shared and Papi broke out some champagne for the adults and sparkling apple cider that Erik brought for the kids.

"Play 'Hotel California'," Erik said to Sugar.

Sugar's brown eyes sparkled in the firelight and Belinda strummed her guitar strings as she leaned over and kissed her daughter on the cheek. Robert took his fist and gently bumped it against his guitar for a beat and the three of them broke into a beautiful acoustic rendition.

Belinda led the singing and Sugar was right, she did sound good when she sang with her family. Their fingers flew through the chords and their voices blended in entertaining everyone. Yvette videotaped them and sang along. They all clapped when they finished and Belinda suddenly played and sang a soft haunting version of "Silent Night". Marina curled her body around his and he adjusted his sling to give her room.

"You okay, baby girl?"

"Yeah."

Erik watched Sugar and her demeanor changed suddenly. She glanced at her watch and her face took on a nervous look. She set her guitar down and stood up.

"I know it's not officially Christmas yet," she said.

"In ten minutes, it will be," Cedro said.

An excited murmur went through all the children present.

"I just want to give out some presents early…if it's okay."

Belinda nodded putting her guitar down and watching her daughter. Erik could tell that Belinda sensed something in Sugar that was making her jumpy.

"Give me a second," Sugar said.

She ran into the house and Erik adjusted Marina on his arm. Sugar returned with a green and red wrapped box, a thin blue sparkly wrapped gift, and a purple and cream wrapped envelope.

"This first one is for Papi and Mommy together," she said handing Belinda the green and red wrapped box.

"Get over here!" Belinda said.

Cedro stood from his seat and moved over to Belinda taking over Sugar's chair. They unwrapped the box together and pulled out red tissue paper.

"Is this a joke box?" Cedro asked, making Sugar laugh.

"No, I promise, there's something in there."

Belinda pulled out a piece of paper.

"Oh my God," Belinda gasped.

Cedro's eyes grew wide.

"What is it?!"

Deuce's voice rang out and the rest of the family chuckled. Lila patted Deuce's arm.

Belinda stared at Sugar.

"I know you two have borrowed against the house to pay for the restaurant, my tuition, and Robert's new fees. Papi, I know you work hard to pay for everything."

"She paid off the house," Cedro said, his voice shaky.

Belinda held Sugar's hand.

"I would've given this to you earlier but I wanted to save it for Christmas."

"Baby!"

Belinda jumped up and hugged Sugar. Cedro did the same.

"I'm also going to cover Robert's fees that his scholarship doesn't take care of. You don't have to worry about him or borrow against the house ever again."

Sugar handed the purple and cream-colored gift to Belinda.

"This is for you, Mommy."

With quivering fingers, Belinda opened it, then showed it to Cedro.

"My trip," Belinda gasped.

Sugar turned to her family.

"Mommy always wanted to take a fancy cruise around the world with Papi so they could surf in Australia and Europe. Now they can. Six weeks."

There were hoots and some clapping. Cedro looked gobsmacked.

Sugar's hand shook on the last gift.

"This one is for you, Papi."

Cedro took the blue sparkly wrapped gift that fit inside his hand.

"Jesus, Mija, you have given us so much already," he said.

His eyes were shiny and wet as he clumsily pulled apart the last gift. Pulling out another paper he stared at it and then his lip quivered and he covered his face, slumping down into the chair. Belinda wrapped her arms around him as he wept.

Erik sat forward in his seat with Marina.

"Is Papi okay?" Marina asked out loud.

"Papi is good…Papi is good…" Cedro choked out between his sobs.

Robert rubbed his father's back.

"When I was a baby, my biological Dad gave my Mom a real hard time. When she married Papi, he never took responsibility for me. No child support. No visits. Nothing. But I was good because I knew Mommy and Papi loved me and that was enough. At one point, Papi tried to adopt me, but my bio Dad fought against that…for a long time…"

Sugar's eyes dropped down to look at the fire.

"When I wanted to surf and make that a career, Papi was my first coach—"

"Your best coach," Cedro said wiping his eyes.

"My best coach…sorry Killmonger."

"You good," Erik said.

"I wanted to make a name for myself. Be a champion like that man right there…"

Sugar's eyes rested on Erik's face for a fleeting moment before she looked at Cedro once more.

"…I'm on my way to doing just that. But I want to be a champion with my father's name…my real father's name…so I went and had my last name legally changed to Moreno. From now on when I take the winner's stand, I'll be called Sugar Moreno…"

Cedro stood then and hugged Sugar, the embrace long and heartfelt. Lila stood and walked over placing her arms around her son and granddaughter. She stroked Sugar's cornrows and whispered something to them both before Cedro faced everyone, his eyes red and his cheeks wet.

"I have no words…" he said.

"It's okay, Papi," Marina called out.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I will find some…I will find some."

He held Sugar's hand with a soft bewildered look on his face.

"Merry Christmas, Papi," Deuce said.

"Best Christmas ever," Cedro said.

Slowly, lovingly, the rest of the Moreno clan stood and gave hugs to Sugar and Cedro. Erik could tell she had always been family to them, but taking on the surname seemed to melt Cedro. He kept staring at the legal paperwork and tracing his finger over the words printed there.

"Breakfast at Abuela's and then gift-giving back over here," Cedro said.

Robert grabbed his guitar and began playing a happy tune that lifted away the tears from his father's eyes and replaced it with a proud gleam in his eye. Marina climbed off of Erik and walked over to Sugar to give her a hug. Deuce lingered in the background watching Papi until Sugar walked over to Erik. His own sister was wiping her eyes and jumped up to give Sugar a hug.

"Congratulations!" Yvette said.

"Thank you," Sugar said hugging Yvette back.

"That was cool," Deuce said holding out his fist to her.

She gave his son a pound and that was as close to a hug she was going to get from him.

"You give the best gifts," Erik said giving her a quick half-hug.

Sugar looked over her shoulder. Belinda was hugging Cedro and they walked into the house together. Her relatives broke away to go sleep, the children still buzzing with excitement and filled with sugar. He watched Deuce and Marina climb up onto the roof with Yvette to go sleep for the night. The plan was to keep them up top so Erik could place their gifts around the small Christmas tree inside the house that was posted up in the corner of the living room near the couch he slept on.

Sugar's eyes were still bright and a little pink in the whites.

"I hope you'll like my gift," he said.

"I told you not to get me anything."

"You'll probably need to sell it because I know you spent probably all of your winnings and your sponsor coins for all that."

"It had to be done. I wanted to free my parents. They work too much and need time together while they are still young and able to enjoy the world. I don't want my Dad to work his whole life for us. That ain't living."

"Sugar Moreno. Dark Sugar. Fits you."

"It does, doesn't it?"

Erik placed his fingers behind her neck and pulled her in close. He caught himself and looked around. Everyone had wandered off to bed.

"Should we put out the fire?" he asked.

"No. Let it burn itself out."

The glow of the lowering flames cast shadows on the house. He released Sugar.

"Night Daddy!"

Marina waved to him from the roof. Deuce had eyes on them too.

"Goodnight!" he called to them both.

"Guess you have to wait a few hours until they go to sleep before 'Santa' does his thing," she teased.

"Yep."

"I'll stay up with you."

They both took seats right in front of the door and watched the fire burn down to glowing coals. The snores from the roof let him know he could put out the gifts. When they walked into the house, they both saw that Sugar's parents had already placed a bunch of wrapped items around the tree. Erik pulled things from out of Sugar's van and snuck them into the living room with Sugar's help. Their task completed, they stood together staring at the display.

"They will have a ball tomorrow," Sugar whispered.

Loud snores spilled out from behind the closed curtains of Sugar's parent's bedroom. She giggled and covered her mouth. Erik pulled her hand away and kissed her. Her fingers ran up the sides of his face and held him as she opened her mouth for him. His tongue explored the needy opening that widened for him as he pressed up against her warm skin. He pulled back from her to catch his breath.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you."

"Say it again," he pleaded.

She kissed his lips after each word.

"I. Love. You."

"Again."

"Te amo."

"Again."

Sugar's soft full lips joined his once more and she showed him how much she loved him with her mouth.

And tongue.

And touches.

She kissed him on the couch throughout the coming of dawn and removed herself to sleep in the second bedroom alone on a free bunk bed. He wanted to hold her until the sun rose with its brilliant hues once more, but it was best that she didn't because Deuce and Marina were up bright and early to rip open wrapping paper and squeal with delight over all the presents everyone brought them.

Erik had to admit it.

It was the best Christmas he ever had with his children.


	35. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik and Sugar celebrate the New Year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

"Sometimes I dream I'm in the four door  
Coming down on the slow-mo  
Sometimes I dream I go so high by for the ride by  
Sometimes I feel I'm going down, down  
Sometimes I feel I'm gonna die at times  
Got my dreams and my eyes wide…"

Solange—"Dreams"

"Carefully place it in the oil and let it brown real good…"

Erik watched Deuce lay fresh pieces of sea-caught yellow-tail battered fish into a deep cast-iron skillet. Hot vegetable oil popped out of the pan making both Deuce and Marina jump back.

"Easy…easy…," Cedro crooned as he showed the children how to use tongs. He handed the tongs to Deuce.

Belinda stood near Erik as she cut up fresh limes and lined up plates filled with small white corn tortillas. Sugar sat outside on a whale stool drinking beer.

"They done yet?" she called out.

"Hold your horses. Deuce and Marina are learning the tradition," Cedro said.

"Can they learn faster? I'm starving."

"Hush," Belinda said.

Butchie sat near the doorway opening peeking into the house. His long sad whines made Belinda stop cutting.

"You bet not set one foot in this house. I am still upset with you!" Belinda hissed at the dog.

Erik chuckled and replayed the earlier fiasco with the dog two days previously.

Cedro had gotten up early in the morning with the children and taken them out to fish. Erik sat in a beach chair next to Yvette watching them as he gently rotated his shoulder without his sling on. Sugar's grandmother Lila had made him herbal teas that helped heal deep muscle tissue. Erik felt like there was something more than regular herbs inside the pungent-smelling liquid because soon after he drank it, he felt a slight buzz like he had a contact-high. His shoulder was stiff, but there was hardly any pain now. Belinda insisted that he rest more. They had gone into San Felipe to take the children banana boating and shopping for fireworks and party favors to bring in the New Year days earlier, and Erik had overexerted himself a bit trying to stay active with them. Belinda put a stop to that.

He sat and watched Marina squeal at silvery flying fish that jumped over the small motorboat and Deuce's loud laughter filled Erik's heart. Erik had used his satellite phone to allow the children to speak to their mother after Christmas. Marina showed off her Barbie beach house that Cedro and Belinda bought her along with new Barbie clothes, a jewelry maker, and a make-up kit where she could mix and match her own lip gloss and glitter eye-shadow, along with other craft-themed toys. Sugar must've told them that his daughter loved things that she could manipulate and create with. Deuce was given books on drawing with pen and inks along with sketchbooks and professional-grade art pens along with a stack of new comic books in his favorite Japanese horror fandom. He spent all Christmas day and days after creating at the dining table or reading his comics on the roof.

Both children received personalized wood door knockers for their bedrooms that matched the unique wood carving that had the Moreno family name on it. Both of his kids went into their own worlds playing with their gifts while his own presents were appreciated but saved for later usage. Most of the things he bought were from his recent travels, and although unique and one of a kind in some instances—clothes, jewelry, video, and board games—he realized that he missed the procuring of things that matched their true interests. Calista's similar gifts were treated the same way.

Calista sat through a face chat that had the children showing her their gifts. Deuce was more talkative with her than usual, his face completely lit up talking about fishing, ATV and motorbike riding, exploring the hot springs, and describing the giant whalebone. They showed her the whalebone seats they sat on and described the night sky and how big the moon was when it hung full and bright in the inky darkness making the sea glow below it. The more they talked, the more excited their voices became.

Calista spoke to Belinda thanking her for caring for her kids, and then he spoke to her away from the house. She looked better. There was a healthy natural glow to her skin, and without a ton of make-up, she looked like a real person again and not a clout-chaser desperate to be seen. Even her voice was calm and measured.

"They look so happy," she said.

"They are having the time of their life."

"How is your shoulder?"

"Better, Sugar's grandmother has been helping me with it."

Calista's eyes seemed to glaze over at the mention of her.

"How is Sugar?"

"She's good. Getting mentally ready for next year. She leaves for Florida mid-January and then Australia."

"Will you be able to compete in January?"

Erik moved his left arm a bit.

"I'll see my doctor when I get back and check how the shoulder looks."

"Is Yvette adjusting?"

"Yeah."

Calista swiped back a loose strand of hair and looked over her shoulder.

"I need to get back. I have a groups session in a few minutes—"

"No problem. I have our flight info. We get there at the end of January—"

"Maybe we should wait until February."

"You don't want them to come out there?"

She leaned her head on her right hand.

"I've been doing some deep mental work and it's thrown me for a loop. I wasn't expecting to process so much this soon. I'm not sure if I'm ready to handle a visit right now. I'm barely holding it together talking to them…and you now."

"I'm sorry it's so difficult for you."

A few tears rolled down her face.

"It's so hard…so hard Erik. There's so much pain in me that I wasn't aware of. Stuff from when I was kid…"

She wept then and he watched her face crumble into a red wet mess and open-mouthed wailing. Thank God he didn't have her on speaker.

"Hey…Calista…it's going to be okay. I know how hard it is. My therapy is still kicking my ass. But you are doing what needs to be done. Think of Deuce and Marina. Think of how happy they will be when they get their Mom back to who she really wants to be."

"I know…I know…"

Calista wiped snot from her nose and her lank hair fell over her cheeks.

"I'm so grateful they are there with Mr. and Mrs. Moreno."

She wiped her face again.

"I have to go—"

"Let me know if you change your mind about the visit. We have open tickets. You tell us when to come to you."

"Alright…goodbye—"

She hung up fast and Erik stood alone on the side of the unfinished house. Deuce and Marina's voices blended with Yvette's and the other children running around with their new shiny toys. He didn't know what to think of her refusal of seeing the kids. He worried that it would devastate Marina. Deuce could probably understand his mother's reasoning, but Marina would internalize the situation as her fault. She tended to do that and would fixate on trying to fix the problem when it wasn't her problem to begin with. Erik pushed the worry away from his mind. He had weeks to deal with that.

Walking back over to the house, he stepped into the kitchen and found Belinda and Sugar filleting fish with Butchie sitting in the middle of the floor watching them work. Belinda placed light pink fish meat on a tray resting on the side of the kitchen counter and within seconds, Butchie had snuck over to the counter, jumped up and snatched a mouthful of fish parts, and knocked the tray on the floor.

"Butchie!" Belinda screamed.

The children ran after the dog who took off into the desert behind the house.

He was banned from the house when any other cooking was happening.

"Good job, Deuce," Belinda said.

Erik's son dipped new fish into the batter of milk, flour, mustard, allspice, oregano, and other secret things before dropping it into the fryer. He had a nice stack of fish ready to eat encased in golden brown goodness.

Sugar stepped into the house then, fixing herself a plate before the rest of the fish was fried up.

"So impatient," Belinda scolded.

"Starving," Sugar said squeezing fresh lime over the fish before sprinkling pico de gallo and white sauce all over it bypassing the bowl of shredded cabbage. She ate right at the counter.

Erik stared at her neck. She wore the rare precious stone bib necklace that he gifted her with for Christmas. Made of blue corundum, light blue beryl stones, champagne diamonds, and laced onto a rhodium and silver geometrical chain-links, it cost him over five thousand dollars and was the one and only gift he gave her because he was afraid to give her too much in front of her family. He chose the stones because they looked like seafoam and reminded him of the waters of the Caribbean. The moment she opened the light blue velvet box it sat in, her mouth and her family's dropped open. It was unique looking, one of a kind, not easily afforded by average people, precious, delicate, and bold. All the things that reminded him of her.

Her mother helped her put it around her neck and Marina was thrilled because he bought her an anklet and bracelet made from the same elements. His daughter held her wrist up to Sugar's neck and they both admired the similarities in the various stones. Sugar accepted it with grace, but he could tell by her flushed face that she knew it was a pricey gift that wasn't just bought in a random store. It was jewelry that had to be designed and took months to make by a craftsman jeweler. He had it commissioned for her after she won her first major competition after she left him.

Sugar stuffed her mouth with more fish tacos and her mother went to stir her pot of black-eyed peas and mixed greens for the New Year at midnight. Deuce made room for Belinda at the stove. After twenty minutes, all the fish was ready and everyone else sat down at the table and ate. Yvette was ready to scale more fish. She ate so much seafood with the Moreno's, he guessed that she would go home and become a pescatarian.

Returning to the stove, Belinda waved her hand above her black-eyed peas as the steam from the big pot drifted up.

"Those smoked turkey wings are doing the damn thang!" she said.

"My grandmother used to cook all that for New Year's too," Erik said.

"It's for good luck in the coming year," Belinda said putting a lid on the pot."

"I ain't had black-eyed peas in years."

"Well, we will have black-eyed peas, greens, and some cornbread to usher in the future," Belinda said.

"I don't like greens," Marina said.

Sugar clutched her chest and acted like she was having a heart attack.

"What Black person doesn't like greens?"

Marina smirked.

"I just don't."

"Who cooked your greens?" Sugar asked.

"Mommy."

Sugar fixed her face real quick.

"Was it greens or kale?"

Belinda tapped Sugar's shoulder and shook her head at her.

"I promise you'll like my greens. I cook them all day and they become tender and full of flavor and love," Belinda assured her.

Marina crinkled her nose.

"If you don't like it, I'll eat them," Sugar said reaching for more tortillas.

"What's good luck about eating black-eyed peas?" Deuce asked.

Belinda wiped her hands on a paper napkin.

"It's a tradition in the south. My great-grandmother in Yazoo, Mississippi made them for my family. It's a humble food. Slaves had to live off of beans and rice, greens, and scraps of pork because they were underfed by white slave owners. They would eat and drink the juices from greens to get the nutrients they needed. Corn has always been a staple food for Black people and Native people. Cornbread was easy to make and very filling. I think it brings clarity and connects us to our past. It helps Black people stay rooted in their survival. Does that make sense?"

Deuce nodded and Belinda stroked his right shoulder.

"How come you didn't make chitlins?" he asked.

"You eat chitlins?" Sugar asked.

"My grandmother makes them on Oakland."

"We don't do chitlins here, but Papi loves Menudo. Abuela will bring some over tonight. I hate it," Belinda said.

"I like 'em," Deuce said.

"I don't," Marina said making a face and sticking out her tongue.

"I feel you," Belinda said.

"They stink so bad!"

"Put some hot sauce on it," Yvette said wiping her hands.

While Sugar and Yvette cleaned up the kitchen with Robert, Cedro and Belinda walked outside together holding hands. They wandered off down the beach barefoot, stepping onto the wet sand as a large sandbar revealed itself in the low tide.

Deuce and Marina tagged along with them and Erik watched them walk far until they reached water once more. Sugar's parents kept walking further away while his children kicked up water with their feet. The rest of the day was spent relaxing.

As the sun departed from the sky, Cedro brought out firecrackers and sparklers. Under close adult supervision, all the children, Erik's and Sugar's younger cousins who they first met, were allowed to hold sparklers as Cedro lit fireworks that raced high into the sky and exploded in reds, greens, and blues. Robert played party music on his music player with small speakers, and the countdown to the new year was greeted with shouts of joy and more fireworks set off.

Midnight hit and Cedro grabbed Belinda and laid the biggest kiss on her. Horns were blown by the kids, and Erik felt bold enough to hug Sugar and give her a soft peck on her lips. It was hard to let her go from his arms, but he caught Deuce staring at them and Erik stepped away to grab a noisemaker and shake it.

Plates of black-eyed peas and greens were passed around in the house and Lila scooped small bowls of Menudo that were sopped up with the cornbread Belinda baked. Two hours into the New Year as Sugar's relatives went back to Lila's house, Erik climbed up onto the roof and laid flat on his back with his children, Yvette, Sugar, and her immediate family. The moon was gone and only the stars sparkled above them. Cedro looked at his watch.

"They said after two in the morning," he said.

"There's one!" Marina shouted pointing above her head.

Shooting stars streaked across the sky. For about ten minutes a flurry of dust and small meteor rocks burned above the atmosphere making a light show better than the earlier fireworks. Erik felt Sugar's arm bump against his and he reached his fingers out to her hand and held it. He turned his head as it rested on the pillow he used to cushion it, and her face was already there, her eyes taking his in. She squeezed his hand.

"Ooh, Daddy look, there's a lot now!"

Marina stood up and raised her hands like she could touch the hot streaks decorating the sky. Spreading her fingers and tilting her head back, Marina looked like a magician making the stars dance. She looked at him then plopped down next to him. He sat up and put an arm around her shoulder. The meteor shower came in intervals, and within thirty minutes it petered out. Slowly but surely, the others climbed back down the ladder to seek sleep. Erik stayed on the roof with Deuce and Marina.

"Night," Sugar said as she made her way down.

The star party ended and Marina fell asleep curled around his hip. Erik and Deuce sat next to each other still gazing into the void.

"You alright?" Erik asked Deuce.

The boy's face was hard to read even with the glow of stars.

"Deuce?"

"Can I tell you something and you won't be mad?"

"You can tell me anything."

Deuce glanced down at his sleeping sister.

"I was mad when you and Mom broke up."

"I know."

"I used to want you guys to get back together…but now…."

"It's okay, just say what you want to say. No judgment."

"You guys were never happy together, were you?"

Erik took in a deep breath.

"We had good times together—"

"That's not being happy, Dad."

Deuce lowered his head.

"Papi and Miss Belinda are happy. Even when they fuss with each other or disagree about something, they are happy. They do stuff together. They always kiss each other…or hold hands. I never saw you or Mom do that."

"Some relationships are just different—"

"You never acted like the Morenos. Not ever."

Erik saw a tear then. Deuce's lip trembled.

"I'm glad you and Mom are divorced."

Deuce's voice was flat in tone. He raised his knees up to his chest and the light breeze floating across the desert ruffled his loose long hair. Erik didn't know what to say. Deuce wiped his eye as he stared at the water.

"It's better. She sounds better. You do too. I think if people get married, they should be friends first. And like each other. And want to be together," Deuce said.

Another tear fell from his son's eye.

"Do you think you'll ever get married again?"

"I don't know."

Deuce looked at him then. Erik threw his left arm around his son's shoulder feeling the tightness in his ligaments. He ignored it.

"No matter what went down with your Mom and me…we love the two of you. People try to work things out and sometimes it doesn't come together. Sometimes people are lucky like Mr. and Mrs. Moreno—"

"But they love each other, Dad. Really love each other. I don't want you or Mom to ever get married again unless you love someone."

Deuce's eyes pleaded with him.

"I promise," Erik said.

Deuce let out a breath.

"Can I tell you something?" Erik asked.

"Yeah."

"Papi told me that you want to live with me in Mission Beach. Is that true?"

"Yeah."

"How come you didn't tell me that first?"

"You were busy and gone."

"Your Mom won't be happy."

"I'm hoping that she'll get better and be okay with it when she comes home."

"She won't be okay with it."

"Can you talk to her?"

"I can talk but she will fight me about it. Why do you want to stay with me?"

"I want to go to Mission Bay High. I want to work with Papi. I want to be around you more. It's calm at your house."

"You'd leave Marina?"

"I'd still see her when she came to visit you,"

"But you two are a team—"

"I don't want to live with Mom!"

The boy's shout startled him as it echoed around the roof. Marina stirred a little but stayed asleep. Erik could hear movement down below inside the house.

"Let me live with you…please."

Deuce's face contorted in distress and Erik pulled him in for a hug.

"We'll work it out…hey…hey…listen to me. We'll work something out. You're with me for a nice long time now. Let's take advantage of it, okay?"

"Okay."

He felt Deuce's chest shudder against his.

"Your Mom and I are trying to rebuild our lives. It might take a little time to get used to our new living arrangements—"

"I don't need to get used to it. I like it already. I want to be with you…"

"Okay…okay…"

"I don't want Deuce to go…"

Marina's tearful voice surprised Erik. She was awake the whole time. Clutching at the other side of his chest. Marina sat up, her pleading eyes trapping his.

"Me and Deuce are just talking baby girl. Go back to sleep—"

"Are you staying with Daddy?"

"I want to—"

"Nooo!"

"Marina…baby girl…"

"I want us to stay together. I want Mommy with us!"

Erik closed his eyes and felt his body close in on itself. He heard feet moving up the ladder. The top of Belinda's head appeared and she stepped onto the roof.

"Hey," she said.

Erik couldn't speak. He stared at her helpless with two crying children while fighting the hot tears that threatened to spill from his lids.

"The New Year often opens up all kinds of feelings," Belinda said.

She sat down near Marina.

"Did we wake you up?" Erik asked.

"No, I was sneaking another piece of cornbread and some greens," she said chuckling and patting her stomach.

Belinda reached over and touched the ends of Marina's braids.

"You like having everyone together, huh, baby?" Belinda asked.

Marina nodded.

"Come here."

Belinda held out her arms and Marina went to her.

"I'm so happy you all could be with my family. You have fun?"

Both children nodded.

"Keeping a family is hard work sometimes. I know your Dad is doing his best to work and make sure you two are taken care of. I know your Mom is working to get better too. She was really nice on the phone. And so proud of you both."

"I don't want Deuce to go away," Marina wept.

"Oh, he's not wanting to go far. I hear he's made some new friends like you. He wants to go to school with his new friends. He's a big boy now and maybe he can help your Dad out more if he's around him more. Didn't you tell me that your Dad is busy a lot?"

Marina nodded.

"Well, maybe he can help your Dad be less busy so he can use all that extra time to be with you."

"But I can help too."

"I'm sure you could, but that's the big brother's job."

"Then what's my job?"

"To be happy. Have fun. Let Deuce do the boring stuff and you get all the fun stuff. He'll still be around for you—"

"But Mommy needs him too."

"I know she does. How about you let your Dad figure stuff out and you don't worry about anything except making me more bracelets and lip gloss, and drawing all those wonderful pictures you made for us. Did Papi show you the new frame he bought in town to hang your drawing with?"

"No."

"Well my goodness. It looks amazing. He already hung it in the living room before he went to bed."

Belinda brushed back her twists and looked at Deuce.

"You're having a tough time right now," she whispered.

Deuce nodded.

"It will get better. I promise. Life has ups and downs as you get older, but you are a brilliant young man. I know you'll be fine. Right?"

"Yeah."

"Ooh! It's getting chilly with that wind. Cover up if you sleep out here. I'm going to go back in and eat."

"Is there enough cornbread left to get some?" Deuce asked.

"Plenty. Go help yourself. You want any more, Marina?"

His daughter nodded.

"Go on down and get some."

Deuce and Marina moved away from them. Erik watched them climb down and then he wiped his eyes. Belinda touched his hand and he released a flood of tears.

"Sorry…," he choked out trying to stop his weeping.

"Don't be sorry. It's difficult. What you all are going through together…it's hard. You seem to provide the stability that Deuce needs."

"He told me that he's glad me and his Mom are divorced. Months ago, he wouldn't speak to me or even be with me because I was a terrible husband. Now…he's telling me he's happy that I left his Mom. He wants to live with me. Marina doesn't want him to leave La Jolla."

"It's tough."

"It is…"

His eyes kept spilling his sorrow and Belinda leaned over and wrapped her arms around him.

"How about you come down and eat some more cornbread and greens. Load up on some more black-eyed peas for that good luck?"

"Sounds good," he said.

She touched his chest over his heart.

"Relax your breath," she said.

He copied her breathing and felt his nerves calm down.

Erik followed her back down into the house and saw that Sugar was up with his children eating. She saw his eyes but said nothing about the wetness she saw there on his face. He wiped his eyes again and grabbed a plate, scooping peas and greens on it before cutting himself a big chunk of cornbread. He sat next to Marina and across from Sugar. Deuce and Marina seemed to be in better spirits.

The wind kicked up and Belinda shut the windows in the kitchen and living room with Sugar's help.

"Grew cooler," Belinda said.

She turned to the children.

"Time for bed. We have one more good day of fun planned," she said.

"Night," Deuce said waving at everyone.

He slipped into the second bedroom where Robert and Yvette were already sleeping.

Marina slipped her arms around Erik's neck. He kissed her cheek and rubbed her back.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"A little bit."

"See you in the morning, okay?"

She nodded and padded off to the second bedroom. Belinda patted Erik's shoulder and walked into her bedroom, closing the curtain behind her.

"Something big went down?" Sugar whispered.

"Yeah."

She stroked his face. He closed his eyes at her touch. Like her mother, Sugar could calm him with the slightest caress and soft words.

"Come with me," she said.

Taking her hand, he followed her over to the living room and crawled onto the pull-out couch bed. Lying next to him, Sugar rested her head on his chest and rubbed his stomach. When his body relaxed more, she moved her hand from his belly up to his head and massaged his scalp. He turned his body toward her and placed his face on her breast, enjoying the softness that cushioned him. He could feel water leaking from his eyes again, and he let them flow and fall upon her. She kept stroking gentle circles on his head.

"I'm trying so hard, Sugar," he whispered into her chest.

"I know you are."

He touched the necklace he bought her that rested around her neck.

"My son told me on the roof that your parents are the blueprint for how a relationship should be. I came nowhere close with his Mom. He called me out on it. Told me to make sure I was in love for real the next time I decide to get married. He wants to live with me…my daughter is stressed that he's leaving her behind. I can't—"

"Shhh. You don't have to solve everything right now."

Her hands continued to rub and stroke the tension out of his forehead and neck and his thoughts drifted to memories of their time in Baja together. Her other hand stroked his arm and he fell into a deep sleep serenaded by the thumping of her strong heart.

###

Sabine woke up early and went for a walk down the beach.

When she returned to the house, everyone was up and about except for Erik. He was still fast asleep. Everyone moved around indoors quietly until noon when they all got dressed to go into town for the day. Erik was eating cornbread with her Dad when she drove her grandmother Lila in the opposite direction to Puertecitos. Robert would drive her van to help carry everyone to San Felipe following their Dad's car. Sabine drove her grandmother's Dodge truck. The plan was to take Lila to her friend's house for a couple of hours and then drive her back home. Sabine wanted some quiet time to herself and didn't feel like going to San Felipe.

Things went according to plans until her grandmother didn't feel well and the visit was cut short. Sabine drove her back to her home and made sure Lila was comfortable in her bed with hot tea and warm blankets. She sat and talked with Lila until she fell asleep.

Strolling back over to the family's house, the wind blew up sand onto Sabine's legs and some of it scratched her face. She opened up the door and shut it fast feeling the pressure of the wind fighting her as she closed it. Running into her parent's bathroom, she used their sun shower water bag to take a shower and scrub away a day's worth of dirt. Her skin felt squeaky clean as she rinsed the last bit of soap away from her feet. Stepping out of the shower stall she strolled naked and wet to the other bathroom to retrieve a clean towel.

"Shit!"

Sabine stopped in her soaked tracks in the middle of the living room.

Erik sat up from the pull-out bed.

"I thought you left with everyone!" she shouted.

"I was tired. Stayed behind to sleep."

"You were here the whole time?"

"Yeah."

Sabine didn't even notice him under the pile of jumbled sheets and blankets when she walked in.

"Sorry I scared you."

Erik's eyes dragged up and down her body. Sabine moved quickly toward the second bathroom.

He stood and blocked her.

"I have to get a towel."

Her eyes sought his and she saw the desire in them.

"It's just you and me here," he whispered.

His hands snaked across his hips and his thumbs hooked into his shorts and pulled them down. Stepping out of them he let the garment drop to the floor. Sabine stepped to his right and he became a wall of hot flesh trapping her against the wall. She tried to look everywhere else except for his eyes but his hands gripped her face and he placed those big plush lips onto hers and kissed her breath away.


	36. Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik and Sugar spend time alone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to try and keep a Wednesday update schedule with this one.

"Holding me tight  
Loving me right  
Giving me life  
All night  
You could be  
(You could be)  
Telling me lies  
Making me cry  
Wasting my time  
The whole time  
So just be  
Careful what you take for granted, yeah  
'Cause with me you know you could do damage  
You, you could do damage  
You, you could do damage, yeah"

H.E.R.—"Damage"

She could hear the wind blowing against the windows making the wooden shutters shake.

The muffled and distant barking of Butchie inside her Abuela's house made a haunting sound but her mind swirled back to the physical sensation of soft assertive full lips demanding her submission. Draping her arms around Erik's neck, Sabine gave in quickly, his deft touches along her spine felt magical forcing needy moans deep within her throat. Lord how she missed his mouth on hers!

Erik cupped her breasts and she caressed the top of his head as he bent down to tongue her nipples pushing her soft mounds together. He sucked all around her areolas, his fat pink tongue and hungry lips tugging her piercings and dragging shuddery whimpers from her plump lips.

"Erik…," she sighed.

"Mmmhmmm."

His tongue slipped down her neck and throat and cascaded down between the soft valley of her breasts making a wet trail to her belly button. He dropped to his knees and surrounded her vulva with his entire mouth.

"Fuck!" she gasped lifting her left leg onto his shoulder.

Warm saliva bathed her folds as his wet tongue parted damp inner lips pooling with her sweet sticky nectar.

"Pussy jumping, baby," he groaned sucking on her clit piercing and transforming her sensitive nub into a fat sable pearl.

Sabine felt the throbbing quick pulses as her mound blossomed with growing tingles from his oral care. The tip of Erik's tongue danced along her plump pussy lips, and when he moaned into her delicate core, her legs shook from the vibrations and Erik had to stand up fast to catch her before she toppled over in a weakened heap.

His big wide mouth was glossy with her slick. The thick fingers of his right hand made a steady journey along the curve of her ass as they dropped behind her. Their final destination was the steady thrusts into her drenched opening. Slow. Steady.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

So far in.

Out.

In….out…deeper…in…out…

"Fuck, Erik!" she wailed as he manipulated her walls, the gushy sounds making her mouth quirk into a tight pout. Her lips fell open and closed in quick succession as his fingers fucked her pussy.

Sabine's head dropped forward and her eyes saw his fat dick pointing straight at her belly with a large shiny teardrop of pre-cum dangling off of the swollen tip. A fat vein stood out on top of his length and Sabine felt her mouth water. When she moaned from staring at his eager erection, the pre-cum dripped down in a long shiny thread. More glossy lubricant bubbled out of his slit and she gasped at the erotic masculine beauty before her. Her wanton voice made his dick twitch and bounce and she wondered how she ever had that wondrous juicy thing inside of her so long ago. She had stretched around that hot length. Actually lived and walked another day from its lecherous pounding. She had inner walls that knew all its secrets. That nigga had broken her down, and then some, and he was prepared to do it again.

"Erik!" she shouted.

His index and pointer finger were sheathed inside her tight pussy giving light taps against her spot. She lifted up on her tiptoes as sweat trickled down her face. His face was pinched and his lips were twisted up in anger. The fingertips from his other hand slapped her clit. Hard. He struck her there again, the sting making her clit thump with deep pleasure that reverberated inside of her pussy making her walls clench around his inserted fingers. Delving deeper, the assault on her walls with his curved fingertips was merciless.

"Dirty bitch!" he shouted.

Confusion fell across her face. Anger was dripping from his voice but there was lust swimming in it too. His eyes narrowed. He looked at her with a feral expression on his face that he had the first time she met him. The fingers in her pussy tapped her spot again and her legs turned to jelly and shook once more.

"I told you I was getting divorced. I told you that you'd be mine. I asked you to give me time. But you fucking let that bitch ass Frenchie get in my pussy."

SLAP!

Sabine closed her eyes as the sting against her clit shot an electrical current straight up to her nipples and the roof of her mouth. She gasped like a fish out of water to handle his insistent fingering. Clear liquid silk oozed from her insides and coated his fingers into a slippery wet mess. He had her pussy talking and snitching on her.

"You were sending him videos of my pussy. How the fuck you think I felt when you sent me that shit on accident? Huh?"

"S-o—r-r-y—"

"Nah! Too late to be sorry. Too late for that!"

He shoved her back against the wall.

"You know what you made me do when I saw that video?"

She shook her head.

He gripped his dick and started jerking off. The spongy mushroom head had more girth when he squeezed under the tip.

"You made me beat this dick. I can have pussy anywhere in the world, but you had me on my bed beating the fuck out this pipe…"

Sabine let her right hand drift to her mound where she plucked at her clit piercing. Erik's eyes darted down to follow her movement and his lips parted.

"Fat pussy…" he hissed slamming his fist down to his balls that bounced from the hard contact.

"Yeah…yeah…" she panted.

Erik's eyes glazed over when he heard her. He squeezed his sack and moved closer so that his tip rested against her pussy where it wet her clipped and bikini shaved pubic hairs with his natural lubricant.

"You should've waited for me, Sugar."

"What I look like waiting for something that might never happen?"

She smirked at him. He didn't like that.

"I told you what I was doing."

Sabine rolled her eyes.

"Whatever," she teased.

He stopped stroking his dick.

She was shocked at the speed of his left hand wrapping around her throat and pressing her harder against the wall. He brought his face close to hers. His breath smelled of her Abuela's medicinal root and ginger tea.

"You didn't believe me?"

His fingers tightened.

"I don't believe what people say. I believe what they do."

"Is that right?"

His eyes were dark smoldering unblinking orbs. Like a serpent offering her the fruits of paradise…with a cost. They didn't match the soft dimples popping in his cheeks. The sinister-looking grin on his face had her worried.

"Yeah. That's right," she challenged.

Her eyes never wavered.

"Get your ass on that fucking bed."

He released her throat but his eyes dared her to disobey. Sabine took careful steps to the couch bed as the wind gave another ominous howl outside. She sat on the edge then wiggled back to the center. His erection was still bold as it swung and bounced with his walk to the other room. She heard him rummaging around his backpack and a few minutes later he strolled back with a condom on. Somehow, having his dick wrapped up made it look even more massive. Her pussy clenched once more thinking of the weight it held when it was inside of her before. He still looked pissed so she knew she was in trouble with him wielding that heavy meat like a battle-ax.

He crawled onto the bed and hovered above her.

"Open them legs up," he barked.

Words spoken. Legs spread.

Lining himself up to her dripping center, the rays from the late afternoon sunlight made his brown skin glow like burnished bronze. She allowed her fingers to trace up his arms and then she gripped him suddenly when he entered her with one powerful thrust.

"Oh, shit…Erik…ohmigod…!"

"Shut the fuck up! The only thing I want to hear talking is this pussy," he growled.

Her lips clamped shut and she just stared up at him as he grunted above her. Droplets of perspiration fell on her and the gold cross on his neck that her Abuela gave him for Christmas dangled above her, the bottom of it lightly touched and scraped across her hot skin. Erik's body was scorching, his body heat igniting her own temperature as he pumped into her with hard fast thrusts. His eyes watched her breasts bounce until she threw back her head and clawed his bulging biceps. Sabine widened her thighs and that heavy dick sank even deeper.

"Oh! Oh! God! Erik…fuck…baby…baby…"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?!"

"Ah…ah…ah…."

Sabine couldn't control what spilled from her throat. She tried to keep her mouth closed, actively worked to press her lips shut, but his dick was stretching her walls to capacity, and each time he moved, her clit felt a deep pressure. His girth tugged down on her hood making the friction unbearable. She was ready to explode all over him. The springs in the couch bed squeaked and groaned as Erik's weight smothered her pushing her deep into the mattress. She wouldn't be surprised if her body left a permanent imprint because of his literal fucking her through the damn thing.

"I'ma give you what you been missing. Playing around with that little boy… I'ma give you some of this Daddy dick. Break this pussy back in!"

He wasn't lying.

Spreading his thighs Erik pushed Sabine's ankles up to her ears and locked her the fuck down. She whimpered and took his dick like a big girl. He shifted his hips and Sabine threw her legs up over his shoulders forcing Erik to come closer to her face. Her tongue darted out and licked his lips and he finally allowed her to kiss him on the bed. Their mouths connecting once more detonated a supernova in their passionate embrace and caused Erik to stop thrusting. Her pussy was grateful for the interlude. He was beating it up so good she knew for sure that her grandmother could probably hear all the squelching it was doing far away at her house even with the wind blowing loud. Dropping her legs down, she grabbed for his neck and his kisses melted her, their tongues craving a long reunion together.

Erik started pumping again and they held their faces side by side as he smashed her walls to bits.

"Baby…baby…Sugar…," he panted.

Sabine's fingers clutched his sweaty back as she tried to hold on to him tight.

"I missed you so much, Erik."

Her words ignited something in him.

"Show me," he said.

Pulling his length from her, he dropped onto his back and she climbed on top of him. She reached between her legs and gripped his dick and guided it back into its snug home. Leaning forward she slowly sank down on his erection. Erik's eyes gazed at her pussy as it enveloped all of his wood. She spread her folds so he could see all of her wet pink soaking the condom and his clipped pubic hairs.

Sabine bounced for him as he cupped her breasts and when she felt more in control, she rested her hands on his chest and lifted to her feet forcing her ass cheeks to slap hard on his groin and upper thighs. Erik's hands dropped to his sides as he watched her move.

"Baby…do that shit…show me you love me…"

"Ooh!"

Sabine flung her head back as he coaxed her to ride him like a feisty cowgirl. She bucked all over his dick. When she looked back down at his face, he bit his bottom lip and held it like that as his eyes watched her tits jiggle and shake. She slid her fingers close to his necklace so she could caress the wide planes of his ample chest. He kept biting his sexy ass lips until she started circling her hips and squeezing her walls around him.

"Shit!"

"I'm showing you how much I love you," she purred stroking his beard then touching his lips. He kissed her fingers.

"You love me?" he asked.

"Yes. Oh! You hittin' my spot!"

Erik bit back a groan as he focused on keeping her spot taken care of. Ragged breaths greeted his lips from hers as she dropped down to kiss him. She nipped his lips with her teeth and he spanked her left ass cheek making it jiggle.

"You love me?" he asked again.

Dipping her tongue in his mouth again, Sabine pressed her breasts against his chest.

"Sugar…"

She raised her lips until they barely hovered above his.

"I love you. I never stopped loving you. I just ran away…I was angry…I was hurt. I know you said you were getting divorced…but it was hard for me. Alexandre was just a stupid distraction. I wanted to forget you. Forget Calista. She's always going to be a part of your life. I hate that Erik. I also hate that because of her, I was able to meet you."

He cradled her cheek then swept both of his hands along her lower back.

"Don't talk about her. Don't even worry about her. Just focus on us—"

"What are we, Erik?"

"What do you want us to be?"

"I'm not exactly sure. But I love you. I want to be with you. I don't want to take Calista's spot or play Mommy to your children. That's not my place."

"What do you want your place to be with me?"

She looked away from his face but he pulled it back to him.

"Tell me, Sugar. Do you want a casual relationship? Do you want me to court you…?"

She giggled and his dimples peeked out again.

"When Papi gets back here I will ask his permission to date you…your Mama too."

Sabine felt sincerity from him.

"Why do you love me?" she asked.

Erik's forehead wrinkled.

"Why do I love you-?"

"Yeah? You can have anyone. What value do I bring to you? I'm new to everything. I'm still basically growing up. Shit…six months ago I was a student in a classroom. I'm not exactly the most mature thing out here on some days."

"I love your heart. Your spirit. I love your openness. I love that impulsive nature about you. Your outlook on life. You make life better for me…for my kids."

"People are going to talk mad shit about us."

"We'll keep us private then."

"What about Deuce and Marina? They are hitting another rough patch and we're supposed to navigate that while dating? Do I sleepover? Do we meet up at hotels?"

"Let's just take it slow and get to know each other all over again."

"Your dick is in my pussy right now. How is that taking it slow?"

Erik burst out laughing and she slapped his chest.

"I'm serious, Erik."

"Should we stop having sex then?"

"No! I mean…we're kind of beyond taking it slow."

"Okay, then it sounds like you want it private. We can do that."

"I'm not sure if we should date while you are taking care of them for these next couple of months."

"Why not? It's the perfect time. We can all get to know each other as a unit. I'm a package deal, Sugar. I can't separate myself from my children. The kids adore you…even Deuce. Shit, the kids actually take the pressure off of us."

"How so?"

"We can do fun stuff together. We all have similar interests and you won't have to go through that awkward getting to know you phase."

"What about my parents? I don't know if things have changed in their mind about us."

"I feel like it has. They know me better—"

"Calista?"

"I told you to keep her out of your head. She is a non-entity when it comes to me and you. You have to compartmentalize. I will only deal with her through the children and away from you."

"Do you even think about how she'll react knowing she brought me to you?"

"I don't care. We're here now. Dassit. Why are you scared?"

"I'm not scared."

"Yes, you are."

"Why aren't you scared?"

"I am scared."

Sabine stroked his cheek.

"You are?"

"Yeah. But I'm okay with being scared now. I have you. I'm going to work hard to get through my fears. I'm making it up as I go, but I'm going to work hard…for you. For Deuce and Marina."

"Do it for yourself, Erik."

"I will."

He lifted his head so that he could lick the seam of her mouth. She accepted his kiss and allowed him to slip his tongue deep within.

Gripping her hips, he thrust up into her and she gasped.

"Take it…" he murmured jackhammering into her core.

"Erik!"

He palmed her ass cheeks.

"Arch your back!" he shouted.

"Erik…"

"Arch your fucking back!"

He slapped her ass several times making each cheek smart with a sharp pain that bloomed into sweet heat beneath her skin. Sabine tucked her face against his neck and popped her backside out.

"Fuck!" he cried out.

"Right there…"

"Hold still…don't move Sugar…I said don't fucking move! Keep that back arched!"

"I can't…"

Sabine wiggled her hips fighting his thrusts. It was too much to take. Her release lingered at the precipice and he was about to shove her over. Erik beat her ass cheeks with his hands until they were on fire and that heat engulfed her belly, her swollen clit, and her anus. It flared out through her thighs and raced down her legs, and just when she was about to shout out their safe word, he wrapped his arms around her waist and fucked her until she was screaming his name.

"I'm cumming for you…I'm cumming Erik! Ooohhh!"

"Sugar!"

His hands clutched her hips and she felt his length swell inside her as his body went stiff.

"Fuck…fuck…fuck!"

His head fell back onto the pillow as she kissed the side of his neck. He groaned louder as his release continued. Eyes closed tight he shivered through the last of his orgasm.

"I might've busted the condom," he murmured.

Sabine reached between them and gripped his slowly softening penis at the root. She lifted off of him and they both inspected the condom. It was intact and the tip was filled with a lot of ejaculate. When Erik pulled it off, there was a small tear they didn't see and a tiny bubble of semen leaked out.

"Looks like it tore when I pulled out," he said.

"I'm good," she said, letting him know she wasn't freaking out.

He tied it up.

"I'll be right back. Gonna toss it in the outhouse."

She nodded.

He threw on his slides and left through the back door buck naked. The wind had eased up and Sabine stared at the ceiling waiting for Erik to return. When he did, his eyes regarded her with quiet affection as he stood at the end of the bed.

"What?" she said.

"I wish I could have you naked like this all the time."

"Well, now you can."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Sabine let her right hand drop between her open legs as she fondled her clit. Staring at Erik's body she allowed her eyes to rake up and down his form.

"Like what you see?" he asked.

She saw his dick plumping up again and her pussy shivered deep inside needing him back between her legs once more.

"I love it," she said.

He went back to the second bedroom and she heard him crinkle another condom wrapper. When he crawled onto the bed next to her he threw her left leg over his waist forcing them to face one another on their sides. His eyes watched her pussy when he entered her again, and he groaned long and loud when he was rooted deep within her. Erik fucked her slow and she held his arm as they stared into each other's eyes.

"You feel so good," he said.

His voice was shaky and grew shakier the moment he heard more loud gushy sounds emanating from her pussy. She felt her eyes grow heavy from the deep strokes he gave her. He palmed her right breast and squeezed it.

"…dick so good…" she panted

"Tight young pussy handling this dick, baby…"

"…this your pussy Erik…"

"Say that again…"

"…yours…"

"Fuck me, girl…"

"Yeah…"

"Take Daddy's dick."

"Yeah…yeah…so deep…"

Erik's fingers released her breast and dropped down to play with her clit.

"Fuck…Erik…"

"I'ma go deeper, okay? You can take all of it. Lemme get balls deep…there you go…there you go…fuck…I'm stretching you out girl…shit tight as fuck. Daddy giving you some deep dick now…nah…nah…don't pull back. Keep your ass right where you are…"

His fingers manipulated her bud and his eyes never left hers.

"Cum on my dick again baby," he whispered.

Sabine felt water in her eyes as he pinched and stroked her clit.

"I want to see your pussy cum on me," he grunted.

She had no choice. The way he manipulated her clit and her folds, the way his dick filled her up until she felt like it was in her chest, Sabine had no control over her body. It belonged to him.

"Cum on me, Sugar. You're my woman now. Give me what's mine."

"Yeah…shit…"

Erik dragged his fingers from her clit and raced them up to her stomach and then thrust them in her mouth forcing her to suck her juices from them.

"See how good you taste?"

His hips wound slowly, his thrusts became calculated, and his heavy dick made her clit fall apart. Her body spasmed as he held her tight. Their eyes were still locked together.

"Baby…" he whispered.

Her cries of pleasure came out in rapid succession as her pussy throbbed and contracted around his dick. His eyes dropped down to watch her opening tighten rhythmically. She grew limp, but he held onto her.

"Fuck, Sugar. You so damn beautiful when you cum on my dick."

He kissed her and she was able to throw her arms around his neck and shoulder. Erik's fingers fumbled around his dick. She looked down and saw that he removed the condom. He started stroking his dick and pushed her back from him.

"I know you not ready for me to cum in you…open your pussy lips for me. I wanna nut on you."

His erection was so stiff in his hand, the thick veins making her lick her lips.

"Open that pussy up," he demanded.

She moved back a little more and used fingers from both hands to spread her slick folds back for him.

"Fuck. Look at that."

He leaned forward and pursed his lips. A long stream of spit fell from his lips and landed on her blue jewel embedded in her clit then dribbled down to her fingers and slit.

"I'm 'bout to nut, Sugar."

"Cum for me…"

He pressed his fat tip against her opening. His eyes wrenched themselves from looking at her pussy to catch her eyes again. She licked her lips and pouted. His mouth went lax as he stared at her.

"You made my pussy so sore. You must want to fuck me all night—"

"Mmmhmmm!"

"My tight little pussy belongs to you—"

"Fuck yeah!"

"When we get back to San Diego, I'll let you cum all over my face."

"Yes!"

"I'll suck your dick whenever you want me to—"

"Shit!"

Erik's head dropped forward his eyes blazing. His fingers twisted around his tip.

"You want to cum in my pussy?"

"Yes, Baby!"

He grit his teeth and she could see his gums. His release was imminent.

"All in this pink, wet, deep pussy—"

Erik shot hot ribbons of semen all over the entrance of her slit. He was dangerously close to ejaculating inside of her. They both knew it. He smeared his cum all over her open folds with his dick. She slipped her finger around his length and jerked out the last of his release.

Her eyes went to the round clock hanging above the bathroom door.

"They'll be back soon," she said.

"Will we have time for another round? I need to fuck you from behind."

"We'll have to save that for another time."

"Just give me about thirty minutes."

Sabine jumped off the bed.

"I'm going to take another shower in my parent's bathroom and then I'm going back to hang out with my grandmother until everyone gets back."

Erik threw up his hands and tried to sit up.

"Shit!" he shouted.

Erik's entire backside crashed down with part of the mattress through the metal springs of the couch bed.

"Fuck!" Sabine said running to help him up.

"We broke it," Erik lamented as he rubbed his butt.

"Maybe we can fix it," Sabine said.

They both tried to pull up the flimsy mattress, but it was jammed tight down through the springs.

"Let's fold it up and push the springs back from the bottom," Erik suggested.

The damaged springs locked the couch bed from folding back up when he tried.

"God, everyone's going to know we were fucking on it," Sabine whined.

"I'll just sleep on the other side for now, and I'll figure something out. Go take your shower."

Sabine ran into her parent's bathroom again and showered quickly. Throwing on the clothes she had on before, she kissed Erik on the lips and ran to her grandmother's house.

Lila was still asleep in her bedroom and Sabine gave a sigh of relief. Butchie was happy to see her and she played with him until she saw the headlights from two vehicles entering their property. Everyone was back.

"Sugar," Lila called out.

"I'm here."

Sabine walked into her room. The light from her grandmother's kerosene lamp gave the room a warm cozy glow. Across from Lila's bed was a small altar on a table pushed against a pink painted wall. Two candles encased in tall glass containers, one red and the other white, burned in front of a small Virgin Mary statue. Dried corn and dried flowers sat on the cloth along with a dried decorated chicken foot. A few dried gourds were spread around next to a pile of dried tobacco leaves and dried Mexican purple sage.

"Siéntate."

Sabine sat down on Lila's bed.

"Before you all leave, I want to speak to Erik."

"Why?"

"He tenido sueños…"

"Dreams?"

"Premoniciones."

Sabine felt nervous. Premonitions?

"Good things?" Sabine asked.

"This is for his ears only."

There was a knock on the front door. Sabine went to answer it. Butchie ran out barking toward their house.

"Hey, Mommy."

Belinda stepped inside.

"Lila okay?"

"She's better."

"We went to the bakery in town. You better go get you some chocolate conchas before Deuce and Marina eat them all…hey, you alright?"

"Yeah."

"Go on over, I'll hang out here for a minute," Belinda said.

Sabine nodded.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look a little green around the gills."

"I'm fine."

Belinda stared at her and then walked to the back room.

Sabine took her time heading back to her parent's house. She could hear Erik's kids talking to Papi and her brother was on the roof playing his guitar and serenading the few stars popping out for the night with Yvette sitting next to him and snapping her fingers. Rounding the front, she saw Erik stoking a fresh fire in the fire pit while her two uncles and two teenaged cousins sat around him warming their hands. A big grin spread on his face when he saw her, but then it faded.

"What's wrong?"

"My grandmother wants to talk to you before we leave tomorrow."

"Right now?"

"She just said before we leave."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"She said she had a dream…a premonition about you. But it's only for you to hear."

"Should I be worried? Is it that bruja stuff?" he joked.

"I don't know but she sounded serious."

"Okay. I'll go see her before breakfast—"

"Butchie!" Marina shouted.

Sabine and Erik ran into the house.

Marina and Deuce stood around the couch bed as Cedro tried to help the dog whose legs were jammed down into the depression of the broken springs.

"Sorry about that. Looks like this old thing finally gave out. He was jumping all over it before I could get him down," Cedro said.

Erik helped Papi lift the pudgy dog up and placed him on the floor.

"Bad dog!" Marina scolded.

Erik gave Sabine a glance and they both tried to hide a shared laugh. Saved by a wild acting dog. Sabine walked over to the dining table and grabbed a cookie from the baked goods they brought back. She couldn't even enjoy the fresh Mexican treat because her thoughts were on Erik. Her grandmother was always accurate when she gave consultations. The fact that it was one that came from her sleep worried Sabine the most. The dream world put Abuela in touch with the ancestors, and whatever she needed to pass on to Erik was important in that realm.

Fuck.

Sabine prayed it was good omens.


	37. Fool For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik and his family return home with Sugar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This election has me stressed!

"That real, that deep, that burning, and amazing, unconditional, inseperable love.  
That feel like forever, that always emotional and still exceptional love.  
Can't nobody tell me nothin', said it is what it is.  
Any mistake you make I just might forgive.

Right now, right now, in this very moment, I still love him like I loved him then.  
I love him in and out and up and down and 'round and 'round and over and over again.  
So rare, they swear that YOU just don't exist.

There's only one person I can think of that makes me feel like this.  
I'm a fool, such a fool for you…"

Alice Smith – "Fool For You"

Erik was nervous walking up the tawny dirt path that led to Sugar's grandmother's house.

The rest of the Moreno clan and his own family sat waiting for him at their house that was closer to the water. Before he took the stroll over to see the respected bruja, Sugar confided in him that what would be revealed to him may not become clear or make sense to him until much later in time. This did little to reassure him or calm his anxious mind.

Erik wiped his feet on the dark brown front door mat and stepped into an immaculate home that smelled of coffee and cooking soup. He took off his shoes and left them by the front door and waited for the elder woman. She emerged from her bedroom in the back of the house dressed in a simple pale green gingham house dress and soft pink slippers. Lila wore several small-beaded multi-colored necklaces and a mother of pearl rosary with a gold cross.

"Sit," she said pointing to a couch covered with a peach and yellow blanket. He sat down and his knees hit the coffee table by accident.

"Sorry," he said.

His eyes regarded the dark table with a medium-sized sterling silver bowl filled with plain water on top of it. A small copper incense burner sat next to the bowl with a green Hershey's kiss-shaped lump of incense burning on it. It smelled like grape-flavored bubble gum and a hint of lavender.

Lila walked to the side of the couch and reached over to open yellow curtains behind him. The same half-moon windows that Cedro and Belinda's house had were there bringing in the early morning light. She sat down next to him.

"Give me your hands," she said.

Erik moved them over to her and she turned them over, studying each palm, her fingers stroking the rough and smooth parts.

"Gracias," she said releasing his hands.

She pointed to the bowl of water.

"Lectura de agua…I will read the water now."

"Wait. What made you want to do this? Sugar said you dreamed about me?"

"When things come to me in dreams, I have no choice but to speak on it. You are with my granddaughter—"

"We just decided to be together—"

"That was a long time ago," she said.

A small impish smile appeared on Lila's face and Erik felt his face grow warm. Busted.

"Your connection to her is very strong. I felt it the moment I met you in San Diego."

"We met before?"

"Sugar's graduation party. You helped me carry a tray to my table when I had too many things in my hand."

"I'm sorry I don't remember that."

"There were a lot of people there and everyone was talking and eating. But I knew then. The energy you gave off spoke to me. Sugar was filled up with so much…yearning. You love each other. We all see it. Even your children."

"My kids?"

"Yes."

"Do you disapprove of me?"

"I like you. You are good for each other."

"Your son doesn't agree."

"Cedro is protective. I am too. But Sugar is not a child."

"That's what I told him."

Her eyes glanced back at the bowl of water.

"I will look into the water…aye, don't be scared Erik. This is nothing scary. I look into the water after I touch it, and I will focus my eyes on seeing what belongs to you. When I tell you what I see…keep it inside—"

"It's only for me to know, right?"

"Yes. Talking about it makes it…more cloudy. It is just useful information. I can't always explain fully what I see because it comes from another realm, but I do my best to interpret what is there."

"Will I be able to see anything?"

"Not unless you are gifted yourself. Ready?"

"Yeah."

Lila drew the incense smoke toward her nostrils and inhaled deeply. Erik watched her eyes. She touched her rosary and closed her eyes. She whispered Spanish words as she touched each bead on her rosary until she did a full prayer circle. Her eyes opened and she dipped her index and middle finger into the water and stirred it. Erik held his breath not sure what to expect. When Lila removed her fingers, she stared at the water and went into an almost trance-like state. Sunlight cast down into the bowl, and the glint of silver and the shine of the water became hypnotic to Erik and he found himself staring at it too. His breathing became less anxious and the sun warmed up his skin.

Nearly ten minutes went past and Lila's eyes finally broke away from the deep concentration with the liquid. She exhaled loudly while her fingers went back to her rosary beads touching the gold cross that dangled from it. For a moment her eyes looked down at her cross and then she raised them up to take in Erik's face. There was water in her eyes.

"What?" he said leaning toward her, his eyes darting down to the bowl.

Lila reached out for his hands again.

"Hold onto her for as long as you can," she said.

"I don't like the sound of that."

"She will put you on the path that you need to be on, and no matter how difficult it will be…and it will be difficult…you must keep a space for her in your heart even when that shine in your love grows dim. The waters will connect you always—"

"The waters? Surfing?"

"No, the…um…the big waters…hmmm…the sea…nothing to do with surfing. Right now your paths are side by side, but they will shift and change, but you must not despair. Even when it looks like the road has gone in the opposite direction, you must stay open to her."

"She's going to leave me. That's what you're telling me—"

"It's not that simple. I catch glimpses of things, but how they play out in waking life is up to you."

"So what you tell me doesn't mean it will come true automatically."

"I see a future for you both—"

"Together?"

"Together…but—"

"Nah."

Erik shot up from the couch.

"I don't wanna hear no more. You see us together, that's all I need to know—"

"Erik, wait, it's not—"

"Stop. Please. You had tears in your eyes about something and I don't…I don't want to know anymore. I want to create my own future with her."

Lila stood up and touched the side of his face.

"Okay," she whispered.

Erik studied her eyes once more. A lump swelled in his throat.

"I love her," he said.

"I know. What I said was not very clear. I know that. But my words were for your subconscious mind…the mind behind the mind. Does this make sense?"

"Kind of."

"Your mind will not hear me, but your heart will. Your spirit. That is enough for me."

"Goodbye, Ms. Lila," he said.

Erik's legs moved swiftly back to the other house.

Sugar and Robert were sitting outside with Yvette waiting for him.

"How'd it….?"

Sugar gazed in his eyes and her voice just stopped in mid-sentence.

"All good," Erik said mustering up a smile.

They were going to be together.

He willed it.

###

The return trip seemed to be shorter than the long drive down to San Felipe.

Erik drove Sugar's van the moment they crossed the border. When his shoulder ached a little bit, her brother took over. Sitting in the front passenger seat as Robert guided them back to San Diego, Erik saw the back of his children's heads in Cedro's SUV. They wanted to ride home with Cedro and Belinda, so Robert bounced back with them and Butchie. When they reached East County, it began to rain and Sugar took over the last leg into the city. On a bathroom break at a McDonald's in Mission Valley, the children switched with Robert again, and Sugar drove them to Erik's home.

They unpacked and tossed trash in the garage trash can, and when Yvette and the kids went to bed, Erik asked Sugar to spend the night with him. Lila's words still had him edgy.

"I want to. Do you think that's smart right now?" she asked.

"It's late. The kids will be knocked out completely soon. Yvette is out."

"Are you sure?"

They stood in his kitchen on opposite sides of his island counter.

"I need you with me tonight."

"I need you too."

He walked around the island and grabbed her waist, pulling her in tight.

"Baja was phenomenal. Deuce and Marina can't stop talking about it. Thank you."

"Thank you for joining us."

"I want us to work, Sugar."

"I do too."

Her fingers ran up and down his shoulders.

"Shoulder doing okay?" she asked.

"Painkillers are all gone since last night."

He nuzzled his lips against her neck and kissed her.

"We should be in your room for all this," she sighed.

"Let's tell the kids tomorrow…about us. I don't want to wait or hide it from them."

"You don't want to wait a couple of months? Let them get used to the changes—"

"If that's what you want. Then I'll do it."

"I would prefer that—"

"You don't have to do that."

Erik and Sugar jumped when they heard Deuce's voice.

He wandered into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Grabbing a Coke can, he opened it and took a long sip watching them.

Sugar jumped back from Erik and Deuce laughed at her.

"You should be asleep by now," Erik said.

"I was, but I got thirsty."

Deuce gulped down his soda and tossed the can in the recycling bucket next to the stove.

"Sit down," Erik said.

Deuce hopped onto a stool and faced Erik and Sugar.

"I should go," Sugar said.

Erik reached over and clasped her hand in his.

"No."

"This should probably be a private family conversation."

"Stay," Erik said.

Erik turned his attention back to his son.

"A lot happened on this trip," Erik said.

"Yeah," Deuce answered.

"You want to live with me."

"Yeah."

"I want you to stay with me too."

Deuce's face lit up.

"For real? I can?"

"I'm going to work on that. But you need to know that I will be seeing Sugar—"

"Dating," Sugar interjected.

"Dating. Does that bother you? I know you're adjusting to the divorce. I know you said that you're glad that it's done—"

"You like each other. You get along. Sugar is fun. Her parents love me. It's all good, Dad."

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt your feelings if you think it's too soon for me."

"You seem happy with her."

"She makes me happy."

"Good. Do we have to talk about it more?"

"We will. Tomorrow. Go on to bed."

"Night," Deuce said.

"Night," Sugar said with a look of relief in her eyes.

Deuce slipped off of the stool and walked around the island. He gave Erik a hug and left the kitchen.

"One down," Sugar said.

Erik nodded.

"Marina may be a little harder," he said.

"How so?"

"She's upset about Deuce staying with me. I think she believes that divorce will just mean I don't live with Calista, but we'll still be a unit."

"Okay, now I'm definitely going to my parents tonight. Don't beg me to stay. I want to leave knowing that at least one child is cool with us. Don't pout."

Erik's lip poked out even more and he gave her hound dog eyes.

"Stop…"

Erik moved in closer and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"No, that won't work…"

He pressed his lips onto hers. She pulled her face away.

"I said no…"

He planted more soft kisses on her cheek and up and down her throat.

"Okay, maybe that will work."

He laughed and ran his tongue around the shell of her ear before nipping it at the lobe.

"I'll stay, but we're not having sex and I'm leaving early before anyone else gets up."

###

Erik had his hand wrapped around Sugar's mouth as he pounded her from behind.

Spooned together on his bed, he pumped into her with deep strokes, her pussy molded around his dick gripping it tightly. She whimpered into his palm; their lovemaking was heightened with all the new tension from being a couple…a real couple at last.

He didn't have to worry about his bed making noise as he put it down on her, and he didn't have to worry about his children hearing them from the second floor with the high ceilings the house had. Yvette was across the hall in the third-floor guest room and her door was open. Erik's door was closed, but he didn't want to take a chance of his sister hearing him beat up good pussy with the way Sugar was carrying on before he clamped down on her mouth. He squeezed a breast while his index finger flicked her piercing as he thrust harder into her.

"Lemme hit it from the back a little better," he snarled in her ear.

He pulled out of her sloppy pussy and removed his hand from her mouth. She panted and crawled to the middle of his huge bed. Dropping her head to the blanket, she popped her ass out for him and he wasted no time getting back into her wet pink slit.

"Arch your back!"

Sugar watched his face from the blanket as he rolled his hips slowly giving her that deep-deep. She shoved her fingers up against her mouth and Erik leaned back to get a good look at his dick being swallowed by her folds. Her pretty brown pussy lips revealed sweet pink walls that slickened the razor-thin condom he wore. She chose the ribbed brand from his bathroom. He sank back down into her and gripped her waist.

"Cheeks is clappin', baby," he groaned.

Sugar turned her head and sucked on his blankets to keep her cries of pleasure from escaping out loud. Erik watched her backside bounce from the force of his demanding fucking.

"Take care of this dick!"

"Yes!" she moaned into the cover.

"Throw it back on me."

He stopped moving and watched her fuck him back. Her back was damp with sweat and her head lifted up and down as she thrust her cute rump on him. He smacked her ass a few times to force her to work harder.

"Give that shit to me. Stop playing, girl."

Her fingers clawed the jade blanket.

"Play with your clit!" he commanded.

Her right hand dipped down and he could feel her flicking that hard bud. He slipped his thumb into her ass and she yelped. He watched it pucker and throb around his digit and he pushed it further in. Her fingers snaked down to his balls where she fondled his fat sack.

"Baby," he groaned.

She tickled the seam on his balls and he smashed them forcefully against her ass.

"You're so hard, Erik," she panted.

"Pussy tight, Sugar. I like how you gripping Daddy's dick—"

"Yes!"

Sugar shoved her face back into the blanket where she hid a scream as he switched up his stroke and hit that sweet spot of hers.

"Creaming on my shit…"

"Yeah…yeah…yeah…fucking me so good, Erik…"

Erik's right hand crossed over to grip her left ass cheek as his left hand supported his own back. He watched a shiver ripple across her body and sharp clenches on his dick let him know she was cumming. He ran his hands across her shoulders and she whimpered loudly as the last of her orgasm trickled out along his length.

Pulling out of her once more, Erik dragged the condom off of his erection. He slapped Sugar's right ass cheek. She rolled over and grabbed two of the four large overstuffed pillows on Erik's bed and laid her head on them as she faced him sideways.

"Open your mouth," he grunted.

Sugar wrapped her lips around his dick and sucked him off while he played with her tits.

"Suck it good…"

She worked her throat on him as saliva fell from her lips onto the pillows.

"Cum on my face, Erik…"

"Ohhhh…."

Erik fisted his erection onto Sugar's tongue, his left hand pinching her pebbled left nipple.

"Nut all over my face."

"Shiiitttt!"

Thick hot cum spurted out from his dick and painted Sugar's face. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back so he could finish drenching her lips.

"Got me cumming so hard!"

Erik pursed his lips as the final spurt of ejaculate left his body. Out of breath, he flopped down next to her. Sugar played with the cum on her face and licked some of it. He slapped her ass and she rolled over to the edge of the bed.

"Where you going?"

"Bathroom," she said.

She padded to his bathroom and he heard her rinsing off her face. She walked back in and handed him a warm hand towel to wipe up semen from his dick. When he was done using it, she took the condom and hand towel back into the bathroom. He heard her urinate and wash her hands and when she sauntered back to his bed, his body had calmed down.

Kissing her, he stroked her hip and stared into her eyes.

"Comfortable?"

"Yeah. I feel so good," she said stretching her arms.

Her eyes stared at the ceiling and he reached down and held her hand. Sugar's grandmother told him to hold onto her as long as he could. It sounded ominous at first, but she did say they would be together. However, she did say "But" at one point…

"What's that?"

Erik looked over at Sugar. Her eyes were focused on the corner of his ceiling. She pointed.

Six reinforced brass hooks were in the ceiling and another six were spread on the wall with nothing hanging on them.

"You want anything to drink?" he said sitting up.

"Changing the subject I see."

Sugar sat up and adjusted the pillows behind her back.

"What are they for? Plants?"

"No."

"Then what?"

He glanced over at them.

"They're for my ropework."

"Ropework?"

"I mentioned it to you before…Shibari? Kinbaku?"

Her face looked a little puzzled. He raised himself off of the bed and held out his hand. She took it and he led her to his large walk-in closet. Turning on the overhead light he allowed her to look around.

"Sheesh, this is bigger than my bedroom at my parents," she said.

Designer clothes aligned the entire perimeter of the room and in the middle were shelves that housed expensive shoes. A handcrafted shelf on one wall displayed watches, jewelry, and all kinds of fronts and slugs: gold, platinum, and diamonds.

"Nice," she said taking it all in.

A large cabinet on the far wall was decorated with black, gold, and purple Japanese dragons.

"Wow," she said.

Erik opened the cabinet and Sugar's voice was filled with more awe.

On one side of the interior of the cabinet doors was a large black and white photo of a fair-skinned woman tied with intricate roping and strung up by a harness and hung upside down. On the other side was a large color photo of a dark brown Black woman tied up with bright red rope that made her melanin pop. The centerpiece was what the cabinet revealed in its interior. Ropes of every color hung up carefully on gold hooks.

"You know how to do that?" she asked.

He nodded.

"I did those two women."

"Did them, or did them? As in sex?" she joked.

"Both."

Her eyes shot back to both pictures.

"Is it sexually stimulating for you to tie women up, or is the art itself?" she asked.

"Both."

"May I?"

Her fingers reached out toward the ropes.

"Go ahead."

She stroked the bound coils of rope before her eyes regarded him again.

"How long have you been doing this?"

"About twelve years now."

"That long?"

"I learned in Oakland and San Francisco. I'm still mastering it."

"Looks awesome to me. Did you tie Calista up?"

"No. She wasn't open-minded about it. She found it degrading."

"I don't."

Sugar's eyes had a gleam in them.

"Good to know," he said.

He closed the cabinet back up.

"So those hooks in your bedroom…"

"I use them with these ropes."

"How many have you tied up here?"

"Two. I travel to L.A., San Francisco, and New York for shows and gatherings. I have connections in Japan and London."

"Would you tie me up?"

He dragged his eyes up and down her naked form.

"I will tie you up."

Her lips parted. He felt his dick thicken. Sugar dropped her fingers down around the tip and twisted under the thick ridge. She made his dick wet with pre-cum and fingered the slickness all down the sides. She stopped suddenly and walked out of the closet. He stood there with a hard dick and a confused face. Sugar returned and held up a condom. Erik took it from her hand and opened it carefully. She helped him roll it down his erection and then turned away from him. Opening up the dragon cabinet again, she rested her hands on the bottom of it. Looking back at him, she licked her lips and poked her ass out.

"Which one would you tie me up with?"

Her voice was wanton, almost breathless, and Erik became weak for her. He inserted the head of his dick inside her opening and teased her with the girth.

"I'd use a basic plain rope first," he said.

He slipped deeper inside of her and she gasped with excitement. He fucked her slow and steady. Sugar's fingers reached up and touched two different rope bundles, a red rope and a black one. She gripped them tight when he held her shoulders for support.

"Ooh…ooh…yeah…fuck me…" she whined.

He lost it.

Snatching up her arms, he pulled them back and punished her folds. He rode her pussy for a long time, letting her know that he owned her now. She was his woman. He was her man.

Reaching around to stroke her clit, he shouted loudly when he came and Sugar cried out her release right after him.

###

Erik woke up the next morning feeling good. He reached his hand out to his right side and no one was there.

"Sugar?"

He walked into the bathroom. She wasn't in there. It was early in the morning and the sun was barely up. Erik sat back down on his bed and grabbed his cell checking for messages. She left him one.

Whose training today?

The same message was in his social media DMs too.

He typed into his phone.

I guess I will be. Later on. Just my legs.

How is your arm?

Erik rotated it. It was stiff. But felt okay.

Feels fine.

Good. Go to Einstein's Bagels and bring me and Marina toasted cranberry bagels with butter, and, tomatoes. And orange juice.

Where are you?

Look outside.

Erik threw on the sweats he had on the day before and sauntered out onto his balcony. Sugar and Marina were on the patio waxing their surfboards and already in wetsuits.

"Morning," Sugar called up.

Marina looked up and waved.

"Hi, Daddy. Two bagels for me, please."

Erik smiled.

"Bagels and orange juice coming right up," he called down.

He watched Sugar and his baby girl walk out of the patio and head out toward the water. Walking into his bathroom, he prepared to take a long shower and then check in with Deuce and Yvette. His cell vibrated on the bathroom counter.

"What did you forget?" he said chuckling into the phone.

"Erik?"

It was Calista.


	38. Until Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik introduces Sugar to a new world of artistry and kink as they also navigate the return of Calista while juggling the surfing circuit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Wavy Wednesday!  
> Doing my best to keep my Wednesday updates. This is a nice long chapter! Enjoy!

"Everything I'll give to you darling but  
Until we reach morning you're mine  
And don't you worry now baby  
I'm the man you been craving this time

Guess you been dreaming 'bout me day and night  
I think that's real 'cause then you won't forget me  
And it's the reason why I hold you tight  
And I won't pray that day dies in kind  
You know I wished you were here all the time  
(You know I wished you were here all the time)  
Living my fantasies out in real life…"

James Vickery—"Until Morning"

"Erik?"

"Hey."

"Are you all back in San Diego?"

"Yeah."

Erik stood up and closed the sliding glass door to his balcony.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Doing well."

"Um, Deuce might still be sleep and Marina is out surfing…"

"By herself?"

"No…um, Sugar is with her. We all got back late last night and she crashed here after driving us back."

Calista was quiet.

"She spent the night?"

"Yeah."

Erik saw Yvette leaving the guest bedroom and he jumped up from the bed and walked toward her waving his free hand at her. Yvette stopped and stared at him. Her blue hair bonnet was lopsided on her head from a rough sleep. She tightened the red terrycloth bathrobe she wore around her waist.

"What?" Yvette mouthed.

Erik muted his phone.

"Calista is on the phone. I told her Sugar spent the night here. Talk to her real quick and pretend like you're outside with Marina too."

"Why?"

"I don't want her to know about us yet…like that. I told her Sugar crashed here because it was late—"

"It was late—"

"But she won't hear it like that from me without suspecting more."

He waved his cell at her.

Yvette took his phone and unmuted it.

"Hey, Calista! How are you? Erik? He went to the bathroom real quick. We got in so late girl. Yes, we had a great time. The Moreno family really took good care of us. There were so many people there! That family is huge! I'm exhausted from all that constant activity. Anyways, here's Erik again. Sugar is showing me how to surf so I'ma go back outside."

Yvette gave him the cell back and he gave her the "okay" sign. His sister shook her head at him and walked down the steps.

"Is Deuce up?" Calista asked.

"I don't think so."

"I called too early then. He keeps his cell on mute all the time. Thought I could reach him through you better."

Erik caught a glimpse of Deuce walking into the family room carrying a bowl of frosted flakes.

"Looks like he's up. He's eating cereal. Hold on."

Erik walked down the last of the steps and eased into the family room.

"Your Mom," Erik said holding out his cell.

"I'll call her back."

"Talk to her," Erik insisted.

Deuce took the phone and rolled his eyes.

Erik strolled into his kitchen.

Yvette started the coffee maker and grabbed some mugs from the cupboard and headed to the island counter. She sat on a stool and tapped her finger on the marble.

"She's going to find out about you and Sugar. Just tell her that you're seeing her. Get it over with. All this tiptoe shit isn't healthy little brother."

"I don't feel like dealing with her issues and her knowing about Sugar too—"

"You are a divorced man. You fell in love with someone else. Your personal life is your personal life. You let her control so much of your existence. I don't understand it. Let her be big mad. Oh well."

"Easier said than done."

"Stop making her out to be this delicate flower. You know how many Black women juggle mental health, kids, divorce, and building wings as they free-fall over a cliff? Without the resources to spend months in a fancy wellness center? God, Erik! You piss me off with her."

"I want custody of my kids. I'm trying to keep our shit calm, Vette—"

"You have custody of them now. Deuce wants to stay with you. Use your lawyers to do what's best for them. Not her. That's all I'm saying."

The coffee maker chirped and Yvette poured them both hot steaming mugs.

"You need to talk to Deuce about her. Most kids want to be with their mother but he is hot in the feet to get away. That's a red flag," Yvette snapped at him.

Marina and Sugar burst back in. They left their wetsuits outside and walked barefoot through the house in swim shorts and tankinis.

"Coffee?" Erik offered to Sugar.

She snapped her fingers at him.

"Bagels and orange juice, Sir," she snapped playfully.

Marina copied her, snapping her fingers against Erik's cheek.

"Your Mom is on the phone. She's talking to Deuce,' Erik said.

Marina ran away to look for her brother. Erik slid off of the stool he was on.

"Off to get your breakfast," Erik said.

He kissed Sugar's cheek and grabbed his keys from a hook on the kitchen wall.

"Bacon croissant!" Yvette called to him.

Erik went to retrieve his phone. Marina was chattering away on it as she sat next to Deuce on the sectional.

"Have your Mom call you on the house phone," Erik said.

"Mommy, Daddy needs his phone back. He's going to get me bagels and juice. Okay. I'll wait."

Marina swiped the phone and handed it to Erik. The landline rang and Marina snatched it up and resumed talking about fishing and sparklers.

Deuce followed him to the garage.

"Sup, boy?" Erik asked pulling on his son's hair.

Deuce swatted his hand.

"I didn't say anything to Mom about you and Sugar."

Erik had a feeling Deuce would keep that to himself.

"Are you really okay with me and her?"

"Yeah. She's cool. Dad…"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think you should say anything to Marina yet."

"She'll be upset, huh?"

"I think so. Mom was juicing her for information about where Sugar slept last night."

Deuce's eyes regarded Erik's with curiosity. A trickle of discomfort ran through Erik's stomach. He had taught Deuce the essentials of sex and the boy wasn't stupid. He knew Sugar slept in his bed.

"What did Marina say?"

"She's a spaz, she ignored Mom as usual and went off about riding the ATVs."

"Did your Mom ask you about it?"

"No. We talked about Mission Bay High."

"Okay. I'ma go to Einstein's and get this food. We'll talk more later. But I need to know something."

"What?"

"What's up with your mother? Why do you want to leave her so bad?"

The directness threw Deuce for a loop. For once the boy was speechless.

"Get in the car," Erik said opening up his Acura.

The drive over was filled with NPR news on the radio and Erik adjusting the heat in the interior.

"Talk to me," Erik said.

Deuce thrummed his fingers on the door armrest.

"I don't feel comfortable around her anymore."

"Be more specific lil man."

"She looks at me sometimes in this weird way. I can't explain it…it's like she stares at me like I'm a stranger or something. We argue a lot over stupid stuff that she never cared about before, and she picks at me even when I try to ignore her. She doesn't do that to Marina. She's just on me all the time non-stop. I can't breathe around her. I don't get into any bad shit, Dad—"

"Language—"

"Sorry. I do what I'm supposed to do. My school work. I act right at all her social events. Around her friends. And she drinks a lot…"

Erik glanced over at him.

"Mainly at home. She drinks and smokes her cigarettes in the house and just stares out of her bedroom window like she's in a daze."

"Marina doesn't have problems with her?"

"No. Mom almost…" Deuce turned his head to look out of the passenger window.

"She almost what?"

Erik pulled into the Einstein Brother's parking lot. Turning off the engine he faced Deuce. He let his son take his time answering.

"She almost acts like she's not interested in Marina because she's so controlling of me. Marina has it easier over there. I'm tired of the mind games. Just being in the room with Mom stresses me out."

"She doesn't physically do anything to you all that's bad, right?"

"Nah. She'd never do nothing like that. To her, me and Marina are like her perfect little minions…I mean…I know it sucks to get divorced, but she doesn't even try to make a better life for herself. There's this guy that she talks to—"

"She's seeing someone?"

"That would help," Deuce blurted out fast.

Erik smiled at him.

"You wouldn't be mad if she did?" Deuce asked.

"Nah. I'd be happy for her."

"I've never met this dude. I just hear her talking to him sometimes."

"How you know it's a guy?"

"You can tell. But she just friend zones him. I think he's Allison's cousin or something. I heard them talking about Mom dating again and putting herself out there. Even that actor dude from "Putnam Grand" has been tryna holla at her—"

"Which one?"

"The skinny one that plays the sheriff—"

"Ole corny dude?"

"Yeah. He's nice. We met him at the SAG Thanksgiving fundraiser in Santa Monica. She talked to him a couple of times. But she just ignores people and picks at me."

"This program she's in will change everything for her. She'll be a better person—"

"I want her to be better, Dad, I really do. I just don't want to stay with her when she does come back. I need a break."

They went into the shop and Erik purchased enough food and beverages to take care of everyone at home. They carried their goods back to the car and the ride home was pleasant. Deuce was happy. Erik was happy. Marina seemed happy too when he stepped back into his home.

His daughter, sister, and Sugar sat in the family room playing a video game and cheered when they saw all the bags in Erik and Deuce's hands. Everyone ate while watching Yvette and Sugar face off in a war game.

"Marina, could you go up and get my cell phone charger in my office," Erik said.

Marina jumped off the sectional next to Yvette and ran up the stairs.

Erik followed her.

His daughter happily grabbed the charger from his desk. Erik slipped into the room and closed the door behind him.

"Sit down, baby girl," he said pointing to the chair in front of his desk. He took the one behind it.

Marina's eyes watched his face with open curiosity. Erik sat his hands on his thighs.

"Did your Mom ask you about Sugar?"

"Yeah."

"What did she ask you?"

Staring at Marina was like looking at his own face as a child. She really was his little twin without dimples. Wide round nose. Full lips. Animated eyebrows. Chipmunk cheeks.

"Mommy asked if Sugar stayed with us."

"What did you tell her?"

"Am I in trouble?"

"Nah. I'm just curious."

"I said she spent the night here."

"That's all?"

Marina nodded, then she touched her cheek.

"She asked me where but I didn't know."

Erik tapped his knee.

"You like Sugar a lot, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I want to tell you something, baby girl. You know Mommy and me are divorced. We aren't getting back together again. We are going to love you and take care of you and Deuce for as long as we live. I know you were very upset about Deuce wanting to live with me, but he's having a difficult time with Mommy—"

"I know."

"You know? Can you tell me what's going on with them?"

Marina's eyes dropped to her lap and she cradled her hands against her stomach.

"They don't get along."

"Why not?"

She shrugged.

"You can tell me everything sweetheart. You're not snitching on your brother or Mommy. I just want to help make it better."

Marina's face crumpled then and her right hand covered her eyes as she wept silent tears.

"Ah…Muffin…come here…come here…"

Erik held out his arms and Marina climbed off the office chair and walked around his desk to climb on his lap. He stroked her braids as her head nestled under his chin. She felt so small against him.

"What is it?"

"Mommy doesn't like Deuce's friends. She says they make him act ghetto."

"Ghetto? How?"

"They come over to the house and listen to music all the time with bad words and they cuss in his room when they play video games. They watch music videos with girls that have big butts and he's always in the bathroom trying to rap and he stopped going to soccer practice. He just wants to skate now."

"Has he done anything bad at all? Like, be disrespectful to Mommy or anything?"

"No. Mommy says he's not acting like himself and they fight about it. She yells at him and he slams his door and stays in his room all the time. Even Grammy fights with him. She said the 'N' word, Daddy."

"What exactly did she say?"

Marina wiped her eyes.

"Deuce was rapping in the kitchen when we were with Grammy and Grandpa for Thanksgiving and Grammy said she didn't want him walking around the house acting like some street…"

Marina whispered the word nigger in his ear.

Erik closed his eyes.

"She said that exactly?"

"Well, she said thug at first like Grampa does, but Deuce got in her face and said 'Say what you really wanna say…a nigger.' Then Grammy said, 'Yeah, a no-good street nigger' really loud."

"What did Deuce do after that?"

"He yelled at her to shut her mouth and called her a racist. They argued and then he ran to his room all mad. He didn't eat dinner or nothing. Mommy drank her wine and sat in the kitchen crying. He was so mad, Daddy. He had tears in his eyes and everything."

"What else?"

"Mommy just says he keeps changing and she doesn't like it. Deuce gets real angry when she says that. He doesn't really hate Mommy, does he Daddy?"

"I'm not happy that he isn't happy there. Do you see why he wants to stay with me? Can you understand why he wants to go away?"

"Mommy doesn't mean to act like that. She's just sad."

"Deuce is sad too."

"I just want everyone to feel better."

"I know, baby girl. Deuce will feel better being with me more. How do you feel about being with Mommy?"

"Okay."

"Just okay?"

Marina's eyes welled up more.

"I wish she could take a vacation to San Felipe like us. She would be happy again. If Papi and Miss Belinda taught her how to fish and if she could ride the ATVs…"

She cried into his chest. He could feel the small hot tears soaking his shirt.

"Do you want to stay with me too?"

"Yes!" she wailed.

Erik rubbed her back.

There was a knock at the door.

"Give us a minute," Erik said.

"You two okay?"

It was Yvette.

"Yeah, we're just having a Daddy and Muffin chat," he called out.

"I have Marina's other bagel for her. Deuce is trying to eat it."

"Come in," he said.

Yvette walked in and saw Marina on his lap weeping. She closed the door behind her and placed the toasted and buttered breakfast on the table. The small white plate it sat on had thick tomato slices on it with a side of cranberry cream cheese.

"A little heart to heart?" Yvette asked.

"Yeah," Erik said clearing the lump in his throat, "we'll be down in a bit. Working out some things."

"Take your time. Sugar is showing Deuce how to play her guitar, and I'm going to go back to bed since I hadn't planned on being up until noon. Feel better, Marina. Okay?"

Marina nodded her head against his chest with a hand covering her face.

Yvette slipped out and Erik rocked Marina in his arms.

"I don't want Mommy to be all by herself," Marina whimpered as her tears slowed down.

"Sometimes it's good to be by yourself. It helps you think clearly. Mommy has a lot of friends too, remember?"

"Yeah. But her feelings will be hurt if we leave her."

"In order for her to get better, Mommy has to deal with her own feelings. I want you and Deuce to feel safe and happy and not have to worry about anything else. It's not good to be in a home where people scream at each other and call each other names. That's why me and Mommy can no longer be married. I wanted you and your brother to live without all of that bad stuff. Things are better now—"

"Because of Sugar."

"What makes you say that?"

"Sugar makes everyone happy. Even you, Daddy."

Erik took the plunge.

"She's going to be around here a lot more—"

"Because you're her coach."

"That and…I like her, baby girl."

"I know."

He stared at Marina.

"You know?"

Marina nodded.

"I don't just like her for a friend."

Marina's eyes blinked a couple of times.

"I want to be with Sugar. I want her to be around us all the time."

Marina still looked confused.

"Do you want to marry her or something?"

"I would just like to have her as my girlfriend. How do you feel about that? You said you liked her. Would you still like her if I had her as my girlfriend?"

"Yeah. But…"

"But what?"

"Can Mommy have a boyfriend too?"

"Yeah. Mommy can have a boyfriend if she wants one."

"Does Sugar want you for a boyfriend?"

"I think so."

"But you're old."

"I'm not old."

"Older than her."

"She doesn't mind."

"Will she live with you?"

"Sugar kinda lives everywhere right now. She's going to travel a lot—"

"Like you?"

"Yeah, like me…"

It sank in right then. They would both travel a lot during the year. Their schedules would be a bit chaotic for dating on the regular.

"Finish eating the rest of your breakfast," he said.

Marina sat on his lap and ate her bagel with cream cheese and tomatoes. When she finished, they just sat together on his chair and watched the ocean outside his office window.

###

Erik watched Marina run up to Deuce and whisper in his ear. The look on his son's face was shock, but he masked it real fast as he handed Sugar her guitar.

"I need to talk to you," Erik said.

He kept his voice steady, trying not to alarm Sugar.

Deuce followed Erik back up the stairs to his bedroom. They walked out to the balcony and sat across from each other on the lounge chairs.

"Your grandmother called you a nigger?"

"She said the word, yeah."

"She does this a lot?"

Erik felt his jaw clench.

"They say thug when they see stuff—"

"Stuff like what? Black people?"

"She's old Dad, she doesn't know any better—"

"Yeah, she does. Does your Mom say it?"

"Nah. Grammy said it because I called her out on it. I know what they mean when they say thug. It means nigger to white people. They only say it when Bertram and Sergio come over. I do the same stuff I do with my white friends from Country Day and they don't say anything when it's them. Mom too. But as soon as I'm chilling with the guys over here it's a problem."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Deuce looked out toward the water.

"Cuz I didn't want you to think Mom was racist. She's not, she's just…she's biased because of what she sees and hears on TV and when she gets around Grammy and Grandpa it just comes out more because they don't want you around us anymore."

"You never have to hide anything from me. No matter how bad it is. Hear me?"

"Yeah. I just didn't want you to come at Mom. I know how you are about stuff like that, especially with Grammy and Grandpa. I don't like them anymore. Ever since you and Mom broke up, it's like their true colors came out. Mom just ignores them, but sometimes I wonder if she feels the same way sometimes. Especially since I said I want to go to Mission Bay."

Deuce faced Erik again.

"Are you mad, Dad?"

"I'm disappointed that your Mom didn't check her parents—"

"You're mad. I hear it in your voice."

"No more keeping stuff like this from me, okay?"

"Okay."

"Your Mom is going to do better."

"Alright."

"Go chill," Erik said.

Deuce left him and Erik sat on the balcony and tried to calm his mind.

"Hey."

Erik turned and saw Sugar standing inside his bedroom on the balcony threshold. He walked over to her. His hands went for her waist and he pulled her in close. He kissed her lips and gave a big smooch to her cheek.

"Are Deuce and Marina okay?"

"Yeah. I told Marina about us."

"How did she take it?"

"Good as far as I can see. There's some other stuff going on at home for them, and I needed to get some one-on-one time for clarification."

Sugar seemed relieved. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her face next to his.

"I like this," he whispered in her ear.

"Me too."

Sugar grabbed his hand and pulled him back downstairs. They joined his kids in the family room where they all sprawled out on the giant sectional and watched a wild movie about a giant snow monster on the SyFy channel. When the movie ended, Deuce and Marina were ready to watch a new one involving a giant anaconda fighting a giant alligator. Yvette was up then and Erik checked his cell.

"You want to run to the workshop with me?"

"Workshop?" Sugar asked.

"Where I work on my boards."

Sugar's eyes lit up.

"Sure!" she said.

"Deuce? Marina? Wanna come with us?"

Both of his children waved bye to him.

"I can take a hint," Erik said.

They ignored him, their eyes stuck to the big screen.

"We'll be back later," Erik said to Yvette.

"Take your time. These two are locked into this channel. It's a marathon of creature features," Yvette said.

Erik grabbed his keys again and Sugar followed him.

###

Sabine's eyes tried to take in the hundred or so boards lined up against the walls and hung up on racks.

Erik made her wear goggles and a respirator mask as he gave her a tour of the workshop he used to make his one of a kind hand-crafted Killmonger Stingray boards. A popular surf shop near the La Jolla shores housed his workspace for him free in exchange for exclusive rights to sell his creations in their shop.

Sabine was impressed with how well he finessed things he needed on some other company's dime. The moment he stepped into the shop the store owner was fawning all over him.

"We sold out over the break, man," a leathery-faced man with bright muddy eyes said shaking Erik's hand.

"Spider, this is Sugar," Erik said.

The fifty-ish white man had a strong grip on her hand as he pumped it up and down vigorously with a huge smile on his face.

"I watched you up in Huntington," Spider said.

"Yeah?" she said.

"We expect great things from you, young lady! See?"

Spider pointed to a picture of the old newspaper article with a picture of her and Erik on it at Black's Beach. It felt so long ago to look at the photo of the two of them. Her parents had it hanging up at the restaurant too.

"We're going to head to the back," Erik said.

"Don't stress that shoulder out," Spider said.

Erik waved a hand over his head as he led Sabine to his private sanctum.

The workspace was wide open and large enough to have two other board shapers working already. With a high ceiling and good ventilation along with bright fluorescent lights illuminating any flaws in the board-work, it was a great spot to create surfboards. One section was clearly marked off for Erik and he gave her the gear she needed to breathe properly and keep her eyes protected.

The two men, one Asian and the other white gave Erik head nods as they used electric planers to smooth down boards. They left the space when they saw Erik was about to get busy.

Erik pulled off a tan cover from the board he was working on. A dense white foam blank was underneath resting on a workhorse table. Erik pointed to their masks.

"We can take these off for now. The guys are gone."

"They always leave when you come in?"

"I called ahead of time and told them I wanted some alone time in here. They have other stuff to do, so it's all good."

"You don't want them to know your secrets?"

He smiled and those dimples made her tummy flutter.

"I make them a ton of money. They want me happy and here all the time," he said.

Sabine placed her respirator mask on a counter and watched Erik lift a light plywood template from a shelf. She touched the foam blank.

"ESP foam," Erik said.

Sabine nodded as Erik placed the template over the blank.

"Put your hands here," he said pointing to the template.

Sabine laid her palms flat on it at the top and Erik grabbed a thick pencil and traced the board template onto the blank from nose to tail. When he finished she moved her hands.

"I just wanted you to feel like you did something," he teased.

She smacked his side playfully.

"Hold this," he said.

She held the template for him as he turned the blank over to trace the other side.

"You do it," he said taking the template from her.

"No, I don't want to fuck up your work that you have to sell."

"This is just another prototype."

"I don't know-"

He kissed her and those soft lips of his made her brave.

"Line it up on the stringer line…"

She did what she was told and he handed her the pencil. She traced around the template nervously.

"Perfect," he said rewarding her with another kiss. The butterflies in her belly moved up to her chest. Those gentle lip pressings were doing something to her thoughts. Her eyes stayed glued to his thick fingers as he put on his mask. She did the same and he took out a jigsaw and cut away the excess foam he didn't need around the board.

Erik secured clamps around the blank board and switched out the jigsaw for an electric planer. He was delicate with the board as he used the planer on both sides of the board. When he reached the softer white foam under the harder surface, he switched out to using finger planers for precision.

Sabine watched with deep respect the work Erik put into making his own boards. She was caught in the trance of his hands and fingers as he shaped the image in his mind onto the material he fondled. She found it incredibly sexy. It was time-consuming, but she loved sitting on the metal stool near him and watching the muscles in his arms flex, loved watching him bent over the board smoothing his hand across the surface like he was caressing a woman's body. Her body.

When he moved into shaping the curve of the rails, he stopped to look at her.

"Is it boring yet?"

"No."

He glanced at the clock above the wall near them.

"I'll work on these rails a little more and then we can head back to the house. I'll pick up dinner on the way back. Thai okay?"

"Yeah. Take your time."

He took off his mask and sat it on the board. He walked over to her and lifted hers off.

"What?" she asked.

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"I like having you here watching me."

"I'm learning a lot."

"Good. I'ma have you design your own board."

"Really?"

"Yeah. A surfer should try to make at least one board in their lifetime. Nothing like riding on something you made yourself."

He stared into her eyes and she became soft inside all over again. His lips joined hers once more but this time, his tongue sought out the inside of her mouth and the sudden rush of intensity startled her as she threw her arms around his neck. He had her panting and her panties sticking to her folds by the time he pulled back from her.

"Stay with me again tonight."

"It's a school night."

He shrugged.

"You can sleep in while I get the kids off to school. Yvette has errands to run and she has to check on the house in La Jolla since Calista is gone. We can be alone and I can give you your New Year's gift."

"New Year's gift?"

"Yeah…me."

Sabine threw her head back and laughed and Erik's lips found her neck and sucked on it. Her legs kicked out as she felt her toes curl in her shoes.

"Erik, don't start nothing you can't finish in here—"

"I can give you some dick right now if you want it—"

"Erik!" she laughed.

Sabine pushed him back and he held onto her waist.

"You'll stay with me?"

"One more night, but I have stuff to do. Laundry. Meet up with Stacy and get back to work…training…"

Her voice trailed off as his mouth found her neck again planting little promises of more pleasure later.

"I can't wait to taste you again," he sighed in her ear.

Sabine felt her lips pucker up as he nibbled on her earlobe.

"I want you to sit on my face…cum all in my mouth…" he whispered.

"Fuck…Erik…"

Sabine rested a palm on the back of his neck as his fingers squeezed her breasts through her shirt.

"Best believe I'ma be all in your pussy tonight…"

"Erik…"

His fingers pinched her nipples through her bra. He stopped and looked down at her face. Erik dazzled her with his big toothy smile and she stroked his neck.

"I can't believe I actually have you," he said.

He ran his right thumb across her cheek right under her eye.

"I'm still tripping," he said.

"Me too."

"I know it's soon, but you can stay with us anytime you want, Sugar. You like to bounce around and we're both going to be coming and going a lot. But you can have a base."

Erik reached into his front pants pocket and pulled out a key.

"The alarm code is Marina's birthday. My bed is your bed now."

"Damn…"

She stared at the key.

"Take it," he insisted.

Palming the key, Sabine held it for a moment before stuffing it in her own pocket.

"Thank you."

"Stay whenever you want. Yvette would love the company. The kids will be in and out for school and other activities. You know I want you with me as much as we can be together."

She kissed him and gave him another hug before she hopped down from the stool.

"Let's get out of here and get some food," he said.

Sabine helped him put things away and before he hung up the unfinished board, she ran her hands across the smoothness.

"You have so much talent," she said.

He winked at her and walked into the workshop restroom to wash his hands. He wiped down his clothes a bit and he held out his hand to her. She rested her hand inside of his and let him lead her to the rest of their day.

###

It was a routine of sorts.

Sabine slept with Erik nearly every night for their first month together in his bed.

Their bed now.

Deuce and Marina adjusted to her regular presence no different than they had been with her in Baja California. Erik's doctor and his sponsors made him take January and February off to heal completely. They didn't want to chance him competing and messing up the rest of the year. The Pro Tour didn't officially start until April, but Erik wanted to compete in a few qualifying series events just to get up to speed. He decided to make March his official start of the year. It made Erik happy, and he spent his time being a total house Dad and attentive boyfriend. Yvette stayed in Calista's house a lot allowing the third floor of the house to be their private love nest and Erik took advantage of that with her. At one point, Sabine had to ban Erik from her pussy just to give it a rest. Her young athletic body could not handle the loving he was bringing down on her and she tapped out too many times until she had to put him on timeout. For her vagina's sake.

The newness of everything thrilled her, and his touches and kisses…all that thickness between his legs had her gasping and crying out so much that it scared her. She never had loving that strong before. Physically or mentally. Erik doted on her and the children and she felt spoiled rotten by it.

She could use any of his cars, even the new all-electric silver Porsche Taycan he bought to reward himself for following the doctor's orders. Several times she and Stacy would pick up Asia and Yolanda and go turbocharging up and down San Diego to go clubbing in that car. Erik went extra deep inside of her on those nights she came home, reminding her to keep her hot to trot ass in check. She was always a little extra vocal during those heated sessions bouncing on his dick.

Erik also coached the hell out of her.

With the kids out of the house, he drove her to the good waves wherever they were in San Diego and made her do practice heats. Bruce was summoned to the house to train her in Erik's home gym. There was still no word on his or Colin's relationship, and she didn't ask about it although she did see Colin a few times at Surfgeist when she worked on her underwater training and kickboxing again. Colin was friendly with her and seemed happy to see her using his facility again, but she kept their interactions brief. In the middle of January, she flew out for the Florida Pro qualifying series and made an impressive second-place showing. She didn't get down on herself too much losing to a Florida native because her body and mind were on Erik and the kids. The moment she returned to San Diego, Erik was on her ass as her strict coach and by the end of February when she flew to Australia to compete, she made damn sure to come home with a first-place win in time for her birthday.

Deuce and Marina baked her a strawberry cake with vanilla cream cheese frosting and she was impressed that they cooked chicken Marsala with fancy mushrooms for her at the house inviting her parents and friends. Sabine found herself watching her parents closely as Erik gave them a tour of the house, but she settled into the idea that they had accepted him as her man. She spent more time with Erik at the beginning instead of their home, and by her birthday she was completely moved in with him and his children whenever she was in town. She traveled three times a month out of the country to compete and do promotional work for Maverick and her body finally embraced the taxing schedule it took. All the work was to get her invited to the big show.

Eating her cake and enjoying her family and friends admiring her first-place trophy, Sabine mentally packed for Tahiti next. Belmira called her to wish her a happy day and it was a delight to be back on good terms with her Bad Cat homie. She missed her and promised to fly out to watch her compete in her first Pro Tour appearance in April.

"Hey, you look like you are in deep thought," Belinda said nudging Sabine's arm.

The party had moved to the patio and the ping pong doubles tournament that was happening between Cedro and Robert against Deuce and Yvette. Thus far, Deuce and Yvette were whipping Papi and her brother to an inch of their lives.

Sabine watched them from the dining room window that faced out onto the patio.

"Just a little tired," Sabine said.

"You and Erik look happy. The kids too."

"We are. Sometimes it feels like I'm only here for a few minutes before I'm off again."

"Everyone's getting along?"

"Yeah. It felt fast…staying here so much. I know you and Papi probably talked about it—"

"No, we didn't. I think Baja let us see that this was going to be a reality. As long as you and the children are doing well, then Erik must be doing what needs to be done. We don't have to worry so much anymore. We know him better. He's a good man, Baby."

"Thank you."

Belinda's eyes glanced at Deuce as he smacked the ping pong past Robert. Marina ran after the ball to fetch it for them so the game could continue.

"Mommy?" Sabine said.

Belinda's eyes held concern.

"She's coming back soon."

Sabine sighed and sat back in the dining chair.

"Next week."

"Does she know?"

"He told her. I'm not ready to face her."

"You can't hide from the mother of his children."

"I know. I did nothing wrong and yet…the circumstances are just…"

Sabine stared at her hands.

"She thinks this is just a short fling."

"Is it?" Belinda asked.

"No. It's real. We make it so real, Mommy."

"What are you worried about the most?"

"I worry that she'll act a fool. Or use the kids to guilt Erik. He doesn't want her to have joint custody anymore. He transferred Deuce to Mission Bay yesterday. He's looking around here for a school to place Marina in."

"Why doesn't he want her to share custody?"

"He feels that she is unfit."

"Is she?"

"I don't know her. I've only seen her at her worst or most flakey. I can't make a judgment like that. Deuce and Marina want to be with their Dad."

"That should tell you something."

"It does. But she could be better and I think he should give her a chance to prove herself. At least wait a few months. But I'm just his girlfriend. I don't have a say in that."

"He listens to you, right?"

"He does."

"Tell him that."

"It's not my place—"

"You share a home and help care for the children. It is your place to give an opinion. He can do with it what he wants, but you do have a voice."

Her mother regarded her with more warmth.

"He's taking good care of you," Belinda said.

Sabine smiled.

"He is. I think we've sorted out how to separate the coach and boyfriend stuff now. The balance is so on point. He's helping me make my own surfboard."

"Yeah?"

Sabine nodded and twiddled her fingers.

"What's wrong?" Belinda asked.

Sabine touched her face and felt out of sorts for a moment.

"Sugar?"

Belinda reached out and touched her hand.

"Have you ever had things go so good that you get scared that something bad will happen to ruin it? Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Part of it is Calista, part of it is me living this dream life now. I want to pinch myself all the time—"

"Stop. Baby…enjoy this. You worked hard. You showed up. Accept your blessings."

"I do. I do. I just…"

Marina's laughter as Erik lifted her upside down and shook her caught Sabine's attention. Deuce ran into the house.

"You're up," he said.

"Let's go whoop their butts," Belinda said.

Sabine stood up and followed her mother out. They did not beat Deuce and Yvette, but they came close and she felt better moving around everyone.

"Happy Birthday, Ma," Erik said giving her a kiss on her cheek.

"I opened all my gifts already, but you told me I had another one coming?" she said.

"That's a special one. And you'll have it tomorrow. It's not something everyone can see. Just you and me."

"I thought you gave me that already this morning," she teased.

"Nah. This one…hmmm…this one is…we have to leave out of town for this one. A private theater experience."

"Ooh, a destination gift?!"

"Shhh…just be ready to go tomorrow by four."

"The kids?"

"Yvette will see to them. Overnight."

"Now I'm intrigued."

"You should be."

Sabine spent the rest of her birthday night wondering what Erik had planned. When the children were put to bed and Yvette had turned in, she pestered him about it.

"What should I wear?"

"Something sexy."

"I don't have time to buy anything."

"You have all kinds of clothes. Just wear that silky gray low-cut top I like with the black skirt."

Lying on their bed together, Sabine fretted about outfits and shoes.

"You won't give me one hint?" she begged.

Erik brushed his lips against her shoulder and she shivered from the contact.

"Please?" she whined.

"I have spoiled you too much. Haven't I?"

She pouted and batted her lashes at him. Erik reached under his pillow and pulled out a long pink satin jewelry box.

"This is your hint," he said.

Sabine opened the box.

"Ooh," she said.

Erik knew how to spend money.

The long delicate white-gold chain sparkled in her fingers. The end of the chain was twisted into an exquisite rope bundle.

Her eyes flicked back up to Erik's.

He took the necklace from her and placed it over her head and rested it between her breasts on her lavender camisole.

"Can you guess now?" he asked.

"A Shibari show?"

"A private one. Members only."

Sabine touched the necklace again.

"Thank you," she said.

She kissed his forehead.

Erik showed her his rope collection in his walk-in closet, but he never tied her up or spoke anymore about his love for rope binding. Sometimes, when he wasn't home, she would go into the closet and open up his dragon cabinet and stare at the pictures of his past lovers and study the intricate rope bondage. She tried to imagine him tying her up and she would get jealous of the women on the cabinet, her fingers itching to rip them out and throw them away.

Erik turned off the lights and he spooned around her. Sabine ran her fingers along his hands cradled on her stomach and heard his breathing deepen into a relaxed state as he fell asleep holding her.

She could barely fall asleep because of the anticipation.

###

They caught a flight to L.A. and a car service picked them up.

A sumptuous second birthday meal of Prime Ribeye and seafood was shared at The Penthouse on top of the Huntley Hotel in Santa Monica. Drinking champagne and fingering her gold bondage necklace, Sabine was wide-eyes and ready for anything with Erik.

After their dinner, Sabine expected to be driven to Hollywood or Beverly Hills or some swanky spot in Brentwood, but instead, they were driven down the 10 Freeway East and exited off of South Western Avenue into a working-class area that was a little rough around the edges. They made a left onto Adams Avenue. She kept quiet as the car drove them further east until they made a left onto a sketchy street filled with old Victorian homes converted into apartments. She felt a little better when the car stopped in front of a restored and well cared for three-story brown and green Victorian hidden behind a high gated yard and full bushes and tall imported trees.

Stepping out of the car, the house looked dark and silent. She instinctively reached for Erik's hand and squeezed it. He squeezed hers back and walked to the high wooden gate. He pressed a buzzer and the gate unlocked.

"You look great," he whispered to her before they entered the private home.

Inside, the décor was classic neo-Victorian chic with dark mahogany wood paneling and refurbished hardwood floors. Warm earth tone accents in the furniture and artwork made the house inviting.

Guests mingled throughout the first floor and there was a rich spread of designer finger foods mingled among the typical imported cheeses and meats Sabine had grown accustomed to. Pricey wines were available and Sabine helped herself to full-bodied red. She had the impression that people there knew one another well and Erik spoke to quite a few of them, introducing her by her birth name. She felt thrilled whenever he said, "This is my Lady, Sabine." She was thrilled to see that most of the guests were Black.

They walked into a part of the house that faced the opening of closed double doors that led to a large backyard. There were chairs spread around in a half-circle. A few people were already sitting facing an open circle.

A handsome Black man with a chiseled jaw and deep-set dark eyes walked into the circle. He cleared his throat and spoke loudly.

"May everyone please take your seats. The performance will begin shortly. Feel free to bring libations with you."

Erik snagged two good seats near the front. She could feel the crackling of anticipation in the air and she was amazed to see how many people were there as they crowded into the performance area. Those who were too slow to get seats had to stand around, and Sabine could feel the energy in the room pressing toward the circle. The lights dimmed until there were only two track lights illuminating the Black male announcer. He pulled out a thick black blanket and placed it on the floor.

"May I present to you all, Master Minahil and Jamila."

Stepping away from the circle, he stood behind an onlooker and the room became deathly quiet. For some reason, Sabine expected to hear music or something showy to accompany the introduction of the show, but two Black women stepped from the shadows. One was a deep brown-skinned beauty dressed in a soft gray form-fitting linen two-piece outfit and the other was a nude, light bronze-skinned lovely, busty, and full of curves that made Erik suck in a breath that she heard from his lips. The dressed woman tapped the naked one and the voluptuous honey dropped to her knees.

The announcer returned with two bundles of natural rope and handed them to Minahil. She took the ropes and unfurled one bundle. Her hands were reverent with the inch-thick length of binding material. Before anything was placed on the naked woman Jamila, Minahil bent down and kissed the woman on the lips and touched her face with a loving caress. Jamila's thighs spread and Sabine saw her waxed pussy lips part. Erik shifted in his chair. Sabine touched the necklace he gave her and she glanced at his face in the shadows. She could make out the parting of his lush lips and the deeper breaths he took.

Sabine turned to look at the women again and Erik threw his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him craving the reassurance of his body next to hers. Her blouse opened up enough where he could see her breasts and his eyes danced across them before he turned his attention back to Minahil placing rope across the soft supple flesh of Jamila's breasts. The rope work was methodical, hypnotic, and several times Minahil stopped to check in with Jamila whose eyes glazed over. Minahil worked on the upper body first still using the single bundle of rope. Sabine leaned deeper into Erik and her voice hitched in her throat when she saw Jamila's folds glisten with arousal. Sabine's right hand dropped into Erik's lap and she felt the hard protrusion there straining against his slacks. He shifted again and his left hand clutched at Sabine's nipple deep inside her top. She could hear other people around them give soft breathy pants and sighs of longing. The air was tinged with an erotic need for release and Minahil took her time getting them there visually with her binding of Jamila's arms. Threading. Draping. Tugging. Pulling. Loving strokes. Murmurs in the ear. Soft kisses. Whimpering.

Sabine watched Minahil practice her craft for a spellbound audience.

Thirty minutes into the artistry, Sabine blinked several times.

Minahil.

Sabine knew this woman.

Erik gave a groan under his breath and Sabine closed her eyes.

Master Minahil was the woman inside Erik's dragon cabinet. The Black woman tied up nude with red rope.

Her man's old lover.


	39. Venus as a Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar and Erik level up their relationship as he opens up his private world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update! Double updates for MBJ being named Sexiest Man Alive in 2020 for People Magazine.

"His fingers  
They focus on her  
Touches  
He's Venus as a boy

He believes in a beauty  
He's Venus as a boy

He's exploring  
The taste of her  
Arousal  
So accurate…"

Bjork—"Venus as a Boy"

The moment Sabine recognized Minahil, she sat up from Erik's body and sat forward in her seat.

She looked much older than the picture in the dragon cabinet. Early forties perhaps, with the body and energy of a much younger person. Unblemished and unlined skin made her seem ageless, but there was something mature in her eyes that gave away any claims of eternal youth.

Sabine watched the woman's handiwork. The meticulous care she took in manipulating the rope into intricate diamond weave knots and braiding made it seem like her hands and fingers were simply extensions of the rope itself.

Erik ran his left hand up Sabine's back, the warmth from his fingers seeping through the thin silk of her top making her skin ache for more full skin on skin contact. Her necklace dangled on her thighs and the temperature in the room rose reminding her of Erik's home sauna. Blood thrummed in her ears as her breath quickened watching Jamila lay on her back while still on her knees with her thighs open and crisscrossed with taut fibers that bit into her flesh. Her privates were on full shameless display as Minahil lifted the last of the rope around her waist harness hoisting Jamila's midsection up as the announcer brought over a step-ladder. Minahil used the ladder to climb up closer to a large metal hook that she knotted the rope to forcing Jamila's back to arch slightly higher.

A final knot was tied and tucked before Minahil stepped down from the ladder and removed it from Jamila's form.

Forty minutes from start to finish.

Minahil knelt down and stroked Jamila's face and whispered to her. The woman nodded her head with her eyes focused on the ceiling. The Master fingered the rope along Jamila's thighs before standing up and facing the audience. She bowed her head slightly and the appreciative onlookers clapped.

Sabine brought her fingers to her lips as she stared at the woman on the floor. Sitting back in her seat she could not get over the look of pure bliss on Jamila's face. Minahil had a slight sheen of perspiration on her forehead and her aura seemed to relax once the work had been completed. Her eyes took in the crowd and when she saw Erik, a bright smile peeled back her generous lips.

Erik clapped and Sabine watched his face as he did so. She saw pleasure sparkling in his eyes before he turned to look at her. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear.

"Did you enjoy it?"

She nodded.

"There are more libations and food available. Please help yourself. We ask that you respectfully give Jamila her space. She will be unbound within the next twenty minutes. Enjoy."

The announcer held out his hands and people were released from their seats. Many stood nearby and admired the living art. Sabine felt conflicted. She wanted to gaze at the woman's body too, but she felt flustered as she saw such flagrant arousal on Erik's face. She wanted his attention on her, but she was also aroused by Jamila, and aroused by the fact that Erik was turned on by the woman. The shock of recognizing Minahil hadn't left her either.

Wine. She needed more wine and space away from the scene.

Sabine walked away from Erik and headed back toward the libations. She fixed herself a plate of crackers and salted meats and gulped down a full glass of Pinot noir. There were servers walking throughout the house carrying trays of wine and hors d'oeuvres dressed in all black clothing with colored shibari rope ties on their chests, arms, and waists. Onlookers snacked and admired the various designs knotted on the hired staff. In every direction Sabine looked, there was something enticing to see or decadent to eavesdrop on.

"Sugar?"

Erik was by her side touching her elbow.

"Minahil. That's the woman on your cabinet door," she blurted out.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me that you were bringing me to a show with your ex?"

"Ex? She's not my ex."

"She's a woman you slept with."

"She's a Master at this. I learned from her. She was my teacher—"

"Erik! I'm so happy you came!"

Minahil hugged Erik with the announcer right by her side.

"This must be Sabine. Hello!"

Minahil reached out and embraced Sabine warmly even with a plate of food and wine in her hand. Sabine set them on the food table.

"This is my husband Gary."

The announcer, Gary, shook Sabine's hand. He patted Erik on the back.

Erik slipped his arm around Sabine's waist.

"This is Mina and Gary's home," Erik said.

"It's beautiful, everything is beautiful," Sabine said.

She felt ambushed and so caught off guard that her words came out rushed.

"Thank you. Did you enjoy the show?"

"I did."

"Erik told me you are new to the life. Oh…happy birthday!" Minahil said.

"Thank you. You taught Erik?"

Sabine's eyes glanced at Erik before falling back on Minahil.

"Yes. Lord, it seems like forever ago. An apt pupil. Gary and I miss having him around like the old days. Ooh, I love that…"

Minahil reached out and touched Sabine's necklace.

"Honey, I would love something like this. Our twentieth anniversary is coming up!"

"Y'all keep it going," Erik said.

"Gary is my rock. This looks lovely on your skin, Sabine," Minahil said.

"Thank you. A gift from Erik."

Minahil reached out and skimmed her fingers across Erik's left cheek.

"You've always had taste, love."

"I learned from the best," Erik said pulling Sabine in tighter.

Sabine wasn't sure what to feel. Minahil was so friendly and so…regular. Any traces of envy she may have felt earlier evaporated.

"How are the babies? Getting big and bossy?" she asked.

Erik pulled out his cell and showed a few pictures of Deuce and Marina.

"Oh, look at them! Aw! So cute. Still glad Gary and I never had any, but you did well."

Sabine eyed a few servers walking past.

"Did you do all the rope designs on the wait staff?" she asked.

"Yes, I did."

"They are all so unique and so…complex."

Mina stopped some of the servers who swept through and described the knots and designs in depth. Hishi karada. Loop chain dresses. Gote shibari. Single column ties. Double column ties.

"Shibari itself means 'to tie'—"

"Erik told me kinbaku is a new term."

"Relatively new to the language. It means 'to tie securely" but typically that means to tie to the point of no movement from the model. I tend to allow movement in my work. Talk to any shibari practitioner and you will get varying answers. Erik tends to use both interchangeably."

Erik spoke to Gary and watched Sabine get a thorough tutorial. There were nine servers in total and Mina made sure Sabine saw each one.

"We better to tend to Jamila before you mingle a bit more," Gary interrupted.

"She's such a good girl," Minahil purred.

"Mina, it's been thirty minutes" Gary insisted.

"We'll catch up later, hopefully," Minahil quipped.

"Good to see you, Erik," Gary said.

Minahil reached out and touched Sabine's arm.

"Make yourself at home."

Gary whisked her away and Sabine turned toward Erik as she reached for her wine and plate of food.

"Twenty years married? And you were taught by her twelve years ago?"

Sabine gawked. Erik grabbed himself a wine glass and poured himself a merlot before he pulled her away from a large group of people. He sequestered her in a quiet corner where they could see Jamila.

"That woman cheated on her husband with you?"

"No. There was no cheating on her part. They are polyamorous. And I was never alone with her when we had sex."

"Talk," she said.

She stuffed a small cracker in her mouth and sipped more wine. Erik checked their surroundings first then leaned in closer.

"This was before I was married and right when I started fucking heavily with the Black kink community. I saw a show in Oakland and met Gary. He introduced me to his wife. Mina. She did shows all over Oakland and San Francisco. It became my thing and she took me under her wing—"

"Among other things," Sabine snapped with a smirk on her face.

"She started teaching me. When I was in town I would visit them. They moved to L.A. and I kept in contact. We started sleeping together…and Gary would watch."

Sabine coughed and held her throat. She drank more wine.

"He's a cuckold. He likes to watch Mina get fucked by other men. When I was with her, he would watch and jerk off. He always wanted me to cum inside Mina and then he would get on top of her afterward and nut. He got off on having an orgasm with my cum in his wife. He has a compersion fetish. He loves seeing Mina happy with other people sexually."

"On some level, this shocks me, but then it's you so it doesn't really," she said.

Erik curled his lips and his eyes became sultry as he watched her.

"Everyone has something that gets them off," he said.

"Like how Jamila got you off?"

Erik's eyes narrowed.

"Got me off?"

"Your dick was hard with her pussy all out like that."

Erik checked Jamila out across the room. Sabine wondered how much her body ached being in that position tied like that.

"My dick wasn't hard for her."

"The rope then?"

"Yeah. I was imagining what it would be like to tie you up like that and I got excited about it."

Erik's index finger ran up her arm.

"I wonder what it will feel like to place a knot there, or maybe…there. I wonder how you would look dangling down from the ceiling. Or how you would look tied with server's hands? Or a flower weave across your breasts? How many positions could I put you in? What would you sound like when I pull real tight across your soft skin…"

His fingers dipped down into her top. He fondled her breast and her nipple hardened.

"My dick was hard for you."

Sabine lost her breath then. Erik's fingers traced down her arm and rested on her hip.

"I wanted you to see this so you would know what it was like. The beauty of it. The connection it creates in the person who ties and also in the one who is tied. It's primal…more than intimate. A true test of trust. Being vulnerable with one another. Really and truly naked. The first time I saw it I sort of tripped out. I was twenty and ropes on Black people seemed like poor taste. Slavery and shit, but Mina taught me to get over that and to look at the real history behind the art form. They took me to Japan and I saw serious Masters work their craft and I got sucked into the world."

Minahil returned to Jamila's side with Gary and she slowly untied the woman.

"This part is very important," Erik said.

"Yeah?"

"It's like when I spank you. You get in that headspace and the aftercare has got to be there for the come down."

"Your aftercare is always amazing," she said.

Sabine put down her empty wine glass and snack plate on an antique mahogany trestle table. Wrapping her arms around Erik's waist, her eyes took in Minahil cradling Jamila as Gary brought her a robe to cover herself.

"Some people can't handle it, Sugar. I want to do this with you, but we'll move slow."

"Okay. I want you to do it. I've been waiting for a long time."

"I know," he said.

"Would you want to do this with other people if I don't like it?" she asked.

She wanted to please him, but if it turned out to be a dud for her, Erik wasn't the type to stay home with unused rope.

Minahil helped Jamila to her feet and walked the woman out of the room and away from the guests with Gary's assistance.

"I could go see shows. Relive shit in my head. Assist Mina. You're mine now so if you ain't with it, you ain't with it."

"Can we try when we get back home?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"We'll try simple binding first. Just the arms. We can see what your comfort level is."

"How long did you sleep with her?"

"Mina was a very short chapter in my life. After a couple of months, she lost interest in me."

"She dumped you?"

"New flavors came her way. I was traveling more and started seeing Calista so I didn't feel bad about it. Our relationship became platonic."

"Did it weird you out that Gary wanted your cum on his dick?"

"It was different, but it was the emotion behind it that he was attracted to. The energy created with me and Mina seemed to rest in my semen swimming in her. He could only cum after I did and after Mina nutted on my dick. Our fluids…I dunno…maybe he thought it was the magic elixir that he needed to bust a good one. I used to think cuckolds were punk bitches who couldn't please their partners. I thought they needed to see their women get dicked down by a real man. Gary ain't nothing like that. His brain is wired to worship Mina. When she cums with other men it makes Gary feel powerful. It's almost like how I like people watching you surf. I get off on them getting excited about you. It's a similar type of vibe."

"Would you let another man cum in my pussy while you watched?"

"Fuck no!"

Sabine slammed her hand over his mouth. Erik's voice was so loud. It made her laugh. His face switched up so fast like he was about to fight someone.

"Don't be saying shit like that," he growled.

The surliness in his voice turned her on.

"I was just asking a simple question!"

"I ain't like it."

"Fix your lips," she cooed.

She swiped her thumb across his lips.

"You get mad about stuff so quick," she teased.

The palm of his right hand smacked her left butt cheek. The shocking sting of it made her eyes water.

"I don't play when it comes to what's mine. You should know that by now," he hissed pushing up against her.

Erik rubbed her ass making soothing circles that caused her to sigh in his ear.

"I'm the only one cumming inside you," he said.

Erik squeezed her backside.

"That's what you want to do," she challenged.

His eyes narrowed again.

"What?"

"You want to cum inside of me. You haven't done that yet. I know you want to."

Erik's eyes darted around. No one was paying them any mind. He jammed her up against the trestle table. Sabine took advantage of the situation.

"You've nutted in my mouth, on my face…all over my body. But you have never cum inside of me raw. You think you own my pussy, but you don't."

His lips twisted up again and his eyes grew dark and menacing.

"You're lucky we're out in public," he hissed.

"And?"

Erik tilted his head and glared at her.

The game was afoot. Sabine loved pushing Erik's buttons when she knew he couldn't do much about it. When she questioned his dominance in sexual matters, it always set him off. She wanted to bust his chops for a bit. She needed to ignite a fuse in him so he would take it out on her when they got home. She only had a few days left with him before she'd have to fly out of the country again. Their household had been crowded with the kids, Yvette, Ryan, Stacy, Bruce, his personal chef, housekeeper, personal masseuse, and a ton of meetings he had been having with his lawyers for work. On any given day the tri-level could rotate up to six other people outside of the children and Yvette. Alone time was precious and rare. She craved that Daddy dick he slang with so little effort.

"Keep being cute," he tossed at her.

"I will," she said stepping away from him and heading back for more wine and snacks.

He followed her.

They mingled and spoke to other guests and Minahil did another show with two bikini-clad women, one white, and another Black and the ropework was even more stunning as she bound the women together until they looked like two weblike trees connecting at the waist. She used two ladders with the assistance of Gary, neon-colored ropes this time, and there was some audience participation with pulling rope from one side of the room to the other. The second show didn't require a seated audience, so guests were allowed to talk and move throughout the house as Mina worked. There was music from a live jazz trio outside in the lit-up yard that echoed throughout the property. The time took longer with Mina's second show and Sabine found herself becoming restless while watching. She wanted to leave. Erik was charming and attracted a lot of attention from men and women as they interacted with others. Sabine wanted more birthday time alone with him.

The lights around the models were dimmed low once Mina finished two hours later and everyone gasped at the glow from the red, green, and orange ropes. Sabine clapped and moved closer to observe the finished masterpiece. The spider-like webbing of the ropes spread across the room and ceiling with the two human bodies entangled inside told a sensual and compelling visual story. Sabine found herself going over the small details in the knots and loops, and intricate braiding while at the same time stepping back to look at the whole piece. The models looked like they gave birth to the ropes through their skin and Sabine felt a welling of deep emotion filling up her chest. It was beyond stunning. Mina looked a little tired from the labor and took a moment to sit on a white and gold baroque throne chair near her work.

Gary brought her a glass of water and spent time by her side kissing her fingers and rubbing her back. Mina's eyes admired her own creation and the pride was so vivid on her face. She turned her head slightly and caught Sabine staring at her. Mina gave her a vulpine smile. This was her seduction. Like a predatory spider dazzling the eye with devilish weaving that pleased the prey, this was how Mina lured her men. How could Erik resist her with that look upon her face after binding sensuous warm supple flesh?

Sabine turned to admire the hanging women ensnared by a clever temptress. She could feel Erik behind her, his soft breath on her neck, and his wide chest pressed against her back.

"Can you tie like this?" she asked him.

"I only do one person at a time."

"But could you do two? And something massive like this?"

"Yeah. It would take me some time, more than Mina, but I've done similar."

"Could I be your model if you ever do another private show?"

The bound women turned their heads slightly to look at Erik.

"Maybe."

"I want you to turn me into a tree, like this—"

"Nah. I would make you into an ocean wave."

"Yeah?"

He nodded and touched her stomach with his right hand. His left hand fondled the green part of the rope in front of them.

"I'd use purple and blue ropes. A bit of white…some green…"

His fingers slid along the smooth binding rope and came close to touching the ankle of the white model. The colored rope was less fibrous than the natural rope Mina had used earlier for Jamila. It felt like it had a wax coating on it.

Jamila walked into the space dressed in a sparkly amber-colored dress that clung to her breasts and hips that jiggled as she moved. The moment her eyes saw Erik, she rushed over and hugged him, her lips kissing both sides of his cheeks.

"I miss you! How come you don't come up for gatherings anymore?" Jamila said.

"Busy. Jamila, this is my lady, Sabine. Sabine, Jamila."

"Hi," Sabine said.

"Hi. You're new here."

"Yeah."

Jamilia's eyes did a top to bottom inspection of Sabine before her eyes went back to Erik.

"Tak needs some people in April—"

"I'm booked and busy with the tour, Ma."

"What about you, Sabine?" Jamila asked.

"What about me?"

"A Grand Master is coming to San Francisco mid-April and he'll need models—"

"She's not doing that."

Erik grabbed Sabine's hand and held it tight.

"Tak is your favorite. He'd love to see you. It's been years. I showed him the pictures when you worked me in November—"

"Last November?" Sabine asked.

She stared at Erik. He tugged on his shirt collar and wouldn't look Sabine in the face.

"Crazy ass party. I almost didn't go, but Erik insisted. Have you done any more work since then? I heard about your arm. Are you better now?"

Jamila talked a mile a minute and Sabine watched Erik deflect out of boredom. He was tuning out the woman and Sabine found it amusing. Applause interrupted them and Erik pulled Sabine back to where Mina was as she spoke to a few guests who showered her with praise. Jamila followed them and Sabine noticed the red marks on her light skin from the ropes digging into her under the brighter lights in a side room. The rope marks made a pretty design.

"Does that hurt?" Sabine asked.

Jamila smiled and touched her skin.

"No. It can burn sometimes, but I love it. Just as much as Erik does."

Jamila clapped her hands for Mina and then she scuttled away to another couple giving hugs and kisses.

"Did you sleep with her?"

"No. I don't sleep with everyone, Sugar."

"You were with her when I was in France?"

"For a private party. That's it."

"She was naked for you."

"She was naked. For the event. Not all shows have nude rope models though."

The party was still going all out, but Sabine was done.

"I want to go."

Erik's face looked concerned. She linked her arm in his.

"I want to be alone with you, that's all. This was awesome, but I want you to myself."

He grinned and the relief was so heavy on his face. She watched him move away to go retrieve their coats. Mina returned to her.

"Thank you for everything. I enjoyed myself," Sabine said.

"I hate to see you leave so soon."

"We have to fly back early in the morning."

"I hope you had a lovely birthday."

"I did. Erik really did it up."

"He's special."

Sabine wanted to ask so many questions. Mina was warm and open and she could see how a young Killmonger could be allured by the woman. She didn't ooze overt sexuality, but the subtle undertones of big ole freak were there.

Mina stepped closer to her.

"He has gifted hands. He'll be gentle with you."

Mina's eyes caught sight of Erik bringing back their coats.

"Take care of each other. He's a sweet man—"

"Why did you stop seeing him?"

Mina stroked her left arm. She wasn't shocked by the question at all.

"He wasn't meant for me. He needs a woman he can take care of. I have my Gary for that. Hopefully, you are the one for him. He deserves some happiness. Take care."

Mina sauntered over to another fawning group and Erik helped Sabine put her coat on.

"I like her," Sabine said.

"She taught me a lot."

"Let's go see."

Erik's eyes shined.

###

They didn't stay in L.A. as they had planned. Retrieving their bags from the hotel they were going to stay at near the airport, they took the first red-eye back to San Diego. Picking up Erik's Porsche from the Lindbergh Field Airport Parking Lot, they drove the short distance to Mission Beach and took a hot shower together in Erik's bathroom. The heat and soothing pulse setting on the shower water made them both sleepy.

Too tired to fool around, but thankful for an empty house, they jumped into bed together naked and cuddled for a long time before drifting off to sleep. Morning came and there was no rush to get Deuce or Marina since they were spending time in their other home. Erik texted Yvette asking for a late afternoon pick up. She took the hint.

They slept longer together spooned tight until noon.

Sabine felt Erik's lips across the back of her right shoulder blade. She opened her eyes to the bright white light of the sun and the four-foot waves breaking out on the beach. Wet kisses continued down her back along her sensitive spine until he turned her to face him.

"You were out," he said.

His fingers sought refuge inside the coiled twists that she forgot to put her bonnet over late into the night.

"Hungry?"

"Starving."

They dressed and took a long leisurely walk along the boardwalk to a local eatery and had waffles with turkey sausages. They talked about shibari and all that they saw the night before and Sabine reveled in having his full attention.

"You should surf later today and let Bruce come over to work on your legs."

"He wants me to gain more weight."

"You should. More muscle mass. I want you to come to Hawaii with me before I compete in April. Gotta get you on some bigger waves more often."

"Maybe during the kid's Spring Break?"

"That would be best."

"I have to film the Delta commercial all day Wednesday in Studio City. Can I take the Acura?"

"Yeah. Deuce's open house is on Wednesday and not Friday like I thought. We'll probably go out to dinner after that."

They hung out at the café a little longer and then took another long walk back to the house. Stacy hit her up and Sabine spent an hour out on the patio going over her schedule for the rest of the week while Erik spent time in his office on his computer.

"Sugar."

Erik called to her from his office balcony. She shielded her eyes to look up t him.

"Can you do me a favor? My lawyer is coming over with some stuff for me. Yvette is ready to go to the movies with her friends and doesn't want to have to drive back down here and then go back up to Del Mar. Could you pick up Deuce and Marina for me?"

"Sure."

She walked into the house and met Erik in his office to grab his keys. He pulled her onto his lap.

"We wasted private time piddling instead of working out the bed," he said kissing the back of her neck.

"We have tomorrow while the kids are at school."

"Bet. It's a date. I'll switch some things over to Tuesday and we can get a little freaky."

She grabbed his Porsche keys and blew him a kiss.

Sunglasses on, cute Tijuana-bought chanclas on her feet, she turned on the GPS in the car and followed it to the La Jolla house. She had only been there once before to drop Yvette off to housesit for a weekend.

Yvette answered the door when she rang the doorbell to the two-story rich suburban enclave.

"Hey, girl! Thank you for taking them. Me and my girls are trying to have a meal before the movie starts, and I was afraid of getting caught in that three o'clock turn-around traffic."

"No problem. Where are they?"

"In their rooms. Go on up. I'm going to finish my hair and then I will be out."

Sabine followed Yvette up some thickly carpeted stairs. The house had a very sterile look to it. Erik's house was well-kept but it looked lived in and open to chaotic energy. The La Jolla crib felt like a museum. All the décor and furniture was dark wood and dark carpets. It didn't feel like children lived there.

"Hey Deuce," Sabine said.

He stepped out of his room carrying a backpack and a small suitcase.

"'sup," he said.

Marina ran out of her room when she heard Sabine's voice. She threw her arms around Sabine's waist.

"Hey, baby shark. You surf today?"

"Yes! The waves were sucky though. We didn't stay out long, Auntie has her date—"

"It's not a date, I'm meeting friends for dinner and a movie," Yvette called out from a bathroom down the hall.

Deuce leaned in so Yvette couldn't hear.

"Her friends are setting her up on a blind date," he said.

Sabine handed him the car keys.

"Go put your stuff in," she said.

Deuce took the keys and his things down the stairs. Sabine ran her fingers over Marina's hair.

"Time to take these braids out and wash all this," she said.

Marina had become addicted to cornrows and twists in her hair. Every two weeks she was driven to Sabine's parent's house to get her hair done. The girl owned more bonnets and silk scarves than Sabine did now.

Marina ran her fingers over her scalp.

"Miss Belinda said this could last three weeks."

"But you've been in the water a lot."

Marina wrinkled her nose.

"You have anything to bring to the car?" Sabine asked.

"No…"

Marina's voice died in her throat and her eyes grew wide as she looked down the stairs. Sabine followed her gaze and saw Deuce holding the front door open with his bags.

Calista stood in front of him.

"Mommy!"

Marina shrieked and ran down the stairs, almost falling at the bottom as she ran to her mother and jumped in her arms. Dread filled Sabine's throat as the woman's eyes regarded her. Inside her home.

Yvette ran out of the bathroom. Her eyes grew wide when she saw Calista.

"Shit," Yvette uttered under her breath.

Sabine followed Yvette down the stairs as the children hugged their Mom.

"Calista?" Yvette said.

"I know I'm a week early. I didn't know anyone would be here. I finished my program and thought I could slip back here and give myself some prep time."

"It's all good. We're glad you're back."

Yvette gave Calista an awkward hug. Marina would not let go of her hand. Deuce stood next to her but he wasn't touching her. Her hair was longer, curlier, and dark blonde. She looked heavier in the face. Healthy. A soft peach blouse and straight-legged jeans made her tanned skin glow.

"Calista."

"Sugar."

"I was about to take the kids back to Mission Beach—"

"I have a girl's night with some friends in Del Mar," Yvette said.

Yvette waved her cell.

"Go ahead and go on your outing. I'll keep Deuce and Marina here with me. We can catch up," Calista said.

"Um…Erik expects them back…"

Yvette's eyes darted to Sabine as she spoke.

"Deuce, come help me with my stuff," Calista said.

He followed her out to the car while she walked with an arm around Marina's shoulder.

"This cannot be happening," Yvette said.

She swiped her phone.

Sabine didn't know what to do or say.

"Erik…Calista is here…I was about to leave and she just showed up. Sugar is here too. The kids are helping her get her stuff. She wants them to stay here with her…"

Yvette walked away from the front door.

Calista walked back in with the children rolling a large suitcase. Deuce rolled in an equally large bag. Marina carried a small duffle bag.

"You can go, Sugar. I'm home now."

There was no malice in Calista's voice.

"Yvette is talking to Erik right now. I'm going to wait and see what he wants…"

"I said you can go. This is a family matter. Deuce and Marina…my children…they're fine being with me."

"Erik is on his way," Yvette said.

Deuce's face looked grim. Marina was oblivious and focused on Calista.

"Do me a favor you two, go on upstairs. I need to talk to Aunt Yvette," Calista said.

Marina left right away, practically skipping up the stairs. Deuce meandered a bit, checking them out every few steps. When they were gone from sight, Calista faced them both.

"There was no need to call Erik. I would've done that."

"All I know Calista is that he has custody and I can't just leave them without his say."

"I'm their mother for fucks sake! I gave him full custody while I was away. I'm home now."

"I know, but we weren't expecting you until the end of next week—"

"I'm the Mom and you all were ready to hand my kids over to his girlfriend? His girlfriend, Yvette? Jesus!"

Sabine could tell Yvette was trying to keep her cool.

"I'm not trying to upset you. I'm just trying to follow Erik's wishes."

"I'll wait outside," Sabine said.

"Shit," Yvette muttered under her breath as she checked the time on her phone.

Sabine walked out of the house and took a deep breath. She leaned against Erik's car and checked her own cell phone. Erik left a message for her.

"I'll be there soon."

Yvette walked outside.

"Go to your dinner," Sabine said.

"I'm not leaving you here alone. And I can't leave with Erik coming over here. Why couldn't she have just showed up after we left? I am so uncomfortable."

"Let's just both leave and let them handle their business."

"I want to. But I never know what will transpire when they are together."

"She's been doing well. That's what Erik said."

"Doing well in another state isn't the same as being back in the real world here. They are oil and water…he's here…"

Erik's Acura whipped behind his parked Porsche.

Yvette scurried over to him.

His face looked calm. He glanced over at Sabine and she walked up to him.

"Go to your thing," he said.

Yvette had her car keys clutched against her chest.

"She looks good, Erik. The kids were happy to see her…"

"You're acting like I'm about to start some shit—"

"I know how you act—"

"Go on," he said.

Yvette hesitated for a few seconds then walked to her red compact Honda Accord and drove away.

"I'm going to talk to her. Go on back to the house. I'll call you on my way back."

Calista stepped outside. A terrible knowing laugh erupted from her mouth as she put her hands on her hips watching them.

"I wish everyone would stop acting like I'm an ogre trampling on the village. I'm just a few days earlier than expected. No big deal."

"Go home," Erik said.

Sabine walked around to the driver's side of the Porsche. Her eyes went up to the second floor Bay window and she saw Deuce looking down at them. Hopping into the car she watched Erik follow Calista into the house.

###

Being inside the tri-level all alone felt unnatural.

The quiet unnerved her. She was accustomed to voices, the constant sounds of laughter, yelling, the loud pounding of feet on the floor, music, the TV on…so much life. Without Erik, Deuce, Marina, or Yvette there it felt lifeless.

Sabine surfed tiny waves for an hour and took a bath in the whirlpool tub. Checking her cell phone there were no messages from Erik. He had been gone for two hours. She debated about texting him but didn't want to interrupt anything.

Walking around the third floor and still not hearing from him, she went into his walk-in closet and opened up his dragon cabinet. Her eyes took in Minahil's photo and she admired how Erik tied her up with more knowledgeable eyes. She ran her hands across the different rope bundles and picked up a thick red one. She carried it over to the bed and leaned over the pillows to slide open the secret bookshelf embedded in the headboard.

Erik was a heavy reader, and he had bookcases all over the house for himself and his children. But this particular bookshelf had grown-up things. Books of erotic poetry. Books on erotic photography. Art books. Books all about shibari and BDSM.

She pulled out a heavy book with color photos and step-by-step instructions on how to tie the rope she had in her hand. The dresser mirror and the mirror in the bathroom wasn't good enough for her. And the full-length mirror in the walk-in closet didn't give her enough room. She took the book and the bundle of rope to the home gym. There was space, great lighting, a wall-length mirror, and a comfortable gym/yoga mat that she could use.

Sabine sat on the mat and studied a few pictures in the book. She found a basic tie she thought she could do alone. Unraveling the rope, she looped one end of the rope around her waist and tried to weave a basic rope dress. She couldn't get the knotting right and grew frustrated. She flipped through a few more pages and found a simpler design. Putting the rope around her neck, she was able to fix a simple knot, but the rest of the binding was so long and heavy. She felt warm in the gym and decided to pull off her underwear and play with the rope naked.

"It's a just a simple knot…that's what the book says…but my lame ass can't even get it right…" she grumbled.

She wrapped more rope around her midsection then stood up to look at her handwork in the mirror. It was sloppy and looked nothing like the color photo. She felt frisky and slipped the rope between her legs just to feel the sensation like Jamila did in L.A.

"Ooh," she gasped as it tickled her clit.

She kept everything trim and partially waxed down there and the rope rubbing up against her clit piercing tickled, just like it did across her nipples.

"You need an expert to do that right for you."

Her eyes caught his reflection in the mirror and she felt even more naked.

Erik walked in. His bottom lip was housed between his top teeth and his eyes had that sensual cognac brown look it got when he was in the mood. Sabine let go of the rope in her hands and it fell to the mat, the weight heavy on her neck and torso.

Erik was barefoot with thin tan lounge pants and a t-shirt.

"Did everything go okay? Are the kids here?"

"I let them stay with her. She'll take them to school tomorrow. I'll pick them up in La Jolla tomorrow night."

He stood behind her and his eyes watched her face in the mirror.

"How was it?" she asked.

"It was fine. She had planned to stay at the house alone and see the kids next week, but…y'know. Shit happens. Deuce and Marina are happy to have her back and looking well. We agreed to have the kids with me the rest of the week and she will get to keep them for a couple of weeks after."

"She wasn't happy to see me there. Asked me to leave."

"She told me. Honestly, it was the first real civil conversation I've had with her in a minute. I told her to worry about herself and that you were a part of our lives now. She doesn't have to like it, but she needs to get used to it."

"I felt bad being there when she saw me. She looked at me like I was some invader. I felt like I stole her life, Erik."

"She's creating a new life, and you are not responsible for how things are. I don't want you carrying her around with you. Please…for me and the kids…try and be yourself at all times around her. Okay?"

"Okay."

Erik touched the rope around her throat. He unfastened it and pulled it away from her.

"Sit down. On your knees."

Sabine dropped down softly and Erik knelt behind her. He touched her shoulders.

"Will you give me permission to tie you?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"If you feel uncomfortable at any time, tell me. If it's too tight the rope can cut off circulation, pinch nerves, and cause damage. Even if you think you can handle it, you must let me know of discomfort. I can adjust and fix that. Stop me at any time, even if it's not physical pain."

"Okay."

"I will just do the top of you and we can see how you feel."

She nodded.

"Do you need water? Need to use the restroom?"

"No. I'm fine."

He stood up and walked to his gym sound-system and put on some soft music. Eclectic sounds gave the room a pleasant ambiance. He knelt behind her once more. Rubbing his hands together he touched her chest and then her stomach. He touched her back and then her hips.

"Are my hands warm enough?"

"Yeah."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek and then trailed his lips to her neck where he kissed her with the fullness of his whole mouth. He did the same to her on the other side of her cheek and neck. When his lips touched the back of her neck, Sabine shivered and he saw her body react. The corners of his eyes crinkled up with a smile of their own. He closed up the shibari book and put it aside. He scrutinized her body and lifted the rope in his hands. He ran his fingers over the blood-red fibers and pulled it through his hands all the way to the end.

"Your body is perfection…"

Erik brought strands of the rope over her neck and created a simple overhang knot.

"The rope just enhances the perfection that is already there…"

He left two inches of a loop in the first knot and she began to feel a little dizzy from the close contact with him. Her nerves had been frayed worrying about him being in La Jolla, and now he was back with her and the tension and stress of wondering about his reunion with Calista ran through her mind. They didn't fight or argue. The children were back with their Mom after nearly three months. She and Erik were together.

Relax.

Erik moved in front of her and created a second knot just under her collarbone. His thick fingers brushed against her right breast and a tiny hiss escaped her lips.

"You still good?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He centered the rope and his eyes danced over her body. He seemed to be making decisions on what to make on her. He made another knot on her sternum and after pulling the long rope ends through the loop, he pulled off his t-shirt.

Making knots down her torso he stopped when he got to her mound. By that time, the tension in her body had spread. The heat from his body being so close to her made her lips part. The smell of his cologne so fresh and enticing had her woozy.

"I'm about to make something called the happy knot," he said.

His dimples popped out and her eyes dropped down to watch his fingers make a knot that he placed right on top of her clit.

"Oohhhh!"

Sabine felt her pussy clench.

"Told you," he whispered in her ear. He nibbled her earlobe and she bit her lip to keep from exhaling loud and being so obvious with her arousal.

Too late.

"Damn, baby…" he sighed.

His fingers delved between her legs and touched her opening. Her slick made his digits glossy and he brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them.

"You always taste so good, Sugar…"

He moved behind her and cradled her chin, pulling her face to the side so he could kiss her, his full lips covering hers completely stealing her breath.

"Erik…shit!"

He pulled the rope between her legs and it separated her folds forcing uncontrolled pants to spill from her throat. He twisted it from side to side, putting pressure on the happy knot that sat on her clit, and spreading the natural lubricant that was dripping from her core.

"Can you handle it still?"

She nodded.

"Speak to me, Sugar."

"Yeah."

"Good girl."

He pulled the two long strands of rope up along her back and slipped it through the loop of the knot on the back of her neck. He separated the ropes and pulled them around the front of her chest again.

Helping her stand up to let her legs stretch, he used expert hands to weave the strands back and forth around her torso using the knots along her front as anchors to create diamond patterns all around her. He checked in with her often asking about tightness and any discomfort.

She felt beautiful. Sensual. Desired by his hands.

The tugging on her clit and wet pussy lips had her on the verge of cumming and when he made the final threading between her legs and connected the final knot on her lower back, she could see his dick tenting his pants like a torpedo ready to let loose. He admired the rope between her ass cheeks and finished tucking the excess rope along her back, and when he moved back in front of her, she saw that his pupils were blown wide. Her eyes dropped down to his dick.

"That's all you with your sexy ass," he said.

He slapped her ass and pulled on the rope from the back, making it tease her clit.

"Look at yourself," he said.

He stepped aside so she could see the back. She twisted and turned to admire herself and only succeeded in arousing herself more as the rope resting on her mound created friction.

"You know what I like about this weave design?" he asked.

His voice was raspy and made her ears tingle.

"What?"

He placed his two index fingers between her legs and plied the rope resting on her folds open so that they rested on either side of her outer pussy lips.

"Easy access. You are so wet."

He kissed her softly then pressed his hands on her shoulders forcing her down on her knees again. He reached into his pants and pulled out his erection. The mushroom tip was already shiny with pre-cum and she wrapped her lips around it without him asking.

"Sucking it so good…open that throat up…"

Sabine sucked and slurped and worked his dick like a lollypop with a tootsie roll center

"Hold up, baby."

He pulled his pants off and got down on his knees in front of her kissing all down her neck and feeling on her nipples. She threw her arms around his shoulders but he pushed her down on the mat. She lifted her legs and spread her thighs and Erik licked his big tongue up and down her folds. She was gushy and saw how glossy she made his lips.

"You said this pussy really wasn't mine."

His face became wolfish and she shook her head feeling perplexed.

"What?"

He slapped her clit and she almost jumped out of the gym window.

"Don't act dumb. You told me since I haven't fucked you raw, this pussy really wasn't mine."

"I was drunk."

"Not really. You meant that shit."

His eyes flashed with a hint of annoyance. She tried pushing his head back down to her vulva, but he slapped her hands away and tugged on the knot right on her clit.

"Is this my pussy?"

"Yes!"

Her voice was whiny and it embarrassed her.

"Can I fuck you—"

"Yes, nigga, fuck me—"

"…without a condom?"

She hated his face being so close to her pussy. All she could see were those big ass lips and she wanted him to take care of her the way that only he could. She was drunk with lust and beyond aroused at that point.

The music seduced her with haunting vibes, and he smelled so fucking good, and he was so fucking fine to her. He was her dream man and she lived with him. Loved him. Trusted him.

"If you don't want me to it's alright, baby…I just had to ask. I've been wanting too for a while and I'll pull out—"

She pressed her fingers over his lips.

"Bring me that dick."

The glint in his eyes matched her own and he crawled behind her lifting up her right leg. He bent her body so that she faced the mirror and she gazed at the rope binding her upper torso and privates. Lifting her leg higher and resting his mouth near her ear, Sabine felt the weight of his dick part her folds and sink into her depths.

"Fuck…Sugar…"

Pumping his dick in and out, she watched his face contort in ecstasy as he took what he wanted. She clawed the mat to try and brace her body with the fast pace he was setting, but Erik had something to prove.

"Get it, Daddy," she yelped.

He grabbed two of the knots on her stomach and pulled them, making the happy knot bounce on her clit. Erik's eyebrows were furrowed, his face looking almost angry, but she recognized it for what it was. He was in the love zone. He made her pussy talk, the squelching letting her know she was even more slippery inside. The interconnections of the weave design made her feel tugging all over her body, and in his excitement, he lifted her leg higher and shifted his hips so that he had her locked down on the mat.

"This my pussy?!"

"Yessss!"

The pressure of his erection inside of her was breaking her down. She was going to release hard all over his length. She leaned forward and that tiny shift caused him to go deeper and he was in her spot and she nearly lost her damn mind. He was hitting it so good.

"Yeah…yeah…yeah…baby…s'deep…"

"I gotta pull out!" he roared.

"Wait…wait…I'm about to cum, let me cum…"

"Sugar…fuck! Baby…lemme pull—"

His eyes were on her pussy lips stretched all around his dick with the happy knot wrecking her clit.

"Erik…I'm cumming…I'm cumming…fuckkk Daddy I'm cumming! Ooh! Cum in my pussy, Daddy. I want you to nut in me…"

"Sugar…"

"…nut in me…fill my pussy up…please…"

Sabine watched Erik arch his back and thrust all the way inside her. His dick swelled and he shouted so loud in her ear.

"…spurt that shit all in there, Daddy…"

"Oh shittttt!"

Her fingers squeezed his balls gently and all the huffing and puffing he did before he fell back onto the mat set her off.

"Damn, look at that!" he yelled.

They both watched her pussy spasm on his thickness and her moans made him smile so hard until his gums were showing.

"Pussy mine now, ain't it?"

He pulled out of her.

"Fuck girl…I put a lot up in there…ooh shit…"

He watched her center throb and jump as she pushed his cum out so he could see the milky whiteness ooze over her folds.

"So nasty, girl."

He jumped up and pulled her with him, lifting her off of her feet. He took long strides carrying her in his arms to their bedroom.

Laying Sabine across the bed, he stroked her face.

"Are you okay with this still being on?"

"Yeah. It's comfortable."

"Good."

He fingered the knots all over the front, tugging and pulling to make sure she wasn't too constricted.

"She was right," she said.

"Who was right?"

"Minahil. She said you had gentle hands, and you do. She taught you well."

"What else did she say?"

He had a smirk on his mouth and a coy look in his eyes.

"You deserve happiness."

"She said that?"

"Yeah. Do I make you happy, Erik?"

He didn't answer her. Just completely ignored her words.

But he showed her.

All night.


	40. Partner in Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the return of his ex-wife and prepping for the start of the Pro Surf Tour, Erik’s life grows more complicated with Sugar and his best friend. Colin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This book is winding down. Book 2 is on deck!  
> Be sure to check out my new Killomger AU, "Concrete Cowboys". Erik Stevens is a Black cowboy in contemporary Texas!

"Took your sweet dreams, made that reality  
Baby, we the dream team, seeing us shine  
All the others want a piece of the pie  
White wine on the bike rides, I'll keep you enticеd  
Soul food, no guidelines, just follow the light  
Truе love, the right kind, we made it alright…"

Nayana Iz – "Partner in Crime"

Sabine rubbed her arms.

The rope marks were deep and made parts of her brown skin red in the grooves of her flesh.

Their lovemaking had gone next level.

Lying on their bed as Erik finished untying her legs, she watched his face as he worked. Serious. His eyes were meticulous searching for any missed bruising or breaks in the skin. When she was completely free the best part came. He would sit behind her and cradle her in his arms, stroking her arms gently and whispering sweet soothing words of comfort with his aftercare.

Soft kisses to her forehead. Chaste caresses around her breasts and nipple piercings. Massages to her neck and shoulders. Soft pats to her clit piercing and folds. Just like the first time he tied her in the home gym and untied her in the bedroom so many weeks ago, her mental state came down from a high just like her physical state and the tears would come. Hot fresh tears of release. From the binding. From the sex. From the intense orgasms. Sabine took to shibari like a fish to water and it became a serious addition to their intimate couplings. Not all the time, but at least twice a week in some capacity. Sometimes there was no sex. Sometimes he would tie her up and suspend her from the bedroom ceiling and leave her alone to go into the headspace she needed to feel…free. He read a book on the bed quietly or sometimes sat out on the balcony to give her privacy, but close enough to check on her. If she wasn't suspended, he would sometimes, per her request, bind her in a simple and comfortable weave and leave her completely alone for an hour.

They talked often about what it was like for her to experience it. Surfing was such an existential adrenaline rush that she needed, but being tied up brought her back to her own body after pushing it to the limits on the water. For Erik, tying was a way to satisfy his need for more extreme ways to enjoy the human body outside of himself. Having sex with her while she was tied gave him pleasure because in his mind, even though she was the one being tied up, she was also the one in control of him. He wanted to give up control in some type of way and he found the perfect way to quench his desires by making Sabine the one who dictated when he could cum when he fucked her while she was bound.

The session they just ended was so intense because she had edged him with her pussy. Arms suspended above her head from their bed with her torso and legs bound tight, he fucked her from behind with his face pressed against hers, his lips near her ear as he continually asked her, "Can I cum?"

She wouldn't answer him and his lust intensified while he pumped into her tight wet heat. He would only receive pants and low moans from her.

"Can I cum? Baby, can I cum in your pussy?"

His pleas went unanswered and he would moan in her ear louder.

"Can I cum?"

"Hmmmm."

That's all she would allow him. Soft grunts from her lips, clenches from her walls all snug around his length, the creamy sounds of her wetness making him weak…desperate…brutal. His long strokes were death strokes, and the more time she spent denying him release, the harder he beat up her sopping slit. It would be easy for him to dominate as he usually did and just cum when he wanted which he did when they had sex without the bondage rope. But on those occasions when they made love using rope play, and she allowed him to cum inside of her, the rule usually was that she controlled when he could cum. He needed her permission. Erik submitted to her.

This was when Sabine could bring brutality back to him. She would have him going insane begging and pleading with that one question over and over, "Can I cum?"

He would cheat sometimes. Slip tricky fingers around her swollen pierced clit and fondle the nub until she broke and hissed out, "Yessss!"

The roar that would come out of his mouth. All hell would break loose in her pussy as his guttural shouts ended with a flood of semen drenching her womb. Erik will growl, yell, curse, and grip her hips as his pulsing erection soon brought about her own delicious release. Just like it did for her moments earlier before he untied and comforted her. There was nothing more powerful and more desirable than hearing her man lose control and scream out her name as she felt his essence spill into her hard and deep.

Sometimes, if she were gone for more than a week competing or doing work for Maverick Innovative Sports when they rejoined and finished aftercare from an exquisite time of shibari play, they would make love again soon after and Erik would revel in the marks on her body that he made while they were in missionary. He sank down to his balls and his groans in her ear would set her pussy to jumping and clenching so bad that she would whimper while his gold chain necklace dangled and touched her face with her toes pointed to the ceiling. And his kisses then? There had to be a God somewhere in heaven to create the blissful connection she felt when Erik kissed her while he plunged into her. His hands gripped her hair tight cradled around her head as he did his awe-inspiring demon time pumps into her core. By that time, she would scramble to clutch onto his back or shoulders or the sheets on the bed to anchor her soul from leaving her body. His body would press so tight…so close…so strong against her torso and his mouth would give her life, their tongues dancing and their hearts beating so fast…

Sabine often wondered why she didn't just die in those moments. What greater love could she find ever again than having Erik rooted within her? Loving her? Only her? Fused body and soul, she often started crying, and when he released her mouth and started moaning when he came…Jesus.

She wore his rope marks with pride and was grateful that her wetsuit covered up the signs when she had to fly out of town. If he did rope ties that involved her head and neck, she would wear choker necklaces to cover their indentations.

Erik was also a tease.

He showed her his two female half-torso mannequins and the full-body one in his closet. She had erroneously mistaken them for tools to hold up his jackets and shirts. They had been covered behind a huge rack of suits and belts. Pulling them into the bedroom, he showed her how he practiced his ties and designs, often weaving things for her to see that he would put on her body when she returned to him. Sabine would be dying of anticipation to get back home and strip naked for him after the children were sent to be with Calista on the weekends…

Sabine rested her head lower onto Erik's chest.

She kept her distance from the mother of his children. A respectful distance.

Calista requested that she be given weekend visitation on a regular schedule as she eased into being back in San Diego. Deuce adjusted to being at Mission Bay High and his mother got over him not going to an expensive private school anymore. Sabine didn't know until she had started living with them that both of Erik's kids had skipped full grades when they were younger. They were both brilliant inquisitive children and Sabine often forgot that Erik was smart as fuck himself.

She loved their evenings together when they were all under the same roof at the same time.

Because of their time in Baja with her family, Erik had incorporated family cooking time where at least three times a week they prepared dinner together as a family instead of eating out or ordering in. It was something that she took for granted as a child. Sabine enjoyed how Erik interacted with Deuce and Marina as they cooked together and shared their day. From what Deuce shared, spending more time with his father allowed him to enjoy his mother more, and the tension that had shrouded their interactions had gotten better. Marina was less anxious. Her school performance improved and she was able to focus more while maintaining high marks on her schoolwork. Support from an educational therapist and special instruction in school helped her overcome much of her processing issues. She surfed every day after school with Sabine and Erik, and when she wanted Daddy/Daughter time to herself, Sabine used that time to hang with Deuce. They had a love of skateboarding up and down the boardwalk to go have waffle cone sundaes sprinkled with caramel popcorn together. There was an ease with him now, and he often sought her out for companionship.

She couldn't believe how their relationship had shifted. Papi and Mommy probably had a lot to do with that. They were close to both children. In a way, she wasn't just his Dad's girlfriend, she was becoming his confidante. He seemed to love skateboarding with her more than anything, and sometimes they didn't even talk, just kick and pushed, and rolled.

Erik's cell rang.

"Gotta take this, baby," he said.

He rolled over away from her and walked out to his balcony.

Sabine used the restroom, took a shower, and then pulled on a simple cotton house dress. Erik's voice sounded serious. Had to be his lawyers again. He was talking to them a lot lately.

She roamed freely down the stairs. The house was theirs for the evening. Kids gone. Yvette staying over with her new boyfriend. She drifted into the kitchen and pulled a pint of chocolate chunk ice cream out of the freezer to indulge in as she watched tv on the kitchen counter screen. The Delta Airlines commercial she filmed came on, and she watched herself pretend to struggle with a surfboard travel bag and luggage. Jet planes zig-zagged across an imaginary globe and it ended with her plopping into a first-class seat and falling asleep against a window. It was in heavy rotation and she noticed it connected with a lot of people. She was recognized and stopped a lot more on the boardwalk when she skateboarded with Deuce.

When she was done stuffing her face with the ice cream she had no business eating so much of, she climbed back up the stairs. She wanted to sleep and enjoy the quiet before the children and Yvette returned. The respite would probably be short-lived though. Erik had a habit of waking her in the night to have sex. She'd feel that wood poking in her backside and his hands would roam up and down her side trying to coax her to open her legs for him. He would hold her limbs up high and rock into her as the sky lightened from their bedroom window. Morning loving at its finest. Soft pants. Soft quiet moans… especially if the children were home downstairs. She pretended that their early lovemaking made the sun rise in the sky. It had to be done. Without question. He would stare at her folds, then look deep into her eyes as he pulled out and stroked under the ridge of his swollen mushroom tip. He'd circle his thumb around the circumference of the head and say her name.

"Sugar…Sugar…baby…"

Her name was an invocation on his lips.

"I love you…Sugar…"

His strokes forced his cum onto her stomach and breasts. She had to bite her own lips to stay silent as he twisted up his own fleshy lips to keep from shouting as he ejaculated and waking up the household. The sex between them was the best then. The dawning of a new sun. A new day. A new way to love. The mornings made her feel like she got love right this time. Cracked the code. Found the secret to everlasting happiness. He truly was the love of her life.

"Well, I need fucking answers, Dax…"

Sabine stopped at the top of the third-floor stairs.

Erik was upset.

She turned to go back down the stairs to give him privacy but he was already headed out of the bedroom wearing the special handmade virgin silk robe she bought for him in Tahiti. Stress wore out his expression and she moved out of his way. He reached out and stroked her waist before continuing down to his office.

He closed the door behind him.

Sabine went to their bedroom and crawled under the covers. She waited for him to return but he never did until she fell asleep.

###

The doorbell rang and Erik answered it.

Colin stood before him looking refreshed in a crisp beige linen shirt and pants set with soft brown leather shoes.

"Hey man, come on in," Erik said.

They gave each other dap, but Erik could feel a slight tension in Colin's shoulders as he stepped into the house. They went into the family room to chill. Colin looked around and his eyes caught sight of new photos on the side table that housed several family photos. Christmas in Baja. Life around Mission Beach. Erik had his arm around Sugar with her arms thrown over Marina's shoulders with Deuce giving his best impression of teen cool with his arms folded and a smirk on his face. He couldn't fool anybody. It was clear as day that his son looked happy. There was another picture of Sugar and Marina surfing together on the same wave, a picture Erik was able to catch with his Go Pro as he paddled out past them. It was a gorgeous shot, Sugar and Marina both wearing braids and beads and serious surf faces. Erik was proud to see his child with perfect form on her board. Marina took well to Sugar's coaching. His daughter was set to compete in a junior division in two weeks and Erik kept out of her way as she found her own confidence in her abilities. Not having Daddy coaching her took the pressure off of her to be perfect.

"Nice pictures," Colin said taking a seat.

"It was a great trip."

"Everyone's good?"

"Great. Still working out some kinks with Calista."

"Sugar?"

Erik could feel just by looking at Colin that his feelings hadn't changed for his woman. Just the way he said her name had a loving lilt behind it. He didn't want it to bother him, but the back of his mind kept telling him…if he fucked up, this man would be there. His boy. His ace.

They had talked a few times on the phone over the passing months. Feeling each other out. He was nervous but felt open to the man.

"It's good to see you, E."

"You too. Want a beer?"

"Yeah, I'll take one. You still fuck with that German shit?"

"Yeah."

"I'll have that."

Erik brought him the beer and they drank making small talk. Colin had been speaking with Sugar's management team about having her promote his new battery-powered wave rider. Colin had found a way to make a smaller lithium battery that extended power for up to two hours, totally leaving his competition behind. He was smart enough to hire two ex-Navy engineers who found a way to make the wave rider lighter too for the consumer. Maverick was looking into designing sports equipment for aquatics, but Colin wanted a way to partner with them and corner the market. Sugar could be his way in if they allowed her to sell the product for him.

Within the hour, Sugar waltzed into the house and her face was surprised to see Colin.

"I thought we were meeting tomorrow," she said.

He stood and she walked up to him giving him a friendly hug.

"I'm here to see my boy."

Sugar nodded and her eyes darted to Erik's.

"Back in stride again," Erik said.

"No doubt," Colin said.

It made Erik feel good to hear him say that. Sugar sure did look pleased.

"Has Denice called you yet?" Sugar asked Colin.

"Yeah, we'll do a Zoom chat next week. I want you to give me your honest opinion of the product tomorrow. If it's not for you, I don't want you to attach your name to it," he said.

"Okay. But you make the best shit, Colin."

"I do."

"You want a beer?" Erik asked.

"No, I'm going to change shoes and then I'm heading out with Asia and Yolanda. I'm taking Stacy out for a treat. She's been on it with my schedule and managing my emails and shit. I want to show my appreciation."

She cozied up to him and stroked his wrists.

"Can I take the Porsche?" she purred.

"Yes. But no more speeding tickets, please."

"Thank you!"

She wandered out of the room and Erik glanced at Colin.

"She has you twisted around her finger," Colin joked.

"Can't help it."

Colin's eyes turned soft.

"You wanna go catch some waves?" he asked Erik.

"Hell yeah!"

Erik walked Colin out to the garage and his friend chose the new board he finished a few days ago. They took to the water and solidified their bond once more slowly but surely. Erik missed him. Missed the jokes. The laughs. The steady ear to listen to him bounce ideas. There was so much Erik wanted to tell him, but it would be too overwhelming. Especially since this was their first time being together since December.

Sitting on their boards as the waves lifted them and gently brought them back down, Erik watched his friend dip his hands in the water to splash onto his arms.

"You got quiet, E."

"A lot on my mind."

"Like?"

"Calista."

"Anything in particular?"

"I'm not sure if I want to split custody fifty/fifty again. The kids are in a good place. Sugar and I still have a bouncy schedule because of the circuit, but I feel like a disruption to this would be bad for Deuce and Marina. Calista is doing okay so far. I just don't want to rock the boat. She's pressuring me to hold up our original arrangement and I'm reluctant man. We're doing so well as a family right now. In two weeks we're supposed to dissolve everything and go back to the old way…I don't want to."

"Then don't. If Deuce and Marina are happy and doing great, then that's all that matters."

"I'm talking to Dax about it. Sugar thinks I should let Calista have them again. There's some friction there about it, but she doesn't know what it was like before. I'm trying to have an open mind. I want to believe Calista is really this new and improved person…"

Erik pressed his knuckles down on his board. The wax coating rubbed against his wet skin.

"I love having them with me. It's selfish, but dude, Deuce and Marina…they just shine now. All the time. Marina competes soon—"

"Yeah, Sugar mentioned that."

"We're all flying to Hawaii for it. Calista too."

Colin stared at his face again.

"What's eating you up?" Colin asked.

"A feeling. Not a good one."

"We can talk anytime you want."

"Thanks. I still see a therapist."

"That's good. A different perspective that is objective."

"Sugar helps by listening too. I try to keep a lot of stuff off of her shoulders. She's racking up so many wins man. I want her focused on that. I think she should slow down and be very selective this year on where she competes. I know the World Surf League will start circling her at the end of this year."

"Time for her to go to the big show."

"It's coming. She'll have enough points and I expect her to rank in the next few months. The pressure is on her too. She's nervous about it. She tries to play it off, but I know she worries about getting on the Pro Tour and not living up to expectations."

"Lemme guess, Natalie Spicer."

"Bingo. Natalie was hyped up for a long ass time last year. Got on the tour and fizzled. Big sponsors invested money, promotions, and Spicer choked. I know she runs that through her head all the time. Maverick is going all out with her. They expect a huge return on their investment."

"That won't happen to Sugar. She's too fucking good. If anything, Tahiti solidified her being the next great one. People are still talking about her performance there. Damn good coaching man. I see you all over her dominance. She keeps performing like she is now…there won't be a Natalie Spicer problem."  
"Her winning streak has been fire. But like I said, she needs to chill a little bit. Not overexert herself."

"You want her here with you more is what you're really saying."

Colin's smile was big. Erik splashed water at him.

"She's given me and the kids a new life. A new extended family. I don't know where we would be without her. That's real talk, man. I don't want to make any moves without her by my side."

Colin's eyes darted behind him and he flattened his body on the board and started paddling. Erik watched him pop up with a smooth glide. His friend rode a nice wave and Erik paddled behind him to try and catch one for himself.

For two hours they surfed and let the water heal old hurts and solidified their brotherhood once more.

###

Sabine watched Colin go over the control components with her.

The Hover Glide Pro was easy to carry at only fifty-five pounds and Sabine lugged it herself into the Bay near the Surfgeist Headquarters. It looked like a small-sized surfboard at the top connected to a hydrofoil fuselage at the bottom. It was streamlined hydrodynamics for the water.

"Right now, we have four models we're working with. This one can get up to thirty miles per hour with a twenty-mile range if you are just interested in speed and distance. The others are made more for wave riding."

He opened up a slot inside the board and showed her the waterproof lithium cell inside.

"Plug it up, and charge it for three hours. Then you're good to go. Quiet motor. Emissions free. Wake free. All the stuff you like with all your marine biology studies. I did my best to make it as environmentally friendly as possible."

"I appreciate that."

She slipped her wrist through the controller's wristband. It was lightweight in her hand and reminded her of the hand-held price scanners used in supermarkets. Colin showed her how to turn it on and work the speed settings and how to connect the controller with the Bluetooth signal receiver embedded on the board.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Colin had a board of his own and they practiced riding the board as if they were bodyboarding so that Sabine could get used to the different speeds and keeping the front of the board up. When she was comfortable with that, she shifted to getting on her knees and then finally finding a suitable speed for her to stand up on the board.

Colin was fifteen feet away from her and watched her yell in excitement as she flew across the top of the water. The propulsion system lifted her and the board above the water and she simply rode it like she would a skateboard or a surfboard. She switched up the speeds and raced with Colin around the enclosed Bay area shifting her legs and hips allowing the board to float her like she was stepping on clouds.

"I love it!" she yelled at him.

Colin's smile was so wide as he watched her.

When the controller blinked and started to reduce the speed on its own, she knew it was powering down. The two hours of tooling around and practicing jumps with the board flew by fast. She was a little surprised to see Erik standing on the dock waiting for them to glide back in. He helped Sabine climb out of the water with her Hover Glide.

"Looks like you had fun," he said.

"I did. What are you doing here?"

"Working out with Bruce. He couldn't come to the house today, so I came here. We just finished."

Colin stared at Sabine. He held his hands out.

"What do you think? Is it something you'd be interested in promoting for us?"

"Heck yeah!"

"Yes!"

Colin made a fist and pulled it toward his chest.

"If I can convince Maverick to get with us it's on and poppin'. Can you let us get some test footage of you riding it?"

"Yeah. Let's do it."

"Cool."

Colin brought out a similar board to the one she had and both men watched her glide near the dock as Colin filmed her with a small digital camera. When she finished and changed clothes, it was time to pick up Deuce and Marina from Calista's.

"Drop me off at the house," she said.

"I want to take us out to eat for dinner. The Korean buffet."

"Then drop me off at the restaurant and I'll wait for you there."

"Sugar—"

"I don't like going there, Erik."

"You're just sitting in the car—"

"But she always has to come outside."

"She doesn't do anything or say anything crazy—"

"Just drop me off—"

"I'm not dropping you off. Both of you are being ridiculous."

"She just stares at me."

"So what."

"Erik, if I don't like it, then support me not liking it and make me feel comfortable."

"It's just dumb to me."

"You like her seeing me in the car with you. It's petty to me."

"That's what you think I'm doing. Throwing you in her face?"

"It's how I feel."

She stared out of the car window as they sat in the Surfgeist parking lot. He turned his body toward her and reached for her arm.

"Look at me, Sugar."

She rested her right hand on her head and he turned her chin with his hand.

"I'm not throwing you in her face. You're my woman. We're a team. You keep placing yourself away from us when it comes to her. It's not right. It makes my kids feel bad. You and Calista will never be friends more than likely, but you're my life now. Deuce and Marina are part of that too. They can feel the tension when you isolate yourself like this. All we're doing is picking them up. They had a great weekend, and now we're going to have dinner. We can go home and watch a movie with them. Put them to bed, and then you and me…"

He nuzzled her face then kissed her neck. Reaching into her V-neck shirt, he fondled her breast, his lips taking over hers and Sabine caved in until he had her nearly panting.

"You're my woman and you go where I go? Hear me?"

She nodded.

Traffic was tricky and Erik ended up taking side streets to try and make up for a late pick up. He had Sabine text Deuce to let them know they would be late. The closer they got to the house the more anxious Sabine felt. Erik would never understand what it felt like to have his ex-wife doing that stare down. Even if no negative words were spoken, the look on that woman's face just made Sabine feel sour in the belly. The look said "Whore." "Homewrecker." "Thief."

There was a rental car in the circular driveway.

Erik texted with his phone and they waited.

Five minutes passed. Erik stepped out of the car and the front door opened. Deuce came walking out with a frown on his face. Calista was behind him followed by Marina and…

"What the hell are they doing here?!"

Erik's voice boomed loud. Sabine jumped out of the car.

Calista's parents Margie and Todd stepped out of the house and Erik walked straight up to them, his finger wagging in the air.

"Calista, I told you I didn't want them around my kids!"

"We're their grandparents. We have a right to see them just as much as anyone!" Margie shouted.

"Get in the car, Marina," Sabine whispered.

Marina stood open-mouthed, her eyes wide watching her father go off.

"Marina…"

Sabine tugged on her arm and walked her to the Porsche and opened the door for her. Deuce was already in the backseat sulking.

"We have lawyers too!" Todd shouted.

Spittle flew from the older man's wrinkled lips and Marge placed a righteous hand on her hip and held her finger in Erik's face. Calista stood near her mother allowing them to defend her actions. Erik turned his attention to her, his voice loud and menacing in its tone.

"They called my son a nigger and you let them be around them like that shit meant nothing!"

"Don't you curse at her!" Todd shrieked.

The old man grabbed Erik's shirt and shoved him back. Erik returned the push and Todd bumped into Margie.

"He's being violent!" Margie shrieked pulling out her cell phone.

"Just call the police," Todd yelled jumping back into Erik's face.

"Erik, let's go!"

Sabine pulled Erik's arm and he shook her off.

"These people are racist, Calista!"

"No, they're not! We need reconciliation. I watch what they say around them—"

"That's not the point! Deuce doesn't want to be around them. Why can't you do something for him that makes him feel better for once? Just once!"

Margie stepped closer to Erik.

"That incident was a misunderstanding. I called him a thug because of his behavior—"

"Being Black is not a behavior. It's what he is—"

"He's not Black!" Todd yelped.

"Fuck you mean he's not Black?"

"He's biracial, and he looks white—"

"Shut the fuck up, old man!"

"Mom, hang up!"

Calista reached for her Mom's cell phone.

"We apologized to him and Marina a long time ago. That was the past and it's over with. I can see my daughter's children… I have a right…."

Margie burst into tears.

"Look what you did to my wife…upset her with your bullying behavior. Just like you did to Calista. You never want Calista to be happy. You're the one who's racist. You hate white people!" Todd bellowed.

"This is some bullshit. Calista, you know better. They cause harm when they say shit. They've talked shit about Marina's hair, Deuce's friends, where he goes to school, how he dresses and speaks…you let it happen. You're just as bad as them. Do you want him to hate you too?"

"My son doesn't hate me…Deuce! Deuce… you don't hate me…"

Calista walked toward the car and tried to open the door. Sabine blocked her.

"Leave him alone," Sabine hissed.

"Bitch, you won't keep me from my son."

Calista shoved Sabine aside.

"Mommy!"

Marina's distressed voice brought Erik to the car. Deuce covered his face with his hands.

"We're leaving. Get in the car, Sugar."

Sabine glanced back at Calista's parents. Margie was still on her cell phone.

"Sugar, get in the goddamn car!"

"Don't yell at me!" she snapped.

She glanced at Calista. Erik's ex had a smug look on her face.

"He's not so perfect after all, huh?" Calista said.

"I want your kids to be with you. But having them here with your parents…and you know how they make Deuce feel. You're wrong for that. I don't give a fuck about how you feel about me right now, but damn. Look at your children."

Calista's eyes flicked to the back seat of the Porsche. Marina's eyes were red and watery and her bottom lip trembled.

"That's on you, Calista—"

"Marina…baby, Mommy's sorry. Deuce…I'll make it up to you next weekend."

"Won't be a next weekend. Not without Yvette being with them."

"Erik…that's not right. You can't do that to me."

"I have full custody. I can. I can have stipulations and ground rules for visitation. Sugar, get in the car."

His voice was softer.

Despite her behavior and ignoring Erik's wishes, Sabine felt for Calista.

"I'll talk to him. But your parents can't be around them."

Sabine climbed into the car and she could feel Erik fuming. She could also feel the children's pain.

"You two alright back there?" Erik asked.

"No!" Marina blurted out before she burst into tears.

"We're going to go eat and relax okay?"

The pleading in Erik's voice tore at Sabine's heart. They drove away in silence.

###

"You still giving me the silent treatment?"

Erik's eyes watched Sabine as she braided her hair in their bedroom bathroom. Leaned against the door jamb fully naked and watching her eyes in the mirror, she could sense his need to make up before they went to sleep.

"I want to sleep and forget today turned to shit," she said.

Slipping a small black rubber band on the last braid, Sabine pulled on her light blue satin bonnet and washed her hands.

"No fault of mine," he said.

"I'm not talking about Calista and her parents—"

"All I said was I think you should stay home. You don't need to go to Indo—"

"My friends and I are meeting up. It's Tadpole's birthday. I'm flying him over to be with me, Belmira, Gato—"

"I know you. You'll compete. You'll run into other surfers and get swept into doing it and showing off. Your body needs a break, Sugar. I need you to do selective competitions."

"I hear you, coach. And I'm telling you I'm just going to party."

"You can't be drinking too much either. People are taking pictures of you now. You think Maverick wants to see drunk group shots on social media?"

"My free time is my free time."

"No, it's not. Morals clause. Remember Alex?"

"Why bring that asshole up?"

"Stay home."

"No."

"Celebrate the birthday, then come right back."

"No."

She stomped out of the bathroom and climbed on her side of the bed that faced the window and sliding glass door.

Erik sat on his side of the bed. She turned her back to him.

"Can you just be my boyfriend right now and not my coach. Please?" she whispered.

"Okay," he said, "I want to spend time with you. I'm jealous that you want to run off to the other side of the world without me. I need my lady next to me at night. I can't sleep without her…"

He rubbed her backside and snuggled his body around hers. She reached her hand back and stroked his scalp.

"Now that's better."

He kissed her neck, then pulled the covers over them both. She turned her body and rested her head against his chest.

"Are you going to let Deuce and Marina visit her next weekend?"

"With Yvette."

"Don't antagonize her, Erik."

"She brought racists around my kids. That ofay stood there and told me my son wasn't Black. That wrinkled heffa called the police on me. For nothing. Her husband put hands on me first. You think I'm letting my babies go over there without supervision?"

"Margie and Todd won't be there-"

"So? She snuck them over behind my back. Tried to be slick. I'm through with her shit. They about to see a real nigga pretty soon."

"What does that mean?"

"It means don't worry about nothing…"

He kissed her again and turned the bedroom light out. The darkness enveloped them and her ear listened to the sound of his heart thumping.

When the new dawn broke, and his erection was pressed against her rump once more, Sabine pushed down his body and engulfed his length in her mouth. Gathering spit in her mouth, she let it make his tip sloppy wet. She dipped the tip of her pinky finger in his slit and teased it with in and out thrusting before she kissed and licked his balls. The muscles in his thighs flexed and his soft groans made her clit thump and her pussy lips grow fat. His hand slid down and took over his dick and she held her tongue out for him as his semen splashed over her lips and part of her face. He rested for twenty minutes before pulling her onto his thighs where he parted her folds with another rigid erection. He lifted her up and down and she let her head fall forward to watch his eyes. Her fingers splayed across his wide chest and an unexpected shout fell from her lips as his girth tugged on her clit and piercing just right and she broke apart all over his thickness.

"Shiitt…! Baby!" he huffed.

He gasped as he spurt into her, pulling her body down close against him as his dick shot more semen into her. She collapsed on his chest fully and their excited breaths echoed throughout the bedroom. She rubbed his pecs until he went to sleep.

Sabine thought of Indo, and her friends, and all the perfect swells that were predicted there. She stroked the center of his chest and knew she would defy him. There was no way she could be in the thick of the best surfers in her peer group and not shred.

No way.

###

Erik tried his best not to appear nervous, but he was.

He watched his baby girl walk to the water's edge with her surfboard and her competitor's number covering her vest. Her hair was braided tight and tucked up in a high bun thanks to Belinda who did her hair before they left San Diego to fly to Hawaii. Deuce sat next to Calista on a blanket and Sugar stood next to him, her hand in a death grip on his left bicep.

"That other girl is so good," Sugar whispered in his ear.

Erik was just pleased that Marina made it to the qualifying rounds, but little Mama kept doing well, and now she was doing a final heat. She was already a champ in his mind for getting that far. He didn't even care if she beat the stronger surfer or not.

His daughter turned her head to look for him. He held up a pinky finger and she held hers up.

"You got this, Muffin…" he said.

Marina and her competition, a fourteen-year-old champ named Wendy, stepped into the water and made their way to the line-up.

"She looks so little out there," Sugar said.

"Baby, your nails," he said pushing on her fingers.

"Sorry…sorry."

The swells were big for that time of year on the big island, and that particular junior competition was brand new although already prestigious.

Wendy dominated right away, and Erik could see that his daughter was intimidated by her. Marina's scores were pretty average during the heat, and Erik took note of how well she was handling her new board despite the low scores she was more capable of raising up.

She wiped out on a bad downturn.

"Oh, baby shark!" Sugar gasped.

"Come on, Muffin!" Calista shouted.

Marina recovered and time was running down.

"She'll take second," Erik said.

"That's so good," Sugar said.

"It is."

"Oh, wow…"

Sugar pointed to an incoming set. Erik's jaw grew tight.

"That's…that's big," Erik said.

Wendy started paddling in toward shore, but Marina had her head turned behind her watching the oncoming force.

"I think…Erik is she…?"

"She's going to take it!"

Erik moved closer to the water. Deuce ran down to be next to him.

Marina paddled her arms fast and the water lifted her high and she dropped down with such an aggressive turn that Erik shouted and hopped up and down.

"Ride that wave, baby girl!"

"Go Marina!" Deuce shrieked.

Marina dropped into a tube and she overextended her arm and her body bent back.

"Shit," Erik muttered waiting for the inevitable fall.

But his daughter twisted her body and whipped it forward and she shot through the wall of water and made it out intact on the other side. The crowd on the beach cheered and Erik ran up and down the beach as Marina made her way back to land. When she stepped onto the soft wet sand, Erik lifted her up.

"That wave was huge, Daddy!"

"I know!"

Erik stepped back from Marina, worried that he would steal her shine. He made his way back to Sugar as they watched Marina follow Wendy to the winner's stand with her board. Calista kept clapping and taking pictures as Deuce took pictures with his cell. Sugar had her cell out taking shots too.

Marina seemed distracted as the announcer presented the first-place trophy to Wendy. When she had her second-place trophy in her hand, she held it above her head for Erik to see. When she ran back to her family, Marina accepted the hugs and kisses from Calista and Sugar. Deuce gave her dap and a half hug, but Marina just stared up in Erik's eyes.

"That last wave tried to get me, but I did the Matrix on it and then I went through the tube and I could only see a little hole at the end, but I kept going and got real low, but then the board tried to come up and then—"

"Marina," he said stopping her in mid-breath.

"Yeah?"

"Baby girl. You came in second place. You beat out a lot of big kids."

She did. Sixteen-year-olds, fifteen-year-olds…she was the youngest competitor.

"But the wave, Daddy. It tried to knock me down but I didn't let it. You said to go out and make the wave my bitch—"

"Okay, you don't have to repeat everything I said—"

"—and I did that. I made the wave do what I wanted."

She didn't even care about winning anything.

She just wanted to conquer the waves. Just like him.

He hugged her then, and when his eyes landed on Sugar, she could see his emotion welling up.

"Oh, Muffin, I'm so proud. You were great out there!" Calista interjected.

Marina let go of Erik and hugged her Mom. Deuce held her surfboard for her and the trophy.

There was a celebration BBQ for all the kids who competed and their families. A couple of reporters got wind that his daughter was a winner and he did a few quick interviews and photo ops with Marina.

The day felt good. Until Sugar had to leave. She had a new Maverick brand commercial to film in New York. He dropped her off at the airport and he had dinner with Calista and the kids. He was not on good terms with Calista and they stayed neutral and sat away from each other during the meal, their focus and conversation only focused on Marina.

They flew home two days later and Erik placed Marina's trophy in the trophy case in his office moving his awards out of the way for his daughter's. He added two new slender cases in the room for Sugar's trophies, but when Marina saw where he placed her new one, she moved it next to Sugar's.

"You don't want to be in my trophy case?"

"I want to help Sugar fill up hers like yours."

He smiled.

"I tell you what…"

He picked up Marina's trophies and moved them to the brand-new empty case.

"This case will be all yours. You fill this one up by yourself. Cool?"

"Cool."

They linked pinky fingers.

Life grew a little hectic with the kids back in school and Erik missing Sugar. He left her messages every few hours letting her know he was thinking of her, feeling like some lovestruck teenager. Colin hung out with him while she was gone, but by the end of the week, Erik was suffering from withdrawals. He had a meeting in L.A. with his film production company. There was a bidding war for a small indie drama they made that did well at the Sundance Film Festival that was finally getting nibbles for distribution.

Driving back from L.A. on the 5 Freeway, allowing his mind to relax with a view of the coast on his right, he was shocked to step into his house and see Sugar sitting on the kitchen island in her red lingerie eating a pint of coffee bean and mocha ice cream and playing sexy love songs throughout the home sound system. She stuck her spoon inside the ice cream and placed it next to her hip.

"I came home early. I missed you," she said.

He grabbed her face and smashed his lips against hers.

"You've been on my mind all day, all week…"

He couldn't stop kissing her, hugging her tight, touching her. Sugar threw her arms around his neck and he plunged his tongue within her mouth. She came up for air.

"You must've really, really missed me to kiss like this…damn," she whispered.

"You keep me centered," he said while he stroked her back.

Her sheer lingerie top allowed him to see her breasts. Soft puffy sleeves and her hair done up in a slick top-knot made her look like a Princess. His eyes dragged down to between her thighs. His kisses on her mouth made her glisten down there. He could see the extra shiny wetness seeping at the crotch of her bikini panties. She groped between his legs at the large print poking out of his pants.

Erik reached into his trousers and pulled out his length. His fingers slid the crotch of Sugar's panties aside and he inserted his rigid manhood to the hilt. Lifting her from the island counter he thrust up into her as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

There was no talking.

No soft words.

No cooing, or purring, or sensual whimpering.

Erik was inside his woman grunting.

Sugar reached back until her arms were outstretched on the island bracing her body. He bent his legs and pumped hard and fast. Her mouth fell open and her eyes became tight until he barked out a harsh "Fuck!" as his body jerked and he ejaculated.

He wasn't done with her.

He carried her over his shoulder and slapped her ass as he moved her up the two flights of stairs to their bedroom where he pulled his clothes and shoes off. Sugar watched him and licked her moist lips when she saw that his dick was still hard.

Pushing her to her side, Erik spooned behind her and lifted up her strong leg inserting himself back where he belonged.

"Fuck me…" she huffed clutching onto the fluffy green blanket on their bed.

The scarlet red of her freshly done nails matched her panties. He lifted her legs in a different angle where he could watch his dick beating up her wet pink slit. The music swirling around the speakers in their bedroom made him feel like he could be in her pussy all night.

That's what he planned to do.

"Erik…Erik…yeah…yeah… yes, Daddy…"

"Sugar…you squeezing this dick just right."

"You missed this pussy?"

"Yes, baby."

"How much?"

He switched up his strokes and she yelped.

"Ooof…okay…okay…beating this pussy up…"

"You miss Daddy's dick?"

"Yes!"

"How much?"

"A lot!"

"You want Daddy to make a big mess?"

"Ooooohh…yessss!"

His fingers drew salacious slow circles on her clit and her walls clenched and the spasms made her shiver all over as she orgasmed on his dick.

A roar ripped from his throat as his balls drew up tight at his pulsing base and his dick exploded once more drenching her gushy pussy.

"You fucking bastard!"

Calista's brittle voice shattered the sultry music that accompanied Erik and Sugar's lovemaking.

Sugar pulled herself off of his dick and pulled the blanket around her body. Erik leaped up and grabbed a controller on the nightstand and turned off the music. His ex-wife stood in his bedroom fuming and red-faced.

"What are you doing in my house?" he shouted.

He grabbed his pants and shoved his legs in them, slipping on some sneakers quickly. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on over his chest. Sugar stayed put on the bed.

Calista shoved some papers in his face. Legal papers.

"I'm going to have this thrown out, and then I'm going to take Deuce and Marina from you! Forget me trying to get fifty/fifty—"

"Get out of my house. My lawyer will deal with you—"

"My parents have excellent representation for me, so don't think you'll walk over me this time!"

"How the fuck did you get in here?"

"You're going to pay out of your ass. Child support—"

"Calista, get out. This is not the place," Sugar yelled.

"Fuck you, Sugar! Fuck you! Fuck you! FUCK YOU!"

Calista was belligerent then. Erik grabbed her shoulder and nudged her toward the door.

"Don't fucking touch me you prick!"

"Get the fuck out. We don't talk. The lawyers do!"

Sugar left their bed and he saw her go to their closet for clothes. Erik followed Calista down the stairs. The evening sun was slipping down behind the Pacific Ocean outside. For all the ugliness that was occurring in his house, the blood-orange sunset was spectacular.

"…you're going to pay so much money to me."

"That's all you care about? Money? With all the shit I've let you have…that I still pay for? All that time in treatment and you can't look beyond your selfish need to punish me for every little thing?"

"Paying for your kids isn't a punishment—"

"They live with me and they're happy!"

"…my father will make you pay our fees and I will have what is fair and equitable for once—"

She grabbed the knob on the front door and flung it open. He followed her out.

"Going to treatment showed me my worth, Erik. You can have your little love nest with her, but I'll have our children and live quite well—"

"You don't even deserve half the money I give you!"

"What makes you think that, asshole?"

Her eyes were so bright and spiteful, and so vindictive. Still the same selfish entitled bitch.

"Well? Why don't I deserve everything—"

"Because I know Deuce isn't mine!"

Calista's eyes blinked and her skin blanched even whiter.

"What?"

"I have three DNA tests upstairs in my safe that I took when Deuce was barely a year old, and I know he's not my blood you dizzy bitch!"

"Oh, God!" she shrieked.

Her hand flew to her mouth and before Erik could relish the truth finally coming out to her, Calista's eyes darted to the side of the house where a small cement bench sat. Deuce and Marina sat there waiting quietly for their mother to come out.

Deuce jumped up and his face made Erik's heart drop to his feet.

"Deuce…" he uttered in disbelief.

The boy's eyes regarded them both with horror.

"You're not my Dad?" he whispered.

The hollow sound in his voice brought a lump to Erik's throat.

Sugar ran outside and stood behind him.

"Deuce…I didn't mean for you to hear that—"

"Are you my Dad or not?!"

Erik couldn't get the words out. His mouth went dry and there was a growing pain in his chest where his heart used to be.

"Mom? He isn't my father?"

Calista dropped her head down.

"It's true?"

The boy's eyes welled up and he took off running.

"Deuce!" Erik shouted.

Erik tore after him, his own tears blinding him as he tried to salvage what was left of his family.


	41. Why Don't You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik and Deuce deal with anew truth....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few more chapters left until we get into Book 2!

"I'm not perfect  
So I try every day and I grow a little bit  
Read a little more so I can educate my fears  
Reap for my soul and cleanse my spirit  
Pray cus I'm ready for the bloom of the sea  
Peace and serenity is all that I need

Sometimes we fall in love  
Love is always enough

Sometimes we fall in love  
Love is always enough…"

Cleo Sol – "Why Don't You"

The words couldn't be correct.

Surely, she misheard him.

Sabine ran outside to find Erik with venom in his voice and a rabid dog stance toward Calista on the patio.

Not his son? Deuce? That arrogant, swagger-heavy, talented, loveable skater punk with the sharp tongue, and big-hearted love for Erik and Marina?

Sabine knew it was true when Calista couldn't look the boy in the eye. When Erik took off after Deuce, instead of running by his side to stop the child, she stayed behind to comfort Marina. And confront Calista.

"Why?"

That single painful word was all Sabine could blurt out as Calista rubbed Marina's back. Puffy red eyes and a trembling lip met Sabine's stunned gaze.

"I made a terrible mistake."

"Come inside," Sabine said ushering in the distraught mother and weeping daughter from the chilly air.

"Why did he run away?" Marina asked.

Her tears looked like tiny crystals on her cheeks.

"He's upset," Sabine said.

They went into the family room and Calista sat on the wide sectional with Marina draped over her lap. She comforted her daughter as best she could but Marina kept getting worked up.

"He belongs to Daddy too, right? Right?"

Calista stood up.

"I'm going to take her to her room."

"Go ahead," Sabine said.

She watched Calista lead Marina up the stairs with wobbly legs. When they were gone from view, she grabbed the house phone and called her Dad at the restaurant.

"Papi, Deuce ran away from Erik's house. If you see him please keep him there. Erik ran after him—"

"What happened?"

Papi's voice sounded stressed with the news.

"Something awful has happened. He found out that Erik isn't his father."

"What the hell? What? How did this happen?"

"I'll tell you later. I just found out myself. Calista is here at the house with Marina. I'm going to go look for him, check for his regular spots he might go to. Please call me or Erik on our cells if he shows up. He is devastated and…it's a big mess, Papi—"

"Okay, Mija,….shhh…shhh…don't you lose it right now. Your Mom is here with me, I'll let her know."

"Thank you…um…my cell is ringing. I'll hit you up soon."

Sabine ran into the kitchen and grabbed her phone from off the island counter.

"You find him?" she blurted out to Erik.

"No, I'm still out here looking."

"I told my Dad to look out for him. I'm going to go out now too. Calista took Marina upstairs."

"Have her stay there in case he comes back to the house."

Sabine could hear pain and fear in Erik's voice.

"I'll call his friends on this side of town," he said.

"Ok. We'll find him. Don't worry."

She swiped her phone and texted her brother. He was hanging at their parent's home to do laundry for free. Leaving him a message, she thought of one more person to contact.

Colin.

"Hey, what it do…?"

"Colin! Can you please come to Erik's house right now?"

"I can, but why?"

"It's bad…Calista came over here…she and Erik got into it again, and Erik told her that he knew that Deuce wasn't his son!"

"Shit."

His voice.

Something was off about Colin's voice.

"Deuce ran away and Erik is looking for him. I'm about to go out search for him too. Calista is here with Marina—"

"I'm on my way."

"Colin, did you know?"

Sabine heard Calista making her way back down the stairs.

"I'd rather not say over the phone. Text me if you find Deuce," he said.

Sabine slipped her phone into the back pocket of her jeans. She grabbed a pair of her sneakers by the garage door.

Calista approached her wringing her hands and looking, even more, worse for wear.

"Marina?"

"I got her into bed for now."

"This is so fucked up. Why did you do it? If you loved Erik so much, why would you have a baby with someone else?"

"I did love him. I still do. So much…but…"

Calista grew flustered.

"Sit down," Sabine said.

Calista sat on the edge of a loveseat in the main living room. Sabine sat near her. The woman's hands shook and her eyes darted around the room trying to focus on something. Sabine felt anger in her heart, but she also felt a deep sadness for Deuce. The deceit. The lying. All the harm this woman brought to her own family. Erik too. Was all that cheating and disrespect he did just retaliation against his ex? Punishment for her transgression? Sabine felt a strong sense of pity for her. To be in love with someone who didn't love her back. Stooping so low and tricking a husband with another man's offspring.

"Erik and I were in the middle of another breakup and I started seeing someone. I thought this new relationship might be something substantial. But he wasn't Erik. I tried to be with someone who reminded me of him…I couldn't get over him no matter who I dated. I got pregnant by this other man and he didn't want me or my baby. I found out he had impregnated two other women while he was with me. Then Erik came back into my life and I just…I wanted him. I loved him so much and I wanted us back together…so I told him I was pregnant with his baby. He married me. Deuce's biological father is Black too, so I didn't think anyone would question what Deuce looked like. I don't know how Erik found out—"

"You didn't give him a choice or chance to—"

"I loved him! He loved Deuce! That's all that mattered to me!"

"Your son is out there losing his damn mind because you only thought of yourself. I swear to God if anything happens to that boy-!"

Calista burst into tears. Clutching her face in her hands she rocked back and forth in her seat.

"I didn't want this to happen! I didn't want this to happen! Please, God, don't let anything happen to my baby…"

Sabine scooted over and put an arm around Calista. No matter how she felt, Sabine had to recognize a grieving woman when she saw one. Grieving over her son. Grieving over her ex. How out of control would Sabine feel if she lost Erik's affections? His loving was larger than life. He was protective. Possessive. A big fluffy marshmallow when it came to his children and her. Nurturing and generous with his time and resources. She would probably go a little bonkers herself if he left her.

But she wouldn't pass off a child that wasn't his to him.

Sabine sat with Calista until she heard the doorbell. She walked to the front door.

"No word?" Colin asked as he rushed inside.

"No—"

"What is he doing here?"

Calista stood up and glared at Colin.

"I'm here for Erik."

Calista shook her head and ran up the stairs. Sabine stared at Colin. Stared him down to his core.

"Are you Deuce's father?"

Her stomach tensed.

They shared women before. Colin was Black. He had easy access to Calista if he wanted her.

"I'm not his father."

Sabine exhaled loud and gripped her waist.

"I'd never do anything trifling like that, Sugar."

"Do you know who the father is?"

"I had some suspicions. I mentioned it to Erik after Deuce was born. This is my fault. I should've kept my mouth shut. I just didn't want my boy going out like some punk. He never said anything to me . I assumed he had some tests done, so I thought it was all good and just me being paranoid about some rumors."

"Rumors?"

"About Calista and…Reggie Hardwick."

"The football player? The one in rehab?"

Colin nodded.

Sabine shook her head.

"I'm going."

She grabbed her keys.

"I'll look south of here and linger around the house," Colin said.

She nodded and went to the garage. Taking the jeep, she drove around to the high school and the skate park, then drove back North to hit up other spots. Erik texted her to say he was heading back to the house. None of Deuce's local friends heard from him. Deuce's phone wasn't on so Erik couldn't track him with it.

It was going on eight at night.

She drove around several blocks and finally stopped by the taqueria.

"Find him?"

Belinda came from around the counter.

"No."

Papi strolled out of the kitchen pulling off his work apron. He had his keys in his hand.

"I drove around already. I didn't see him anywhere…" she said.

Belinda's eyes lit up.

"Deuce, baby…where have you been?"

Sabine's mother ran to the entrance and threw her arms around Deuce.

"I didn't know where to go…"

His eyes were swollen and his hair was a wild tangle of curling wavy tendrils. The boy just crumbled and pressed his face into Belinda's chest weeping. Belinda ushered him to a nearby booth and made him sit while he bawled. Sabine texted Erik.

"I have you, Deuce. You're here with us now…" Belinda soothed.

"I-I-I-don't…I don't know what's happening. My Dad said I'm not his—"

"You're his," Belinda said softly rubbing his hair.

"Everything is a big lie. Everything!"

They all sat with Deuce as he tried to calm down.

"Go wipe your face with cool water in the restroom," Belinda said.

Her eyes stared out toward the entrance.

Deuce made a sad trek to the restroom as Papi balled up his fist and tapped it on the table.

"These fucking people—" Papi hissed.

"Cedro…" Belinda's head nodded toward the front.

Erik stormed in with relief in his eyes. A few seconds later Calista entered with Marina. The moment they saw each other the hackles rose up again.

"Why did you bring them? You had no right to come to my house like that—"

"You will not destroy me again just because you have money—"

"You center everything around yourself—"

"Stop it!" Cedro shouted.

Sabine flinched and her mother stood up from the booth to stand by his side.

"Deuce is in the restroom with his guts ripped out and Marina is right here in front of you crying and you two selfish idiots can't even see what you're doing?!"

"Cedro…" Belinda whispered holding onto Papi's arm.

Cedro reached for Marina and pulled her toward his wife as Deuce crept out of the restroom. Erik ran to him and hugged him. Calista went up to him and smothered him from another angle.

"Get off me!"

Deuce jerked away from them both.

"You ruined my life!" he screamed at Calista.

"Deuce…" Erik said reaching for his son again.

"You don't want to pay for me…I'm just a bill every month—"

"That's not true!"

"Don't touch me. I hate you both!"

"Deuce, stop!" Marina wailed.

"I'm taking them home with me! We'll sort this out tomorrow," Calista snapped grabbing for Marina.

"You're not taking them anywhere. It's getting late. They'll stay with me and then I'm calling my lawyer in the morning to take of what I should've done fourteen years ago."

Deuce tried to make a run for the door but Erik blocked him.

"Deuce! We're going home and I'll explain everything—"

"I don't want to talk to any of you!"

Calista pulled Marina toward the exit and Erik put an arm out to stop her.

"You're not taking her anywhere!"

"I'll take her and my son!"

"Both of you just stop! Just stop!"

Sabine's mother stalked over to Calista and twisted her hand away from Marina. Belinda reached for Deuce's hand and guided him back with her behind Papi.

"None of these children are going with either one of you!" Belinda shouted.

Papi stepped in front of Belinda when Erik moved toward her still reaching for his kids.

"No," Papi said firmly.

"They're coming home with us," Belinda warned.

"You can't just kidnap my children like this," Calista lamented clutching onto her purse.

"You both don't get to have them right now. Look at them. Traumatized. At each other's throats instead of tending to their needs. They'll stay with us—"

"For the rest of the weekend," Cedro finalized, backing Belinda up.

"You can't do this…Erik…they can't do this."

Calista stomped her foot.

Belinda turned her attention to Erik.

"You have full custody right now so they are legally under your guardianship. Will you allow us to take them so we can calm them and eventually figure all this mess out?" Belinda asked.

Erik's eyes looked watery and weary. He glanced over at Sabine.

"Let them take them," Sabine pleaded with her eyes and not her voice.

Erik stepped back and his shoulders slumped.

"Okay," he said.

"This isn't right-!"

"Calista. Shut. Your. Mouth."

Belinda's words froze the woman.

"This isn't about what you or what Erik want. You can sue us later if you feel wronged, but I'm taking these children and putting them to bed."

Belinda guided Marina and Deuce out of the restaurant. Cedro lingered behind.

"Sugar, bring some clothes for them, things they'll need for school too," Cedro said.

She nodded.

"Calista, go home. If Deuce or Marina want to talk to you later, then I will allow them to call you. That goes for you too Erik. Give them time to come down from this news. If we get to the house and they want to talk or come to either of you, I will bring them."

Calista closed her eyes and her body shook. Fresh tears rolled down her face.

"I love my children," she uttered with the sound of defeat laced in her tone, "I made an awful mistake and I've been paying for it a long time. I didn't want him to know…I didn't want anyone to know…"

"Go home. Call a friend over to be with you. Get your head together. Okay?"

She nodded. Her eyes brushed over Erik's.

"I didn't want him to know, Erik. Colin made you go behind my back. Didn't he?"

"I had a right to know."

"He loves you. That's all you needed to know…ripped his heart out…that's what you did! Ripped all our hearts out."

"You…"

Erik raised his hand to his face and balled it up trying to contain his anger.

Sabine laced her fingers with Erik's and pulled him toward the exit.

"Let's go," she whispered.

They both staggered out. Walking toward the tri-level they were silent together. Every now and then Erik would give a shuddery sigh and Sabine squeezed his hand to keep him in touch with her presence. Entering the house, Sabine pulled him to the family room and made him sit while she made coffee for them both.

"I'm glad they're with your parents."

Sabine handed him a piping hot mug of a freshly roasted blend and sat next to him.

"You knew all this time?"

Erik nodded.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Erik's cell buzzed. He pulled it from his pants pocket.

"Colin," he said.

"I forgot to hit him up."

"I texted him."

Erik swiped a message on his phone.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow."

Sabine sat with him and they sipped coffee. They drank and Sabine waited for Erik to open up. He seemed lost in his thoughts as he sat quietly.

"I'll take these," she said when both their mugs were empty.

Sabine cleaned the mugs and put them away. Standing in the kitchen she waited a few minutes to gather her own wandering mind. What words of comfort could she give him? He carried the truth with him for years and years. He loved Deuce. She saw that evidence every single day. He treated the child no different than he did Marina. Deuce had all his mannerisms. The bulk of his personality was shaped by having Erik as his father. She and Deuce were exactly the same. The only difference was that Sabine knew she wasn't Papi's biological child. But that didn't change or color her love for Cedro Moreno. That was her father forever. Erik had to know that although Deuce was upset, he still loved him, even through his shock and rightful anger at learning the truth in such a dreadful way.

Sabine returned to Erik's side. Eventually, they both had to use the restroom and she thought maybe he wasn't ready to talk. She was going to suggest that he go lay down, but then he cleared his throat and wiped his eyes.

"We lusted after each other. We fought…"

Erik closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

"I slept with her after a long absence and then I was told I was going to be a father. Like I told you before, I did what I had to do."

Sabine nodded and stroked his arm encouraging him to continue.

"Then one day, out of the blue, Colin comes to visit me while I'm doing a commercial in New York. I had just moved to L.A. with Calista and Deuce. I was getting into the groove of being a father. I was being all adult and shit. Earning a living. Paying for everything. Taking care of a wife and a little dude, buying my first real house…"

Erik's dimples ticked up when he smiled at the memory. Sabine squeezed his hand again.

"Colin just shows up. I thought he wanted to surprise me just to hang out like we used to. Once I married Calista, I just cut off a lot of socializing just to be with her and Deuce. Seeing Colin made me want to cut loose for a bit. For old time's sake."

He released her hand and rested it on his leg.

"We got to chopping it up in my hotel room and he says, 'Yo, there's some talk floating around about Calista'. I thought he was going to tell me about some jealous gossip about her career, or some other stuff. He mentioned a man's name—"

"Reggie Hardwick."

Erik blinked a few times.

"Colin told me when he was here."

"Oh. Yeah. That dude. I'd seen pictures of him with Calista. But she was being photographed with a lot of guys. It's Hollywood. It's the whole celeb and sports machine. I thought nothing of it. I was busy dipping and diving myself. When she and I got back together I believed it was some inevitable prelude to another make-up and possible break-up session. Colin said he was hearing from some other Pro athletes that Reggie was dropping babies in quite a few women. He told me that I might want to check and make sure Deuce was mine."

Erik stared at her.

"I wanted to sock him in his jaw so bad at that moment. I knew she was dating a bunch of high-profile men to get back at me. Tryna get me jealous. There were some overlap gaps between me and Reggie but that's how it is in closed circles. I never thought she'd fuck a man and trick me when she got caught out there. She would get an abortion before coming to me…that's what I believed in my gut. But then…"

"You got suspicious."

"Yeah. Colin's words fucked with my head real heavy. I start looking at the boy real different. Tryna see me in him. He's mixed so I knew he'd probably come out much lighter than me. Hair less kinky maybe. I know how phenotypes and genotypes work. He looked like her. We could all see he was Black so it was all good. Then… I got online and looked at pictures of that clown. He already had two kids, and they didn't look like him at all. It just festered in my gut. Deuce was about nine months old when Colin pulled my coattails. I waited until he was a year old before I had him tested. I waited until Calista was out of town and I went to three different reputable testing facilities. They all came back the same. He wasn't mine."

Erik exhaled loudly. Sabine held his hand again.

"Things were beginning to unravel by then. I was traveling heavily, winning a lot. New endorsement deals flooding in like crazy. Calista was fussing with me that I wasn't around to help her…I was tired of her and all my doubts about the baby had me tapped out mentally."

"Why didn't you leave her then? You could've escaped all of this heartache if you confronted her right away."

"I was going to leave her. Had the DNA papers in my hand notarized and everything. I was going to fling it in her face and just jet…"

Erik waved his right hand in the air. He shook his head then clasped his fingers together.

"I had my bags packed and in my car. I was sitting in the house waiting for Calista to show up from a Spa Day. My body was so hot with anger that I was sweating. I was so fucking livid."

"You had a right to be, Erik. Anyone would be."

Sabine held his hand on her lap. He leaned toward her.

"I kept listening out for her car to pull into the driveway. Deuce was on the floor with a bunch of toys I put down for him to play with. I couldn't even look at him. Just kept seeing faces of other men laughing at me. Every little sound I heard, I thought it was her. I was amped to jump down her throat… but then… Deuce…he crawled over to me and put his hand on my leg and pulled himself up. He reached up and touched my face and said "Dada" for the first time and I knew right then and there. That was my child. I didn't care that Calista tricked me, had actually cheated on me with Reggie for a moment when she couldn't decide what to do. I didn't care about the gossip and rumors anymore. I knew Deuce's biological father was a piece of shit, and I couldn't let him go be with a man like that. I loved that boy. I held him first when he was born. I gave him my name. That's my son. My son. Mine. You hear me?!"

"I hear you."

Sabine stroked his face.

"He's got to know that my love for him is solid because—"

"Because he's yours," she said.

"No matter what…"

Erik broke down then. Sabine held him.

"For years I wanted to tell him the truth. But I was afraid. She could take him from me and let Reggie be in his life. The man had fucking problems. Drug addiction. Babies everywhere. Assault charges. I couldn't let Deuce be part of any of that. That nigga was in the news all the time on some bullshit. Then we had Marina. Time just kept passing and I just wanted to forget. I didn't even tell Colin because I was embarrassed. Ashamed of what Calista had done. I wanted to pretend it wasn't true."

"Is that why you took so long to finally get a divorce?"

He wiped his eyes again.

"Yeah. I kept waiting for Calista to use the truth against me and take him. Marina was my blood and the courts had to be fair to me. But with Deuce…I had no clue. That's why I've been seeing my lawyers these last few months. Looking at my legal options with going for permanent full custody."

"Baby…I wish you would've told me. I could've helped you—"

"You have your goals to focus on. You didn't need this on your head too."

"Me and Deuce are the same."

"We just keep hurting him and Marina and I just want it to stop."

"What did your lawyers say about custody?"

Erik sat back on the sectional and stared up at the ceiling.

"Laws have changed over the years so there are two things in my favor to help me be recognized as the legal parent. I signed the birth certificate binding me legally as the father. Plus, there's the fact that he was born during the marriage. My lawyers think I have a good case to go against her even though I'm not related to him by blood. Deuce wants to live with me and I provide the best living situation right now. Shit…I just wish Calista would've told me the truth from jump."

"Would you have married her if you knew all the facts?"

Erik looked at her.

"Yeah. I would've for Deuce's sake. We may have eventually divorced sooner, but I couldn't let that boy have a shaky upbringing. I would've still given him a chance. Let him have a real family. I had feelings for his Mom. It wasn't love but it felt close enough at the time. She would've been in a bad way had I not done it. I heard that two of Reggie's six other kids are in juvenile homes right now. One was taken by CPS from another mother. Deuce wouldn't be in that situation. Ever. Not while I'm here. I gave him a life. I've been so scared for him. All these years. Worried about her taking him away. I just got tired tonight. Fed up with her throwing her lies around. I wanted her to know. I was going to tell him but in my own way. Alone. I wanted to prepare him and Marina for what is about to come. I can't have her parents around them. Calista had her reasons for doing this, but I don't trust her to make good decisions that are best for our children. She's still self-centered. I don't think that will ever change."

His breathing eased up.

"Why don't you go to bed? I'm going to pack up some things for Deuce and Marina and head on over to my parents to check on them."

"Can you tell them—"

"You don't have to ask Erik. I already know."

"I'm sorry this went down like this."

"It's always a circus with us. I'm getting used to it…I think," she joked.

He gave a heartfelt smile.

"You'll be okay while I'm gone? Should Colin come back over?"

"I'm a big boy. I'll get my mind right."

"I'll call you with an update before I go to sleep. If you don't answer, I'll leave a text message."

"Thank you."

Erik reached over and bear-hugged her.

"It's going to be alright," she whispered in his ear.

She watched him make his way up the stairs before she left the house. She took the jeep again and checked her cell at a stoplight. The Moreno house looked quiet from the street with the porch lights off. Sabine entered her parent's living room with soft footsteps.

"Hey, baby."

Belinda sat on the couch next to Cedro. The tv was on playing a random police procedural. She could see Marina was fast asleep curled inside a thick blanket on a loveseat in their den.

"How are they?" Sabine asked.

"Confused. Sad. Deuce is in Robert's room. He won't come out."

"He say anything?"

Cedro rubbed his chin.

"He's still shocked. We check on him…let him know he's in a safe place to talk when he's ready," he said.

"How is Erik?" Belinda asked.

Sabine plopped down in front of them crossing her legs.

"He told me everything. Colin told him that there were rumors about Calista and an NFL player that were true. She got pregnant by this man and tried to fool Erik so he'd marry her. Erik waited until Deuce was a year old and had some tests done. Not his baby. But he loved Deuce and didn't want him to be with his real father because the dude is bad news."

"Who is he?" Cedro asked.

"You ever hear of Reggie Hardwick? From the Raiders?"

Cedro and Belinda closed their eyes.

"He was just on the news with some assault charges," Cedro whined.

"What a nightmare," Belinda grumbled.

"He stayed because he wanted Deuce to have better. He was scared for a long time that he had no legal backing to challenge her for anything."

"So he put up with an unhappy marriage," Cedro muttered.

"For the kids," Belinda added.

"He's not perfect. He did a lot of bad things himself. But I understand why he stayed with her," Cedro said.

"You think he's awake?" Sabine said.

"I don't think he'll be able to sleep tonight. Marina was with him for a little bit, but he sent her out. She's all over the place…thinks that they'll be split up because Erik isn't his Dad."

Sabine stood up.

"I'm going to go try and talk to him…if he's up."

She took off her sneakers and padded down the hallway and knocked on Robert's bedroom door.

"Deuce, it's me, Sugar. Are you up?"

"Yeah."

"Can I talk to you? If you don't want to talk it's okay. I just came from your Dad's house. He's thinking about you. He's worried too. I know this has been an awful night for you. I'm sorry this all happened …"

She waited.

He stayed quiet.

"He loves you Deuce. Your Mom loves you too. Adults fuck up. They fucked up. But for good reasons—"

"How is lying a good reason?"

Sabine placed her hand on the doorknob. She turned it and was surprised to see it wasn't locked.

"Can I come in?"

"You're supposed to wait until I say yes or no before you bust in. Dang."

His eyes had that sly smart-ass look to them, and the smirk on his face was pure Erik as he sat back on her brother's twin bed.

"Smart mouth—"

The smile that crept on her face dropped when she found herself bursting into tears. Deuce sat up abruptly as she swiped at the door to close it. Sitting at the edge of the bed, she wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you crying?"

"Because of everything. This shitty…"

She shook her head. Deuce stared down at her hands.

"I feel numb," he whispered.

"Me too. I was going to come in here and tell you that not all families are built on blood. Sometimes its horchata and tacos," she grumbled.

He smiled.

"I was going to tell you that I know what it's like to be raised by a man you are not related to biologically…but it's crap. I had the truth on my side from the beginning. Your Mom wanted to be with your Dad. She was with someone else and made you. She wanted you. She wanted your Dad too. She was facing a big problem alone and chose Erik to save her. And you."

"You know who my biological Dad is?"

"Erik mentioned someone. He can tell you about him. Or your Mom."

"I want to hear it from you. Who is he?"

"They should tell you—"

"I want to hear it from you. You don't lie or hide anything. You'd make it real. Nothing feels real right now."

"He was someone your Mom was dating when she broke up with your Dad. He's a football player."

"What's his name?"

Sabine bit her tongue.

"Please. Just tell me."

"He's not someone…"

Deuce's eyes pleaded with hers.

"No one ever tells me anything. I'm tired of it, Sugar."

"Reggie Hardwick."

Sabine saw the slow realization trickle across his face.

"My biological Dad wasn't worth a damn either. We both lucked out when our Mom's leveled up. Sorry…poor taste."

"Nah, it's true."

"You two okay?"

Cedro stuck his head into the room.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"See? At least Papi knows w'sup," Deuce joked.

Sugar slapped his hand.

Cedro walked in and Sugar scooted over on the bed so he could sit.

"How are you feeling now?" Cedro asked.

"I'm scared, Papi. I'm scared nothing will be the same. I'm scared my Mom will take me away because I'm not his and she can get lawyers to make that happen—"

"Deuce…Deuce…stop. Nothing will be the same because now everyone knows the truth. And ultimately, the truth is what was needed. You see her?"

Cedro pointed to Sabine.

"That is my daughter. I'd move mountains and whole seas to protect her, take care of her, and make sure she knows how much her Mom and I love her. She's my child. I raised her. Put clothes on her back. Food in her greedy belly, and taught her to take no shit from nobody—"

"Language!"

Belinda stood outside the doorway.

Cedro held out his hand and Sabine's Mom stepped into the room and stood near him taking his hand.

"You are Erik's son. Period. You have your Dad's name. He gave you that. There's pride in your child carrying your name. This truth, this unpleasant truth will only set your family free to be honest about what is best. And what's best Deuce? Making sure you and Marina are together, loved, and cared for. Your parents will have to make that happen no matter how much they dislike each other. You make the family you want to make Deuce. I did that with Belinda. With Sugar. And now with you and Marina. You are part of our family now. And guess what? We'll move mountains and seas for the both of you too."

Deuce closed his eyes and his lips became a thin line. Sabine crawled up the side of the bed and hugged him. He became a limp noodle in her arms.

"I'm going to put Marina in Sugar's room," Belinda whispered.

Cedro nodded and put his hand on Deuce's back. Sabine stared at her father and he wiped a tear from her eye.

"Horchata and tacos, Mija?" he chuckled.

"Like you said, Papi. Family is what you make it."

###

Erik called Calista to check in with her.

The conversation was curt. Just threats of lawyers from her side. He couldn't deal and hung up. Then he called her back.

"I don't want to fight you. I don't want to fight over the kids. Deuce is my child. I don't care about Reggie. I raised my boy. He acts like me and he knows I love him."

"Have you talked to either of them yet?"

"No. I just get text messages. They're fine—"

"You were going to surprise me in court."

"I don't want to talk about courts or lawyers right now. That's not important."

"I'm tired."

"I am too."

"You were the best thing for him."

"I know."

He could hear the tears in her voice.

"The way he looked at me Erik…I was so caught up in just being right…I just wanted to fight back…show them that I cared about them just as much as you. I saw those papers and I couldn't let you beat me. You and Sugar sit down there in your fancy beach house with my babies and play house and I'm here all alone looking like the awful parent. The big bad witch with the trash parents…I couldn't let that go."

"Calista. Get some sleep—"

"You always win. You always win Erik. It's not fair. You give Deuce the best life. You treat our daughter like a Princess. That's all I want for them…"

"I know. Get some sleep. Let's talk tomorrow? Maybe go to lunch and just talk like sane adults? Help me fix all of this Calista."

"Okay. Okay."

"Tomorrow then. No lawyers. No anger. Just us working this out."

He hung up and padded down the steps in his striped pajama bottoms. He was compelled to make more coffee, but he felt his body crashing from emotional turmoil. The house alarm chimed and he heard the chirps of the alarm system turning off. The door flew open.

"Deuce!" Erik cried out.

The boy ran to him and almost knocked him over as he wrapped his arms around Erik's waist. Marina tumbled in after him and her arms draped across her brother's back.

"They wanted to come back over here," Sugar said locking the door behind her.

Erik bit his lip and cradled his son's head. Deuce's reddened eyes greeted his.

"I'm your Dad. Nobody else. Erik Stevens Jr. That's who you are. Understand? Nothing changes. Nothing."

"It still hurts," Deuce said with a shaky voice.

"I know it does."

"Shut up! This is our Daddy!" Marina shouted into Deuce's back.

"You right baby girl," Erik said.

Deuce threw an arm around Marina.

"Talk in the morning?" Erik asked.

Deuce and Marina nodded.

They allowed Erik to kiss their foreheads and they went up to their rooms.

"What happened?" Erik said.

Sugar tossed her purse on the dining table.

"We talked. Then he asked to come here to be with you. He called Calista and talked to her. They both did. I think he wants to process it all under the same roof as you. Not away somewhere. He may want to talk again later. It's past midnight—"

"I don't care. He can talk to me at three in the morning if he wants."

"My Mom was putting Marina in my room and he walked in there. They talked by themselves without us being with them, and then he asked to come here…ahhh…Erik…babe…"

Sugar kissed his face and threw her arms around his neck.

"A small bump in the road," she whispered.

He kissed her and they held hands walking up to the second floor.

"I'll get ready for bed, but you take your time with them," Sugar said leaving him on the landing as she climbed up to the next floor.

Erik walked into Marina's room. The light was on but she wasn't there. He strolled across the way to Deuce's room. She was tucked under the covers with her brother. Her arm was thrown over his waist.

"She won't leave," Deuce said, that old annoyance in his voice.

"Papi told me to be there for you, so I'm here," she said matter-of-factly.

"That was figurative…nevermind," Deuce said rolling his eyes.

He didn't make her leave, so Erik knew he did need her there. He sat next to them, then rolled his big body onto the bed and leaned on his elbow.

"I'm sorry, Lil man. I wanted to tell you everything."

"Mom said the same thing."

"It doesn't matter anymore because we are all related through me," Marina said.

She brushed back a braid and moved her arm so that she could crawl over Erik and push him closer to Deuce. She pulled Deuce's right arm and placed it around Erik's stomach as she dropped her arm on top of Deuce's.

"Such a goofball," Deuce grumbled.

"I love you Deuce," Marina said.

She kissed her brother's arm. Instead of making a face or a rude noise, Deuce stared at her for a long time.

"Goofball," he said. But Erik saw the boy's lip tremble.

"Go to sleep, it's late," Erik said.

He stayed with his children until they both fell asleep. Sugar found them all piled up like kittens in the morning.

###

Erik checked his cell phone and ordered another oaked Chardonnay.

Calista was late.

This was nothing new, but an hour had gone by. He texted her for a third time. Called her house and cell phone. Erik swiped Sugar's number.

"Hey. How's it going?" Sugar said.

"Are you running?"

"No, me Deuce and Marina are skateboarding…no jumping like that Deuce! We're going to eat at Papi's right now."

"Did Calista call the house? She's not here yet."

"Nope. She might've called when we left, but that was only ten minutes ago. Want me to go back and check?"

"No. Go eat with the kids. I'll hit you up later when Yvette gets there."

He hung up and decided to order appetizers. Potstickers and Spring Rolls. He sipped his wine and kept staring at his phone.

Calista's avatar finally popped on the screen.

"I just ordered the first course," he said.

The voice on the other end surprised him by how they sounded. He was ready to cuss until the words he heard sank in. Erik jumped up and left the restaurant immediately dialing 911 as he ran.


	42. Vanishing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik meets Sugar's ire...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only have about four chapters left until the sequel!

"My mind spins around

Catch it before it slips off the edge

And I'm found by the roadside

Day in and day out, pleading to strangers for help

Don't try to pull this stunt right now

Cause it won't ease my grief

You can save me it's alright…"

Anaiis – "Vanishing"

Erik drove into the circular driveway of the La Jolla home he owned.

Paramedics were already there about to bust down the front door. He waved to them.

"I called! I have the key!"

Entering the home quickly, Erik screamed for Calista as he ran toward the stairs.

"She's in here!" an EMT shouted.

They found her on the kitchen floor with her cell phone near her head.

Unconscious.

Erik threw his hands on top of his head as he stood back to let the two EMTs work on her. A closed bottle of pills sat on the kitchen counter next to a nearly empty glass of white wine.

"Not getting anything…." One EMT whispered to the other.

Their CPR was intense and Erik could feel his spirit sliding out of his body. All he could think about was Deuce and Marina.

"Got it!"

"She's faint. Let's go!"

They lifted her onto a stretcher and placed a big valve breathing mask over her face. A little bit of color returned to her cheeks. Erik snatched Calista's pill bottle and cell phone from the floor. He handed the pills to an EMT when they placed her inside the ambulance. He tucked her phone in his jacket pocket next to his own.

"I'm her ex-husband, can I ride with you?" he asked.

He climbed in the back of the ambulance and sat across from her, watching the EMT check her vitals as he kept her breathing. The ride to the Scripps Memorial Hospital was quick and Erik followed her stretcher into the emergency lobby where he gave all the information he could to a nurse.

Sitting alone in an empty waiting room, he pulled out his cell and tried to call Calista's parents. No one answered. He debated about leaving a text message for them to call him as soon as possible, but he decided to wait. They were in Colorado and any news he had wouldn't make a difference in how fast they got there. He debated about calling Sugar too, but he wanted her and the kids to spend their time together in peace. Calista had a pulse and was being cared for by one of the best hospitals in the city. There was still hope without worrying them.

His hands shook as he stared at his phone waiting for Margie or Todd to return his call. They never did. Time slowed to a snail's crawl across a football field. Erik thought of what he'd have to do if Calista didn't make it. His body shuddered with fear and anger.

How could she do this?

At a time when Deuce just had his world rocked, his mother became even more selfish.

"Mr. Stevens?"

Erik didn't bother to stand up. The look on the older white nurse's face told him he should stay seated. He held his breath.

"Calista is out of the danger zone. Thank you for giving the EMTs the pill bottle—"

"Is she…awake?"

"Yes."

"Can I see her?"

"She's a bit drowsy but you can see her. We'll keep her under observation for twenty-four hours and also do a psychological assessment. If she can be released, she'll need to be driven home and looked after for a few days."

"Did she talk? Say why she did this?"

"No. She was flustered and out of sorts, but we hope to know more soon. When she's lucid, I'll come back and get you."

Erik sat patiently as an hour ticked away. He worried about Deuce. He worried about Marina. He stressed over Sugar's upcoming competition and his own. Folding his hands together he leaned forward and pressed them into his forehead. It was always one thing after another. For every happy moment he was able to snatch in his life, Calista was sure to dampen the joy.

"Mr. Stevens?"

Erik stood and followed the nurse.

Calista was in a private room and the moment Erik walked in, she started crying.

"I'll be outside. Please call me if you need me," the nurse said giving Erik a smile of encouragement.

He pulled a chair close to the bed. Staring at her face as she wept with her eyes closed, Erik tried to calm his mind. She was still the mother of his children. People who attempted suicide were in deep pain. He swallowed his anger and reached out for her hand.

"Calista…"

Her swollen red eyes greeted his.

"It was an accident…"

Erik's cell buzzed, he grabbed it from his jacket pocket.

"It's your parents."

She grabbed his hand even though her arm had an IV needle in it feeding her body fluids.

"Don't tell them anything. Please don't answer them!" she pleaded.

He put the cell away. She kept a weak grip on his hand.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself. Please believe me. I went home upset and took my anxiety meds. I couldn't sleep and I was up all night. I took them late this morning. When I got ready for our lunch, I took more and just had one glass of wine to smooth me out before we met up. You can check my phone. I requested a lift to pick me up and take me to the restaurant. After I drank the wine, I felt weird and I realized I had forgotten that I took my meds already that morning. It was just too many too close together. The wine wasn't a smart thing to do either but I was just nervous and my mind was racing—"

She burst into more tears.

"Keep telling me," he encouraged.

Her twisted up face made him squeeze her hand in support.

"The moment I started feeling bad, I tried to call 9-1-1. But I dropped my phone, and then I lost control of my reflexes. I hit my phone and had it do voice dial. I said your name and it called you. I called for help Erik…then I went unconscious. You can look at my phone and see I'm telling the truth."

Erik pulled out her phone. The screen had spider-web shatter marks on it. He pulled up her phone history. There was a Lyft request with text updates from the driver. And he saw where two numbers were dialed. A nine and a one.

"I took too many by accident with the wine because I forgot…that's all. That's all. Please…no one can know I'm in here for this. Not my parents. The kids. Sugar…no one Erik. I'm up for a job in Burbank. A TV show co-hosting gig. My agent says I'm the first choice and if they find out I was in here for an accidental overdose, they won't give me the job. I need this, Erik—"

"Calm down. Calm down…"

"I was just scared to face you. I did this terrible thing to Deuce and you were so angry and I just wanted to feel calm and collected. I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want this. I was so scared…please don't tell our babies…"

He believed her.

Why bother to call a Lyft that actually showed up? Why try to dial 9-1-1? Why call him? She had done attention-seeking stunts in the past, but he didn't want to believe she would do something like this to harm their children.

"You're getting a job?" he said with a smile on his face.

Her eyes focused on his and when she saw his smile, her eyes lit up.

"My first job in forever. My friend Allison set it up for me."

"What kind of show is it?"

"It's a show about fashion designers who are preparing to do their first runway show and helping them choose models and showing the behind the scenes of all that. Stella McCartney is one of the hosts for the British side of it. The first season is focused on L.A., New York, and London. If it gets picked up, they are thinking of doing it in other countries. They want to pair a seasoned fashion designer from those different places with someone who has modeled professionally in all those places—"

"And that would be you," he said.

"It's a great opportunity for me. I have the experience and that's what they want."

He squeezed her hand again.

"I want this Erik. I went to audition last week and my agent said I knocked it out of the park. I didn't want to say anything until I was actually made an offer…"

Her eyes stared at the ceiling as fresh teardrops ran down her face.

"…if they find me like this…they'll pass me over. It's a perfect fit for me."

"I won't tell anyone," he said.

She closed her eyes and the tears fell even more.

"I'll be able to take care of myself and help pay for Deuce and Marina on my own," she whispered.

"What should I tell your parents?"

His cell vibrated again.

"Just tell them you butt dialed them by accident. I'll deal with them myself."

He nodded.

"I'm so tired."

"Get some rest. They are going to keep you here for twenty-four hours. I will come back tomorrow and if you can be released, I'll take you home and make sure you're looked after."

"I have to be in Burbank next week if I get the job."

"You'll get the job. And you'll get better."

"Things will change for me if I do. I'll have to be in Burbank for two weeks to shoot the pilot. If it gets picked up—"

"Let's get you better first and then we can talk about all that."

She clutched his arm.

"I'm sorry for everything. I hurt Deuce and you. How is he? Does he hate me?"

"He doesn't hate you. He's hurt. More than anything he was worried that I didn't love him as mine, and that wasn't true."

"I'm sorry—"

Calista turned her head away from him and cried.

He stayed with her until she fell asleep.

###

He returned home late.

Sabine had cooked Deuce and Marina turkey burgers with swiss cheese. She used her mom's simple recipe of adding Lipton onion soup mix in with the meat. She grilled them outside along with the bottoms of the buns and baked some frozen sweet potato fries. They ate together around the kitchen island.

"When is Dad coming back?" Deuce asked her.

"He didn't say," she said.

The rule was no phones at the table, but she kept her cell next to her plate. It was seven o'clock. He had been gone for eight hours and the only thing she saw on her phone was the text from earlier when he said he would be out for a bit. He left text messages for Deuce and Marina and she wondered if his meeting with Calista went south.

Deuce and Marina were putting their dishes in the dishwasher when Erik walked in from the garage. Happy faces returned to the children as Erik held up a bag of Baskin Robbin's ice cream. The kids ran off to eat their half-pints of dessert in the family room. He pulled out a mocha fudge half-pint for her.

He clasped her hand in his as he pulled her up to their bedroom. She sat on the cushiony lounge chair on the balcony with him. She gobbled up most of the ice cream with a plastic spoon that was in the ice cream bag while she let him relax as the sun prepared to set.

"Everything…?"

"It's fine. We're fine."

"What does that mean exactly?"

"It means we're going to work this out. We're going to talk again tomorrow afternoon."

"How was her attitude?"

Erik's eyes darted away from hers when she asked him that.

"Better…it's better. We'll work this out. She's worried that Deuce hates her—"

"He doesn't. He told me that today."

"She may have a job offer. In Burbank."

"Yeah?"

"She's excited about it. It's a big deal for her—"

"Erik…"

"Yeah?"

"How are you? You were gone for a long time. I was worried about you. What are you feeling right now?"

She watched his eyes stare at the beach.

"I just want peace. I want my kids to have peace. I want to be with you in peace…"

His eyes watered and Sabine put down her nearly finished container of ice cream. She cradled his head on her chest but his hands went up to her face and held it as he kissed her.

"Thank you for being with them all day today."

"It's nothing—"

"No, it's something. You and your family helped us so much yesterday. We wouldn't have made it. I know Deuce will have to struggle with all of his feelings. He'll have more questions…he might want to meet his real Dad—"

"You are his real Dad."

He nodded.

"When the time comes for that, you'll guide him. I'll be here to help with that," she said.

He nuzzled his face in her neck and then he lifted her up and carried her to the bed. He stripped down to his underwear and had her crawl under the covers with him. She kept her shorts and t-shirt on. She cradled his head again and he just rested on top of her.

He fell into a deep sleep, so she went to make sure the children were ready for bed and saw to it that teeth were brushed and things put away properly.

"Where's Dad?" Deuce asked when she came out of Marina's room.

"Sleep. He seemed really tired."

"What did he say about Mom?"

"They are going to work things out."

"I tried to call her, but she didn't answer her phone. Both of them."

"She's probably exhausted too. It was tough yesterday. They both are worried about you."

"You knew your biological Dad when you were little?"

"A little bit. I remember the bad stuff mainly. He wasn't a good person when I was little."

"Have you ever met him since then?"

"No."

"Did you ever want to?"

Deuce's eyes were so inquisitive. Shiny with anticipation.

"When I was fifteen I did. That was only because I was winning junior surf competitions and I wanted him to know that. I needed him to see that I was awesome even without him."

"How did your Mom and Papi feel when you asked to see him?"

"My Mom kinda figured I'd want to one day. Papi supported whatever I wanted to do. But my biological father didn't want to meet me. We spoke on the phone a couple of times and he acted like an asshole. He didn't want me. It hurt but I got over it fast."

"How?"

"By having Papi."

Deuce smiled.

"Do you want to meet your biological father?"

"I looked up a bunch of stuff about him online. He's not cool like my Dad. He's mean. Self-destructive. He's in rehab now. Court ordered. He won't be allowed to see anyone."

Deuce's eyes grew soft.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Do you think I have those genetic traces? Could I end up like him? Addicted to stuff? Mean?"

"You were raised by a man who made sure you had advantages that other people don't have. Whatever that other man did, he did that because of who he was and that has nothing to do with genetics. As far as I'm concerned all you got from him was the slight curl in your hair, a little bit of melanin, and big feet. Everything else is Erik."

Deuce laughed.

"I have a bunch of brothers and sisters. He doesn't take care of them. Is it bad that I'm not interested in meeting them?"

"No."

"Marina is my only sister, the only sibling that I want to have."

"Then so be it."

"I don't think I ever want to meet him."

"That's okay too."

Deuce looked like he wanted to say more, but he stepped into his bedroom leaving her in the hallway.

"I'm going to bed."

"We'll have a big breakfast tomorrow and you can talk with your father."

She turned off the hallway light and climbed back up the stairs. Erik was still asleep and she took off all her clothes and crawled back into bed with him. In the middle of the night, she woke up to use the restroom, and Erik was gone. She threw on a robe and checked the balcony then went to the second floor and checked his office.

Walking down to the first floor, she heard Erik and Deuce in the family room. She sat on the bottom step and listened to their voices. Deuce was crying and Erik comforted him, reassuring him that they were still a real family despite the new circumstances. Sabine could hear the struggle in Erik's voice to soothe his son.

She climbed back up the stairs and waited in the bedroom for him to return. When he did, he was even more exhausted.

"You're awake?" he whispered to her.

"I just went to the restroom."

He kissed her cheek and kept his lips on her face.

"Erik?"

His soft lips trembled against her skin and she turned to cradle his face. Wiping tears from his eyes she did her best to comfort him.

"It'll be okay…I promise," she whispered to him.

His mouth rested near her ear and she thought he was going to tell her something, but he nuzzled back into her neck and just rested there.

Morning came fast and he was gone from her side once more. When she checked the house, the children were gone too. Sabine walked outside and crossed the boardwalk sidewalk to the sand and kept her eyes on the waves.

All three of them were out there.

She saw Deuce catch a three-footer on his board and heard the yells of Erik and Marina bounce across the wind. The water was choppy. She smiled and waved her hand. Marina waved back frantically as Erik shook his hand to encourage her to join them. She held both hands up and dropped them down letting him know that was his time with his children.

She padded back to the house, wiped her feet at the door, and adjusted the air conditioning. Stepping into the kitchen she washed her hands and busted out the pots and pans to make them all breakfast. Pancakes, bacon and sausage, sliced bananas and strawberries. She was opening a new jar of Nutella when they all tumbled in loud and hyper covered in seawater and sand.

"Go get cleaned up," she said.

"Pancakes!" Marina sang out throwing her hands in the air.

The children ran up the stairs and Erik grabbed her waist and pulled her back against his chest.

"Go take a shower!"

She thrust her ass out to push him back. He slapped her backside and snatched a fresh piece of bacon she pulled from the oven earlier.

"Go!" she scolded.

Breakfast was cheerful and Erik was very talkative with Deuce as Marina bent Sabine's ear about getting a new wetsuit for an upcoming junior surf tournament. It all felt like a normal Sunday. To think that two days previous they had all been blown up with a fourteen-year lie, and now they were chattering away like a regular family again.

Family.

Sabine's eyes watched Erik's face as he spoke to his son. They were affectionate together. Erik pulling on Deuce's hair as the boy punched his arm. Her eyes glanced over to Marina who was busy dipping her fork with a strawberry on it into a big spoonful of Nutella on her plate.

They were building their own family unit together. She knew that she was just their Dad's girlfriend, but she felt close to them. Loved them. Would do anything for them. She was in and out of their lives because of her career, but they always welcomed her back as one of their own. They reciprocated to her what her own family gave them.

"Spoke to my parents this morning," he said.

"Yeah?"

"They want us to come up for their Forty-fifth wedding anniversary."

"Forty-five years? Wow!" she said.

"Think you can be free next month?"

"Give me the dates."

"They were going to do a cruise, but my mother wants to see everyone and they changed plans last minute. It'll be in Oakland. BBQ. Bowling…"

"I'm in," she said.

"You'll like Grandma GiGi," Marina said, "she gives the best hugs and she makes the best cakes!"

"Yvette is going with us, so you won't feel like you don't know anyone."

"Grandma GiGi will talk your ear off," Deuce said.

He had a smile on his face, but then it faded.

"Will you tell them about me?" Deuce asked.

Erik put down his glass of cranberry juice as Marina put down her fork.

"We don't have to say anything to them right now if you don't want to," Erik said.

Deuce bent his head down and burst into tears. He covered his eyes and left the table heading for the stairs. Erik hopped off his counter seat and followed his son. Sabine looked over at Marina and she was already shedding tears.

"Ah, baby shark," she said reaching over and holding the girl's hand.

Sabine pulled Marina next to her and hugged her.

"Daddy's on it, okay?"

Marina nodded her head then pressed her face into Sabine's chest releasing hard sobs. Sabine's stomach filled with acid. She wanted to slap the taste out of Calista's mouth.

Instead, she comforted the woman's daughter and hoped Erik could make the world smooth for Deuce once more.

###

Erik packed his things carefully.

He could feel Sugar's angry eyes on his back as he placed underwear and t-shirts on the opposite side of his shirts and pants.

"I don't understand why she can't just come to San Diego and have them with her in La Jolla," Sugar hissed at him.

"She has to be available to the studio in Burbank and I like driving them up. It gives us time to talk together."

"You could fly up there, or just let Yvette go with them!"

"I have been gone for two weeks, Sugar. I want to spend as much time with them as I can before I head out to Bali."

"That's why she should come down here. Ever since she got this job, I feel like you spend more time with her than you do me."

"Baby…c'mon. That's not true—"

"You have permanent full custody now. I don't understand why you still…fuck!"

"Still what?"

"Coddle her! Dammit!"

Sugar stalked away from him and Erik went after her. He shut their bedroom door. The kids were still in school and Yvette was down in the family room watching TV.

"I'm not coddling her—"

"She could fly back to Burbank if they need her. Quick flights every hour on Southwest—"

"Sugar—"

He tried to hold her but she pushed his hands away.

"I was trying really hard to be understanding and patient with you and that bitch. You plan on staying the night up there again? Are you fucking her? Rekindling that old thang because you haven't fucked me in a long time—"

"Sugar! Fuck! Can I talk? Can I get a fucking word in?"

"You've been with her more than me. I'm feeling a little neglected—"

"Dick got you this wound up?"

"Fuck you!"

She punched him in his chest and stomped to the door.

"I'm playing baby—"

"Well I'm not!"

Her shout made him grab for her hand.

"You always have some excuse to be busy. You never want to have sex anymore. Do I bore you now? The last time we had sex it wasn't good at all."

"It was for me."

"Just you then! You weren't there with me. Your mind is elsewhere every time I touch you. If you don't want me anymore just say so. If you want to go back to that selfish hag then just go back. Stop stringing me along. I only get to see you a few times in a month and it's killing me, Erik!"

Sugar's face broke and the waterworks began and he made her sit on the bed next to his suitcase. How quickly things had changed between them. Yet again.

"You make me feel like I'm not important to you," she wept.

Her nose began to run and she wiped it with her baggy t-shirt like a little kid. It made Erik smile and kiss her cheek.

"You are everything to me."

"It doesn't feel like it. I love the kids too, but I want you for myself right now. Those hours you take driving there and back are stolen moments for me."

"Come with us then."

"I want intimacy with you! I can't have that riding in a car with Deuce and Marina."

Erik closed his eyes.

"I'm going to tell you something, and you can't repeat it to anyone."

Sugar wiped her eyes. They were so red and swelling under the lower lids. Erik held her right hand.

"The day after Deuce found out I wasn't his biological father Calista had an accidental overdose. That lunch date I had…the reason I was gone so long that day…I was at the hospital with her. She called me at the restaurant to let me know something was wrong. I called 911…I went out there…I was with the paramedics who revived her. She told me it was an honest accident and swore me to secrecy. No one knows. Just me…and now you. She was terrified of losing her job if the company found out. I've been spending time with her and the kids now because I want to keep an eye on her. I drive the children to her so I can see how she is before I hand them over. If they are comfortable with her, then I leave them. I go and get them because I need to see how she is afterward."

"You should have told me this, Erik. Right from the beginning."

"I told her I wouldn't say anything—"

"I'm your woman! I need to know these things! I don't give a fuck about her wanting to keep secrets from everyone else!"

Sugar jumped up from the bed and paced the floor.

"All this time I'm thinking you've lost interest. She tried to kill herself—"

"It was an accident—"

"She's lied about a lot of shit, Erik! She would say anything to make herself look good! Playing the victim yet again-!"

"Sugar! Have some compassion! I believed her. She was rattled by everything just like all of us. I sat there at the hospital with her for two days while she tried to pull herself back together—"  
"And you thought it was okay for me to think the worst shit? I'm traveling the world thinking my man doesn't feel the same way about me. His life is coming apart at the seams and I must be a burden to him since he won't carve out a tiny bit of time for me. You let me think that shit for weeks, Erik. No compassion for me?"

"She was in a fragile mental state. I just helped her get through it the best way I could. It wasn't a deliberate slight toward you. I wasn't trying to leave you out—"

"But you did! Fuck her secrets! I don't want you hiding shit from me!"

"Okay, maybe I should've told you, but damn, Sugar. My son was losing it! I was losing it! His mother flipped and made a mistake—"

"She's always making mistakes. I'm sick of her. I don't want to be that petty bitch, but fuck it! I want to be first for once."

"C'mere…don't make that face…Sugar…"

Erik reached out for her and pulled her back next to him.

"I'm going to be selfish from here on out," she whispered as he pulled her close to his chest.

"You don't have to be that way."

"I don't believe it was an accident. She got your full attention, and now she gets to keep you as her protector. Poor little Calista. If she makes a boo boo again, Erik will still come running to the rescue."

"Don't say shit like that."

"You're an idiot. If you have to see that woman in person to see if she's okay, then why the fuck would you trust her with your children? Such a fucking dummy…she just continually manipulates you and your dumbass falls for it every time. You deserve each other—"

Erik pushed away from Sugar and stood up. He finished packing his suitcase.

"Get a jacket. You're coming with us," he said zipping up his bag.

"I'm not going anywhere," she snapped.

He walked to their closet and grabbed one of her warm-up jackets, a form-fitting lime green one with large pockets.

"Let's go."

She rolled her eyes at him and he threw the jacket on her lap. Lifting his suitcase from the bed, he rolled it on the floor and opened the bedroom door.

Erik heard Sugar's footsteps falling behind him.

"We're leaving, Vette," he called out to his sister.

Yvette sauntered out from the family room and gave Erik a hug. Her eyes regarded Sugar's and she instantly felt the friction between them. Sugar followed him out to the garage. The surfboards he was going to use in Bali were on top of the roof rack. He opened up the back of the jeep and stuck his bag next to Deuce and Marina's that were already inside.

They drove to Mission Bay High School where Deuce was out front waiting for them. They drove up to gather Marina at La Jolla Country Day. Erik had made arrangements to take them both out of school early to avoid traffic up to Burbank. Sugar was quiet as Erik spoke to his kids for most of the ride up. Once they passed by downtown L.A., she had loosened up and spent most of the time talking with Marina as Deuce listened to music in his earbuds. Erik tried stroking her thigh as he drove, but she moved her leg from him.

Sugar's eyes took in the scenery as Erik drove through Calista's new neighborhood. Upscale Burbank, she wasn't that far from Burbank Studios in a snazzy little condo with a secured community.

Sugar sat in the jeep and waited for him to deliver the children. Deuce and Marina rolled their own bags as Calista buzzed them into the complex from the front of the property. They walked past several units before getting to the one near the community pool.

"Hey Muffin…and my big Deuce!" Calista said hugging them.

She wasn't alone.

"Hey, Rachel," Erik said.

Calista's older half-sister sat in the living room drinking a Pepsi. She hugged Deuce and Marina and they all watched the children go put their suitcases in their rooms.

"Good drive up?" Calista asked offering him a can of Pepsi.

Erik took the beverage. The condo smelled of something good and spicy cooking in the oven.

"Smooth."

"Staying for dinner?"

"Nah. Gotta get going," he said.

Rachel gave him an awkward hug. They hadn't seen each other in years. She was always lukewarm with him and became downright frigid when he left Calista. She was neutral towards him.

Deuce and Marina returned.

"Be good for your Mom, and I will see you both in two weeks," he said.

"Okie Doke!" Marina said hugging him hard.

He reached for Deuce and pulled him in tight.

"Yvette will fly up on Monday. Your flight to Oakland leaves at noon."

"Sugar's coming, right?" Marina asked.

Erik saw Rachel's lip curl into an irritated pout. Calista acted like she didn't hear his woman's name.

"She'll be up. You be great for everyone and do your homework. Don't think because I pulled you out with an extra week for Spring Break that you can goof off."

They both whined and he hugged them one more time before observing Calista as he finished drinking his soda. When he felt like the children were in good hands and not acting weird, he left.

"Took you long enough," Sugar snorted.

He ignored her and drove them to a Marriott near the Burbank Airport. She didn't question why they were there or how she was getting home. She followed along with him as he checked into his room. He opened the windows and they could hear the rumble of a plane taking off from the airport.

"Sit down," he ordered.

Sugar took off her jacket and slipped off her sandals.

He poured them both glasses of red wine from the minibar and handed her a glass. She took it and sipped. Her eyes were still heated with him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her. I thought I was doing what was best at that moment. It wasn't a slight toward you. I'm sorry I haven't been available to you…in that way."

He sat down and drank his glass of wine.

"I was really bad that last time, huh?" he asked.

Sugar gave him a slight smile.

"Not your best…ever."

"Damn. Left you real salty."

"You broke our connection. If you would've told me about Calista, then I would know why you were acting the way you did. I don't trust her. If you believe her, then you believe her. I don't. She's always this gray cloud over us. I try to push it aside because she had Deuce and Marina, but…I'll never be comfortable with her."

"That's fair."

"How was she acting?"

"Her sister is there, so I feel good about it. The kids were fine."

"That's all that matters then."

"As it should."

They finished drinking and Sugar glanced around the hotel room.

"I'm hungry," she said.

Erik ordered them steaks and from room service and they drank more liquor from the bar. By the time they had food in their bellies, Sugar had become soft and sweet and receptive to his touches.

"Sorry," he murmured in her hair as he stroked her curls and peppered kisses on her neck.

"I don't want to be left out on stuff like this," she breathed into his ear.

He undressed her slowly, taking his time to enjoy every moment with her. He would fly out to Bali in the morning, and she'd drive back to San Diego and fly out to Argentina the day after that. He had neglected her physically as he got into the groove of the Pro Tour. It would be easy to blame her schedule too, but it was the nature of their chosen lifestyle.

Sugar watched him take off every article of clothing on his body and he saw her breathing grow heavier. Her arousal sank into him and he kissed every inch of her body.

"Sorry," he said kissing her ankles.

"You should be."

"Sorry," he said kissing up to her kneecaps on both legs.

"I'll think about forgiving you."

"Sorry," he whispered into the apex of her thighs.

Her body shivered as he swiped his tongue along her vulva. She was waxed completely, and he knew she was doing it for the Maverick photo shoots she had coming up in Europe. The slickness of her skin only highlighted the slick arousal that poured from her center the more he kissed her there with his big warm mouth.

"Keep saying you're sorry," she moaned.

"Sorry, baby…"

He licked her plump bud and flicked his tongue against her piercing. Sucked on her folds with gentle pressure until she was squirming and twisting her legs around his face. Erik brought her to the edge of her release but licked his tongue up along her belly and between her breasts before biting her nipples.

"Forgive me?" he asked rising above her and placing his weight on her body.

She wrapped her legs around his waist.

"No."

Pressing his lips against hers he forced his tongue into her needy mouth. Shifting his weight, he let his wide glans nudge against her opening.

"You won't forgive me?"

"You have to please me first."

"I was that wack?"

"Terrible. I felt like I was being humped by a sad dildo."

"Damn. That's fucked up. But I made you cum—"

"I made myself cum. And that orgasm was pitiful too."

"I was that neglectful?"

"The worst. I was embarrassed for you."

He threw his head back and laughed. She reached up and pulled his face close to hers.

"I miss you. Every moment matters. Even if it's just five minutes with you, that means the world to me."

Her eyes were shiny and Erik penetrated her with a slight shift of his hips. He moved slow within her, entwined his fingers with hers, and made up for any and everything. Pleasing her was always his priority and he had set her aside trying to make the world go round. He felt terrible about it.

"Erik…"

Sugar arched her back and he kept his weight on her. Rocking into her a little faster, he covered her body completely with his until he felt her nails raking down his back and hard pants blowing in his ear from her mouth.

"I'm here, baby…" he huffed into the shell of her ear.

Erik spilled into her with shouts that followed hers as she clutched his body tight. The blood in his body thrummed hot. They had soaked the bedsheets and her hair. She wiped sweat from her temples and grinned hard as he kissed her clavicle.

"Still wack?" he asked.

She shook her head and the grin on her face grew.

They kissed and within the hour they were in another deep embrace with her on top of him, his right hand clutching her neck as she wiggled her hips tightly pressed against his. Her loving was strong and she had him yelling as hard spurts from his dick made him come undone beneath her.

Sugar's kisses all over his face and neck calmed his heartbeat.

"Forgive me yet?"

"Just a little bit," she said before he drifted off to a peaceful slumber.


	43. Down Here in Hell (With You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar meets Erik's family and going home isn't the same anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few chapters left before book 2 starts! This is a nice long chapter because I have to write my Afropunk!Erik Killmnger one shot next!

"Magic carpet ride  
See it don't have to last forever  
I know we shouldn't fly so high  
But the closer to the sun… the better  
See I want to make you feel the fire,  
while I burn you with my bad days,  
Ooo want to be unsatisfied, (sure)  
you can feel the heat comin' from me...baby.

What would I do if we were perfect,  
where would I go for disappointment,  
words without hate would leave me nothin' else to say"

Van Hunt—"Down Here in Hell (With You)

Sabine dunked her head under the rush of water that charged at her body.

The photographer that Maverick Innovative Sports hired for her photoshoot in France was a jovial Filipino Brazilian with an eye for color and action shots. She did her best to avoid slamming her board on top of his head as she passed by his water-protected lens as he floated in the sea of the South Brittany Coast. Maverick was pushing her to appear in as many surfing locations globally to gear up for her ascension into the Pro Tour. Once again, they were dangling swimsuit launches, partnerships with outside products to sponsor, and even a push toward having her appear in the Olympics when surfing became a legit sporting event in four years.

The pressure on her to be perfect was heavy and she tried her best to do what they asked when they asked, even if it meant leaving Erik at a moment's notice. Sabine was grateful that he understood the life. He lived it himself, and he also understood the pressure of being a hot young commodity that brought in money. Even though Sabine hadn't reached her professional zenith yet, she was just now becoming a name for other Pros to look out for and fear. She had already made the company money by being the new wave of surfers making highlight-reel names in the sport.

Her face marketed Maverick wetsuits and sales went up. Her face marketed a sports drink and sales went up. She had recently signed on to be the face of a new brand of water socks and beach sandals and the stock in those companies rose. Maverick really pushed the idea of her being the new inclusive and diverse face of surfing, and she understood that Blackness was hot at the moment especially with so many companies being dragged for not appearing to be anything less than white-centered. Sabine accepted the role. It paid her well, and it also encouraged more people who looked like her skin color to take up the sport. Jean Fouche could very well say he was a champion of diversity, but the bottom line was that he was a capitalist too, and bringing in new blood brought in more money. Sabine did that for him, and he was waiting for the day when he could do an entire campaign celebrating her entry to the big show. That's when the real money would come in. It was an open secret that Jean Fouche was pushing her to be the female Killmonger.

Sabine felt that she was ready.

Erik's coaching and her strict adherence to diet, exercise, and practice heats every day had her itching to break away from all the qualifying showings she had to do to prove her worth. Everyone knew she was ready to go against the top female surfers. Erik even made comments that she could serve heat to the men in the game too. His own tour year was hot. He won first place in Bali and there was rumbling in the surf league that he could become the world champion again at the end of the year, bringing him closer to Slater's record.

Knowing that Erik was doing well was the only thing that kept her happy when they were apart so much. Her anger with Calista had subsided once she knew the truth. She still felt the woman had a long way to go to become healthy and whole, but at least Erik had the children with him and his family. Sabine did her best to keep her at bay. Calista lived in another city. They didn't have contact with one another. Thankfully, Erik started allowing the children to fly up with Yvette when it was time for visitations so that they could have a few days together alone. Their sex was better. Their quality time was better. Seeing the children happy, healthy, and thriving was the icing on the cake. Summer vacation had started and Sabine sent money to Asia and Yolanda to do weekend surf clinics for girls while she was away. Marina was still employed with them and Sabine could see the growth in maturity. Erik's daughter had turned eleven and Sabine sat in awe sometimes remembering her first encounter with Marina as a shy and quiet little pixie. To see her become a gregarious weekend teacher to other girls and to also witness her evolve into a serious surf competitor made Sabine cry sometimes. Baby shark was becoming her own dynamic personality.

A month after her birthday, Marina received her first sponsorship from Nike. She was so proud to do her first ad campaign in Los Angles with Lebron James and her father. She was photogenic and Nike loved that she looked like Erik. They played up the entire Girl Dad angle with them, and Sabine was breezing through an airport in Spain when she saw a print ad with Erik and Marina in an airport shop. It was the cutest thing in the world to see baby shark with the same competitive expression on her face that matched Erik's famous mean-mugging when he tamed the waves. The ad campaign was a big hit, to say the least.

One of the biggest changes to their lives was that Erik sold the La Jolla house. He was paid two times what he shelled out for it and put the money in a trust fund for the children. They would receive half of it at age eighteen when they went to college, and the rest would be given to them on their twenty-first birthday. Now that he had full custody, he made sure the children were set for life so there was no confusion if anything ever happened to him.

Deuce became involved in his school activities and was commissioned by his Principal to paint a new mural for a wall in the lunch area of his school. His futurist idea for the mural was chosen over 200 entries and he was gearing up to paint the wall when he returned from Oakland. Papi was impressed too and asked Deuce to paint a new mural outside of the restaurant on the wall that faced the parking lot.

Sabine ate a quick lunch on the beach as she watched the photographer fiddle with his camera inside the waterproof housing. Stacy came over to Sabine and handed her a small package that was forwarded to her from Spain.

"It's here!" she exclaimed as she pulled out the platinum grill she had customized for herself.

It started off as a joke purchase because she was so in love with the picture of Erik flaunting his grill that hung in his home office. Stacy watched her put them over her teeth after she rinsed her mouth with water.

"Where are you going?" Stacy shouted as Sabine ran back to the water with her board.

"Come on, man. I got some real pictures to take," she said flashing her teeth at the photographer.

"Paulo Danilo," he said.

"Huh?"

"Paulo. My name is Paulo Danilo," he said.

Sabine nodded and flopped on top of her board as Paulo followed behind her in his wetsuit and fins. The waves kicked up and Sabine carved out some nice turns. She skimmed down into a gorgeous tube and Paulo was right there as she ran her fingers against the green wall before he disappeared under a deluge of foamy white water to avoid getting clipped.

When her work was done, she thanked the crew and peeled out of the royal blue Maverick wetsuit she was hawking, and rode off with Stacy to go eat and sleep. The nap didn't last long because she had to catch a flight out of the country.

She was headed to Oakland.

It was time to meet Erik's family.

###

Sabine's mind was kept busy working on her computer as her flight drew near to the West Coast. The year before she had been asked to write her surf blog for Maverick, and now they wanted posts every week instead of once a month. Her latest offering was an update on her Hawaiian seal, Honey, who had been rescued and relocated to her home waters. Word had gotten back to Sabine that Honey was tracked regularly and had some seal pups. The life cycle continued and she posted new pictures of Honey that were sent to her.

As the plane went into its final descent into the Oakland airport, Sabine sat on pins and needles hoping that Erik's family were just as cool as Yvette. She knew from Erik's sister that his mother had concerns about her and Erik's age difference, but that couldn't be helped.

The Anniversary celebration had been postponed until June because of Marina's Nike ad campaign with Erik. It had become so popular that the company wanted more shoots, so her grandparents moved the gathering to the end of the school year so she could travel with Erik.

When Sabine rolled her suitcase down an escalator and saw Erik at the bottom, she started crying.

"What's with the tears?" he asked.

Sabine was tired, nervous, and she missed him.

Throwing her arms around his waist, she pressed her face into his neck and just took in his scent and relaxed into his strong arms.

"I missed you," she murmured.

He wiped her tears away and kissed her nose.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"Don't be."

He held her hand and walked her outside where Yvette was waiting at the arrival pick-up area in a maroon Chrysler 300.

"Hey, Miss thang!" Yvette shouted when Erik opened the front passenger door.

No one else was in the car and Sabine gave a sigh of relief. She climbed into the front seat while Erik tossed her suitcase in the trunk then climbed into the back.

"Okay girl, listen…it is hectic at the house. You and Erik are staying in his old bedroom. All the kids are staying all over the living room and den on blow-up beds. It's packed and wild and everyone can't wait to meet you," Yvette said.

Sabine fed into her energy and felt a little better.

Yvette drove them into East Oakland and when they pulled into the driveway of an upper middle class two-story beige and brick red hacienda style home, Sabine could see the chaos. Tons of kids were running around, BBQ smoke was pouring over the backyard fence making her stomach grumble, and there was music blasting George Benson's "Give Me the Night."

Sabine stepped out of the car and Marina gave the loudest scream that made the adults rush out to see what was wrong. Erik's daughter jumped on Sabine and she scooped the girl up and swung her around. The biggest hug greeted her along with long fluffy curls.

"Finally!" Marina shouted giving Sabine the biggest kiss on her cheek.

"I got here as fast as I could!"

"Not fast enough!"

From the corner of her eye, Sabine saw Deuce and a few of his cousins watching her from the front door. A big smile tugged on the corner of his lips, but he was too cool to greet her like Marina. They spoke a few days earlier but it had been ten days since they were all together. She waved at him and he gave her a head nod.

"Mom, Dad…this is Sabine…Sugar. In-person at last," Erik said.

Erik's mother, Tina, known as Grandma GiGi to everyone, walked out of the house with a wide grin on her face. She was medium height, plump, and wore a sophisticated hairdo that made her look younger than her age. Her hair was dyed auburn with a small patch of white at the roots. She was Erik's color and Sabine saw where he got his lips from. His father, Marlon, was super tall, bulky, dark brown-skinned with big teeth and thick curly salt and pepper hair. They both gave Sabine a hug and she felt welcomed into the fold with genuine affection. There had been video chats and quick phone conversations, but this was her very first face to face with them. Tina walked her into the house and gave names to all the people inside who were friendly but obviously curious about her. The house was warm, filled with wall-to-wall family photos, trophies, and tons of Black porcelain figurines that Tina liked to collect that showed Black cultural touchstones. Black women going to church with grand church crowns. Black women in a beauty shop getting their hair pressed. Cherubic Black angels. Black men in a Negro League baseball game. Black men fishing. Chock full of art, framed college degrees from all the siblings, and framed photos of Erik in his early hey-day surfing, Sabine felt ease wash over her. This home was filled with love and pride just like her own family.

"Hungry?" Tina asked her.

"Starving," Sabine said.

She was led to the dining room where there was food set out all across a long oak table where a few people were still eating.

"Help yourself and get comfortable. We'll be eating all day," Tina said.

Sabine grabbed a sturdy paper plate and piled on tender pork ribs, savory baked beans, and red potato salad. Erik brought her a Coke and she sat down and ate like she hadn't eaten food before in her life. She missed the heavy foods from the U.S.

"Enjoy this now," Erik said and she swatted his arm.

Through the noise of the children playing video games and running in and out of the house, the loud shouts of the male relatives in the backyard watching track and field events, and Yvette fussing with Erik's older brother John-John, Sabine felt comfortable in the chaos.

Belly filled and pushing against her tight pants, she made another plate with different food items. She could smell the obvious stench of simmering chitterlings on the stove and she peeked inside a big pot to see what they looked like.

"Hot sauce is right there if you want some," Deuce said walking in with one of his young cousins close to his age.

Sabine stirred the pot and lifted up the contents. Deuce made a disgusted face.

"Chitlins are nasty," he spat.

Sabine decided to sample it even though she was not a fan. It was well seasoned but a bit chewy for her taste. The hot sauce didn't add anything but heat. She covered it with more beans to hide them on her plate for when she threw them away later. Deuce seemed to be in his element around his father's relatives. He and Erik decided not to tell the family about his paternity while they were there. Deuce didn't want his grandparent's anniversary celebration to be overshadowed by the hidden secret. Sabine knew it still bothered him sometimes to know the truth, but Erik showered him with love every step of the way. Erik told Sabine that he suspected that Deuce was ashamed of who his biological Dad was. All Erik could do was give his son the best life possible to help him dismiss any shame he had about his origins.

After eating a second plate, Sabine walked out into the backyard to find Erik with his male relatives and his other younger sister Letrice. Sabine watched Jamaica smoke the U.S. in a relay race on a TV that was placed on top of a folding table near an open window. The Stevens family was Team Jamaica all the way.

When Sabine grew bored watching the TV, she wandered back into the house. Tina and a few of Erik's Aunts sat on a couch and loveseat sipping beer and gossiping. When they saw Sabine, they insisted that she sit with them. She received the usual inquiries about her background and what she enjoyed about surfing. They commented on her latest Maverick ad as Tina passed around her cell phone to show them the pictures of Sabine in various wetsuits. After a few minutes of chatting and getting to know her, she noticed that they were watching her face carefully. Marina walked through the room with Yvette carrying more sodas from the garage to put into the refrigerator.

"How do you get along with their mother?"

Olivia, Erik's eldest Aunt asked the question with a slick look on her face. Tina looked curious too.

"I don't see her at all anymore so I'm good."

There were smirks and titters and Tina folded her hands on her lap.

"Don't let these hens bother you, Sugar," Tina said.

"I'm not bothered. I really don't interact with her."

"I heard that she introduced you to Erik."

Erik's Aunt Claudia had a wide kind face and her question hung heavy in the room. Sabine wiggled in the side chair she was perched in.

"I was Ma-"

"Nah…y'all not about to grill her. Ask me if you want to know something like that," Erik said.

He stood with a beer in his hand eyeing his Aunts and mother.

"We just want to know how you two met," Claudia said.

"She taught Marina in a surf camp. I met her through Marina."

Sabine kept quiet. Erik's voice was pleasant, but she could tell he didn't want his family thinking anything scandalous. He left the room after giving his mother a "Cool it" look.

"We like you, Sugar. Don't think we're starting anything. We can see you've had a good influence on him," Olivia said.

"He acts less stressed," Tina said patting Sugar's leg.

"It's been an interesting year being together," Sugar said.

"Do you two talk about getting married?" Claudia asked.

"Claudia!" Tina snapped.

"What? Don't act like we're not all sitting here thinking that."

Sabine leaned forward in her seat.

"We haven't talked about anything like that."

"If he asked you would you say yes?" Olivia said.

"Marriage really isn't on my mind right now. I'm trying to get into the Pro circuit—"

"But you do want to get married someday, right?"

"Can we let them enjoy each other? You know good and well he's adjusting to having the children on his own," Tina said.

"He'll want to get married again," Olivia insisted.

"Ohmigod, are you grilling Sugar?" Yvette said.

Erik's sister grabbed Sabine's hand.

"Mama, you know better," Yvette said rolling her eyes at her family.

She dragged Sabine away from the women.

"They have been dying to get into your business since you've been here."

"It's okay."

"They're just happy Erik brought home someone easy going. Calista was not fun to have around and stressed everyone out whenever she came up here. He used to run around after her to make sure she was comfortable with us and it got old quick. They like that you act chill."

Yvette looked around them to make sure they were alone in the kitchen.

"Have you and Erik talked about taking the next step?"

"You are as bad as your Aunts!"

"I can't help it. They brought it up and now I'm curious. I know it's too soon, but at the same time…I guess…I guess I'm happy that you make my ridiculous brother happy. We both know he can be larger than life and a bit much. But…I know he wants to settle down the right way. With someone he loves. I know he loves you dearly…and I look amazing in a bridesmaid dress!"

Sabine threw her arm around Yvette.

"Let's give it some time and put all that on pause."

"I'm an even better maid of honor."

"Stop."

"He's going to ask you one day. You might as well be ready."

Sabine walked back outside to check on Erik. He held his hand out to her from his seat and she went and sat on his lap. He rubbed her back and Sabine could feel the eyes of the women on her for the rest of the evening.

###

"How does it feel?" he asked.

Sabine stroked Erik's chest as they rested on his childhood bed. The room was not what she expected. It was very simple. A queen-sized bed. A cherrywood desk and matching swivel chair. One picture of a 1920s East Coast seascape hung over the bed and one poster picture of the Banzai Pipeline from the 60s. So plain and neat.

Sabine expected posters of all the best surfers or centerfolds of hotties from old Hip Hop magazines. The room really didn't have a personality and this was odd for a man with a personality as big as a house. On his dresser was a small display of scrimshaw under glass protection and a tiny ship in a bottle that was a souvenir from New England.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Being here for a full day."

"Good. I think they really like me."

"They love you," he said kissing down her neck.

"Don't," she said pulling away from him.

"Don't?"

"Your parent's bedroom is right next to this one."

"So?"

"They can hear us."

"No they can't."

"I feel weird doing anything in this house like that."

"Ten days, baby…"

Erik kept kissing her.

"I don't have any condoms with me, so I can get a towel…" he whispered in her ear as he fondled her breasts.

Sabine's arousal was fast. Time and distance made her eager for his fingers all over her, but she pushed back on the idea of sex in his parent's house.

"Let's wait until—"

"I don't want to wait. Been too long. I want to be inside of you."

"This bed squeaks."

"It's old."

Erik stepped off of the bed naked and went to the bedroom closet. He pulled a small thin towel from a shelf and brought it over to the bed.

"Lift up," he whispered.

"Erik, we shouldn't…"

That thing dangling between his legs said otherwise.

"You don't want to? If you don't—"

"I do, but…" she cocked her head toward the wall that separated his parent's room from his.

Erik's bed was right up against it.

"They're sleep."

"They could wake up."

He put his hands on his hips.

"Whatchu want me to do then?"

Sabine slipped down from the bed and got on her knees in front of him. The shag carpet cushioned her kneecaps. She wrapped her fingers around the middle of his erection and kissed the glans. His mouth went lax and he swallowed the soft moan that almost spilled from his mouth. With lips and tongue and tiny nips of her teeth grazing the ridge around his tip, Sabine reintroduced herself to her man's dick. Her clit thumped each time Erik stifled a groan by biting his lip and glaring down at her face as her eyes stayed on his. When she dipped the tip of her tongue in his slit a soft, "Ohhhh" left his throat.

"Shh, we can't do this if you get loud, Erik."

His fingers threaded her hair and he guided her throat around his dick.

"Fuck I missed you," he hummed.

Erik pulled out from her mouth and lifted her onto the bed pulling the towel under her backside. Sabine lifted her legs and rested them on his arms.

"Quiet," Sabine said as Erik groaned plunging into her slick opening.

Erik dropped his chest close to hers as his penetration was slow and calculated to create the least amount of bed shaking. He tried his best not to make the bed squeak any louder than it already did as Sabine braced her back. It was no use. The thrusting from his hips and the joining of their bodies made too much noise.

Her knees knocked together when he shifted to sink into her balls deep and she pushed her hands against his firm stomach. The soft line of hairs that led down to his groin from under his belly button was slick with perspiration and her flowing juices.

"This isn't working," she complained and he lifted her up once more.

Sabine clutched onto his back and stared at it from the door length mirror that reflected all his muscles moving from the closed bedroom door. The tiny brown lamp on the nightstand across from them gave a soft glow to Erik's skin. He lifted her higher as he thrust up into her, and Sabine's eyes watched his ass clench and unclench working to give her all of his hot length as he lifted her up and down. His calves flexed, his thighs tightened and she felt tingling pleasure ripple across her flushed skin as he took her with harsh grunts. Circling her arms around his neck, she hooked her ankles together and accepted the hardness pressing inside her walls. There was a beauty on the nape of his thick neck, the width of his shoulders, and the definition all across his chiseled wide back.

"Fuck…Erik…!"

Sabine gasped and tried not to hold her breath from the searing heat stretching her pussy. It was torturous not being able to shout the way she could when they made love alone, and the hard gurgling pants erupting from her mouth couldn't be controlled.

Sweat pooled along her neck and dripped down her back and fell from her breasts from the body heat flaring out from Erik's undulating form. The pressure against her clit piercing forced her to chomp down on her lips as her vaginal walls spasmed around his dick.

"I feel you cumming on me, Sugar," he hissed in her ear as she bit his shoulder to keep from screaming.

The shivers from her body slowed and he gently placed her back on the bed. She held her legs up and open for him as he sank into her and gave her a few more long strokes before he pulled out and fisted his glans.

"Hmmmmmphhh!" he groaned out loud.

Sabine watched white hot ropes of cum spurt all over her stomach. Erik rested his tip against her clit and twisted his fingers around the swollen head forcing the rest of his semen onto her jeweled bud covering it completely. She saw another small spurt jet out from his slit and dangle there for a second before dropping onto her wrecked folds.

They both heard movement in the next room and Sabine smacked his shoulder hard.

"They heard us," she complained.

Erik handed her the towel and helped her clean up his release. His eyes took in all the semen he drenched her with. His chuckle was playful as they both wiped up the pretty mess he made.

"That was a lot. Been saving up for your ass."

His dick was at a half salute and he squeezed the tip again to make sure he got everything out. He stretched his back.

"Fuck that was good," he groaned before taking the towel away and tossing it in a tight bundle on a side chair.

They crawled onto the bed closer to the headboard together and kissed for a long time until he was hard again. He tried nudging her to ride his length, but she denied him. Someone in the next room left it to go to the restroom down the hall.

"Hop on this dick, girl."

"I said no. We already have your parents up."

"Then jerk me off. You made me get like this. You gotta fix it. I want to eat your pussy but you won't let me. At least play with my dick."

"Keep your mouth shut," she begged.

Erik pressed his lips together and she curled her hand around his dick. It was so hot in her grasp. He was an inferno the moment he stepped into the bedroom with her. She gripped him good with long hard strokes so that the bottom of her fist smacked his balls.

"Got me so hard…" he whispered.

Erik squeezed her breasts and manipulated her nipple piercings making her clit stay swollen. His thick fingers dropped down and tugged on her there before dipping down between her thighs and fingering her with sweet deft touches. Her wetness coated his fingers making them slip tight against her walls when he pressed in deeper.

Sabine lowered her face down his midsection and curled her tongue around his frenulum, teasing the sensitive skin just under the cap of his glans.

"Suck that dick, girl…damn…."

Her head bobbed and his groans grew louder. She tried to peel her lips away to tell him to quiet down, but his strong hand pushed her down forcefully, making her throat work even harder for him.

"Fuck…fuck…fuck…" he huffed as he ejaculated in her mouth.

"Erik, people trying to sleep."

Sabine froze with semen all over her lips as Erik's father's voice boomed through the wall behind them.

Erik didn't respond and Sabine buried her head in his thigh filled with embarrassment. They both stayed in the same position for a full five minutes before Erik's body began to shake with laughter.

"Shhhh!" she protested.

Erik grabbed a pillow and threw it over his face while his body shook even harder.

Mortified, Sabine curled up into a ball under the covers facing away from him. When his laughter subsided, he spooned her and stroked her cheek.

"I can't face them tomorrow," she whispered.

"Don't even worry about it."

She turned around to look at him and hated the wide grin she saw on his face.

Erik fell asleep before she did and she spent most of the night fretting about facing Marlon Stevens.

When the colors of the sky began to lighten from black to blue, to pale magenta ushering in a new day, Sabine and Erik awoke to the sound of knocking against the wall behind them. She stared up at Erik's face and he gave her a gummy smile and reached behind them rapping his knuckles hard against the headboard.

"Aye, Daddy… people tryna sleep," Erik called out.

Sabine slapped his chest and covered her mouth to keep her laughter from filling the room.

###

Erik released the bowling ball in his hand and watched it wobble awkwardly down the waxed lane. It slipped from his fingers and he could hear his family clowning him, especially Deuce and his five nephews whose loud cackles pushed against his back.

He turned around once the ball rolled into the gutter.

"Need the gutter guards?" Tina called to him.

Erik saw his mother and Aunts sitting in the back sipping beer and laughing at him.

"All that big talk and you choked!" Sugar teased.

She stood in the next lane with her bowling ball resting on her hip.

"Just go," he said and that made everyone bust up again.

He watched her take her turn and she knocked down eight pins. When his blue sparkly bowling ball popped back up from the return chute, he let his fingers rest over the hand dryer to help his moist fingers gain a little more holding power.

"Mess up again, Dad!" Deuce heckled.

Erik raised the bowling ball to his face and thrust his arm back throwing a nice fast roll. They all heard the crack of the pins as a loud strike redeemed him.

"Now what? Huh?!" he said raising his hands.

Deuce and his nephews waved off his success as they waited for their turns.

The family reserved four lanes and so many relatives came out that it took time to cycle through turns. Marina was on Sugar's team and he watched his daughter go up next. The bowling ball she chose was way too heavy for her, but it was neon pink with white sparkly stars and she insisted on using it. She ended up just rolling it with both hands and actually did pretty good, knocking over six pins.

"We're beating you!" Marina yelped clapping her hands.

Erik glanced at the scoreboard. His mother's team was in the lead, followed by his father's. Erik's team with Yvette was in last place even though he and his sister were the best bowlers.

"I'm carrying my whole team. Have some respect!" he joked.

Marina smirked and rolled her pick-up turn, knocking down only a single pin.

The entire day had been fun and after their bowling outing, they were all heading out to an all-you-can-eat buffet at a five-star hotel to celebrate Tina and Marlon's marriage. Everyone would be leaving back home the next day, and Erik looked forward to flying home with his family and Sugar. They would have two weeks together before he had to fly out for another competition. Sugar would be leaving a couple of days before him.

Erik floated thinking about how accepting his family was with Sugar. His mother had given concern in the beginning. She told him it was too soon to be with anyone new. Too soon to introduce his children to another woman. He thought his mother was worried that he would turn into his brother and create a new family with new babies soon after jumping out of one relationship. John-John juggled two baby mamas and his parents were not happy about it. They didn't want Erik making the same mistake so fast after a contentious two years of escaping Calista.

Sugar's age didn't sit well with his mother either. She worried about so many things that he was pleased when she finally settled in with Sugar being a permanent fixture in his life.

That's what he wanted.

A long-term relationship with her. He still felt like he was courting her because of their erratic schedules and Erik wanted to spend more quality time with her and the children together. They all grew closer since Calista moved to Burbank, the distance between his ex-wife and Sugar creating a buffer of comfort for his woman. He stayed mindful of her feelings about carving out as much time with her alone as he could, and she accepted that there were things beyond his control when he couldn't, especially when it came to Deuce and Marina.

His love for her had deepened and he even found himself thinking of a future as more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. More than a lover.

A real partnership.

Erik didn't let marriage cross his mind too much because he was fresh from a bad one. But Sugar made him see what a good bonding could create. The day before she arrived in Oakland, he sat in his old bedroom looking at wedding bands online. Just daydreaming and thinking about silly things like where he would take her if they had a honeymoon.

He knew it was too soon. He just like imagining a future with her.

Bowling was a smashing success and the dinner afterward was just as entertaining. When they returned to his parent's home the Stevens clan presented Tina and Marlon with a big fancy cake and expensive gifts. His mother cried. His father acted stoic as usual. It was the perfect weekend and Erik was on another joyful high flying home.

Deuce started painting the mural at his school, and while Marina and Sugar surfed together, Erik used his personal downtime to work at the surf shop and shape new boards. He grew accustomed to the new life he was creating…spoiled even. Even Calista's pilot TV show was a smash, and he watched it with the kids while eating popcorn and guzzling soda. Sugar watched it with them, and she stayed pretty quiet throughout.

Calista was indeed made for the show. She looked amazing. Healthy. Talking about modeling, giving out advice to young designers, and demonstrating modeling techniques to newcomers showed what she was good at. Erik could imagine her opening her own modeling agency or being a professional mentor. He had high praise for his ex and the kids were thrilled with how powerful their mother looked on TV.

Calista sent him money for child support, something he didn't ask for. He just added it to their trust fund, but it gave her a sense of being a provider too. He wondered how they would've been had he met this new Calista in the beginning. Would they have stayed together?

He tossed the thought aside. Life had an order and way of unfolding that he just had to embrace. There was no need to think, What if? The past was the past. Sugar was his future.

On a lazy Saturday, Erik stood in the surf shop laying down colored resin on top of a new shortboard he crafted from an idea Sugar gave him. He spent the morning training with Bruce and wanted to finish up two boards that just needed color and his logo added to them.

His cell phone buzzed just as he finished one good coat on a board.

"Hey," he said pulling down his protective mask.

"Marina is acting weird."

Deuce's voice had a slight inflection of concern. Whatever it was, it was important enough for his son to call him.

"Weird how?"

"She won't come out of her room. Mom called. So we all talked to her."

"All of you?"

"Yeah. Sugar got on the phone and told Mom congrats about her show and then went to get our deep dish pizza from Mario's after we got off the phone. I went to eat ice cream in dining room. When I was done, she was upstairs. I thought she was just playing with her dolls, but she's just on her bed."

"Is she sick?"

"No. She won't say anything. Not even to Sugar."

Erik looked at his watch then stared at the board he wasn't finished with.

"I'm going to put another coat on this board I'm finishing up and then I'll be back at the house. If anything changes, call me or have Sugar call me."

Erik stared at his cell after he finished the call.

His mind went back to finishing his task, and the moment he was done, he cleaned up and returned home.

A half-eaten giant pizza was still in its box on the kitchen island waiting for him to take his share of extra cheese, sausage, olives, and mushrooms. He was shocked to see that there was still a lot of pizza left.

"Hey Deuce," he said.

His son raised his head up from the sectional in the family room.

"Where's Marina?"

"She never came out of her room."

"Did she eat?"

"Nope."

"Has she said anything to anyone about what's wrong?"

"Nope."

Erik kicked off his shoes and climbed up the stairs. Sugar stood in Marina's doorway. When she saw Erik's face, relief washed over hers.

"I don't know what's going on with her. She won't talk to me or Deuce. She didn't eat and I know she was hungry for pizza when I called the place."

"Did something go left with the call with Calista?"

"No. Everything was good. I hopped on the phone to be nice. I told her that her show was very entertaining and she was very good as a co-host."

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, Muffin."

It took a long time for Marina to turn her head to look at him. He stepped into her room and walked over to her big canopy blue and white Princess bed.

"What's wrong baby girl?"

Marina's eyes looked past him at Sugar.

"Talk to me," he pleaded.

Her eyes welled up and she buried her face in his lap.

"You have to tell me what's wrong so I can help you."

She shook her head and her body trembled.

Erik turned to look at Sugar and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Can we eat some pizza together?" he asked.

She shook her head.

Sugar left the doorway to give them privacy.

"We're alone. Do you want to tell me something in private?"

Her body trembled and she just wept in his arms.

Erik held her until she fell asleep. He tucked her under the covers and crept downstairs quietly. Sugar and Deuce sat on the sectional and their faces showed great concern when they saw him.

"I can't get anything out of her. Deuce, what exactly did you all talk about on the phone? She was fine before the call, right?"

"Yeah. Mom called the landline, I answered it. I called Marina to the phone. Sugar was sitting right next to us when we all talked."

"Nothing weird was said or I would've heard it, Erik. That landline is loud," Sugar insisted.

"We got done talking. Sugar left. I went to eat ice cream. She was in here watching TV."

"Did something come on TV to upset her?"

"It's the cartoon network, Dad."

"She didn't want to eat and we ordered her favorite pizza," Sugar lamented.

"Well, she's asleep now. Maybe she'll tell us when she wakes up. I just don't get it."

Erik sat next to Sugar wringing his hands together.

"Go eat something," Sugar said.

Erik went into the kitchen and grabbed a large slice of pizza and heated it in the microwave. He ate at the dining room table, but he could barely taste anything. Cleaning off his plate in the sink, he returned to the family room to check on Deuce. His son was playing a video game and Sugar was on her laptop. It looked like she was working on her Maverick blog because her face was scrunched up in deep concentration.

Heading back to the second floor, Erik checked in on Marina again. She had shifted her body in her sleep and he could see her face with the nightlight ladybug on her nightstand. His daughter was not having a restful slumber. He sat next to her and stroked her forehead. Sugar peeked in on them again.

"Still sleeping?" she whispered.

He nodded and adjusted the blankets around Marina. Stepping over to Sugar, Erik put an arm around her waist.

"I feel like I should call Calista," he said.

"I don't know what she could tell you that Deuce and I didn't."

"Surfing was good with you two?"

"It was fine. She worked on her 360s and we talked about getting a new leash for her board."

Erik spent the rest of his evening reading in his office before he turned in. Sugar was already tucked under the covers fast asleep.

The next morning didn't bring improvement in Marina's behavior. She joined them for breakfast with a blank face as she picked over the eggs and bacon Sugar fixed for everyone. Deuce did his best to engage her with talk about their upcoming trip to Rio to see Erik compete in Brazil. Everyone was thrilled to go because Sugar made arrangements for Marina to meet Belmira who was on fire on the Women's Pro circuit. There were plans to surf together and have a girl's day of shopping, lunch, and showing Marina the world of Pro women in the sport.

Marina's lack of enthusiasm was worrying and she spoke in halting sentences when she did answer anything, but it was her behavior toward Sugar that was ominous. She wouldn't speak to her at all.

Sugar cracked jokes, asked questions about what Marina wanted to do the rest of the day and his daughter just stared at her plate and broke her bacon up into tiny bits. She stuck a few pieces in her mouth as Sugar rattled off things they could all do and it was like she was speaking to a brick wall. Eventually, Sugar gave up and put away her plate leaving them in the dining room.

"Baby girl, that was rude—"

"Can I go to my room?" she whispered.

"What's up with you?" Deuce said, his face perplexed and leaning toward being annoyed.

"Can I go to my room?"

"Do you want any more food?"

"No."

"Okay. Go on up. I want to talk to you later," Erik said.

He watched her leave the table without putting away her plate.

Deuce shrugged his shoulders at Erik.

"I tried talking to her when she got up, but she just refused to say anything," Deuce said.

He reached over and snagged the uneaten eggs on Marina's plate.

It grew worse.

The day progressed and still, there was no change.

A day later…the same.

Erik made an appointment with Marina's old child therapist when a week went by and there was no improvement. He decided not to call Calista because he didn't want her to lose focus on her new job. She was about to fly to New York to tape episodes of her show that had been picked up by the Bravo network. Deuce and Sugar were adamant that there was nothing overt that they witnessed that set Marina on the selective mute behavior. Sugar was feeling the brunt of Marina's silence. His daughter would still say a few sentences to him or Deuce, but she cut Sugar off completely.

On the day of Marina's therapy session, the therapist was unable to crack his daughter's newly created shell. He was told that she cried a bit and when she was asked to draw her immediate family with crayons and art paper, Marina drew Erik, Deuce, her mother, and even Cedro and Belinda at the taqueria. But Sugar was drawn small and far away from the rest of the family grouping.

Erik stared at the drawing himself.

He recognized the figures for each person that was important in her life. She had placed herself near her mother with Erik flanking her other side. Next to Erik was Deuce, and behind Deuce was Cedro and Belinda. At the very far right of the paper, with a three-inch gap between the next family member was a likeness of Sugar on a surfboard. She was drawn half the size of everyone else. The only other thing that was odd about the picture was that Marina had drawn herself without a mouth.

"How could this happen so suddenly? I don't understand it. She was completely fine and then…just like that, she's shutting us out. Especially Sugar."

Dr. Marks had introspective hazel eyes and her angular face was tilted as she looked at the drawing in his hand.

"She has great affection for Sugar."

"She told you that?"

"Not with words. Head nods. The look in her eyes. Sometimes there are things that have happened in the past that finally come to the surface suddenly."

"I can't think of anything—"

"Have they ever had an argument? A serious disagreement?"

Erik tried to think of anything in the last few weeks that would stand out.

"We've been through so much as a family—"

"With Deuce and his mother…"

"Yes. I thought we had turned a corner into something good now that we have dealt with that…but now…it doesn't make sense to me or anyone."

"What has Calista had to say about this?"

Erik put down the picture.

"I haven't told her yet. I wanted to wait until you saw Marina first so I could have some information to give her."

"Talk to Calista. Have her speak to Marina. Maybe there's something going on that Calista can shed insight on."

"We've come so far as a family."

"And you'll keep going far. Be gentle with her. Allow her to communicate as she sees fit for now."

"If there's something going on with her feelings with Sugar, how do I deal with that? How does Sugar deal with that? It's so uncomfortable watching them together. Sugar does her best to be open and it hurts to see Marina push her away."

"Tell Sugar to keep being open. We'll work on teasing out the problem at Marina's pace. If this is her way of processing a hurt or a slight, then she'll guide us. I'll meet with Sugar tomorrow and work with her on tools to cope and help with Marina."

"Okay."

Erik drove home with Marina and he took her to their favorite ice cream spot and bought her a sundae. She ate it and he was glad that she finished the entire thing. Her appetite had improved within the week, but there was so much he missed about her in that week. Her smile. Her laughter. Her special bond with Sugar.

Marina only surfed with Erik in the morning. If Sugar was out in the water early, she would wait until she came out before she went with Erik or Deuce.

Another week went by and Calista flew down to San Diego during a break in taping and the three of them went to lunch with Marina. The girl's attitude improved seeing her mother and Calista tried to pry clues out of her. But Marina's eyes went to Erik's and he saw the shimmer of unshed tears there. She grew quiet again and remained silent for the rest of the meal. They returned to the house and Sugar was gone. Deuce returned from working at the taqueria and the four of them watched television and a strain was on Erik's face the entire time.

During a commercial break when Erik went to the restroom, Calista cornered him near the garage door.

"Where is Sugar?"

"I don't know."

"We should talk to her. All of us."

Erik didn't like the tone of Calista's voice.

"I'm not accusing her of anything Erik. I just want to hear what she has to say about everything myself."

Erik texted Sugar but she didn't respond.

"What does Yvette think?"

"Yvette can't get anything from her either—"

"Something is wrong in this house, Erik. A child doesn't just stop talking out of the blue. You have her under your care full time and it started here…whatever this thing is that has our daughter acting like…a zombie. Jesus Christ. She's like a damn robot—"

"Don't say that about her. She's stuck in something—"

"When I see the therapist with her, I'll get to the bottom of this—"

"Don't take on that attitude. That's not helpful at all."

"Maybe I should keep her with me in Burbank. Rachel is there with me. She can be with Marina while I tape. I could maybe have Muffin be with me on set for a day or two just to get her in a new headspace."

Erik's jaw tightened.

"I'm not trying to take her away, I just think maybe a new environment may help her get back to herself. It's worth a try. Just for a few days. I'll be in L.A. for the next two weeks. Let me have her for five days. I tape for two, and then she and I can have a weekend together. Deuce can be with us too if he wants to come."

"I don't know."

"We have to do something. Try something. I can't stand seeing her this quiet…"

Calista wiped tears from her face and took a step back from Erik to get her thoughts together. Erik checked his phone again. Sugar sent a simple text. She was at the movies and wanted to have some alone time while he was with Calista and Marina. Five minutes later she sent another text that she was going to spend the night at Asia's apartment.

Erik felt a sick heaviness resting in his belly.

"I'll take you and Marina to the hotel now if you want."

"Okay. I'll go get her.

Calista left him to go retrieve their daughter. Erik felt the weight of the world on his shoulders again.

###

Sabine couldn't take it anymore.

No matter what she did at the house, nothing changed the situation there. One morning as she carried her surfboard toward the patio, she saw Marina sitting on the little side bench playing with her dolls. Sabine opened the gate and gave the girl a normal wide smile, doing her best to act the way she had always acted around her.

For a moment, there was a flicker of something in Marina's eyes as she watched Sabine move toward the front door. The look on the child's face told Sabine there was still affection for her there. For a moment, Marina looked the way she did when Sabine first met Erik in person. There was pain there. Misery.

"Marina…we can talk when I come to Rio…we'll have fun, okay? You and me and Belmira…"

Marina's eyes darted back to her dolls and she clutched them to her waist.

Erik walked outside looking for her.

"You ready?" he asked Marina.

She nodded and carried her dolls over to her father.

"Go on and wait with Deuce and Yvette," he told her.

"Bye baby shark," Sabine called out.

Marina gave a wave to her and left Erik's side. He strolled up to Sabine and touched her waist.

"See you in two days," he said kissing her cheek.

Sabine shook her head. It was no use.

"I'm not going to come out there."

"What? Why not?"

Sabine felt a lump grow in her throat.

"I don't know what to do…or how to act anymore. I can feel this tension when we're all together and I see how it stresses you out and you don't need that pressure while you're competing. She does better when I'm not around—"

"Baby, I need you around—"

"I need your daughter to get well, and she won't with me there-"

"Sugar—"

"Don't worry, Belmira will meet with her there. I'll make sure of that at least. She can still have a fun day with her and Yvette."

Erik shook his head and poked his lips out.

"This wasn't the plan."

"I don't have the energy anymore, Erik. I walk on eggshells every day and I'm spent. I need to recharge."

He stroked her arms.

"Just take a few days and fly out later," he cajoled.

She looked away from his face.

"Sugar."

"What did I do?"

Sabine shoved her hands against her chest and tried to keep her face from crumbling into a sloppy mess of tears, but the rush of emotion exhausted her attempts to hold it together. Erik hugged her and she rested her fingers on his chest.

"I see how you look at me, Erik. You wonder what I've done too—"

"She has changed with everyone—"

"That's not true. It's me. It's me! I wish I knew what I did so I could fix this for everyone!"

Erik shushed her tears and murmured in her ear trying to soothe her but it didn't work.

"I'm scared to ask her anything anymore…I don't know what to do…tell me what to do…"

"Just keep being you baby—"

Sabine pushed away from him.

"Go to the airport before you all miss your flight."

"I don't want to leave you like this."

She waved her hand at him and put her board down. Leaving the patio, she had to get away from him and the house and the whole entire situation. Erik ran up to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Be still. Sugar, be still, lemme hold you before I go."

She went limp against him and hid her face in his shoulder.

"Go, Erik. I'll get it together. Hurry up."

She pushed him back toward the house.

"I'm going to take a walk. Clear my head. Call me when you land."

He kissed her cheek and then her lips and she allowed him to cradle her face before he released her. His eyes looked weary.

"We'll talk later," he said.

He held her hand then kissed it. She nudged him to head toward the garage watching him walk away. She turned quickly and headed down the boardwalk.

###

The tequila ran down her chin as she choked on it while laughing.

Arms thrown in the air, Sabine shook her hips and let her hair bounce around her face. It was getting so long that it could no longer hold a full shape anymore. Belmira held the freshly opened bottle of premium liquor to her lips again and Sabine chugged down more liquid heat down her greedy throat and gasped afterward.

Squeezing her eyes tight, she screamed loud and long and Yolanda cackled next to her ear as Asia popped her fingers and grabbed the tequila from Belmira. Tadpole threw his body around wearing a flower crown on his head. The birthday boy was having the time of his life and he picked Sabine up and swung her around.

"Best party ever, Sugar!" Tadpole shouted.

Hard-edged electronica played throughout the Indonesian club and Sabine cut loose like she hadn't done in months. The joy of hard partying. The joy of being with friends she hadn't been with in a long time. The joy of getting away from emotional stress.

She snapped pictures and posed for many and her body thrummed with good vibes.

She didn't go to Rio and Erik was upset.

He tried to hold back his anger over a video chat and she did her best to deflect by saying she wanted what was best for Marina.

The truth was, she was scared.

She worried that Erik would ask her to leave him because of Marina. To counter that, she stayed away. Made excuses to fly to France for work when she was really hiding out with friends. If she appeared busy, then she didn't have to be in their home inflicting pain. She could see it was draining Deuce too, and it was easier to go away and allow Erik's children to breathe.

"You didn't even consider my feelings at all!"

His face was twisted in anger that he was trying to dampen for her sake as he stared at her on the computer screen.

"I did, Erik. It's better if you have a fun little vacation with your family—"

"You're a part of my family, girl."

"I watched you win online. You were amazing—"

"I don't want to talk about that, Sugar. I wanted you to be there to see me win. I wanted all three of you there together. You keep acting like it's us and then you are just some extra—"

"I'm sorry. I thought I was making the trip easier for them and you without…fuck Erik."

Her eyes dropped to the keyboard and she rubbed the side of her thigh. She was sitting on a luxury bed with a bucket of champagne on ice for him. She reached over and picked up the chill slightly damp bottle along with a champagne flute.

"I got this for you," she whispered.

"We should've had that here, together."

His eyes darted around and his lids blinked rapidly.

"Are the kids enjoying themselves?"

Her voice was filled with trepidation.

"They like it here. It's different for them. Deuce is amazed at how many Black people are here. He said it feels like Atlanta."

Sabine laughed and Erik responded to the sound of her breathy release.

"You should be here. I want them to see it through your eyes too."

The video chat ended with Sabine feeling awful and she regretted answering the notification when she first heard it.

The tequila made her tumble into Gato Pete and Esmee and Sabine threw out her hands to hug them both and just love up on her Bad Cat crew. She was overjoyed that so many of her international friends flew to Indo just to party with her and celebrate one of her long time friends. Tadpole was over the clouds feeling the surf love all around him. They were her water people.

Esmee reached out to grab Sabine's neck and she missed, her fingers sliding down the tiny bikini top Sabine had on. The miscalculated grab snapped the fastener on the front of the top and Sabine's breasts were exposed. Everyone laughed and Sabine grabbed the top as it fell down to her side. Belmira and Gato Pete snapped photos and Sabine threw up her hands proudly as she shimmied next to Yolanda throwing back her shoulders.

She sipped more tequila and tossed her head back to let the music wash over her.

"Oh, shit…Sugar…"

Asia raised her phone to Sabine's face.

Gato Pete's post of her topless racked up retweets and repostings on social media. She felt her own phone vibrate in the tiny shorts she had on. Pulling out her cell, she saw comments about her nipple piercings and saw in real-time the numbers rolling up on likes and repostings of the photo. Some random follower posted up a side-by-side picture of Sabine partying topless and the ad photo of her surfing through a tube with her grill. There was a caption under the pictures stating that she was a real one.

She shook her ass again and waved her phone around as her breasts jiggled. That didn't last long when Stacy came running up grabbing her bikini top from her hand and forcing her to put it back on.

"What are you doing?" Sabine slurred.

"Delete that Pete!" Stacy barked.

Gato Pete twirled around Esmee ignoring Stacy. The music drowned out Stacy's continued protests.

"Sugar! You can't have shit like this out there. It's bad for your image!"

"Relax," Sabine shouted kissing Stacy on the mouth to shut her up.

"Don't fuck up your bag!"

Sabine fastened her bikini top and turned her back on Stacy. The club began to spin a little bit and she leaned up against Asia to gain her balance as she moved toward their table to sit down and catch her breath.

Stacy stood in front her grim-lipped and pissed off.

"Make him delete that picture!"

Sabine waved her cell at Pete and he nodded, swiping his finger across his phone.

"See he deleted it," Sabine spat out waving Stacy away from blocking her view of everyone else.

Stacy plopped down next to her.

"Fuck. People already screenshot it," Stacy whined.

Sabine's phone vibrated again.

Erik.

Sabine closed her eyes.

She could already hear what he was going to say.

Stacy stared at her cell screen.

"People are tagging Maverick with the picture."

"You know how many times I've been topless? With pictures?"

"This isn't UCSD, Sugar! That's your fucking employer."

Sabine's phone shook on her thigh again.

"Hey…"

"What are you doing?"

His voice was calm.

"I'm speaking to you from the future," she joked looking at her watch. She was fifteen hours ahead of California.

"Sugar. That picture—"

"You stalking me?"

"I can barely catch you these days with all your traveling. Baby, this is not the thing to be doing—"

"Damn…you've had your dick all across the internet when you started out. Didn't wreck your career. I look good too."

"It's different for women. I know that's wrong but that's just how it is." " I'm the female you…that's what they want. I'm giving it to them…"

She started laughing and it was jarring to him.

"You're drunk."

"I am."

"You're supposed to be resting. No liquor. No heavy foods. I know you. You'll burn yourself out partying too hard."

"I want to dance my blues away."

She stood up with her phone to her ear on wobbly legs.

"Finish your night and go to bed. Then come back to me. Deuce misses you—"

"I know Marina doesn't."

"Sugar…please. She does. She just can't express it right now."

"I don't want to come back…"

Sabine fell down on the couch and held her left hand to her cheek. Stacy only stared at the dance floor while checking her own phone each time it buzzed.

"Don't say that, girl. I know you're hurting about it, but staying away won't help us."

"I don't want to talk right now—"

"You need to talk to me. Switch over to video chat so I can see your face—"

She swiped her phone hanging up and switched over to the video app.

"You are lit," he said.

"It's a celebration."

"I need you back here. Come home and we'll get back on track together—"

Belmira grabbed her phone.

"Killmonger! Sugar is having fun and we're going to go nuts on the waves tomorrow and then it's off to Rio-"

Sabine snatched her phone back. She turned away from her friends.

"What are you doing, Sugar?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Don't do that. You couldn't go to Rio with us but you can go after—"

"Can we talk another time?"

"When?"

"Can't I just have this little bit of release? Huh? I just want to have a break from training and just chill for a fucking minute! Just one fucking minute!"

"Fine."

His eyes looked offscreen.

"Have fun."

"Erik—"

"Talk to you later."

He disappeared from her screen and she could feel the vomit rolling up her throat as her mouth watered and her body purged liquid that smelled like the top-shelf tequila she consumed.

Sabine threw up all over the floor and Stacy jumped up on the couch protecting her legs as Belmira laughed and reached down to hold back her hair. Peeking out through watery eyes and a runny nose, Sabine stood up fast then puked again.

Gato Pete doubled over with laughter along with Tadpole and the sound of his high-pitched cackles made her giggle even as the sour taste of vomit coated her tongue and assailed her nostrils.

She had no idea it would the last time she heard Pete's laughter like that.

Sabine was in the future on a Thursday as Erik and his children were still in the day before based on her placement on the globe at that moment. Seeing Erik's face, hearing Erik's voice in a man-made past wasn't enough for her to avoid what came for her a mere eight hours later.

Pete reached for her hand and pulled her to her unsteady feet and Sabine shook her hips and popped her fingers and forgot about everything back in Mission Beach.


	44. Up With People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine tries to forget her problems at home...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting there!

"And of the sweet sweet soul  
Let's be certain  
Of the deliberate monologue  
As sure as if it will fall  
Across you  
Unto you  
Will most certainly leave the doing undone

Come on undone"

Lambchop (Zero 7 Re-Mix) – "Up With People"

Sabine and her crew were all still hungover from the previous hours they had all been up partying, but they hired drivers anyway to drive them to a spot Tadpole wanted to go try out.

Tadpole bounced in the seat next to Sabine, his eyes bloodshot and his breath smelling of weed and poor hygiene since he arrived in Indo. "Maria Tambien" by Khruangbin played on her MP3 player and she bobbed her head to her favorite band for surfing music as she watched lush trees and flowers of Nusa Penida island roll past her eyes. The beauty of the scenery didn't make up for the crappy roads they drove over. The roads away from the main paved ones were horrible. She worried they would get a flat. Sunken potholes. Sharp rocks. Sabine also saw a lot of trash from tourism piled up on the sides of the road. She hoped there wasn't stuff like that floating in the water. It seemed to grow worse in Indo with so many travelers wanting to go there year after year. Even the locals complained about the growing refuse. It angered Sabine.

They reached a point in the trip where they had to hike with their boards.

The sun felt like a hot stone in the sky and Sabine walked with her board on top of her head as small pebbles in the dirt path found loose spaces under her sandaled feet. Belmira led the way and in a scant twenty minutes, they were all staring at big waves breaking on a short shoreline.

"Fantastic!" Tadpole shouted as he kicked off his sneakers and pulled off his shirt.

Sabine kicked off the yellow rayon shorts she had on and adjusted her crocheted light-blue bikini top. She had a few aches and pains in her lower back and side from sleeping on the floor in the hotel when she was too drunk to reach the bed.

Standing at the edge of the water, she watched Gato Pete, Esmee, Yolanda, Tadpole, Asia, Ramelan, and Belmira paddle out. Her stomach lurched and Sabine vomited up the bit of chicken porridge she ate before they left their hotel in a hurry. She kicked sand over the mess and actually felt a bit woozy when the sour odor hit her nostrils and stayed in the back of her throat. Picking up her board she allowed clean salty beach air to revive her senses before she stepped her toes into cooling liquid.

Sabine's skin felt itchy and dry even as she sliced her arms through the water. She lined up with the others and watched Tadpole and Ramelan take off, followed by Belmira. Studying their moves, she tried to observe the direction the waves broke onto the shore, something she should've done before she paddled out. The soft lift of her board eased her into focus and she relaxed long enough to get a feel of the sets coming in.

When it was her turn to catch a wave, she wobbled a bit on her pop up but prevented herself from falling by bending her knees extra low. Her friends yelled their support as she cruised along the lip of a six-footer. Her balance was way off when she tried to lean into a tight pocket. She fell and kept her body in a tight ball as she went under like Belmira and Ramelan warned them all to do with the large corral reef bed beneath them. The water roared over her head and she popped back up in time to see a few jet skis roar across whitewater twenty feet away from her.

Above her, she saw two drones flying and she wondered who was controlling them because she didn't remember seeing anyone on the nearly secluded beach with one. She hoped the images didn't go out far because she liked the spot and didn't want hordes of surfers running to it in the future. Sabine and the others had sworn secrecy to Belmira and Ramelan that they would tell no one of the spot once they returned home. The surf there was only good during early morning tides during the dry season

The next set of waves brought her better rides and Sabine was able to kick out quickly when she needed to in order to get back onto the line faster. She cursed herself for not braiding up her hair. The constant wiping it back from her eyes was annoying.

Bomb after bomb dropped and it was exhilarating. The best non-pressure surfing Sabine had done in months. Paddle. Ride. Kick out. Repeat.

Three hours went by and her mind and heart were full of joy watching Tadpole live his best life in a place he always wanted to visit. He didn't seem to care that he spent half his time falling and giggling. The waves grew bigger and a bit rougher, and by the time the sun had shifted positions a few times, Asia, Ramelan, Yolanda, Esmee, and Belmira had called it quits. Gato Pete, Tadpole, and Sabine were the only people of their party on the water still out battling the waves that had swelled to over twelve feet in sets of four at a time. The sour taste was still lodged in the back of Sabine's throat, and her eyes endured pressure from the back of her head.

Tadpole snagged a big boy and Sabine wasn't able to paddle fast enough to hit the other side of it. She watched Tadpole ride the lip before he fell. Laughing at her boy, she saw him shake a fist at her as he made his way back.

"Heads up!" Gato Pete shouted.

Sabine whipped her head around to see how much time she had to move, but a wave lifted her up and dropped her before she could take advantage with a fast paddle. Her eyes gazed down at the beautiful greenish-blue water and she made a promise to go snorkeling before she left the island. Tadpole and Gato Pete spent time trash talking to each other and Sabine closed her eyes to help herself push through a sudden wave of nausea that overtook her. Thankfully, she didn't throw up again and she thought it was time to go in and drink some fluids. Her body felt like she had lost too many electrolytes and needed replenishing.

For the first time in hours, she thought of Killmonger.

Erik was probably pissed at her. She hadn't bothered to check her phone after speaking to him. Stacey refused to go surfing with them so Sabine had no idea if Erik was trying to reach her to get to Sabine, or if even Maverick was hunting her down because of the titty pictures.

She wanted to have her fun in peace, but the moment Erik was back in her head, that Killmonger scowl was all she could think of.

And Marina.

The nausea grew.

The sight of new sets rolling in excited her. She would finish off her surf day with maybe a tube run if she were lucky.

Dipping her arms in, Sabine went for it.

So did Pete.

The lift was fast and startled Sabine.

She adjusted her legs and shifted her weight forward dropping into a tube so gnar that she grinned from ear to ear.

The wave turned into a giant freakshow in an instant.

A mutant terror.

Sabine was shocked at how wild the ride became as she shot out of the tube before it collapsed. Her adrenaline really kicked in and through the joy she felt at escaping a wall falling on her, there was a tiny bit of fear tickling the back of her neck. Glancing toward shore, she saw Belimira and Ramelan waving them in.

She wouldn't be back in Indo for awhile.

One more.

Paddling back to the line she could see Tadpole had the same idea as he gave her a thumbs up. Her biceps and traps were beginning to ache and a twinge of discomfort hit her lower back again from the poor sleeping she did on the hotel floor. Of course, not stretching before getting into the water was terrible self-care.

"Sick, Dude," Sabine shouted to Tadpole as they both saw larger sets in the distance.

Paddling fast, Sabine jumped up like she needed to make ten points in a final heat. Her left heel slammed down on her board and she cruised into a deep barrel. Fanning her left fingers out, she touched the wall of water until the tube began to bend toward the reef. The nose of her quad fin lifted up sharply and she tried to maneuver a big foam ball at the same time. Sabine got clipped on the lip of the rising giant. The wave did her dirty and she was shoved off of her board and slammed into the hardest wipeout she had ever experienced. She forgot to curl into the ball Belmira warned her about.

The last thing she remembered- before her head slammed into the coral reef and she floated into blackness with blood seeping out of her skull—was the sight of the green-blue water beckoning her to stay in it forever.

###

Pain.

All over.

Sabine couldn't open her eyes. The lids felt so heavy…and sore. She couldn't move anything either. She could feel the weight of her body lying on something but couldn't make her limbs or even her neck move. Why were her lids so fucking heavy and useless?

There was a pain in her right nostril and it irritated her to no end. Opening her lips, her tongue felt like it had swelled up and blocked up all the space in her mouth. She tried to speak but her voice wouldn't work and panic set in. A loud beeping rang out and she tried moving her head in the direction of the sharp dissonant noise.

Sabine felt another hand touch her right one. It was soft and warm.

"You're okay," an unfamiliar voice said above her.

Sabine still couldn't get her eyelids to work, and her tongue took up too much space and she couldn't move anything. She gulped air through her mouth still feeling the strange irritation in her right nostril.

"Baby?"

Sabine's mother's voice made her start crying. The hot wetness coursed down her cheeks and she could feel that.

"Mommy."

Another hand covered her left one and that familiar touch made her cry more. The moisture from her eyes must've loosened up whatever magical glue that made her eyes seal tight. From out of the darkness came blurry light, and it took several minutes for Sabine's eyes to adjust.

She was in a white room.

A medical room…a hospital by the smell and sounds around her. Her eyes darted to her left and Belinda sat there squeezing her fingers that came alive once she saw her mother's face.

"I'm here, Sugar. Mommy's here. Welcome back."

"Back from where?"

Her mother broke into shaky laughter as she wiped her eyes from all the tears she was dropping onto Sabine's hand. There was intense pain in her jaw as it moved slightly. She did her best to enunciate and was glad her parents could make out her words with her sluggish tongue holding her back.

"Azucar…"

"P…"

Cedro walked around the hospital bed and stood near Belinda. His hand stroked Sabine's wrist.

"How… here?" she asked.

Indo.

Birthday.

Tadpole.

Nusa…Nusa Penida.

Walking…

Snorkeling?

No…not snorkeling…surfing.

Surfing the green-blue island waters. Big sets. Short breaks. Be careful. Reefs. Ball up.

Sabine tried to sit up but her head felt heavy and so did her legs.

At least one leg did.

Her eyes shifted down toward her waist and she could see a white cast on her elevated right leg. Right hand reaching for her nose, Belinda pushed her hand back.

"They took out your feeding tube," she whispered.

"Toohhhd?"

"You've been in a coma, Sweetheart," Papi said.

Her tongue made her mouth tired. She couldn't even ask a question.

"Three days. Today you've been in and out of consciousness."

"Shidd."

Her parents burst out laughing but they were crying at the same time. Happy tears of relief.

"Do you remember what happened?"

An unfamiliar voice.

"Take your time with speaking. If it's too painful, we can wait."

Sabine turned her head to the left. A light brown Indonesian woman with soft warm hands held her right hand and stared into her eyes with a penlight. Her English was softly accented.

"Wiped out… reef…"

Pain.

On her head.

Sabine released her mother's hand and she touched her scalp. It was bandaged completely along with part of her left cheek.

"Bad?"

The doctor touched the top of her head.

"You've had surgery. You broke your right leg in two places. We had to remove coral from your face and leg. You have sixty external stitches and more internal ones to repair all the damage to your left eye, jaw and head. There were no skull fractures and no injuries to your neck, but you still fell into a coma. Healing completely is going to take a lot of time but now that you are back with us, I feel a lot better."

Sabine took in all the information the doctor gave her and she turned her head back to her parents. She swallowed thickly and pushed her words out despite the pain.

"Am I still cute though?"

Belinda touched her bandaged cheek and giggled. Papi still wiped tears away.

"You're still beautiful, Baby," Belinda said.

"Let's let her rest a bit without trying to talk," the doctor said.

Sabine was checked over by the doctor and a nurse who entered to clean her bandages. She felt something nudged up against her right breast. It felt like soft fluffy hair and plastic. Her mother lifted the object up so she could see it.

A Black Surfer doll.

"Marina brought that for you. Erik flew all of us over as soon as we found out. We're so happy you finally woke up. They were worried about brain injury…"

Belinda slowed down to keep herself from getting too worked up. Sabine stroked the doll's hair as her eyes grew blurry again.

"Marina was so worried, Baby. She sat by your side and just talked and talked. Read you stories from books trying to make you wake up…oh honey…I know…I know…"

Sabine pressed the doll against her face and her body shook with pain and also release. It hurt to cry and she couldn't help the flood coming out.

"Okay…okay…get some rest…" her mother whispered giving her a kiss on her forehead.

The nurse returned and gave Sabine some pain medication and it helped numb the sharp stings she felt in all her injured parts, but it didn't stop her tears.

###

There were many things in life that Erik didn't like, but his least favorite thing was being woken up in the middle of a good sleep.

At three in the morning his cell phone went off and then his house phone went crazy two minutes later. He picked up the cell first and saw Sugar's number. Sitting up quickly he swiped his phone and Stacey's shrill voice greeted him with crying and stumbling words. His house phone went straight to the answering machine and he could hear Sugar's mother yelling for him to pick up.

Jumping out of bed he ran down to the second floor and put Stacey on speakerphone and asked her to stop talking so she could catch her breath. He put Sugar's parents on speaker too.

Sugar was in the hospital after a horrible wipeout.

Erik held his cell phone up near the landline and Stacey gave him more information in a calmer voice.

His woman couldn't resist a big wave and took it. Sabine's body was battered against a reef and Tadpole was able to grab onto her arm until a ski jet could drag her to shore. It took a long time to get her evacuated by sea transport to a suitable private hospital in Bali. Stacey sounded like a total wreck by the time Erik was online booking flights for Sabine's parents, himself, Yvette, and his children.

She was in surgery while they were all flying. It took over thirty hours to arrive in Bali and they were all exhausted and scared. The moment they touched down at Ngurah Rai International Airport and took a taxi van to the BMIC Nusa Dua hospital, Stacey informed them all that Sugar's surgery went well. Erik felt like he could breathe for the first time since getting the phone call about the accident.

It was quite a shock to find out at the hospital that Sugar's friend Gato Pete drowned. While Sugar had floated up to the surface, Pete had been held under the heavy waves losing strength in his body to even make it to the surface. His body had been found washed ashore. His family had to make arrangements to have his remains flown back to South America.

Once they reached the hospital with their luggage, Sugar's doctor told her parents that they were hoping for the best.

Hoping for the best.

Her parents went up to see her in recovery and Erik waited in the lobby with Yvette, his children, and Stacey. An hour later Cedro returned and his pale face let Erik know it was worse than they thought.

Erik had been flippant with Sugar when he hung up on her. His anger masked the hurt he felt trying to get Marina back to herself and having Sugar run away from them. He didn't want to call her childish over the phone even though that is exactly how he felt she was acting. Showing her breasts online. Hard-partying in public. The lack of concern about her image.

"Do you want to go see her?" Cedro asked.

He wanted to. He was scared of what he would find.

"She's going to need more cosmetic surgery down the line to fix her face. We'll have that done in the states. We just want her stable enough to leave when she gets out of this coma."

"Coma? I thought they said the surgery went well."

Cedro shrugged.

"Go see her."

Erik turned to go find the ICU wing and Marina grabbed his hand and shoved Lacy, one of her surfing dolls, into his hand with a small surfboard.

"Give this to, Sugar…please, Daddy."

Marina's stressed face made him anxious. She pressed the brown doll into his palm and he curled his fingers around it. It wasn't until he walked away from his daughter that he realized she had spoken a full sentence to him. He stopped in his tracks and turned back toward her. She was leaned up against Yvette. Deuce's eyes were on him giving Erik a thumbs up signal.

Erik continued on his way and he braced himself for what he would see. He had witnessed some fucked up injuries over the years, but when he saw Sugar on that hospital bed, he thought he was going to pass out. Her face was swollen and bruised and bloody and she looked so …broken. Belinda was a mess and Erik pulled it together to help Sugar's mother hold up better.

"She's in a coma," Belinda wailed.

Erik pulled a seat next to her and stared at Sugar.

Why didn't she just come home?

That wild woman only did what he used to do. Throw caution to the sea winds and just ride every wave she could catch.

Leg busted. Face busted. Head busted. Erik closed his eyes. She was done surfing for the rest of the year. Maverick could drop her. She was going to miss the call to the big show.

"Sugar, damn…" he muttered.

All the hard work she put into making a name for herself. Getting major sponsorship when so many surfers, especially women, didn't get that luxury. She had the buzz and the support and the anticipation…all of that…gone.

It didn't matter at that point. All that he was concerned with was seeing her heal and getting her back home with him and her family.

"Marina wants her to have this with her."

"Lacy," Belinda said. She took the doll and tucked it under the covers in the crook of Sugar's arm.

Erik sat with Belinda until he had to use the restroom. He went back to the lobby and told Cedro he was going to take Yvette and the kids to their hotel rooms. He gave Cedro all the information and cash to cover a taxi for them to join them when they were ready to get some rest.

"I want to stay with Papi and Miss Belinda," Marina said.

Everyone stared at Marina. To hear her voice was like that was startling after weeks of silence and one or two words at the most once every few days.

"Tomorrow," Cedro said tousling her curls.

At the hotel, Erik called Calista on Skype and informed her they had all made it safe. She was in London for her TV show.

"How is she?" Calista asked.

Erik saw the genuine concern on his ex-wife's face.

"It's bad. She's in a coma. They don't know how long—"

"Hey, Muffin! Deucy!" Calista said as Marina came into his section of the small suite with Deuce.

They sat on Erik's bed staring down at his laptop.

"I gave Sugar my doll…Lacy," Marina said.

Calista's mouth fell open but she quickly acted like Marina's talking was no big deal.

"I'm sure she's going to get better fast with Lacy staying with her. That was thoughtful of you to share her with Sugar."

Marina nodded.

"How are you doing, Deuce?"

"Better now that we're here. I hope she wakes up soon," he said.

"What happens if she doesn't wake up soon?" Marina asked.

"She will," Calista reassured her.

"Sometimes people don't—"

"She will, Marina," Erik said.

"Her friend died, Mommy," Marina said.

Calista stared at Erik with shocked eyes.

"He drowned," Deuce said.

"Sugar could've drowned," Marina said.

"Hey, how about we get some sleep so we can visit Sugar tomorrow?" Yvette said.

She stood in the doorway of the bedroom and Erik was grateful for the distraction.

"Sugar is my best friend and I don't want her to die. It's my fault!" Marina shrieked.

She burst into tears and Erik pulled her into a hug away from the laptop.

"How is it your fault?" Deuce asked, his face distressed.

"It's all my fault!"

Marina grew hysterical and Yvette rushed over to help Erik calm her. Calista did her best to soothe their daughter on the screen but nothing worked.

"Marina! Listen to me. You have to tell us what's wrong," Erik begged.

He held her head back gently and stroked her forehead. Her eyes were like swollen dark berries and there was snot in her nose. Her lips trembled and he could feel her entire body shake.

"Please baby girl, let us help you."

Deuce reached out and held her hand.

"Sugar left you because of me. I made her go away and she got hurt. Just like Mommy tried to kill herself because of me!"

"What are you talking about, honey?" Calista said.

Erik could see Calista shaking with her own stress as tears spilled from her lids because of Marina's wailing.

Their daughter took deep breaths and Erik helped her sit up with her back against his chest as she faced the laptop. Yvette sat next to Erik's hip with Deuce on his other side. His daughter was surrounded.

"I heard your friend Peyton over the phone tell you that I liked Sugar better than you and that's why…that's why you tried to kill yourself after Deuce found out about…Daddy."

Calista's face showed confusion.

"I heard her after me and Deuce talked to you at Daddy's house. I was hanging up the phone when you said bye to me and Peyton was mad at you and started yelling about its Sugar's fault that I liked her better and it made you sad…and you took pills…"

"Mom, is that true?" Deuce asked.

"I thought I hung up my phone all the way. I put it down and I was excited about the show and talking to you and Marina, and Peyton was there…and…Marina…Deuce…I didn't try to kill myself. I had an accident with my medicine and your father helped me. I'm fine—"

"Mom…"

Deuce leaned in toward the laptop.

"She's telling the truth. She had a bad reaction to her medicine and it's all straightened out now," Erik said.

"I would never hurt myself, honey. I love you both too much. Marina…Muffin…is that why you stopped talking?" Calista asked.

Marina nodded her head.

"I thought liking Sugar made you upset and want to hurt yourself. And then when Sugar got hurt…"

"None of this is your fault…Marina…look at me."

Calista's voice was warm but firm.

"Nothing that me or Sugar or anyone else does is your fault. You misheard something Peyton said that isn't true. Sugar getting hurt has nothing to do with you not liking her anymore or anything negative you may be thinking is your fault. She is your friend. I know she loves you. I'm your Mom, and I love you too. I am so sorry that you were in all this pain for so long because of Peyton. I wish you would've talked to me about it. I could've told you how wrong you were about it all."

"I didn't want to upset you. I thought it would make you hurt yourself again."

Calista rested her cheek on her hand.

"Muffin…oh my little Muffin. I want you and Deuce to know that I am very happy now. For myself, and believe it or not…for your Dad too. Divorce is tough and I know I have not handled it or anything else well—"

"Me neither," Erik chimed in.

"God…we were so scared wondering why you wouldn't speak. I'm sorry, Marina. It was all a big mistake and misunderstanding and a rotten luck situation."

"You are really okay, right?" Deuce asked.

"Yes, Deuce."

Calista looked at Marina again.

"Sugar is going to get better, and then we can tell her what happened together, okay? I know she wants to talk with you and do fun stuff with you again—"

"I hurt her feelings, though. I didn't want to—"

"You can tell her when she wakes up. She's going to need a buddy to help her get better. Right?" Calista said with a wide positive smile.

Marina nodded her head and wiped her eyes.

"I'm so happy you're talking to us, Muffin. I missed that part of you," Calista said.

"I'm sorry. I was scared of saying the wrong thing."

"You said nothing wrong," Calista insisted.

Calista's eyes stared at all of them.

"Get some sleep and call me when you are rested and know more. Please let Sugar's parents know she's in my prayers."

"I will," Erik said.

"Deuce…are you okay?" she asked.

He nodded.

"I'm glad we know what's up with motor mouth," Deuce said punching Marina softly in the shoulder.

"Deuce, I'm good. Talk with your Dad if you have questions about anything, okay?"

"I will, Mom."

"Erik, keep me posted. Text me a message and leave me a voicemail if I don't answer my phone. We're doing a week here all over London and then I'm back in Burbank for voiceover work."

"Okay."

"Yvette…thank you. For everything," Calista said.

Yvette sat up with watery eyes. She nodded her head.

"Have a good trip over there. I'll text you too as we get more information," Yvette said.

"I hate that this is happening. Get some sleep and we'll all talk later. Love you!"

Calista blew a ton of kisses before she ended their Skype chat.

Erik brushed hair back from Marina's face.

"No more secrets?"

"No more," she said.

"Tell us about whatever is hurting you," Deuce chimed in with bossy authority.

"Okay."

"To bed," Erik said standing up.

"Can I sleep in here with you and Deuce?"

"You don't want to sleep with me?" Yvette whined.

"Not tonight," Marina said.

"Okay, tomorrow then. I'm happy to hear that chipmunk voice again."

"You have a chipmunk voice too," Marina teased back.

Yvette kissed both of Marina's hands and then she squeezed Erik's shoulder.

"Night. Night Deuce."

Yvette wandered out and Erik stared at his children.

"This has been tough, huh?"

They both nodded at him.

"Scary," Marina said.

"Will Sugar surf again?" Deuce asked.

"She will. How soon depends on her recovery."

"Will she lose her sponsor?"

"Let's talk after we all sleep."

The children were knocked out by the time Belinda and Cedro arrived back with Stacey.

"Still the same," Belinda told him and Yvette.

Erik tried not to toss and turn too much while Deuce and Marina snoozed next to him, but he stayed restless and worried about Sugar's future.

What would become of her career?


	45. My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine tries to heal...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at the end of Book 1!

"Life can be only what you make it  
When you're feelin down  
You should never fake it  
Say what's on your mind  
And you'll find in time  
That all the negative energy  
It would all cease

And you'll be at peace with yourself  
You won't really need no one else  
Except for the man up above  
Because He'll give you love"

Mary J. Blige – "My Life"

Sabine thought she would vomit when her mother told her that Marina and Deuce were in the lobby with Erik wanting to see her. If her parents weren't there, she would've made up an excuse for the nurse to pass a message that she was asleep or having tests done and couldn't be seen.

What could she tell them? Being hungover and using poor judgment while surfing cost her physical damage that would take time and money to heal and she had lost a dear friend who did the same thing? She was ashamed. Embarrassed. Disappointed in herself. Dread welled up in her stomach as she waited for them to come into her private room.

"Tell them I can't see them!" she snapped in a panic as she turned her face away from the closed door.

Belinda patted her hand.

"Honey they'll be here any—"

"I don't want them to see me like this. Mommy…please…."

Her eyes blurred with tears and her heart thudded in her chest as a panic attack set a cruel course throughout her body. Her breath turned into shallow pants as her left arm became numb suddenly.

Cedro went to the door to intercept but it was too late. Sabine could see Marina's sweet face peeking at her from under Cedro's arm.

"Sugar…"

Marina's voice forced Sabine's eyes to squeeze shut.

"Not like this, Mommy…"

Small hands cradled hers.

"Don't cry, Sugar. It'll be okay."

Deuce's voice forced her eyes open. Marina held her left hand tight as Deuce looked down at her with a timid smile on his face. She knew her facial injuries were hard for them to take in, but they were doing their best to pretend like it didn't bother them too much. All the stitches holding her face together made her look like a Mary Shelly creation. Parts of her shaved head were probably hideous to see too.

Sabine blinked to make her vision better and she caught Erik slipping into the room and standing at the foot of the bed. His lips were ticked up into a soft grin but she could see the pain floating behind his eyes.

"Let's give them some time alone," Belinda suggested.

She tugged on Cedro's arm and Erik followed them outside. Sabine inhaled deeply and turned her eyes back to the children.

"We saw the wipeout," Deuce said.

"How?"

"Some guy posted it online," Marina said.

"Drone shots," Deuce added.

"It was a big wave, Sugar," Marina whispered.

"You looked kinda cool until you fell," Deuce added.

"Sorry about Pete."

Marina's voice grew softer and Sabine gave her a smile to lift her mood.

"He left this world doing what he loved. I'll miss him…"

Sabine's lips quivered and she looked away before any more tears tried to spill out.

"I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye."

"I'm sorry for making you leave."

Sabine shook her head.

"I didn't want you to feel bad about me being there. They told me why you stopped talking to me."

"I'm sorry—"

"Don't be, Marina. You did what you thought wouldn't hurt anyone. We're still buddies, okay?"

"Okay."

"When can you leave and come home with us?" Deuce asked.

"You're not enjoying the peace and quiet?" Sabine teased.

"Dad is miserable. It's not the same without your loud personality."

"Smartass."

She punched at his arm and he smirked. Deuce was getting a few more chin hairs and he had put on some weight in his growth spurt. He would be as tall as Erik in a couple of years. She could hear the slight change in his voice. Two years. That was how long they had been in her life. Even Marina had grown a couple of inches. She had been a tiny little wisp of a nine-year-old when she first stood in front of Sabine at the surf camp. It was hard to believe she had ever known the world without them in it.

"I'm miserable too. I miss all of you. I don't how soon I can leave. They don't want me flying with a broken leg and that's going to take weeks to heal. I'll be stuck here for a minute."

Sabine touched Marina's cheek.

"I'm so happy to hear your voice baby shark."

Marina's eyes went to her surfing doll tucked near Sabine's arm. She picked it up.

"Did she bring you good luck?"

"Yes. My mother told me you read to me."

Marina nodded and her bright eyes made Sabine feel less stressed.

"Hey so tell, what's been going on at home? What have I missed?"

Deuce glanced at Marina and Marina stared down at the doll again.

"What?" Sabine asked.

"Dad's talking about going to Portugal," Deuce said.

Sabine tried to sit up, but she couldn't do it very well.

"For what?"

"He's thinking about moving onto the big wave circuit next year. Everybody thinks he'll win the regular championship this year. I think he might do it. That's why he's going to Portugal with Uncle Colin."

"When?"

"He didn't say."

Belinda stuck her head in the door.

"Erik?" Belinda said.

"Gotta talk to your Dad now," Sabine said.

Marina kissed her hand and walked toward Belinda. Deuce lingered and tapped his hands on the bed rail.

"If he comes off moody or sounds mean…don't take it personally. He was really scared you wouldn't make it out of the coma. I was too."

"Thanks for the heads up."

Sabine watched a young man walk out of her room and pass up his father. Deuce glanced back at her and gave her an okay sign as Erik stepped in and shut the door behind himself.

She couldn't keep her eyes off of him.

He looked stressed but he also looked…amazing.

As Erik walked over to her bed Sabine saw him with the heart eyes of her teen self. The superstar. The Wave Killer. Killmonger. The moment he stood next to her and his eyes took in her face he was just Erik. He sat down in the chair her mother once occupied as she held her breath waiting for him to chastise her. Reaching for her hand he held it and just stared into her eyes. She couldn't even cry.

"Don't ever leave me," he whispered.

His eyes were glossy with unshed tears and she shook her head.

"I won't," she answered in a shallow breath.

That's all that was spoken between them

They sat holding hands until she dozed off into an anxious slumber.

###

Sabine returned to the States and set up convalescence in her parent's home.

Erik wasn't happy about that.

It was the first argument they had the moment she was able to fly back to the States after six weeks. It grew even tenser when she was given an x-ray and it was determined that she had a malalignment. Her right leg had healed incorrectly causing her hip and lower back pain. She also had a length discrepancy, losing nearly two centimeters of height in that leg. Erik blamed Sabine for rushing her healing by pushing her physical therapy sooner than she should've had once the cast came off.

Her orthopedic surgeon in La Jolla had to re-break the bone with a plate and screws.

The trauma to her face healed with highly visible scars, and she had to wait until her leg healed properly before she could have any cosmetic surgery. Thanksgiving and Christmas had passed before she could even feel comfortable thinking about walking again, let alone look at her face without crying.

Depression set in when she wasn't invited to join the Pro circuit. At first, she thought the scandal with her viral tit video and the overly shared wipeout clips would ruin her sponsorship with Maverick.

It didn't. At least not yet.

Stressed that she was going to get fired after the second surgery, Sabine sat in her parent's house with Deuce playing Monopoly with her as Marina helped her mother cook lasagna for dinner on a cold February morning. Deuce was whooping her ass buying up every property he could as she sat propped on her bed in her old bedroom. She ran her fingers through the long braid extensions her mother put into her hair. She wasn't surfing so she didn't have to worry about weight on her neck or pushing hair out of her eyes for work.

The doorbell rang and she thought it was her brother and father returning home early from the restaurant. Her mother walked into her room with concerned eyes.

"Sugar, it's Mr. Fouche."

Sabine's stomach dropped to the floor as Deuce stared at her.

"He wants to talk to you," Belinda whispered.

Deuce stood up and tried to leave before Jean Fouche walked in larger than life and smelling like immense power.

"Deuce Stevens, right?" Jean said.

"Yeah," Deuce said.

Jean put out his hand for Deuce to shake. He shook hands then quickly slipped out of the room. Marina ran up and stood in the doorway.

"Are you going to fire her?"

Marina was tight-lipped and her hands were in fists by her sides.

Jean chuckled with his soft French voice.

"I wouldn't fly thousands of miles to fire her. I could've called her and done that, young lady. You are Marina, oui?"

"Oui, je te regarderai."

Jean chuckled again.

"I liked those Nike ads you did with your father. You are a very good athlete too."

"Oui."

Sabine laughed hard and Jean glanced over at her.

Belinda pulled Marina away from the door and Sabine couldn't hide the smile breaking across her face. Baby shark was ready to throw hands on a billionaire.

"May I?" Jean asked pointing to an old wooden desk chair.

"Go ahead."

The man pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down. Unbuttoning the jacket of his slate-gray Dior suit, Jean grew comfortable in his seat. He took a moment to look around the bedroom and she felt her face grow warm when he saw all of her old Killmonger posters still hanging in the same spots she placed them as a teenager.

"The rumors are true then? You and Killmonger?"

Sabine looked down at her fingers as she twisted them on her lap. The new cast she wore on her right leg stood out in sharp contrast to the dark blue blanket she sat on.

"His children are here with you and they are very protective."

"We've been staying private…for reasons."

"You should shout it to the world. Two of the best surfers together? La magie!"

"You still think I'm the best?"

"I think you are going to be an icon in the sport."

"I didn't even make it…I fucked up my chance—"

"Regarde mon visage. Do I look worried? Chances? They are hungry for your return—"

"Look…I've seen the new girl you've picked up to replace me—"

"Replace you?"

"I've seen the new ads. I've read the chats online. Margot. Safe white Hawaiian blonde—"

"I run a brand. I hire people to represent that brand. There will be others. Always…but you…you are the Queen."

"Queen of what? Fucking up?"

"You did that. But athletes get injured all the time."

"I was broken apart, Jean. I had to be broken again."

Sabine was tired. Scared.

"I don't know how soon I'll be able to try for qualifying rounds again. I know I messed up the Maverick winter campaign—"

Jean pulled out a large slender cell phone from his inside jacket pocket.

"Look," he said holding the cell out to her.

"We were able to use outtakes from video clips and put together your campaign."

He pressed play on his cell and a flashy commercial with a throbbing stank beat erupted onscreen. Sabine heard clips of her own voice from interviews she had done the past year narrate a quick-edited two-minute piece that started with a slo-mo image of her surfing with her grills through the tube she glided through in France.

"That's Paulo's work, the guy who photographed me—"

"We took clips from his outtakes for this…and that viral video too…"

Sabine felt flush as she watched herself dance with her nipples out with a saucy attitude that jumped to her yelling at a fellow competitor who cut her off during a heat that was caught on camera along with her flashing a West Coast hand sign as she won that event in Tahiti. Her eyes were shocked to see the drone shot of her riding the freak wave that caused her to fall from grace. It was hard to watch knowing what happened that day. One minute she was gliding across the lip and then the next, falling headfirst into…

She shut her eyes for a second and heard herself speak words she said months ago.

"Every surfer worries about being hurt. But I can't let the fear get to me or else I wouldn't do it. That's my world out there. That's my world…"

The commercial faded to black for three seconds and she heard her mother's voice on the phone.

"C'mon, baby. You can do it. You got this. One more step…"

A short clip of her in physical therapy trying to walk on her leg that would have to be broken again soon after.

Sabine's finger dropped to her thigh and she touched the top of her cast as she continued watching. Quick images of other Pro surfers went past and stopped on a slo-mo of Killmonger holding up his newest World Championship trophy. Despite all the trauma his family endured, despite all the time and arguments and tears they had together when she came home…her man won the entire tour.

"My time will come, and when it does…the world better be ready!"

The entire commercial ended with an old video clip of her on her first surfboard at the age of five rolling in on a small wave and throwing her hands up in the air like she was a champion.

"This is the most popular commercial out right now. It already has two million views on YouTube and we just uploaded it this morning when the tv spots dropped hours ago."

Sabine covered her eyes for a moment letting the fear she had wash through her.

"I'm not firing you. I'm encouraging you to get better. You only missed the cut by one standing. A few lousy points. For someone who jumped in late and missed out on the last few qualifiers, that's fucking incredible."

"So my tits out didn't cause a ruckus?"

"Americans are fucking children. The moment I saw that video I thought of Killmonger. Europeans loved it. The rest of the world embraced it because it showed you having fun and being true to yourself. With Paulo's film and photos of you with that thing on your teeth too?"

Jean kissed his fingers.

"We gave America and Asia edited versions of course for TV. Look what we have planned next."

Jean swiped his phone and showed her a mock-up of a new print ad campaign. Paulo's photo of her with the grills alongside Killmonger's old photo with his grills.

"When you are well and competing again, I would like for you and Killmonger to go public with your relationship. People like royalty. A King and his future Queen."

"I don't know, Jean. People will think—"

"Think what?"

"That I was given favors and priority by being with Killmonger."

"Fuck them. Killmonger is the World Champion once more. One day the two of you will win side by side. Mark my words, Sugar. You will do commercials together and the world will see that you…hell, I'll say it out loud…you may one day surpass him."

"I gotta stop you there chief," she said.

"He's the best in the world right now. I know."

"I haven't proven myself. Not where it counts."

Marina poked her head into the room. Her eyes darted toward Jean.

"I'm not fired," Sabine said.

"Good, because I got Daddy over here just in case."

Marina reached behind her and pulled Erik next to her side. Sabine couldn't hide the surprise in her eyes. They were still having a little tension between them.

"Erik Killmonger Stevens," Jean said.

Jean stood up and held out his hand. Erik shook it and his eyes leveled with hers once more.

"I saw the new commercial," Erik said.

"What do you think? Sugar looks and sounds superb. Oui?"

"It's good."

"It's actually better than the original campaign we had planned. It has a heart. Soul. Guts. Conviction. It sets up a narrative that forces people to root for her automatically—"

"That drone shot was a bit exploitive," Erik said.

Sabine's eyes dropped from his face.

"I own that footage. I had it stripped from the internet by paying a nice fee to the owner of that drone. The clips we used don't show the actual impact—"

"It's still exploitive—"

"It's all good, Erik. I like it."

His eyes were slightly heated. But he backed down from Jean.

"We're behind Sugar one thousand percent."

"Great."

"I'm aware of your relationship," Jean said with boldness in his voice.

Erik stared at her again.

"I know your concerns come from a more personal place."

Erik gave Jean his full attention.

"Congratulations on your championship win. Impressive as always."

"Thanks."

Erik stayed so cool with the man. She tilted her head at him and his eyes softened.

"Mr. Fouche, can you stay for dinner. We have plenty of lasagna and garlic bread," Belinda offered, interrupting the uptight energy in the room.

"I would love to."

"Here let me show you where you can wash up—"

"I can do that!" Marina said taking the man's hand and leading him out of Sabine's room with Belinda behind them.

Deuce scurried back in.

"What happened?" he said out of breath while looking over his shoulder toward the bathroom.

"I'm good," she said.

Deuce balled up his fists and pulled his arms down as he squealed "Yes!"

"Could you leave us for a minute?" Erik asked.

Deuce left them alone.

"Marina called me. Told me to get over here and beat up Jean if he fired you."

Sabine giggled and it brought a relaxed smile to Erik's face. She still felt tension from him.

"I was worried for a long time. Can't deny that. Every time Stacey checked in with them it was always some excuse that the head honchos were busy. I only wanted to know about the winter ad and…they did their own thing. I like it, Erik. I don't think it was exploitive. I've seen the footage enough times…are you really upset with it?"

Erik sat in the desk chair and held her hand.

"You are vulnerable and healing right now. They should've told you what was going on sooner. I don't like that they ran it without your input on that footage at least."

"They were giving me time—"

"Sugar, they made you feel like you had to rush your healing."

"I did push myself—"

"For the wrong reasons. Look what happened. More unnecessary surgery—"

"Lower your voice."

He stood and closed the bedroom door. Returning to his seat she could tell he was trying to remain cool. Not living together was taking a toll on him. Everything irritated him and no matter how many times she told him that she wanted him to focus on winning and letting her parents look after her, he felt…

She wasn't really sure what he felt when he held so much in to make her feel comfortable. It was easier to recuperate in a quiet home instead of her feeling useless around the children and their hectic lives. It depressed her not being able to surf with them in the morning, or go to any school events, or even watch Marina compete in the junior events. She felt less disappointed to be in her old home and have the children and Erik come visit without slowing down their lives looking after her. It made sense in her head.

Sabine missed sleeping with Erik and all the peaceful quiet moments in the house they once shared when they got the kids off to school or activities. She missed the family bond of being all together but she needed the space. Sometimes Erik still looked at her as if he wanted to strangle her for messing up so badly. He never said anything like that to her, but deep down, she felt like it was an unsaid thing inside of him.

Her cast was coming off in two weeks and she would come home to him then. That was her plan. Once she was able to walk again she would have more facial surgery and begin to get back into the water.

She was nervous about that.

Going back in.

Would her leg return to normal? Normal enough to allow her to surf like she once did? She worried about injuring herself again and all the psychological issues she read about and talked to other surfers about online in private chats. There were rumors of her quitting and there were active haters wanting her gone. There were trolls on her social media feeds. Mean ones. Racist ones. Sexist ones.

Sabine kept busy writing her surf blog, but she grew bored lying around all day. Being mentally active was easy. The physical needs were the kicker.

She was able to sneak kisses with Erik, but it was hard to enjoy when she fretted about her face. Sabine had never been vain about her looks, but the moment her face was marred by potential permanent scarring, she became overly self-conscious. Even watching the new commercial made her hone in on how the marks on her face looked. Luckily the shots were taken from the unmarked side. Erik kept telling her she was the same girl he was in love with, but looking at her face in a mirror was difficult on a lot of bad days. The stitches were gone, but the horror of her accident was imprinted there. Forever.

"I want you home with us. I don't want to wait for the cast to come off. I need you, Sugar."

She winced. The angst and pain were raw in his voice.

"I need to talk to you about Portugal…don't look away," he said.

Nazare.

She took a deep breath. Nazare, Portugal called to him. She understood that call. Of all the places in the world to surf, Nazare made Sabine's skin crawl. Especially since her accident.

Before she was hurt, the sky was the limit and her dreams of big wave surfing like him was a beacon on the horizon like so many things she wanted to try. After nearly dying and having Pete snatched from her life, Sabine had become hesitant with the thought of Erik tackling that. She was grateful he put it off while she was first home, but his desire to ride the big one grew once he became World Champion again.

That's how it was.

Once the taste of the zenith is sated, what more could there be? When one has dined on Mount Olympus, drank in the halls of Valhalla, seen the heavens from the top of Kilimanjaro, or looked down on mortals from Mount Everest…what more could a World Champion want once they've been World Champion many times?

Only the most experienced big wave surfers went to Nazare to ride. And there was only a small elite group within that experience. Some said only the wild ones went there to go against Titans. She had even enlisted Colin's help to talk Erik out of it. She thought they had succeeded.

She didn't want to talk about that place. She needed to distract him.

"I'll come home."

Erik's face lit up and her heart swelled.

"I'm ready to come home."

He leaned over and hugged her gently, but firmly.

"Tonight," he whispered in her ear, "come home with us tonight. We can talk. I have plans…I want to try new things. You'll get better and we can train together. You'll make it this year—"

"You'll win again too," she huffed into his neck, her warm breath kissing his skin.

He wore her favorite cologne. The scruff from his beard made her feel secure. She inhaled his scent and then kissed him softly on his neck.

"I want you at Nazere with me when I go."

Sabine closed her eyes.

She nearly lost her life.

She didn't want him to lose his.


	46. Slave To The Rhythm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik goes to Portugal...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left!

"Never stop the action  
Keep it up, keep it up

Breath to the rhythm  
Dance to the rhythm  
Work to the rhythm  
Live to the rhythm  
Love to the rhythm  
Slave To The Rhythm"

Grace Jones – "Slave To The Rhythm"

Sabine stood in the shallow end of the pool inside of the Surfgeist building.

Her breathing came at a rapid pace and she tried to concentrate on the warm water pressing against her waist. It was the first time being in water outside of a bath or shower and she was still getting used to walking without her leg brace. Her physical therapy ended the previous week and she was given the release to surf again.

The healing had been long and taxing. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually.

She decided not to have any further surgery to fix the scars that were on her face and leg. Being in peak physical condition and using a non-surgical scar-reduction treatment, she was able to dull down the appearance of her damaged skin tissue. Meditation, Reiki treatments, and expensive skin oils did the rest. Sabine wanted to allow a visible reminder of what had happened to her to stay so she would remember to never act so recklessly again.

Fingers spread before her, she dropped down into the heated saltwater pool water and swam using only her arms. When she reached the deeper end she tread in place allowing her lower limbs to do the work of keeping her up. She held her breath a few times as anxiety rose into the base of her stomach. For some reason she expected her right leg to snap off. She was paranoid about injuring herself in any way.

Sabine kept a low profile among the chattering classes of surfers. She stayed busy with her blog and started doing a few vlogs for Surf Digest online. She gave a big shoutout to her friends Asia and Yolanda for still running their surf camp without her. They didn't need her really. Baby shark was the star of that enterprise now. Marina had won two junior surf competitions back-to-back in Florida and Huntington Beach. Buzz was building around her and her father, and there were sponsor offers on the table. Erik's daughter grew the number of young girls who wanted to learn how to surf in San Diego. So many of them were Black that Sabine would cry when she saw Marina showing them how to stand up on their boards for the first time. The leadership and cool confidence Marina had while working with other girls, even the ones older than her by a few years was humbling. Asia and Yolanda bragged about her so much and Sabine held a quiet pride allowing the girl the space to teach the way she wanted without her input.

Sabine felt the pressure from Maverick then.

Jean Fouche wanted her to reveal her personal relationship with Erik since he was on track to do a repeat performance of being champion again that year. Publicly hitching her wagon to Killmonger and Marina was a publicity goldmine for Maverick even though Killmonger and Marina were not signed to their brand. Being connected to them elevated her status even more and Jean wanted that free PR publicity.

Sabine didn't want to do it yet. Thus far, her name was popular enough by itself without the scrutiny and weight of Killmonger connected to it. Outside of their inner circle, Killmonger was just her coach and mentor. Dassit.

She leaned backward and floated on her back. Watching her reflection in the pool-length window high up in the ceiling, she allowed the water to carry her in a warm liquid embrace.

"Hey, beautiful. How does it feel?"

Sabine glanced over to the edge of the pool on the left side. Colin squatted down staring at her, that gorgeous bright smile of his blessing her morning.

"Good," she said.

He wore peach swim trunks and flip flops and his bare chest was ripped from all the training he was doing for Erik. The trip to Nazare was going to happen and Erik wanted Colin to be his tower. He was the only man Erik trusted to face titans with.

"Still worried?" he asked.

Sabine swam to the ledge using her legs, forgetting any concerns about her healed one. Gripping the edge, she wiped the water from her face. Colin reached over and boinked the pile of braids twisted on her head with his left hand in a teasing manner.

"I'm trying not to be a Debbie downer but I'm scared for him. He's only doing this to prove that he is the best at everything and he doesn't have to."

"He's the wave killer, Sugar. That's his destiny. Yours too."

"I don't like who I've become now. I would've been his biggest cheerleader last year…now…I think I've lost my edge, Colin. You can't surf without your edge. All I think about is Erik getting hurt…every day. He sees it on my face."

"It's natural to feel anxious after a bad injury. Knowing you, the feeling will pass—"

"I don't know if I want to do this anymore."

The smile on Colin's face disappeared. He reached down and pulled Sabine out of the water with both of his hands. She dripped water and the last of her confidence onto the pool floor.

"Are you serious?"

"I walk by the beach in the morning and I don't even look at the water like I used to. My board is sitting outside the house waiting for me and I just…the whole Maverick machine is on my back and I feel this pressure to be performative and I'm not there mentally."

She felt her chest tighten up and she fought back the swirling of tears behind her eyes.

"Have you talked to Erik about this?"

"Yes, but he tells me that I'm working through trauma and I will get back on track soon. Sometimes…sometimes I think I just want to get a job at Scripps and just use my degree and be safe—"

"Ah, Sugar. I've been where you are. I've taken some bad tumbles. Broken a few bones—"

"And you left."

"But I left because my true love was what I do now. Not because I was banged up or didn't think I could make it again. I found my passion. Surfing professionally is your passion."

"What if it isn't? What if I've just—"

"Stop. That's fear talking. You've been hurt before. Pete is on your mind. A loss of life gets down to the essence."

Sabine's eyes darted to the wet floor and she knew Colin had cut to the core. Losing Pete had her questioning the meaning of everything. It made her want to keep her loved ones close and safe. Colin held her right hand. He kissed it and when she was about to lament, he shoved her back into the pool.

She splashed loudly and dunked under the water fast. Shooting back up to the surface, she wiped her face and glared at him. His mischievous eyes leveled with her hers.

"Pete would talk so much shit about you right now. You're a true water baby, Sugar. You love this shit. Find why you fell in love with it and get back to it."

"It's that easy?"

"I think it is. When I knew Surfgeist was my life, I embraced it and never looked back. I still surf. I still play in the water, but my purpose is to elevate how we play in the water. I saw your last vlog. I saw the joy in your face talking about surfing and teaching girls how to embrace their power. This is you. The same for Erik."

"Do you have any concerns about Portugal? It's dangerous for you too."

"I want my boy to conquer what he needs to conquer. Is it dangerous? Hell yeah. But it forces us both to face what life is and test the limits of that life. That's a high we can't live without."

Sabine kicked her feet against the pool wall and backstroked to the other side. Colin sauntered back up to his office and she could hear his staff moving about with clients in the next wing where the gym was.

She held in a deep breath and swan underwater all the way across the Olympic-sized pool. Sabine did that a few times, expanding her lungs, moving her legs in tandem with her arms as she paid close attention to any twinges of pain or weird sensations in her leg. Everything felt in order. She swam for two hours straight before showering and taking a peek at Colin's remodeled office.

"All good?" he asked after showing her his new northern Europe inspired furnishings and West African art.

"Yeah."

Colin stared at his cell phone.

"E is on his way over here to train with Bruce. Stick around. Watch him prepare. It'll make you feel better. He's in the best shape of his life."

"I'm having lunch with my Mom."

She studied Colin's face.

"He's really the best, right?"

"He is."

"You'll get him, right? If he falls down, you'll get him right away—"

"Sugar, we got this—"

"You'll drag him in when you see it's not worth it—"

"Erik knows—"

"Colin, I want you to bring him in if it gets bad. I don't care if he cusses you out or never speaks to you again."

Sabine left the office and went out to the parking lot. She stood next to Erik's jeep as she watched him pull in with his white Acura. He wasted no time getting next to her and giving her a big hug.

"You do okay?" he asked.

"Everything is working like normal."

She cherished the kisses up and down her cheek and neck that he gifted her with.

"Heading over to have lunch with, Mom," she said.

He glanced at his watch.

"I'm training with Bruce until two and then I'm working with Colin on drills. I want to head over to the studio and work on the new boards. Adding the logos today. Calista is going to drop off the kids after dinner."

"I'll be at the house."

"You look like you have a lot on your mind. You sure everything went well? No aches? No popping?"

Sabine kissed his lips and Erik settled into her mouth a little too comfortably in public. She had to pull away from him.

"You can't get frisky before you work out," she scolded.

Erik glanced around and grabbed on his dick playfully.

"I can control myself."

He pulled her in for another deep embrace. She could feel his rock-hard chest and abs through his windbreaker. His workout pants hugged the muscles in his thighs and backside. Erik's tongue ran along the seam of her lips and when he had his fill of snuggling up on her, he released Sabine and stepped away from her.

"Let me get in here," he said.

She watched him take confident strides into Surfgeist, and when she looked up to the second floor, she saw Colin watching them. He gave Sabine a thumbs up and she waved goodbye.

Lunch with her mother was fun.

Sabine took Belinda to their family restaurant and they acted like they were on the Riviera in France. They dressed up in fancy dresses and enjoyed a five-course meal that Papi presented to them. He thought they were being silly, but Sabine needed comfort food, and each of their food choices was delicious.

After lunch, they visited the Natural History Museum in Balboa Park and enjoyed espressos outside in the patio area of the San Diego Museum of Art under a large blue umbrella. They walked across the Cabrillo bridge and around the grassy lawn bowling club area before Sabine felt a little fatigue in her body. She drove her mother home and changed clothes in the tri-level.

Grabbing a glass of white wine, Sabine stared at the stone and crystal living room clock above the family room door. Marina and Deuce would be there in a few minutes. They had been with Calista in New York for a week and she was eager to see them. She was pouring herself another glass of wine at the kitchen island when the front door flew open and Marina came running in with her rollaway bag clacking at her heels. Deuce bounded in full of grinning good cheer with his suitcase.

"Hey!" she said as Marina hugged her waist.

Deuce gave her a pound and Sabine was ready to hear all the details of their trip when Calista walked in. She wasn't expecting their mother to come inside. She usually dropped them off and headed off to the airport with a car service on her way to Burbank.

"Calista," she said watching Erik's ex-wife look around the room.

"I have some time before my flight out," she said.

"Oh."

"Is it okay if I hang out for a minute?"

Sabine looked at Marina and Deuce and she saw that there was something in their eyes that made this request suspect.

"Yeah."

The children took their things up to their rooms leaving Sabine alone with their mother. It all felt so staged. She trod carefully.

Calista and Erik had been getting along. The back and forth with the children was working well. Sabine had very little contact with her and even less during her own rehabilitation. The woman looked her up and down and Sabine reached for her wine. Calista's eyes went to the glass.

"Would you like some?" Sabine offered.

"Yes."

Sabine reached for a glass in the wine cupboard and poured Calista a heavy amount. The woman took a large swallow and sat on a stool in front of the island counter.

"Looks like you're back to normal."

"I am."

Calista nodded.

The long silence made Sabine antsy as she heard Marina and Deuce moving around above them.

"Portugal," Calista said.

The woman cleared her throat and touched her hair. It was soft around her shoulders and ultra- blonde. Sabine admired the clipped-in pieces that made her lank tresses look fuller and healthy.

"Yeah?" Sabine said. She swallowed hard.

"I used to be so worried about him all the time. You get caught up in all the fun parts of his career, but when he hits those extreme places…it gets hard…"

Calista's eyes went to her wine and she stroked the stem nervously.

"I'm concerned, Sugar. He won't talk to me about it and I'm trying my best not to be afraid in front of the children."

Sabine let out a relieved sigh. Calista took in the fear on her face.

"You too?" she said as Sugar drank more wine.

"Yeah."

"Your accident really put me on alert. I know we're not together, but Erik is still the father of my babies and I care about what happens to him every day. The big wave riding unnerves me. I don't like it. Never have. I feel anxious about this upcoming trip and I need to know if you can talk to him about not doing it."

"I already tried. His mind is made up."

"He's been there before. Wiped out bad a few times, but he did it. But the last few years…these waves are different…monstrous. A man died there two years ago—"

Calista's mouth turned into a big "o".

"I'm sorry…I wasn't thinking…I forgot you lost your friend—"  
"It's okay."

"I'm relieved. For some reason, I thought you were like him…a machine when it came to going out there."

"My accident gave me a new perspective."

"I wish he understood his own mortality. I don't think he has a fear gene anywhere in his body. I thought having children would deter him from the big wave riding, but he doesn't care."

Calista reached for the wine bottle and poured herself another glass.

"I'm happy that Deuce has other interests other than surfing, but the more Marina wins, I see her father in her. That drive. She gets it from you too."

Sabine didn't know what to say to that.

"You have a huge influence on Muffin. I'm glad you'll be the voice of reason in this house."

Deuce and Marina came back downstairs. Deuce grabbed a soda from the fridge and Marina grabbed a small apple sauce snack pack from a cupboard.

"Look at what Mommy got us," Marina said holding up a gold chain necklace with a half-circle charm from around her neck.

The gold and diamond-encrusted jagged half-circle had the word "Best" across it. Deuce went into the family room to watch tv but Marina went over to Calista and pulled out a matching necklace from within her mother's blouse. Calista's lower half-circle had the word "Mother" on it and when they held their necklaces together, they connected into a complete circle stating "Best Mother."

"That's pretty," Sabine said.

Marina flipped her necklace over. On the back were the words "Little Sister".

"Deuce has 'Big Brother' on the back of his and we can stick them together that way too."

Marina poked Calista in the side.

"Now?" Calista said to Marina.

"Yes," Marina answered.

Calista reached into her purse and pulled out a small black jewelry box. She slid it across the counter to Sabine.

"For you."

Sabine looked at Marina whose face beamed.

Opening the box, she saw the same jewel-encrusted half-moon necklace. It said "Friend" on it. Sabine pulled it out and held it up. Marina walked over to her and held her necklace above Sabine's. When they connected the jagged pieces together, they became a complete circle.

"Best Friend," Marina said as she read the joined words.

"Thank you," Sabine said.

She gave Marina a hug and felt her eyes water.

"Mommy had them made for us in New York. No one has them like this. Just us. I have Daddy's in my room."

"Best Father?"

"Yep."

"It's on!" Deuce shouted from the family room.

"What monster movie are you two watching now?" Sabine asked.

"Megashark versus OctoCrab."

"Octocrab?"

"A giant Crab with eight mutated claws," Marina said.

Calista looked at her cell phone.

"I better run, my flight leaves in an hour."

She gave Marina a hug.

"I'm leaving Deuce."

"Bye Mom," he called from the family room.

Calista stood up from the stool.

"My driver is still outside, so don't worry about me and the wine," Calista said.

Marina ran into the other room as Sabine walked Calista to the front door. She palmed the necklace in her hand.

"Thank you for this."

Calista stared at Sabine.

"Do me a favor," she said.

Sabine tilted her head.

"What's that?" Sabine asked.

"Please love him for who he is and not for what you want him to be. That was my mistake. He's not easy to be with and the pressure of this life is tough. I wasn't right for Erik. But I think you balance him. I didn't ever think I could say that about another woman. I was angry with you and him for so long. Thank God I learned how to get out of my own way. Life is so much better when I did that. You and I…it'll never be perfect. I expect we'll butt heads in the future. I just want you to know that I'm still a work in progress and I want what's best for my kids. That's all."

Her eyes darted down.

"I needed to get that off of my chest."

"I hear you," Sabine said.

"Goodbye," she said.

Sabine watched her step out into the night air and make her way around to the side street. When Calista was gone from her sight, she stood in the doorway and allowed her eyes to watch the evening waves roll in.

"Fear is the mind-killer," she whispered to herself.

###

Erik returned home and found his children piled on top of the family room couch watching another Syfy channel mashup. Sugar sat at the dining room table with her laptop as the kids ran to him giving him hugs and pats on the back. Marina flew upstairs and ran back down waving a black jewelry box for him.

He opened it in front of them all and his daughter squealed when she and Deuce took turns joining their necklace with his. Sugar fingered a similar necklace around her neck and Erik was surprised that Calista would do something like that for her. They didn't speak of Sugar often to keep the peace between them, but Erik could tell the jewelry meant everything to his woman.

Once he settled in and listened to their east coast adventures with Sugar at the dining table, he hustled them upstairs to get ready for bed. The second floor was filled with steamy hot showers and the aroma of flowery body wash. Erik showed Deuce how to use aftershave for his face after giving him his first electric shaver. The boy was proud even though he still had a little more growth to go on his face before he could shave anything significant. Erik checked in often with Sugar as he got ready for bodily changes with Marina. His daughter had started feeling odd cramps in her belly every now and then, and he had to sigh thinking about his baby girl getting her first period one day soon. They were growing too fast for him. Belinda and Sugar had bought Marina training bras. The little dainty things looked like small sports bras to him when Marina waved them at him from the shopping bags. Too soon. It was too soon for them to start being this grown.

Once the kids were settled and he made sure the house was locked down and secure for the night, Erik climbed up to his bedroom and showered himself. Sugar was in their bed in her short nightie when he crawled in next to her. He rolled over and kissed her.

"Today was good," he said.

"It was."

Her voice sounded wistful and he stared at her face carefully. Running his left hand up and down her side she melted into him. His breathing grew a little ragged as he found himself becoming aroused. His workouts were intense and his body was extra sensitive to tactile stimulation. More so since he was strict with his diet and had more full-body massages from her to work out the tension he carried in his limbs. Colin spoke to him about Sugar being scared for him. She mentioned her concerns and did try to convince him to do Nazare another time, but the way Colin talked to him about it…she wasn't just scared. She was terrified.

Her fingers trailed down his chest and he could see the desire so open in her eyes.

"I received an invitation to a shibari show in San Francisco. We could go to it before heading out to Nazare. If you want to go."

Her eyes closed at the mention of Nazare. He kissed her lips and she cradled his neck. Her long braids fanned out on the pillows.

"Don't be afraid for me, Sugar," he kissed into her mouth.

She groaned and he ran an exploratory finger along the areola of her right breast. He plucked the piercing there and her thighs dropped open for him. He reached down and pulled off his boxers. Her eyes took in his erection and she fumbled with the fastenings on her nightie. Erik admired her body and fingered her clit as he stared into her eyes. He licked his fingers quickly and forced her legs wider so that her folds opened for him.

"I got this, baby," he whispered.

Sugar whimpered as his fingers slipped inside of her. He tapped gently on her walls and lowered his head to suck a nipple.

"Erik…" she whispered.

He leaned away from her and reached down to stroke his dick.

"You know who I am. Known it all your life since you first heard of me."

He tapped his glans against her clit and the wide head spread her wetness as it seeped out from her. Her inner lips spasmed as he struck her harder with his tip. Spanking it into submission, he watched her entire vulva grow shiny and more slippery. Shoving her knees back, Erik lifted up and rested his weight on her as he pushed into her sacred space. The entrance was warm and snug along his length and he gave short thrusts to remind her of what she had been missing since her healing. He could have her body without restrictions now and he needed to teach her about dispelling fear.

"You know me," he grunted as he got down deep into her.

"Hmmm."

"I'm Killmonger…right?"

"Yes!"

He nuzzled her neck and let his teeth scrape along her throat before he bit around her left areola.

"I'm called that for a reason, baby."

His fists rested along either side of her waist as he thrust with snake-like hips into her. Her head bounced back against the pillow. He reached between them and pressed his thumb around her clit. He tugged on the piercing there, then pinched the sweet spot several times until her eyes shut tight as her lips pursed. He threw her legs over his shoulders and slowed down his pumping to give her long deep strokes. Every time he pulled back, he fisted his dick and smacked her clit with it. Over and over he did this until she had sweat pouring down her face and there was a puddle of her own lubricant under her ass. In between slaps of his glans, he licked and nibbled on her vulva. His wide tongue lapped up her nectar and he felt her tremble. He teased her this way until she arched her back and begged him to finish her.

He didn't.

Her eyes stayed wide open as he continued deep stroking and spanking her nub. Her opening throbbed and spewed glossy wetness and he was shocked by his own self-control. His dick grew fatter and glistened with her slickness as he neared his own breaking point, and he gave in to the torture by giving her all of his thickness. His balls slapped her ass and they both grew quiet while enjoying the sound of his dick making her insides creamy.

"Oh, fuck, Killmonger!" she shouted.

Sugar's body flailed under him and he kept right on stroking her down. When another wave of spasms hit her and he felt her pussy tugging around him stronger, he let loose. Roaring his pleasure in her ear, Erik's orgasm had his ass clenched tight. He could feel his balls throbbing and pumping cum into her and when he looked down at his pipe squaring her pussy up, she clawed his arms and collapsed under him.

Panting, sweating, and feeling strong hot flaring tingles rush up and down his back, Erik pulled out of Sugar. More cum spewed from his tip as he rested it on her mound. Lowering his face to hers, he kissed her lips softly.

"Tell me you love me," he said.

"I love you, Killmonger."

"Tell me you won't be scared when I go out there."

Sugar closed her eyes and her hands fell away from his arms. She rolled away from his body and curled into a ball. Erik spooned her.

"I need you to tell me you won't be scared for me."

"I can't say that. My heart is in my throat right now thinking about it."

Erik ran his hands across her hair. She leaned back into him.

"I'm going to be there and support you, Erik. That's all I can promise you right now."

"I'll accept that," he said.

She left his side and went to the bathroom. He heard her cleaning herself up. He used the bathroom after her and took another shower. Sugar was his touchstone. Out of everyone around him, she was the one who knew what it was like to be out there on his level and want to challenge the boundaries. If she had doubts in her mind…

Erik climbed back into bed with her and she slept against him with her arm thrown around his waist.

It took him a long time to finally close his eyes.

###

Praia do Norte, Nazare.

Named in Portuguese after the biblical city in the Holy Land, Nazareth, Praia do Norte was a small seaside fishing village that was home to long sandy beaches. In recent years, Erik became more enchanted with the place as stories started coming out over a decade about giant record-breaking waves crashing against its coast. He studied the geography and learned of the underwater Nazare canyon that caused the ocean swells to grow and converge with a water current that increased the size of the waves like no other place on earth. Powerful beach breaks there gave the world wonder.

Erik watched online as one of the great ones, Garrett McNamara, flew there from Hawaii and broke the first big wave record when he rode a monster seventy-eight-foot beast from trough to crest. It sent a ripple through the big wave world that grew into a tsunami of surfers flooding the place to try their luck at reigning in a leviathan. McNamara's record was broken six years later when the Brazilin surfer Rodrigo Koxa rode an eighty-foot giant.

Amateurs didn't fuck with Nazare.

Most professionals didn't fuck with Nazare.

Each year surfers watched the weather and surf reports waiting to hear when the Big Mamas were arriving. Typically, they came in late fall, mainly November, and word spread fast. More record-breaking swells were on the way. The true big guns flew out there. Erik was one of them.

Erik and several other surfers rode on a fishing boat to get out to the water and he could see drones flying high in the sky and so many jetskis ready to tow-in the surfers and drag them out if needed. Twenty teams were out there. Waiting. Gripping the side of the boat, Erik turned to look back at the shore. His eyes took in the red lighthouse standing on top of the Fort of Sao Miguel Arcanjo. There were international surf photographers up there along with hundreds upon hundreds of spectators waiting to see victory or agonizing, potentially life-ending, defeat. Somewhere up there under the gray skies and howling wind was Sugar.

Erik touched the necklace that his children gave him that his ex-wife paid for. He thought of Marina and Deuce being in school the day before, trying to do classwork and probably wondering if their father was going to come back in one piece. Erik wouldn't be surprised if they were up now watching online.

His eyes darted out to the sea and he could see the challenge before him. He swallowed hard and pushed his earbuds deeper into his ears as his music soothed the anxiousness in his stomach. The boat rocked and felt his balance was thrown off as a swell tipped them far over on the port side. He heard a whistle blow in the distance and saw Colin wave at him. His best friend's jet ski was tossed about and Colin practiced their hand signals to get them prepped for any problems. Erik tugged on his surf vest. It was snug around him and he hoped he wouldn't have to pull the tabs to buoy him up in an emergency.

Closing his eyes, Erik breathed deeper.

Focus.

Man.

Board.

Wave.

All the years of experience he had gained culminated in this one day. His body was ready. His mind was steady. His spirit felt peace. His children were loved and in a home that finally nurtured their gifts. He had a woman who loved him and that he loved with his entire being. He was at the height of his game in the sport.

There was no prize money to be gained there.

There were no timed heats or judges ranking him.

He wasn't competing against another surfer.

It was only man against wave. To the victor goes the spoils.

The day before Erik had stood with Colin and Sugar next to the lighthouse studying the wave breaks. He tried to look for a pattern as the waves exploded below them, and he watched Sugar take in the great watery arena with awe and fear in her eyes. Breaking angles. Peaks. He watched how the wind blew against the face of the waves as they rushed in like moving mountains. The currents were tricky. That's what he heard from the veterans who surfed there before him as they sat in a village bar trading tips. The currents worried him the most. They could push him into no-go zones where Colin couldn't reach him. He had to avoid the left-hand waves as much as possible. He didn't want his body beaten against rocks from eight-story waves.

Erik held Sugar's hand and she squeezed it many times as the deafening breaks crashed and churned far down the lighthouse cliff hugged against the sea. He pushed back on the subtle creeping of nervous energy. He channeled the surf God within himself and stared down his opponent. The waves were relentless. Brutal. Cold. He studied the multiple sets that rolled in. Timed them in his mind as he tried to detect patterns to the breaks. This knowledge could save his life if he fell. His breath control was impeccable. He could hold it for nearly four minutes and knew how to control his heart rate so he wouldn't panic when he fell and had to wait for Colin to get to him. Their hand signals would let Colin know if he could wait to get Erik if the sets made it difficult for his friend to rescue him right away. That could mean Erik would have to continually hold his breath as wave after wave pounded over him. He had to fight to breathe and not get fatigued enough where he could drown.

The drop off point arrived and Erik grabbed his board that he made for the serious occasion. It was a specialized tow board with foot grips to keep him in place as Colin dragged him out. He jumped in and felt the immediate temperature drop against his wetsuit. Connecting his covered feet into the foot straps. He sat in the water watching other surfers make their way into the sea around him.

Men and a couple of women that Erik came to know over the years, competed with, fought, and argued with, sat in the water with their own thoughts like him.

Colin swung around and threw the tow rope to him. Erik grabbed it.

"We here to do this!" Colin yelled.

His voice was thrown to the left of Erik's face as the wind kicked up. Erik kissed his children's necklace and tucked it inside his wetsuit.

"No one else has gone yet," Colin said.

"Let's bust it open!" Erik shouted.

Colin twisted the throttle and shot away from him and Erik felt the tension of the rope grow tight as it lifted him and his board above the water. His mind slowed down and he hyper fixated on what he needed to do. Stay conservative the first few rides. Stay in the top half of the wave so he wouldn't get caught in a falling lip or a mountain of whitewater. The rides were short and intense and he prepared to kick out early.

Colin whipped Erik around and his eye caught the lighthouse. Releasing the rope, he felt the surge of powerful water lift him up. He exhaled and dropped down as wind-whipped sprays of icy liquid struck his face.

Jesus.

The wall was massive.

He moved fast on the board making a line at such supersonic speed that he felt every bump and microscopic wobble. Despite the speed, his mind crawled to a slow-motion state. His eyes rapidly calculated how much further he could skim along the wall. He heard the whitewater crashing down behind him ready to swallow him up. It was time to kick out before it caught up to him. Leaning his weight forward, he felt the nose of the board strike hard against the giant's face and his balance became a precarious scramble to overcompensate and avoid a wipeout at forty miles an hour.

Erik didn't do what he told himself to do.

"Fuck conservative!" he shouted to the water.

Lifting his legs in an extreme kick out, Erik did a one-eighty and flew over his escape route. He dropped down into the safety zone and saw Colin zip around to greet him.

"Nigga, you wildin' already?!"

Colin floated near him and they struck hands.

"What was it? Forty feet? Fifty?" Erik yelled.

"Big Mama is out here today, man. That was at least sixty."

Erik whistled.

"You were riding it too, bruh!"

"Briefly to track your ass."

"Let's go!"

Erik twirled his finger around and Colin dragged him back out to sea to catch another one.

His eyes went back to the lighthouse as he gripped the tow rope.

"Sugar…I got this baby. Watch me."


	47. Ascension (Don't Ever Wonder)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik faces his biggest wave with Sugar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end! Yay! I finished another book. Woot! Woot!  
> Next month the next book in the series "Beyond The Waves" will start. Stay tuned.  
> I'm also getting back to "Black Boys Bloom Thorns First Vol 3" so be ready! And of course "Concrete Cowboys" is ongoing!
> 
> Enjoy!

"It happened the moment  
When you were revealed  
'Cause you were a dream  
That you should not have been a fantasy, real

You gave me this beating baby  
This rhythm inside high  
Well, you made me feel good  
And feel nice and feel loved  
Gave me paradise  
So

Shouldn't I realize  
You're the highest of the high  
And if you don't know then I'll say it  
So don't ever wonder (Don't ever wonder)"

Maxwell – "Ascension (Don't Ever Wonder)"

Sabine held Erik's hand clasped in her fingers for the duration of the entire flight to Portugal.

Colin snoozed next to her with a blanket thrown over his face, and Erik had his nose pressed against her cheek instead of the window. Sitting between the two men, her mind grappled with Nazare and monster waves that could snatch Erik away from her.

Once they landed from their long flight in Lisbon, they rented a car and Colin drove them eighty miles into the small coastal village that hosted the event. The quaint lodging they stayed in together was cozy. Everything had been booked for the surfing event and Colin had to share sleeping space with them. They took time to unwind in their room then wandered together to search for a place to eat late in the evening. Finding a busy restaurant on the esplanade overlooking the beach, they ate a seafood meal that reminded Sabine of an Italian soup dish that was filled with octopus, clams, shrimp, and local fish.

Erik looked calm.

Too calm.

Nazare was jumping with professional surfers and tourist fans even in the cold weather. Sabine kept her puffy red jacket on inside the restaurant as they tucked into their food. When their bellies were stuffed and jet lag caught up with them, they meandered back to their lodging, turned on the heater, and tumbled into two beds. Sabine curled around Erik's chest and fell asleep the moment he stroked her back.

They all slept in until late in the afternoon the next day, allowing their bodies to acclimate before taking a long walk to go see the waves that brought them there.

Chills ran up and down Sabine's back as she stood next to Erik clutching his hand staring at the watery mountains moving toward land from the top of the Forte de Sao Miguel Arcanjo.

"Oh my God," she muttered under her breath.

YouTube videos didn't do the enormity of what she saw justice.

The sets were monstrous.

Being on the beach could be dangerous at that time. Sabine thought of the story that was told to her about a little girl and her grandfather walking along Salgado Beach and being swept out to sea by a freak wave.

"Hey…it's all good," Erik whispered to her.

His soft lips pressed into her left cheek making the skin there warm from the icy jabs of the wind striking her face. There were many others standing around them watching the colossal giants roll in.

"You stand up here near the lighthouse and I can see you—"

"You won't be able to see me—"

"With your red jacket on, just jump up and down and I'll see you."

"I don't think so."

Erik kissed her again and she turned her head so she could have his lips on hers. His larger bottom lip swallowed hers and she parted the sea of her mouth for him allowing his tongue to probe the heat inside.

Sabine squealed when a spray of icy water wet them and a few others as they stood close to the edge of the protective wall. The northwest swells were doing their job. Sabine giggled and wiped her face. Erik grinned and his dimples made her feel easy. When she glanced at Colin, that easiness dissipated. Colin looked worried.

"Colin?"

Sabine wrapped her arms around his as he wiped water droplets from his face.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

Sabine tried to make her voice sound cheery but Colin couldn't even muster up a matching tone.

"My work is cut out for me," he said.

Sabine rested her head on his shoulder.

"You're the best," she said into his ear.

Colin threw an arm around her and gave her a head rub with his knuckles.

"That I am," he said.

She could tell he was trying to perk up for her, but his eyes betrayed his bravado. Sitting on the wall, Sabine watched more waves crash forward and when she grew too cold and wet to stay put, she returned to Erik's side. He put both of his arms around her chest to warm her up.

"I'll stay in for the rest of the day. We can bring food inside and talk to the kids later?"

Sabine nodded and clutched onto his arms.

They took their time walking back into the center of the village and back to their room. Colin brought them fast food as Erik napped and when they finished lunch, both men slept on the beds as she wrote on her Maverick blog. She uploaded pictures of the fort and made her posts cheerful. Watching the men sleep, she took stock of her life.

One little girl.

That's all it took.

One little girl with an endearing sleepy eye and thin body standing barefoot in front of Sabine as she cleaned wetsuits.

Marina.

What if Sabine hadn't been there that day? Where would her life be?

In her gut, she knew she would become a decent professional, but there was no way she would be where she was that fast without Erik. His daughter was the catalyst. His fighting with Calista and that scuffle spilling out onto the outside in full public view brought him to her with the patter of Marina's feet running to stop Erik from feuding. He had been such a dick to her on that day.

But he saw something in her.

What if she had never kissed him?

She felt something kindle on a low flame between them after she kissed him. It was wrong to do that with a married man, but she couldn't help the joy he brought to her when he said she was a worthy surfer. The validation made her grateful and bold. That boldness sealed the deal between them.

Her eyes flitted over to Colin. He was curled into a ball with the covers of his bed tucked under his chin. Sabine's affection for him had grown over the two years of knowing him. She could feel his love for her sometimes, especially when she watched him work with Erik as they practiced for Nazare in Mission Bay waters. He was respectful with her at all times even when there were moments when he would look at her with a gentle longing. He dated often and she met a few of his lovers, but there was still a sweet affection among their interactions and she was happy that it didn't bother Erik at all.

Somehow the men had an understanding. Nothing would come between Erik and her, no matter what Colin felt. That was just the way it would be for all time. That understanding made their physical hugs and platonic kisses easy to enjoy in front of Erik. But it also left an unspoken tension of playful rivalry. They always tried to one-up each other in front of her in the water. It also helped that Colin had other women to spoil and show off.

Sabine watched TV, and after they had dinner together in the room, they sat in front of Erik's laptop and spoke to Deuce, Marina, Papi, and her mother at the trilevel. They were going to watch the event online with Erik's huge family room TV.

Bedtime came fast, and Sabine shared a bottle of red wine with Erik and Colin before they turned in. The air around them was charged with anticipation. They would sleep and the next morning they would be up early to face the unknown.

Sabine showered and tied her braids up. Sitting on the edge of the bed she shared with Erik, she rubbed her legs and feet with sesame oil allowing the emollient to be absorbed into her winter skin that looked a little ashy since she arrived in Portugal. Her legs felt strong and her body itched to be back in the water again. Erik rolled over in the bed and nudged his nose against her back. She stroked his neck and wiped the rest of the oil on her arms. She wore a thin silky baby doll slip and Erik ran his fingers against her side making the material rub soothing circles into her skin.

"Don't do anything wild out there," she said.

Colin snorted and Sabine watched him turn over in his bed to look at her and Erik.

"Good luck," Colin teased.

"I'm serious," she said glancing down at Erik.

"I'm a big boy—"

"You're a crazy boy," she corrected.

Erik kissed her hip through her slip.

"You be careful too," she admonished Colin.

Colin's stellar smile beamed at her and Sabine felt like they were too dismissive with her words.

"I'm just going to bring him to the waves—"

"And I'll shred those mofos—"

"Stop it!"

Her voice made them both pause.

The wind outside howled a bit and Sabine's head dropped forward.

"I know you're both trying to sound confident, but we all saw those waves today. Tomorrow is supposed to be bigger, stronger…massive…I want you to leave that water the way you go in…"

Sabine squeezed her eyes shut.

"I don't want us joking or being so nonchalant that…that…"

An image of herself falling off of her surfboard in Indo made her body go rigid. Sabine felt the brutal tearing of the coral reef into her leg and face ghosting her flesh and the pain and horror of that terrible time washed over her causing her breath to hitch in her chest. She squeezed her hands into tight fists trying to shake the memory away.

"Sugar…"

She felt Erik shift on the bed and sit up suddenly.

Two firm warm hands held hers and when she opened her eyes, Colin was kneeling before her cradling her fingers. Erik's lips kissed her face and Colin kissed her hands. Her right hand rested on Colin's cheek as her left hand caressed Erik's neck as he gifted her with more precious kisses.

"We hear you," Erik whispered.

Colin nodded and she felt a bit of relief.

"I want you both to do well and I want you both alive and in one piece at the end of the day tomorrow."

"I will," Erik said sliding his tongue in her ear before he nibbled on her earlobe.

Colin sat back on his bed and Erik hugged her.

"I'll bring his peanut head back to you," Colin said.

Sabine crawled under the covers next to Erik. Colin adjusted the lamplight on the nightstand that sat between the two beds. The book he had on his extra pillow filled his hand as he did a bit of reading.

With her head on his chest, Sabine relaxed into Erik's arms until she dozed with the sound of the wind growing less wild and squally. A few hours went by and Sabine awoke to Erik stroking her hair.

"Hard to sleep?" she whispered.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"Us. The kids. Where we are. Sometimes it doesn't feel real to me."

"What does it feel like?"

"Peaceful. Calm. Erratic sometimes. Wide-open to possibilities. Exciting. It's like the world is new and I'm eighteen again. I try to think of what more I need and honestly…I'm set. I never thought I could say that. At least not now. Maybe sometime in the future. It's a good feeling. The best feeling."

Sabine kissed him and his eyes took her in when she pulled her mouth away from his.

"It's real, right? It's not make-believe or something just in my head…" he asked.

She nodded and when his dimples popped out as he twisted his bottom lip between his teeth, her eyes watered.

"Baby…" he whispered dropping his head down to her.

His lips touched both of her eyelids kissing away her tears.

"You mean everything to me," he said.

"I think I would die without you."

"Love me that much, huh?"

Sabine wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her on top of him. Their kisses became slow explorations of mouths, ears, necks, and the hallow parts of their throats. Erik's fingers swept under her slip and up her back lifting the flimsy garment off of her body and over her head. She wiggled out of her panties as he snaked his hips to help rid him of his boxer briefs. He pulled her body closer to his and he lifted his neck so that he could reach her breasts. His teeth tugged on her nipple piercings and once his tongue slathered them with wet licks, the flesh above it pebbled, and Sabine moaned out loud. Erik lifted her in one fluid motion and planted her on her back. Her legs twisted under the covers and wrapped around his waist as he plunged inside of her.

Both of Erik's hands rested in her palms and his fingers threaded with hers against the mattress. Despite the gentle clasping of their digits, his lovemaking was desperate…rough. The deeper he sank into her stretching her walls with rapid thrusts, the more aroused she became. Her head thrashed about as she squeezed her lids tight trying to take every inch of him without screaming.

"Fuck!" he gasped dropping his face into the pillow.

He slowed down once he hit the bottom of her pussy. He was snug inside of her and she threw her arms around his neck to keep him pressed against her chest.

"Erik…damn…" she groaned into his ear.

He let out a raspy moan as he pumped into her and she lost the ability to say any more words as the friction on her ass and back grew stronger with his thrusts. Sabine turned her head to the side as he sucked on her neck ramping up the pleasure her skin was experiencing from his body heat, sweat, and aggressive lips.

"Oh!"

The gasp flew from her mouth as her clit ring rubbed against his groin and her eyes locked with Colin's.

She had forgotten he was in the room once Erik had her under his spell. Her man's fingers, hot steamy kisses, and thick erection erased a whole ass human from the world they were loving each other in.

The soft light of the lamp let Colin see everything they were doing and she saw the desire in his eyes and the arousal in his body as his hand worked his dick under his covers. The tugging on her clit made her lips fall open with an uncontrollable shout escaping her throat. Erik's head turned to the side and rested on hers and she knew he saw Colin watching them. He said nothing and continued long agonizing strokes. She grew agitated and embarrassed when her slick center made noise that Colin could clearly hear. He grunted and they both heard his fist beat down on his dick.

There was nothing she could do.

Erik wasn't going to stop.

She didn't want him to.

Colin wasn't going to stop.

She didn't want him to either.

Sabine sweated profusely from under Erik and her man tortured her with balls deep fucking. She thought she would overheat and pass out from their lovemaking until Erik threw the covers off of them so he could bend her legs back. Colin saw everything. Sabine felt no shame whatsoever because Erik was bringing her to complete ecstasy and Colin was going to witness it. Male ego. Claiming her body in front of a beloved rival. Pointed exhibitionism. It didn't matter anymore.

It was a different type of threesome.

It wasn't about the physical for there was no need to consummate a sexual union with Colin.

As Erik took her for himself in front of Colin, Sabine imagined that her man wanted to share this last bit of their love before he challenged the sea with his best friend. Perhaps if something happened to either one of them on what was predicted to be a historic day of surfing, then Erik would know they shared something beautiful together. It was purely accidental, but it was relieving them of fear, doubts, and unspoken things that facing possible death could bring.

Sabine's jeweled breasts rubbed against Erik's chest once more as he pressed his full weight back on her, his face staring at Colin's alongside hers as she reached her peak.

Erik sunk down into her over and over again, his hard grunts echoing in her ears.

"Come back to me…come back to me…come back to me…" she huffed back at him.

"Yes! Shit…I'll be here for you…fuck…fuck, baby…taking my dick so good…oh fuck do that again…yeah…like that…squeeze it…squeeze it…yeah…yeah…do that…fuck…keep doing that…that clit is on my dick…baby…"

"I'm cumming!" she shrieked.

"Sugar!"

Erik shouted her name as he swelled inside of her releasing hot spurts of semen deep down into her womb. Her pussy clenched along his length and his moans grew louder as he kept ejaculating. Their eyes were on each other.

"I love you…" Erik groaned as the chords in his neck strained from his release.

"Love you…!" she shrieked.

The rippling of her orgasm bloomed into the throbbing of her anal opening and trickled down through her legs and out of her toes that pointed to the ceiling.

Colin's covers fell aside and she watched him cum all over his hand in thick white ropes that dripped along his fingers like hot candle wax.

"Damn!" he yelled pumping out more semen until he collapsed on his bed.

The room was full of exhausted pants and drenched bodies untwisting from hunched positions. Sabine's eyes regarded Erik's with adoration and contentment. He was all grins and dimples and soft laughter as he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.

Colin removed himself from his bed and padded over to the bathroom. He returned draped in a towel and threw a clean one to Erik while shaking his head at them both.

Sabine allowed Erik to wipe them both and no words were spoken among the three of them as Colin returned to reading his book. She threw her slip on and plodded her way to the bathroom to urinate and clean up better. When she returned to their bed, Erik nuzzled his face against her chest. He listened to her heartbeat until he fell asleep. When she heard Colin snoring, she reached over and turned off the light.

###

Photographers stood posted up along the wall and Sabine stood behind them.

Erik took the first wave of the day.

Sabine's hands became tight balls again inside her coat pockets as she watched Colin tow Erik far out in the ocean. There were no shore breaks for them with waves that size. Drones buzzed above her and out across the water as a slim shimmer of sunlight broke through to join the wind and unpredictable sets coming through. Hanging near the lighthouse, she jumped up and down even though she knew Erik couldn't see her from that far away.

Breath stuck inside her throat and chest, Sabine saw him ride successfully and she exhaled loud along with a few other people holding their breath too. There was much hand-clapping and hooting for him. Other surfers began to crank up and Sabine found herself struggling to breathe as she saw the best of the best navigate size, speed, and execution. Colin and the others on jet ski patrol were kept busy and she nearly lost it when Colin's vehicle took a roll. He clung to it and sped away from incoming drag and she learned to detach from stress.

"Killmonger!"

A woman yelped her man's name and her eyes caught Colin dragging Erik in front of a fast-moving tower but he bailed out at the last minute. Another surfer, Bobby Littleton snagged the ride instead as his partner whipped him into the wave oncoming late. The peak rose behind him like a Lovecraftian shoggoth awakened from the deep. It carried Littleton high as his body was a streak of white watery lines in the liquid.

"Oh shit!" Sabine shouted when Littleton's board was clipped by the foamy white tendrils chasing after him.

He disappeared under a vast wall of water. Two jet skis were unable to get to him and his body was pummeled by another surge of liquid horror.

"Where is here?" someone muttered and they all heard the terror in the question.

It was bad.

Sabine couldn't see a trace of anything and the patrollers who were able to flit in and out of the pounding surf looked confused.

"Jesus!" someone yelped and they all saw a motionless body float to the surface as a desperate patrol team dragged the man onto the back of a rescue board.

Sabine held her hands to her lips as she silently prayed for Littleton. Her eyes darted out to sea checking for Erik, but he sat out there with the others watching and waiting. She hopped on her cell to listen to reports from the beach and sponsors online.

Littleton was dragged to the beach where paramedics waited with a stretcher for him.

"There goes Jenny!"

A woman with a long lens zoom camera shouted and they all turned back to the line and watched one of the few women surfers there take off on a rollercoaster ride that ended in success despite her falling softly into the shoulder of the wave. A collective sigh of relief rolled from the spectators. More surfers continued. None were Erik. A jovial reporter from an Australian news outlet spoke on his phone thirty minutes later and Sabine overheard Littleton's condition.

His back was completely broken. Bones shattered.

Sabine groaned deep in her throat as she closed her eyes thinking of her long recovery.

"Will he be alright?" Sabine asked stepping close to the reporter.

The man stared at her then recognized her face.

"Broken back is all we know so far. He's done," the reporter said.

Her own convalescence had been slow and painful. Littleton would have a full body cast and months of physical therapy ahead of him. That is if he didn't become paralyzed—

"Killmonger!"

Shouts of Erik's name flew about the wall again and Sabine positioned herself near a crop of photographers. One of them handed her a pair of binoculars and she kicked herself for not thinking of bringing her own pair.

Colin waved his finger and Erik gave a signal back to him and released the bar. Colin moved the jet ski along the peak of the wave until he ran along the side to watch Erik glide.

Erik was halfway down and driving the board away from the cloud-white foam curling toward him. He hit a bump and flew headfirst into the wall.

"Erik!"

Sabine nearly flew over the wall before a reporter held her back.

He had powerful lungs.

He could hold his breath longer than most humans.

He was strong.

Erik's head popped up, but he went under another pounding wave that crashed over him. Sabine knew he would relax his body to stay calm so that he wouldn't panic and use up his air too fast. Colin zipped in but couldn't reach Erik before a larger wave came down on him again. When his head broke the surface, he signaled to Colin that he was fine and to stay clear one more time.

Sabine's hands gripped the binoculars as she saw Erik go under again. Four waves. They battered his body and he was drifting toward the jagged rocks in a zone he wanted to stay out of.

"Get him, Colin!" she murmured.

A fifth wave covered him and she couldn't find him as the foamy water subsided. Colin drove in fast and hot circling the area where Erik was last seen. Erik's hand reached out and she saw that he had pulled the tabs on his vest. He was exhausted and couldn't take any more.

"Please…" she whispered as another incoming waved loomed nearby.

Colin reached for Erik's hand but her man was weak. He couldn't pull himself onto the tow rescue board and slipped back under the water. Dragging his hand into the icy water, Colin rooted around for Erik as the rescue tow was tousled and shoved away from her man.

"Erik…" she whispered.

He gasped for air and lunged for the cross webbing on the rescue board. Jamming his right arm in between the webbing, Erik hung on as best he could as Colin whipped them away from certain death. Erik couldn't take another underwater holding. His legs dangled and bounced on the water as Colin drove them toward the beach.

Sabine dropped the binoculars on her chest and covered her eyes.

He's okay. He's okay. He's okay.

Colin helped drag Erik onto the sand and another set of EMTs ran to him with a stretcher. Erik sat up then fell on the stretcher but the EMTs didn't move him. Colin knelt by his side holding his right hand and they stayed that way for a long time. Forty minutes passed and Sabine tried to get information from the same reporter who told her about Littleton, but his sources weren't relaying anything to him.

Her heart returned to the left side of her chest when Erik sat up on his own and shook his head. He stood up on his two feet without help and walked toward the water where he picked up his board. An eruption of claps and whistles rang out around her.

He was fine.

Strapping his surfboard onto the rescue board. He hopped on the back of the jet ski with Colin and they took a circuitous route back out to sea. Erik kept looking over his shoulder toward the fort and Sabine jumped up and down trying to get his attention as she followed his movement with the binoculars. He threw a hand up and she knew he did it just to let her know he was fine even if he couldn't see her.

Her chest puffed out as Erik dropped back into the water and attached his board to his feet once more. He bobbed in the ocean waiting for Colin to move. They seemed to be talking until Colin swept Erik back in front of an oncoming beast.

Sabine became a teenager all over again.

Her hero.

Killmonger.

Riding the biggest wave she would ever see in her entire life.

For a split second, Killmonger looked like Apollo clasping onto the reins of a great chariot and riding icy seawater equines instead of fiery horses across the sky. Colin towed him into the heaving gargantuan maw and Sabine's heart nearly thumped out of her chest again. Killmonger tossed the handle of the leash and Colin raced alongside him once more as they both were lifted by a mountainous wave. Once Killmonger headed down, Colin drove the jet ski above the lip watching his friend drop into the void.

All fear left her then.

This was her dream.

Her destiny.

Killmonger was once more a fast-moving streak of white breaking the surface fast like a finger scooping a trail of dark blue icing from a massive white cake. He stayed ahead of the curling until his tremendous speed tapered off and the whitewater caught up to him, covering him entirely. The tip of his board could be seen just ahead of the impact zone. He shot over the face still standing upright with his hands thrown above his head.

"…biggest…"

"…record…"

"…unbelievable…"

"….massive…"

Sabine shrieked as cameras clicked and flashed. Tossing the binoculars back to the owner, she sprinted out of the fort and ran down toward the beach. Another reporter saw her running from his car and offered her a ride. She took it barely able to contain all the emotions bursting from within. Hopping out of the compact car she ran past paramedics and observers as Colin brought Killmonger to land.

Her man dropped his board and took a deep breath as he looked up at the sky. Was he unable to process what he had just done?

When his head dropped down and his eyes leveled with hers, the biggest grin spread across his face and she tackled him. Wrapping her legs around his waist she hugged him tight and peppered his face with kisses until he slid his arms around her.

"Told you…I brought his peanut head back!" Colin quipped.

"Kept my promise," Erik whispered in her ear.

Sabine cradled his face in her hands.

"Don't cry…" he soothed.

"You did it!"

"I know—"

"When Littleton went down —"

"I'm not going out like that."

"You knew it was a bad wave?"

Erik nodded.

"Good…"

Sabine kissed him and he rocked her. Hopping down from him she ran up to Colin and gave him the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Nobody else but you!" she shouted poking him in his chest.

"As long as my boy wants to do this, I'll be by his side," Colin declared.

She ran back to Erik and they could see reporters, fans, and event organizers waiting for him above the beach. He glanced over at Colin.

"Whatchu think? Better than Rodrigo?"

"Guinness," Colin said with confidence.

Erik threw an arm around Sabine and pulled her in close.

"I'm still your favorite?" he asked.

"Always," she said bursting into tears.

Sabine buried her face in his chest. He was always going to be her hero.

###

Erik stood once more near the red lighthouse on the fort.

They had more than six hours to get to Lisbon and catch their flight back to the states. He wanted to watch the waves roll in one last time before they left for home. He could hear Sabine and Colin chattering away with some tourists as he scanned the horizon.

There was speculation that he may have ridden a behemoth near one hundred feet in height. It would take time to be verified. All Erik knew was that the moment he released the leash, his only thought was to ride down and ride out. His brain slowed down his thoughts and his body went into muscle memory and self-action. He was drained from the previous run and almost gave up the ghost while lying exhausted on the beach. His safety vest had burst and was unable to buoy him properly and he used all of his lasting strength to stay alive and not become a battered body. His woman had watched another man's broken body lifted into an ambulance and whisked away to a career-ending turn. Littleton retired immediately once he was out of surgery. He would never return to the career he loved.

That final drop had Erik barely using his rail to control his movement. He glided across a once in a lifetime wave and lived to talk about it.

Because of her.

Sugar.

How many times did he bypass riding big waves at Nazare over the years? He'd vacationed there and watched friends go at it, but the desire waxed and waned, and sometimes when he thought he was ready, the weather and waves didn't come together in certain years, or he was too late arriving once the ginormous swells had passed on to another part of the world.

This time, things were aligned, and he sat that at Sugar's feet. She had gathered up his messy life, shook it out, and straightened up all the lumpy wrinkled bits.

Erik watched her talk to Colin as he took pictures of the waves for his own Surfgeist website.

His best friend watched him make love to Sugar. The man stroked himself to an orgasm and Erik didn't care. Strange. The need to allow Colin a glimpse into an intimacy that he would cherish for the rest of his life was like bestowing a sacred gift. It would never happen again, and they would never speak of it. They were all feeling like fragile mortals that night and that glimpse into the eternal trumped everything in Erik's mind.

Stranger still, the act brought him closer to Sugar and his mind sought out hers.

"Baby," he called out to her.

She scurried over to him and linked her arm with his. Colin continued taking his pictures and they walked away from him to the other side of the lighthouse.

"I want you to live with me and the kids permanently," he said.

Her eyes studied his.

"I don't want you house-hopping or couch surfing anymore. I want all your things with us. We're your home base now."

"Serious?"

"I want to try new things, but I need you with me. Marina and Deuce need you too."

Her eyes took in the sea.

"I have all these ideas going on in my head. My production company is growing and I want to work with Colin more and travel less."

"Are you retiring?"

"No. Not yet."

"What about breaking Slater's record and going into the history books?"

"Don't need it like that. Not like before."

"Why?"

"Because of you."

He held her hand.

"You've given my life new meaning. Shit that I thought was life or death….they just don't matter to me like that anymore. I read somewhere that when your authentic life calls to you, you have to answer."

"You sound like mi abuela."

"She had a hand in my thoughts."

Sugar watched his face closely.

"So…what do you think?" he asked.

"All my stuff?"

"Yeah."

"That means my friends will be over all the time—"

"I like them-"

"My parents too—"

"Love them-"

"Our schedules may flip flop a lot when I start surfing again…soon."

"Bring it."

Her smile was all he needed and he felt himself soar deep in his bones.

Erik leaned in toward her and her lips smothered his before he could reach hers first. They heard music blaring from a car that drove away and she pulled back first.

"We need to get going," Colin said catching Erik's attention.

Erik held out his hand for Sugar. She rested her palm easy in his and he led her toward their future together.

###

"Wait…that's not a good one."

Sabine looked behind her as she floated on her board. The waves in Mission Beach were about three feet, nothing too impressive, but perfect for her and Marina to have a lazy surf day.

Marina lifted up from her board and sat back to bob in the water with Sabine.

"I should practice on bad waves so I can be good like you in any condition," Marina answered.

Sabine smiled. Marina sat her hands on her board. The sun burned down from behind them and with no strong breeze or protection, there would be burns when they stepped out of the water. They both opted not to wear rash guards since it was the first day of Spring.

"What do you want to do for your birthday?" Sabine asked.

Marina grabbed the top of her ponytail and pulled the thick curls to tighten up her hairband.

"Go to Baja."

"Again?"

"I love it there."

"You just want Abuela to spoil you."

Marina grinned.

"We just went there for Christmas and New Year's. How 'bout someplace new?"

"I'll be twelve so I want to have a fancy dinner party and dress up."

"That sounds like a plan."

"In Italy."

"Ooh, big time," Sabine teased.

"Sugar?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you and Daddy get married?"

"We haven't talked about that—"

"But you love each other—"

"We do—"

"So why not get married?"

"You want your father married?"

She nodded.

"He's happy. I think he wants to marry you," Marina insisted.

Sabine stared at the shore. She could see the tri-level and smoke coming up from the outdoor grill. Erik and Deuce were preparing dinner since it was their night to do so.

"How would you feel if we got married?"

"I'd feel happy. Happier. I would also make the best maiden of honor."

Sabine splashed water on her and Marina splashed her back and glanced over her shoulder.

"This sucks donkey balls—"

"Hey!"

"These are terrible surfing conditions."

"Better."

Marina smirked and tightened her hair again.

"Marina…thank you."

"For what?"

"Coming into my life. Being an awesome young lady. Being my friend."

The girl's thick eyelashes fluttered. She was so big now. A little pre-teen. Practically the same age Deuce was when she first met him. Her once thin body was heavier, more athletic, and she was taller too. Her parents were tall so she was bound to sprout into a little tree herself.

"I could say the same thing to you, y'know."

"Well say it!"

Marina giggled.

"I can do something better," she said.

Marina scooted her board closer to Sabine's and held out her pinky finger.

Sabine's breath caught in her throat.

"That's for you and your Dad, Baby Shark," Sabine said.

"It's for family. C'mon…"

Marina wiggled her finger toward her. Sabine linked her right pinky with the girl and they snapped their fingers afterward.

"Here's a good one," Sabine said.

"Let's go!" Marina yelled.

They paddled fast and caught a wave together and just rode it straight to the sand. No fancy moves. No one-eighties or shredding. Just smooth gliding. Grabbing their boards when they hit the sand, they walked to the house and joked together. The odor of grilled meat hit their nostrils and Sabine heard her stomach grumble.

Deuce jumped in front of her.

"Wait right there!" he said running into the house.

"Where's he going?" Sabine asked.

Erik turned over some steaks and wiped his hands on a paper towel ignoring her. Marina took their surfboards and leaned them against the house and rinsed them down with a hose.

"Check it!"

Deuce returned with a board covered inside a blue board sock. He handed it to her. Sabine had been working on the very first surfboard that she shaped all by herself and Erik promised to have it painted by the weekend.

"Is this my board?" she squealed.

"Sort of," Erik said.

Sabine took the shortboard from Deuce and unzipped it. The surfboard inside was not the pale canary yellow she asked for. It was a different board altogether.

"What is this?" she asked.

Turning the three-finned purple and silver beauty around to the front her mouth dropped open.

"Deuce designed the logo, and I'm going to run a limited series of them when you start the tour."

Fancy script in glossy royal purple and chrome lettering spelled out "Azucar!" along the deck.

"We have some other designs we're testing, but this is the first one we made," Deuce said.

His light eyes were framed by short carefree curls. A faint mustache was coming in to match the maturity of his face.

"I don't think Maverick can come at me for trademark infringement, but this is all you, Sugar. A future star deserves her own surfboard line," Erik said.

Sabine ran her left hand along the clean surface of her name. On the tail of the board was a silver three-cubed geometric shape stacked like a little pyramid. Deuce saw her checking it out.

"I'm trying to work on something like sugar cubes, but since this is the prototype, you're stuck with it."

"I love it, Deuce," she said.

Marina grabbed her board from the wall.

"Let's go test it!" the girl shouted running back toward the water.

Sabine kissed Deuce on his forehead and Erik on his lips.

"I love it! Thank you!"

She trailed after Marina.

"Wait! What about the food?" Erik shouted to them both.

"Later, dude!" Marina tossed back to him wiggling a shaka sign with her thumb and pinky finger above her head.

"Women. See how they left us to do all the cooking and board making?" Deuce whined.

"For them? Always," she heard Erik declare.

When Sabine and Marina popped up on their surfboards to ride fast and loose, the waves were much better.

So much better.


End file.
